Kindergarten Cop

Excuse me. Shithead. You shouldn't be here. I know. Ask forat least $ okay? I'll get as muchas I can. You hide. His wife took his kidand a couple of million... and we won'tget a thousand. Shut upand stay hidden. I told himI was coming alone. Hey, Mr. Crisp. How's it going? You said you had informationabout my family. Yeah, yeah, I do. Well, let's have it. Well, it's going to cost you. Like $? Okay, that's obviouslynot my final offer. would be fine. I mean, more than fine. Just tell me whatyou have, Danny... and I'll take

good care of you. Okay. That sounds fair. I was doing a deliveryfor Corky last week out of state... and I ran into your ex. How'd she look? She looked great,Mr. Crisp. Yeah. She changed her hairand stuff... but she looked likea million dollars. In fact, she looked likeabout $million. Did she see you? No. I waschanging a tire... and suddenly, there she wasacross the street... taking her kidinto this school. My boy? Looked great. He looked very healthy. It's a real nice, healthy placewhere they're living. It snows in winter there. Danny... where are they?

At the schoolwhere I saw them... Astoria Elementary School. That's... It's in Astoria, Oregon. All right. Did you tellanyone else this? No. No way. Hey, I'm not stupid,Mr. Crisp. You're not? Danny. Danny! No! Danny! Danny! Get up! Don't you die on me! I didn't kill him.I didn't kill him. Was it Crisp? I don't know.I didn't see anything. What are you doing? Hey, hey, hey! Stop it! Don't do that! Don't go anywhere.

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Let me go! No! Let me off of him! I don't likewhat you've done. I really don't like it. It feels terrible,and it looks dreadful. I'm trying my best. Maybe your bestisn't good enough. I'm back. Oh, great.Well, that was fast. It was easy. I have some great, exciting,wonderful news, Mother. Oh, you alwaysexaggerate, Cullen. Everything is alwaysgreat, terrific. So, what's so great? I just found outwhere they're hiding. Are you serious?You really know where he is? Manicure, Mr. Crisp? Oh, how could Isay no to you? Tell me. What's happened? Just let mehandle this myself, Mother.

I know what I'm doing. Everything is under control. It's all right.I'm a police officer. Crisp, you're under arrest. Put your hands on your head and get up! Kimble, not again! Your hands! They're up. When will youleave me alone? Drop the gun!Drop the gun! Hey, I'm a police officer. This is an arrest. This man's crazy.Look at him. He'll kill me.You're just going to stand there? Freeze! I'm a cop! I'm Detective John Kimble. This man is under arrest. I'm checking. You can't just walk in here and put a gun in my face. I'm trying to get a manicure.

I have witnesses. I have a witness, too. It's murder one this time. Now you're mine. The bastard handcuffed meto a dead man! A dead man! Come on. Sit down. Now, did Danny ever say what Crisp's wife looked like? No. Did he ever say what nameshe was using in Oregon? He didn't say anything. Look, I justwant to go home. After the lineup,I'll drive you home. I'll even buy you dinner. I'll even cook you dinner. I'm not doing any lineup... and there ain't jack shityou can do about it! I've been after Crispfor four years... and she's lettingmy key witness walk away? Kimble, sit down! Sit down. - Sit.

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- Sit. Now listen to me. He killed your boyfriend. All you have to dois point your finger... and we can put him awayforyears. He wasn't my boyfriend.I hardly knew the guy. I know you're in there. I know what you want,but you ain't getting it. No lineup, no testimony. So shove your handcuffsup your ass! Now let me out of here! Slow down! Open it and let me out! O'Hara, meet Kimble. Kimble's been on thisa long time. Hi. Let me take care of Cindy. She'll make Crisp.I guarantee it. What are you going to do... handcuff her to your car and take her for a ride? I'm not going to offerto cook her dinner.

Kimble, hold on a second. L... Difficult man.Got to get to know him. Oh, I can't wait. Hey, baby. What you mean, "Hey, baby"? ¿Dónde vas? Shit! Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble... and I love my car. I'll keep an eyeon it for you. You got a beautiful ride. Shit. Who doeshe think he is? He's lucky I didn'tkick his ass. Open up. You can't come in. Thank you. What the fuck? All right... party's over. Everyone go home. Next time, my place. So who are you, man?

Shit! I'm the party-pooper. Hi, Cindy. Do you mind if I sit down? No. Sit down, man. Oh, it's so niceto see you again. What are you doing here,you asshole? Cindy, I don't like youusing foul language... not a classy girllike you. Don't you haveanything better to do? You don't understand. I have nothing else to do... and I have nowhere else to go. Why are you staringat me like that? I like you, Cindy. I'm going to bearound you a lot... days, nights,weekends, holidays. No. No, you can't. Yes, I can. I'm going tohang out with you

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until the end of time. All right, move it in. Let's go. Step onto the numbers. Face front. Everybody, hands to your side. That's the creep. Who? Number five. That's him. Good. Very good. Mr. Crisp, you will beremanded into custody until your trial. Bailiff, remove the prisoner. Shh. Don't say anything. Just take it easy. I'll take care of it.Trust me. You know what to do? I'm your mother, aren't I? Mind if I talkto my friend a little bit? I'm not talking to anybodywithout my lawyer. He's right in here. You give me the names of your drug suppliers

and distributors... and I'll tell the judge what a nice, cooperative killeryou are. You think the jury'sgoing to convict me on the testimonyof that junkie? You could be right. But what about your wife? You remember her? All that hard-earned drug money she stole from you? How much was it... $million? I bet she would makea much better witness. Kimble, you've wasted yearschasing after me... and what has itgotten you, hmm? Nothing. I'll be out in a week... and you'll still beeating take-out food in that dump you live in. Yeah, I know allabout you, Kimble. Without me, you wouldn'teven have a life. My old lady left

'cause of the money. Yours left because she justcouldn't stand the sight of you. I've never seen anyoneso little eat so much. Yeah, I know.I'm hypoglycemic. If I don't eat regularly... I get a little nuts. So... where you from? Austria. How long you been a cop? I been a cop foryears. My father was a cop... my brother was a cop... my mother was a cop's wife. And I have no hobbies. You two are booked on the firstflight to Portland tomorrow. Locate Crisp's wifeand offer her immunity in exchange forher testimony against him. No offense to O'Hallahan... but this is my case,and I work alone. He works alone. Not anymore. She's going in undercover

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as a substitutekindergarten teacher. Not exactly a job for you. I used to be a teacher. We'll be fine. What do I do? She locates the kid... you find the motherand the cash... and Crisp spends his lifemaking license plates. Bon voyage. Oh, and, Kimble,the name's O'Hara. OK. Here's the wife at . Real name's Rachel Myatt. She's from Hannibal, Missouri,class of '. Cheerleader, first violin in the school orchestra... captain of the girls'softball team. Her ambition was "To travel... experience life... and meet interesting people." Like Crisp. Okay. Relax. Don't let him get to you.

That's heryears later. It's a great shot of an ear. You get in touchwith her parents? They're both dead. The only relativeshe's got left is the kid. Hey. Okay. This is the only picturewe have of him. Cullen Jr., aged months. That helps much. It's the best I could do. Breakfast, sir? Ma'am? Please. No. No, no. That's a first. Listen, I wasjust thinking. Maybe we shouldtake a wild stab at getting to know each other before we have to pretendwe're married. What do you want to know? How long have we been married? A long time. People won't expect usto talk much to each other.

I want to read it, too. Stop it. Please? Let me take a look. Hey, come here. If you don't stopscrewing around back there... this is whatI'll do with you. Ohh. What's the matter? I don't know. I just don't feel so good. You hungry? I got to get outof here right now. Get those tree stumpsout of my way before I vomit all over them. Is your wife okay, sir? Compared to what? Maybe it was the burrito. Or it could've been the sausages. I don't think it wasthe crab salad. It couldn'thave been the doughnuts. Excuse me. Oh, I hate feeling like this.

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I hate it, too. Uh-oh. Uh-oh what? Uh-oh... pull over. Now? Yeah. Please hurry. The key! Give me the key! Do you need a hand? You okay? I'm fine. I'll be fine. Class startsat: in the morning. I'll be fine. You look much better already. Oh. Kindergarten,-year-olds. That's why I quit teaching,you know. I got so sickof other people's kids. I was afraid thatI'd never want to have any of my own. I have a son. He's . I remember

when he was. He lives with his motherand stepfather. Aah! What's the matter? What... is... that? Oh, excuse me.I forgot to tell you. This is my ferret. He doesn't bite.Don't worry. Come on.Come on out. This is all I need...an obstacle. A goddamn obstacle. He sends me an obstacle. Here. Oh, God. Don't worry. I'm going to make it. I just need a minute. I'll be readyin just a minute. I just got... Oh, God. How do I look?

Take off the gun. That's a good idea. The little bastardsare going to eat you alive. Get some rest,and don't worry. I've been working undercoverfor a long time. They're-year-olds. How much troublecan they be? On second thought... take the gun. Matthew... I sent you tothe principal's office because you punched Jenny. I know. She poisonedyour hamsters. She told me all about it... and she's very sorry. And I'm sorry thatI didn't believe you. - But you shouldn't punch people.- But she... Mr. Kimble, Miss Schlowskiwill see you now. Let's go back to class. Can I help you? I'm John Kimble,your new kindergarten teacher.

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We were expectinga Miss O'Hara. There's beena change of plan. Four weeks intothe new semester... my superintendent told meI had to replace Mrs. Hagley... a kindergarten teacherofyears' experience... with an undercoverpolice officer... and he wouldn't even tell me why. I don't suppose youwould do me the courtesy of filling me in. I can't do that. Oh. You can't do that. I'm watching you. All I have to dois tell my parents that you'rewith the police... and they'll yank their kids out of this school so fast... we'd have to close. And don't you think I won't if I feel my childrenare in any danger.

They're not in danger. I assume you havesome teaching experience. They wouldn't havesent me otherwise. Just wait here a minute. Everybody sit downon the carpet! Good morning, everyone. Good morning, Miss Schlowski. Your teacher, Mrs. Hagley had to go onan important trip. Where'd she go? That doesn't matter. Did she die? No, Lowell.She went to see someone. Did they die? No, Lowell. Everyone dies, you know. I know, but notfor a long, long time. Now, until Mrs. Hagleycomes back... we have someone special to help. This is Mr. Kimble... your new kindergarten teacher. Now, let's everybody say,"Good morning, Mr. Kimble."

Good morning, Mr. Kimble. Good morning. They're all yours. I'll be watching you. Hi. How are you? I'm very happy to be here. First I would liketo just get to know you. Quiet. I'm going to ask youa bunch of questions. I want to have themanswered immediately. How many of youwere born in Astoria? Raise your hands.Let's see them. Okay, hmm. Now, anyone that was notborn in Astoria... somewhere outsidelike California... raise your hands. Yes. I need to goto the bathroom. Okay. You can go. Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.

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Thanks for the tip. Yes? I need to goto the bathroom... and I can't getthese things off. I'll get someoneto help you. I'll be right back, okay? You've learned thatthe "e" is often silent when it immediatelyfollows another vowel. Now write and saythese words... Oh, um... class, uh, Catherine... can you take overfor me, please? Thank you. "E" is the fifth letterof the alphabet. Yes, can I help you? I have a problem. Mr. Kimble... I need to go real bad. First day? Yes. I'll take care of her. Thank you.

You know, kindergartenis like the ocean. Don't turn your back on it. They're okay. Don't worry. Everything is under control. No. Monsters. What are you doing with this? Aren't you goingto break it up? No. Two more days of this... and he'll quit. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up. No. Don't start this. Aah! Attention! This is your new class mascot. What happened to your dog? This is not a dog. This is a ferret. What's a ferret? That's a ferret. Oh!

If he bites you,you get rabies and die. No. That's not true. He never bites. Can I pet him? Sure, but one at a time, okay? Good. Okay, next one.Come on. Yes. Good. Yeah. Good. Now we're having fun. What's thatsupposed to mean? Mrs. Hagleyis a lot better than you. Is she? Is she really? My mom's a teacherin this school... and she's a lot betterthan you, too. Great. On Monday nights,my mom tutors and Mrs. Quinntakes care of me. She's better than you, too. Great. And Frankie,my swimming teacher...

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and Gus, my T-ball coach,are better than you, too. I really appreciateyour honesty. You happen to know someonethat's not better than me? I don't knowthat many people. John? Are you there? How did it go? Go away. It went that well, huh? You take over tomorrow. And blow our cover? Can't do it. They're horrible. Tell me about it. He's gay. What kind of a manteaches kindergarten? He's obviously gay. A male kindergarten teacherisn't what I'm used to. Samantha calls him"The giant." There he is. Where, honey? Holy cow, is thatyour new teacher?

Yeah. Oh, my God. What are you doing? - I'm not wearing makeup.- None of us are. You're married.You're allowed to look like slobs. Be good. I'll be backto pick you up. Good morning,Mr. Kimble. Good morning. I told you he was big. Play with the kids, honey. Hi. I'm Jillian,Sylvester's mom. Do you have a minute? I'd like to speak with you. Sure. Please. Thank you. A male kindergarten teacher. That's unusual. You're not fromaround here, are you? No. I'm not. Neither am I. Huh.

Anyway... um... I have a small problem. Yes? You see, Sylvester's father doesn't live with us anymore... and I've just beenworried about Sylvester. He's been actinga little strange lately... You know, doing odd things. Like what? Well, it seemsthat's he's becoming a little obsessedwith playing with dolls. You know, it's weird. I think I can help youwith that. Really? He uses the dollsto look up girls' skirts. I caught himdoing it yesterday. Oh. Oh, well,that's a relief. But I'll keepan eye on him, okay? Thank you. Does Sylvesterever see his father?

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No. No, not since he was. His father lives in California. That is far away. Mm-hmm. Well, if you give mehis name and number... I could talk to him about takingmore interest in his son. That's very kind,but I don't think so. But it's tough on Sylvester,don't you think? No. No, what's tough on Sylvester is his father left usfor another man. Are you married,Mr. Kimble? No, I'm not. He's not married, Mom! Welcome to Astoria... the single-parent capitalof America. Thank you for your time. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Statesof America... and to the republic

for which it stands... one nation, under God... indivisible... with libertyand justice for all. Are these all your lunches? You mean you eat otherpeople's lunches? Stop it! Now we're going to dosomething extremely fun. We're going to playa game called... "Who is my daddyand what does he do?" Yes? Is your daddy a fireman? He's probably big.Is he a wrestler? A basketball coach? No, no. What's the matter? I have a headache. It might be a tumor. It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor at all. What I meant was... you tell me who is your daddy and what does he do?

Oh. Get it? We start right here. You. My dad repairs carsdriven by women who are pinheads. My dad doesn't doanything since the crash. My dad gives money to peoplethat doesn't have money... then people use that money... then they giveother money back and they give the same amount of money back to my dad. My dad doesn't livewith us anymore. He lives in New Yorkand drives a taxi. My mom hopes he's going to diereal soon. My dad watches TVall day long. My dad works on computers... and he's, um, the bossof his company... and, um, he has a mustacheand a beard. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He doesn't have thatmuch hair because...

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and he...his head is so big that he can't wear any hats. My dad's divorced. My mom's divorced. My dad, um,is a psychologist... and he helps peoplethat are hurt or lost their feelings... and, um, that's it. Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine. Good. I don't knowwhat my dad does. I haven't seen himin a long time. He lives in France. My dad is a gynecologist... and he looks at vaginasall day long. Mi papá trabajaen la casa... y él juega conmigo mucho. Thank you.Very good. Okay. Next, uh... What's his namewith his back to me? His name's Zach Sullivan.

He doesn't like anyoneto talk to him. He's a poo-poo head. He's a poo-poo face. He's a ca-ca poo-poo. He's a poo-poo ca-ca. - Poo-poo ca-ca!- Poo-poo ca-ca! - Poo-poo ca-ca!- Poo-poo ca-ca! Quiet. That's enough. Hey, Zach. Did your daddyteach you this game? Come on, Zach.Let's all play together. It's so much more fun. Leave me alone! What's that? It's a fire alarm! Come on, come on. Everyone together!Come on. I'm on fire! Come on. All together! I'm on fire! Very straight.Very straight.

Come on, come on.Get all together. Everything together.Come on. Come on. Quiet. Quiet! Come on. Shh! Quiet. Well, we're all glad the kindergarten classcould join us. That's four minutes. You should be ashamedof yourselves. All the other grades... your times were an improvement... but they're stillnot good enough. But they're stillnot good enough. I'm very disappointed. All right, let's getback into school. Mrs. Sullivan! Mrs. Sullivan! So the doctor saysit's a stomach flu. I'm fine. I caneat anything I want. Let's find a restaurant. Can we talk business?

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There areboysin the classroom. So far I have three possible suspects,one likely. Here's a picture.You listening? I'm listening. His name's Zach Sullivan.What do you think? He's cute.Doesn't anybody eat around here? Listen, he's a dead ringerfor Crisp. Look. Maybe. Come on, John.I'm hungry. A table for two.Thank you very much. Two hot dogs. Two hot dogs? Mr. Kimble!Mr. Kimble! Dominic. It's him, Mom. Joyce. Hello, Joyce. Dominic has been a great help. He's a good kid. Who's that? Who? Her.

Oh, that? Uh, that is, uh... I am his sister. Oh, really? I wouldn't have guessed. You have to excuse my brother. He has no manners. My name is Ursula.Wonderful to meet you. I'm visiting herefrom Austria. I'm Joyce Paulmarie.I work at John's school. Ah. And this is Dominic. Nice to meet you. Would you liketo join us for dinner? - No.- Ja. Ja. Yes, of course.That would be great. Hi. There willbe four of us. Table . Why did you tell heryou were my sister? Relax, butch.The love doctor is here.

Come to me.I want to start. Okay. I wanta rib eye steak with mashed potatoes and a large green salad. Oh, no.Wait a minute. I want to start with the spicychicken wings. Are they the tiny oneswithout meat? Actually, it's quitea large serving. Ah, good. Ooh, good arms. And a large bowlof the clam chowder. Uh, and the blueberry pie with ice cream for dessert. Ja. I like how they talk. I've been trying to get toknow the parents... but some of themare avoiding me. Some of themare like that. It's a strange town that way... especially with new arrivals.

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What do you mean? I think a lot of people that come to small towns are trying to getaway from something or they'rehiding something. Like what? Well, for example,what brought you here? Me? Well,there was an opening for a kindergarten teacher. Yeah, but what made youbecome a kindergarten teacher? I mean, it is a bit unusual. John is a bit unusual. Well... You are. I was born in Austria. My father was a teacher. My mother was a teacher. So is Ursula. Ja. We have a tradition in Austria where we followthe footsteps of our parents. So when I movedto this country... I taught geography

and physical educationin Arizona... and then I coached basketball at an all-girls schoolin Rhode Island, but... none of it made mereally happy. Why weren't you happy? Ja. Why weren't you happy? Well, I got tired ofteaching teenagers... because by the timethey came to me... I felt there wasn'tmuch I could do with them. I realized that the real actionis in kindergarten. How long have you beenteaching kindergarten? It's my second day. Oh. Ooh, excuse me,but it's good. It is good. Thanks again. Nice to meet you. Thank you. Bye. I had a great time. Ja, me, too.

Well, Kimble,I think you scored. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? I'm only interested in her because she worksat the school. She knows the childrenand the parents. If you were any stiffer... we could take you surfing. Now, I know youlike that woman. What is your problem? The only problem I've got is that I'm doing your job. You should becleaning up the paint and reading storiesabout bears that go shopping. I'm stuck with your job. Yeah. You are. That's right. I am. Look, you're goingto be out of here in a few days. You told me yourselfyou had a few good leads. You'll be back dealingwith junkies and murderers in no time.

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They're pushing me around. Who? The kids. They're walking all over me. Listen, Kimble. You got to handle this like any other police situation. You walk into it showing fear... you're dead... and those kids know you're scared. No fear. No fear. Today we're going to playa new fun game. It's called "police school." I'm going to be your sheriff. You're going to bemy deputy trainees. Come on. Stop whining. You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now.You belong to me! You're not going to haveyour mommies here

to wipe your tushies. Oh, no. It's time to turnthis mush into muscles. No more complaining. No more, "I have to goto the bathroom." There is no bathroom! Now, the first thing thedeputy trainees have to learn is to freezewhenever you hear this. Now, the next time you hearthis whistle... each one of you getone toy. How many? One! Good. Then bring it backto the carpet... pronto. Ready? Wait for it. Wait for it. Sit down. Ready? Go quickly. Get your toy. Go. Go for it.

Yes. Very fast. Good. Quickly. Bring the toyback to the carpet. Bring it backto the carpet. Quick, quick, quick. Back to the carpet. Quickly. Emma. Emma... take your toyto the carpet. I'm not a policeman.I'm a princess. Take your toyback to the carpet. I'm not a policeman! I'm a princess. Take it back! All right. Very good. You did very well. Now we're going toplay another game. When you heartwo whistle blows... take your toy backwhere you got it and come right back.

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How many whistle blows? - Two!- Two! Good. Ready? Go. Come on. Come right backto the carpet. Yes. It works. This is great. Faster, faster. Come on. Yes. Come back. Terrific. This is working. Wait. I mean, you'revery good deputies. Your sheriffis proud of you. . . . . Wait! Take me. Down. Up. Down. Yes, yes, yes! You've got it. Yes, Wanda. Good. Very good.

Big circles. Big circles. Good. Now do the same thing.Way back. And down in big circles. Big circles. Yes. This is a fire drill! This is a fire drill. Run to the door. Dominic, don't forget Ferret. Yes. It's a fire drill. Come on. Oh, this is terrible. Come on. Come on. . . . . . One more. Come on.Down and up. Yes! Yes! Zach is the winner. Come on, you guys.

March,. March,. Swing your arms. . Swing them high. . . . Wow. ! Reading, writing, arithmetic. Reading, writing, arithmetic! Too much homeworkmakes me sick. Too much homeworkmakes me sick! When it's timeto pass the test... When it's timeto pass the test... kindergarten is the best. Kindergarten is the best. Yay! E-l-E-l-O And on that farmhe had a duck E-l-E-l-O All right.Take your milk.

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It makes you big and strong. It's story time, Mr. Kimble. All right. We all like this one... and if you read us a story now... everybody will go to sleep. All right. I used to read this to my son. What's his name? Who? Your son. Oh, Alex is his name. Where is he? He lives with his mother. You see, his mother and I... we are... Divorced. I know. What's a divorce? It's when your daddylives someplace else and comes overto take you places... and your mommy sayshe's a deadbeat. No. It's when the daddy doesn't want to seehis little boy anymore. That's not what it is.

Why don't you want to seeyour little boy? Was he bad? No, he was not bad. It wasn't his fault at all. You see... his mommy and I,we just nev... Just sit down, okay? Let me just start reading. Why don't you all lie down? Okay. Good. And rest. "If you were a birdand lived on high you'd lean on the windwhen the wind came by. You'd say to the windwhen it took you away... That's whereI wanted to go today. Where am I going?I don't quite know. What does it matterwhere people go? Down to the woodwhere the bluebells grow. Anywhere. Anywhere. I don't know." Huh!

Hi. Hi. I didn't meanto startle you. I must have dozed off. I can't believe yougot them all to sleep. I worked them hard. I was wondering if... you'd like to cometo my place for dinner tomorrow night. I would like that. Yes. Great. Well, here arethe directions. How about::? That would be fine. What? Um... You... You've gota little mustache. Oh, it must befrom the milk. Well, I'd betterget back to class. I'll see you tomorrow. See you tomorrow.

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Freeze! No! No. This is Henry Shoop... my fiancé. Hi. Your fiancé? Yeah, my fiancé. Henry, this isobviously my partner... John Kimble. Oh, jeez. Uh... Hi. How you doing? Let me get this... and I'll be right out. Oh! It's okay, honey. I'll be right out. It's my birthday. Well, congratulations. Thanks. He came up herejust to surprise me. And he made me my favorite...pasta a olio. I love you, Henry. I love you, too, Phoebes.

Uh... Well, I've gotto head back tonight. I've got to work. Henry's a chef. I'm a chef. You're marrying a chef? I'm marryinga great chef. That figures. You mean that,a great chef? Of course.You're a genius, Henry. Not just a good chef? Well, nice to meet you. Congratulations.Happy birthday. Thanks.You want some of this? It wasn't overcooked? You're the best. It wasn't a little overcooked? No. Al dente. Zach. Excuse me. I'm John Kimble,Zach's teacher. I didn't knowhe was following me. Hi. I've been leaving messageson your machine.

I'm sorry.Things have been hectic. What about now? Uh... Go for a little walk. Your teacher and Ihave to talk. Uh... I know what this is about. I suppose you sawthe bruises on Zach's legs? My husband has startedcounseling about this. He's been goingfor three weeks now. Please don't bringthe school system into it. It will make matters worse. He's beating you, too? If he wasn't goingto counseling... I could see the pointof saying something... but I'm sure there won't beany more occurrences. You won't say anything,will you? Please? If he does it again,I press charges. Zach. You got the stuff?

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Thanks, man. Here, lady.I gave her your stuff. Where's the rest of my money? Who are you, old lady? Your fairy godmother. Come in. Hi. It took all day... but I found out Zach Sullivanand his mother... aren't related to Crisp.I just found out. Oh. I got a bottle of winefor your big date... It's not a date, I know. But Joyce shouldn't think that. Thanks. I don't thinkit's a good idea. Quickest way to slip updoing undercover work is doing thingsyou normally wouldn't do. Wait a minute. You mean you wouldn't take wine to a womanwho's invited you for dinner? Of course you would. And flowers as well.Here you go. She'll love them.

Well, here we are. Wow. This isquite a place. They must be paying you a lot more thanthey're paying me. I wish it was my house. It belongs to a friend of mine. After the divorce,he said we could stay here in exchangefor keeping the place up. You must have nice friends. Yes, I do. Dinner won't be readyfor a few minutes. Can you start a fire? It shouldn't be a problem. I'll show youwhere the wood is. Come on. Come on! Right here. In here. This is my secret hiding spot. Wow. This is amazing. I made it myself. What's this? Don't touch that!

It's a laser... and it'll burn a holeright through you. Okay. I'll be careful. Oh, don't shoot. - Boom! Boom!- Don't shoot. I put up these lasersto protect us. To protect you from what? The bad people. Do you want to seesomething else? Come on. What? See that? You mean the tower? I'm going to plant oneof my lasers on that antenna. But I'll have to do it at night. Otherwise the bad peoplewill know where it is. Last one to the tableis a rotten banana! Have you guys had fun? Yeah. Be right out! What you doing in there? I'm lost. Where is the dining room?

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This house is huge. - Follow me, silly.- Whew. These are beautiful picturesof you and Dominic. Thank you. When I was puttingDominic to bed... he mentioned you had a son, too. That's right.But I'm divorced. I'm lucky. My ex got remarriedto a very nice man. He's really good to my son. I see him a lot. What about your ex-husband? Does he see Dominic a lot? Uh, no. After the divorce,he moved back to France. What about child supportand alimony? Does he take care of you? I'm sorry aboutbeing so personal. I was so glad to see him go I didn't worryabout that part. Dominic doesn't even remember him. I prefer it that way. Are you sure?

Yeah. Why? Well, Dominic was talking to me about having to move around a lot to keep the bad people away. Bad people? Something about having to leave in the middle of the night and leave his toys behind. Oh, God. I thought he'dforgotten about that. I'm sorry.I didn't mean to upset you. It's not your fault. The truth is, my ex-husbandis a walking nightmare. He didn't leave us, we left him. He found out where we were and tried to kidnap Dominic. He doesn't know where we are now... and I'd like to keep it that way. Of course. I'm glad he's in Franceand doesn't live nearby. He doesn't live in France. I told Dominicthat he lived in France.

I didn't know who my ex-husband waswhen I married him. I was young and stupid,and I made a mistake. I don't want Dominicto pay for it. Look, nobody around hereknows anything about this. I can't even believeI told you. You have to promise meyou won't tell anyone. You can trust me. That's very good. Perfect. Okay. Let's try it again. Mary, you first. Fourscores and seven years ago. Fourscores and seven years ago. Our forefathers brought... Four fathers? Mr. Kimble, did Lincolnhave four fathers? Uh... I had three fathers... One named Walt,two named Ralph. Did Lincoln havefour mothers? As a matter of fact,he had two mothers.

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Unfortunately,the first one died. I knew it. Um... Okay. Let's take a break.Come on. I want you to walk aroundin a circle. Go. Start. Come on. Well, Joyce's storyabout the house checked out. It belongs to a guywho only uses it during the ski season. She's got under $in the bank... no stocks, no bonds, no other assetsunder the name Joyce Paulmarie. Her teacher's salary is less than mine,which is pathetic. Keep looking. Check for offshoreaccounts under Dominic's name... She doesn't live like someonewith millions of dollars. She doesn't evenseem the type. Kimble, this might not be her. It's got to be her. Why? Because shedoesn't want to have

anything to dowith her ex-husband? I know it's her. Know what I think? You want it to be her. You really like her,and it's scaring you. Excuse me! Surprise! Ladies! Ladies, surprise. Obviously, I'm notinto baking cakes... so I broughtthese little things to donatefor the raffle prizes. Who the hell is that? She's the oneI was telling you about. Her husband ran awaywith another guy. It's been terrible for her. You're not gettingmellow on me, are you? . ... Hi. Come on.. Come on. Go, go.

I see they stuck youwith the Gettysburg Address this year. They sure did. Company, halt! Um... About last night... I've been thinkingabout it, and... I'm glad I told youall those things. So am I. Um... I-I betterget going. Yeah. I haveto get going, too. Is everything okay? Yeah. See you tomorrow at the fair. I'm looking forward to it. What are you looking at? Ha ha ha! Shh! March!. I was just talkingto the teacher, that's all. Yeah. Don't laugh. Okay. I'm proud of you.Keep going. I'm sorry Zach's late.The car wouldn't start.

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You be a good boy. I love you. Hi, champ. Oh! What's the matter? Oh, no. I fell down again. Hey, wait a minute. Uh... I forgot to close the doorto the basement... and Zach had a bad fall. You all say the same thing,"He fell down." Don't you haveanything better to say? I don't have tojustify myself to you! You have no righttalking to me like that. How are you doing? You must be the Mr. Kimblewe hear so much about. You must be the Mr. Kimblewe hear so much about. You hit the kid, I hit you. You bastard! You're not worth it. I'm pressing charges against you.

Excuse me, everybody. I'm sorry.I shouldn't have hit the man... especially in front of the children. It was a mistake. I checked you out. There is no record of youever having taught at any public school... in Californiaor anywhere else. Mr. Kimble... you have no teaching experiencewhatsoever, do you? Someone finally noticed. I thoughtthe introduction of a ferret was a horrible idea... but the childrenseemed to like it. I thought the use of your police whistlewas outrageous... That's all I could think of. Please allow me to finish. - Sorry.- But it worked. I have no idea what kindof police officer you are... but you're a very good teacher. Thank you.

Now, will you tell me something?Don't lie. What did it feel liketo hit that son of a bitch? It felt great. Yeah. Well, tomorrow morning. Bright and early. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah, that's her. And there goesour goddamn case. Tell O'Hara and Kimbletheir witness is dead... so Crisp is going to walk. We want them back here. We've got lotsof other cases to clear. O'Hara says they thinkthey've located the wife. And the money? They're looking into it. Have them tell the wife we're letting Crisp go,and he knows where she is. If she wants police protection,she'll produce the money. Sorry it took so long, Cullen.

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Hey, you're looking great. I love you, Mother. We're going to bea family again, son. Go! Fourscore and seven years ago Fourscore and seven years ago our forefathers brought forthon this continent our forefathers brought forthon this continent a new nation a new nation conceived in liberty conceived in liberty and dedicatedto the proposition and dedicatedto the proposition that all menare created equal that all menare created equal and that government and that government of the people by the people and for the people shall not perishfrom this earth.

Thank you very much. Oh! I'd like to introduce youto our kindergarten teacher. He came to usas a substitute teacher... and he's proven to bea wonderful asset. Let's welcome himinto our community and hope that he considers staying on a permanent basis. Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. John Kimble. Nice town. Hmm. Ahh! Smell that fresh air. We should think aboutbuying something up here... like some log cabinin the woods near a lake. Kids lovethat outdoor kind of stuff. I'll be in the pharmacy. Try not to step in anything. I'd like to help you. But we're pretty muchout of the race cars... unless... This is the last one.

It's still in great shape. If you don't mind waiting,I'll wrap it up. I'll knock % off... I have a better idea. I'll pay you twicewhat he's charging. I promised my boyI'd get him one. I'd love to help you... but my kid's been bugging mesince Christmas. I'll pay you four timeswhat it's worth. Get your kidsomething even better. Sorry.Can you gift-wrap it? Hanna, could youwrap that, please? No harm in trying. Tourists. Great, Dominic.You're doing well. I'll wait over here for you, okay? Okay. Great day, huh? We've run out of time. We've got to press Joyce now. What do you mean? - Cindy O.D.'d last night.

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- Shit. They released Crisp this morning. He's probably on his way here. Salazar said if Joyceis Crisp's wife... she's got to cooperateabout the money... or she gets no police protection. Bastard. Ursula, how are you? What? I've got to tell you the truth. Her name's not Ursula. She's not my sister. I beg your pardon? We're not who you think we are. What is this? We're police officers. We know who you are... Rachel. This is a joke, right? No. This is no joke. You took $million. I think... Crisp knows where you are. He could be here any minute. Where's Dominic?

You'll get immunityfor your testimony... but we need you to help us. Where's Dominic? On a pony. We'll offer protectionif you tell us about the money. There's no money,you son of a bitch. There never was! No, it's not fair! I'm not finished yet! The bad peoplehave found us. What do you mean, "no money"? Why are you mad at Mr. Kimble? Because he's a jerk. Leave me alone! Joyce, wait! Wait! If you didn't take the money... why is he after you? He doesn't want me.He wants Dominic. She's going to run again. Yeah. Unless we do something about it. Yeah.

Hey, snap out of it! Daryl. Daryl. I'm sorry. I wanted to give youa second chance. cash. What is wrong with you? I'm still not gettingthrough to you, am I, Daryl? Mother, got this great surprisefor Junior. That'll be .. .. Children's aspirin,children's decongestant... antihistamine. A thermometer? A lot of flugoing around, right? It is the season. The boy's not sick. Doesn't hurt to take precautions. Mother, you are goingto make him sick. You stuffed all this crap into me,and nothing was wrong. That's why there wasnothing wrong with you. Now, how can youargue with that? Joyce!

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Joyce! Dominic! You bastard!Where's Dominic? I don't know.What happened? You led him here.If he has Dominic, I'll kill you. Let go of me! We'll find him. Stop it. We'll find him. We'll find him. Dominic! Did he say anythingbefore he left? He said somethingabout getting his lasers. Lasers? I thinkI know where he is. Aah! Help! Help! Help! Somebody! Help! Hold on! I'll get him down. Help! Hold on. I'm right here. Good boy. All right. Just hold on. Okay. Just hold on.

Oh, good. Okay. I was going to put the lasersin the antenna. I know. Don't worryabout anything now. I got you.Just hold on tight now. Hold on tight, okay? Good. If I lost Dominic... I don't thinkI could go on living. You're not going to lose him. That's right. I'm not. Cullen said I stole his money so these creeps wouldfollow us for a reward. You don't know what he's like. Oh, yes, I do. I know him well. That's why I don'twant him to get you two. Can't trust you or anybody. You can trust me. That's what you said before. And you turned out to be a cop. L... I didn't meanto hurt you. I wish I was

a kindergarten teacher... but I'm not. I'm a cop. That's all I know how to be. I have to get out of here. You have a son. If you were me,you'd do the same thing. I have a son I've hardly seenin seven years. I don't mean anything to him. My ex-wife got remarried. She doesn't want meto be part of his life. I lost my family. I should neverhave let it happen. Why are you telling meall of this? I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose Dominic. I swear you'll never haveto run from him again. Don't worry about anything, okay? We're going to beright across the hall. Everything's going to be fine. We just wantto be extra careful. Thanks.

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Don't worry. Whoo! All right, all right.Settle down. Good morning. Good morning, Mr. Kimble. Sit down. It's very niceto see you all again. Meet my very good friend,Phoebe O'Hara. Good morning, Phoebe. Miss O'Harais going to talk to you about something very important. So pay attention to whatshe has to say, okay? Remember, no fear. Thanks. Yeah? Boys have a penis.Girls have a vagina. Well, you taught them the basics. That's important. Okay, now... today we're going to talk about something elsethat's really important. Today we're goingto talk about strangers.

If a stranger knockson your door... never answer the door. Because we never talkto strangers. Let's say that together. We never talk to strangers. Right. Can we talk to kids? Yeah, it's okay.You can talk to kids. What about dogs? Huh? Can we talk to dogs? Yeah, you can talk to dogs. But what you can't do... what you mustnever ever do is... never talk to strangers. On the kindergarten level... we try to emphasize the three C's: Caring, courtesy and courage. Courage. That's my philosophy, too. Are you a single parent,Mr. Green? No, my wife had to stay behind to complete the sale of our home.

I'm checking the schoolsbefore we buy a home here. Most kindergarten childrencan't read yet. My son can. He reads at?That's good. And writes.I taught him myself. He sounds likea special child. He is. He's a great athlete. Here's what you've waited for.The kindergarten. Have a look. Oh, Dominic, Dominic... Dominic is kingof the mountain! Way to go, Dominic. Here's your crown. Congratulations, Dominic. The king of Mount Kimble! Dominic. He looks odd, but he'sa wonderful teacher. Yes, I'm sure he is. Did you see Cullen Jr.? Yeah, yeah. She calls him Dominic. She'd always wanted

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to name him Dominic. What a dumb name. Put that cigar out.It's unhealthy for the kid. Then you make your aeroplanego up into the clouds. Check it out. Right. Okay, stay calm. Okay, it's probablya fire drill. Oh, man. Kimble, the hallway'sfull of smoke. Okay, this is a fire drill.Come on. This is the real thing. Just the way we practiced. Go out there. Fast. Just the waywe practiced it. Come on. Come on. It's only water.Don't be scared. Stay close to the wall.Let's go. Come on. Come on. Dominic, stay close to me, okay? Stay close to me.

Stay behind me. Don't get separated. Aah! Are you all right? Come on. Let's go. Dominic, wait! Dominic! Dominic! Help! Somebody help me! Help! Stranger! Stranger! Stranger!Stranger! Stranger! Stranger! Dominic!Where's Dominic? Dominic! Aah! Okay, stay together.Stay together. Stay together.Hold onto your partner. Okay, don't lag behind. Hold onto my hand. Stay together. Where's Dominic?

He's inside.Kimble's looking for him. Joyce! Joyce! Help! It's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay. I'm a fireman. I help people. Well, where's your hat? My hat? I love this. I can't fool my own boy. He's just years old. You're right. I'm no jerk fireman. I'm going to tell yousomething, Dominic. It's going to be hardfor you to understand... but you got to believe me. I'm your father, Dominic. Your father. Don't you recognize me? No. Sure you do.

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It's me. Don't you rememberTwinkle, twinkle, little star? We have the same kind of hands. Don't you remember? You're not my father.My father lives in France. Your mother told you that... but that's not true! I'm your father! I've been searchingfor you for five years. Help! Help! Dominic, I'm your father. You're going to haveto do what I say. Do you understand? Freeze! Don't you knowthere's a fire? We thought it was another drill. Well, get out! Yes, sir. Whoa, honey.That's a fire in there. I got a kid in there.I'm a cop. If I need a ticket fixed,I'll call you. In the meantime, stay out.

Go on. All right. Quiet, you hear me? Quiet. No! Rachel! Let go! Just what I need. Please, let him go. Let him go! How the helldo you get out of here? Please, please,don't do this! You're scaring him! Scared? Of course he's scared. You told him lies about me. My son doesn't know mebecause of you. Listen! Just listen. You stole him from me! Please, give him back. Don't touch him! Aah! Dominic, I had to do it! I didn't want to do it.She made me. Everything's goingto be okay, Dominic.

Dominic? Come back. We're getting out of here. Dominic? Going to starta whole new family. Aah! Dominic! Gotcha! I love you.Do you understand? Tell me you understand that. Say it. Say it! I understand. Daddy. Daddy. Hold it! Right there.Drop it! Hurry! Don't. Don't. He's not your hostage.He's your son. Drop it. On the floor. You'll do this to your own son? Drop it!I'm losing it! Hurry! Relax. I'm putting it down. Hurry!

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Here it is. Here it is. Just don't harm the boy, okay? Good. Good. That's smart. All right. Why don't you let the boy go now? The boy is mine! He's my boy! You get your own goddamn family! Aah! No! Are you okay? I'm okay. Get Dominic. Okay. Dominic! Dominic! Where's my grandson? I don't know. Where's my grandson? Go to hell. That's where you're going,you son of a bitch! You're not so toughwithout your car... are you? Mr. Kimble,are you all right?

Oh, I hate this. Nah, he doesn'twant to eat that. He's a tough guy. Tough guys don't eat Jell-O. I'll come back later. Hi. Hi. How you feeling? Much better. How about you? I'll live. Check out of here.This stuff will kill you. Just don't throw up on me. I'm not goingto throw up on you... but I am going to kiss you. Phoebe. Thanks. Thanks, partner. Sure. How's everybody feeling today? I brought goodies.Did I do that? Give me the flowers. I got some goodies and... I got it caught. And something

I cooked myself. I almost didn't recognize youwith all your clothes on. You look good yourself. Aah! Did l... I'm sorry. The wedding. Yeah. Uh... You're comingto the wedding, right? Is it safe? I wouldn't miss this for the world. So... where do we sendthe invitation? Hmm? They're all yours. Hi, kids. Mr. Kimble! I'm back. Yay! Didn't join the union until... Class, excuse me. Uh-oh. They're going to do it. Yay!

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