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COMMUNITY DIALOGUE8 A Word in EdgewiseHanging Together To Hang Us Separately

9 LettersHat Off to Jones

10 Queer As FolksRexroad Named Family Equality Council Midwest Regional Senior Manager • Broadway Comes to Minnesota Concert Features Creel • Gleason Affi liates with Residential Mortgage Group, Division of Alerus Financial • The Cho Dependent Tour Coming to the State Theatre

NATIONAL COMING OUT DAYCover Feature12 Annie HuidekoperSt. Paul Saints Vice President Shares Her Story

16 Patty KeeganJakeeno’s Proprietor Relates Her Experience

18 Coming Out at WorkA Demonstration of Pride

HOME & YARD BOULEVARD20 “Lifestyle For Rent”Mill District City Apartments: “More Like an Urban Resort”

NEWS & POLITICS24 Big Gay NewsNational News

26 Behaving BradleyRemembering Justin Aaberg

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT28 Playwright Discusses Gay Currents in Her The Master Butchers Singing ClubInterview with Marsha Norman

32 On the TownsendSleep Deprivation Chamber • The Glass Menagerie • The Great Game: Afghanistan • Vigil • Dudley: Rigged for Laughter • Rock of Ages

33 The Page BoyGender Outlaws: The Next Generation • Let’s Get This Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ Parents • On Location: A Rita Farmer Mystery • Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade

Use Your Black “Bar” Tab To FindBAR SCENE36 Bar Advertiser GuideFind Your Way to Hot Spots

36 Bartender SpotlightGay 90’s: Jason

38 Bar Showcase19 Bar

40 Bar CalendarPlan Your Bar Outings

41 Lavender LensNorth Star Gay Rodeo Association Barn Dance

CUISINE42 Off the Eaten PathJakeeno’s: Serves Fabulous Home-Style Italian Cuisine

SPORTS & LEISURE49 Lavender LensMankato Pridefest

50 Lavender LensTwin Cities Black Pride Park Festival

51 Lavender LensSt. Cloud Pridefest

52 Lavender LensBingo A-GoGo

54 Lavender LensProject 515 Fundraiser

BACKTALK55 The NetworkBusiness Services Directory

56 LavenderMagazine.com CalendarPlan Your Fortnight

59 Classifi edsFind Some Classy Stuff

60 Community ConnectionGLBT-Friendly Nonprofi ts

61 DatelandAnatomy of a Bad Idea: Part III

61 CartoonTrolín

63 Consider the SourceStella Drama

64 Ms. BehaviorSock Puppet Campaign

66 Yellow Pages Advertiser IndexWhat’s Where This Issue

Photo Courtesy of Village Green

Mill District City Apartments

Contents | [ Minnesota's Gay-Lesbian-Bisexual-Transgender Magazine ]

Fall on Your knees!It’s time for fall color, and nothing is more colorful than a drag queen in a basement with a big mouth and a microphone! Tune into Wanda’s podcast for all sorts of random silliness! Simply click on over to http://wandawisdom.com!

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Get Your News in 12 Languages! Big Gay News now offers TWELVE foreign language newswires! You can get international GLBT news from hundreds of sources in twelve different languages. There is absolutely no other site offering this much relevant content. Visit http://biggaynews.com today!

Top HeadlinesPolice Detain Anti-Gay Protesters in MoscowRutgers University to Remember Tyler Clementi Michigan Asst. AG Targeting Gay Student Takes LeaveSenator Chambliss Aide Fired Over Anti-Gay Comment

This IssueISSUE 401

October 8, 2010National Coming

Out Day, Worship Guide

Next UpISSUE 402October 21, 2010FAB 50 Awards

Full Screen Lavender Digital Edition.LavenderMagazine.com

FLIPFOR THE FULL SCREEN LAVENDERDIGITAL EDITION

NATIONALCOMING

OUTDAY

YOUR CHANCE TO WINPRIZES EVERY ISSUE!

+ DIGITAL EXTRA: DINING GUIDE

Photo by Brian Roby

Photo by Paul Robertson

20

ROBBIE WILLIAMSIN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESSCDS

DAVID KOZHELLO TOMORROWCDS

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW – 35TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION”DVDS

THE REAL L WORDSEASON ONEDVDS

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EditorialEditor Emeritus Ethan Boatner 612-436-4670Editorial Director Sede Vacante 612-436-4671Editorial Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672Podmaster Bradley Traynor 612-436-4669Contributors Kolina Cicero, Meryl Cohn, Carla Continenza, Julie Dafydd, Heidi Fellner, Terrance Griep, Chris Homan, Ed Huyck, Justin Jones, Steve Lenius, Casey Merkwan, Jennifer Parello, Todd Park, Amber Schadewald, Elizabeth Stiras, Abigail Stoddard, John Townsend, Carla Waldemar

AdvertisingSales & Advertising Director Barry Leavitt 612-436-4690Senior Account Executive Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699Account Executive Jeff Newton 612-436-4675Advertising Associate George Holdgrafer 612-436-4672Sales & Advertising Traffi c Coordinator Linda Raines 612-436-4694Classifi eds Suzanne Farrell 612-436-4699National Sales Representative Rivendell Media212-242-6863

CreativeCreative Director Hubert Bonnet 612-436-4678Creative Assistant Mike Hnida 612-436-4679Photographer Sophia HantzesCartoonist RodroLavender Studios Hubert Bonnet, Mike Hnida

AdministrationPublisher Lavender Media, Inc.President & CEO Stephen Rocheford 612-436-4665Vice President & CC Pierre Tardif 612-436-4666Chief Financial Offi cer Carolyn Lima 612-436-4664Administrative Assistant Austin Lindstrom 612-436-4661Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen RochefordInspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee(1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford(1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010)

Volume 16, Issue 401 • October 8–20, 2010

Lavender Media Inc.3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407 LavenderYellowPages.com 612-436-4660 offi ce 877-515-9969 toll free612-436-4685 fax 612-436-4664 subscriptions612-436-4660 distribution612-436-4698 advertising

Entire contents copyright 2010. All rights reserved. Publication of the name or photograph of any person, organization, or business in this magazine does not refl ect upon one’s sexual orientation whatsoever. Lavender® Magazine reserves the right to refuse any advertising. This issue of Lavender® Magazine is available free of charge during the time period published on the cover. Pickup at one of our distribution sites is limited to one copy per person.

LavenderMagazine.com BigGayNews.com WandaWisdom.com

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be published. Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit let-ters to Lavender Magazine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <editor@lav-endermagazine.com>.

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I’m appalled by the fac-tionalism, hatred, adher-ence to party, and religious creed at any cost rampant in the country today.

Crusades seek to “bring America back to its Chris-tian roots”—when the “roots” were whatever gods

the autochthons embraced for 10,000 to 12,000 years before the Puritans arrived with scarlet letters, stakes, and smallpox.

The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness,” add-ing, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, prac-tice compassion.”

But how to counter folks like blogger Pamela Geller? Her unrelenting cry that President Barack Obama is both a Muslim extremist and the Antichrist has helped 24

percent of Americans believe that urban myth. While he states that he is not Muslim, she and millions of disciples work to cause dissention. I won’t comment on the overt racism in her rants, but she’d be hard put to stick that lie to an incumbent named “Sal-tonstall,” “Cabot,” or “Lodge.”

What of Delaware senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell’s mind-boggling asser-tion—on one of Bill Maher’s early Politically Incorrect episodes—that she would not lie, even in the case of hiding Anne Frank in her attic? “Really?” someone asked, “If Hitler was at the door, and you had Anne Frank in the attic, you wouldn’t lie?” “No,” O’Donnell replied, “God would fi nd a way.” God didn’t the fi rst time. And, would O’Donnell fi b if Frank were a good Christian up in her attic?

My words are inadequate to the task. Let me quote George Washington from his Fare-well Address published September 26, 1796:

“Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn man-ner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party generally. This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind….

“It agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms; kindles the animosity of one part against another; foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign infl uence and corruption, which fi nds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passion….

“The spirit of party is…a fi re not to be quenched. It demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a fl ame, lest, instead of warming, it should consume.”

Consider once more the Dalai Lama’s wisdom: “In the practice of tolerance, one’s enemy is the best teacher.”

Community Dialogue > A Word in Edgewise [ by E.B. Boatner ]

Hanging Together To Hang Us Separately

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Community Dialogue > Letters

Hat Off to JonesIncredibly, I wouldn’t say that I’m not a big reader, or very

open about what I’m experiencing emotionally, but after reading Justin Jones’s new “Through These Eyes” column [“The Once That Never Was,” Lavender, September 24], I can indeed say that he spoke on my behalf. His column has allowed me to actually to take a little time out of my busy day to really think about the jour-ney he describes in his writing. My hat is off to Jones. Bravo!DAMON MASON

Letters are subject to editing for grammar, punctuation, space, and libel. They should be no more than 300 words. Letters must include name, address, and phone number. Unsigned letters will not be pub-lished. Priority will be given to letters that refer to material previously published in Lavender Magazine. Submit letters to Lavender Maga-zine, Letters to the Editor, 3715 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407; or e-mail <editor@lavendermagazine.com>.

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MELANIE REXROAD recently was named Midwest Regional Senior Manager of the Family Equality Council, the nation’s largest organization representing GLBT parents raising children. She was a tutoring program manager for Bolder Options, a nonprofi t one-on-one youth mentoring program. She and her spouse, who have 3-year-old twins, moved to Minnesota because of the state’s second-parent adoption law.

Melanie Rexroad. Photo Courtesy of Family Equality Council

Community Dialogue > Queer As Folks

Rexroad Named Family Equality Council Midwest Regional Senior Manager

Gavin Creel (right) and Mary Mitchell Campbell. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

Pat Gleason. Photo Courtesy of Pat Gleason

Margaret Cho. Photo by Austin Young

ON SEPTEMBER 24, at The Woman’s Club of Minneapolis, Broadway Comes to Minnesota, a concert celebrating equality for all, featured Gavin Creel, accompanied by Mary Mitchell Campbell. He is an openly-gay twice-Tony-nominated actor, singer, and songwriter. The Human Rights Campaign Minnesota Political Action Committee and the OutFront Minnesota Action Political Action Committee presented the event.

Broadway Comes to Minnesota Concert Features Creel

PAT GLEASON recently affi liated with Residential Mortgage Group, a division of Alerus Financial, offering her customers more options and opportunities. She has been in the mortgage business for nearly 25 years. She handles all types of mort-gages for purchasing and refi nancing, including regular conven-tional, FHA, and VA. She has been working with the GLBT com-munity for 20 years.

Gleason Affiliates with Residental Mortgage Group, Division of Alerus Financial

ON OCTOBER 15, famed comedian Margaret Cho will bring The Cho Dependent Tour to the State Theatre, 805 Hennepin Avenue, Minneapolis. Special guest is John Roberts. She is best-known for her no-holds-barred stand-up routines. She has won awards for her support of GLBT rights. Buy tickets at <LIVENATION.com>. The offi cial After Party takes place at Tickles bar in Minneapolis.

The Cho Dependent Tour Coming to the State Theatre

[ by George Holdgrafer ]

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Mike Veeck, President of the St. Paul Saints, a minor league team seven miles away, wanted to do the same. But Saints Vice President Annie Huidekoper (pro-

nounced “hide-a-coper”) fi ercely was against the idea, believing the community needed a place to gather, and process the tragedy. He gave way to her persistence,

but expected the bridge catastrophe would lock down fans in their homes. He was wrong—big-time.

Veeck laughs as he recalls, “Fans showed up in droves that night, and proved what I genius I am! Annie showed what a righ-teous, opinionated, amazing woman she is. She’s been the heart and soul of this opera-tion since day one.”

Check the fi nancial publications, and you’ll see the number of female executives in America has been growing steadily for sev-eral years. But a high-profi le, high-powered female executive of a baseball team—and a gay one to boot—is far from customary.

That’s Huidekoper, a major reason

National Coming Out Day > Cover Feature

HUIDEKOPERST. PAUL SAINTS VICE PRESIDENT

SHARES HER STORY

During the evening rush hour on August 1, 2007, the I-35W Bridge over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis collapsed, killing 13 people and injuring 145 others. It was the buzz of the day across the world, but its effect dug far deeper in the psyche of the Twin Cities. The bridge was a main conduit to thousands of workplaces in Downtown Minneapolis, and its plunge into the river shocked millions of people. The region was in mourning. Events routinely were canceled, including the Minnesota Twins game that night.

[ by Abigail Stoddard ]

Annie

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why a puckish little minor league team, playing in the shadow of major league base-ball, can remain a long-term success for Veeck and his co-owners.

One of them, actor Bill Murray, remarks that Huidekoper’s passion for the Saints is uncommonly deep and unwavering. From hot dog vendor to power hitter to front-of-fi ce number cruncher, not a soul works hard-er and longer for the team than she does.

According to Murray “Annie is to the Saints what ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ was to the fi rst saints.”

Scooping up wayward food wrappers and trampled programs from the passageways of Midway Stadium, where the Saints play, Huidekoper makes clear that no task is too small for the team’s Vice President of Com-munity Partnerships and Customer Service.

Hustling corporate affi liations and sea-son tickets are serious business, but Hu-idekoper’s immutable smile speaks of the fun and, well, pranks that she and her col-leagues devise to keep fans coming.

Like the time they gave away a “bobble-foot” doll on National Tap Dance Night af-ter then-Senator Larry Craig of Idaho was arrested for soliciting sex in a bathroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. Or “Randy Moss Hood Ornament Night,” after the former Minnesota Vikings player was cited for bumping a female traffi c con-trol offi cer with his SUV.

The Saints’s enduring impishness bol-sters Huidekoper over a workday that stretches to 15 hours during baseball sea-son. But the 49-year-old New Canaan, Connecticut, native does have another life.

As Murray relates, “The only things An-nie Huidekoper loves more than baseball are smiling faces and Joanne Swanson.”

The partnership of Huidekoper and

Swanson, a hands-on healer, wasn’t always known to the rest of the Saints brass. Not all executives thought a woman had a place in a ball club’s front offi ce—let alone a lesbian.

The tension came to a head in 1993, six months after Huidekoper started work for the team. The March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Lib-eration was gathering that April. In most workplaces, taking a weekend vacation is quite easy, but a weekend off in the Saints opening season was near-treason. Huideko-per and Swanson went, anyway—AWOL.

Huidekoper’s lifestyle never had been talked about directly, in part because the then-General Manager would not have approved. However, upon Huidekoper’s return from Washington, Veeck cleared the air of all ambi-guity—a watershed moment in her career.

Huidekoper recounts, “We were at a meeting with the General Manager when he [Veeck] took a deep breath, and said with a big grin, ‘So, Annie, how was the March on Washington?’ The General Manager was white as a sheet.”

But this unoffi cial outing went well other-wise, and Huidekoper decidedly was relieved. Now, people in the organization don’t care if her freak fl ag fl ies one way or another.

Huidekoper’s love affair with baseball began at an early age. Among the most cherished photos in her offi ce desk is the image of her as a smiling 8-year-old in full baseball regalia—a fl annel pinstriped uni-form, tall white socks, and orange stirrups, with a blue plastic Mets helmet on top of a Red Sox ball cap.

Huidekoper explains proudly, “My fa-ther was a Little League coach, and I was his batgirl for seven years. I kept a very or-derly lineup of bats, tucked into our side of the backstop, mostly at the Mead Park fi eld

in New Canaan.”Fast-forward many years: Huidekoper’s re-

lationship with her father has changed quite a bit, as has that with her mother. He lives with Parkinson’s disease, and she with dementia.

Huidekoper, who fl ies to the East Coast frequently to be with them, states, “My highest purpose for my family is to help my parents who are struggling.”

Back in St. Paul, Huidekoper’s highest purpose is to win approval for a ballpark that would be shared by the Saints and amateur baseball at several levels. They seek partial state funding of a small, well-landscaped facility in a quaint area of Downtown St. Paul. She is at the center of the quest, per-petually raising interest among the folks she knows best: the fans.

State Senator Ellen Anderson, sponsor of the ballpark legislation, points out, “Annie is the person who lives and breathes the fans.”

That closeness eventually will reverber-ate in the State Capitol, leading to enact-ment of the bill, the lawmaker predicts.

A lot has changed in the 41 years since her sister, Beppie, snapped the photo of the beaming batgirl.

As Huidekoper puts it, “Organizations evolve, and people fi nd their niches and spe-cial talents. Our fi rst year, 1993, was magical. A local columnist was saying, ‘You guys will fold by July 4th.’ But it’s like that Margaret Mead quote: ‘A small group of thoughtful people could change the world.’”

“I remember crying my eyes out in the stands after the team won the Northern League championship. I knew I just had a peak-life experience—like a great love af-fair. In our little world, we had come to-gether and worked hard despite our dif-ferences. We’re still here, swinging for the fences.”

Bill Murray (left) and Annie Huidekoper.Photos Courtesy of Annie Huidekoper

> Cover Feature

8-year-old Annie Huidekoper in full baseball regalia.

Annie Huidekoper is the heart and soul of the St. Paul Saints.

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As Patty Keegan says, “His support of the GLBT community started decades ago when we had a second location near Loring Park.”

A quarter-century ago, under Jack Kee-gan’s aegis, Jakeeno’s was one of the fi rst lo-cal food establishments to advertise in the fl edgling gay press—such as Tim Camp-bell’s GLC Voice Newspaper.

Patty Keegan recalls, “It was great grow-ing up in the pizza business. Both of my sis-ters and I worked for our Dad at some point from junior high on. It gave us exposure to many different kinds of people, and taught us respect and tolerance.”

Even as her father was marketing Ja-keeno’s to the GLBT community, Keegan began to sense that her sexual orientation was unlike that of her peers.

In Keegan’s words, “I had always known I was different from my friends, but wasn’t ready to accept and live it until about four years ago.”

After a number of years of keeping her secret, Keegan fi nally came out in a unique way while on vacation thanks to a Jakee-no’s patron.

Keegan relates, “I had rented a condo in Mexico from a customer, and went by myself for a week. I was reading a ‘dirty’ book on the beach, when a woman I had become acquainted with asked what it was. I told her it was naughty, and she hounded me until I showed it to her…to which she exclaimed, ‘I knew it!’

“Turned out she and her partner had also rented a condo from my customer, and lived only a few blocks from my house in Minne-apolis. We began a friendship that continued after we got home. They shared their sto-ries, and encouraged me to fully accept who I was, and to want to live my life that way.

“I will always be grateful for their com-ing into my life when they did. They were my ‘sign’ I was looking for. After that, I joined a dating service, and began my search to fi nd someone to share my life with.”

Keegan’s family has been accepting of her coming out.

As Keegan explains, “My family has been supportive. I think Dad accepted it much easier than Mom, just because he has been exposed to gay people much more

than she has.“Everyone was surprised, which at times

cracks me up, because as I look back, there were so many obvious signs that even I say, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t see myself as gay!’

“They do worry—they don’t want things to be hard for me. But they’ve accepted and included my girlfriend in our lives. They have all said that they just want me to be happy. That is the most important thing!”

Today, Jack Keegan is retired from Jakee-no’s, although he helps out frequently, espe-cially at the lunch rush, and his daughter notes, “I am now co-owner and sole operator, as my sister, Amy, has left the daily operations.”

Regarding her being open about her sexual orientation, Patty Keegan ob-serves, “I don’t know how much my be-ing gay has affected our business either positively or negatively. I’m sure there are people on both sides that will either sup-port us more because I am, or reject us now that they know.”

What else would Keegan tell Lavender readers, particularly those who have not de-cided to live openly yet?

As Keegan remarks, “Contrary to what some of my employees might say, I am not one to give advice. But each person will know when it is their time to live an openly gay life. You have to be comfortable with who you are, and not be worried about what everyone else might think. I do wish I had fi gured things out earlier in life. I wasted a lot of time not being ready, but in the end, the life I’m living and the woman in it were worth the wait.”

> National Coming Out Day

JAKEENO’S PROPRIETOR RELATES HER EXPERIENCE

Patty Keegan grew up in a family business that was GLBT-friendly. In 1975, her father, Jack Keegan, opened Jakeeno’s, an Italian restaurant, at 3555 Chicago Avenue South, Minneapolis. In the 1980s, he operated a branch at West 15th Street and La-Salle Avenue, Minneapolis, which closed after a few years. As well, Jakeeno’s Trattoria is now up the street from the original in the Midtown Global Market at 920 East Lake Street, Minneapolis.

[ by George Holdgrafer ]

KEEGANPatty

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For many of us, coming out at work is that point in time when we say to ourselves, “I’m going to stop living my life worrying about what others may think. I have paid my dues, and I deserve to be the real me!” Or perhaps we say, “I need to see where this takes me. I need to live out what I know to be true about myself, and I refuse to hide my truth any longer.”

No matter what our situation may be, it’s true that coming out at work can happen in any number of different and unique ways. Some take a few baby steps and test the waters before reaching that point where hiding who they are is no longer an option for them. Others simply drop the bomb and let it all hang out in one fl ashpoint of personal revelation.

I humbly would submit that coming out at work can be a major life achievement. It’s a legitimate act of pride demonstrating hon-esty and integrity about one’s core orientation and/or identity. A courageous step like that deserves admiration and respect.

Let’s consider it logically: For most of us, going to work every day is a big part of our lives.

Why should anyone be forced to live a lie and/or deny the truth of who he or she is for a large portion of each day? Why should a person be required to hide something that’s intrinsic to his or her very being?

After all, sexual orientation or gender identity isn’t some minor personality quirk. It informs everything about us, including how we operate in the world. No one should have to sacrifi ce self-esteem or personal identity to be successful at a job or to gain access to workplace opportunities. Coming out allows us to live truthfully, to share our best selves with our coworkers, and to stop wasting a boatload of psychic energy on obfuscation and/or deception.

It’s important to recognize that while coming out at work poten-tially may ruffl e the feathers of a few disapproving souls, you aren’t here to make everyone comfortable at your own expense. None of us are in this world solely to live up to someone else’s expectations.

Coming out is about no longer pretending you aren’t GLBT just to placate someone else’s tender sensibilities.

After all, what about your personal comfort level? What about your feelings, needs, and sensibilities—don’t they matter just as much as anyone else’s? Where do someone else’s rights to be com-fortable end, and where do yours begin? Why should you continue to deny or hide your true self because of what someone else might think or say about you?

Besides, at some point, we all have to think about our own peace of mind. Coming out with integrity can permit GLBT people to do just that.

Of course, the other side of the coming-out coin involves certain risks of which we should be aware before making such an important decision. Consider this: Once you have come out, you cannot go back in the closet. People will know about you, and they are not going to forget. The door will have been opened, and you can’t shut it again.

Coming-out hazards also may involve experiencing discrimi-nation, bigotry, and intolerance from others. While increasing numbers of workplaces are adopting transgender nondiscrimina-tion policies, it is possible that harassment, gossip, hurtful jokes, unseemly comments, and exclusion still may occur.

Unfortunately, coming out on the job even may precipitate con-frontations, physical attacks, or property damage. Though regret-table, such things have been known to happen. It is best to be aware and be prepared for possible hostile reactions. Try to avoid poten-tial situations in which physical altercations might occur. That’s not being cowardly—it’s being intelligent and safe.

If you feel that physical attacks may be a possibility in your workplace, be prudent, discretionary, strategic, and smart. You may be the bravest person in the world, but that won’t help you much if you’re lying in a hospital or the morgue.

Despite these potentially diffi cult and occasionally dangerous scenarios, it’s encouraging to note that more and more people are coming out on the job every day—and they’re doing so for some extremely valid purposes.

People seem to have two primary reasons for taking the impor-tant step of coming out at work.

> National Coming Out Day

[ by Vanessa Sheridan ]

COMINGOUT AT WORK

A DEMONSTRATION OF PRIDE

Some people have referred to coming out on the job as taking a great leap of faith. I think it’s an exceptional demonstration of both courage and common sense.

The fi rst reason is personal: You will be a better, happier, more productive, and health-ier individual and employee if and/or when you are able to live your life openly and with-out fear of discovery. Anxiety about potential blackmail at work will cease to be an issue. You no longer will need to hide or pretend. You will have an inner peace and new oppor-tunities to live a richer, more satisfying life on the job. You will be free to do your work and make your best contributions in a way that demonstrates wholeness and truth.

A remarkable liberation of the spirit takes place whenever someone comes out, and begins to live life as a complete human being. Coming out will enable you honestly to be the person that you want and need to be in your workplace. You will be liberated to be who you truly are, not who others may think you are or should be.

A second reason for coming out on the job is that you will enrich not only your own life, but also the life of your organiza-tion and those around you. Openness about your personal status can lead to strengthened relation-ships and greater trust among friends and coworkers. People will have a fi rst-hand opportu-nity to witness your integrity in action.

By coming out, you will gift others with

an opportunity to learn, to become more aware, to have their boundaries stretched, and to have the experience of working with someone who may be ‘‘different,’’ but who is equally valid in terms of his or her human worth and professional abilities. Whenever we come out on the job, we actually are ne-gotiating our own visibility and viability as an employee and a human being.

So, here we are. Out. Out at last! We are out in remarkable numbers, with more of us coming out all the time. Never be-fore in history has society’s awareness of the GLBT community been greater than it is right now, but far too often, the pub-lic’s perceptions of us are fl awed and mis-informed.

Considering just how many of us there are, and we are many millions strong: Why is it that only a relative handful of us en-thusiastically are involved in trying to make things better for all of us? Why is it that only a small percentage of us actively work to correct the horrible, negative, and inac-

curate perceptions of our people—which tend to hang on like

leeches, and refuse to fade into well-deserved obscu-

rity? How can we, indi-vidually and collectively,

begin to educate and demonstrate that we are not the bathroom predators, invaders, and sex monsters some fervently por-tray us to be?

Increasingly, laws are being passed that

give GLBT persons certain protections and accommodations. Antidiscrimination statutes are being adopted locally and state-wide around the nation. However, laws alone will not alter how we are seen and thought of by the public. A positive public opinion is the key to successful, widespread acceptance by the larger society.

So, what can we do to begin changing the erroneous perceptions of the general public once and for all?

One thing is to stand up for ourselves with dignity at work or wherever we may be.

Margaret Wheatley writes, “What hap-pens when we claim our right to be fully human? Everyone benefi ts. Even those who feel superior, who demean and discount us, benefi t when we claim our full humanity. When we refuse to accept degrading condi-tions and behaviors, those in power no lon-ger have a target for their oppressive acts.”

Coming out at work uniquely can dem-onstrate the intrinsic value of human differ-ence in making organizations more success-ful. People who remain in the closet cannot be fully honest about who they are, nor can they share openly about the important aspects of their personal life. Such sharing is signifi cant, for these human interactions can create connections, and bring a team together, helping it to function effectively during stressful, demanding moments.

In the end, the decision to come out at work is a highly personal one. Most people who have made that choice do not regret it, and wish they had done it sooner. Almost all of them feel an enhanced sense of satisfaction. Let’s hope each of us one day will experience that kind of pride in ourselves and in our remarkable GLBT community.

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The handsome complex rising at 225 Portland Avenue, Minneapolis—across from the Guthrie Theater, and overlooking Downtown and the Mississippi River—is the fi fth

project in the Twin Cities to be brought to fruition by Village Green, provider of qual-

ity rental units since 1919.Speaking at the groundbreaking for this

$25 million endeavor in October 2009, Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak said, “Un-der some of the most challenging economic situations, many people came together, and put the extra effort in to make this project a

reality. The perseverance of our city’s eco-nomic development staff, local leaders like US Bank, and the incredible team at Vil-lage Green are showing that Minneapolis is open for business, and that great things are happening in our city even during these dif-fi cult economic times.”

Home & Yard Boulevard | [ by E.B. Boatner ]

MILL DISTRICT CITY APARTMENTS: “MORE LIKE AN URBAN RESORT”"LIFESTYLE FOR RENT"

Photos Courtesy of Village Green

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Recently, Village Green CEO and Chairman Jonathan Holtzman discussed the development of Mill District City Apartments with Lavender.

Holtzman recounted, “Village Green has been in Minneapolis since 1995. We have chosen Minneapolis, because people have consistently thought that Minneapo-lis represents an excellent lifestyle with an excellent quality of companies, a positive political environment, as well as a commit-ment to housing for people living in Min-neapolis-St. Paul.”

Village Green’s four previous Minneap-olis projects are Eitel Building City Apart-ments, Lake Calhoun City Apartments, Loring Park City Apartments, and Uptown City Apartments.

Holtzman explained that Village Green’s latest project is “based on the knowledge and experience gained from [these] four communities, responding to renters living at our other apartment communities, as well as to the companies that we do busi-ness with for corporate relocation and furnished apartments. Mill District City Apartments represents the taste and style of fi nishes incorporated into a green build-ing meeting the standards developed by the National Association of Home Builders [NAHB] and the National Multi-Housing Council [NMHC], equivalent to Leader-ship in Energy and Environmental Design [LEED] standards.”

Asked about the rationale behind cre-ating apartment complexes, rather than buyer-owned condo or town house com-munities, Holtzman replied, “Regardless of single-family homes going up or down in value, renters will rent for a period of time before they decide to purchase a home or condominium. There is actually an increas-ing demand for apartment rental. Minneap-olis-St. Paul companies hire young people out of college who will rent before they buy, as will renters relocating to Minneapolis, divorced individuals before they buy again, and empty-nesters downsizing from a house or condominium to a rental apartment. We have seen a very clear trend towards urban, modern, brand-new, and green.”

That rental trend is being made a real-ity in the 175 furnished/unfurnished units in Mill City District Apartments, which include a dazzling array of amenities for the renter (including fl exible lease terms). Surrounding a 14,000-square-foot private, professionally-landscaped park, the studio to three-bedroom and penthouse options offer 30 fl oor plans from 500 to 1,400 square feet. Units boast 9- to 18-foot ceil-ings; white or cherry fi nish cabinets; granite islands in kitchens; fi replaces; built-in wine racks; “sexy” (according to the literature) bathrooms; private entries with walkout pa-tios; bay windows; custom walk-in closets; and three balcony choices.

Should you ever wish to leave your new digs, you can venture out to meet neighbors at the indoor/outdoor movie theater, lounge with your electronic toys near wireless hot spots, or shop at the onsite 3,500-square-foot specialty market.

By locating Mill District City Apart-ments within walking distance of the Mis-sissippi River, culture, shopping, art, enter-tainment, and work, Village Green is able to provide residents with, as the literature puts it, “the energy of a city together with the serenity of the building’s private park”—a heady mix not offered to any other local complex.

But Mill City District City Apartments, like Village Green’s previous projects, brings more to the city than the luxury and security it provides its residents.

Holtzman stressed, “Real estate is a ma-jor employer of architects, engineers, sup-pliers, subcontractors, manufacturers, and employees. Each one of Village Green’s apartment communities is a major con-tributor to the economic benefi t of the city, i.e., real estate taxes, plus [residents] living Downtown spend money in the neighbor-hood, and utilize mass transit to attend cul-tural and sporting events.”

Not confi ned to Minneapolis, or even to Minnesota, developer Village Green has been an owner/operator of apartment com-munities—40,000 apartments in 140 rental communities in 13 states—for 91 years.

Holtzman stated, “We believe this is an

excellent business offering an alternative to ownership to our growing customer base of individuals and companies. Rental apart-ments at Village Green are a ‘Lifestyle for Rent,’ offering fl exibility, amenities, and services that are not enjoyed with home ownership. When an individual decides they want to be an owner and no longer a renter, Village Green assists by utilizing some of their rent towards the purchase of a home or a condominium.”

Village Green operates its communities under fi ve distinct brands: Village Green, City Apartments, Regents Park, Village Park, and Leading Furnished Suites.

According to Holtzman, “We compare our brands to Porsche, Ralph Lauren, W Hotels, and Apple, because consumers—our renters—are looking for a brand that appeals to their lifestyle. Each Village Green brand is designed for what they perceive for differ-ent customers. The suburban communities that Village Green owns and operates are different than our urban communities. Vil-lage Green has communities that are reason-ably priced, and also has communities priced as a luxury brand. As a rental owner/opera-tor, we are trying to serve as many custom-ers as we can in our various markets. If we succeed with location, quality, resort-class amenities, timesaving services, and a green building, this creates a successful apartment community for Village Green, the City of Minneapolis, and for our residents.”

Holtzman noted with pride, “Village Green professionals have been with our company for many years, and are, there-fore, integral to our philosophy of creat-ing a ‘Lifestyle for Rent’ at our apartment communities. Village Green believes in its philosophy to be part of the community, from Mayor Rybak to Council Member Lisa Goodman and all the various departments in the City of Minneapolis, as well as the local neighborhood and business groups. We do not see ourselves as an ‘out-of-town’ owner/operator, but part of the local community.”

First occupancy is scheduled for this fall, with completion in early 2011.

For more information, visit <www.villagegreen.com>.

SHOULD YOU EVER WISH TO LEAVE YOUR NEW DIGS, YOU CAN VENTURE OUT TO MEET NEIGHBORS AT THE INDOOR/OUTDOOR MOVIE THEATER, LOUNGE WITH YOUR ELECTRONIC TOYS NEAR WIRELESS HOT SPOTS, OR SHOP AT THE

ONSITE 3,500-SQUARE-FOOT SPECIALTY MARKET.

> Mill District City Apartments

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FEDERAL JUDGE ORDERS MILITARY TO REINSTATE GAY NURSE

US District Judge Ronald B. Leighton ruled that an Air Force nurse, Reserve Major Margaret Witt, who was discharged under the military’s ban on openly gay ser-vice members, should be “reinstated at the earliest possible moment.” In his 15-page opinion, he stated that she “was an effec-tive leader…and an integral member of an effective team. Her loss within the squad-ron resulted in a diminution of the unit’s ability to carry out its mission.”

TELEVANGELIST SAYS HE’LL FIGHT SEX ALLEGATIONS

CNN reports Baptist televangelist Ed-die Long, accused of coercing at least four teenage male church members into having sex with him, announced from his pulpit in Georgia that he will fi ght the allega-tions in court. He said, “I am not the man that has been portrayed on television.” He faces four civil lawsuits that claim he used his status as Pastor of New Birth Mission-ary Baptist Church to force the teenagers into sexual relationships with him.

19 PERCENT OF GAY, BISEXUAL MEN IN US CITIES HAVE HIV

According to a new study by the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention, nearly 20 percent of gay and bisexual men in 21 major US cities are in-fected with HIV, but almost half of them don’t know it. The researchers also found that the lower a man’s socioeconomic status, the more likely he is to have HIV. CDC recommends that all men who have sex with men get tested for HIV each year, and those who have multiple sex partners or use drugs during sex get tested every three to six months.

[ Written & Compiled by Bradley Traynor ]

Big Gay News >

NATIONAL

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Someone once told a colleague of mine that he stopped listen-ing to my Big Gay News podcast because the stories were always so depressing. I wondered if per-

haps he had unrealistic expectations of the word “gay.” Still, I understand his reaction. Clearly, regardless of all the progress over the last generation, the world is still a pretty grim, unwelcome place for GLBT people.

I’m reminded of this fact every morn-ing, as I scour the Internet looking for the day’s top stories. Headlines like “Attack-ers Sought in Beating of Gay Man,” “Man Charged in Murder of Transgender Wom-an,” and “Gay Activist Found Beheaded” are the norm. If it’s not a physical assault, it’s often a political or religious one. To say I’ve become somewhat numb over the past few years is an uncomfortably true under-statement. I’d like to believe it’s partially an act of self-preservation.

Thankfully, I haven’t become a wholly unfeeling news-gathering automaton yet. Often, a story sneaks through my wall of detachment—usually one that’s local, or hits home in some other way. Such is frequently the case with stories of antigay bullying, probably because I, like many, was once the victim of it, and struggled for much of my adolescence with being gay.

It’s no surprise, then, that I paid particu-lar attention to the story of Justin Aaberg, the 15-year-old gay Anoka High School student who took his own life after an in-ternal struggle with his sexual orientation, made worse by the bullying of his peers. Unlike many, he had been able to come out to his mother and friends. He even had a boyfriend for a time. Still, the bullying and the pain were so great that he felt his only

News & Politics > Behaving Bradley

RememberingJustin Aaberg

[ by Bradley Traynor ]

Tammy Aaberg (right) and her son, Andrew Aaberg, remember her son and his brother, Justin Aaberg, at a press conference on September 27 in front of the Anoka-Hennepin School District Educational Service Center. Photo by Sophia Hantzes

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solution was to take his own life.Beyond my heartfelt sadness over this

untimely death and the frustration that antigay bullying persists, one thing kept me thinking about this particular tragedy. Shortly after her son’s death, his mother, Tammy Aaberg, testifi ed before the Ano-ka-Hennepin School Board. During her testimony, she called on the school district to address antigay bullying better. In the process, she highlighted its policy toward sexual orientation.

I found this policy particularly trou-bling when I read it: “Teaching about sex-ual orientation is not a part of the District adopted curriculum; rather, such matters are best addressed within individual fam-ily homes, churches, or community orga-nizations. Anoka-Hennepin staff, in the course of their professional duties, shall remain neutral on matters regarding sexu-al orientation including but not limited to student-led discussions. If and when staff address sexual orientation, it is important that staff do so in a respectful manner that is age-appropriate, factual, and pertinent to the relevant curriculum.”

The district argues that this “neutral” policy attempts to respect the diversity of opinion regarding sexual orientation. Crit-ics like Aaberg counter that it unnecessarily prevents teachers from helping gay students. The district states that its antibullying poli-cies specifi cally require teachers to address it, even if it’s directed at a student because of perceived sexual orientation.

Quite frankly, the district’s approach appears vague, contradictory, and ulti-mately harmful. What message does it send to a young student struggling with being gay? “Our attitude toward your very existence is neutral.” Teachers can’t talk about the issue until it escalates to the point of bullying, and even then, no clear guidance is give on how to discuss the topic. That seems like the least-effective possible approach.

Thankfully, the grief caused by Justin Aaberg’s death is being turned into action. A group of parents, students, and teachers actively is lobbying the district to change its policies.

If only school districts like Anoka-Hennepin acknowledged the presence of GLBT students, and provided support for them, then perhaps some day I’d be able to include more stories in each day’s Big Gay News about the achievements of our community, rather than its tragedies.

And for that guy who stopped listen-ing, I gladly would change the name to Big Happy News.

Marsha Norman often is regarded as America’s greatest living woman play-wright, but she’s also one of the greatest living American dramatists of either gen-der. Her work stands toe to toe with male greats like Tony Kushner, David Mamet, and Sam Shepard.

Norman won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama for Night Mother in 1983, the same year Alice Walker won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction for The Color Purple. In 2006, Nor-man was nominated for the Tony Award for her book for The Color Purple’s musical stage version. She won the Tony for Best Book for a Musical for The Secret Garden in 1991.

For the Guthrie Theater, Norman has adapted Minnesotan Louise Erdrich’s be-loved novel The Master Butchers Singing Club into what may be the playwright’s master-

piece, as well as a rival to Thornton Wilder’s Our Town for “The Great American Play.” Under Francesca Zambello’s direction, it enthralls as a towering production.

Erdrich birthed a tapestry of themes in her novel that Norman has woven into dra-matic form. One major thread is how het-ero protagonist Delphine (Emily Gunyou Halaas) and Cyprian (Charlie Brady), a gay man, struggle with their long-term com-mitment to each other.

I interviewed Norman before I saw the show, but I can vouch, now having seen it, that the piece is not only a fair depiction, but also an utterly-breakthrough depiction of a straight person thwarted by a partner who cannot integrate his gay orientation fully into his life. Of course, given that the play is set between World Wars I and II, that

> Arts & Entertainment

[ by John Townsend ]

PLAYWRIGHT DISCUSSES GAY CURRENTS IN HER

THE MASTER BUTCHERS SINGING CLUB

Interview with Marsha Norman

Katie Guentzel as Eva and Emily Gunyou Halaas as Delphine in the Guthrie Theater production of The Master Butchers Singing Club. Photo by Michal Daniel

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Photo Courtesy of Guthrie Theater

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lack of integration is understandable.This Guthrie-created new work is su-

perior to last year’s Guthrie-generated The Intelligent Homosexual’s Guide by another Pulitzer- and Tony-winner, Kushner. And the new play’s gay aspect arguably is every bit as compelling.

Moreover, Brady and Halaas are simply endearing. Plus, the make-out scene be-tween Brady and John Catron, both hand-some devils, seems every bit as transgressive as what we saw in Kushner’s work last year.

The Master Butchers Singing Club should go to Broadway. It’s even better than the gripping The Scottsboro Boys, which the Guthrie will be sending there.

I spoke with Norman about the gay currents in her new play, as well as gender issues.

Tell me about Cyprian.He’s gay. He’s Ojibwe. He’s an acrobat.

And Delphine has run off with him. She’s the daughter of the town drunk. She’s run off with him after high school just to get away from her father, and they toured Manitoba doing their tricks. He’s really quite a balancing expert. And that comes to mean, in this world, balancing this pre-tend life of, OK, I’m with this woman. I’m passing for straight.

But actually, we learn early in the play that some nights, he doesn’t come back to the hotel. And we deal with him very openly really fast—with the fact that he meets men on park benches, and this is something that he needs, and this is some-thing that is central to him. And Delphine agrees to begin to know about that.

One of the things I realized is that we needed to know that right off the bat. It’s the mid-1930s when we meet them. We need to see that he’s having to balance what the world will accept at that time and what the world will make diffi cult for him. So, he has this companion woman, Delphine, to whom he pretends to be married.

Does this take a toll on her?There’s a line that says: “So, she forgave

him his lack of sexual heat, and decided that his desperate need for her was enough.”

She’s not had any experience with sex or love—either one, I think—having grown up taking care of the drunk father. Cyprian’s the guy that wants to be with her. So, she’s made her sacrifi ces, and she deals with them as the play proceeds.

But his love is true, and so is his need for men. And they ultimately have a conversa-tion where she says, “If you love me, then

> Marsha Norman

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why do you do what you do with men?” He fi nally explains, “The feeling that most men have for women, I have for men.” She asks him if it started in the war [World War I], and he says, “Yes, I loved a man in the war, but I’ve always been like this.”

You have a great feminist following, but I have always felt you have a deep and complex understanding of men.

I think I work extra-hard presenting men, because I feel like certainly I’m writ-ing outside my experience. And I think that anytime you write outside your experience, whether it’s The Color Purple or the world of men, you have to ask them, talk to them, so that you get them as they recognize themselves, not as they’re seen from afar.

The languages that men and women speak are really very different. You’ll really hear that in this play. The things that men and women perceive to be problems are quite different. The solutions that men and women are looking for are quite different.

I mean, those things really interest me as a human on the planet—that work Car-ol Gilligan did when she tested men and women for meanings of words, where she asked, “What does ‘tender’ mean?” Wom-en would go, like, baby imagery. And men would go, like, “Oh, God! I hit my knee. Or, where that guy kicked me, it’s tender.” That’s really a profound difference in lan-guage and a sense of what is.

I am fi ercely feminist in terms of mak-ing sure that the place of women is repre-sented equally on the stages of America. Last year, only 13 percent of the plays presented in America were written by women. Even though 70 percent of tick-ets are bought by women, theaters by and large don’t assume that the audience wants plays by or about women. In fact, plays about women are the most successful.

Of all the awards presented last year in the New York world, even though there were 51 productions written by women, there was only one nominated in the writ-ing. So, a group of us got together, and gave our own award ceremony, the Lilly Award. The Lillian Hellman estate gave us the name so fast, we didn’t even have to fi nish the sentence. But this is something that really needs to be worked on.

The Master Butchers Singing ClubThrough Nov. 6Guthrie Theater818 2nd St. S., Mpls.(612) 377-2224<www.guthrietheater.org>

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Arts & Entertainment > On the Townsend [ by John Townsend ]

SLEEP DEPRIVATION CHAMBERThrough Oct. 10

Penumbra Theatre270 N. Kent St., St. Paul

(651) 224-3180<www.penumbratheatre.org>

Urvashi Vaid writes of “virtual equality” as the illusion of equality for queer folks. Playwrights Adam and Adrienne Kennedy show the racial equivalent in this force-ful true-life drama. Lucas Bellamy gives a bravely vulnerable performance as Teddy, a racially-profi led teen of color brutalized by police. Indira Addington as Suzanne, his mother, captures the incredulity of a wom-an who wrongly thought her middle-class status would shield her family from racism. In an enthralling court scene, a searing Ste-phen Cartmell as Teddy’s lawyer deliciously exposes an abusive cop ominously portrayed by Carl Atiya Swanson.

THE GLASS MENAGERIEThrough Oct. 17Jungle Theater

2900 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls.(612) 822-7063

<www.jungletheater.com>

Director Bain Boehlke’s exquisite reviv-al of gay playwright Tennessee Williams’s

early masterwork uncannily and electri-cally charges the way economic collapse rigidifi es gender roles. As poverty seeps into the already-unstable Wingfi eld family, matriarch Amanda (Wendy Lehr) retreats into romantic illusions about “gentleman callers” of her youth, while unreason-ably pressuring her shy disabled daughter, Laura (Alayne Hopkins), to snare a hus-band. Amanda’s son, Tom (Joshua James Campbell), is expected to be an unthinking provider whose dreams are deemed folly in his mother’s emasculating eyes. Superb Michael Booth sports a callous edge as Jim, Tom’s coworker. Though he rushes his nar-ration at start and end, Campbell’s is the best Tom I’ve seen since Jeffrey Alan Chan-dler’s Guthrie turn 31 years ago—and I’ve seen many such Toms.

THE GREAT GAME: AFGHANISTANThrough Oct. 17Guthrie Theater

818 S. 2nd St., Mpls.(612) 377-2224

<www.guthrietheater.org>

London’s Tricycle Theatre tours its ac-claimed epic marathon of Afghanistan’s tur-

bulent history since 1842 for the Guthrie’s WorldStage series. It’s performed in sections consisting of short plays. Part I refl ects British rivalry with Russia, from which the term “Great Game” derives. Part II ad-dresses connections between Communism and the Taliban. Part III portrays American involvement in the current quagmire. For those who still keep claiming wrongly that the Guthrie plays it safe, here’s more evi-dence to the contrary.

VIGILThrough Oct. 17

Pillsbury House Theatre3502 Chicago Ave. S., Mpls.

(612) 825-0459<www.pillsburyhousetheatre.org>

Actress Shirley Venard’s tragicomic ge-nius sublimely radiates as an elderly woman whose nephew raids her home to rip her off. With very little dialogue, she registers an epic range of emotions totally germane to Mor-ris Panych’s delightfully quirky script. Steve Hendrickson as nephew Kemp is hilariously manic. One wonders if he’s so uptight because he can’t face his queer side. Stephen DiMen-na directs with rich wit and depth.

The Glass Menagerie. Photo by Michal Daniel

Vigil. Photo by Michal Daniel

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DUDLEY: RIGGED FOR LAUGHTERThrough Oct. 23History Theatre

30 E. 10th St., St. Paul(651) 292-4323

<www.historytheatre.com>

When Dudley Riggs founded Brave New Workshop (BNW) Comedy The-atre in 1958 (pre-Guthrie), roughly six local theaters existed. The troupe was controversial for its aggressive political satire, which paved the way for gay and political theater that came to thrive in the Twin Cities.

Dane Stauffer, gay cowriter of the new play about Riggs’s life, reminds us that he was “fi ercely devoted to mocking the outra-geous, railing at injustice, going against the grain, and mining it all for laughter. The police almost shut him down, because they thought his cappuccino maker—the fi rst one west of the Mississippi—was a still!”

ROCK OF AGESOct. 19-24

Orpheum Theatre910 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.

(800) 982-2787<www.HennepinTheatreTrust.org>

Tony-nominated for Best Musical, this 1980s rock smash has beaten the odds.

Producer Janet Billig Rich relates, “This period of music isn’t given the re-spect that other times get, maybe because it’s hard to take a guy in spandex with huge hair seriously. But from the very begin-ning, when the audience sees it, they go crazy. Book writer Chris D’Arienzo turns these songs on their head. We’ve always stayed really authentic to the rock, [but] we’ve never gotten cheesy. Our players have always played it real, so I think that’s why it connects.”

Rock of Ages. Photo by Joan Marcus

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Gender Outlaws: The Next GenerationKATE BORNSTEIN AND S. BEAR BERGMANSEAL PRESS$16.95

Arts & Entertainment > The Page Boy [ by E.B. Boatner ]

A generation ago, author, play-wright, and performance artist Kate Bornstein’s groundbreaking Gender Outlaws gave voice to peo-ple whose gender and attitudes had not before found a venue for expression. Now, 15 years later, trans is not unknown, but it and genderqueer continue to prolifer-ate, pushing the boundaries of perceived cultural, social, and sexual “norms.” These 50 pieces include an “Introduction,” “Inter-lude,” and “Epilogue” by Born-stein and Bergman. The contents range freely and untrammeled through cartoons (“transcension,” by Katie Diamond and Johnny Blazes); essays (“The Manly Art of Pregnancy,” by j wallace); and biography (“Glitter, Glitter, on the Wall, Who’s the Queerest of Them All?,” by local academic and performer Esmé Rodríguez, AKA T. Kupin-Escobar). In short, something will amuse, shock, titillate, please, and instruct any passing reader. As original gender outlaw Bornstein sees it, “People are STARTING from further that I got to when I’d fi nished writing Gender Outlaw. That’s EXACTLY what I hoped to live to see.”

Author Tina Fakhrid-Deen is the fi rst to acknowledge the vital input of her participants, voices from individuals ages 8 to 36. Her “coauthor” is COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere), a national “move-ment of children, youth, and adults with one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer (LGBTQ) parent(s).” This book is a marvelous tool for any-one—especially children (between 10 and 14 million of them are estimated)—who have at least one gay parent. Fakhrid-Deen herself was such a child. This book has been aimed at ages 10 and up, written throughout at a fourth- or fi fth-grade level, though by no means talking down or conde-scending to the adult reader. Parents are warned that the topics are complex and real. While is-sues may make LGBTQ adults uncomfortable, they are ones that parents will face with their kids: coming out to them, school bully-ing, couple breakups, and dealing daily with “being different.” It’s a gutsy, important, useful book.

Rita Farmer is on the hunt again with her three favorite men: Dan-iel, her gay best friend; George Rowe, her PI boyfriend; and Petey, her 6-year-old son. From an innocuous read-through of a bad script in LA’s Griffi th Park, she fi nds herself on a frantic hunt through fl ooded wilderness in Washington State, searching for her sister, Gina, and her boy-friend, lost on location for the fi lm of said script. Like even bad scripts, life can get complicated. Gina’s boyfriend, Lance, is the brother of the would-be fi lm director, Kenner de Sauvenard. The brothers are heirs to a timber fortune in the very forests of those Northwest wilds. Unknown to all but the perpetrators, however, dirty work is afoot: murder, skull-duggery, kidnapping, and dark family secrets that only can be put right by an axe-wielding Rita and her posse—especially the preter-naturally savvy Petey. Lance and Kenner’s Mom is a marvelously-drawn, not-so-minor character. Here’s a satisfying page-turner by Lambda Award-winner Sims.

While Samuel Steward’s name (and pseudonyms) have been known to some, the full scope of his life (1909-1993) only became public knowledge through the happy circumstance of the dis-covery of his vast trove of papers, memorabilia, and meticulous cataloguing of sexual encounters by author Justin Spring. This “Stud File” might have been only compulsive note-taking had it not included Rudolph Valentino, yet-to-be-stage-named Rock Hudson, Oscar Wilde’s Bosie, and others. In an equally serendipitous mo-ment, Steward earlier had crossed paths with sexual behaviorist Alfred Kinsey, with whom he formed an important friendship, and to whom he devoted many hours of documentation. A brief review like this cannot begin to scratch the surface of Steward’s life, but a reading of Spring’s remarkable book about this indis-putably remarkable subject offers a view into not only a life, but also a homosexual one as lived in the 1920s to 1960s. It’s a window into a world we are fortunate to be changing (so far).

Let’s Get this Straight: The Ultimate Handbook for Youth with LGBTQ ParentsTINA FAKHRID-DEEN WITH COLAGESEAL PRESS$15.95

On Location: A Rita Farmer MysteryELIZABETH SIMSMINOTAUR BOOKS$25.99

Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Stew-ard, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual RenegadeJUSTIN SPRINGFARRAR, STRAUS & GIROUX$32.50

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[ by George Holdgrafer ]

Bartender Spotlight | Bar Advertiser Guide |

19 BAR 19 W. 15th St., Mpls.(612) 871-5553Shoot pool or play darts at your neighborhood bar------the Twin Cities’s oldest GLBT establishment.

BRASS RAIL422 Hennepin. Ave., Mpls.(612) 332-RAIL (7245)<www.thebrassraillounge.com>Completely remodeled elegant lounge featuring variety of entertainment: karaoke, male dancers, and more.

COALE'S719 N. Dale St.St. Paul, MN (651) 487-5829Areanna Coale, proprietor. Now open.An eclectic enigma fi lled with joy and happiness. Everyone welcome!

GAY 90’S408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.(612) 333-7755<www.gay90s.com>Upper Midwest’s Largest Gay Entertainment Complex. Serving reasonably priced menu in main bar Wednesday-Sunday.

GLADIUS1111 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.(612) 332-9963<www.gladiusbar.com>The New York Chic of Minneapolis. Gladius God-desses Tuesday. Killer B's Karaoke Wednesday.

RUMOURS/INNUENDO213 E. 4th St., St. Paul(651) 225-GLBT (4528)<www.rumours-innuendo.com>Rumours: hottest dance club with fabulous DJs.Innuendo: casual, intimate "Cheers" ambience for quiet conversation.

TICKLES420 S. 4th St., Mpls.(612) 354-3846<www.ticklesbar.com>Live Piano Music. Full-Service Menu, Happy Hour, Sports on 10 Flat-Panel TVs, Pool, Darts.

TOWN HOUSE1415 University Ave. W., St. Paul(651) 646-7087<www.townshousebar.com>Fun neighborhood bar with a great mix of men and women. Karaoke. Drag shows.

THE FLAME1612 Tower Ave., Superior(715) 395-0101<www.SuperiorFlame.com>

THE MAIN CLUB1217 Tower Ave., Superior(715) 392-1756<www.mainclubsuperior.com>

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WHATRecipe: Snow Cone2 parts Blue Raspberry Vodka1 part Peach Schnapps7UPLemonadeGarnish with cherry

WHENWed. • 9 PM-2 AM • Happy Hour BarOther Hours Variable

WHEREGay 90’s408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.(612) 333-7755<www.gay90s.com>

WHY“Six bars under one roof. Drink specials galore. Dining Wednesday-Sunday. Nightly entertainment: karaoke Monday; drag shows Tuesday-Sunday; male dancers Friday-Sunday.”

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19 BARSeptember 29

Bar Scene > Bar Showcase [ Photos by George Holdgrafer ]

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Bar Scene > Bar Calendar

For club addresses, phone numbers, and Web sites, see “Bar Advertiser Guide” on page 36. For events not at bars, see <LavenderMagazine.com/calendar>.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 8YOLO9 PM. Town House.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 9TNT Show9 PM. Town House.Minneapolis Movie Bears OctobearfestInnuendo

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15Dragged Out9:30 PM. Town House.Foam PartyDance Annex, Gay 90’sThe Offi cial Margaret Cho After PartyTickles

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16Halloween Glow PartyRumours

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 17Singles Pool Tournament4 PM. 19 Bar.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21Lavender’s ThirstDays5:30 PM. Rumours/Innuendo.

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NORTH STAR GAY RODEO ASSOCIATION BARN DANCESeptember 25

Dance Hall Creek Farm, Greenfi eld

Bar Scene > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Paul Nixdorf ]

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Cuisine > Off the Eaten Path

The history of pizza is almost synonymous with that history of Mediterranean cooking, although the former wasn’t given much thought at fi rst. Flatbread dough with assorted toppings merely was used to test the temperature of an oven. If the pizza baked correctly, then the “real” dishes could be prepared.

JAKEENO'S[ by Heidi Fellner ]

SERVES FABULOUS HOME-STYLE ITALIAN CUISINE

House Special Pizza. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

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JAKEENO’S CUSTOMERS TAKE THEIR LOYALTY TO A LEVEL BEYOND WHAT MOST PIZZERIAS EXPERIENCE. OUR SERVER TOLD ME THAT SOME REGULARS GO SO FAR AS TO ORDER THEIR FAVORITE DISH FOUR OR FIVE TIMES A WEEK,

SOMETIMES CALLING AHEAD TO SEE IF IT IS STILL AVAILABLE.

Pasta Combo.

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Pizza didn’t receive any more epicurean notice until the late-1800s, when Italian immigrants were arriving in droves in the United States. Their newly-popularized dish came with them, and the rest is food-ie history. By the mid-1900s, pizza had evolved into a truly American food.

Jakeeno’s founder Jack Keegan, whose family was Irish, was not a descendant of those poor, tired, pizza-eating Italian immi-grants. In 1975, he opened his eponymous restaurant (“Jakeeno’s” is an Italian-sounding merger of his fi rst and last names). His fam-ily, including his daughter, Patty, has been serving pizza, pasta, and salads ever since.

Pizza dough and sauces all are made in-house, relying on smaller vendors and

organic products whenever possible. If that statement conjures up a stuffy, fussy image, fret not. This is a neighborhood restaurant. The atmosphere is ultracasual. The dishes taste like something your parents could have prepared—that is, if they had that kind of time and access to organic produce.

However, Jakeeno’s is not just any home-style pizza joint. For one, not many offer a Baby Greens Salad ($3.95/$6.50 full). With homemade balsamic vinaigrette dressing, asiago cheese, and walnuts, it makes for a nice change.

Jakeeno’s customers take their loyalty to a level beyond what most pizzerias experi-ence. Our server told me that some regu-lars go so far as to order their favorite dish

four or fi ve times a week, sometimes calling ahead to see if it is still available.

I would imagine that Garlic Provolone Cheese Toast (four pieces for $4.25) is one of those call-ahead items. It is just the right balance of garlic with enough cheese to please but not overwhelm. The bread is soft in the middle, with a crust that offers a bit of a bite without being too harsh in the mouth. I appreciate texture in food, perhaps because I am an avid baker, and it is always a treat to visit a kitchen that pays attention to this important detail.

In this sense, Jakeeno’s also nails its pas-ta dishes, which arrive perfectly al dente. Chicken Florentine ($10.50)—made with homemade white butter and cream

Chicken Florentine. Dining Area.

> Off the Eaten Path

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sauce, mostaccioli pasta, fresh chicken breast, spinach, and cheese—is pure Min-nesotan comfort food. A little kick of red pepper fl ake is always an option at the ta-ble.

The Pasta Combo ($9) offers a bit of everything if you cannot choose among stuffed shells, cannelloni, or mostaccioli. It’s a bit of a childhood treat, really—a bunch of different shapes and flavors all in one meal.

With our pastas and salad, we sipped the generously-poured Pinot Grigio ($6/$20) before moving on to Sangiovese ($8/$26). Daily happy hour specials are 4-6 PM and 8-10 PM, slashing the already-affordable

wines by half (beer is two-for-one).The Big Red Monster ($7/glass), a new

offering and still off-menu, was our table’s clear favorite for its full body and clean fi n-ish. It also holds up beautifully against the House Special Pizza, with sausage, pepper-oni, and mushrooms (10” for $12.79/13” for $17.24/15” for $19.79). The pizza dough is thin-crust perfection for this texture-fan—some bite in the crust, not too chewy, and soft enough to be foldable.

Wanting to sample some of Jakee-no’s more nontraditional pies, we opted for a half-and-half of Rosemary Potato ($12.79/$17.24/$19.79) and Barbeque ($12.79/$17.24/$19.79). The former uses

hashbrown-cut potatoes to soak up the ol-ive oil and fresh garlic base without becom-ing too heavy. The latter, offering chicken, red onions, and cheddar cheese in a sweet and tangy barbeque sauce, responds well to some added red pepper fl ake.

Chocolate Mocha Layer Cake ($4.25) is another call-ahead item, and I can un-derstand why it is the perfect ending to a comforting home-style meal. The taste is honestly reminiscent of an upscale Ho Ho—light and chocolatey—but its impres-sive four layers are much more moist.

One of the most important aspects of the Jakeeno’s success story remains outside its menu. The restaurant has a dedication

Chocolate Mocha Layer Cake with real whipping cream. Baby green salad.

> Off the Eaten Path

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to its location that goes above and beyond, working with such organizations as Pills-bury House and The Aliveness Project, along with nearby schools and churches. The corner restaurant that formed around a simple dish has done much more than nourish its generations of fans. It has helped the area remain a vibrant and fl ourishing South Minneapolis neighbor-hood.

Jakeeno’s3555 Chicago Ave. S., Mpls.(612) 825-6827<www.jakeenos.com>

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Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

MANKATO PRIDEFESTSEPTEMBER 11

RIVERFRONT PARK, MANKATO

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TWIN CITIES BLACK PRIDE PARK FESTIVALSEPTEMBER 12

BOOM ISLAND PARK, MINNEAPOLIS

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Sports & Leisure > Lavender Lens [ Photos by Sophia Hantzes ]

ST. CLOUD PRIDE IN THE PARKSEPTEMBER 25

EASTMAN PARK/LAKE GEORGE, ST. CLOUD

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PROJECT 515 FUNDRAISER

SEPTEMBER 20PRIVATE RESIDENCE, ST. PAUL

[Photos by David K. Wells ]

Lavender Lens >

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The Network

Barbers________________

Funeral Services_________

Financial Services_______

Addiction Info &Treatment______________

Health & Wellness____

Accounting &Bookkeepping________

Automotive____________

Home Services_______

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The Network

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 14Book Reading. Former Twin Citian and present San Francisco resident Larry-bob Roberts returns for a reading from his new book, The International Homo-sexual Conspiracy. It’s a collection of 88 essays and rants on a variety of topics, many of them touching on queer culture. Roberts published the zine Holy Titclamps. 7:30 PM. Common Good Books, 65 N. Western Ave., St. Paul. (651) 225-8989. <www.commongoodbooks.com>.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 15Le Dance Off. James Sewell Ballet presents Le Dance Off, its wry twist on the current craze of celebrity-in-fused competitive dance. The company offers a col-lection of new choreography and audience favorites set to music ranging from Bach to Lady Gaga. True to the format, the show brings in exhibitions from guest artists, including Ballet Royal Minnesota (Oct. 15-16) and Summit Dance Shoppe (Oct. 22-24). Through Oct. 24. O’Shaughnessy Auditorium, St. Catherine University, 2004 Randolph Ave., St. Paul. (651) 690-6700. <http://oshaughnessy.stkate.edu>.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 16Vogue/Trash Costume Fashion Ball Benefi t. Support Patrick’s Cabaret, now in its 25th year, at this fi rst-ever event. Artists from the organization’s past and pres-ent will be strutting their wildest, craziest, and most innovative costumes on the runway. A sick dance party follows, featuring local breakers and funk styl-ists throwin’ down, with dirty electro and house beats bumpin’ throughout the whole night. Silent Auction 7 PM. Ball 8 PM. Patrick’s Cabaret, 3010 Minnehaha Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 721-3595. <www.patrickscabaret.org>.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19Rock of Ages. This fi ve-time Tony-nominated musi-cal stars Tony Award-nominee and American Idol fi nalist Constantine Maroulis. In 1987, on the Sunset Strip, a small-town girl met a big-city dreamer, and in LA’s most legendary rock club, they fell in love to the greatest songs of the ’80s. Through Oct. 24, Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Avenue, Mpls. <www.hennepintheatretrust.org>.

Insurance_____________Le Dance Off.Photo by Eric Saulitis

> Calendar Home Services_______Home Services_______

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The Network

Medical Services_____

Psychotherapy_______

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21The Haunted Theater. Just in time for Halloween, Music Box Theatre presents The Haunted Theater. Having fi rst opened its doors in 1920, this cavern-ous old theater has stories to tell, with hauntings of long-forgotten characters. This event takes visitors on an eerie journey through a spine-chilling labyrinth of rooms, basements, and corridors where the legends of the theater’s past still wait for audiences to enter-tain. Through Oct. 31. Music Box Theatre, 1407 Ni-collet Ave., Mpls. (612) 424-1407. <www.musicboxtheatre.org>.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 22Queer Twin Cities Reception and Talk. 7 PM. The Twin Cities GLBT Oral History Project—a collective organization of students, scholars, and activists de-voted to documenting and interpreting the lives of Twin Cities GLBT people—is hosting this event to promote its new book, Queer Twin Cities. Published by the University of Minnesota, and edited by Pro-fessors Kevin P. Murphy and Jennifer L. Pierce, it’s a uniquely critical collection of essays on Minnesota’s vibrant queer communities, past and present. West Bank Social Center, 501 Cedar Ave., Mpls. (612) 338-2720. <http://.westbanksocialcenter.org>.

Gee’s Bend. Park Square Theatre presents the re-gional premiere of playwright Elyzabeth Gregory Wilder’s Gee’s Bend, directed by Austene Van. This epic yet intimate play, which spans more than 65 years, follows Sadie Pettway from her teenage years to her 70s; her sister, Nella; and their mother, Alice. As they persevere through segregation, family turmoil, and the battle for Civil Rights, quilting brings them comfort. Through Nov. 7. Park Square Theatre, 20 W. 7th Pl., St. Paul. (651) 291-7005. <www.parksquaretheatre.com>.

Ongoing

515. In Minnesota, at least 515 laws discriminate against families of same-sex couples. In a dynamic collaboration of theater artists, The Flower Shop Proj-ect and Project 515 illuminate the inequities faced by same-sex couples, and celebrate a vision of Minneso-ta where all citizens equally are valued and respected under the law. Through Oct. 10. Patrick’s Cabaret, 3010 Minnehaha Ave., Mpls. (612) 724-6273. <www.thefl owershopproject.com>.

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Gee's Bend.Photo by Petronella Ystma

ONGOING

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The Network

Always & Forever. Set in a 1970s urban neighbor-hood barbershop, the play gives audiences a view of various aspects of love through the eyes and expe-riences of four African-American men, as they relate their stories through popular R&B songs of the 1960s and 1970s. Includes tunes by the Jackson Five, Percy Sledge, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Smoky Robin-son, and Earth, Wind & Fire. 8 PM. Through Oct. 10. Illusion Theater, 528 Hennepin Ave., Mpls. (612) 339-4944. <www.illusiontheater.org>.The Dead Sea Scrolls. History buffs: Check out what is believed to be one of the greatest archaeo-logical discoveries of our time. See the collection of 2,000-year-old documents that shed light on a period in religious history. The scrolls, some of the oldest surviving written documents in human history, were discovered in a cave along the northwestern shore of the Dead Sea in 1947. Through Oct. 24. Science Museum of Minnesota, 120 W. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul. <www.smm.org>.Evita. First Lady of Argentina Eva Perón was a legend in her time. An illegitimate country girl, she rose to become the most powerful woman Latin America had seen—a potent symbol of hope and change. Theater Latté Da takes a fresh look at this provocative telling of her brief and fascinating life. Through Nov. 14. Or-dway Center, McKnight Theatre. 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 224-4222. <www.ordway.org>.

ECLIPSED. Frank Theatre presents Danai Gurira’s award-winning play, which centers on the lives of fi ve women who are thrown together by the recent civil war in Liberia. Salvaged as chattel from wartime loot-ing, these “wives” of the commanding offi cer form a hardscrabble sisterhood, and develop their own a hi-erarchy, as they confront questions of survival in their compound. Through Oct. 10. Playwrights’ Center, Waring Jones Theatre, 2301 E. Franklin Ave., Mpls. (612) 724-3760. <www.franktheatre.org>.Evita. First Lady of Argentina Eva Perón was a legend in her time. An illegitimate country girl, she rose to become the most powerful woman Latin America had seen—a potent symbol of hope and change. Theater Latté Da takes a fresh look at this provocative telling of her brief and fascinating life. Through Oct. 31. Or-dway Center, McKnight Theatre. 345 Washington St., St. Paul. (651) 224-4222. <www.ordway.org>.The Glass Menagerie. Amanda, an overbearing sin-gle mother, lives on memories of her fl ower-scented youth, while her children bear the weight of her unre-alistic dreams for their futures. But when a gentleman caller offers false hope to the family, their precarious world shatters, with haunting results. Through Oct. 17. Jungle Theater, 2951 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls. (612) 822-7063. <www.jungletheater.com>.

> Calendar

ECLIPSED. Photo by Tony Nelson

Real Estate_________

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Classifi eds

Psychotherapy

Spa Services

Photographers

Real Estate

Music

IRENE GREENE, MSEd, Psychotherapist: 24 years experience. Individual, Couples Counseling, Mediation. Life changes, relationship, gender, sexuality, parenting, anger, anxiety, depression. Coming Out, Sexual Abuse, DID Groups. Sliding fee. Professional, nonjudgmental, confi dential. (612) 874-6442. irenegreene@earthlink.net.DENNIS CHRISTIAN, LICSW. (612) 940-7033. www.dennischristian.com.KATE HEFFELFINGER, MA, Licensed Psychologist. 18 years experience. Individuals/Couples. No cost initial sessions. Some insurance accepted. Visa/MC. (612) 922-9100. kate_heffelfi nger@msn.com.Are you in crisis, feeling depressed or struggling with life? Do you need to talk to a mental health professional now? Call Tris Casciaro, MA LPC, 1-866-864-8924. Accepts Visa/MC/AmEx/Discover.OWEN KONECNIK, MA, MSW, LICSW, Psychotherapist: Individual and couples counseling. Confi dential, non-judgmental, affi rming. Sliding scale fee available. Credit cards accepted. Free phone consultation. Lake & Lyndale location. (612) 558-6094. www.counselorminneapolis.com.

Employment

Health/Fitness

Host a Tea Tasting in your home, at your company, or with your community organization. High quality in-depth tea instruction. Traditional or Meditative Tastings available. Schedule your tastings at BumbleBeeTeas.com.

Help Wanted

Let an expert guide you achieving your fi tness goals. Over 1100 hours in anatomy & physiology, 6 years experience in health & fi tness. Buy 5 sessions, get a free full body massage. (612) 396-8912. www.massagefi tnessmpls.com.

COTTAGE HOUSE • An Occasional Market • Next sale: HOME TRADITIONS! • NOVEMBER 10, 11, 12, 13, 14. Wed: 1 - 8pm. Thurs-Fri 10am-7pm, Sat-Sun: 10am - 6pm • 4304 Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis, MN. www.thecottagehousempls.com.FLAMINGOS DIVINE FINDS • An Occasional Sale • Next sale: Wednesday - Sunday, October 6-10 and November 10-14, 10am - 6pm, 3404 Cedar Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 767-4548. www.fl amingosdivinefi nds.com

THE SPA by PetertGlaser@yahoo.com. 2736 Hennepin, UPTOWN. 612.986.4929 Catering to the Beauty Rituals for all Men and Women. Handcrafted Natural Facials. Body and Brazilian Waxing and Trimming. Manicures. Pedicures. Massage.

The Maids Home Services gives you the healthiest, most thorough housecleaning, guaranteed! Supervised teams, bonded, insured, environmentally safe cleaning products are why Nobody Outcleans The Maids. Free estimates (952) 929-6243. www.maids.com.ECO-GREEN RESIDENTIAL CLEANING SERVICE. $40 discount for fi rst time customers. GREEN DARLENE. Professional staff-bonded and insured. Budget friendly to bring you a sparkling clean. Free estimates. (612) 232-6573. www.greendarlene.com.TERRY LIDDELL, Residential cleaning. Dependable - Honest. Excellent references. Weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, fl exible schedules. tliddellcleaning@yahoo.com. Call Terry: (612) 834-4887.

Therapeutic Massage

Rentals-Residential

Events

Home Furnishings

House Cleaning

Home ServicesLa Prep Wallpaper Stripping and Painting, Inc. Women owned and operated www.la-prep.com. (952) 943-2419, laprepmn@yahoo.com.KENT STEARNS FINISHES: Painting, Wallcovering and Faux Finishes. 35 years of experience hasn’t changed; Preparation, still the key to a successful project. (612) 701-8932, khstearns@usfamily.net.

PROFESSIONAL SONGWRITING or VOCAL DEMOS: C-Sharp Productions Demo Studio. FREE 30 minute consultation. Visit Sharpmusic.com or call (763) 545-1969.

Rogue Photography has a unique vision and is passionate about her photography. Call Ann for your family portraits, weddings, senior pics, pets, and real estate listings. (612) 308-1488. www.roguephotography.com.

STRONG & RELAXING hands, resulting in bodywork at its best! Bruck, MT, DC in South Minneapolis @ (612) 306-6323.FULL BODY DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE. Relax & Unwind from Head to Toe. Private S. Mpls Studio. Music, Candles, Jacuzzi, Full Bath. In/Out Calls. 7 days. 10am - 10pm. (612) 388-8993. Keith.ZENTRAL MASSAGE welcomes the GLBT community to a customized therapeutic massage, facial or body polish with a trained therapist. Music, hot towels and comfortable tables enhance your relaxation journey. (612) 369-8641.FULL BODY MASSAGE. Warm relaxing atmosphere, Minneapolis. Hour Massage $60.00. Shower Available. (612) 219-6743. 7 days a week, 10 am - 10 pm. Therapist: 5’10, 167#, 32 waist.BORING...BORING...BORING !!! Sick of boring, mediocre sessions? This time...get unbelievably pampered and have lots of fun with a hot, talented masseur! These sessions are very unique, extremely erotic, totally uninhibited, and smokin’ hot!!! Call for details (no pressure to hire) - you’re gonna love this! Kevin, (612) 229-0001.R & R STUDIO. A rub above the rest. Offering Therapeutic Massage. SPECIAL: $60/hour or $75/1.5 hour. In/Out by appointment only. Convenient downtown location. Free parking. Ryan, (952) 261-4944. athleticbulldog2004@yahoo.com.REAL & GOOD - m4m massage by experienced responsive masseur. Many repeat clients. Studio, shower and lots of TLC. Near DT Mpls, noon-10 pm, 7 days. New client discount. Gene: (612) 749-7726. Thanks!

WOW! WOW! WOW!! OWN FOR LESS THAN RENT - 5 BEDROOMS ABOVE GRADE! Beautifully kept, totally updated, conventional fl oorplan family home of more than 40 years - Now for sale. $175k. Enter MLS# 3962492 at CBBurnet.com or call Brett @ (763) 227-8614.

Community Connection brings visi-bility to local GLBT-friendly non-prof-it organizations. To reserve your list-ing in Community Connection, call 612-436-4698 or email advertising@lavendermagazine.com.

Addiction & TreatmentHazeldenProviding comprehensive treatment, recovery solutions. Helping people reclaim their lives from the disease of addiction.P.O. Box 1115251 Pleasant Valley Rd Center City, MN (800) 257-7800 www.hazelden.org

AIDS/HIV & TreatmentAliveness Project, TheCommunity Center for Individuals Living with HIV/AIDS -- On-site Meals, Food Shelf and Supportive Services.730 East 38th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org

HIM Program One of the Red Door Services of the Hennepin County Public Health Clinic.525 Portland Ave. 4th FloorMinneapolis, MN (612) 348-9100www.himprogram.orgwww.StopSyphilisNOW.orgwww.CrystalClearMN.orgwww.inSPOT.org/Minnesota

MAP AIDSlineMAP AIDSLine is the confi dential statewide toll-free HIV information and referral service.1400 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 373-AIDS (metro) or (800) 248-AIDS (statewide)mapaidsline@mnaidsproject.orgwww.mnaidsproject.org

Park HouseDay Health / Mental Health Treatment Program for Adults Living with HIV/AIDS.710 E. 24th Street, Suite 303 Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-1264www.allina.com/ahs/anw.nsf/page/park_house_home

U of MN Research StudiesLooking for HIV+ and HIV- individuals to participate in research studies.420 Delaware Street SEMinneapolis, MN(612) 625-7472

Art GalleriesMinneapolis Institute of ArtsEnjoy Masterpieces From All Over The World And Every Period Of Human History. Free Admission Daily!2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-3000www.artsmia.org

Zeitgeist Arts CafeDuluth’s newest dining experience offering contemporary American dining and full bar in an art-fi lled setting. 222 E. Superior St.Duluth, MN(218) 722-9100www.zeitgeistartscafe.com

Co-op Living.Old Town in Town Co-op. 1 to 3 bdrms from $650-$1,225. www.oldtownintown.org (612) 209-2045 Ask about Move In Specials!

EducationArt Institutes International MinnesotaHelping prepare students for careers in the visual and practical arts.15 South 9th StreetMinneapolis, MN(612) 332-3361www.artinstitutes.edu/minneapolis

EventsMinneapolis Bike TourAnnual bike ride in September supporting Minneapolis Parks. Fully supported route, refreshments and music in fi nish area.2117 West River Rd.Minneapolis, MN(612) 230-6400www.minneapolisbiketour.commplsbiketour@minneapolisparks.org

Red Ribbon RideFour-day Bike Ride in July Benefi ting Eight HIV/AIDS Service Organizations in Minnesota. 4457 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN (612) 822-2110www.redribbonride.org

FitnessYWCA of MinneapolisHealthy Me. Healthy Community.Co-ed, full-service health clubs.Locations in Downtown, Midtown and Uptown2808 Hennepin Avenue SouthMinneapolis, MN(612) 874-7131www.ywcampls.org

Health & WellnessGLBTCALLITQUITS.COM If you’re ready to quit smoking, we’re here to support you.(866) 434-9736

Rainbow Health InitiativeWorking to improve the health of LGBTQ Minnesotans through education, clinical practice, outreach, and advocacy. RHI is the lead agency for the MN Tobacco-free Lavender Communities.611-A West Lake StreetMinneapolis, MN(877) 499-7744www.rainbowhealth.orgwww.mntlc.org

Sexual Health Empowerment (S.H.E.) ClinicUninsured? Underinsured? Sexual health services for female-bodied, queer-identifi ed individuals provided on a sliding fee scale.33 South 5th St.Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-2311www.midwesthealthcenter.org

LibraryQuatrefoil LibraryYour GLBT Library with stacks of DVDs, books, and magazines. Check out our online catalogue.1619 Dayton Ave., No. 105St. Paul, MN(651) 641-0969www.qlibrary.org

LiteracyThe Loft Literary CenterWhere writers learn from other writers. Visit www.loft.org for classes, events, conferences, and more.1011 Washington Ave S. Suite 200 Open Book Minneapolis, MN(612) 215-2575www.loft.orgloft@loft.org

Media & CommunicationsMinnesota Public RadioProviding in depth news coverage, classical music and emerging artists on our three regional services. (651) 290-1212www.mpr.org

Radio K 770Radio K is the award-winning student-run radio station of the University of Minnesota330 21st Ave. S.610 Rarig CenterUniversity of MinnesotaMinneapolis, MN (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org

MuseumWalker Art CenterInternationally recognized as a leading venue for the presentation of the art of our time. 1750 Hennepin Ave.Minneapolis, MN(612) 375-7600www.walkerart.org

Performing ArtsBallet of the DollsResident Company of Newly Renovated Ritz Theater. Twin Cities fi rst year-round dance-theater program.35 13th Ave. NEMinneapolis, MN(612) 623-7660www.ritzdolls.org

Flower Shop ProjectProducing new and local works of theatre that are smart, ballsy and fundamentally entertaining.At Bryant-Lake Bowl & Patrick’s CabaretMinneapolis, MN(612) 388-8628www.thefl owershopproject.com

Guthrie TheaterCome On In! Performances, Classes, Dining, Tours.818 South 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org

Hennepin Theatre TrustOrpheum, State and Pantages TheatresTwin Cities’ best live entertainment: Broadway shows, music concerts, comedy, dance and more!Minneapolis, MN (612) 673-0404www.HennepinTheatreDistrict.org

History TheatrePlays and musicals that illuminate the broad American experience, celebrating local legends, rock icons, and everyday people.30 East 10th StreetSt. Paul, MN(651) 292-4323www.HistoryTheatre.com

Illusion TheaterNationally Renowned For Developing Artists and New Work While Sparking Conversation About Challenging Human Issues.528 Hennepin Ave., #704Minneapolis, MN (612) 339-4944 www.illusiontheater.org

Jungle TheaterProfessional theater producing contemporary and classic works in an intimate setting in the Lynlake neighborhood.2951 Lyndale Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN(612) 822-7063www.JungleTheater.com

Minneapolis Musical Theatre “Giving Voice to the Human Experience” -

New and Rarely-Seen Musicals. 8520 W. 29th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 605-3298 www.aboutmmt.org

Minnesota OrchestraLed by Music Director Osmo Vänskä, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN (612) 371-5656 (800) 292-4141www.minnesotaorchestra.org

NorthropPresenting world-class entertainment in the heart of the Twin Cities.84 Church St. SEMinneapolis, MNBusiness Offi ce: (612) 625-6600Ticket Offi ce: (612) 624-2345northrop.umn.edu

One Voice Mixed ChorusPassionate about building community and creating social change by raising our voices in song.732 Holly Ave. Ste. Q Saint Paul, MN(651) 298-1954www.ovmc.org operations@ovmc.org

Ordway Center for the Performing ArtsHosting, presenting, and creating performing arts and educational programs that enrich diverse audiences.345 Washington St.St. Paul, MN (651) 224-4222www.ordway.org

Park Square TheatreCreating entertainment that matters; transporting you to unique worlds through exceptional talent and masterful stories.20 West Seventh Pl. Saint Paul, MN (651) 291-7005 www.parksquaretheatre.org

The Minnesota OperaAmerica’s most exciting opera company - tickets start at just $20.620 N. 1st St.Minneapolis, MN (612) 342-9550www.mnopera.org

Community Connection

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Backtalk > Dateland [ by Jennifer Parello ]

The best thing about having a big fi ght is that you get to have makeup sex. But we couldn’t, because my dimwitted contractor and his son, Dimwit Jr., were not yet done with their tasks.

When we fi nally got them out of the house, we jumped into bed, hoping to get a bit of heavy petting in before her ex-girl-friend arrived. But, just as the nibbling be-gan, we heard a knock at the door. And there they were: the ex, her new girlfriend, the three kids, and a cooler full of light beer.

I’m lucky that my girlfriend had the good sense to choose fi ne, upstanding ex-girlfriend. Unlike my exes, who often can be found lurking behind bushes, and for-getting to take their meds, her ex is not only mature and fun, but also not harboring a secret, burning desire to get back together with my girlfriend.

Before I met the ex, I didn’t like her very much. After all, I only had heard my girl-friend’s version of their relationship. Ac-

cording to her, the ex was controlling, domi-neering, and far too interested in sports.

Then, I met her, and I love her! And she loves me! This drives my girlfriend crazy, especially when I take the ex’s side in an argument. They argue a lot, because they have a kid together.

As we walked to the door to greet them, my girlfriend whispered menacingly, “Don’t say anything about anything,” which meant she did not want me to commiserate with her ex. Inevitably, when we get together, her ex merrily criticizes my girlfriend. I giggle and nod appreciatively. My girlfriend does not like this one bit.

This may explain why my girlfriend was so interested in meeting her ex’s new girl-friend. She was hoping to fi nd some sup-port in her gripes against her ex. After all, who’s more qualifi ed to fi nd fault with your ex than her current girlfriend?

It didn’t quite work out that way. Ap-parently, the new girlfriend isn’t as quick to

switch allegiances as I am.As I fl itted about, pouring drinks, and

trying desperately to keep the conversation alive, the ex’s new girlfriend concentrated on avoiding eye contact, and crafting one-word responses to any polite question of-fered by my girlfriend.

Finally, my poor little defeated girl-friend retreated to the kitchen to make an incredibly work-intensive guacamole that ensured she wouldn’t have to make chitchat for the next hour.

I discovered her pounding the hell out of a helpless avocado, and muttering to her-self. We were still a bit fragile from our big fi ght, and we hadn’t yet managed to have makeup sex, so I extended an olive branch.

“Can you believe that she brought her own cooler of beer?” I said with a laugh. “Did she think I wouldn’t have anything to serve her?”

For the fi rst time that day, my girlfriend brightened, and said, “And did you notice how my ex is already telling her how to cut her hair, and she made her buy those stupid shoes?”

“Yeah, they suck, and we’re great. Now, let’s go back out there, and make them un-comfortable,” I said.

And with that, a new team was formed—she and I against the world, armed only with guacamole and the promise of awe-some makeup sex in the near future.

Anatomy of a Bad IdeaPart III

In Parts I and II of this episode, my girlfriend decided to invite her ex, her ex’s new girlfriend, and all their children to my cottage for the weekend. But my contractor failed to show up, and an epic con-struction-stress-related battle ensued. My girlfriend stormed out; we broke up; my contractor showed me a naked picture of his girlfriend to make me feel better; my girlfriend returned; and we made up.

They move so fast!The one on top soon finds itself at the

bottom.

Careful! This cartoon is getting philosophical.Life changes!Gay parrots.

TROLIN, UN DIABLITO ROSA por RODRO

Community Connection

Performing ArtsTwin Cities Gay Men’s ChorusAn award-winning chorus that builds community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for!528 Hennepin Ave., Suite 307Minneapolis, MN(612) 339-SONG (7664)chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org

University of Minnesota Theatre Arts and DanceEducating artists and audiences through a diverse mix of performances on both land and water.U of M Theatre330 21st Ave S, Minneapolis, MN(612) 624-2345www.theatre.umn.edu

Pets/Pet ServicesAnimal Humane SocietyAdoption, rescue, outreach, training, boarding. Buffalo, Coon Rapids, Golden Valley, St. Paul and Woodbury.(763) 432-4527www.animalhumanesociety.org

Wildcat SanctuaryA non-profi t accredited sanctuary for over 100 abandoned and abused bobcats, tigers, leopards and more.Sandstone, MN(320) 245-6871www.wildcatsanctuary.org

Politics & RightsHuman Rights CampaignAdvocates for all GLBT Americans, mobilizes grassroots action, invests strategically to elect fair-minded individuals. P.O. Box 50608 Minneapolis, MN www.twincities.hrc.org www.hrc.org

Marry Me MinnesotaFounded by same-sex couples suing the State for marriage equality. We welcome your support.P. O. Box 22256Robbinsdale, MN(763) 219-1206www.marrymeminnesota.org

Minnesota Log Cabin RepublicansInclusion Wins.115 Hennepin Ave.Minneapolis, MNwww.mnlogcabin.org

PrideTwin Cities PrideThe third-largest national Pride celebration seeks sponsors, volunteers, and board members. Contact us today. 2021 East Hennepin Ave, Ste. 460Minneapolis, MN(612) 305-6900www.tcpride.org

Religious & SpiritualCentral Lutheran ChurchWe welcome all people to discover, celebrate and share the love of Christ.333 Twelfth St. S.Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-4416www.centralmpls.org

Edina Community Lutheran ChurchUpbeat, growing congregation committed to inclusion, justice, peace, community and proclaiming God’s YES to all.4113 W. 54th St.Edina, MN(952) 926-3808www.eclc.org

Hennepin Avenue United Methodist ChurchTake a Spiritual Journey With Hennepin’s Faith Community Through Worship, Education, Fellowship, Service, and More.511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 871-5303www.haumc.org

Mayfl ower Community Congre-gational United Church of ChristAn open and affi rming, peace with justice church welcomes you.106 E. Diamond Lake Rd. (I-35 & Diamond Lake Rd.)Minneapolis, MN(612) 824-0761www.mayfl owermpls.org

Mount Olive Lutheran ChurchOurs is a welcoming parish, rich in music, liturgy and opportunities to serve the community.3045 Chicago Ave. Minneapolis, MN (612) 827-5919 www.mountolivechurch.org

Plymouth Congregational Church, MinneapolisA Beacon of Liberal Theology. Progressive Christianity, Traditional Setting & Service, Social Action, The Arts & Music.1900 Nicollet Ave. at FranklinMinneapolis, MN (612) 871-7400www.plymouth.org

Spirit of Hope An Independent Catholic community.At our table, all are welcome. Mass at5 PM Saturday evening. Fr. Marty Shanahan. Worship at:St. Anne’s Episcopal Church2035 Charlton Rd Sunfi sh Lake, MNwww.spiritofhopecatholiccommunity.org

St. Luke Presbyterian ChurchWe’re a joyful, compassionate community on a spiritual journey, seeking justice and peace. Join us.3121 Groveland School Rd.Wayzata, MN(952) 473-7378www.stlukeweb.org

St. Mark’s Episcopal Cathedral Wherever you are on your faith journey... St. Mark’s Welcomes You.519 Oak Grove St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 870-7800www.ourcathedral.org

St. Paul-Reformation Lutheran Church with Wingspan Ministry+ PASTORAL CARE + EDUCATION + WITNESS + ADVOCACY + Outreach of St. Paul-Reformation Church to the GLBTQA Community.100 N. Oxford St.St. Paul, MN (651) 224-3371www.stpaulref.org

University Lutheran Church of HopeReconciling Congregation - All Are Welcome. Social Justice Opportunities. Strong University Links - Questioning Encouraged. Great Music. 601 13th Ave. SE Minneapolis, MN (612) 331-5988www.ulch.org

Westminster Presbyterian ChurchA Covenant Network Congregation, Working Toward a Church as Generousand Just as God’s Grace.Nicollet Mall at 12th St. Minneapolis, MN (612) 332-3421www.ewestminster.org

RetirementThe Kenwood Retirement CommunityOur full service retirement community provides Independent, Assisted Living and Short Term apartment rentals. 825 Summit Avenue, Minneapolis, MN (612) 374-8100 www.thekenwood.net

Sexual HealthFamily Tree ClinicLGBTQ Health Matters at Family Tree! Offering respectful, affordable sexual health service to meet your needs. 1619 Dayton AvenueSt. Paul, MN(651) 645-0478www.familytreeclinic.org

Man2ManInteractive events where guys talk to one another about being gay/bi, dating, sex, life!Metro (612) 626-79371-800-552-8636 www.M2M.mn

Social OrganizationsImperial Court of MinnesotaP.O. Box 582417Minneapolis, MNwww.impcourtmn.com

Social JusticeCommunity Shares of MinnesotaCommunity Shares of Minnesota raises funds and awareness for local organizations fi ghting for justice and equality.1619 Dayton Avenue, Suite 323St.Paul, MN(651) 647-0440changeisbetter.org

Sports & RecreationTwin Cities Goodtime Softball League (TCGSL) Join 500 GLBT softball players as we celebrate 32 years of gay softball in Minnesota. PO Box 580264Minneapolis, MNwww.tcgsl.org

TravelDoor County Visitor Bureauwww.doorcounty.com

Grand Marais Area Tourism AssociationVisit the North Shore's only harbor village - art, dining, shopping, outdoor activities, the perfect escape.P.O Box 1048 13 North Broadway AveGrand Marais, MN(888) 922-5000(218) 387-2524www.grandmarais.com

Palm Springs Bureau of TourismAmerica's Gay Oasis is Beautiful Palm Springs. www.palm-springs.org

Visit Minneapolis North Convention & Visitors BureauWe take pride in helping individuals fi nd the ideal location for events & celebrations.6200 Shingle Creek Parkway, Suite 248, Minneapolis, MN (763) 566-7722 / (800) 541-4364www.visitminneapolisnorth.com

Winneshiek County Convention & Visitors Bureau / Discover DecorahRefresh, rejuvenate, rekindle....whatever R&R you’re up for, the Decorah area is the ultimate heaven507 West Water StreetDecorah, IA 52101(800) 463-4692www.visitdecorah.com

ZoosMinnesota ZooOpen year-round. More than 2,400 animals to explore. Numerous special events.13000 Zoo Blvd.Apple Valley MN(952) 431-9200www.mnzoo.org

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Backtalk > Consider the Source [ by Julie Dafydd ]

Sock Puppet CampaignAs politicians are pulling out all the

stops, and spending more money on cam-paigns than ever, I am wrestling with a number of questions:

• Which strategy garners the most votes?• Which issues stir Americans to the

polls?• And, should a candidate be allowed to

use a sock puppet?If that last question hadn’t occurred to

you, then you clearly weren’t paying close attention to one of yesterday’s most-hotly-contested races. I am, of course, referring to my 9-year-old nephew’s second in a se-ries of ill-fated attempts to be elected trea-surer of his elementary school.

Although he received only 11 votes, the poor kid actually did amazingly well from a historical perspective. Last year, his vote total was in the single digits. Specifi cally, three. The breakdown was as follows: one vote for himself; one vote from his best friend, Chris; and one vote from Lucy, a lit-tle girl who is largely unaware of my neph-ew’s existence, but who has a high degree of respect for or a major crush on Chris.

As is often the case in politics, hopes were high at the beginning of the campaign season (last Monday), which comes exactly fi ve days before the end of the campaign season (last Friday). In fact, early indica-tions were that my nephew had already se-cured at least four votes. (Although the sup-port of Justin, who is frequently described as “a big liar,” was highly questionable.)

Midway through the campaign, which would be Wednesday, things started to fall apart. First, Michelle, who sits behind my nephew in class, intimated that his approv-al ratings were, perhaps, slipping slightly. I believe her exact words were, “No one’s going to vote for you.”

In political circles, this time-honored tactic is commonly referred to as “saying stuff that will make the candidate cry right before recess.”

The next setback had to do with cam-paign posters. In elementary-school elec-tions, posters serve much the same pur-pose as paid political advertisements do in state and national elections. Of course, the kids don’t have access to professional campaign strategists so, quite often, their posters actually make sense.

Each candidate is allowed to make two posters. Generally, this involves a four-

step process:• Step 1: Child spends many hours cre-

ating posters.• Step 2: Child ties posters to school-

yard fence.• Step 3: Child instantly becomes fa-

miliar with the phrase “wind chill factor.”• Step 4: Child watches posters blow in

the general direction of town.So, by Friday, the last day of formal cam-

paigning, my nephew was posterless, and fi lled with the confi dence that comes from knowing, based on all reasonable standards of measurement, you are 100 percent un-electable. Fortunately for my nephew, this is the ideal frame of mind if one is going to top off his campaign with a memorable speech highlighted by, among other things, accidentally spitting out your retainer.

On the fi rst day of campaigning, each candidate is required to give a one-minute presentation. In my nephew’s case, this was precisely the amount of time he needed to stand before the entire student population to: mumble his name, stare intently at his shoelaces for approximately 45 seconds, form one complete unintelligible sentence, and spew dental hardware onto the podium.

On the bright side, it wouldn’t have made any difference even if the kid had embraced a totally different speechmak-ing strategy, such as opting to use one or more words from the English language. That’s because—and seasoned politicians will tell you that next to losing the ability to outright lie, this is the biggest fear—my nephew was followed by a candidate with a sock puppet.

The minute this youngster took to the stage, and introduced his puppet, “The Bieber,” the election was clearly over.

“The Bieber” swished his muppet hairs.“The Bieber” sang songs.“The Bieber” said absolutely noth-

ing about why the child whose hand was stuffed inside him might possibly be quali-fi ed to serve as school treasurer.

“The Bieber” has a very promising po-litical future.

Tsk. Like auntie, like nephew, I guess. I once lost an election to a drag queen chan-neling Patti LuPone in Sunset Boulevard.

Well, consider the source here.It’s all politics.Bye for now.Kiss, kiss.

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Ms. Behavior© | [ by Meryl Cohn ]

Stella DramaDear Ms. Behavior:OK, so, say you’ve had this longstanding

thing for a woman involved in a long-term re-lationship. And, say it has been this frustrat-ing mutual attraction that causes both of you to spend lots of time together, and then com-pletely avoid each other for months at a time. Then, say the married woman moves to an-other city, so you’re depressed, but relieved.

But the relief doesn’t last very long, be-cause now, her relationship is falling apart. She’s hanging around again, and it’s all extremely tempting. But you know it ulti-mately will be exceedingly bad.

What would you do?—Stella Drama

Dear Stella Drama:Never mind what Ms. Behavior would

do. You are clearly a loaded gun just waiting to go off. You should fi nd another outlet for your swollen dramatic desires before you blow your own life to smithereens. (See? Ms. Behavior can be just as dramatic as the next person, and just as capable of mixing her metaphors.)

According to Ms. Behavior’s calculations, getting reinvolved with the married woman will cause pain for at least 11 people.

Why 11, you say?Ms. Behavior is excited by the opportu-

nity to use her math skills: We have you; the married woman; her partner; the three therapists who will have to hear about it for the next year-and-a-half; the married wom-an’s two best friends; her partner’s friend (let’s hope you’ll feel too much shame to “share” it yourself); plus a couple of ran-

dom people who only were trying to shop for groceries.

Love triangles are what classical the-ater and daytime melodramas are made of—great to watch from the safety of the amphitheater (or your sofa), but torture to experience. Repeat after Ms. Behavior: Se-cret love triangles always hurt.

Can’t you just read your middle-school diary to remember why this particular type of drama is ugly?

Sometimes, renting bad movies can fulfi ll one’s desire for turmoil. However, it sounds like you already have stepped off the cliff.

Because you’re saying that you know this situation will be “exceedingly bad,” and because you’ve gone to the trouble of writ-ing to an advice columnist, perhaps you still will make the choice to keep your tongue in

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your own mouth.But it seems unlikely, doesn’t it?

Dear Ms. Behavior:My boyfriend, Ray, and I are planning

to visit my conservative parents in Ne-braska. This will be the fi rst time they’ll meet him—or any of my boyfriends—and I’m pretty nervous about it.

The problem is that Ray recently got his chin and his tongue pierced, and he in-sists on keeping the studs in at all times. I know my parents have come a long way in accepting me, but the facial piercings will make them faint.

All my old boyfriends were bankers, but Ray is a guitarist in a rock band. He says that if he takes his piercings out for even the fi ve days we’ll be in Nebraska, the holes will close up. He’s not willing to get them repierced, because it was too painful the fi rst time.

I think Ray’s being selfi sh, and he should just forget about the piercings. He doesn’t realize what a big deal this is for me. He thinks I’m being ridiculous.

What do you think?—Ed

Dear Ed:Hello? Is it 1992 again?The world is full of nice, clean-cut

bankers who wear suits, and never would consider punching holes through their face.

But if you wanted a banker, you’d be with another one, wouldn’t you?

If Ray is the man you love, let him be a rock star with a pierced face. Allow him to speak with that sexy lisp that reveals the hunk of metal pinning the fl esh of his tongue. When you introduce him to your parents, be proud of who he is, what he does, and even his syllabant “s.” Or, “eth,” ath the cathe may be. [sic]

If you chicken out, you always could warn your parents about his piercings in advance. If you go in that direction, it would be best to exaggerate about Ray’s appearance. Tell your parents he has a pierced face, a shaved head with a skull tattoo, and three gold teeth.

Once they meet him, and fi nd out that all he really has are a couple of dainty holes in his face and tongue, they prob-ably will be delighted.

© 2010 Meryl Cohn. Address questions and correspondence to <msbehavior@aol.com>. She is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Signed copies are available directly from the author.

Yellow Pages > Advertiser Index

AdultHardline Gay Chat...... 65Megaphone ................. 64

Apparel & AccessoriesNorcostco-NorthwesternCostume ........................ 5

Arts & EntertainmentArt InstitutesInternationalMinnesota .................... 31Hennepin TheatreTrust .............................. 30, 27Minneapolis MusicalTheatre ......................... 31Theater Latté Da ........... 33

AutomotiveHagen’s Auto Body ..... 55LaMettry’s Collision ..... 6Morrie’s Subaru ........... 25

Bars & NightlifeBar Advertiser Guide .. 3619 Bar ........................... 40Brass Rail ...................... 38Coale’s ......................... 38Gay 90’s ..................... 37Gladius ......................... 39Rumours/Innuendo ...... 40Tickles ........................... 39Town House ................. 39

Beauty & RelaxationAnew AestheticMedical Center ............ 7Barbers on Bryant ........ 55

BeveragesBudweiser ..................... 67Haskell’s ....................... 45Surdyk’s ........................ 48

CateringMintahoe Catering &Event ............................. 29

Communications89.3 The Current ......... 25AM950, The Voiceof Minnesota ................ 7

Radio K 770 ............... 11The A List ....................... 68

EmploymentPride TalentAcquisition .................... 5

EventsLavender FirstThursdays ...................... 29Lavender’sTHIRSTdays .................. 41Lavender Salute ........... 41Park Tavern Bowling& EntertainmentCenter ........................... 45

FinancialHarbor Group ...............29, 55Hamilton Clark Group 55Moltaji, Roya ................ 11Palm, Karen .................. 7ROR Tax Professionals 55US Bank ........................ 2, 21

Funeral ServicesJohnson Hannah,Barbara ....................... 55

GiftsFantasy Gifts ................ 9

Grocery StoresWedge Co-op .............. 48

Health, Wellness & RecoveryBurns, Steve .................. 57Carrillo, Dr. Thomas P. . 57Chase, Lisa ................... 57Fleet Naturals............... 8, 9HIM Program ............... 54Homecare Assist .......... 7Laser Body Sculpture... 9Pride Institute ................ 55Rainbow HealthInitiative ........................ 35Running Tiger ShaolinKenpo ........................... 55Shaklee ......................... 55University of Minnesota, Infectious Diseases ...... 3Uptown Dermatology& SkinSpa ..................... 57

Home ServicesA-Z Electric .................. 56Bluestem Construction . 56Good Stuff Moving ..... 56GraniteTransformations ............ 21Hi-Tech Installations ..... 56Matt’s Tree Service ...... 56Mr. Handyman ............ 55Personal PrideConstruction ................. 56Ryan’s Tree Care ......... 56Soderlin Plumbing,Heating & AirConditioning ................. 55SOS Homecare ........... 55The Tile Shop ................ 23Vujovich ........................ 25

InsuranceAmerican FamilyInsurance ...................... 23Baldwin, Davina .......... 56Wagner Insurance-Financial Services ........ 57Wolfson, Steve ............. 56

JewelryMax’s ............................ 54

LegalAlbertson, Martha ....... 7Cloutier & Brandl ......... 29Davis Law Offi ce ......... 15Dean, Jeff ..................... 5Family Solutions LawGroup ........................... 23Heltzer & Burg ............. 33Hoffner Law Firm ......... 11Moshier, Becky ............ 7Terry & Slane ............... 8

MortgageLozinski, David ............. 6Grunewald, Mark ........ 24

OrganizationsCommunity Shares of Minnesota .................... 5

Pet Products & ServicesAnimal HumaneSociety .......................... 11

Cat Nap Inn ................. 57Larpenteur AnimalHospital ........................ 30Nokomis Pet Clinic ...... 57

Real Estate & RentalsFarinella, Marilyn ........ 58gayrealestate.com ....... 57Haubrich Homes .......... 58Leviton, Ann .................. 57Minneapolis Grand Apartments ................... 21McGee, Michael ......... 24Ruzick, Amy &Johnson, Kay ................ 6Village Green ............... 24

ReligiousMayfl ower Community Congregational United Church of Christ ........... 15Plymouth Congregational Church .......................... 15Westminster Presbyterian Church .......................... 15

RestaurantsBurger Moe’s ............... 45Christos ......................... 47Duplex Restaurantand Wine Bar .............. 48French MeadowBakery & Café ............. 48Honey ........................... 45Jakeeno’s Pizza &Pasta ............................. 47KinDee ThaiRestaurant ..................... 48Roat Osha .................... 47Toast Wine Bar &Café .............................. 48Uptown Diner,Woodbury Café,Louisiana Café,Grandview Grill ........... 47

Travel & Accommodationsaloft Minneapolis ........ 6

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BURGER MOE’S $American fareRelaxed atmosphere, gorgeous outdoor patio, fabulous food, sixty beers. Lunch, Dinner242 W. 7th St., St. Paul, MN (651) 222-3100www.burgermoes.com

CHRISTO’S $GreekServing classic Greek fare for over 13 years, we specialize in dishes from the island of Cyprus, offering food from the traditional to the contemporary. Lunch, Dinner2632 Nicollet Ave., Mpls (612) 871-2111 • 15600 Hwy 7, Min-netonka, (952) 912-1000 • 214 4th St. E., St. Paul Union Depot, (651) 224-6000 www.christos.com

DUPLEX $French, Italian, AmericanUnique entrees, moderately priced, cozy space with up-beat staff. Brunch, Lunch, Dinner2516 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 381-0700www.duplexmpls.com

FRENCH MEADOW BAKERY $Certifi ed Organic BakeryBreakfast, Lunch, Dinner2610 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis (612) 870-4740Sun – Thurs: 6:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri – Sat: 6:30 AM – 11 PMwww.frenchmeadow.com

GINGER HOP $$Asian FusionSpecializing in pan-Asian classic dishes. As we like to say,

“East meets Northeast”. Lunch, Dinner201 E. Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0304www.gingerhop.com

THE GRANDVIEW GRILL $AmericanFresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pan-cakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch1818 Grand Ave., St. Paul (651) 698-2346Mon – Fri: 6:15 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:15 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

HONEY $$Small PlatesFine cocktails, wine, small plates and artisan chocolates in an intimate setting. 205 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis (612) 746-0306www.honeympls.com

JAKEENO’S PIZZA & PASTA $ItalianTraditional red sauce pastas, thin crust pizza & homemade sauces. Lunch, Dinner3555 Chicago Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 825-6827Mon – Fri: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sat – Sun: 4 PM – 11 PMMidtown Global Market, 920 E. Lake St., Minneapolis (612) 767-1102Mon – Sat: 10 AM – 8 PM • Sun: 10 AM – 6 PMwww.jakeenos.com

KINDEE THAI $ThaiThis isn’t your traditional everyday Thai restaurant. Lunch, Dinner719 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis (612) 465-8303Mon: Closed • Tues – Thurs: 11:30 AM – 9 PM • Fri: 11:30 AM

– 10:30 PM • Sat: 11 AM – 10:30 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 9 PM www.kindeethairestaurant.com

THE LOUISIANA CAFÉ $AmericanFresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pan-cakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.Breakfast, Brunch, 613 Selby Ave., St. Paul (651) 221-9140Mon – Fri: 6:30 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 6:30 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

Dining Guide Listing |

Kindee Thai. Photos by Hubert Bonnet

Our Guide to the Metro Eateries Featured in This Issue Lav-ender Magazine’s Dining Guide is your resource to GLBT-friendly restaurants. We recommend calling restaurants be-fore visiting to confi rm information. Lavender’s cuisine section and updated dining guide appears each issue. Please direct questions about the directory and cuisine advertising to dining@lavendermagazine.com.

AVERAGE PRICE OF A TYPICAL ENTREE$ LESS THAN $15, $$ $15-$25, $$$ MORE THAN $25

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NEW UPTOWN DINER $AmericanFresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch2548 Hennepin Ave. S. Minneapolis (612) 874-0481Mon – Wed: 6 AM – 3 PM • Thurs – Sat: 24 Hours • Sun: Close at 6 PM

ROAT OSHA $$ThaiUniquely crafted authentic and American infl uences. Decor that invites conversationLunch, Dinner2650 Hennepin Ave. S., MinneapolisSat: 11 AM – 11 PM • Sun: 11 AM – 10:30 PMwww.roatoshathai.com

TOAST WINE BAR AND CAFÉ $Wine bar with Italian infl uenceNeighborhood wine bar serving pizzas, cured meats and small plates.Dinner415 N. 1st St., Minneapolis, MN (612) 333-4305Tues – Thurs: 5 PM – 11 PM • Fri – Sat: 5 PM – 12 AM • Sun: 5 PM – 11 PM www.toastwinebarandcafe.com

THE WOODBURY CAFÉ $AmericanFresh hand ground hash browns, French toast, omelets, pancakes, coffee, juices, soups, salads & sandwiches.Breakfast, Brunch, LunchBielenberg & Tamarack, Woodbury, MN (651) 209-8182Mon – Fri: 7 AM – 2:30 PM • Sat: 7 AM – 3 PM • Sun: 8 AM – 3 PM

Roat Osha

The Grandview Grill. New Uptown Diner.