Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected] Skill Focus: Communication & Managing...

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected]

Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict

The Pearls

Skill Focus: Communications & Managing Conflict

Kiki Maurey OBEExecutive Coach & Speaker



developing your leadership skills

Being an effective leader means developing the ability to communicate the business and/or change agenda, thereby positively unifying a group of people around a clear set of values and measurable goals.



you cannot NOT communicate

Communication is a complex set of signals and modes of human interaction. We cannot but communicate constantly, not just via speaking and writing, but also our use of body language, our ability to listen, to understand, to empathise, to exchange information.

GREAT COMMUNICATIONS

POOR COMMUNICATIONS

CONFLICT & POOR MORALE



Negotiation & influence – Kiki: “The power to maximise mutually positive outcomes through a process of engagement, discussion and mutual understanding.”

Conflict - Thomas and Kilman: “The condition in which people’s concerns – the things they care about – appear to be incompatible.”

the overall AIM of communication?...

… to INFLUENCE AN OUTCOME OR A GOAL.


POOR COMMUNICATIONS




taking responsibility

Two options when your message doesn’t get through:

1. Blame people for being stupid, insensitive or somehow unreasonable, or

2. Take responsibility and change the way you communicate your message.


POOR COMMUNICATIONS




conflict - perspectives

• Personality clashes • Stress eg sustained peak

performance!!• Heavy workloads / inadequate

resources • Poor leadership / management • Lack of honesty and openness • Lack of clarity eg role, boundaries• and accountability• Lack of creativity, meaning and

autonomy• Cultural factors eg values and

expectations



how confident are you?

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communicating and negotiating… reflections

10mins on your individual experiences:

• one interaction that went well• one interaction that went wrong



dealing with difficult conversations

Managing conflict:

What are the different approaches?


POOR COMMUNICATIONS




3. DOMINATINGImposing or dictating –

win-loseGoing all out to win

Ignoring the needs & expectations of the other

4. COMPROMISINGSoft bargaining

Taking turnsModerating conclusions

- smaller win-win

2. OBLIGINGDoing a favour – lose-win

Being persuadedObeying authority

Deferring & Appeasing

5. INTEGRATINGReconciling – big win-win

Combining insights, sharing information,

OpennessRicher understanding

1. AVOIDINGAvoiding people

– lose-loseAvoiding issues

Postponing discussion

C O N C E R N F O R O T H E R S

CONCERN

FOR

SELF

your default style?



1. prepare perspectives and objectives

2. ‘stay in the moment’ and remain calm and assertive

3. don’t take things personally

4. use positive language

5. listen / redirect and defuse their anger

6. turn things around / encourage perspective

7. get them to own their solutions (own the moan!)

7 essentials for dealing with negative people


Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict12

people are more likely to say‘yes’ when…

• they like, identify with and trust you!

• they’ve put considerable investment into the discussions

• they’ve had a chance to explore‘what’s in it for them!’

• you’ve made minor concessions or trade-offs

• you’ve engaged and involved them throughout the process


Skill Focus: Communication & Managing Conflict13

people are more likely to say‘no’ when…

• they think it's been done before• it's possibly a new and daunting

idea• they feel threatened by change• they don't understand your idea• they’d rather take your idea for

themselves• they don't like you, trust you, or

can’t relate to you• it's just a bad idea, or maybe…• it’s a great idea presented in a bad

way!



Source: Rahim (2002) model of conflict styles – offers two overarching attitudes: • Your level of concern for yourself and

your own needs and wants, and• Your level of concern for others, their

needs and concerns.

Choose someone to discuss the model with, and complete the review over the page. Be honest - perhaps think about a current issue, and how your review might improve your future approach. Think about how you could improve your communicating, influencing and conflict management style.

reviewing your style



conflict reduction: some simple rules

Use perception to understand where they are coming from, and what might be a win-win

Establish your goal and ideal outcomes, seek creative outcomes

Don’t put it off by sweeping difficult conversations under the carpet



conflict reduction: some simple rules

SELF-MANAGEMENT:

• being over-emotional (caring-too-much)• being in too much of a rush (not-thinking-

enough)

Communicate, adapt the message, communicate, adapt the message…

Engage brain B4 mouth: Design ‘the message / communication’ for maximum positive impact



‘in-a-nutshell’ great communicators & influencers…

• Tell stories, paint mental pictures, illustrate with anecdotes

• Remain empathetic, and positive (conflict is ‘emotional’)

• Rehearse their style and approach (brain training!)

• Remember their posture, gestures, demeanour

• Not only listen, but ask questions, take notes and feed back

• Allow the other side to give their perspective or to tell ‘their stories’

• If you disagree do it more like this “… from my perspective, limited as it may be, I see things this way…”





any reflections and actions?

"Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Thomas Edison

Kiki Maurey MBA OBE: 07760 270 392 [email protected] Skill Focus: Communication & Managing...

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