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MY TRUE NATURE

You are not what you normally think, feel, and believe you are!

A real personal experience to prove the above statement!

In the space of 24 hours, I lost my bearings and references. During the

first night just after moving out of the valleys of death, I was an old man,

widower, with a son married to a foreigner when I sent him for his

further studies. His wife would not wish him to come to my place. So Iwent to convince him about my love for him, to meet my grand daughter

and to placate my daughter in law. Unfortunately, she obstructed to ourmeeting. I passed out waiting for him.

The next day when I opened my eyes, I was the double of my old self

living in a parallel world and sending telepathic messages to my real-

double in the real world. My real self, after having been blessed by theLight, was sent to his loving family and was living a normal and happylife. But I could not communicate with him and felt imprisoned in the

parallel world. When I started awakening from the delusion, I meditatedtill sunset, when an inner voice told me to return to my loving family as

there was no double.

On my way back, I had to face my darkest fears and resisted the sneaky

intimations of the death-instinct. Suddenly, I fell in a deep trench andbelieved that my leg was broken. Alone in the trench, my darkest fears

and panics overtook me again in a nightmarish experience.

I was forced to deny my earlier encounter with the Light and to put the

whole blame of whatever happened to me as precipitating causal

conditions leading to the depressed state on the Light, which wasdevilish. I was forced to curse the Light and its devilish designs in order

to save my soul. Unable to stand it all, in a highly tensed and panic-

ridden state, I practiced forceful rapid breathing for several minutes andthe head fell hard against a rock. All the fearful shadows and noises

suddenly disappeared. I passed out again in a state of fear.

When I woke up next morning, the old man self came back for some

time, cleaning the wounds. Then, he vanished once for all leaving the full

space for the present me again. Strange experience, indeed! But theonly constant thing throughout the experience and the fluctuating selveswas awareness, the pure light of knowing.

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Since then, I know in the depths of my being that beyond the appearancesof and beliefs and stories about myself, I am awareness, the space of

knowingness, ordinary, natural to any living being. This is the beauty ofnatural, ordinary realisation. The only difference is the ability to reflect

that awareness back to itself so that it shines continually in conscious

attention.

Koosraj KORA VENCIAH

koosradha@gmail.com

Mauritius.