Kathy Suerken, President TOC for Education [email protected] Menno Janssen, Project Director, FiRe...

Kathy Suerken, President TOC for Education [email protected] Menno Janssen, Project Director, FiRe Communication Consulting

TOC for Education

TOCTOC

Application to Bullying

1© TOC for Education, Inc.2014

What to Change? What are the negative consequences of bullying and underlying causes of the bully’s behavior?

What to Change to? What robust tools can be used and why will they work?

How to Cause the Change? How are these tools being used to get results?

Action Research: Singapore USA PhD Research; Poland Bullying Project: Netherlands

© TOC for Education, Inc.2014 2

Let’s clarify what we mean by bullying

Use of superior strength or influence to intimidate someone, typically to force him or her to do what one wants

Persecution, such as teasing

Name Calling/Verbal Abuse

Harassment

Habitual cruelty


The problem of bullying exists…

Classroom

Playground

Internet

Home

Office

And is a societal problem that is …..© TOC for Education, Inc.2014 4

© TOC for Education, Inc.2014

5

Fear Humiliation Fear

Loss of self

Esteem

Stress

Sometimes

Violence

Others?

Others?

Frustration


Distorted lesson on empowerment

What to Change?

What is the mutual effect on the bully, the bullied and the children who witness it?


Distorted lessons on empowerment

What to Change?

Bullying is unwanted behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.

The bully, the bullied and all who witness bullying are learning that power is derived by disempowering others.

That you can ‘win’ self esteem by making someone else ‘lose’ theirs. This is not the life skill children should be learning.

The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

Identify needs that are causing the bullying behaviorAddress root causesBreak the repetitive cycleHelp bullied cope with situationWork with children of all agesWork in mediation between 2 partiesWork in group settings with those doing the bullyingSolutions that acknowledge, respect and satisfy emotional needs of both sides in a problem situation.Enable ownership of the solution to those who must implement it

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Robust thinking and communication tools

To be effective, robust tools must:

We know that lecturing and punishments are not always effectiveWhat if we had

How to Cause the Change: TOC Thinking and Communication TOOLS

9© TOC for Education, Inc. 2014

Storyline: “ After recess, two 9 year old boys were sent to my room. Joel for calling Alex names and Alex for using vulgar language and biting Joel on his arm till it bled. Previously, I would have handled the problem and then sent them back to their classes. I would than have filed their case sheets in the Misbehavior File for future. But today I was looking forward to empowering these two boys to resolve their own conflict. I had just taken TOC training.

The situation lent itself very much to the use of the Negative Branch as the incident has just occurred and he was one of the main characters in it, Joel could draw the N.br very fast. In fact he extrapolated and said “ If we are sent to the VP’s office, we will miss out on revision. In introducing the technique and helping Joel and Alex think through the negative aspects of their behavior by themselves, I sincerely believe I have given them a framework on which they can critically assess any intend plans of action in future and modify them accordingly before carrying them out.

© TOC for Education, Inc. 2014 10

How to Cause the Change: Case Study of Wong Siew Shan, Vice Principal, Singapore

11 I call Alex names

Alex is upset

He uses vulgar language He bites me

I am hurt

I report to my teacher

Teacher questions us

I call Alex names

We are sent to VP office

We miss out on revision time

We do badly in CA

Everyone is unhappy

WANT/Action or

Decision

Satisfy the other side’sNEED

Satisfy one side’sNEED

Deal with the situation

effectively. Get the other

side’sWANT/Action or

Decision

--

A method to analyze different points of view without finger pointing and in a way that enables us to eliminate the conflict without compromising important needs.

How to Cause the Change: CLOUD


THE GOAL

Written by Alex and Joel, 9 yrs old students in a Singapore School. Provided by Vice Principal, Wong Siew Shan.

Play happily

together

Play happily

together

Alex needs to berespected


Joelneeds tohave fun


Joel wants to call Alex names


Alex doesn’t wantto be called names.Alex doesn’t want

to be called names.

Side 1Side 2

13 © TOC for Education, Inc. 2014

The GOAL/ Objective

Play happily

together

Play happily

together







Alex doesn’t wantto be called names.Alex doesn’t want

to be called names.

Side 1Side 2


Objective

In order to have fun, I want to call Alex names because….

1.I have fun seeing his reactions.

2. Only then, he answers me.

In order to be respected, I must not be called names because it upsets me

Solutions: I can invite him to play with me; I play games with him

Wong continues: “It was heartening to note how easily they got the hand of how to use the Cloud template.

On surfacing his assumption, he himself say that they did not stand up to scrutiny. In fact, he came up with his own solution. Joel could also understand Alex’s need to be respected.”

She concludes: “In empowering them, I have empowered myself and it felt wonderful.”

Case study available for download:http://www.tocforeducation.com/cloud-b/cb7.html

© TOC for Education, Inc. 2014 15

How to Cause the Change: Case Study of Wong Siew Shan, Vice Principal, Singapore

Have happy learners in

school

Have happy learners in

school

To be happy and not sad

To be happy and not sad

Evonne to learnthings


I want Evonne to come

to the school

I want Evonne to come

to the school

Evone doesn’t want to come to school

Evone doesn’t want to come to school

Side 1Side 2


The GOAL/ Objective

http://www.tocforeducation.com/cloud-b/cb1.html

Have Happy learners

at school

Have Happy learners

at schoolTo be happy and

not sadTo be happy and

not sad

I want Evonne to come to school

I want Evonne to come to school

Evonne doesn’t wantto come to

school..

Evonne doesn’t wantto come to

school..

Side 1Side 2


Objective

Assumption: Because Evonne can’t learn things that school has to teach unless sh’es in school.

Assumptions: Her Mom says she’s unhappy at school 1. The teacher yelled at her 2. Some of the boys call her Bon-Bon; 3 We don’t play with her 4. I look at her mean

Solutions: 1.We won’t call her any more names 2. We will play with her at recess. 3. Could you talk to my mom about letting me play with Evonne?


I’m a student assistance coordinator at a large high school where we were experiencing problems with seniors who were hazing freshmen or other new students. By hazing I mean they were trying to make them do ridiculous, humiliating or even painful things.

This cloud came from a group intervention I did with about 20 senior girls on hazing. I explained the concept of the cloud to the students, had them raise assumptions on only one side of the cloud and then identify solutions. Here is one example. It took about 30 minutes to get to solutions.


How to Cause the Change

Prepared for my future

Authority/power

Safety

Haze other students

Don’t haze other students

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The students made inferences between their wants and needs such as: It makes me look important; it happened to me; we are seniors and need to show our authority; it is a tradition.

As they went through this process, they came up with alternative ways to meet needs: “As seniors, we already have seniority. We could introduce ourselves to the freshmen and help them find there way around the campus. We should be the people they look up to admire, not run away from.

The result of this intervention? We did not experience any more hazing on our campus in the two school years since this intervention took place using the cloud. What a powerful tool to get students to really understand why they are doing something, what effect their actions have on others and to find alternative ways to meet their needs.

http://www.tocforeducation.com/cloud-b/cb2.html

19© TOC for Education, Inc.2014

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If so, is it important to understand what people really need?

Bullies are trying to meeting their self esteem needs by taking harmful actions that only superficially and temporarily meet their needs. If it does not have a lasting effect they continually repeat it. In order to break the cycle, they must identify for themselves (and therefore ‘own’) other ways to meet their emotional needs and that do not lead to negative consequences for them and others.


How to Cause the Change


A wealthy student was ‘picking on’ another student who was not ‘financially’ well off and who lived over the garage of his parent’s house and whose father took care of the wealthy family home and landscaping..

When the assistant principal used the Cloud with the wealthy student to try understand his actions, he discovered the boy’s emotional needs were not being met.The assumptions in the Cloud revealed that the wealthy student was left alone a lot while his parents travelled and he felt that they didn’t really care about him.

He shared that on Thanksgiving he looked through the window above the garage and saw the other boy and his family enjoying a wonderful family event. He told the Principal that he picked on the other student because he was jealous of his family life.

In describing this and a wide range of discipline issues at his school, (then)vice principal, Ben Walker, noted:

“Detentions, suspensions and, in one case, expulsion from the school only seemed to bring a temporary halt to the problem. After we started using TOC Peer Mediation, we were able to get to the root causes such as fear, jealously, etc. As these students grew in self-awareness, they no longer felt a need to harass others. I find the drop in these cases remarkable”


Edyta Sinacka-KubikEdyta Sinacka-KubikUniversity of GdanskUniversity of GdanskInstitute of PsychologyInstitute of Psychology

the project is a part of PhD thesis, the project is a part of PhD thesis, supervised by prof. M.Bogdanowiczsupervised by prof. M.Bogdanowicz

How to Cause the Change: Supportive Research

34.6

27.5

39.141.35

31.834.2

39.438.9

0

10

20

30

40

50TOC group before TOC group after

Motivation to learning

Antisocial behavior

Withdrawal Socialization

** ****

**

** Difference between averages statistically significant

37.2

30

35.8537.95

32.95

38.25 39.3538.4

0

10

20

30

40

50Control group before Control group after

TOC group gained significantly higher results in

Motivation to Learning ScaleMotivation to Learning Scale after experiment

TOC group gained significantly lower results in

Withdrawal ScaleWithdrawal Scale after experiment

TOC group gained significantly lower results in

Antisocial Behavior ScaleAntisocial Behavior Scale after experiment

TOC group gained significantly higher results in

Socialization ScaleSocialization Scale after experiment

TOC group during experiment made much

bigger progressbigger progress than control group

After experiment TOC group reveal significantly less less extragressive reaction extragressive reaction than before TOC programme.

After experiment TOC group try to solve problem in try to solve problem in an ingressive wayan ingressive way more often than before experiment

After experiment children from TOC group more often concentrate on finding solutionconcentrate on finding solution in a difficult situation than before the project.

To view complete presentation: http://www.tocforeducation.com/research.html

Using thinking diagrams to address bullying

A case study

In the beginning

- 2010: Primary school in South of Netherlands

- 1 ‘Bully class’ high percentage of bullying behavior

- Intervention by MeCuMa by using FiRe Communication

- FiRe Communication inspired by: TOCfE, Marcos, Sinti/Roma population, R. Wilde & P. Senge

- Successtory partly created by using TOCfE-tool

The application- 12 sessions for children during 6 months

- Involvement parents: first resistance, later cooperation

- By using FiRe Communication a dialouge could take place

Case study: Tim

Tim comes to school

Tim starts to beat children

There is a fight

Children start to ignore Tim

Tim feels sad

If Tim comes to school

And Tim starts to beat childrenThen there is a fight

If there is a fightAnd children start to ignore TimThen Tim feels sad

“What is the reason that Tim is showing this behavior”?

Tim comes to school

He tells about his morning

Children asking Tim questions

Tim tells about home

Children understand Tim

Tim feels heard

If Tim comes to schoolAnd he tells about his morningThen children asking Tim questions

If children asking Tim questionsAnd Tim tells about homeThen children understand Tim

If children understand TimThen Tim feels heard

The change

Current situation- ‘Ready to Choose’: development of special ‘anti-

bullying’ program

- Recenlty requested accrediation by Dutch youth institution

- Using TOCfE diagrams in lower part of primary school (‘Logisch...Toch?!- De nieuwe jurk van Lillie Logisch’) en higher part of primary school (‘Logisch...Toch?! - De avonturen van Lenn Logisch’)

Thank you for your attention

Kathy Suerken, President TOC for Education [email protected] Menno Janssen, Project Director, FiRe...

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