Kalia SMS Collection 1200

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r i s h i k a l i a @ k h a l s a . c o m

26 August 2010

1 What is MOM:

GOD couldn't be there with every child,

so he made MOTHER!!

She wipes your nose,

cleans your clothes,

sings for you.

She does not sleep in the night,

just to soothe your wails & cries.

Nobody knows that what you are today,

is all because of your MOTHER.....

2 A man asked GOD, what is LOVE?

GOD replied: Go to the garden and get the most beautiful flower.

Man returned empty handed & told that i found the most beautiful

flower but i kept walking in hope of a better one.

And then i realised that i had ignored the best one.

i went back but could not find it there.

GOD said – This is LOVE.

You don't value it when you have it

but repent when you lose it.

So never let your Dearest go.

3 What is the fastest thing on earth?

Bullet..?

NO

Sound..?

Not quite

Light..?

Almost

Answer: PRAYER

because Prayer reaches GOD

even before you say it..!

GOD BLESS YOU

4 F : Field of Love

R : Root of Joy

I : Island of GOD

E : End of Sorrow

N : Name of Hope

D : Door of Understanding

That's wht YOU are

My FRIEND

5 Reality is an illusion

created due to lack of alcohol.

-------------Sir Johnie Walker.

6 Puzzle: Letter after F +

half of 8 +

shadow of q +

opposite of d +

letter before M +

middle of sea +

2 * 18th letter +

middle of sun.

Answer to above:

GOD BLESS U

7 S_nrise

B_tterfly

Pict_re

L_nch

Bea_ty

F_n

M_sic

All are incomplete witho_t

"U"

That's why i miss "U" a lot..

8 Three Things to Watch:

Beauty, Behaviour, Action

Three Things to Control:

Tongue, Temper, Temptation

Three Things to LOVE:

Purity, Honesty, Hard Work

Now send it to Three lazy people as i did..

9 When everything goes wrong.. PUSH.

When you wish for something.. PUSH.

When people don't understand you.. PUSH.

When you wish for LOVE.. PUSH.

PUSH - Pray Until Something Happens..

10 Winning horse doesn't know why it runs in the race.

It runs because of beats and pains.

The larger you get pain, the stronger you become.

Life is a race;

GOD is your rider;

The harder he beats you, the stronger he makes you to win.

SO never distress.

GOD is driving you.

Be a winning horse..

11 Alone i can only say

but together we can shout.

Alone i can only smile

but together we can laugh.

Alone i can only live

but together we can celebrate.

That's being together..

12 Carry a heart that never hates,

Carry a smile that never fades,

Carry a touch that never hurts,

and always carry a relationship that never breaks.

13 Friendship is all about three things

-winning, losing n sharing

winning your friends heart,

losing your self ego,

and sharing joys n sorrows.

14 Shubham karoti kalyaanam,

arogya dhana sampadaa,

shatru buddhi vinashaya,

deepak jyoti namastute.

Wishing you n your family,

SHUBH DEEPAWALI.

15 In this world GOD made few sweet hearts..

amongst them HE made some sweeter hearts..

amongst them HE made a single sweetest heart..

Oh hello..tht's me.

16 We should take inspiration from the waves,

they rise n fall

but each time they fall

they never fail to rise again.

17 One day man asked GOD:

What's the difference between

your LOVE and my LOVE?

GOD smiled and replied:

A bird in sky is my LOVE

and a bird in cage is your LOVE..

18 Redefined Definitions:

Atom Bomb - An invention to end all inventions.

Cigarette - A pinch of tobacco with fire at one end n a fool at the other.

Lecture - The art of transfering a conscious person to a subconscious state.

Genius - See the sender's name

19 With gleam of Diyas & the echo of the Chants

May Happiness and Contentment fill your life.

Wishing you n your family

A Very Happy n Prosperous Deepawali.

20 DON ki talaash 11 mulkon ki police kar rahi hai,

par DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi naa-mumkin hai.

Aap khush-naseeb ho jo DON khud aapko Deepawali wish kar raha hai.

Happy Deepawali.

21 Drink karo to aankhein laal,

Mehndi lagaao to haath laal,

Kiss karo to lips laal,

Pakde gaye to hips laal,

Bach gaye to jiyo mere laal.

22 A baby boy and a baby girl were in a bath-tub taking bath.

Girls looks down at the boy and asks, “Can I touch it..?”

Boy: NO, NO..you have already broken your's..

23 Compare Love and Friendship:

Love - Friendship

Blind - Bright

Mad - Glad

Alone - Group

Fear - Joy

Silent - Rouse

Blank - Complete

Short - Everlasting

24 Colors are brightening up the scene,

the water sprinkling up high,

the holi is almost here..

so lets enjoy!!

Happy Holi to Everyone.

25 Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy U,

but to help U realise your hidden potential & powers.

Let difficulties know that U are DIFFICULT this year.

Happy New Year.

26 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i know it's a bit early to wish,

but i have got to wish LAKHS of smart & good looking people.

So i thought i will start with uncles & aunts first.

27 Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

----------Albert Einstein

28 i had opened an account for YOU at the

Universal Bank of GOD's Blessings

& deposited 365 days full of LOVE, FAITH, JOY & FULFILMENT!

Enjoy Withdrawing..

Happy New Year.

29 Is-se pehle ki is varsh ka antim suraj ast ho,

isse pehle ki 2006 ka calendar nasht ho,

aur isse pehle ki mobile network vyast ho,

Dua hai ki aane waala saal aapke liye,

Zabardast Ho.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

30 G - Go to bed

O - Off the light

O - Out of tension

D - Dreams come

N - Nice sleep

I - Ignore worry

G - Get fresh

H - Have a nice night

T - Thank to GOD.

Good Night & Take Care..

31 As day turns into night,

keep your worries off the sight,

no matter how tough world may seem,

You deserve the Best Dream!!

Good Night.

32 Can we do romance at night today?

i am in a good mood,

just a little bit of kissing and biting.

Reply me soon.

Yours lovingly,

“MOSQUITO”

33 Go to window,

look outside,

Someone is waiting for your smile,

found..?

"The Moon"

Yes!!

He came to wish you

GOOD NIGHT

34 i think your eyes are tired looking at this world.

Let your eye lashes hug each other for a few hours.

Happy journey into the Dream World..

Good Night!!

35 i wish moon always be full and bright

and you always be cool and right

whenever you go to switch off the light

remember that i m wishing you GOOD NIGHT!!

36 Let the devils guard you.

Mummies dance around you.

Vampires kiss you.

Frankanstein sing to you.

Draculas bite you.

Have a horrorful night.

Guoooooh Night..

37 Sorry to disturb you

at this time of the night.

If you are awake and free,

could you please do me a favour.

Please delete this message and sleep.

GOOD NIGHT...........!!

38 Touch your heart

Close your eyes

Make a wish

Say good night

Sky so wide

Stars so bright

Off the light

Sleep quiet

quiet

quiet..

39 Welcome to Sweet Dream Airlines,

all passengers on bed be ready

as the flight will be leaving soon to DreamLand;

close your eyes.

Takeoff..

GOOD NIGHT.

40 Wishing the sweetest night

to a sweet natured person..

GOD has been really kind..

May you sleep tight

n fall from bed tonight..

GOOD NIGHT!!

41 Santa was caught for speeding and produced in court.

Judge asked: 30 days or 300 rupees?

Santa replied: I will take money.

42 Doctor: Blood group of you and your wife is same.

Patient: Obviously, she has been sucking my blood since marriage.

43 Son: Dad, when did you go to Egypt?

Dad: Never.

Son: Then where did you get mummy from..?

44 D.O.S.T.I.

D - Dastak bhi na de

O - Or apna banaa le

S - Saari zindagi jo saath de

T - Takdeer jo sawaar de

I - Isi rishtey ka naam hai DOSTI

45 I like three things:

1. Pizza

2. Pepsi

3. YOU

Pizza to eat,

Pepsi to drink,

and YOU to..

Oh Hello.. who will clean the table..?

46 I pray for you..

A life that you truly deserve,

A life as good as your heart,

A life as bright as your smile, and

A life as wonderful as you are.

Have a Wonderful Day!!

47 Now Deepawali is over.

But i wish n pray for you

that you enjoy everyday as a Deepawali

with Peace n Happiness..

Be Happy.. Take Care..

48 Deepawali the Festival of Lights

gives you the reason to aspire

for a life full of shine and glitter!!

Wishing you and your family

a fun-filled Deepawali this year..

49 Har lecture ko mini skirt ki tarah hona chaahiye:

Itna chota ki sabka interest bana rahe,

aur itna bada ki zaroori topic cover ho jaaye.

50 Har diye so roshan ho aapki zindagi ki raahein,

har roshni ki kiran se roshan ho yeh fizaayein,

aapke liye Rabb se karte hain ye duaaein,

aapko Deepawali ki haardik shubh-kaamnaayein.

51 Pataakhon ki aawaaz se goonj rahaa sansaar,

deepak ki roshni aur apno ka pyaar,

mubaarak ho aapko,

Deepawali ka tyohaar sapariwaar..

52 Time would make us forget some persons,

but there would be some persons

who would make us to forget time.

They are our best of best friends..

JUST LIKE YOU!!

53 Din mein deepak jalaane se kya hoga,

raakh mein aag lagaane se kya hoga,

jab aapko aati nahi humaari yaad,

to aapko yaad dilaane se kya hoga..

54 Teri dooori ka ehsaas jab sataane lagaa,

tere saath beeta har lamhaa yaad aane lagaa,

jab-jab tujhse dooor jaane ka socha,

tu dil ke aur kareeb..aur kareeb aane lagaa.

55 The time since i met you,

i have realised that

a friend like you is

worth a million dollars.

So, if you don't mind..

"Shall i sell you..?"

56 Baadal garja magar barsaat nahi aai,

dil dhadkaa magar aawaaz nahi aai,

pura din guzarne ko hai,

kya ek baar bhi humaari yaad nahi aai..?

57 Yeh yaad hai tumhaari..ya yaadon mein tum ho,

yeh khwaab hain tumhaare..ya khwaabo mein tum ho,

hum nahi jaante humein bas itna bataa do,

hum jaan hain tumhaari..ya humaari jaan ho tum..

58 Aaj hum hain kal humaari yaadein hongi,

jab hum na honge tab humaari baatein hongi,

kabhi paltoge zindagi ke panne,

to shaayad aapki aankhon se bhi barsaatein hongi.

59 Humaari zindagi hai dost ki amaanat,

rakhna mere khuda sada unko salaamat,

dena unhe khushiyaan saare jahaan ki,

ban jaayein taareef woh har ek zubaan ki..

60 Phool - Khushboo ke liye,

Pyaar - Nibhaane ke liye,

Aankh - Dil churaane ke liye,

Khushi - Muskuraane ke liye,

Yeh SMS - Sirf aapko meri yaad dilaane ke liye.

61 You are my sweet friend..HO NA

i don't want you to KHONA

i want a place in your heart's KONA

otherwise i will start RONA

62 Koi new message hai kya..?

Agar hai to..

to please

DELETE kar de

kyunki

bhejna to tune hai nahi.

63 A real friend is a

Smile when you are sad,

Hope when you are disappointed,

Guide when you are lost,

Song when you are happy,

Company when you are lonely, n

Help when you are helpless.

64 All human beings have FIVE senses.

Some may have the Sixth sense.

But my friend you are a gifted person.

You have got the Seventh sense:

NONSENSE..!!

65 Attitude to LIVE:

Laugh like you have never cried.

Play like you have never lost.

Love like you have never been hurt.

Live like there is no tomorrow.

66 Be slow in choosing friends..

Slower in loosing them..

Because friendship is not an opportunity..

But it is a sweet responsibility.

67 Life is at its weakest when

there are more doubts than trust.

But life is at its strongest when

you learn how to trust inspite of the doubts.

68 Premi apni premika se:

Teri galiyon mein na rakhenge kadam aaj ke baad..

arre zaalim keechad bahut ho jaata hai barsaat ke baad.

69 Koi chiraag jalaata hai deewane ke liye,

koi chiraag jalaata hai parwaane ke liye,

hum chiraag jalaate hain unke liye

jo humein bhulaaye baithe hain kisi begaane ke liye.

70 Did i do anything wrong..?

Then why are you avoiding me..?

Atleast remember me once in a week.

It's really hurting me.

with love,

ur TooThBruSh.

71 Kabhi nam na ho yeh maasoom nigaahein,

meri aarzoo hai aap sadaa muskuraayein,

gham ke saaye hum talak hi rahein,

tere aashiyaane mein sadaa bahaarein hi aayein.

72 If you like my sms, i am smart.

If you save, you agree i am smart.

If you forward, you spread that i am smart.

And if you delete, you are jealous because i am smart.

73 Waqt ki raahon mein aap bhula de chaahe humein,

per hum aapko bhula nahi paayenge,

teri dosti ki kasam ae dost,

tu aawaaz de sapne mein..hum haqeeqat mein chale aayenge.

74 Dosti is something that no one can hate,

Dosti is a passion we can never rate,

Dosti can happen anytime early or late,

Dosti is the only medicine, without expiry date.

75 Chup rehte hain kahin koi khataa na ho jaaye,

khaamosh rehte hain kahin koi ruswaa na ho jaaye,

badi mushkil se banaa hai koi apna,

darte hain kahin woh juda na ho jaaye.

76 Life is full of - Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Gham..

When it ends - Na Tum Jaano Na Hum..

So lets do masti..who knows - Kal Ho Na Ho..

77 The importance of a good friend in our lives

is like that of HEARTBEATS.

Though they are not visible but

they silently support the gift called LIFE..

78 Itni choti nahi dosti humaari,

kaise soch liya kinaara aa gayaa,

lo phir ho gayi aapke mobile mein roshni,

ek baar phir sms humaaraa aa gaya..

79 Tum chaand ho jise sab yaad karte hain,

humaari kismat to taaron jaisi hai,

humein yaad karna to dooor,

log apni khushi ke liye humaare tootne tak ki fariyaad karte hain..

80 Bheegi hui aankhon ka yeh manzar na milega,

moti yeh kisi seep ke andar na milega,

aansu ko kabhi os ka katra na samajhna,

aisa tumhe chaahat ka samander na milega..

81 Engineers marte nahi..

zinda dafnaaye jaate hain..

har 6 mahino mein tadpaaye jaate hain..

kafan khol ke dekho..

to woh kabr mein bhi assignment likhte paaye jaate hain..

82 Always ask GOD to give you what you deserve,

not what you desire..

it's because your desires may be few,

but you deserve a lot..!!

83 Difficult to tell what Loving is like..

Impossible to tell what Missing is like..

May you never Miss whom you Love, &

May whom you Love Miss you always..

84 Not all the time I can be with you,

Not all the time I can please you.

Not all the time I am available for you to talk to,

But one thing is for sure,

i will care for you even when you don't expect me to.

85 Special Tea for You..

I mixed it with Love and Happiness..

but there is no sugar

because i know that you are very SWEET!!

86 Karoge yaad ek din is dosti ke zamaane ko,

chale jaayenge jab hum kabhi na waapis aane ko.

Chalega mehfil mein zikr humara,

to tum bhi dhoondoge tanhai do aansu bahaane ko..

87 Friends are like fishes..

you have to sit patient for a long time to catch one..

just like i caught you..

better stay nice or i will FRY you..

88 Night is a good time

to remember all the sweet things &

all sweet persons in your life..

So sleep well with your sweet memories

about me..

89 DOSTI dil hai dimaag nahi,

DOSTI soch hai aawaaz nahi,

Koi aankho se nahi dekh sakta DOSTI ka jazbaa,

Kyonki DOSTI ehsaas hai, andaaz nahi..

90 Every second GOD remembers you.

Every minute GOD blesses you.

Every hour GOD cares for you.

Because every day i pray for you,

"Bachcha moorakh hai..lekin apna favourite hai.."

91 Mausam chaahe badalte rahe,

par yaadon ke phool jaroor khilenge,

samay badlegaa, rishtey badlenge,

par hum dost the..hain..aur hameshaa rahenge..

92 Ik vaar Santa apne yaar de viah te

jaa ke naan zyaada khaa lenda hai,

te ghar aa ke badaa aukhaa hundaa hai

te flush wich beh ke kehndaa hai:

Rabba, ya Jaan kadh leh,

ya fer Naan kadh leh..

93 Agar din hai to raat bhi hogi,

hote ho kyon udaas, kabhi-kabhi baat bhi hogi,

itne pyaar se dosti ki hai,

zindagi rahi to mulaaqat bhi hogi.

94 Apna woh nahi jo paas aa gaya,

paraya woh nahi jo dooor chala gaya,

aane-jaane se nahi bante apne paraaye,

apna woh hai jo dil mein samaa gaya.

95 I decided to send you the

Cutest, Sweetest & Most Expensive Gift

in the World,

but that stupid postman shouted at me saying:

Get Out of the Post Box.

96 Kisi ne Dil badal liya,

kisi ne dhadkan badal li,

aap ke paas kuch bhi nahi tha badalne ko,

to aapne Mandir jaa kar Chappal hi badal li..?

97 In this cruel world

it is very difficult

to find a friend with

beautiful heart, pure feelings,

attractive personality & stylish looks.

So..

Kadar karo meri.

98 Ishq mohabbat to hazaaro karte hain,

ghum-e-judaai se woh sabhi darte hain,

hum to na ishq karte hain aur na mohabbat karte hain,

bus dosto ki ek muskaan pe marte hain..

99 Ishq mohabbat to hazaaro karte hain,

ghum-e-judaai se woh sabhi darte hain,

hum to na ishq karte hain aur na mohabbat karte hain,

bus dosto ki ek muskaan ke liye SMS karte hain..

100 Daulat hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,

daulat ke liye kar dun qurbaan yaari,

daulat ke liye tod dun dosti tumhaari,

ab tumse kya chupaana..

tum hi to ho daulat humaari.

101 Boy: Mummy, hum saare pathaake is dukaan se lenge.

Mom: Beta yeh shop nahi Girls Hostel hai.

Boy: Par papa to kehte hain ki

yahaan ek se ek pathaaka milta hai.

102 Once there was a CROW.

Uton pendi c SNOW.

Crow ne peeti WINE.

Crow ban gaya LION.

Ohne road te maareya LALKAARAA.

Truck thalle aa ke mar gaya VICHAARAA.

Moral: Ghar beh k pio.

103 Messages are not for time paas.

They silently say that

i am thinking of you right now &

also making you to think of me for a moment.

104 It is a fact that when babies are born

Doctors slap their face to make them start

crying n breathing so that their lungs expand.

But there are exceptional cases too,

like your's.

When you were born, the doctor slapped himself.

105 Someone remembers, somebody cares,

your name is whispered in somebody's prayers.

Keep the bright of sunshine in view,

someone is warmly thinking of YOU..

106 Waqt guzrega hum bikhar jaayenge,

kaun jaane ki hum kidhar jaayenge,

hum to ek parchaai hain,

yaad rakhna dost jahaan tanhaai mili

wahaa hum nazar aayenge..

107 Jaane kyon is jahaan mein aisa hota hai,

khushi jise hoti hai wahi rota hai,

umar bhar saath nibha na sake jo,

jaane kyon pyaar usi se hota hai.

108 Na mathe di lakeer vekhi na hatthaan te likhi taqdeer vekhi,

hanjuaan de vich dub gayaa yaar tera jad us ditasveer vekhi,

pher so na sakya jad sutta taan sapne ch bani oh heer vekhi,

oh heer banke saanu chadd challi hun yaar nu ban-da fakeer vekhin..

109 Phool sookh jaate hain ek waqt ke baad,

log badal jaate hain ek waqt ke baad,

apni dosti bhi tootegi ek waqt ke baad,

lekin woh waqt aayega meri maut ke baad.

110 Woh ek dost jo khuda sa lagta hai,

bahut paas hai phir bhi juda sa lagta hai,

bahut ghanto se aaya nahi message uska,

shaayad kisi baat per khafaa sa lagta hai.

111 Woh ek dost jo khuda sa lagta hai,

bahut paas hai phir bhi juda sa lagta hai,

kai dinno se aaya nahi message uska,

shaayad kisi baat per khafaa sa lagta hai.

112 Aapka chehre par kya Sweet Smile hai,

haath mein kya Raapchik Mobile hai,

mobile mein SMS ki kya Jhakkas File hai,

phir bhi SMS na karna kya Bhaav Khaane ka Style hai..??

113 Ek janaza dekh ke ladki muskuraai.

Ek bada bola: Beti, jawaan maut per yun muskuraaya nahi karte.

Ladki: Baba, kya karun..waada kiya tha, jab bhi milenge

muskura ke milenge..

114 Dil ne kaha aankh se:

Dekha karo kam, kyonki dekhte ho tum, tadapte hain hum.

Aankh ne kaha dil se:

Socha karo kam, kyunki sochte ho tum, rote hain hum.

115 *HAPPY NEW YEAR*

Soch rahe ho aaj kyon...?

Ab tum DON ko sikhaaoge kab wish karna hai.

DON ek din pehle wish kare ya 41 din pehle uski marzi.

116 Agar rakh sako to ek nishaani hun main,

aur kho do to sirf ek kahaani hun main,

rok paaye na jisko yeh saari duniya,

woh ek boond aankhon ka paani hun main..

117 Koi aankhon se baat kar leta hai,

koi aankhon mein mulaaqat kar leta hai,

bada mushkil hota hai jawaab dena,

jab koi khaamosh reh kar sawaal kar leta hai.

118 Valuing friendship is not merely

by seeing each other everyday.

What's more important is in our busy lives,

we remember each other.

119 Kaash koi exam result ka insurance karwaa deta,

to har exam ke pehle premium bharwaa dete,

paas hote to theek,

warna insurance claim karwaa lete..

120 Maikhaane mein jaam toot jaata hai,

ishq mein dil toot jaata hai,

na jaane kya rishta hai in dono mein,

jaam toote to ishq yaad aata hai..

dil toote to jaam yaad aata hai..

121 FRIEND is one who:

Finds you in a

Rush of people

Inspires you to do something is life and catch your

Emotions &

Never leaves you till

Death.

122 Things i like about u:

1. Your choice is very good (e.g. choosing me as friend)

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

Ab kya dekh rahe ho..?

Uske baad kabhi koi dhang ka kaam kiya hai..?

123 Ek pyaari si surat..

Ek mausam sa chehra..

Do jheel si aankhein..

Kuch meethi-meethi baatein..

Ek naazuk adaa..

Kuch masti kuch mazaa..

Thodi si sharaarat..

Bahut saari mohabbat..

Ek bholi si muskaan..

Ooncha udne ka armaan..

Sabse alag sabse juda..

Jiski hai pyaari har ek adaa..

Thanks aapne mere baare mein itna padhaa..

124 Is zamaane se bahut alag ho aap,

woh khush-kismat hain jinke paas ho aap,

humaare liye woh waqt hi haseen hai,

humein yaad kar jab dil se muskuraa lete ho aap.

125 For all the friendship you share,

for all the ways you care,

for all the times you are there,

my friend you are special and beyond compare..

just wanna say take care..

126 Money comes and goes,

Friends come and go,

Rain comes and goes,

Love comes and goes,

But if you loose your teeth at this age,

they will never come back.

So better message me everyday.

127 New Day, New Date,

New Times, New Morning,

New Afternoon, New Evening,

New Night..All are new.

But, you are my OLD Friend

but GOLD Friend!!

128 A girl comes late to class.

Prof: Why are you late?

Girl: Sir, a boy was following me.

Prof: Then how come you are late?

Girl: The boy was walking too slow.

129 Ae dil tu mohabbat karta kyon hai,

jo karta hai to phir tadapta kyon hai,

main dhadkan hun uski kehta tha mujhse,

phir aaj uska dil mere bina dhadakta kyon hai.

130 I am leaving the country.

Actually a celebrity is pregnant and

the media is suspecting me.

You also plan to move.

Her maid is pregnant too.

131 Saalon baad na jaane kya samaa hoga,

hum mein se na jaane kaun kahaan hoga,

phir milna hua to milenge yaadon mein,

jaise sookhe gulaab milte hain kitaabon mein.

132 Sarak gaya jis ghadi sir se naqaab uska,

le gayaa jaan meri zaalim hijaab uska,

mehekte rehte the jinse mere sham-o-sahar,

ab bhi pannon mein dabaa rakhaa hai gulaab uska,

jab bhi hoti hai koi baat shab-e-mehfil mein,

jikr hota hai her baat mein janaab uska.

133 De dua ho dard kam,

yeh ranjish-e-safar khatam,

lamhe to hain simat chale,

dooor tu, tera chaman.

134 Har kadam pe imtihaan leti hai zindagi,

har waqt naye sadme deti hai zindagi,

hum zindagi se shikwaa karein bhi to kaise,

ki AAP sa dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.

135 Jaam pe jaam peene se kya faayeda,

raat guzaari to saari utar jaaegi,

kisi ki aankhon se peo,

khuda kasam umar saari nashe mein guzar jaaegi.

136 Aapki yaad aai,

kalam uthaai aapki tasveer banaai.

Sochaa tha tasveer ko seene se lagaa kar rakhenge

per woh to bachchon ko daraane ke kaam aai.

137 Hum farz-e-dosti yun hi nibhaate rahenge,

waqt bewaqt yun hi sataate rahenge,

dua kariye ki umar bahut lambi ho hamaari,

nahin to yaad ban ke aapko rulate rahenge.

138 Gul ne gulshan se gulfam bheja hai,

sitaaron ne aasmaan se salaam bheja hai,

mubaarak ho aapko Nav Varsh

Hamne advance mein yeh paigaam bheja hai!!

139 Mujhe dard-e-ishq ka mazaa maloom hai.

dard-e-dil ki intehaa maloom hai,

mujhe muskuraane ki dua na do yaaro,

mujhe pal bhar muskuraane ki sazaa maloom hai.

140 Ishq dariya hai jiska saahil nahi hota,

har dil mohabbat ke kaabil nahi hota,

rota woh bhi hai jo dooba ishq ke saagar mein,

aur rota woh bhi hai jise ishq haasil nahi hota.

141 Bete hue lamho ko jab bhi yaad kiya humne,

gardish-e-waqt ko ru-ba-ru har baar kiya humne,

ek zakhm ubharta hai is dil mein,

jab jaam ka honto se ehtraam kiya humne.

Dooor hokar bhi tum aa jaate ho nazar ke saamne,

in palko ko jab bhi sangsaar kiya humne,

ae dost hum bhi ho chuke is ishq mein ghaayal,

aur apni zindagi ko barbaad kiya humne..

142 Andaaz-e-beaan haalaat ka koi aap se seekhe,

kaise karein jazbaat beaan koi aap se seekhe,

hum to yun hi uljhe hain apne khayaalaaton mein,

kaise kehte hain din ko raat koi aap se seekhe.

143 Tajjub hua mujhe padhe jab aapke alfaaz,

naacheez ko diya aapne izzat ka jahaaz,

seekha jinse humne saaz pakadna,

wahi kehte hain aaj kya hoti hai aawaaz.

144 Shaam-e-samandar, gham-e-vasl aur tanhaai,

dil ko teri yaad aa na jaaye..

Ret par reh na jaaye koi baaki nishaa,

chaand mein teri surat nazar aa na jaaye..

Giraft-e-bekhudi se hi kaayam hai maikadaa saare,

diljalo ki basti mein dilnasheen aa na jaaye..

Haayat ki ungaliyon par naachte hain hum,

guroor-e-naseeb zehen mein ab aa na jaaye..

145 Mithaa intezaar te intezaar naalon yaar mithaa,

mithaa pyaar te pyaar naalon mithi saadi yaari,

es ton mithaa kuch ni milnaa,

lab le tu duniyaa saari.

146 Swere thwadi yaad aai te thwanu miss kita,

dine yaad aai te hor v miss kita,

jad raati yaad aai phir miss kita,

te jad jaan te ban aai te sms kita.

147 Bahn phad ke rok laende taenu,

je chaldaa saada zor hunda,

asin tere pichche kyon rulde,

je tere warga koi hor hunda.

148 Husband returns home after drinking 'n says 2 wife :

Darling, aaj kuch aisi baat karo ke mere kadam zameen pe na tiken...

Wife: VE MOYAA....... FAANSI LAA LE

149 Ohnaa ne jagah jagah te naake laaye hoye ne,

Saare pange V tere hi paaye hoye ne,

2-4 Din gharon baahar na jaavin,

Baahar kutte fadan waale aaye hoye ne.

150 Wife: Tussi mainu kinna pyaar karde ho?

Pati: Shah Jahaan jinna.

Wife: Tussi V mere maran to baad Taj banaaoge?

Pati: Main ta kado da Agre plot lae ke baithaa haan..

teri hi der hai.

151 Hass hass ke katni zindagi yaaraan de naal,

dil la ke rakhna bahaaraan de naal,

ki hoyeaa je asi sohne nahi..

saadi yaari sohne yaar de naal.....!!

152 Makki di roti, nimbu da achaar,

suraj diyaan kirna, khushiyaan di bahaar,

chaand di chandni, te apneyan da pyaar,

Mubaarak hove ek Lohri da tyohaar.

153 Sunder mundriye,

HO..

Tera kaun vichaara,

HO..

Dulha bhatti wala,

HO..

Dulhe ne dhee vehaai,

HO..

Sadh shakkar paai,

HO..

Bas-bas

eh fad 10 rupe te agge vadh.

HAPPY LOHRI

154 Mungfli di khushbu te gur di mithaas,

makki de roti te sarson da saag,

dil di khushi te apneyaan da pyaar,

Mubaarak hove tuhaanu eh Lohri da tyohaar!!!

*HAPPY LOHRI*

155 Makki de roti te sarson da saag,

nachde ne saare te vich baldi aag,

dhol di awaaj te nachdi mutiyaar,

Mubaarak hove sarkaar Lohri da tyohaar.

HAPPY LOHRI!!

156 Hath wich mungfli,

muh wich reodi,

la ke ghut thodi thodi,

fer bolo.....

HAPPY LOHRI

157 Ki kariye lokkan da,

har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,

je sms na kariye taan kanjoos,

te je kariye taa vehla kehnde ne.....

158 How a romantic jatt will propose a girl?????

Teri boothi local bus wargi, mera ticket kataaun nu jee kardaa,

teri tor ni sohniye meri majh vargi, mera sangal paun nu jee kardaa.

159 Boy: Main keha sohneyo, jutti te badi sohni paai hoi hai.

Girl: Utaaroon kya?

Boy: Main keha pajaami te hor v sohni hai.....

160 Karwaa chauth di sawer wife uth ke sargi karan laggi.

Husband: Eh sawere-sawere ki rolla paaya hai?

Wife: Sutta reh kanjaraa, tera hi seaapaa karan laggi haan.

161 Tussi hasde ho saanu hasaan waaste,

tussi ronde ho saanu rulaan waaste,

tussi ik vaari russ ke te vekho sohniye,

assi mar jaavaange taenu manaan vaaste.....

162 Lady to punjab police-

Ji mere pati 5 din pehle gobhi laane gaye the,

abhi tak waapis nahi aaye.

Punjab Police Inspector-

Te hor koi sabzi bana lo.....

163 Wife: Kaash tussi sms hunde,

main zindagi bhar save kar ke rakhdi.

Husband: Kaash tussi v ringtone hunde,

main jado chaahe change kar sakdaa!!!!!

164 Sardaar apni beti ke liye 24 saal ka ladka dekhne Delhi gayaa.

Wahaan se biwi ko ph. karta hai:

"Oh bai toni di mummy,

24 da te koi ni milyeaa,

12-12 de hi do labh laan."

165 Ek raja apne kutte nu bahut pyaar karda c,

par kutte ne wazir nu wad ditta,

wazir ne raje nu kutte nu sazaa den lai keha

par raja ta kutte nu bahut pyaar karda c,

usne wazir nu keha ki

tu hi es nu saza de par

ohi saza main tainu dawaanga.

Wazir ne kutte nu ki saza ditti ki kutta mar gaya

par wazir fer v bach gaya..??

ANSWER: Wazir ne kutte

di poonch wich agg laa ditti.

166 Chota sardaar: Mummy, kal raati jado main

bathroom da darwaaja kholeyaa te light aape hi jag pai.

Mummy: Oye Khoteyaa, tu fer fridge wich susu kar ditta..

167 Santa to Doctor:

Mainu ik problem hai,

gall karde hoe mainu aadmi dikhaai ni sujhdaa.

Doctor: Aisa kab-kab hota hai?

Santa: Phone karte waqt.....

168 Do bhoot galaan kar rahe si.

Pehla bhoot: Yaar tu kadi sardaar dekhe ne?

Doosra bhoot: Sardaar-sardoor kuch ni hunde,

sab mann da vehm hai, dari na.

169 What has technology done?

Ik time siga, kukkad baang de ke jagaande si.....

ik aj da time hai,

asi kukkaddaan nu message bhej ke jagaa rahe haan.....

170 Ik baar ik banda gwaandiyaan de ghar manja laen lai gayaa,

gwaandi kehnda: Yaar saade ghar 2 hi manje ne

ik te main te mera baapu te

dooje te meri vohti te meri maa sonde ne.

Banda: Kanjaraa..manja nahi dena na deo

par soya te tareeke naal karo.

171 Dad: Beta, is baar 80% number leyaane aa tu paperaan ch.

Pappu: Don't worry dad, main 100% leaanwaagaa.

Dad: Kanjaraa, mazaak kardaa hai mere naal?

Pappu: Pehla mazaak kehde kanjar ne shuru kita si..

172 Sardaar: Oye banta, yeh roasted chicken

taa waise bada tasty hai,

par thoda ajeeb sa kyon lag rahaa hai?

Banto: Thoda jal gayaa sa ji,

is lai dettol lagaa ditti.

173 Its easy to die for a friend but

difficult to find a friend worth dying for..

Now that i have found you,

meri taa jaan nu seaapaa pe gayaa na.

174 A sardaar prays daily for two hours:

Hey Waheguru, meri lottery lagaa davo.

After 11 years Waheguru angrily appears and says:

Oye Khoteyaa, ik vaari ticket taan lae..

175 Dukh dil ch lako ke,

hanjoo naina ch pro ke,

tere aan di udeek aisi layi baithe haan,

kar tu yakeen saanu bhul jaan waaliye,

asi tere pichche duniya bhulaai baithe haan.

176 Laggi ik bimaari nu mudtaan beet gaiyaan,

dil te chaldi aari nu mudtaan beet gaiyaan,

ki samjhaavaan bebas apne naina nu,

ik dekhi shakl pyaari nu mudtaan beet gaiyaan.

177 Santa: Yaar main tainu kinni baar ph. kitta,

par tu phone hi nahi chukeyaa..?

Banta: Kyon chukaan, jehdaa main apne cell wich

30 Rs. de ke gaana lagwaayea hai

ohnu fer kaun sunega?????

178 Teacher: Oxygen ki khoj 1858 wich hoi.

Sardaar: Thank GOD, mera janm us ton pehla nahi hoyea,

nahi te main ghut-ghut ke mar jaata.

179 Sardaar (ladki ko chedte hue):

Hor sohneyo, ki haal aa..??

Ladki (Gusse mein)

Jo teri bhen da.

Sardaar: Woh to pregnant hai..

180 Yaara, yaari da maan rakhi,

dimaag ch nahi, meri aapne dil ch pehchaan rakhi,

main v manga dua eh hi rab kolo,

mere yaar nu har dukh to anjaan rakhi..

181 Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon badhaa ditti..?

Santa: Break fail ho gayaa hai,

accident hon to pehlaan hi aapaa ghar pahunchna hai..

182 Banta and his wife waiting for the train..

itne mein Punjab Mail aayi.

Banta bhaag kar train mein chadtaa hai and says to her wife

Jab Punjab Female aaye tab tu bhi aa jaana.

183 Arz kitta hai..

mathe te lahu.. sir te ret..

WAAH!!

Gaur karnaa..

mathe te lahu.. sir te ret..

kyonki..

Sajnaa ne phull maareyaa..

GAMLE SAMET..

WAAH!! WAAH!!

184 Ki hoya je lag gayi usnu mehndi,

aapaan v sehra sajaawaange,

saanu pata si oh saade naseeb wich nahi,

hun usdi choti behen fasaawaange.

185 Aap kaise hain,

main yahaan kushal mangal se hun,

ab aapki tabeeyat kaisi hai,

gaaon mein barsaat hui ki nahi,

aur maaji babuji kaise hain,

gudiya ki padhaai ke liye paise ka intezaam hua?

bahu se kehna sabhi ka khayaal rakhe.

abhi zameen ka batwaaraa hua ke nahi.

kajaariya gaai kaisi hai?

chaupaal par kusroo chacha ko mera jai raam kehna.

bitiya ki shaadi ke liye paise jodna shuru kar do,

ab sayaani ho gayi hai.

tumhaaraa dooor ka paas waala dadu.

Jawaab dena.

186 Be-rokke aaunde hawa de bulle ne,

teri udeek wich palkaan de boohe vi khulle ne,

paer saambh-saambh ke rakhin kitte phij na jaan,

thaan-thaan te mere hanju dulle ne.

187 Bukkaan wich nahi paani rehnde,

jadon baddal meeh varsaaunde ne,

aksar bhul jaaunde ne oh,

jehre bahuta pyaar jataaunde ne.

188 Birds + sky = lovely day

Forest + Animal = nature's gifts

Stars + Night = romantic night

You + Your Smile = Hai rabba..tussi v na bas, daraa hi dende ho.

189 Kuri waaleyan ne munde nu puchheya:

Tu non-veg khaa laenda..?

Munda: Haanji.

Sharaab..?

Haanji.

Smac..?

Haanji.

Jua..?

Haanji.

Sab kuch negative hi hai ki kuch positive vi hai..?

Munda: Haanji, HIV..

190 Ik munda ik kudi de piche kaafi der ton jaa reha c.

Kudi: Ve taenu samajh nahi aaundi,

teri maut hai ajj taenu bula rahi,

taenu darr nahi lagda,

meri bebe v piche-piche hai aa rahi.

Munda: Asin aashiq haan khaandaani,

saade bajurg v apna farz nibha rahe ne,

oh vekh teri bebe de piche,

saade bapu ji v aa rahe ne..

191 Happiness is a perfume..

You cannot spread on others

without getting a few drops on yourself..

So be Happy to make others Happy..

192 Naalaayaki ki 3 Nishaaniyan:

1. Hamesha free SMS padhte rehna.

2. Mobile incoming per lambi baat karna.

3. Neeche mat padhna.

Jo baat manaa karo wahi karna.

193 Vishwaas ban kar ke log zindagi mein aate hain,

khwaab banke aankhon mein samaa jaate hain,

pehle to yeh yakeen dilaate hain ke woh humaare hain,

fir na jaane kyon tanha chhod jaate hain.

194 Chemical Joke:

All electrons were having party.

Suddenly protons attacked them.

A hero comes and saves them.

They asked who are you?

He said: I am Bond..Covalent Bond..

195 Never cry for anyone in life

because for the one whom you cry,

doesn't deserve your tears &

the one who deserves it,

will never let you cry.

196 If i love myself

despite my infinite faults,

how can i hate anyone

at the glimpse of few faults..?

197 In life there are Five Things

you should not lose:

1. Character

2. Self-Respect

3. Hope

4. Heart

5.

and..

?????

Well, you know my name.

198 Two Great Facts in this World:

Fact 1: You cannot touch your lower lip with your tongue.

Fact 2: After reading fact 1, many idiots would try it.

199 Munna Bhai: Agar bina daanto waala kutta kaat le

to kya karne ka..?

Circuit: Bole to..bina sui ke 14 injection lene ka bhai.

200 Do you know the meaning of DAIRYMILK..?

Darling Always I Remember You,

Meet Immediately for a Long Kiss.

That's why girls ask for DAIRYMILK..

201 Birds that live in a lake will fly away

when the lake dries up.

But the lotus that grows in the same lake

will die with the lake.

That's the commitment in true friendship.

202 Hands in Hands, walk an extra mile,

Remember on this earth we are for a while,

Smile n make everyone Smile,

because tht's the wayto live the life in Style..

203 Friendship is like a violin,

music may stop now and then,

but strings are attached forever!

Likewise you may be in touch or not,

but you are always remembered.

204 Friendship is a language spoken by heart..

not written on a paper,

not given by pledge.

It is a promise renewed everytime

we keep in touch..

205 Chupke se chaand ki roshni aapki ho jaaye,

dheere se hawa aapko kuch keh jaaye,

dil se jise chaahte ho us-se maang lo,

Khuda se hum dua karenge woh aapka ho jaaye.

206 Dil ki mehfil mein ujaala kijiye,

roz pyaar bhare message kiya kijiye,

zindagi khoobsurat ban jaayegi dear..

apno ke liye thoda waqt nikaala kijiye.

207 Rishton ki dori kamzor hoti hai,

aankhon ki baatein dil ki chor hoti hain,

Khuda ne jab bhi poocha dosti ka matlab

humaari ungli aapki aur hoti hai.

208 Woh na aaye,

par unki yaad aa ke wafaa kar gayi..

Rahi tamanna har waqt milne ki,

mera aman-sukoon tabaah kar gayi..

Darr pe aahat suni bahut baar,

humne socha,

asar dua kar gayi..

Jab darwaazaa khola to koi na tha,

mazaak humaare saath hawaa kar gayi..

209 Taqdeer ne chaaha, taqdeer ne banaaya,

taqdeer ne humko tumse milaaya,

khushnaseeb the hum ya woh pal

jab tum sa anmol dost is zindagi mein aaya..

210 Aansuon mein na dhoondo humein,

dil mein bas jaayenge hum,

tamanna ho agar milne ki to

band aankhon mein bhi nazar aayenge hum.

211 Hum se dooor rehne waale,

hum tera intezaar karte hain,

tujhe paana to ik khwaab hai,

yeh jaante hue bhi hum

tujhi se pyaar karte hain..

212 Guzraa waqt jab bhi dil ki daastaan sunaayega,

tumko bhi ik shaks yaad aayega,

gaur se dekhna zindagi ke panno ko

kahin na kahin to humaara naam bhi nazar aayega..

213 Unki gali se mera janaaza nikla,

woh na nikle jinke liye janaaza nikla,

woh nikle to mere dost seeti bajaane lage,

rakh ke mera janaaza sab usse pataane lage..

214 Miss me or Hate me

Both are in my favour.

If you miss me,

i will always be in your heart.

If you hate me,

i will always be in ur mind.

215 Afgaani: Humaare registaan mein khush-aam-deed bolo

to waapis aawaaz aati hai..

amid..amid..

Himaachali: Humaare pahaadon mein i love you bolo

to waapis aawaaz aati hai..

love you..love you..

Punjabi: Oye es wich kehdi gall hai,

saade pind di gali wich aawaaz maaro teri maa di

te waapas aawaaz aaundi hai..

teri behen di..

216 Aaj deedaar, kal yaar,

parso pyaar, fir ikraar,

fir intezaar, fir takraar,

fir daraar, saari mehnat bekaar aur

at last ek aur DEVDAS in the beer-bar..

Good Night Yaar!!

217 O friend ji..tussi mithaa aam ho,

coca-cola da jaam ho,

sir dard ka baam ho,

saaraa kuch theek hai,

bas SMS nahi karde,

bas es waaste badnaam ho..

218 Mistakes are embarrasing when they happen..

But years later,

you have a collection of mistakes,

called Experience,

which leads you to Success!!

219 Hum dosti poori nibhana jaante hain,

zakhm tumhaare kitne bhi gehre hon,

hum davaa lagaana jaante hain,

humein bhoolne ki koshish na karna ae dost,

hum galaa dabaana bhi jaante hain.

220 If someone argues or makes fun of you,

Don't Mind it,

because it is the law of nature

that the tree which bears the sweetest fruits

gets the maximum number of stones.

221 Subha-shaam tumhaari yaad aati hai,

saari raat jagaati hai,

karne ko to kar lein SMS tumhein,

par customer care ki ek ladki hai jo

baar-baar balance low bataati hai..

222 Jo dost paas na hon,

woh dil ke kareeb hote hain.

Jinke paas dost na hon,

woh gareeb hote hain.

Jinke dost aap jaise hon,

woh khushnaseeb hote hain.

223 Jabse aapko jaana hai..

jabse aapko paaya hai..

har dua mein meri aapka naam aaya hai.

Dil karta hai poochu us Rabb se

ki Tune itna pyaara dost

kya sirf mere liye banaaya hai..

224 Har nazar ko ik nigaah ka haq hai,

har rooh ko ik aah ka haq hai,

hum bhi dil lekar aaye hain,

humein bhi ik gunaah ka haq hai..

225 Khuli jo aankhein to manzar ajeeb tha,

dard tha magar woh dil ke kareeb tha,

jinhe hum dhoondte the aathon ki lakiron mein,

woh to kisi aur ka naseeb tha..

226 Couple in theatre:

Husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhaari aatma se pyaar hai,

tumhaara jism to main kutton ko daal dun!!

Sardaar sitting on back seat: BHOW BHOW..BHOW BHOW..

227 Tu nahi to zindagi mein kya reh jaayega,

dooor tak tanhaayion ka silsila reh jaayega,

har kadam par saath chalna yaar,

warna tera yeh dost tanha reh jaayega.

228 Aankhon mein armaan diya karte hain,

hum logo ki neende chura liya karte hain,

ab se jab-jab aapki palkein jhukengi,

samajh lena hum tab-tab tumhe yaad kiya karte hain..

229 I may not be the most important person in your life..

but i am just sure that

one day when you hear my name

you would just smile n say,

"Hey, that's my friend.."

230 If i was a painter- you would be my Painting..

If i was an author- you would be my Story..

If i was a poet- you would be my Poem..

But unfortunately, i am a cartoonist.

231 Trust GOD, HE knows your future.

HE may not reveal it to you but

HE will walk with you as the future unfolds.

Don't trust the stars,

trust the ONE who made them.

232 Chale gaye hain dooor kuch pal ke liye,

magar aapke dil ke kareeb hain har pal ke liye,

kaise bhulaayenge aapko ek bhi pal ke liye,

jab ho chuki hai dosti har pal ke liye.

233 When you like someone deeply,

misunderstandings may arise..

but don't feel bad for it because

some misunderstandings are needed

for better understanding..

234 Night has ended for another day,

moening has come in a special way.

May you Smile like the sunny rays and

leaves your worries at the blue-blue bay..

235 You are walking on a long weak bridge,

it's really scary and you are afraid.

You saw me & asked my help.

But i said i am sorry, i can't.

You never realised i am busy

holding that bridge for you..

236 Jab paas ho tab khaas ho,

jab dooor ho tab ehsaas ho,

ankahee si aas ho,

jo na mite woh pyaas ho,

ab aur main kya kahun,

tum dil ke kitne paas ho..

237 Badalna nahi aata humein mausam ki tarah,

har rut mein unka intezaar karte hain..

na samet sakenge qayaamat tak,

itna unse hum pyaar karte hain..

238 Ek ajnabi se mujhe itna pyaar kyun hai,

inkaar karne par chaahat ka ikraar kyun hai,

use paana nahi meri taqdeer shaayad,

phir har mod pe usi ka intezaar kyun hai..?

239 Khoobiyaan itni to nahi hum mein,

ki kisi ke dil mein hum ghar banaa paayenge..

par bhoolna bhi aasaan na hoga humein,

aise pal zaroor de jaayenge..

240 Khirki khuli, zulfein udi,

socha husn-e-yaar ka deedaar tha.

Par zulfein hati, to manzar kuch aur tha,

kyonki woh to nahaaya hua sardaar tha..

241 Karni hai Khuda se guzaarish,

ki teri dosti ke siwa koi bandgi na mile,

har janam mein tere jaisa dost mile

ya fir kabhi zindagi na mile..

242 Friends are like street lights along the road.

They don't make the distance any shorter,

but they light up the path &

make the journey worthwhile!!

243 The happiest people

don't have everything in life..

They just make the best of everything

that life brings their way..

244 Marrying twice is right choice.

Explaining reason for having two wives,

"Monopoly is always demanding &

Competition improves service.."

245 Rishton ki ehmiyat bataate hain faasle,

par thoda tadpaate hain faasle,

bas itna samajh lijiye..

ki zindagi mein pyaar ka ehsaas dilaate hain faasle.

246 Easiest ways to die:

1. Have a cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

2. Have drinks daily - You will die 30 years early.

3. Love someone truly - You will die daily.

247 Yun to sadmo mein bhi hans lete the hum,

phir aaj kyun bewajah rone lage hain hum,

barson se hatheli khaali rahi humaari,

phir aaj kyon lagta hai ki sab khone lage hain hum..

248 Mohabbat mein laakhon zakhm khaae hain humne,

afsos unhe hum par aitbaar nahi,

mat poocho kya guzarti hai dil par

jab woh kehte hain humein tumse pyaar nahi.

249 Phulon ki mehek churaai nahi jaati,

suraj ki kirne chupaai nahi jaati,

kitni bhi soni ho apni girlfriend..

par dusre ki girlfriend bhulaai nahi jaati.

250 A boy goes to see a cabare dance.

His mother gets angry and asks him,

"Did you see anything there that

you were not supposed to see..?"

Boy: Yes, i saw dad.

251 Smile in pleasure, Smile in pain,

Smile when trouble spours like rain,

Smile when someone hurt you,

Smile because someone miss you.

252 Meri prem kahaani ka,

kya ajeeb ending tha..

Izhaar-e-Mohabbat kiya tha maine SMS se,

jo uski shaadi tak pending tha..

253 Aapki yaad mein tadap ke mar jaayenge,

mar gaye to aapka naam likh jaayenge,

Rabb ko rishwat de kar aapko bhi bulaayenge..

aur fir saath baith kar kurkure khaayenge!!

254 Tum achche, imaandaar, sanskaarwaan,

sunder, sushil, sabhya, dimaagdaar

logon se dooor rehna,

warna woh bhi bigad jaayenge.

255 Bichadte hue yaad de jaayenge,

khud sone se pehle tumko ek khwaab de jaayenge,

tumhe gila hai ki hum jawaab nahi dete..

saanson ke rukne se pehle har jawaab de jaayenge.

256 Khush rahe ya bahut udaas rahe,

zindagi tere aas-paas rahe..

kabhi sunhere khwaab ki tarah milna,

khili hui dhoop mein barsaat ki tarah milna..

257 Some joys are better expressed in silence

like a Smile holds more meaning than a laughter.

Once i asked myself,

"Did i enjoy meeting you in my life..?"

i just smiled.

258 Its nice feeling when you know that

someone loves you,

someone misses you,

someone needs you,

but it feels much better

when you know that

someone never forgets you.

259 Memories play a very confusing role..

They make you laugh when you remember

the time you cried together.

But make you cry when you remember

the time you laughed together.

260 Kuch pal hote hain kuch pal ke liye,

jee lein inhe har pal ke liye,

yeh waqt to ret ki tarah fisal jaayega,

de jaayega yaadein zindagi bhar ke liye..

261 Hasi ke raste per chala karo,

khushiyon ki mehek liya karo,

pyaar se dilon ko chuaa karo,

jab aapka dil udaas ho..

to is naacheez ko yaad kiya karo.

262 Silence is the best way to avoid many problems..

Smile is a powerful tool to solve many problems..

So have a Silent Smile Always!!

263 Dard hota hai duniya ko dikhaane ke liye,

har koi rota nahi aansu bahaane ke liye,

roothne ka mazaa tab aataa hai..

jab aap jaisa dost ho manaane ke liye.

264 Koi dooor ho kitna hi, kya gham hai..?

Magar woh apna hai, yeh kya kam hai..?

Chaahe na ho baat, na ho mulaaqat, kya gham hai..?

Yaad humein woh kar lein ek baar, yeh kya kam hai..?

265 Alvida keh kar jab koi aankho se dooor hota hai,

aankhein dekhti rehti hain magar dil majboor hota hai,

koi kahe na kahe zubaan se..

magar dil mein dard zaroor hota hai.

266 True bravery is to arrive home..

Fully Drunk..

A late Night Out..&

and..and..

Mom waiting with Jhaadu and u ask,

"Hey Mom, abhi tak safaai kar rahi ho..?"

267 Jab laila ko karna tha impress

to majnu ne khaai minto fresh..

Jab majnu ko karna ho impress

to laila ko utaarni hogi poori dress..

268 Relation means:

To Help Without Hesitation..

To Give Without Expectation..

To Love Without Limitation..&

To Remember even Without Communication..

269 Phool ban kar kya jeena..

ek din murjhaa jaaoge aur

dafnaa diye jaaoge.

Jeena hai to pathar ban ke jeeyo..

kabhi taraashe gaye to Khuda kehlaaoge.

270 Saying goodnight is

not just putting an end to a day.

It's a way of saying that

remember you before i go to sleep.

Hope you can feel the care that goes with it.

271 Babuji ne kaha ghar chhod do..

Maa ne kaha paaro ko chhod do..

Paro ne kaha daaru chhod do..

magar aapko kis kanjar ne kaha,

ki humein SMS karna chhod do.

272 43200 minutes 2592000 seconds are left.

A VERY-VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR..

Dekhi saadi yaari..

30 din pehlaan hi wish kar taa!!

273 You are strong as RUM..

Fine as WINE..

Cool as BEER..

Classic as WHISKY..

as Sophisticated as VODKA..

in short..

i am totally TUNN in your friendship.

274 Patient to Doctor:

Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai,

uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gayaa.

Doctor: Jaanta hun..

thappad ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi..

275 10 people beating a sardaar,

but he was laughing..

A man asked,

"Why are you laughing?"

Sardaar: Main Joginder hun,

yeh log mujhe Parminder samajh ke maar rahe hain!!

276 A innocent Dhamki:

As the thief was leaving the house,

the kid woke up and said,

"Mera school bag bhi le kar jaao..

warna main mummy ko uthaa doonga."

277 Never say thanks to someone who loves you,

Never say bye to someone who really needs you,

Never blame a person who really trusts you, &

Never forget a person who always remembers you..

278 Kasoor na unka hai na mera,

hum dono hi rasme nibhaate rahe,

woh dosti ka ehsaas dilaate rahe,

aur hum mohabbat chupaate rahe..

279 Closeness resides in heart.

So no matter how busy we are or

how far we are,

you are always remembered and

cared forever!!

280 Har dil mein dard chupa hota hai,

bayaan karne ka andaaz juda hota hai,

kuch ashqon mein dard ko baha dete hain..

aur kisi ki hansi mein bhi dard chupa hota hai.

281 Hi! Can you do me a favour please,

if you are not busy,

if you don't mind,

if it doesn't take much of your time, and

if you can do it for me,

can you..

SMILE Please..?

282 Rich in good luck..it's you.

Rich in good eyes..it's you.

Rich in good smile..it's you.

Rich by heart..it's you.

Rich in good friend.

Wait a minute..

it's me coz

i have you!

283 PYAR means:

P - Phone karna

Y - Yaad karna

A - Aazaadi khona

R - Rote rehna ki phone kab aayega.

284 Whenever i sit alone,

i just look at my hands and

see the criss-cross lines and

wonder which special line made me so lucky

to have a friend like you!

285 SMILE

S: Sets you free

M: Makes you special

I: Increases your face value

L: Lifts up your spirits

E: Erases all your tensions

So, please keep Smiling!!

286 Always make your absence felt,

in such a way that somebody misses you,

but don't let your absence be so long

that somebody starts learning to live without you..

287 Santa first time travelling in plane.

Plane began to run on run-way.

Santa got angry and said,

"Saalio, jahaaz ta agge hi char ghante late aa,

te tussi sadko-sadki paa liya."

288 If you have a heart

obey your mind

you can win the whole world.

If you have a mind that

obey your heart

you can win the love of so many hearts.

289 Love letter from Punjaban to Punjabi:

O mere dil de chaen, tere pichhe kutte paen.

Tu luteya mere dil da chaen, Rabb kare taenu keere paen.

Tere nain bade nashile, jiven jhaaru de teele.

Tu mere dil vich eddan vasea, jiven chikkad vich saand faseya.

Jaane-jigar jaane-tamanna, edhar aa teriyan lattan phanna.

290 Phool ban-kar muskuraana zindagi hai,

muskura ke gham bhulana zindagi hai,

mil kar log khush hote hain to kya hua..

bina mile dosti nibhana zindagi hai.

291 Raj: Meet my wife Divya.

Sunil: Oh! i know her.

Raj: Know her..How?

Sunil: We'd been sleeping together.

Raj: What the hell..

Sunil: 10 years ago..in the history class.

292 Is duniya mein dost kam milenge,

is duniya mein gham hi gham milenge,

jis mod par duniya nazar pher legi..

us mod par tumko hum hi hum milenge.

293 I pray to GOD that

any person who tries to

screw your happiness,

may his ass begin to itch &

may his hand grow shorter that

he can't reach his ass to scratch it.

294 If lover is like moon then

friends are like stars and

have you noticed that

the sky can look beautiful

without moon but

not without stars..

295 Milne ki khushi na bichadne ka gham,

na nigaahon mein aansoo, na udaas hain hum.

Kaise kahe ki kaise hain hum,

bas itna jaan lo ki

tum bin bahut akele hain hum.

296 To be a Good Professional

always start to study late for the exams because

it teaches how to manage Time and

tackle Emergencies..

297 Smile is a language of love

Smile is a way to get success

Smile is to win hearts

Smile improves your personality

So brush regularly..

298 Kuch unki adaaon ne loota, kuch unki inaayat maar gayi..

Hum raaz-e-mohabbat keh bhi na paaye, chup rehne ki aadat maar gayi..

Dil ne kiya majboor kai baar milne ko, jee bhar ke unko dekha na gaya,

nigaahon ki sharaafat maar gayi..

Dono ko hi hai shikaayat, ilzaam lagaayein kis par,

kuch dil ne humein barbaad kiya, kuch humaari kismat maar gayi..

299 Aasmaan ke taare aksar poochte hain humse,

"Kya tumhe aaj bhi intezaar hai uske laut aane ka..?"

aur yeh dil muskura ke kehta hai,

"Mujhe to ab tak yakin nahi hua

uske chale jaane ka."

300 Har koi pyaar ke liye tadapta hai,

har koi pyaar ke liye rota hai,

ae dost yeh dosti sada kaayam rakhna..

kyonki pyaar to sabse zyaada dosti mein hi hota hai.

301 Kabhi tum bhi humse baat kiya karo,

milne ki fariyaad kar liya karo,

ek hum hain jo hamesha shuruwaat karte hain..

kabhi tum bhi humko humse pehle yad kar liya karo.

302 Nigaahein kisi se mila kar to dekho,

dil ki baat kisi ko bataa kar to dekho,

sab aayenge khud tumhaare paas..

lagaataar ek hafte tak nahaa kar to dekho.

303 I am going away from your life.

I won't come again.

Yes, i m going to pass away.

I don't know whether you would be happy or sad

after knowing all this news.

Yours knowingly,

2006

304 In life all failures are due to two reasons:

1. Actionless Thoughts, &

2. Thoughtless Actions

So one should take care of both

Thoughts n Actions..

305 Simta unka waqt kuch is kadar,

ki hum tamaam umar ik pal ki aarzoo mein dikhe..

chaahat thi rishi ko bas ik jhalak ki,

par kaafir ghar se burka kar nikle..

306 Ab dosto se kya asraar rishi,

jab dushmano par tamaam haqeeqat bayaan kar dee..

(asraar: secrets)

307 Jab rishi se mulaaqat hi na hui,

to guftgu kahan mumkin thi..

sach kehta hun dost,

zindagi khaamosh aur tanha thi.

308 Pyaar koi khel nahi jis mein jeet ya haar ho,

pyaar koi cheez bhi nahi jo har waqt tayyar ho,

pyaar woh hai jab pata ho kisi ne nahi aana,

phir bhi intezaar ho..

309 A rose is always a rose

whether in golden pot or dustbin.

Same way you are always my friend

whether you are in

central jail or mental hospital..

310 Who am i?

a step when you are stopped,

a touch when you are lost,

a word when you are quiet,

a smile when you are sad,

a shoulder when you cry, &

a friend who would be there always..

311 Aapko bhool jaaun naamumkin si baat hai,

aapko na ho yakeen yeh aur baat hai,

jab tak rahegi saans tab tak rahoge yaad..

yeh saans toot jaaye to aur baat hai.

312 Old age is when one starts

turning off lights

for economical

rather than

romantic reasons.

313 Father: What were the two hardest things

you learnt in the college..?

Son: Opening beer bottles with teeth &

lighting 10 cigarettes with onle one match stick..

314 How did Santa tried to kill a bird??

????

?????

He took it to the top of a building &

dropped it from there to die..

315 Hum dooor sahi..majboor sahi,

par yaad tumhaari aati hai,

tum saans wahaan par lete ho,

par badboo yahaan tak aati hai.

316 Chaand ko bhi akele mein sharam aati hogi,

baat kuch tumhaari bhi samajh mein aati hogi,

jab bhi zikr hota hoga smart logon ka..

tumhe bhi meri yaad aati hogi.

317 In a bathroom,

a boy touches a girl everywhere.

You know who is that boy..?

He is Lifeboy!!

318 Birth is the start of life.

Beauty is the art of life.

Mystery & risk are part of life.

But friends like you are

the Heart of Life!!

319 Kya hua..SMS factory mein hadtaal hai..?

Ya inbox kangaal hai..ya fir balance ka akaal hai..?

Agar nahi to kyon bura haal hai..

SMS karo tumhaar izzat ka sawaal hai.

320 Ishq mein ye anjaam paaya hai,

haath paer toote, muh se khoon aaya hai,

Hospital pahunche to nurso ne yeh farmaaya hai,

"Bahaaron phool barsaao kisi ka mehboob aaya hai.."

321 Ishq da jisnu khwaab aa jaanda hai,

samjho waqt kharaab aa jaanda hai,

mehboob aave ya na aave..

par taare ginan da hisaab aa jaanda hai.

322 Dil se tera khayaal na jaaye to kya karu,

tu hi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karu,

hasrat yeh hai ki ek nazar tujhe dekh loon..

magar kismat do lamhe na laaye to kya karu.

323 What you will do if one day

whole world will be on one side and

you on opposite..??

.....

?????

Just turn back and

you will be the leader of the whole world!!

324 Smile ever, udaas never!

Speak ever, gumsum never!

Share ever, chup never!

Care ever, bhoolna mujhe never

because hum hain Friends Forever!!

325 Woh mil jaate hain kahaani ban kar,

dil mein bas jaate hain nishaani ban kar,

jinhe hum rakhte hain apni aankho mein..

kyon nikal jaate hain woh paani ban kar.

326 Chaand adhura hai sitaaron ke bina,

gulshan adhura hai bahaaron ke bina,

samunder adhura hai kinaaron ke bina,

jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaron ke bina..

327 Never ignore a person

who loves you,

cares for you,

n misses you

because one day

you will realise that

you have lost a Diamond

while collecting stones..

328 No me..No life..

Know me..Know life..

329 Bhoole se bhi aankhon mein aansu na lana,

zindagi mein sabko hasaana,

dushman ko bhi gale lagaana,

phir bhi koi gham aaye to

is number per phone lagaana..

330 Who is a dost..?

Dost woh jo bin bulaaye aaye,

bewajah sir khaae,

jeb khaali karwaaye,

kabhi sataaye,

kabhi hasaaye,

kabhi rulaaye,

magar hamesha saath nibhaaye.

331 Har roz hum nashe mein hote hain

aur shaam guzar jaati hai,

ek din aisa bhi aayega

jab shaam nashe mein hogi aur

hum guzar jaayenge..

332 Yamraaj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li to

Chitragupt ne poocha ki isko waqt se pehle kyon maara..

Yamraaj bole,

"Month end mein target jo poora karna hai.."

333 Main tumko chaand kehta magar

usme daag hai,

suraj kehta magar

usme aag hai,

socha tumko bandar keh du..

magar us kambakht mein bhi dimaag hai.

334 You are

-sweet like tom

-cute like jerry

-naughty like bugsbunny

-clever like aladin

-happening like ballu

-welders like mougli

Tussi to chalte-firte cartoon ho!!

335 Apne dimaag ko test karne ke liye

Cow ke saame sir karke khade ho jaao.

Agar woh dooor jaaye to samajh lena gobar hai,

agar paas aaye to bhoosa hai,

aur agar na dooor jaaye aur na paas aaye

to samajh lena khaali hai.

336 Never make the same mistake twice,

there are so many new ones to make..

Try a different mistake each day.

Enjoy each day!!

337 Sardaarji aapko logo ne kyon maara..?

Sardaar: Arrey yaar meri photo bus mein gir gayi thi.

Maine kaha, madam zaraa saree upar karna,

mujhe photo leni hai.

338 Hi..jaane-anjaane mein agar maine,

aapka dil dukhaaya ho ya kabhi tang kiya ho,

ya jo-jo bhi kiya ho, us-us ke liye,

aapse jo ho sake kar lo,

MAINE NAHI SUDHARNAA..!!

339 I wish you a:

Marvelous Monday

Tasty Tuesday

Wonderful Wednesday

Thankful Thursday

Friendly Friday

Successful Saturday

Have a VICTORIOUS WEEK!

340 If a cute girl tells you

that she's in love with you

do any of the three things:

1. Take her to an eye specialist

2. Take her to a mental hospital

3. Tell her that u r not me

341 10gm hansi

10gm pyaar

20gm sukh-dukh

5gm kasmein

50gm baatein

thodi takraar

thoda pyaar

swaad anusaar

Dish- “Friendship Forever” ho gai tayyar.

342 100gm mitti,

10gm kankad-pathar,

25 types ke keede-makode,

5gm makdee ke jaale,

50gm ghaas.....

Don't be surprised!

This is the CT scan report of your brain..

343 Five roses just for you

because you are a special person:

1st rose - for friendship

2nd rose - for trust

3rd rose - for wealth

4th rose - for happiness

and the last 5th kaan par lagaa lena.

344 Fir na simtegi agar dosti bikhar jaaegi,

zindagi zulf nahi jo fir se sanvar jaaegi,

jo khushi de tumhe thaam lo uska daaman,

zindagi ro ke nahi haske guzar jaayegi.

345 Nazar jhuki to paimaane bane,

sharaab bani to maikhaane bane,

koi na koi baat aap mein jaroor hai aisi,

yuhin to nahi pagalkhane bane.

346 Aisi bewafaai ki usne..

mohabbat bhi badnaam ho gayi,

apni mohabbat ki itni keemaat vasool ki usne...

ki humaari kabr bhi nilaam ho gayi.

347 A Sardaar made a call to airport and

asked how long is the journey

from Punjab to America..

Receptionist: One second, sir.....

Sardaar: Thank you.

348 If you read this message, you owe me a hug.

if you delete, you owe me a kiss.

if you save, you owe me a date.

if you reply, you owe me all, but

if you ignore, you are mine!!

349 Unki yaadon mein sab kuch bhulaaye baithe hain,

chiraag khushiyon ke bujhaae baithe hain,

hum to marenge unki baahon mein..

yeh bhi maut se shart lagaaye baithe hain.

350 May you experience

GOD's constant care and

feel HIS loving presence in your life,

today & always..

351 What do you call

an engineering student

giving viva..?

????

????

Think..Think..

??????????????

Bluff Master!!!!!

352 Friendship is not finding

gold or silver among the rocks of life..

it is accepting each other as coal

till diamonds are formed through time.

353 Wish you a very Happy X'mas!!

May GOD pours all the blessings

on you and

Santa fulfills all your wishes..

354 Kaaju, baadaam, akhrot, pista, kish-mish..

all dry fruits are tasty but

they are nothing in comparison to you..

Because abey KHAJOOR teri baat hi kuch aur hai!!

355 May your world be filled with

warmth and good chear

this holy season and throughout the year.

Wish your christmas to be filled

with peace and love..

Merry X'mas!!

356 Listen and Silent are two words

with the same letters and

are very important for

every relationship because

only a few people in this world can

listen to you when you are silent..

357 Every moment of your life is a picture

which you had never seen before and

which you will never see again.

So enjoy and live life and

make each moment beautiful.

358 Invite Jesus into the chemistry of life..

HE will dilute your sorrows,

evaporate your worries,

filter your mistakes and

leave you with crystals of happiness..

Merry X'mas..

359 Zamaane bhar ki baaton mein humein bhula na dena,

jab kabhi yaad aaye to zaraa muskura dena,

zinda rahe to milenge baar-baar dost..

nahi to har christmas mere naam ki candle jalaa lena.

360 I have already told Santa Claus

what i want for Christmas..

Best Friends!!

So, if a big old man comes and

tries to wrap you up,

please co-operate.

Merry X'mas!!

361 A Christmas candle is a lovely thing..

it makes no noise at all,

but slowly gives itself away.

While quite unselfish,

it grows small.

Merry X'mas!!

362 Special pleasures old and new,

special joy in all you do,

special happiness in store,

you are warmly wished all this and many more..

Merry X'mas!!

363 This Christmas may Santa fulfill

all your wishes and

light your life with glows and glitters.

Wishing you and your family a

Merry X'mas!!

364 Humse chupte kyon ho dost,

ek din hum andheron mein kho jaayenge,

ki maangoge duaaon mein khuda se..

aur hum sapno mein bhi na aayenge.

365 Jaane do is syaah raat ke aagosh mein,

rishi zindagi se ab aur koi aarzoo na rahi..

366 Two persons are drowning in a river.

One is whom you love and the other is who loves you.

Whom will you save and why..?

To love someone is a natural instinct.

To be loved by someone is luck.

To live with someone you love is achievement.

To live with someone who loves you is life!!

367 Do you know the worst thing in life..?

Somebody having tears in eyes because of you.

And the best thing in life..?

Somebody having tears in eyes for you.

368 Let the most beautiful dream come to you tonight!!

Let the sweetest person come in your dream tonight!!

But don't make it a habit because..

i am not free every night.

369 In order to get 100 out of 100 in appraisals

a boy requires 100% talent whereas

a girl requires only 4% talent and remaining is only

36-24-36.

370 Two men were watching bungee jumping.

First: Wanna try it..?

Second: No way, i was born because of broken rubber n

i don't wanna die because of it.

371 Bhool se agar bhool ho jaaye

to bhool smajhkar bhool jaana..

Bhulaana sirf bhool ko

bhoolkar bhi humein na bhool jaana..

372 It's the new year eve!

Time to cheer for the old year and

welcome the new..

i wish that it turns into a rocking,

sparkling and a happy year for you.

373 2006 sabse ho gaya hai dooor,

kya karein yahi hai kudrat ka dastur,

purani yaadein soch kar udaas na ho tum..

naya saal aaya hai..machaale DHOOM!!

374 -->H

--->A

---->P

----->P

------>Y

------->NEW

-------->YEAR

2

0

0

7

375 GOD's love has no limit.

GOD's grace has no measure.

GOD's power has no boundaries.

May you have GOD's

endless blessings today and forever.

Wish you a Happy New Year!!

376 Socha kisi apne se baat karein,

apne kisi khaas ko yaad karein,

kiya jo faislaa naye saal ki shubh-kaamnaayein dene ka,

dil ne kaha kyon na shuruwaat aapse karein..

Happy New Year!!

377 Faith makes all things possible.

Hope makes all things work.

Love makes all things beautiful.

May you have all the three in abundance this year!!

Happy New Year!!

378 Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new..

Lets cherish each moment it beholds..

Lets celebrate this blissful new year..

Happy New Year!!

379 May the spirit of this holiday season

fill your heart with love, peace and serenity.

Wishing you many blessings for the new year.

Have a great 2007 ahead!!

380 Naam: Don

Baap: Gangster

Pataa: 36 China Town

Thikaana: Chandni Bar

Dushman: Sarkar

Khoon: Ab Tak 56

New Year wish karo warna 57..

Happy New Year!!

381 Muskaan aapke chehre se kabhi jaaye na,

aansu aapki aankhon mein kabhi aaye na,

poora ho aapka har khwaab..

jo poora na ho woh khwaab kabhi aaye na.

Happy New Year!!

382 Wishing you 12 Moon of Happiness

52 Weeks of Fun,

365 Days of Success,

8760 Hours of Good Health,

525600 Minutes of Luck, &

31536000 Seconds of Joy..

Happy New Year!!

383 December 30..

December 31..

11:59:55

11:59:56

11:59:57

11:59:58

11:59:59

01 January..Happy New Year!!

Don ko intezaar karne ki aadat nahi.

384 Chaand mein agar noor na hota,

tanha dil majboor na hota,

hum aapko khud Happy New Year wish karne aate..

agar aapka ghar itni dooor na hota.

Happy New Year!!

385 Wishing you and your family

New Year 2007 full of joy,

happiness, health, wealth,

peace, prosperity, name, fame,

success and longevity!!

Happy New Year!!

386 As this is the begining of new year,

i want to think of special people who

touched my life with their concern &

made my life more meaningful.

You are one of them dear.

387 Har laal rang RED nahi hota,

har murda DEAD nahi hota,

kaise kahu par sach hai..

har koi aap ki tarah MAD nahi hota.

M: Mera, A: Achcha, D: Dost

388 Years come and go but

this year i specially wish for you

a double dose of health n happiness

topped with loads of good fortune.

Have a great year ahead..

Happy New Year!!

389 Before the sunset,

before the network got jammed,

before you are in a vibratig mood

on the last day of year 2006

i wish you a happy & prosperous new year &

try to walk as per GOD's wish..

390 Relation doesn't get closer by meetings but

it is sweetened by THOUGHTS.

i care for you in my own strange ways,

you will never know..

perhaps i will never show.

391 May this new year bring you n your family

treasures of health, wealth, prosperity &

ever lasting happiness.

May all your wishes come true!

Happy New Year!!

392 Maamu, aaj se ek din baad

naya saal aayega.

Bapu ne bola hai ki

31st ko network jaam hoga.

Toh, apun aaj hi

vinamrata se wish karela hai.

Bole toh..

Happy New Year!!

393 Duniya mein sirf 7 cheez famous hai,

bole to 7 wonders:

1. Apun

2. Apun ka dil

3. Apun ka style

4. Apun ka smile

5. Apun ka mobile

6. Apun ka sms

7. Aur apun ka dost

Bole to TUM!!

394 Be strong enough to sccept the challenges of life.

Never ask GOD, why me..

instead say try me.

That's the spirit of life,

celebrate it!

Happy New Year!!

395 Once the sun winks at you this morning,

hope your day was quite all right &

now i bid you a lovely good morning &

a Happy New Year..

396 i knocked at the heavens door today.

GOD asked why i was there.

I replied: Please love, protect & bless

the one reading this sms.

GOD smiled & said: I already did!

Wishing you & your family

a Happy & Prosperous New Year!!

Wishing you all blessings of life!

397 Whatever is beautiful..

whatever is meaningful..

whatever gives you happiness..

May all that be yours - today, tomorrow & forever!

Happy New Year!!

398 Tumse dooor jaane ka iraada na tha,

par saath rehne ka bhi waada na tha,

tum yaad na karoge yeh jaante the hum..

par itni jaldi bhool jaaoge yeh andaaza na tha.

399 Jaane kya zamaana mujhse chaahta hai,

mera dil tod kar mujhe hasaana chaahta hai,

jaane kya baat jhalakti hai mere chehre se..

har shaks mujhe aazmaana chaahta hai.

400 Tamanna karo jin bahaaron ki

woh bahaar aapke kadmo mein ho..

Khuda aapko woh haqeeqat mein de

jo soch aapke sapne mein ho..

401 Kya zindagi hui, kya kahein..

main mae se aur mae mujhse

apna kaar-o-baar poochte hain.

(mae - sharaab)

402 Kabhi mir toh kabhi ghaalib keh kar pukaara,

waah ri duniya toone mujhe naam ki chaahat mein duba kar maara..

kabhi peeth mein dhoke se to kabhi andhere mein,

waah ri duniya na kabhi toone saamne se maara..

kal tha bechaara to toone nashtar-e-lafzon se maara,

aaj hua aawaara to toone pathar-ro se maara..

waah ri duniya..waah ri duniya..

403 Jagaa ke humko woh kehte hain so jaa,

koi bataaye humein hai humaari kabr kahaan..

404 Na kar fir mazboor mujhe likhne ko aaj,

ik hakeem ne rone se parhez kahaa hai..

405 Na keh galti mere peene ko,

ki is-se hui hai fir roshan meri shaam-e-tanha,

ki is-se fir mehfil-e-aagaaz ho gayaa..

406 Once a rich man asked a poor man,

"Sex mehnat hai ya mazaa..?"

Poor man replied,

"Saahab, zaroor mazaa hi hoga..

mehnat hoti to app woh bhi humse karwaate."

407 Kashmir ki romantic waadiyon mein,

barfeeli hawaaon mein,

jheel ke kinaare baithe Raanjhe ko

Heer ne kya kahaa..??

Ve moeyaa Hero na ban..

Sweater pehen le.

408 Question: What is height of flirting..?

Answer: When your love letter starts with,

"To whomsoever it may concern."

409 Life is very precious..

live it..enjoy it..

don't just spend it chasing fake goals.

410 Har pal mein pyaar hai,

har lamhe mein khushi hai,

ro ke kho do to yaadein hain..

has ke jee lo to zindagi hai.

411 Ho noor itna ki woh bhi dekhein

jo hum dekhte hain..

aur hum bhi dekhein

jo woh dikha rahe hain..

412 The hardest part of missing someone special

isn't their absence but

it's when you think

of all the good times you have shared &

you ask yourself,

"Will those moments ever come again..?"

413 Sapno se dil lagaane ki aadat na rahi,

har waqt muskuraane ki aadat na rahi,

yeh soch kar ki koi manaane nahi aayega..

humein rooth jaane ki aadat na rahi.

414 Zaroorat hi nahi hai alfaaz ki,

pyaar cheez hai bas ehsaas ki,

paas hote to manzar hi kya hota..

dooor se hi khabar hai humein aapki har saans ki.

415 People often feel something but

express something else.

They mean something but

say something else.

One should learn the art of saying nothing

in such a way..

that it leaves nothing unsaid.

416 The beauty of life does not depend

on how happy you are,

but how happy others can be

because of you.

417 Teacher to Banta: Tell me five animals living in water?

Banta: Frog.

Teacher: Theek hai, hor das?

Banta: Frog da peo, ohdi maa, behen te wotti..

418 What is real but invisible?

Your care!

What is true but unfair?

Your absence!

What is sweet but naughty?

Your smile!

N what is precious but priceless?

Your friendship!

419 Khidki se neeche dekha to koi nahi tha,

Khidki se neeche dekha to koi nahi tha,

Neeche aa kar khidki mein dekha..

to wahaan bhi koi nahi tha.

420 Whenever you fall,

trust me, i will be there

to catch you.

\o/

()

<<

O__

[]--

??

o>

<[]

?? >-->-o

Oops!! Once more, please.

i wasn't ready.

421 Maine kaha Dilruba,

usne kaha Ice-Cream khilaa..

Maine kaha Paise nahi,

usne kaha Aise nahi..

Maine kaha mehngaai hai,

usne kaha Tu bhi mera bhai hai..

422 Ye raat chaand kiski karni per roya,

aansu jhalke subha oos chai,

lagta hai dil kisi ka dil se juda ho gaya,

phir mohabbat mein kisi ne chot khaai.

423 Popcorn ki khushboo, mungfali ki bahaar,

Lohri ka tyohaar aane ko tayyar..

Thodi si masti, thoda sa pyaar,

Mubaarak ho aapko Lohro ka tyohaar!!

424 Unka khwaabon mein aana yeh unka kasoor tha,

unse dil lagaana yeh humaara kasoor tha,

woh aaye the zindagi mein do pal ke liye..

unko zindagi samajh lena yeh humaara kasoor tha.

425 Ek muskaan tu mujhe ek baar de de,

khwaab mein hi sahi ek deedaar de de,

bas ek baar kar le aane ka waada..

fir umar bhar ka chaahe intezaar de de.

426 Paane se khone ka mazaa aur hai,

band aankhon mein rone ka mazaa aur hai,

askq bane lafz aur lafz ghazal..

aur us ghazal mein tere hone ka mazaa aur hai.

427 A prayer bless your way..

A wish to enlighten your moments..

A cheer to perfect your day..

A text to say Happy Lohri!!

428 Bahut kam hain zamaane mein log aise,

chaahat ki jinhe pehchaan hoti hai,

soch lena kisi pe mar mitne se pehle ki..

lutaane ke liye ek hi jaan hoti hai.

429 Simat jaane do in palo ko,

na jaane yeh lamhe kal ho na ho,

ho bhi yeh lamhe to kya maloom..

shaamil un palo mein hum ho na ho.

430 Kabhi hauslaa bhi aazmaa lena chaahiye,

bure waqt mein muskuraa lena chaahiye,

agar saatve din bhi khujli na mite to..

aathve din nahaa lena chaahiye.

431 Grahambel found telephone..

Edison found electric bulb..

Marconi found radio..

Columbus found america..

tu bas mobile nu angootha maari ja, Nalaayak!

432 Ladki pataane ka tarika:

Chupke se uske peeche jaa kar use daraao.

Agar woh hasi to samjho pat gai..

Agar gussa hui to zor-zor se chillao,

Didi darr gayi..Didi darr gayi..

433 Na zubaan se, na nigaahon se,

na dimaag se, na rango se,

na greetings se, na gits se..

Aapko Haapy Lohri

Direct DilSe!!

434 Sometimes i forget to ask how are you??

Sometimes i even miss to say you Hi!

Sometimes i forget to message you.

But it doesn't mean that i forget you..

i m just..

Lazy like you.

435 A lover says,

"I will be with you in all your troubles"

but a good friend says,

"You will have no troubles when i am with you."

436 Ek Rose

--;--;--<@

un dosto ke liye

jo milte nahi

roz-roz

magar..

yaad aate hain

har roz.

437 Friendship is not about finding the right person,

but creating the right relation.

It isn't how much we care in the beginning

but how much we care till the end.

438 Dard kaafi hai bekhudi ke liye,

maut zaroori hai zindagi ke liye,

kaun marta hai kisi ke liye..

hum to zinda hain sirf aapki dosti ke liye.

439 Papa beti se:

Beti, pehle to tum mujhe Papa kehti thi,

lekin ab Dad kehti ho, kyon?

Beti: Oh Dad, Papa kehne se

Lip-stick kharaab ho jaati hai.

440 Na thi jisko mere pyaar ki kadar,

ittefaq se usi ko chaah rahaa tha main,

usi diye ne jalaaya mere haath ko..

jisko hawa se bachaa raha tha main.

441 Tohra mukhra..Chaanda ke samaan..

Tohra rang..Chanda ke samaan..

Tohre baal..Chanda ke samaan..

Aur Chanda..Hamaar bhaisiya ka naam..

442 Kal raat chand bilkul aap jaisa tha,

wahi khoobsurti, wahi noor, wahi garoor,

aur wahi aap ki tarah bahut dooor.

1080 The first testicular guard

was used in cricket in 1874 and

the first helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realize that

brain is also important.

443 Yaadon ke is bhanwar mein ek pal mera ho,

phulon ke is chaman mein ek gul mera ho,

khuda kare ki jab aap yaad karo apno ko..

to un apno mein ek naam mera ho.

444 What would you do if..

you lose a friend like me some day..?

So Sweet!!

i know you will search me like this.

445 Two things in life which are more tragic than death:

1. Your love loves you and you don't know it.

2. Your love doesn't love you and you know it.

446 You are GHONCHU

G-reat

H-ot

O-ne in million

N-aughty

C-ute

H-umble

U-nique

447 Ghum ke saagar mein kabhi dooob na jana,

raahon pe chalke manzil na paao to tooot na jana,

aur zindagi mein agar kisi dost ki kami mehsoos ho..

to hum hain yeh bhool na jana.

448 Itni jaldi daaman chod diya,

itni jaldi vaada tod diya,

abhi to zindagi ki saansein hain baaki..

aur aapne abhi se yaad karna chod diya.

449 When GOD leads you to the edge of the cliff,

trust HIM fully.

Only one of two things will happen:

HE will catch you when you will fall or

HE will teach you to fly.

450 A 'sms' means

i care enough to

flex my thumb,

search your name,

wait for 'message sent',

then think of you n

smile as i say,

"You are Special"

451 Friends in heart are the worst tenants.

They capture the heart,

don't vacate and

if at all they leave,

they just break down the room they live.

452 Mohabbat ki haqeeqat judaai hoti hai,

kabhi-kabhi pyaar mein bewafaai hoti hai,

humaari taraf haath badhaakar dekho to pata chale..

dosti mein kitni sachaai hoti hai.

453 Jazbaat-e-ishq naakaam na hone denge,

dil ki duniya mein kabhi shaam na hone denge,

uss pyaar ka har ilzaam apne sar par le lenge..

par hum apni jaan ko badnaam na hone denge.

454 Aaj woh humse dooor ja rahe hain,

aur hum hain ki unko rok bhi nahi paa rahe hain,

unka jaana humein ek Dard de jaayega..

jo har pal humein unki yaad dilaayega.

455 Age of Drinks:

1 to 3: Milk

3 to 8: Cerelac

9 to 13: Horlicks

14 to 25: Beer

26 to 40: Old Monk

41 to 60: Tonic

After 60: Anytime "Gangajal"

456 Dreams are not those which are seen during sleep

Dreams are those which will never let you sleep.

So see the dreams and work hard to make them true.

457 Ye dosti chiraag hai..ise jalaaye rakhna,

ye dosti gul hai..ise khilaaye rakhna,

hum rahein kahin bhi is jahaan mein..

bas humaari dosti ki yaad dil mein basaaye rakhna.

458 Fizaaon mein tum ho..

Hawaaon mein tum ho..

Bahaaron mein tum ho..

Ghataaon mein tum ho..

Dhoop mein tum ho..

Chaaon mein tum ho..

Sach hi suna tha..

Shaitaani Aatma ka koi thikaana nahi hota.

459 Think why you are so sweet,

why you are so innocent,

why you are so intelligent,

why you are so lucky,

why you are so blessed..?

Simple..

ab humse dosti ki hai to thoda faedaa to milega.

460 I was on ship thinking of you,

when i looked down i dropped a tear

into the ocean

then i promisd myself

that until someone finds it

i won't forget you.

461 Eyes are good friends..

See together,

weep together,

close together.

But when a girl comes,

one eye starts blinking.

Moral- A girl can break good friendship.

462 No Quality + No Style = Laalu

No Quality But Style = Sania

Quality But No Style = Abdul Kalam

Quality + Style = Guess..

You are right..

press down to see name and phone number.

463 How woman call their husband in first Seven Years:

1st Year: A G..

2nd Year: O G..

3rd Year: Sunte ho..

4th Year: O chintoo ke papa..

5th Year: Maine kaha sunte ho..

6th Year: Kahaan marr gaye..

7th Year: Aap aate ho ki main aaun..

464 Waqt ke panne palatkar

fir woh haseen lamhe

jeene ko dil chaahta hai,

kabhi muskuraaya karte the sab dost milkar..

unhe saath dekhne ko aaj dil taras jaata hai.

465 Ek baar jaan maang kar to dekho,

ek baar yaad kar ke to dekho,

agar hum na aaye to samajh lena..

janaab so rahe hain.

466 Dil ko pata tha woh jaroor aayegi,

Dil ko pata tha woh jaroor aayegi,

par kabhi socha na tha ki woh..

surprise mein apna husband bhi saath laayegi.

467 Santa: Oye! murge di tang kithe aa..?

Waiter: Sir, murga langda tha.

Santa: Aur dil?

Waiter: Sir, woh murgi le gai.

Santa frustrated: Abey dimaag to hoga..?

Waiter: Sir, Murga bhi sardaar tha.

468 Hum kabhi apno se khafa ho nahi sakte..

dosti ke rishtey bewafa ho nahi sakte..

aap bhale humein bhula ke so jaao,

hum aapko yaad kiye bina so nahi sakte.

469 Chaah kar bhi juda na reh sakoge..

rooth kar bhi khafa na reh sakoge..

hum dosti hi kuch aisi nibhaayenge,

ki aap humaare bina ik pal bhi na reh sakoge.

470 Pyaar karo to dhoka mat dena,

pyaar ko aansuon ka tohfa mat dena,

dil se roye koi aapko yaad karke..

aisa kisi ko mauka mat dena.

471 Happy B'day!!

Dekha.. Tumne kya socha tha..?

Tum nahi bataaogi to mujhe pata nahi chalega ki aaj..

Animal's Day hai.

472 Tanhaai na paaye koi mehfil ki raat ke baad,

judaai na paaye koi kisi ke saath ke baad,

na pade kisi ko aadat kisi ki itni..

ki har saans bhi aaye uski yaad ke baad.

473 Yeh unki khoobiyon ka asar hai,

jo woh itne achche lagte hain,

jab woh kehte hain yeh waada hai mera..

to jhoote vaade bhi sachche lagte hain.

474 Khuda ne kaha..dosti na kar..

warna tu dosti ke rang mein deewana ho jaayega.

Maine kahaa..ae Khuda,

zameen par aa kar ek baar mere dost se mil..

tu waapis jana bhool jaayega.

475 Kitni jaldi yeh mulaaqat guzar jaati hai,

baarish hoti nahi barsaat guzar jaati hai,

apni yaadon se keh do is tarah na aayein..

neend aati nahi aur raat guzar jaati hai.

476 Mil kar bichadna dastoor hai zindagi ka,

ek yahi kissa mash-hoor hai zindagi ka,

beetey hue pal kabhi laut kar nahi aate..

yahi sabse bada kasoor hai zindagi ka.

477 Dil ka tamaasha dekha nahi jaata,

toota hua sitaara dekha nahi jaata,

apne hisse ke saare sms aapko de dun..

mujhse kanjooso ka khaali inbox dekha nahi jaata.

478 Dosto ki dosti per shak nahi karte,

jab hum bol rahe hon to bak-bak nahi karte,

sms karte ho jab hum so rahe hote hain..

ab hum jage hain to yaad bhi nahi karte.

479 Santa gives dictation test to the students.

Last bench students said that they are unable to hear,

so Santa replied,

"Ok i will write on the board."

480 Kaash kushiyon ki koi dukaan hoti,

humaari us-se pehchaan hoti,

bhar dete aapka daaman khushiyon se..

phir chaahe uski keemat humaari jaan hoti.

481 An apple a day,

keeps the doctor away.

But if the doctor is cute..

ki kar lega fruit!!

482 If you love someone,

don't keep her in your heart.

Keep her in your nails,

because if you fail in love..

don't break your heart,

just cut the nails.

Is this the reason that girls keep long nails..?

483 A word to say, a word to hear.

Even in your absence, i feel you near.

Our relation is strong, hope it goes long.

We will remain this way, till our Hearts go on.

484 Hands up! This is a robbery!

Handsome guys, move to the right.

Pretty girls, move left.

Ugly ones, go to the centre.

Hey you, Yes you..Don't pretend to read the sms,

go to the centre.

485 Aankhon mein sharaafat..

Chaal mein nazaakat..

dil mein sachaai..

chehre pe safaai..

Phir kyon na kahe

har ladki..

aapko bhai!!

486 Patni(Pati naal bazaar jaande hoye):

Ajj ta tussi bilkul madaari lagg rahe ho.

Pati: Jehde naal tere wargi baandri ture,

oh madaari nahi ta DC laggu..?

487 When things go bad and

your strength is no longer enough to carry on,

don't give up because..

where your strength ends..

my worth of being your friend begins..

488 Patni: Woh saamne sharaabi dekh rahe ho..

10 saal pehle maine us-se

shaadi ke liye inkaar kiya tha aur

woh aaj tak pee rahaa hai.

Pati: Waah!! itni lambi celebration.

489 Karni hai khuda se ek guzaarish,

ki teri dosti ke siva koi bandagi na mile..

har janam mein mile dost tere jaise,

ya fir kabhi zindagi na mile..

490 My Smile + My Joy + My Pleasure + My Life +

My Relief + My Honour + My Pride = Your One SMS

Ab socho aapke SMS ki keemat kya hai..

491 Pati mobile, Patni Sim-card.

Dono mile to hua recharge.

Beta hua to incoming,

Beti hui to outgoing.

Agar kuch na hua to missed call.

492 Father to son: Sharmaji ki ladki ko dekha hai,

woh exam mein first aai hai.

Son: Usi ko to dekhta tha,

tabhi to fail ho gaya.

493 It's not necessary for good friends to meet regularly.

Look at the lines of a railway track..

They seldom meet..

They seldom cross..

But they always go a long way together.

494 Aapki har baat saroor kar jaati hai,

kuch na kuch dil ko jaroor kar jaati hai,

yeh humein bhi nahi kya hota hai..

par yaad karne ke liye majboor kar jaati hai.

495 Unhe gumaa hai ki hum unse mohabbat karte hain,

humein gumma hai ki woh humse mohabbat karte hain,

yun hi kat rahe hain zindagi ke din..

na woh izhaar karte hain na hum izhaar karte hain.

496 Dil ko aata hai jab khayaal unka,

tasveer se poochte hain phir haal unka,

woh kabhi humse poocha karte the ki judaai kya hai..

aaj samajh mein aaya sawaal unka.

497 Shabnam ki boondein phulon ko bhiga rahi hai,

thandi lehrein ik taazgi jagaa rahi hain,

ho jaayein aap bhi inme shaamil..

ek pyaari si subha aapko bula rahi hai.

498 Kaanta na hota to phool ki hifaazat na hoti,

andhera na hota to roshni ki zaroorat na hoti,

agar mil jaati har khushi duniya mein..

to dil ki mulaqaat dard se na hoti.

499 Height of Challenge

In an exam a student just writes one line

leaving the rest of the answer sheet blank:

Pass me, if you have can.

500 Night has gone and moon too.

Sun has arrive with the sky blue.

Open your beautiful eyes,

there is an sms for you.

501 Kareeb reh kar bhi woh humein jaan na paaye,

aaj tak woh humein pehchaan na paaye,

khud hi banaa li unse duriyaan humne..

taaki un par koi ilzaam na aaye.

502 Kabhi dost kehte ho kabhi dua dete ho,

kabhi bewaqt neend se jagaa dete ho,

par jab bhi sms karte ho..

ek lamha zindagi ka badhaa dete ho.

503 Days of Feb:

7 - Rose Day

8 - Propose Day

9 - Chocolate Day

10 - Teddy Day

11 - Promise Day

12 - Kiss Day

13 - Hug Day

14 - Valentine Day

15 - Slap Day

16 - Kick Day

17 - Perfume Day

504 Der raat jab kisi ki yaad sataaye,

thandi hawa jab zulfon ko sehlaaye,

kar lo aankhein band aur so jaao..

kya pata jiska hai khayaal

woh khawaabon mein aa jaaye.

505 Live for the person who dies for you,

Smile for the person who cries for you,

Fight for the person who protects you, and

Love the person who loves you.

506 The most selfish one letter word: I - Avoid it.

The most satisfying two letter word: We - Use it.

The most poisonous three letter word: Ego - Kill it.

The most used four letter word: Love - Value it.

The most pleasing five letter word: Smile - Keep it.

The most spreading six letter word: Rumour - Ignore it.

507 Maine tumse pyaar kiya,

tere baap ne mujhe peeta..

Maine tumse pyaar kiya,

tere baap ne mujhe peeta..

tann ki shakti, mann ki shakti,

Bournvita!!

508 Jab kisi ke sapne kisi ke armaan ban jaayein,

jab kisi ki hasi kisi ki muskaan ban jaaye,

bepanaah pyaar kehte hain use..

jab kisi ki saansein kisi ki jaan ban jaaye.

509 Paagal ki 3 nishaaniyaan:

1. Bewaqt miss call karna.

2. Paagal sms muskura kar padhega.

3. Neeche mat padhna

Jo kaam manaa karo, paagal woh zaroor karega.

510 Sunder mundriye, HO..

Tera kaun vichaara, HO..

Dulha bhatti wala, HO..

Dulhe ne dhee vehaai, HO..

Sadh shakkar paai, HO..

Bas-bas eh le ik rupeya, baaki shaam nu gaai.

HAPPY LOHRI!!

511 Smiles are like birds..

They fly from one face to another.

May your lips give them the best nest

so they may stay there forever!!

512 Priya mitr, Namaskaar

Aapke sandesh padne ke upraant hum

atyant aanand-vibhor ho jaate hain.

Kripya apne chalit-doorbhaash yantra se

alp sandesh bhejte rahein.

Aapka mitr.

513 Pyaar se pyaari koi majboori nahi hoti,

kami apno ki kabhi poori nahi hoti,

dil-on ka juda hona ek alag baat hai..

nazron se dooor hona koi dooori nahi hoti.

514 Likho to paigaam kuch aisa likho ki,

kalam rone pe majboor ho jaaye..

har lafz mein dard bhar do itna ki,

padhne waala pyaar karne ko majboor ho jaaye.

515 Sehmi-sehmi nigaahon mein khwaab hum jagaa denge,

sooni-sooni raahon mein phool hum khila denge,

aap humaare saath muskura kar to dekho..

hum saare gham bhula denge.

516 Before marriage:

Tamanna hai magar kismat nahi khulti,

Taj Mahal banaana chaahta hun magar

Mumtaz nahi milti.

After Marriage:

Tamanna hai magar kismat nahi khulti,

Taj Mahal banaana chaahta hun magar

Mumtaz nahi marti.

517 Teacher ne kaha translate Hindi to English:

Khushi ke maare uski chaati phool gai.

Santa translated: Due to happiness,

his chest turned in to breast.

518 Poocho na us kaagaz se,

jis per hum dil ke bayaan likhte hain,

tanhaayion mein beeti baatein tamaam likhte hain,

woh kalam bhi dewani ho gayi,

jis se hum tumhaara naam likhte hain.

519 Meri zindagi ke is mod pe ye kaisa waqt aaya hai,

zakhm is dil ka zubaan pe aaya hai,

nahi rote hum kaanto ki chubhan se,

aaj kisi ki yaad ne humko itna rulaaya hai.

520 Pyaase ko ik katra paani hi kaafi hai,

ishq mein char pal ki zind-gaani hi kaafi hai,

doobne ko samander mein jaayein kahan..

unki palkon se tapka woh paani hi kaafi hai.

521 Zamaane ki har jannat aapke liye hogi,

ye aasmaa ye zameen aapke liye hogi,

hum se keh bhi na paaoge uske pehle..

humaare hisse ki har khushi aapke liye hogi.

522 There's a lot of difference between Dream and Aim..

Dreams require sleep to be seen.

But Aims require sleepless days and nights to be fulfilled..

523 Pyaar hai to aansuon ki bhi shaan hoti hai,

pyaar na ho to mehfil bhi shamshaan hoti hai,

saara khel to pyaar ka hai..

warna janaaza aur baaraat ek samaan hoti hai.

524 What is meant by ABCDEFG..?

A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.

GFEDCBA means..?

Girl Forgets Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again.

525 What is trust?????

Trust is a feeling that a one year child has,

when u throw him in thr air,

he laughs because he knows that you will catch him, without falling.

526 Life gives answers in three ways.

It says yes & gives you what you want.

It says no & gives you something better.

It says wait & gives you the best.

527 Indian soldiers captured a Pakistani..

They gave him a dice and said:

If you will get 1,2,3,4,5 we will kill you.

Pakistani asked- 6 aaya to..?

Indian- Ludo nahi khela kya..?

Dubaara baari.

528 If you wait to be happy..

You will wait forever.

If you start to be happy..

you will be happy forever.

Bloom where you are planted!!

529 Neend aankhon se churaane waale..

neend tujhko bhi kaha aati hogi,

tadapte sirf hum hi nahi..

humaari yaad mein jaan tumhaari bhi jaati hogi.

530 Har ek jazbaat ko zubaan nahi milti,

har nek aarzoo ko dua nahi milti,

muskaan sajaaye rakho to duniya hai saath..

aansu ko to aankh mein bhi panaah nahi milti.

531 Tavye par pada popcorn uchalta kyun hai..?

Socho..

Ha..Ha..Ha..

Khud baith kar dekho,

pata chal jaayega!

532 Is dil ki hai ek 'condition',

jisme nahi kisi ko 'permission',

sirf aap jaise dost ko hai 'admission',

woh bhi bina 'donation',

just maintain good 'relation'.

533 Harbhajan Singh started bhangra

on the score of 33.

Sachin: Why are you dancing..

it's not a 50 or 100 yet..?

Bhajji: Only a punjab board student

can understand the value of 33!

534 Bheegi palko ke sang muskuraate hain hum,

pal-pal dil ko behlaate hain hum,

aap dooor hain humse to kya hua..

har saans mein aapki aahat paate hain hum.

535 Khushiyon se dil ko aabaad kar lena,

aur ghamo ko dil se aazaad kar dena,

humaari bad itni guzaarish hai ki..

dil se kabhi humein bhi yaad kar lena.

536 Pyaar mein mila har gham udhaar hota hai,

pyaar woh hota hai jisme intezaar hota hai,

sadiyon tak intezaar karte hain woh..

jinhe apne pyaar par aitbaar hota hai.

537 Ret ki zaroorat har registaan ko hoti hai,

sitaaron ki zaroorat har aasmaan ko hoti hai,

tum humein bhool mat jaana kyonki..

sachche dosto ki zaroorat har kisi ko hoti hai.

538 Woh humein bhoolane ki baat karte hain,

zaraa poocho woh humein kab yaad karte hain,

jo karte the kabhi humse pyaar hone ka daava..

aaj akele rehne ki baat karte hain.

539 Meri yaad aaye = Yaad Karo

Zyaada yaad aaye = SMS Karo

Aur zyaada yaad aaye = Phone Karo

Aur bhi zyaada yaad aaye = Milo

Us-se bhi zyaada yaad aaye = To please jhooth bolna band karo.

540 Har pal ki dosti ka iraada hai aapse,

apnapan bhi kuch zyaada hai aapse,

na sochenge sirf umar bhar ke liye..

qayaamat tak dosti nibhaayenge yeh waada hai aapse.

541 Friendship is a network that needs no recharging,

no roaming, no validity,

no activation, no signal problem,

just don't switch off your heart.

542 Yeh dua hai humaari,

zindagi sanwar jaaye tumhaari,

har nazar mein aapko sirf pyaar nazar aaye..

khuda kare aap jiski talaash mein hon..

woh khud aapki talaash mein aaye.

543 Love isn't made only for lovers,

it's also for friends

who love each other

better than lovers.

So lots of love to all friends.

544 Pati: Aaj tumne yeh kaisa khaana banaaya hai..Gobar jaisa.

Patni: Hey Bhagwaan, is aadmi ne kya-kya chakh rakha hai.

545 Saaton aasmaan ki sair hum kar aaye,

har ek taare se dosti kar aaye,

ek taara khaas tha jise hum apne saath le aaye..

warna aap hi sochiye aap zameen par kaise aaye.

546 May many colors of holi bring many eternal joys

and pleasures to you and your happy family..

547 Mithaayian ho over flow,

masti ho kabhi na low,

rang aur gulaal ka surur chaahe rahe,

packet mein bhari maya rahe,

gud luck ki ho bauchaar,

aaya holi ka tyohaar..happy holi.

548 Laal gulaabi rang hai,

jhoom rahaa sansaar,

suraj ki roshni, khushiyon ki bahar,

chaand ki kiran, apno ka pyaar,

mubaarak ho aapko holi ka tyohaar.

549 Tesu ki khushboo, rango ki bahaar,

kaanji ka ras, gujjia ka swaad,

man mein tarange, dilon mein pyaar,

yahi hai holi ka pyaara tyohaar.

550 Ek mulaakat karo humse inaayat samajh kar,

har cheez ka hisaab denge qayaamat samajh kar,

mere pyaar per kabhi shak na karna..

pyaar bhi karte hain ibaadat samajh kar.

551 may god gift you all the colors of life,

colors of joy, colors of happiness,

colors of love.wish you a very happy holi.

552 Dost aksar yun hi ban jaate hain,

kuch saath rehte hain kuch bichar jaate hain

kuch yaad rakhte hain kuch bhool jaate hain

ab hum aapko dekhte hain aap kahaan tak saath nibhaate hain.

553 Rango ki varsha, gulaal ki fuhaar,

suraj ki kirne, khusiyon ki bochaar,

chandan ki khushboo apno ka pyaar,

mubaarak ho aapko holi ka tyohaar.

554 A man is lucky to be the first love of a woman

and a woman is lucky to be the last love of a man.

555 White for peace, red for purity,

orange for prosperity, purple for romance,

yellow for health, green for wealth,

and blue for joy.

May GOD give you every color of life on this holi.

556 With petals of roses, palm full of holy water,

light of sunshine, fragrance of flowers and grass with dew,

i wish you very happy holi.

557 Laal gulaabi rang hai, jhoom rahaa sansaar,

suraj ki kiran, khushiyon ki bahaar,

chaand ki chaandni, apno ka pyaar,

shubh ho aapka yeh rango ka tyohaar.

happy holi.

558 Gulaal, gujia, gubaare, gulgule,

is there anything else to say..?

hv a colorful holi.

559 Pyaar ke rang se bharo pichkaari,

sneh ke rang se rang do duniya saari,

ye rang na jaane koi jaat na koi boli..

aapko advance meni mubaarak ho happy holi.

560 w

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wis

you

hap

wish

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happy

*'''*'''*'''*'''*

*$happy holi$*

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561 2 din baad aap

lal peel hare kaale

ho jaaoge..

ghabraao nahi yaar 2 din baad holi hai!!

happy holi.

562 Log milte hain everytime..

pasand aate hain sometime..

dosti hoti hai one time..

jo rehti hai life time.

563 Pal-pal se banta hai ehsaas..

ehsaas se banta hai wishwaas..

wishwaas se bante hain rishtey..

rishton se banta hai koi khaas..

jaise aap.

564 Hi jaan .....

kahaan ho jaan .....

kab miloge jaan ....

miss u jaan .....

i love u jaan .....

zyaada khush mat ho..

aur har blank ke aage "war" laga ke

sach pata kar lo.

565 Har ilzaam ka haqdaar woh humein banaa jaate hain,

har khata ki sazaa woh humein bataa jaate hain,

hum har baar khaamosh reh jaate hain..

kyonki woh har baar dost hone ka haq jataa jaate hain.

566 Kaafila-e-raftaar ho umdaa..

aur saath mein rafeeq,

to kya bataaein..

ki rishi ne raah-guzar kahaan ki.

567 Socha tha woh aayenge humaare bhi,

nikal liye chupke se mere kooche se.

568 At the end all things are OK.

If not OK then it is not the end.

569 Suna hai woh jaate hue keh gaye,

ki ab to hum sirf tumhaare khawaabon mein aayenge,

koi keh de unse ki woh waadaa kar lein..

hum umar bhar ke liye so jaayenge.

570 Aapki dosti, aapki wafaa hi kaafi hai,

tamaam umar yeh aasraa hi kaafi hai,

jab bhi waqt mile muskura kar yaad kar lena..

humaari khushi ke liye yeh silsila hi kaafi hai.

571 Ek dil mere dil ko zakhm de gayaa,

zindagi bhar jeene ki kasam de gayaa,

laakhon mein ek chuna humne jise..

woh kaanto se bhari chubhan de gayaa.

572 Mohabbat ka imtihaan aasaan nahi,

pyaar sirf paane ka naam nahi,

muddatein beet jaati hain kisi ke intezaar mein..

yeh sirf pal-do-pal ka kaam nahi.

573 Life is all about waking up each day

to discover something new,

about meeting old people

but making new conversations,

walking through old roads

but still feeling nice about it,

realizing that you have grown a day older

but still feeling young at heart,

meeting busy schedules

but still finding time for old friends,

being nostalgic about by gone days

but looking forward to better days,

wanting to shoot the sender

who sent you such a long message

but still manage to smile..

574 Hue kitne fanha is ishq-o-khumaar mein,

ik aur jaam de saaqi un jaane waalon ke naam pe,

salaamat rahe to fir milenge..

nahi to de dena ik jaam mehfil mein mere bhi naam pe.

575 Zinda hu per woh maraa samajh baithe hain,

jaane kya hui khata..

nam aankho ko rudaali samajh baithe hain.

576 Never search your happiness in others

which will make you feel alone,

search it in yourself..

you will be happy even when you are left alone.

577 Never change your originality for the sake of others,

because it is your world and no one can play

your role better than you!!

578 Bijli + Baadal = Saavan Aaya

Baaraat + Baja = Dulha Aaya

Phool + Nazaare = Vasant Aaya

Aap + Aapki Hasi = Bhago Bhago..Bhoot Aaya!!

579 Hum gaye unki gali mein,

bole dil se dil laga lo,

jab dekha uski mummy ko to bole..

Joote, chappal theek kara lo.

580 Love Never Dies!!

It Remains Forever!!

n Forever..

n Forever..

n Forever..

Only Partner Changes..

581 Why are doctors prescriptions impossible to read??

Because they all have an exclusive message only for the chemist.

"Maine to is patient ko loot liya, ab teri baari!!"

582 Media people asked abhishek,

what is the difference between new n old umraao jaan..?

Abhishek replied, not a big difference,

nayi mein apni setting hui..

aur purani mein papa ki..

583 Saddam(Narak mein): Yamraaj ji, mujhe pakistan baat karni hai.

Yamraaj: Karlo.

After the call..

Saddam: Kitne rupae hue..?

Yamraaj: Narak to narak calls free hain.

584 Na jaane woh humse kya chupaati thi,

kuch tha uske honto pe magar na jaane kyon sharmaati thi,

jab humne muh khulwaa ke dekha..

to pataa chalaa..

woh to gutkha khaati thi!!

585 Wife to husband: Stop looking at girls..you are married now.

Husband: You mean, if i am on a diet..i can't even look at the menu.

586 Kisi ne is par nazar daali..

Kisi ne us par nazar daali..

humne jis par nazar daali,

uske baap ne uski shaadi kar daali.

587 Wonderful couples in this world..

Heart n Beats

Night n Moon

Music n Songs

Roses n Love

Fish n Water

My message n Your Smile!!

588 Kudrat ke karishmo mein agar raat na hoti,

khawaabo mein bhi unse mulaqat na hoti,

yeh dil har gham ki wajah hai..

yeh dil hi na hota to koi baat na hoti.

589 Gadha har waqt udaas kyun rehta hai..??

?

??

???

22 terian tu hi jaane..

590 Answer this: Black is a color.

White is a color.

But black and white is not a color tv.

WHY??

591 Husband wife ghoomne gaye.

Raaste mein ek gadha ghaas khaa raha tha.

Husband: Dekho tumhaara rishtedaar ghaas khaa rahaa hai.

Namaste karo.

Wife boli: Namaste sasurji.

592 Coin always make sound, but

the currency notes are always silent.

So when your value increases..

keep yourself calm and silent.

593 Best end is Friend.

Best stand is Understand.

Best age is Courage.

Best work is Hardwork.

Best day is Today.

Think best n be best..

594 Jise koyal samjha woh kauwa nikla,

dosti ke naam per hauwa nikla,

jo mujhe rokta tha sharaab peene ke liye..

usi ki jeb mein pauwa nikla.

595 GOD created good heart, you got it..

He created good brain, you got it..

He created good face, you got it..

He created a good friend, but this time

i got it..

596 Kaun kambakht chaahta hai bhulaana,

dhoondte rehte hain yaad karne ka bahaana,

aap karein lakh berukhi..

farz hai humaara dosti yaad dilaana.

597 SHE the creator,

SHE the care-taker,

SHE the destroyer..

SHE the beauty,

SHE the ugly..

SHE the u,

SHE am i..

Souls free,

Spirits immortal..

598 Yeh mana hain woh khafa,

yeh mana hai humein fir bhi wafa,

nazar bhar dekh lijiye..

hai aakhir ik khoobsurat adaa.

599 i may be ignorant in the eyes of others

but i thank GOD for it guides me to LOVE..

i may be projecting image of an immature and irresponsible person

but who cares for image in LOVE..

600 Cricketer ka beta: Arre dekho maa..

papa sixer per sixer maare jaa rahe hain!!

Maa: Beta theek se dekho..

advertisement hoga.

602 He who knows to stop at what he does not know is perfect.

601 What you say today will have a different meaning tomorrow.

603 Give laughs to all but smile to one,

give cheeks to all but lips to one,

give love to all but heart to one,

let everybody love u but U love one!

604 i am weak in maths,

but i am able to count the minutes which i spend with you.

i am weak in history,

but i have never seen a friend like you in my whole life.

i am weak in geography,

but i can recognise the wonderful place where i first met you.

i am weak in studies,

but i know i can get 100% in your Beautiful Friendship..!!

605 Santa wanted to make an STD call to Hoshiyarpur

but it was too expensive.

Can u guess what he did..?

He went to hosiyarpur and

made a local call.

Bolo tara ra ra..!!

606 Don't ever be angry on your friends..

because upto the last moments of our life,

what pains us is not the words of our enemies,

but the SILENCE of our friends.

607 Can i spell s_ccess without u?

or c_te or h_mble or f_n or f_t_re

or even tr_st.

What will i do without u?

i proud a friend like u.

608 Once all village people decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer, all people gathered and

only one boy came with an umbrella.

That's faith..believe in yourself.

609 When i was walking alone,

i wished that i can reach the end of the road.

But when u r walking with me,

i wish the road never ends..

610 When TITANIC was drowning, an Italian asks Santa,

"How far is land?"

Santa:"4 kms."

Italian jumps into sea and asks,

"Which direction?"

Santa: "DOWNWARDS..!"

611 When you wait for someone

for few minutes.. it's need,

for few hours.. it's trust,

for few weeks.. it's friendship

But to wait when you know that

that person will not come..

it's love..!!

612 Without your sms days are like this:

moanday, tearsday,

wasteday, thistday,

frightday, shatterday and

sadday.

So send me sms everyday.

613 You want and you get.. that is luck.

You want and you wait.. that is time.

You want but you compromise.. that is life.

You want, you wait, you compromise..

and still don't get..

that is LOVE!

614 The difference between Smile & Your face is that

Smile is something Nice to see on Your face but

Your face is something nice too see always,

Even without Smile.

615 There is something positive in every person &

in every situation.

Even a stopped Clock is right twice a day.

616 Friends may meet,

friends may scatter,

if hearts are loyal,

distance doesn't matter.

617 Nobody teaches the sun to rise,

a river to flow,

a fish to swim,

a bird to fly,

a plant to grow,

a child to cry,

and nobody teaches heart to choose a friend like YOU.

618 Love is so easy to feel, so hard to explain,

easy to get, so hard to let go,

easy to spell, so hard to define,

yet everyone is still taking the risk.

619 Love is like the relationship

between hand and eye.

Its like when the hand get hurt,

eye cries and

when eye cries

the hand wipes..

620 Love is like a bird, if you hold it tightly,

it dies

if you hold it slightly

it flies

if you hold it correctly

it shits in your hand

so

stay away & enjoy life.

621 Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other.

It is fed with the necessity of seeing each other.

It is concluded with the impossibility of separation.

622 Losing the person you love hurts,

some people say you'll get over it easily,

but it's really tough especially when the one you loved

was the only one you ever loved.

623 Your absence should be long enough so that somebody misses you.

but it shouldn't be so long that somebody learns to live without you.

So, KEEP IN TOUCH!

624 You love someone..you marry someone else..

the one you marry becomes your wife or husband..

and the one you loved becomes the password of your email id.

625 You are a good runner

because you are always running on my mind.

You are a good thief

because you have stolen my heart

and i m not a good shooter

because i always miss you.

626 Why love marriage is better than arranged..?

Because a known devil is better

than an unknown ghost..!!

627 Wife: Darling, today is our anniversary.

What should we do..??

Husband: Let us stand in silence for two minutes.

628 Who are we to say:

Who is Hindu??

Who is Muslim??

When there is ALI in diwALI n

RAM in RAMzaan..

UNITE MANKIND..

629 6u!l!ws d33>l

6u!l!ws d33>l

6u!l!ws d33>l

6u!l!ws d33>l

Reverse n read!!!!!

630 A friend is sweet when it's new.

It is sweeter when it is true!

But you know what..?

It is sweetest when it is you..

631 Days are too busy.

Hours are too fast.

Seconds are too few.

But there's always time

for me to remember a nice person

-==LIKE YOU==-

632 Earth, power, politics, wars, nations,

slaves, freedom, LOVE, Earth.

Spread love not fake thoughts of country,

Aim - One Earth, One Country.

Think to get One, think LOVE..

633 Feeling is a painting,

never spoil it.

Face is a book,

try to read it.

Love is precious,

be ready to sacrifice for it.

Friendship is a mirror,

never break it.

634 Forgetting you is hard to do,

forgetting me is upto you,

forget me not, forget me never

and you'll have a best friend forever.

635 WIFE STANDS FOR

1.Worries Invited For Ever

2.With Idiot For Ever

3.Without Information Fighting Everytime

4.Wonderful Item For Enjoyment

5.(Yet Thinking.... ;-)

636 My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

637 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

638 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

639 I was married by a judge.

I should have asked for a jury.

640 I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,

"There was water in the carburetor." I said,

"Where's the car?"

She said, "In the lake."

641 The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

642 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

"You know, I was a fool when I married you."

The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love

and didn't notice."

643 When a man steals your wife,

there is no better revenge than

to let him keep her.

644 I haven't spoken a word to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

645 My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.

So I got two girlfriends.

646 A man said his credit card was stolen

but he decided not to report it because

the thief was spending less than his wife did.

647 Getting married is very much like

going to a restaurant with friends.

You order what you want,

then when you see what the other fellow has,

you wish you had ordered that.

648 Man is incomplete until he is married.

Then he is finished.

649 A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

650 Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of

Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

651 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real

happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.

652 A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

653 A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."

"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.

The woman replied, "A billionaire.

654 The trouble with being the best man at a wedding

is that you never get to prove it.

655 A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,

"I've found a woman just like mother!"

His father replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

656 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.

The rest cheat in Europe.

657 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

658 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention

to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

659 I married Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was Always.

660 It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

661 Losing a wife can be very hard.

In my case, it was almost impossible.

662 A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -

money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a

beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!"

"What happened?" asked his friend.

"My wife found out..."

663 Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go

through life thinking they had no faults at all.

664 I think one of the greatest things about marriage is

that as both husband and father, I can say anything

I want to around the house.

Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

665 A successful man is one who makes more money than

his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

666 Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.

They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

667 How do most men define marriage?

A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

668 The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is

to forget it once.

669 First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

670 Every man should get married some time;

after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!

671 An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have;

the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

672 Bachelors should be heavily taxed.

It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

673 Don't marry for money;

you can borrow it cheaper.

674 I don't worry about terrorism.

I was married for two years.

675 A psychiatrist is a person who will

give you expensive answers

that your wife will give you for free.

676 Bachelors know more about women than married men;

If they didn't, they'd be married too.

677 Men have a better time than women;

for one thing, they marry later,

for another thing, they die earlier.

678 A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.

679 Marriage is a three-ring circus:

-Engagement ring

-Wedding ring

-Suffering

680 When a newly married couple smiles,

everyone knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles,

everyone wonders why.

681 Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

682 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,

you can be sure of one thing:

either the car is new or the wife.

683 I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

684 I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

She said, "Somewhere I have never been!"

I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

685 We always hold hands.

If I let go, she shops.

686 My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.

That was only for the estimate.

687 She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

688 She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?"

Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"

689 A couple came upon a wishing well.

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too.

But she Leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"

690 Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.

After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

691 Every morning i wake i up and

ask myself this question that

why i miss you so much..??

Then a voice comes out

from the core of my heart

that it's just because

U r U..

692 Waada to nahi karte ki dosti nibhayenge,

par itna to hai ki tumhein na sataayenge,

jab bhi zaroorat pade to dil se pukarna,

latrine mein bhi honge to bina dhoye aa jaayenge..

693 Kadam-kadam par bahaaron ne saath chhoda,

zaroorat padne par yaaron ne saath chhoda,

vaade kiye sitaaron ne saath dene ke,

lekin subha hone par sitaaron ne bhi saath chhoda.

694 Kuch bikhre sapno se aankhon mein nami hai,

ek chhota sa aasmaan aur umeedon ki zameen hai,

yun to bahut kuch hai zindagi mein,

bas jo dost dooor hai, uski kami hai..

695 Har insaan ki alag pehchaan hoti hai,

humaare sms ki alag hi shaan hoti hai,

har kisi ko karte nahi sms magar,

jisko karte hain us-mein humaari jaan hoti hai..

696 Let this dusshera give 10 showers upon u:

1. Shanti 2. Shakti 3. Saiyam

4. Sanmaan 5. Saraltaa 6. Safaltaa

7. Samriddhi 8. Sanskaar 9. Swasthya

10. Satya-nishtha

HAPPY DUSSHERA!!

697 Ek aurat coke pee rahi thi

ki coke mein ek cheenti gir gayi.

Cheenti ka baap aurat se jo bola

woh sun kar aurat behosh ho gayi..

"TERI COKE MEIN MERI BACCHI HAI"

698 Never look for a good face,

it will turn old one day.

Never look for good skin,

it will wrinkle one day.

BUT.....

look for a Loyal Heart that will miss you EveryDay.

699 Solve this puzzle

"i live in water,

if u cut my head

i am at your door,

if u cut my tail,

i am a fruit,

if u cut both,

then i am with u".

ANSWER: PEARL

700 I am a dream seller

I am here to listen to you

and about ur dreams..

I sell dreams and buy them too

by paying in a currency called SMILES..

I know that you are a dreamer too

and holds many beautiful dreams.

I am luking forward for a gr8 business together..

701 Love is-

99% unstoppable,

99% unimaginable,

99% emotional,

99% desire,

99% destiny,

99% joy,

But a friend like u is 1% more than love.

702 Height of Patience:

A naked woman lying under a banana tree

with her legs apart waiting for banana to fall.

Height of Laziness:

A guy lying on a girl

waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.

Height of Competition:

A guy peeing beside a waterfall.

Height of Sophistication:

Sucking nipples with a straw.

Height of Penetration:

A baby girl born pregnant.

Height of Technology:

A condom with a zip.

Height of Frustration:

A boxer trying to scratch his balls.

703 Aspire to acquire the desire

that you admire.

But in the process if you prespire

then do not retire but re-fire to

acquire the desire that you admire.

704 Have a heart that never hates,

Have a smile that never fades,

Have a touch that never hurts,

And have a friendship that never breaks..

705 Friendship may be old,

friends may be new,

true friends are very few,

so whenever u r lonely

remember it's true that

someone somewhere is thinking of U..

706 Those who joyfully leave everything in God's hands

will eventually see God's hand in everything.

Worry ends where faith begins!!

707 What is attitude..?

Three ants saw an elephant coming.

1st ant - We'll kill him.

2nd ant - We'll break his legs.

3rd ant - Leave him dude, he's alone,

and we r three.. that won't be fair.

708 What is friendship.......?

You fight about the smallest things

in life when you are together

and miss those smalles things

when you are torn apart by time..

709 What is love?

It's when u hide tears

n still care for him/ her.

It's when he/ she ignores u

n u still love him/ her.

It's when he/ she begins to love someone else

n u smile for him/ her.

710 What is marriage?

Answer: 1st year:

Alpenlibe - Jee lalchaaye rahaa na jaaye.

2nd year:

TVS - Meelon chalti muskaan.

3rd year:

Kinetic - Sabki hawa nikaal de.

4th year:

Chlormint - Dubaara mat poochna.

711 Galileo: Great mind.

Einstein: Extraordinary mind.

Bill Gates: Brilliant mind.

Me: Master mind.

U: Never mind.

712 Life never seems to be the way we want it,

but we live in the best way we can.

There's no perfect life but

we can fill it with perfect moments.....

713 Last night I had a dream.

I was walking along on a beach with GOD.

I asked him, why i m having a friend like u?

GOD replied: it's all ur back life sins..

714 Gold, Silver, Platinum,

Copper, Radium, Quicksilver

all metals are valuable

but they have no comparison with you

because

A Diamond is forever..!!

715 Faith makes everything possible,

hope makes everything work,

Love makes everything beautiful.

May U hv all the three in your life!!

716 Faith makes everything possible,

hope makes everything work,

Love makes everything beautiful.

A friend like you makes life meaningful.

717 Cat: How old are you?

Elephant: I am just five.

Cat: 5? How come, you look so big?

Elephant: I am a complan boy.

Elephant how old r u?

Cat: I am just 30.

Elephant: 30? But you are looking so small?

Cat: I am a santoor girl..

718 Softly the leaves of memory fall,

slowly i will gather & pick them all,

because today, tomorrow & till my life is through,

i'll always cherish having a friend like U.

719 New Teacher:

Students tell ur name and hobbies.

Now Boys start:

I am Robert, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.

I am Rohit, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.

I am Raghu, My hobby is watching bubble in the bath tub.

Teacher: I wonder u all have same hobbies, next girl..

I am bubble.

720 I want to say something now..

I L

I LO

I LOV

I LOVE

I LOVE Y

I LOVE YO

I LOVE YOGA.

It's good for health.

721 Valuing someone isn't merely by seeing

each other everyday.

What counts is that somehow

in our busy lives

we remember to say

TAKE CARE!!

U r always remembered.

722 We believe we can fly,

we believe we can touch the sky,

nothing is going to stop our way,

that's all we want to say.

We believe we can fly,

we believe we can touch the sky,

we must dream to be among the stars,

we must dream the dreams.

We must dare to challenge,

put in the efforts and belive me..

DREAMS CAN BE MADE TO COME TRUE..

Keep dreaming.. Keep achieving.

My Wishes..

723 A child uses its thumb 2 chew,

an illiterate uses his thumb 2 sign,

a winner uses his thumb 2 show victory,

but a monkey is using thumb to read this sms !!!

724 Girls are like Internet Viruses,

they ENTER ur life,

SCAN ur pockets,

TRANSFER money,

EDIT ur mind,

DOWNLOAD their problems,

DELETE ur smile, and

HANG u forever..

725 Five important lessons to learn from a humble pencil:

1st- It tells you that everything u do will always leave a mark.

2nd- U can always correct the mistakes u can make.

3rd- What's important is what is inside u & not outside of u.

4th- In life u will undergo painful sharpenings which will make u better in what u do.

Lastly, to be the best u can be, u must allow urself to be held and guided by the hand

that holds u.

726 Degrees of Girls..

B.A. - Beautiful Angel

M.B.A. - Married But Available

B.L. - Beautiful Lips

M.B.B.S. - Married But Bekaar Structure

B.D.S. - Beautiful & Damn Sexy

727 A simple poem 4 U:

Forgetting U is hard to do

forgetting me is up to U!

forget me never &

U'll have a great friend forever!!

728 Gandhiji chale gaye,

Nehruji chale gaye,

Bhagat Singh ji bhi chale gaye,

Aajkal meri bhi tabeeyat theek nahi rehti

pataa nahi desh ka kya hoga..??

729 Masoom mohabbat ka bas itna fasaana hai,

kaagaz ki haveli hai.. baarish ka zamaana hai,

kya shart-e-mohabbat hai.. kya shart-e-zamaana hai,

aawaaz bhi zakhmi hai aur geet bhi gana hai,

us paar utarne ki umeed bahut kam hai,

kashti bhi purani hai,

tufaan ko bhi aana hai,

samjhe ya na samjhe who andaaz mohabbat ke,

ek shaks ko aankhon se haal-e-dil sunaana hai,

bholi si ada.. koi fir ishq ki zid par hai,

fir aag ka dariyaa hai, fir doob ke jaana hai..

fir aag ka dariyaa hai, fir doob ke jaana hai..

730 Ek baar ek aadmi apni behen ke saath market jaata hai.

beech raaste mein kuch tapori log baithe rehte hain.

Tapori log us aadmi ke saath maal ko dekh kar ek dum se chedte hain,

KYA RAAPCHIK MAAL HAI, KYA BIWI HAI BE,

Woh aadmi ekdum bhadak jaataa hai,

lal peela hara ho jaataa hai,

aur phir chilla kar bolta hai,

ABEY BIWI HOGI TERI, MERI TO BEHEN HAI.

731 If A is 1, B is 2 and so on, then

L+O+V+E is 54 and

F+R+I+E+N+D+S+H+I+P is 108.

Friendship is twice as strong as love.

732 Some of the best moments of life.

Lying on the bed, listening to the rain outside.

Thinking about the person u love.

Taking a long drive on a calm road.

A sweet an emotional conversation.

Finding money in ur old jeans just when u needed.

Giggling naughtily.

Holding hands with ur friend for a walk.

Getting a hug from someone u care the most.

The moments ur eyes are filled with tears after a big laugh.

This is all a part of life.

Just Enjoy!!

733 Woh nadi nahi thi aansu the mere,

jis mein who kashti chalaate rahe,

manzil mile unhe yeh dua thi meri,

isliye hum aansu bahaate rahe.

734 Girl to sardaar- Will u marry me?

Sardaar- In our family we only marry relatives.

Mom married Dad, bhaiya married bhabhi,

didi married jiju.

So i can't marry u, Sorry..

735 Khushi se dil ko aabaad karna,

har gham ko dil se aazaad karna,

hamaari bas itni guzaarish hai ki,

humein bhi din mein ek baar yaad karna.

736 Mera dil itna bada hai......

itna bada hai.........

itna bada hai.........

itna bada hai.........

chal rehne de, tere mobile ka screen chota hai..!

737 Elephant, cow and donkey arguing on

who is the best.

Elephant: I help to move heavy loads.

Cow: I give milk.

Say something, ya ya its ur turn..

738 Someone asked me:

For how long will you both be friends?

I remained silent,

coz i didn't know

which one is longer

ALWAYS

or

FOREVER

739 Patient: Aapne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai

uske haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.

Doctor: Jaanta hun,

chaante ki aawaaz mujhe bhi sunaai di thi.

740 Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dekh,

tune poora parvat ungli per uthaaya,

apne sir per exams ka pressure uthaa kar to dekh.

tune 18 saal ki umar mein mama kans ko maara,

bin laaden ko haath lagaa kar to dekh.

Tune bhari mehfil mein draupadi ko saare pehnaai,

mallika ko ek jodi kapde pehnaa kar to dekh.

Tune gokul ki 1600 gopiyaan saath mein rakhi,

kalug ki ek ladki pataa ke to dekh.

Hey Krishna tu is kalyug mein aa kar to dekh.

741 Some facts about ur life:

1. Any similarity between u n a human being is a pure coincidence.

2. I don't know what makes u so stupid but whatever it is, it works.

3. I heard u got a brain transplant n the brain rejected you.

Plz don't thank me for insulting u.

It was my pleasure!

742 Birth is the start of life,

Beauty is the art of life,

Mystery and risk are part of life,

But a sweet person like u is heart of life.

743 Suna hai ki pramod mahajan

ke bhai ne usko goli maar di thi

coz woh usko na call aur na hi msg bhejta tha..

aapka kya khayaal hai..?

msg karoge..? Ya main aa kar miloon..?

744 Ek sher doctor ki zubaani-

hun main doctor wahaan,

meri biwi hai nurse jahaan,

yeh kaisa zulm sehna pad raha hai,

mujhe apni wife ko sister kehna pad rahaa hai..

745 Evolution of man:

Shaadi ke pehle: Hero No. 1

Shaadi ke baad: Coolie No. 1

Shaadi ke pehle: Maine pyaar kiya

Shaadi ke baad: Yeh maine kya kiya

Shaadi ke pehle: Jaaneman mat jaao

Shaadi ke baad: Jaan mat khaao

Shaadi ke pehle: Tum bin raha na jaaye

Shaadi ke baad: Tum ko sahaa na jaaye

Shaadi ke pehle: Kuch to bolo

Shaadi ke baad: Kabhi chup bhi ho jaaya karo

Shaadi ke pehle: I LOVE U

Shaadi ke baad: Aaj fir aaloo

Shaadi ke pehle: Milne kab aaogi

Shaadi ke baad: Maaike kab jaaogi

746 Maine usko salaam likh bheja,

hal-e-dil tamaam likh bheja,

maine poocha tere honth kaise hain?

usne jaam likh bheja

maine poocha tere baal kaise hain?

usne kudrat ka inaam likh bheja

maine poocha kab hogi mulaqaat?

usne qayamat ki shaam likh bheja

maine poocha itna tadpaate kyon ho?

usne pyaar ka imtehaa likh bheja

maine poocha tumhe nafrat hai kis se?

zaalim ne mera naam likh bheja.

747 Sharaarat na hoti..shikaayat na hoti,

naino mein kisi ke nazaakat na hoti,

na hoti beqaraari..na hote hum tanha,

jo jahaan mein kambakht yeh mohabbat na hoti..

na hote yeh sapne..yeh khawaabon ki duniya,

kisi ko chaahat ki tamanna na hoti,

na zulfon ki chaaon..na phoolon ki khushboo,

yaadon mein unki yeh raatein na kat-ti,

jo na hoti mohabbat to yeh aansu na hote,

dil bhi na khota..aaj tanha na rota,

deewano si apni yeh haalat na hoti,

jo jahaan mein kambakht yeh mohabbat na hoti..

748 || Vakra tunda mahakaya surya

koti samaprabha nirvighnam kuru me deva sarva

karyeshu sarvada ||

749 When i was sad u were there,

when i was crying u were there,

when i was unhappy u were there,

now i hv understood

ki saare fasaad ki jad tu hi hai.

750 Yeh chaand bhi dekho kya ajeeb sitam dhaata hai,

bachpan mein yeh mama

aur jawaani mein sanam nazar aata hai,

kehne ko to hain chaand mein daag bahut,

aashiqo ko fir bhi sunder nazar aata hai,

chup jaata hai jab bhi yeh baadlo ki oat mein,

deedar-e-husn paane ko har ek machal jaata hai,

laakho taaro se bhari hai aasmaani chaadar phir bhi,

chaand to har dum tanha hi nazar aata hai.....

751 KBC dweetiya!!

Chaliye aaie, aap aur hum is khel ko khelte hain.

Q: Nobody's like U, coz u r:

A: Fool

B: Monkey

C: Idiot

D: Mental

kya kahaa, 50/50 use karna chaahte hain.

Computerji plz do galat jawaab mitaa dijiye,

aur hamaare saamne rehne dijiye

1 sahi aur 1 galat jawaab.

B: Monkey

D: Mental

so u want to use ph. a friend lifeline?????

OK.....call me i'll tell u!!!!!!!!!

752 Mrs. Dahi & Bhalla request the pleasure of ur company

to attend the marriage of their son

Kaka Gol Gappa WEDS Bibi Paapdee(D/O Mrs. Kachori & Mr. Samosa of Tikkipur)

at Pastry Hall on 05 Nov 1983, near Jalebi Chowk, Lijjat Papad Nagar.

PIN:420840

Mele chachu ki shaadi mein jalul aana..

Baby boondi., RSVP Masaaley.

753 Agar muh meeta karna ho to..

KISS

KISS

KISS

KISS...........

Kishmish khaao aur so jaao.

754 Doctor paagal se: Yeh chithi tum kise likh rahe ho..?

Paagal: Apne aap ko.

Doctor: Achcha isme kya likha hai.

Paagal: Maalum nahi.

Doctor: Kyu..?

Paagal: Abhi mujhe mili kahaan hai..!

755 Baniya on his deathbed:

Is my wife here?

YES.

Is my 1st son here?

YES.

Is my 2nd son here?

YES.

Kambakhto to fir dukaan per kaun hai?????

756 Zindagi sabko mile zaroori nahi,

mohabbat sabko mile zaroori to nahi,

kuch log bahut yaad aate hain zindagi mein,

woh bhi humein yaad karein zaroori to nahi.

757 U've good Style,

U've good Class,

U've good LOOKS,

U've good Face,

U've good Charm,

U've good Brains,

oops Sorry

galat number per msg bhej diya.....

758 Pyaar kehte hain,

mohabbat kehte hain,

kuch log humein bandgi kehte hain,

magar jinke saath hum dosti karte hain,

woh humein zindagi kehte hain..

759 In a jungle two tigers running,

four elephants sleeping,

five crocodiles waiting,

ten parrots flying and

one lion sending message

to a cute chimpanzee.

760 Thislove islove thelove bestlove waylove

tolove saylove thatlove ilove reallylove misslove

ulove solove muchlove.

Now read again without love.

761 If love is sweet y does it hurt.

if love is deep y does it burn.

If love is warm y do we shiver.

If love is tender y do we cry.

If love is forever y do we die.

762 Boy: I can kiss u without touching u.

Gal: U can't.

Boy: Hv a bet - 20 bucks.

Gal: OK

Boy kisses the gal tightly on lips.

Gal: U touched me!

Boy: Ok, u won 20 bucks..

763 Captain of military: Naujawaan, aage badho.

Ek sardaar aage nahi badhta.

Captain: Tum aage kyon nahi badhaa, jawaan.

Sardaar: Aapne kaha 9 jawaan aage badho,

main 10ve number per hun.

764 Aisa hai rishta hamaara:

Main kishti, tu kinaaraa,

main dhanush, tu teer,

main mutter, tu paneer,

main baarish, tu baadal,

main raajmaa, tu chaawal,

main hot, tu cool,

main april, tu foooooooool!!

765 Mohabbat ek se ho to bholapan hai

do se ho to bachpana hai

teen se ho to diwaanapan hai

char se ho to paagalpan hai

phir bhi counting na ruke to Kaminapan hai

KAMINE..

766 Woh taaza thanda paani,

woh khushboodaar saabun,

bathroom shampoo ki bottle se saja hai,

tum kya jano, dear.......

roz nahaane mein kitna mazaa hai.

767 World's most painful shaayeri ever

full of grief and sorrow:

Dil mein chubhi sui..

dil mein chubhi sui..

dil mein chubhi sui..

........uui uui.

768 Unki tasveer ko seene se lagaa lete hain,

is tarah judaai ka gham mita lete hain,

kisi tarah kabhi jikr ho jaaye unka to,

has kar bheegi palke chupaa lete hain.

769 My sweetheart,

my kuchikoo,

my nonumonu,

my golumolu,

my darling,

my cutipie,

my jaanu,

my lovely,

my heartbeat,

my sweetest,

DOGGY is missing dikhe to bataana.

770 My eyes-Miss U

My feelings-Luv U

My mind-Calls U

My life is U.

I'll die without U.

I LUV U..........

aisa teri friend mujhe bolti hai

SAMBHAL USKO.

771 Ek aadmi STD shop per phone karne jaata hai

aur STD waale ko 2 thappad maarta hai. Kyon..?????

Kyonki STD shop ke baahar likha tha,

dial karne se pehle 2 lagaayein.

772 Na guzarna eid ke din

kisi masjid ke saamne se,

kahi chaand samajh kar log apna roza na tod de,

aur hokar khafa kahin tumse

khuda tumhaare jaisa husn banaana hi na choad de.

773 Ae dost jab bhi tu udaas hoga,

hamaara khayaal tere paas hoga,

dil ki gehraayion se karoge jab bhi yaad,

tumhe hamaara sms prapt hoga.

774 Om namah shivaaye

on sai ram.. waheguru..

jai shri krishna..

daro mat, kisi ko bhejna nahi hai..

khud hi jap lo paapi.

775 No visits..

No calls..

No sms..

No emails..

No letters..

No missed calls..

No nothing..

i m worried.....

kya hua?

zoo waalon ne fir se pakad liya kya?????

776 A rajasthaani version of

johny-johny yes papa rhyme:

Kallu kallu,

ke baapu,

mitho khaayo,

na baapu,

jhooth boleyo,

na baapu,

jabraa khol,

thu thu thu.

777 Main Bewakoof

Main Bewakoof

Main Bewakoof

Main Bewakoof

Main Bewakoof

AAHISTA BOLO...

Yahaan tak aawaaz aa rahi hai..!

778 Phool khile, kaliyaan khili,

waah..waah..!!

Phool khile, kaliyaan khili,

ab gulaab ki baari hai.

humne to sms bhej diya..

ab janaab ki baari hai.

779 Yeh jo hasino ke baal hote hain,

ladkon ko fasaane ke jaal hote hain,

pee jaati hain saara khoon ladko ka,

tabhi to hoth itne laal hote hain!!!

780 Ladki ek aisi paheli hai,

kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai,

kharchaa karo to bole- Darling, I love u..

na karo to bole- Bhaiya, who r u..?

781 Mil jaati hai kitno ko khushi,

mit jaate hain kitno ke ghum,

messages isliye bhejte rehte hain hum,

ki dooor reh kar bhi na ho apno ki muskaan kam..

782 Chaahta hun tujhe pyaar dun,

teri dosti par apni zindagi waar dun,

par jab tera msg nahi milta,

to mann karta hai tere 8 gm ke bheje mein goli maar dun..

783 One day all people of earth went to GOD and asked:

Who is the most loving and sweetest person on earth?

They all went to earth with a new question,

Who is <sender's name>?

784 Sambhal-sambhal ke sajte hain

aaine mein woh

aur yeh bhi dekhte hain

koi dekhta na ho.

785 Nazar mila ke humse nazar chura mat lena,

dost bana kar humko dushman bana mat dena,

mana ki hum dooor hain aapse,

isi baat ka bahaana bana kar humko bhula mat dena.

786 Huzoor aadaab arz hai.

Lagta hai mausam kaafi sard hai.

Arre june ke mahine ka yahi marz hai,

par doston ko msg karne mein kya harz hai.

Aapko msg bhejna hamaaraa farz hai.

Kyonki aapka no. humaari ph. book mein darz hai.

Yeh msg type karte-karte humaari ungaliyon mein hua dard hai.

Itna jaan lo ae dost yeh badhiya msg aap par karz hai.

Is karz ko kaise chukaana hai, yeh sochna ab aapka farz hai.

787 Husn waale khoob wafaaon ka sila dete hain,

har mode per ek nayaa zhakm dete hain,

ae dost is jahaan mein koi apna nahi,

jab aag lagti hai to patte bhi hawaa dete hain.

788 Laal gulaabi rang hai,

jhoom rahaa sansaar hai,

suraj ki kirne, khushiyon ki bahaar,

chaand ki chaandni, apno ka pyaar,

mubaarak ho aapko rango ka tyohaar.

Happy Holi.

789 Kyon rakhta hai yaad numbron ko,

log to chehre tak bhool jaate hain,

hamaare naam to kar lete hain mobile mein feed,

per phone to doooor sms tak karna bhool jaate hain.

790 Kitnagussaaataahaijabkoibinaspaceskesmsbhejtahai

aurkitnamazaataahaijabkoibewakoofaankheinfaadfaad

karussmskopadhnekikoshishkartahai

aurfirmuskuraatahai..

791 Sirf..

Sirf..

Sirf..

Sirf..

Sirf..

Sirf..

Sirf..

Disturb karna tha.

792 Teri dosti ki roshni aesi hai ki,

har taraf ujaala nazar aataa hai,

sochtaa hun ghar ki bijli katwaa doo,

kambakht bill bahut aataa hai.

793 Kal ek sapna dekha ki

Swarag ke ek bade se haal mein

Bhagwaan Ji ne sabko apne paap likhne ko kahaa.

Maine likhna shuru hi kiya tha ki

tum chillaye-"Xtra sheet plzz....."

794 Is sms ko saare kaam choad kar mat padho,

is sms ko aap baad mein bhi pad sakte ho,

yeh sms koi joke nahi hai,

yeh sms bahut important bhi nahi hai,

is sms mein mujhe aapko kuch kehna nahi hai,

yeh sms thoda lamba jaroor hai,

par yeh sms kuch khaas nahi hai,

par mujhe is baat ki samajh nahi aati

ki aap is sms ko aise dhyaan se kyon padh rahe ho.

Yeh sms to maine waise hi time paas ke liye bheja tha.

Ab aapko mere par gussa aaya hoga,

par main kya karoon,

mujhe bhi kisi ne aise hi bheja tha.

795 Jaam kadwaa hai

per itna bhi nahi ki peeya na jaye,

zindagi mein gham hain

per itne bhi nahi ki jiya na jaaye,

maana sms ke charges hain

per itne bhi nahi ki kiya na jaaye.

796 Itne kamzor ho gaye hum aapki judaai se..

Itne kamzor ho gaye hum aapki judaai se..

ek din machchar bhi le gayaa,

uthaa ke razaai se!!

797 Doge to muskura kam se kam aap

par hai bheja sms yeh jisne

nikaloge gaaliyan ko samajhdaar us

aap baad ke padne ko sms is.

CONFUSED NA??????????

Neeche se upar padho.

798 DL9CN5875

DL08AS7724

DL03AA2305

DL08EE0026

HR011A0900

PB05AD2001

CH03AA5432

Itne gaur se kya dekh rahe ho?????

Kal subha in sab gaadiyon par kapdaa maar dena.

799 Din ke baad raat hua karti hai,

teri yaadon ki barsaat hua karti hai,

kaun kehta hai ki aap dooor hain mujhse,

bina bole bhi to sms se baat hua karti hai.

800 Boy: plz ek baar i love u bol de.

Girl: nahi mujhe sharam aati hai.

Boy: bol do na plz.

Girl: Dhattt.....

Boy: Plz ek baar..... dekh le..... behen nahi hai.

801 Boy to Father: Meri dooor ki nazar kharaab ho gayi hai, chashmaa le do.

Father took him outside and asked: Woh kya hai?????

Boy: Suraj.

Father: Abey Bhootni ke, ab aur kitni dooor dekhna chaahtaa hai!

802 Innocence at it's best-

Ek chota baby apni pregnant mummy se poochta hai:

Isme kya hai..?

Mummy: Isme ek pyaaraa sa baby hai.

Baby: Itna pyaaraa tha to khaa kyon gai..

803 God is so wise that He created friends without a price tag

because if He did, then i couldn't have afforded u...

5-10 paise ke sikke aajkal kahaan milte hain!!

804 Who is Hot?

It's U.

Who's Charming?

It's U.

Who's Sweetest?

It's U.

Who's Smart?

It's U.

Who's Darling of Millions?

It's U.

Zyaadaa udo mat, yeh message mujhe aaya tha..

805 Why a man with a broken heart does not need General Knowledge.?

Because..

Jab dil hi toot gayaa,

to hum G.K. kya karenge..

806 Why did the santa watched Rang de Basanti movie?????

He thought it was a movie on Holi!

Happy Holi!

807 Har kali aapse khushboo udhaar maange,

khuda aapse noor udhaar maange,

rab kare aap dosti nibhaayein aise,

har koi mujhse aapki dosti udhaar maange.

808 Aapki shaan mein arz hai:

nazar bhar ke dekh liya hota

agar tamanna thi daraane ki,

hum yun hi behosh ho jaate

kya zaroorat thi muskuraane ki.

809 Tum paas aaye,

Yun muskuraaye,

apne 32 daant,

mujhko dikhaaye,

dekh kar mera dil

phoot-phoot ke rota hai

yaar tumse BRUSH bhi

theek se nahi hota hai.

810 Jo is sms ko padh raha hai woh...........

Cute......Intelligent.........Cool

nahi hai to kya hua

jisne bheja woh to hai!!

811 Kitne haseen hai aap,

khud ko duniya ki nazar se bachaaya karo,

aankhon mein kaajal lagaana kaafi nahi hai,

gale mein neemboo-mirch bhi latkaayaa karo.

812 Ek dost jise duniya mein khuda maante hain,

jiske liye khuda se dua maangte hain,

khuda bhi khafaa hai humse

aap jaisa dost who bhi chaahte hain.

813 Attendance..

Pappu- Yes sir

Bablu- Yes sir

Tinku- Yes sir

Gullu- Yes sir

Ullu- ?????

Ullu- ?????

button na dabaao, present lagaao.

814 AyzazypzykyzaTyzizymzyebyzazyryzbzyazyd

kzyazyrzynzyatzyhzyakyzayzrdzyiyza..

Confuse ho gaye..?

y aur z delete karo aur padho..!

815 Hi stupid, hru?

Gussa na ho yaar,

STUPID means:

Super

Talented

Unique

Personality

In

Demand

Samajh aayaa??

Smiling now, u stupid!

816 Hasti thi hasti thi

Baalon ko lehraati thi

dekh kar sharmati thi,

kuch soch kar phir muskurati thi

aaj pataa chala

Saali PAAGAL thi.

817 Ek din jab hum duniya se chale jaayenge,

mat sochna aapko bhool jaayenge,

bas ek baar aasmaan ki taraf dekh lena,

mere sms sitaaron par likhe nazar aayenge.

818 Vishwaas rakhnaa meri dosti per,

hum aakhir tak dosti nibhaayenge,

zaroorat padi agar dosti mein imtihaan dene ki to.....

tum paper dena, hum parchi fenkne aayenge.

819 Kem cho, majama?

tabiyat saari?

baaki anand mangal?

angadi nathi dukhti ne?

aankh pan ok?

magaj baraabar?

kamaal cho yaar..

to paachi SMS karo ne bapa.

820 Dushmano mein bhi yaar mila karte hai,

kaanto mein bhi phool khila karte hain,

humko kaanta samajh kar choad na dena,

kaante hi to phool ki hifaazat kiya karte hain.

821 Ek aadmi kabr par baitha tha.

Musaafir ne poocha darr nahi lagtaa..?

Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai..?

Ander garmi lag rahi thi..to baahar aa gaya.

822 Ek aadmi ki 6 ungaliyaan thi,

usse log hanuman bulaate the,

bataao kyon??

Kyonki

uska naam hanuman tha..!!

823 Dus saal pehle: Girl-Maa mein jeans pehen loo?

Maa-Nahi.

Now-a-days: Girl-Maa mein mini pehen loo?

Maa-Pehen le beti kuch to pehen le..

824 Two girls came out of a movie

1st: Mera purse chori ho gayaa.

2nd: Lekin tera purse to blouse mein tha?

1st: Mujhe kya pataa tha, woh saalaa purse chura rahaa hai.

825 U are a DOG.

gussa ho?????

DOG means Darling Of Girls

Happy?????

has rahe ho?????

sach mein kutte ho.

826 Aankhon mein rehne waalon ko yaad nahi karte,

dil mein rehne waalon ki baat nahi karte,

humaari to rooh mein bas gaye ho aap,

tabhi to milne ki fariyaad nahi karte.

827 Jab tumhe uparwaale ne tapkaayaa hoga,

bahut mazaa aayaa hoga,

hansi di bachcho waali,

surat di bholi bhaali,

mizaaz diya cool..

per dimaag gayaa bhool..!

828 Haathon se gir gayi lakeer kahin,

bhool gaye hum apni taqdeer kahin,

agar tum ko mile kahin to uthaa lena,

mere hisse ki khushiyaan apne haathon mein sajaa lena.

829 Guzre hue kal ki yaad aati hai,

kuch lamho se aankhein bhar aati hain,

woh subha rangeen woh shaam nirali ban jaati hai,

jab aap jaise apno ki yaad aati hai.

830 Dilo se khelne ka hunar hame nahi aata

isliye ishq ki baazi hum haar gaye.

Meri zindagi se shaayad unhe pyaar tha

isliye mujhe zinda hi maar gaye.

831 A man gave advt. in matrimonial column:

"PATNI CHAHIYE"

He got several replies saying:

"MERI LE JAA"

832 A man: There is no word

as Impossible in my dictionary.

Santa: Abey to pehle hi

dekh kar khareedani chaahiye thi na.

833 Santa dials a number and a girl receives his call-

Santa: Who's this?

Girl: Main Sita.

Santa: Navaa seaapaa, main taan ludhiyaane keeta si,

eh taan ayodhya mil gayaa.

834 Santa goes to a police station & says,

"Mujhe phone per dhamkiyaan mil rahi hain."

Police: Kaun phone karta hai?

Santa: Phone company waale bolte hain BILL na diya to KAAT denge.....

835 Santa joined Army, given ak-47, puzzeled Santa asks Major,

"Sir, is bandook ki nali saamne rakhun ya ulta?"

Major: Kisi bhi tarah rakho, faayedaa desh ka hi hoga.

836 Santa standing on a platform, suddenly jumps on railway track.

A man shouts Sardaarji mar jaaoge.

Santa: Maregaa to tu saale,

suna nahin train platform no. 1 par aa rahi hai.

837 Santa was riding on horse.

He jumped the Red Light.

Policeman whisteled.

Santa lifts the tail of horse and said,

"Le kar le number note!!"

838 Santa went to a radio shop and started shouting,

Kamino maine PHILIPS ka radio maanga tha,

aur isko on kiya to yeh bolta hai ki,

yeh All India Radio hai..

839 Sholey film ke Gabbar ne Thaakur ke dono haath kaat diye.

Kya aap jaante ho kyon..?

Kyonki who usko sms nahi karta tha.

840 Santa baar-baar zebra crossing per idhar udhar chal raha tha,

woh kya soch raha hoga?????

"Yeh Piano saala bajta kyon nahi.......???"

841 Santa: Bhaisaab, kya time hua hai??

A man: 10:30

Santa: Saalaa subha se pooch rahaa hun,

sab alag alag time bataa rahe hain..

842 Santa, aapko logo ne kyon maara?

Santa: Arre yaar meri photo bus mein gir gayi thi.

Maine kaha Madam zaraa saaree upar kijiye, photo leni hai.

843 Santa: Yeh kela kaise diya?

Pundit: 1 rupee.

Santa: 60 paise ka deta hai?

Pundit: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka doonga.

Santa: Le 40 paise, chilka rakh ke sirf kela de de.

844 Bada armaan tha tere sang jeevan bitane ka,

shikwaa rahaa bas tere khamosh reh jaane ka,

deewangi isse badhkar kya hogi,

ki aaj bhi intezaar hai tere aane ka.

845 Baap: Qutab minar kahaan hai?

Beta: Pata nahi.

Baap: Kabhi ghar se baahar bhi nikla karo.

Beta: Ramlal kaun hai?

Baap: Pata nahi.

Beta: Kabhi ghar mein bhi raha karo.

846 Taare aasmaan mein chamakte hain,

baadal itni dooor hain fir bhi baraste hain,

hum bhi kitne naadaan hain,

aap dil mein rehte hain aur hum

aapse milne ko taraste hain.....

847 Sweet socho, smart socho,

achcha socho, sachcha socho,

pyaaraa socho.

I know it's difficult for u.

I have a shortcut for u.

Only mere baare mein socho.

848 Ab tak meri life ek khuli botal thi,

jisme se sab perfume ki tarah ud jaata tha,

par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gayaa,

Bhagwaan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN dost sabko mile..!!

849 Aap mein n coke mein kya similarities hain.....

Both r sweet, cool, easily available n

sabse badi similarity......

DHAKKAN!

850 A ki biwi B,

B ki bhabhi C,

C ki beti V

V ke daadaa G

G ki biwi K

K ki beti T

Now tell ki A aur T ka kya rishta hua??

851 9 arab 89 crore

10 lakh 69 thousand

and 004.

Daro mat, yeh mera bank balance nahi

mobile no. hai..!!

852 120 kg.

80 kg.

40 kg.

Sirf.....

aapke sms ke intezaar mein.

853 Zindagi guzre haste-haste,

pyaar aur khushi mile raste-raste,

ho mubaarak aapko naya savera,

kabool karein humaara salaam-namaste.

854 Some things I like about u.....

1. ______

2. ______

3. ______

4. ______

5. ______

Arre kuch to achcha kiya hota zindagi mein!!

855 Someday u'll forget abt me..

my name.. my voice..

who i am and who i am to u..

and if that ever happens..

teri kasam khoon-kharaabaa ho jaayegaa..

856 SMS ka sangrah kar ke kya paega vats... ?

Balance ka moh chhod aur SMS kar...

Mitron se sampark banaae rakhne mein hi swarg ki prapti hai.

857 I like you,

I like you,

I like you,

I like you,

very much,

I really like you,

Kyunki...........

Gita mein likha hai-

Paap se nafrat karo paapi se nahi.

858 I met 7 angels & they wanted to meet an intelligent person,

I gave them UR Address.....

Dekha, unko kaisa Ullu banaayaa!!

859 Best gift: Zindagi

Best ehsaas: Khushi

Best feeling: Pyaar

Best relation: Dosti

Best Passion: Hum

Best Friend: Tum

860 Bhoot ka beta apni maa se bola,

Maa, main kitnaa daraawanaa hun..?

Maa boli- Beta tu to fir bhi theek hai,

unko dekh jo yeh sms padh rahe hain.

861 Kal dekho bhool na jaana,

subha jaldi uth jaana,

taaze paani se nahaana,

fir humaare ghar aana,

aur zor se aawaaz lagaana,

JAI SHANI DEV......

862 Fiza mein mehkti shaam ho tum,

pyaar mein chalaktaa jaam ho tum,

tumhein dil mein chupaaye firte hain,

ae dost meri zindagi ka doosra naam ho tum.

863 Frog to santa: Kya sardaar ka dimaag hota hai?

Santa: Haan hota hai.

Frog: Nahi hota.

and the frog jumps in the water.

Santa: Isme suicide karne ki kya baat hai,

i was joking......

864 Fursat kise hai roothne-manaane ki,

nigaahein badal gayi apne aur begaano ki,

aap na todna haath dosti ka,

warna tamanna na rahegi dost banaane ki..

865 Gabbar: Arre o sambha.. yeh sms padhne waalaa

insaan hai ki langoor..?

Sambha: Sardaar agar reply kiya to insaan..

nahi kiya to langoor.

Abhi pataa chal jaayega.

866 Galat nazar se dekhoge

to har jagah kharaabi lagegi

aur sahi nazar se dekhoge

to har sunder ladki tumhaari bhabhi lagegi.

tumhaaraa bhai.

867 Ur eyes pathaaka, ur lips rocket,

ur ears chakri, ur baatein fuljhari,

ur style anaar, ur personality bomb..

Tu bhaag ja, i'm coming with candle!!

868 Unko khabar hai mere toote armaano ki,

aaj zaroorat padegi kaanch ke paimaano ki,

khaali na hone dena jaam yaaro,

yaad aa jaayegi warna fir se guzre zamaano ki.

869 D se Dil

D se Dosti

D se Dushmani

D se Dard

D se Deewangi

D se Dillagi

Par

D se Dooori itni na ho jaaye ki

D se Dum nikal jaaye

Samjhe

D se Dear

870 Close ur eyes & imagine.

Chaand ka bed, taaron ki razaai,

phulon ka takiya aur

pariyon ke sapne..

Nice na..

Now come back to earth and

sleep on your own KHATIYA

Good Night!

871 D - Dastak bhi na de

O - Or apna bana le

S - Sanso mein base jo

T - Takdeer jo sawaare

I - Is rishtey ko hi kehte hain DOSTI

872 College mein school ki yaad aai,

jawaani mein bachpan ki yaad aai,

kaanto ko chua to phool ki yaad aai,

tanha mehsoos kiya to dost teri yaad aai.

873 New punishment for mobile owners

missed call karne ke liye kaala paani,

sms karne ke liye faansi,

call karne ke liye umar-quaid

But u need not worry,

Kanjoos ko to ek lakh ka inaam hai.

874 Hansa: AUTOMATICALLY matlab?

Praful: Jab auto mein baith kar koi ladki ganji ho jaaye

to usko kehte hain,

AUTO-MEIN-TAKLI!!!

875 Happy Holi

because Kabirji ne kaha hai,

kal kare so aaj kar,

aaj kare so ab,

network fail ho jaayega,

fir tu wish karega kab.

876 Aye saala abhi abhi....

hua yakin

padhaai mere bas ki nahi

kitaab ko main nigal gayaa

padhte-padhte pighal gaya

hui subha main kho gaya

paper mein so gayaa...

rubaroooo....

877 Aapki yaad mein maine kalam uthaai,

liya kaagaz aur aapki tasveer banaai,

socha tha dil se lagaa ke rakhoonga use,

par woh to bachchon ko daraane ke kaam aai.

878 _____ lady market mein

_____ lene gayi.

_____ lekar uski

_____ gir gayi,

usko ek _____ mila

usne uski _____ uthaai aur

lady ko di.

Only one word fits all blanks.

Test ur brain.

879 Lalooji ek mahina bush se

english ki training le kar aaye.

Ek din ek phone aaya to lalooji bole:

"Who iz ispeaking?"

Jawaab aaya:

"Hum sasoora BUSHWAA..!!"

880 Har rishta mila viraasat mein,

fir dosti kyon alag se banaai hai,

kyonki baaki rishte banaaye khuda ne,

aur dosti khud khudaa ki parchaai hai..

881 Har subha aapki muskuraati rahe,

har shaam aapki gungunaati rahe,

aap jise bhi mile is tarah se mile,

ki har milne waale ko aapki yaad aati rahe.

882 Zulfo ko failaa kar

jab koi mehbooba kabr par roti hai

tab mehsoos hota hai ki.....

zaalim maut bhi kitni haseen hoti hai.

883 Pyaar karo, pyaar ki koi hadh nahi hoti,

do dilo ke beech sarhad nahi hoti,

dilruba ko to sabhi chaahte hain,

bewafa ko chaahne ki kismat sabki nahi hoti.

884 Doston ke bina zindagi fizool hai,

par dosti ke bhi apne usool hai,

kehte hain milti hai dosti mein bhi taklifein,

par aap ho dost to sab kabool hai.

885 Love letter from a Biscuit Seller:

Dear Parle-G, today is a GOODDAY..

You have CRACK-JACKED my LITTLE HEART.

Now i m in a 50-50 position.

Please don't play HIDE n SEEK.

MARIE me.

886 Love is not what you get from someone,

it's what u want to give to someone,

you don't find it by seeking it,

you find it when u give it.

887 To be happy with a man,

u must understand him a lot n

love him to a certain extent.

But 2 be happy with a woman

u must love her a lot n

try NOT to understand her at all.

888 Friendship is like a tree,

it demands attention and care in the beginning,

but once it blossoms,

it provides u shade in every situation of life.

889 Care is the main ingredient that keeps true friendship alive,

despite separation, distance and time.

Since I can't see u,

let my care be with u.....

890 Teacher to student: A=B, B=C so A=C,

Now tell me an example just like that

Student: I love u, u love ur daughter,

so I love ur daughter.

891 Teacher: Please pay a little attention.

Student: I am paying as little as I can, sir.

892 wxy wxy wxy

wxy wxy wxy

wxy wxy

nahi samajh aaya..?

ulta karke dekho.

Jab seedha nahi samajh aaya to ulta kya khaak samajh aayega.

893 Have you ever seen a monkey wrapped in polythene?

NO???????????

OK then see ur "IDENTITY CARD".

894 Hey listen.. Today she was asking me ur details !

I gave her ur cell no..

She'll be visiting U soon,

Her name is

"SMILE"

I think she came!!

895 Jab-jab unse milne ki umeed nazar aai,

mere pairon mein zanjeer nazar aai,

gir pade aansu aankho se,

har aansu mein teri tasveer nazar aai.

896 Jack n Jill:

Jekwaa n Jilwaa..gaye upar hilwaa..pania bharan ke vaaste

jekwaa gir gawaa..ooka khopdi phoot gawa

aur jilwaa aawat ludkan poora raaste.

897 The importance of a dear friend in our lives

is like the importance of our Heartbeats!

Though they r not visible,

they silently lend us a gift called

LIFE!!

898 H_NDU MUSL_M S_KH CHR_ST_AN S_NDH PUNJAB_ ..

see how we lose our identity when we forget "I" of INDIAN..

899 Happy Holi to you,

celebrate with crackers and diyaas and

and get drunk just like i am now!

Merry Christmas once again.

Take care Happy Birthday.

900 What is the secret of success..?

I found the answer in my own room.

The fan said BE COOL.

The roof said AIM HIGH.

The window said TAKE PAINS.

The clock said EVERY MINUTE IS PRECIOUS.

The mirror said REFLECT BEFORE U ACT.

The calendar said BE UPTO DATE.

The door said PUSH.

The lamp said MAKE THE LIGHT OF UR FUTURE.

901 In INDIA a survey was done on how many girls wanted to kiss me.....

5% said YES

2% said NO

&

93% said

WOW! AGAIN!..

902 A : u r active

B : u r best

C : u r cute

D : u r my dear

E : u r excellent

F : u r always first

G : u r great

Sorry Z tak jhooth bolne ke liye time lagega..

903 Kisi na kisi per kisi ko aitbaar ho jaata hai,

ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jaata hai,

sirf khoobiyon se nahi hoti mohabbat sadaa,

kamiyon se bhi aksar pyaar ho jaata hai.

904 Dil armaano se full hai,

zindagi thodi doubtful hai,

tum jaiso se dosti hai,

tabhi to life wonderful hai!!

905 Dhirubhai calling from heaven..

Beta mukesh apna reliance INDIA moblie kaisa chal raha hai..?

Mukesh: Papa, kuch sunaai nahi de rahaa hai,

aap mere Idea waale number per call karo.

906 We are like tea bags, whose true strength

comes out when put in hot water.

So when problems upset you,

just stop and think that

you must be GOD's favorite cup of tea.

907 Santa singh got an invitation to party

which said

BROWN TIE ONLY

when he went to the party

he was surprised to find that

others were wearing pants and shirts also..!!

908 Santa was driving a car zigzag and rashly.

Traffic cop caought him.

Santa: Sir, I am learning driving.

Cop: Without instructor?

Santa: It's a correspondence course.

909 Sardaar gives dictation test for the students.

Last bench student says that we are unable to hear,

so the sardaar replies,

ok i'll write on the board.

910 Santa proposed a girl.......

Girl: I am one year elder to u.

Santa: Oye, no problem sohniye, I will marry u next year.

911 Santa went to a museum, there he broke a statue.

Officer: You have broken a 5000 year old statue.

Santa: Thank GOD! I thought it's new.

912 Santa got a new job:

1st day he worked till evening.

Boss was happy and asked what u did till evening?

Santa: Keyboard alphabets were not in right order,

i made it correct.....

913 Sex is a game,

guy play it 'n gal get the blame,,,

1 ride of pleasure, 9 month of pain then

in the hospital CHOTU needs a name.

914 Agar hum-se gussa ho to,

taj mahal ko fodo,

chaar-minaar ko todo,

qutab minar ko modo,

titanic ko fevicol se jodo,

magar humein sms karna na chodo.

915 Agar zindagi jeeni hai maze mein,

to nafrat se bhi mohabbat karna seekh.

916 Population control slogan in Bihar:

hum do, humaare do,

unke baad jitne bhi ho,

sabko delhi bhej do.....

917 Principal: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya to fine dena hoga.

1st time: 100 Rs.

2nd time: 200 Rs.

3rd time: 300 Rs.

Munna bhai interrupts n says:

ae maamu, monthly paas kitne mein hai..?

918 Pujaari ko loose motions lag gaye,

Dr. ke paas dawaa lene gayaa.

Dr. ne dawaa di to pujaari ne poocha,

parhez kya karoon?????

Dr. bola, "Bas SHANKH zor se mat bajaanaa."

919 Purushottam shri Ramchandraji ko lanka safar ke liye

500 bandaro ki zaroorat hai.

499 pahoonch chuke hai.

sms milte hi turant niklo.

JAI SHRI RAM!

920 Please send ur bio data 2 hutch.

You will get a good package.

Plus a chance to come on tv.

Apply soon.

Bcoz hutch ka kutta job per nahi aa rahaa,

nayaa chaahiye..

921 If doctors start making films

titles wud be:

kabhi funsi..kabhi jakham

hum blood de chuke sanam

maine mbbs kyon kiya

ab tumhaare hawaale operation saathiyon

humaara stethoscope aapke paas hai

mujhe kuch kaatna hai

kaho na bukhaar hai

appendix mil gaya

kal patient ho na ho.

922 If people say u r Crazy, be patient.

If they say u r a Monkey, relax.

If they say u r Stupid, be cool.

But if they say u r smart,

thappad maar saale ko,

mazaak ki bhi koi hadh hoti hai.

923 In a marriage Daler Mehndi to sardaar: Bhai, kinni der gaawaaan?????

Santa: O gaa de ik adhaa,

baaki te fer sharaabian ne

GENERATOR di awaaz te hi nachchi jaanaa hai.

924 In an art gallery

couple sees picture of a girl

with her body covered by leaves.

Husband keeps watching.

Wife: Kya PAT-JHAD ka intezaar kar rahe ho..

925 In EnglisH - GooD NighT.,

In DesI - ShubH RatrI.,

In UrdU - ShabbA KhaiR.,

In KannaD - YarA NadI.,

In TelugU - PanadanK opO.,

apuN ka stylE - ChaL LudaK le.

926 In French: Bon Jour,

Spanish: Te Quirdo,

Italian: Teamo,

Yugoslav: Volim Te,

English: Good Night,

PUNJABI: So jaa moyi, kal kam te ni jaana?

927 In our life four things can come any time:

1. Love

2. Friendship

3. Money

4. ????

4. Susu

928 Santa was commiting suicide.

Banta: Ki hoya?

Santa: Yaar, meri biwi bhaag gayi mere dost ke saath.

Banta: To tu doosri shaadi kar le, suicide kyon?

Santa: Oye banteyaa main apne dost ke bina nahi reh sakta.

929 Santa: Aisi ki taisi kab hoti hai?

Banta: Jab loose motion lage ho aur

pajaame ki gaanth hi na khule.

930 Santa ji ki nayi car ke peeche likha tha

"Saawan ko aane do"

Banta ji ne peeche se truck laa kar thok diya.

Truck ke peeche likha tha

"Aaya saawan jhoom kar"

931 Santa rail mein susu karne gayaa,

waapis aane per wife ne poocha,

Aapka pyjaama geela kaise ho gayaa?

Santa: Wahaa likha tha,

shareer ka koi bhi ang baahar na nikaale.

932 Santa talking on cell.

Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho?

Santa: Biwi se.

Banta: Itne pyaar se.

Santa: Tumhaari hai na!

933 Santa to nauker: Ped-podho ko paani daal de.

Nauker: Saabji, baahar to baarish ho rahi hai.

Santa: Abey paagal, to chattri le ke daal de!

934 Santa was sitting and thinking hard.

Preetoji: Kya soch rahe ho ji?

Santa: Yeh TV waalo ko kaise pataa chal gayaa?

Preetoji: Kya?

Santa: "Aap dekh rahe hain STAR PLUS."

935 Santa: Yaar, mujhe apni girl friend ko gift dena hai. Kya doon ?

Banta: Gold Ring de de.

Santa: O yaar koi waddi cheez bataa.

Banta: Jaa fir truck ka tyre de de.

936 Keep the lamp of friendship burning

with oil of love coz

sun rises in east and sets in west

but friendship rises in heart and

never sets even after death..

937 Short story.....

Two friends.....

See and Saw.....

One day see saw sea and

saw didn't see sea.

See saw sea and jumped in sea.

Saw didn't see sea but jumped in sea.

See saw saw in sea and

saw saw see in sea.

See saw both saw sea and

both saw and see were happy to see sea.

The End.....

938 Small things in life hurt a lot,

like you can sit on mountain but

not on a PIN!

939 Smiles are the birds which fly from face to face

May ur lips give them the best nest

so they can live there FOREVER.

KEEP SMILING

940 Everybody wants.. someone special,

someone nice, someone thoughtful,

someone honest, someone cute,

someone perfect, someone attractive,

but why always me yaar.....!!

941 Easiest ways to die:

1. Have a cigar daily, u'll die 10 yrs. early.

2. Have drinks daily, u'll die 30 yrs. early.

3. Love someone truly, u'll die daily..

942 Everyone wants to be the sun of your life

that lights up your life

but being a friend, i'd rather be your moon,

so i could shine during your darkest hours

when your sun is not around you.

943 Doctors and nurses are waiting for an operation of a mental.

But operation not yet started..

Becoz mental patient busy in reading sms.

Jaldi padho.

944 Do you want a Free Recharge card number?

Go down..

|||||||||||||

|||||||||||||

Scratch here with a blade.

945 Ever since I met u,

i learnt a lot of things from u,

i didn't understand how and why?

then today i heard the proverb,

"Wise people learn more from FOOLS."

946 Muskaan aapke honto se kahi jaaye na,

aansoo aapki palko pe kabhi aaye na,

pura ho aapko har khwaab,

jo pura na ho woh khwaab kabhi aaye na.

947 Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola Shah Jahaan ka pota..

Taj Mahal ko dekh kar bola Shah Jahaan ka pota..

Aaj humaaraa bhi bank balance hota agar dada deewana na hota!

948 Tanhaai mein muskuraana ISHQ hai,

ek baat ko sabse chupaana ISHQ hai,

yun to neend nahi raat bhar,

magar sote-sote jaag jaana ISHQ hai.

949 Tann mein masti mann mein umang,

chalo aakaash mein daale rang,

ho jaaye sab sang sang,

aur udaaye rang.

Wish you a very Happy Holi.

950 Taraste hue teri girlfriend ke haathon ne,

teri kalaai ko chua hai.....

jaise uski dil ki dhadkan pooch rahi ho,

"Bhaiyaa, time kya hua hai!!

951 Tawe par padaa popcorn uchaltaa kyon hai..

?

???

khud baith ke dekho, pataa chal jaayega.....

952 Teacher asks a kid: What are the two latest versions of Java..?

Kid says: Marjava and Mitjava.

953 Teacher: Banta, make a sentence

in which 1 word is repeated 4 times.

Banta: If Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara,

she becomes Lara Lara.

O Bolo Tara Rara!!

954 Teacher: Beta, bataao to "TAMSO MAA JYOTIR GAMAYA" shlok ka kya arth hai?

Student: Tum so jaao maa, main JYOTI ke paas jaa rahaaa hun....

955 Teacher to class: A for .. ?

Class: Apple.

Teacher: Zor se BOLO

Class: JAI MATA DI.

956 Tera blood group kya hai, urgently call karke bataa.

Mere dost ke kutte ka accident ho gayaa hai,

Dr. ne kahaa hai ki kisi aawaara kutte ka khoon chaahiye.

957 Haryanvi Jaat riding a bicycle hits a girl.

Girl: Ghanti nahin maari jaati kya?

Jaat: Re Chori, baawli hai ke?

Poori cycle maar di.. ib ghanti alag se maaru ke???

958 Ek Chinti aur Haathi ko Prem ho gaya..

Chinti ke Maa-Baap ne Shaadi se inkar kar diya..

Reason poocha to kaha:

Ladke ke daant Baahar hai!!

959 Ek family mein 20 member & 20 roti hain.

Half roti to every child,

2 to every lady,

and 3 to every man.

Family mein kitne bachche, ladies & aadmi hain..?

960 Din mein chen nahi,

raat ko neend nahi,

jee na lage kahi,

Khuda, kya yahi pyaar hai?

Khuda: Nahi vats, manager rank se neeche sabka yahi haal hai.

961 Ek kabutar itna uda

itna uda

itna uda

itna uda

itna uda

itna uda

bahut uda

bahut upar gaya

itna uda

itna uda

udta hi gaya

udta gaya

BAS AB NAHI DIKH RAHA

ab so jaao kal dhundenge..

GOOD NIGHT

962 Ek makhi ek ganje ke sir per baith gayi

to second makhi ne kaha: achcha house khareeda hai.

First makhi ne kaha: abhi toh bas plot hi khareeda hai.

963 Ek newspaper mein chapaa ki 50% sardaar bewakoof hote hain.

Is par sardaaron ne khoob halla machaaya.

Fir chaapaa: 50% sardaar samajhdaar hote hain.

Tab kahin jaakar shaant hue.

964 Ek msg roz, keep d friends close,

ek din mein paanch, dosti per na aaye aanch,

ek din mein bees, tu pehle ek to bhej battmeez.

965 Life before marriage is Airtel - u can Express Urself.

After marriage is Reliance - Always get in Touch.

After honeymoon is Hutch - Wherever u Go ur partner follows

But after 10 yrs. life is BSNL - Subscriber is not reachable.

966 Last night, thinking of u one tear rolled out.

I asked, why are u out..?

Tear said, “There is someone so beautiful in ur eyes,

there is no place for me.”

967 Laugh like u hv never cried,

play like u hv never lost,

love like u hv never been hurt,

& live like u hv no tomorrow.

968 Let me test your maths

(u can read only one time, OK)

2+7

+9

-5

+4

+8

-2

+5

-4

+8

-7

+2

Q: How many times you pressed the button..?

969 Someone asked what makes people happy?

Some said wealth and some said fame.

I was thinking abt this when my cell beeped

& ur sms came.

I smiled and said, "This makes me HAPPY..."

970 Sometimes love is for a moment and

sometimes love is for a lietime.

But sometimes a moment with the one u love

is enough to spend a lifetime.

971 Sometimes the road travelled

turns out to be more beautiful

than the destination reached.

Enjoy leading ur life

no matter what it turns out to be..

972 Bhagwaan teri umar lambi kare!

Bhagwaan teri shaadi jaldi kara de!

Bhagwaan tujhe khush rakhe!

Bhagwaan tujhe barkat de!

Yaad ho gayaa??

TO chal KATORA uthaa aur shuru ho jaa!!!!!!

973 Bhikhaari: Saaheb, Ek rupeyaa de do.

Saaheb: Kal aanaa.

Bhikhaari: Saalaa is kal kal ke chakkar mein

is colony mein mere laakhon rupaye fase hue hain..!!

974 Where mangoes??

If ur answer is - on a tree or in a fruit shop then

u r wrong

because MANgoes wherever WOMANgoes..!!

975 Who said English is easy? Fill in the following :

1. ..... I don't have a BRAIN.

2. ..... I don't have SENSE.

3. ..... I am STUPID.

976 Why does a man fall in love..?

Lack of Experience.

Why does he break off love..?

Lack of Patience.

Then why does he want to fall in love again..?

Lack of Memory.

977 Wife: What should I get for u from London..?

Husband: A british girl..!!

She left quietly. On her return:

Husband: My gift..?

Wife: Honey, wait for nine months..!

978 Wife: Honey, what r u looking for?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: Y hv U been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?

Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.

979 Year 1924..

March..

wednesday..

23rd..

evening..

6 O'clock..

32 mins..

53.52 secs..

Nothing happened.

U carry on ur work.

980 World's most beautiful sentence:

......But, I love you.

World's most selfish/ painful sentence:

I love you, but......

981 How to grow Friendship?

Pick a good heart,

Plant in pot of trust,

Water with good thoughts,

Add some emotion & faith,

Remove misunderstanding n nourish!

982 I am sending you a message through tortoise.

Tortoise: Sorry, I am late.

I was sent to wish you Good Night..

but i walked too slow.. so Good Morning..!

983 Two sardaars were talking.

1st: Is Harbhajan Singh, the cricketer, male or female?

2nd: Female.

1st: How?

2nd: Just now the commentator told a wonderful delivery by him.

984 Tutor: Write ur father's name in english.

Santa wrote "Beautiful Red Underwear"

Tutor saw and asked - Are u mad or what?????

Santa: No, his name is Sunder Lal Chadda.

985 When you are watching,

when you are playing,

when you are sad,

when you are glad,

when you are mad,

when you are upset,

when you have problems,

just call me,

coz my incoming is FREE!

986 Your brain will be refreshed in the next Five seconds...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

LOADING.........

ERROR: No brain detected.

987 Aaj ke baad na peeyenge sharaab

humne kasam khaai hai,

aur isi khushi mein

ek peti aur mangwaai hai.

988 Aaj subha unki gali se hum nikle,

ajeeb itefaq tha,

phool to fenka unhone,

lekin...........

GAMLAA bhi saath tha!

989 Aaj maine apne mobile ko maar maar kar kahaa-

“Kya re..? Tune mere Dost ko sms nahi bheja...?”

Sorry bol, bol sorry, bol.

Sorry bol rahaa hai!!

990 Na le jaao rishi mujhe un viraano mein,

jahaan mein dojakh aur bhi hain,

na dilaao fir se unki yaad,

jahaan mein sitamgar aur bhi hain.

991 Namaskaar.....

Aaj ki taazaa khabar.....

Newspaper mein hai!!

So plz carry on.

GOOD MORNING.

992 Name the animal which is exactly like dog but

walks on three legs?

Langdaa kutta.

993 Oh sms! jaake meri dost ko " I MISS U " kehna.

"SAVE" kare to "shukriya" kehna.

"DELETE" kare to "bevafa" kehna.

Aur agar "naa padhe" to us se "1 rupyaa" le lena!

994 One day to go

Holi aane mein

aur aapke

nahaane mein

HAPPY BATH ANNIVERSARY

HAPPY HOLI TOO!

995 Sharaab ek aisi beemaari hai jo poore samaaj ko pee jaati hai.

Aao ise milkar khatam karein,

ek bottle tum khatam karo,

ek bottle hum khatam karein.

996 Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika Sherawat

Dono ne kapdo ko tyaag diya..

Ek ne desh ke liye,

aur ek ne deshwaasiyon ke liye..

997 Skin ke liye mausmi ka juice,

baalon ke liye santre ka juice,

sehat ke liye anaar ka juice,

khush rehne ke liye SMS kiya kar kanjoos.

998 SMS har pal karu to sharaarat hogi,

har din karu to pareshaani hogi,

kabhi bhi nahi karu to kanjoosi hogi,

par dil se karu to shaayad aapko khushi hogi.

999 Good Time, Bad Time,

Day Time, Night Time,

Work Time, Off Time,

Happy Time, Sad Time,

Sleep Time, Kisi bhi Time,

Apun ka sms aa sakta hai.

1000 Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes.

He got irritated..

drank poison and said

Now bite, u'll die bastards..

1001 Santa apni girlfriend ko i love u kehta hai,

aur gir jaata hai.

Gf: Yeh kya kar rahe ho..?

Santa: I am falling in love..

1002 Ram-leela se hanumaan tha fraar,

role ke liye fit kiya ek Sardaar,

tha bahut hi kamaal,

ped se chalaang lagaa kar bola..

Jo bole so nihaal.....

Sita Mata, Sat Shri Akaal!!

1003 Kitabon ke panne palat ke sochte hai,

yu palat jaae zindagi to kya baat hai..

tamanna jo poori ho khawaabo mein,

haqiqat ban jaaye to kya baat hai..

kuch log matlab ke liye dhoondte hai mujhe,

bin matlab koi aaye to kya baat hai..

katal kar ke to sab le jaayenge dil mera,

koi lubha ke le jaaye to kya baat hai..

jo shareefon ki sharaafat mein na ho baat,

ek sharaabi keh jaaye to kya baat hai..

zindagi rehne tak to khushi doonga sabko,

kisiko meri maut pe khushi mil jaaye to kya baat hai..

1004 Care for the one who shares with you,

Share with the one who knows you,

Know the one who misses you,

Miss the one who Well Wishes for you.

1005 While creating wives,

God promised man that Good, Quiet and Obeying Wives

will be found in all the corners of the world &

then he created an oval earth..

1006 When God helps u in trouble,

u believe in His ability.

When He doesn't help u don't mistake him because

those times He believes in your ability.

1007 A prayer can go where i can't go

through prayers i can be with u

without being there

i may be miles away

but my prayers

will always be with u.

1008 Always remember in life,

there are people better than you;

there are people worse than you but

there will never be one

Who is You!

1009 Mr. Bean called hospital to enquire abt his pregnant wife

but call went to cricket stadium.

Bean: What's the condition?

Reply: 7 are already out,

3 still to come &

first one was Duck.

1010 Colorful things happen

in colorful ways

to colorful people

wid a colorful heart.

i wish each coming day adds

more color to ur colorful life..

1011 News mili hai ki chaand per paani mil gaya hai.

Soda, daroo, glass lekar jaldi se pahuncho.

Holi wahi par manaayenge.

Happy Holi..

1012 If we desire to blossom like a rose in the garden,

we must learn the art of adjusting with the thorns..

1013 Mandir ki ghanti, aarti ki thaali,

nadi ke kinaare suraj ki laali,

zindagi mein aaye khushiyon ki bahaar,

aapko mubaarak ho holi ka tyohaar.

Happy Holi..

1014 Aaj mubaarak, kal mubaarak,

holi ka har pal mubaarak,

rang birangi holi mein humaara bhi ek rang mubaarak.

Happy Holi..

1015 Red 4 prosperity, blue 4 sensitivity,

orange 4 progress, pink 4 friendship,

may u be blessed with all shades of Holi.

Happy Holi..

1016 Sapno ki duniya aur apno ka pyaar,

gaalo pe gulaal aur pichkaari ki bouchaar,

sukh samridhi aur safalta ka saath,

mubaarak ho aapko rango ka tyohaar.

Happy Holi..

1017 Khushion ki mehak, rango ki bahar,

holi ka tyohaar aane ko tyaar,

thodi si masti, thoda sa pyaar,

rango se bhara rahe aapka sansaar.

Happy Holi..

1018 May God paint the canvas of ur life

with the most beautiful colors and

sprinkle peace love, success n joy

at every step of ur life.

Happy Holi..

1019 Kyon yaad aati hai tumhaari,

kyun palke bheeg jaati hai humaari,

jahaan-jahaan bhi gire humaare aansoo,

kyun tasveer ban jaati hai tumhaari..

1020 It's just meaningless to expect

ur friend to b of ur kind..

because you can't hold

one's right hand in ur right hand to walk together..

1021 Ek to aap sharmaate bahut ho,

agar baat kare koi to itraate bahut ho,

dil chaahta hai ki koi sms na karu per,

suna hai sms padne ke baad muskuraate bahut ho..

1022 Everyone has a best friend

during each stage of life BUT

only lucky ones have the same friend

in all stages of life..

1023 1 msg for u

10% hi

20% hello

30% i miss u

40% how r u

50% hope u r fine

60% keep smiling

70% take care

80% god bless u

90% b happy

100% i like ur friendship..

1024 Auspicious Red, Glorious Gold,

Soothing silver, pretty purple,

blissfull blue, forever green.

Wishing u n ur family a colorful holi..

1025 A scientist cannot be a president but Kalam did it.

A conductor cannot be a superstar but Rajini did it.

A monkey cannot operate mobile, but u mere lal..

mind blowing..u did it..

1026 Charlie Chaplin's 3 heart touching statements:

1. Nothing is permanent in this world..Not even our problems.

2. I like walking in the rain because nobody can see my tears.

3. The most wasted day in life is the day, in which we have not laughed.

1027 We all are born in this world for some special purpose..

None of us are waste..

So, don't be a prisoner of past but

be an architect of your future..

1028 If you get less messages from me,

don't think that I don't think,

that i didn't care for you but

i am searching for the best message

for a best person like you..

1029 I requested God let my friend be happy and healthy forever.

God said 4 days only.

I said ok: spring, summer, autumn and winter day.

God: No only 3 days.

I: Ok, yesterday, today n tomorrow.

God: No only 2 days.

I: Ok, brightday and night.

God: No only 1 day

I: Ok, Everyday.

God laughed and said OK..

1030 SnowPoint: Doctor, which soap you use..??

Santa: Gopal soap, Gopal paste, Gopal brush..

SnowPoint: Doctor, is Gopal an International Company..??

Santa: No, Gopal is my room-mate.

1031 I called u 5 times but u were busy..

so pls come outside i am standing outside your home..

my name is moon, i just come to say Good Night..

Have a nice sleep.

1032 Our lives are all about the choices we make and

the consequence of those choices.

It is a simple paradigm applies to all.

To get, u must first give..

1033 Santa: Yaar uth bhookamp aa rahaa hai..saara ghar hil raha hai.

Banta: Soja-soja ghar girega to makaan maalik ka..hum to kiraayedaar hain..

1034 Diwali tyohaar ke paawan hafte mein

hum aapki zindagi mein sukh, samridhi aur khushaali

ki praarthana karte hain.

Deepawali ke tyohaar ki haardik badhaai..

1035 May this new year bring many opportunities to your way,

may all your dreams turn into reality and

all your efforts into great achievements.

Happy New Year..

1036 May God paint the canvas of your life

with the most beautiful colors and

sprinkle over it peace, prosperity, luck, success and happiness at every step.

Wishing you a very happy and prosperous new year..

1037 Cello the pen of India

Lux the soap of India

Amul the taste of India

You the waste of India

<sender's name> the star of India..

1038 May divine light of diwali spread into your

life lots of peace, prosperity, happiness and good health.

Wishing you a very Happy Diwali..

1039 Really you are marvellous, affectionate, noble, naughty,

unique, natural, nice, intelligent.

In short Mannunni.

1040 Any idea about this number:

9876543210

oorkunille..??

marannu alle..??

poyi LKG yil irikk..!

It's 0 to 9 in descending order..

1041 X'mas: A silent night, a star above,

a blessed gift of hope and love.

On this christmas, may God shower his blessings upon you.

1042 Phool ki shuruwaat kali se hoti hai,

zindagi ki shuruwaat pyaar se,

pyaar ki shuruwaat apno se

aur apno ki shuruwaat AAP Se..

1043 May your life in mathematical form,

Joys is added,

happiness is multiplied,

sorrow is subtracted.

1044 3 Nice Stories:

1. Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.

On the day of prayer all people gathered and

only one boy came with an umbrella.

That's Faith..

2. When you throw a baby in the air,

the baby laughs because he/she knows you will catch him/her.

That's Trust..

3. Every night we go to bed,

we have no assurance that we will wake up the next morning but

still we have plans for tomorrow.

That's Hope..

Celebrate this new year with Faith, Trust and Hope.

1045 May the spirit of X'mas bring you peace.

The gladness of X'mas give you hope.

The warmth of X'mas grant you love.

That's all i wish for You this X'mas.

1046 My wishes for you,

Great Start 4 Jan,

Love 4 Feb,

Peace 4 March,

No worries 4 April,

Fun 4 May,

Joy 4 June to Nov,

Happiness 4 Dec.

Have a lucky and wonderfull year ahead.

1047 I have already told santa what i want this Xmas -

a gud friend..

so if a big fat man comes and tries to wrap you up,

plz co-operate..

1048 One day God asked me,

for how long do you need this lovely person along with you?

I just dropped a single drop of water into an ocean n told

"until You find this"

1049 Lamha-lamha waqt guzar jaaega,

thodi der baad naya varsh aayega,

advance mein happy new year bol doon warna,

baazi koi aur maar le jaayega.

1050 Happy New Year

+New Aim

+New achievement

+New Dream

+New Idea

+New Thinking

+New Ambition

=Newlife+Success

1051 May God Love you so much that

He turns His ear to you constantly and

always answer your request.

May be not with a Yes, but always with the Best!!

1052 #include<Blessings>

#include<Best Wishes>

Enjoy main()

{

clrscr();

cout<<"Wishing You a Happy Married Life";

getch();

}

1053 Who said english is easy Fill these blanks with yes/no:

1. ____, i don't have a brain.

2. ____, i'm stupid.

3. ____, i'm not human, i'm donkey.

SmIlE pLz

1054 Santa ko sapne me kisi ne goli maar di!!

2nd day santa ne apna bank account close karwa diya kyonki

bank mein likha tha - hum aapke sapno ko hakikat mein badal denge.

1055 One day sunday went to monday 2 see tuesday and ask

wednesday whether

thursay has told friday that saturday is diwali..

Happy Diwali..

1056 Ravan ko court laya gaya aur kaha gita pe haath rakho.

Ravan chillaya, Sita pe haath rakha to itna bawaal ho gaya

ab gita pe nahi rakhoonga.

1057 Relationship is silent gift, more old more strong,

more deep more clear, more close more warm,

less words more understanding.

Preserve it forever..

1058 Life sometimes takes unknown turn,

don't b afraid 2 travel it.

Someday that turn will take u to

untouched heights on top of the world.

1059 Every Lady hopes that

her daughter will marry a better man than she did and

is convinced that

her son will never find a wife as good as his father did..

1060 Sunday means

Sote raho

Utho mat

Nahao nahi

Dekhte raho tv

Aaram karo aur

Yaad Karo Humko

1061 May this Diwali all your wishes come true,

it spreads the divine light of God into ur life with new hopes,

joy and opportunities!

Have a Prosperous Diwali..

1062 Sacrifice is greater than Love,

Character is greater than Beauty,

Humanity is greater than Wealth

but nothing is greater than Good Relations..

1063 Kadam-Kadam preet ki bahaar mile,

tamaam umar laxmi ka pyaar mile,

khilti rahe tamanaae phulon ki tarah,

Khuda kare har khushi aapko bar-bar mile..

1064 Ek dost ek dost ke liye kya hota hai,

shaayad pyaar se badhkar hota hai,

tabhi to radha roti thi krishan ke liye,

lekin krishan rote the sudama ke liye..

1065 Sensational thought: If everyone in happy with you,

surely you have made a lot of compromises in your life.

1066 B-egin your day with

L-ove in ur heart

E-xpect blessings

S-hare goodness

S-hine like the sun

I-nspire someone

N-ever forget that

G-od is with you all the time

1067 Is-se pehle ki diwali ki shaam aa jaaye,

badhaayion ka silsila aam ho jaaye,

bheed mein shaamil humaara bhi naam ho jaaye,

kyun na abhi se diwali ka salaam ho jaaye.

1068 It has been rightly said

measure your words and control your actions,

for it takes a lifetime to build a relation and

just a moment to destroy it.

1069 What is friendship?

It is a ship loaded with love, care and share,

crossing the sea of heart, having no wheels of sorry and thanks..

1070 Lakshmi ka saath ho,

Saraswati ka haath ho,

Ganesh ka niwas ho aur Maa Durga ke aashirwaad se

aapke jeewan mein prakash hi prakash ho.

Happy Diwali..

1071 Have you ever thought..

What a green field feels seeing rainy clouds!

What a child feels looking at its mother just after birth!

What a sister feels when her brother says sorry for his mistakes!

What a girlfriend feels when her boyfriend in a winter night

walk holding her hand and rub them to give them warmth!

What a father feels when his child hugs him and say I love u Dad!

What a friend feels when after a huge fight a message come i need u yaar!

Words can't define but it's only love which connects..

1072 Umma..umma..uma..umma..umma..

Ummmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaa..ummaa..umma..

How do u feel?

This is the cry of a muslim girl

when her Mother died.

1073 One day in ur life a smart girl will come,

who will love u a lot..

she will touch u with love and

give u many Good Dreams..

And will say..

I love u Daddy..!

1074 Santa was experimenting with a cockroach.

He cut one of his legs and told it to walk.

The cockroach began moving slowly.

He continued till all legs were cut.

Then he told it to walk, but it didn't move.

So he wrote the inference:

If all the legs of a cockroach were cut,

it loses it's ability to hear.

1075 Age is an end at any time.

Love is an end at marriage.

Life is an end at death.

But lovable friendship is always going on.

Never ending.

1076 As i look back my life,

i remember tears i cried,

jokes i laughed at,

things i lost, but

there is one things i never regret,

it's the day we become friends.

1077 People say it is difficult to get good friends.

Naturally it's true because

best ones like you are already mine..

1078 Exam model by years:

1998: Answer all questions.

2005: Answer any five questions.

2008: Write either A or B.

2015: Only read questions.

2020: Thanks for coming.

1079 Listen to your elder's advice.

Not because they are always right but because

they have more experiences of being wrong.

1081 Joe: We will soon become rich.

Jill: How?

Joe: Tomorrow my mathematics teacher will teach me

how to convert paisa into rupees.

1082 The day has ended. Busy hours are over.

Its time to sleep. Your dreams are waiting.

The night waits in silence. Sleep Well.

1083 Human body can bear only upto 45 del (unit) of pain.

But at the time of giving birth

a woman feels upto 57 del of pain.

This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at a time.

Love your Mother till the end of your life.

1084 The taste of water can be enjoyed

only when we are thirsty.

Same way, the love of true persons will be known

when we are alone.

1085 Easy way to kill an ant:

Mix chilli powder with sugar and give it.

After eating that it will search for water.

The ant will go in search of water somewhere near a water tank.

When the ant goes near the water tank, push the ant into it.

Now the ant who is fully soaked in water will go to dry near fire.

When it reaches near fire, put a bomb into the fire.

Then you admit the wounded ant in ICU.

Remove the oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill it.

1086 Two batsman, each on 94.

7 runs to win in 3 balls.

Both make unbeaten 100.

How?

1087 Desh bhagton ke balidaan se swatantra hue hain hum.

Koi pooche to shaan se kahenge Bhartiya hain hum.

Happy Independence Day.

1088 Who was the first Indian woman

to fly abroad without passport and visa?

Guess?

Sita with Ravan to Sri Lanka.

1089 Woh mazaa na red label mein, na taj mein,

na poori duniya ke raj mein,

na sur mein, na saaz mein,

na kuber ke khazaane mein,

jo mazaa hai subha uth-kar

fir se so jaane mein.

1090 Life is an echo, all comes back,

the good, the bad, the false, and the true so,

give the world the best you have and

the best will come back to you.

1091 Santa and doctor loves the same girl.

Santa gives her an apple daily.

Girl surprised and asked why.

Santa: An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

1092 Shaitan ne kaha kisi nek insaan ka number do,

apun usko tang karega.

Maine aapka number diya to shaitan bola:

Abey, marwayega kya?

Yeh to Boss ka number hai.

1093 Kehne ko lafz nahi hai koi,

likhne ko message nahi hai koi,

par itna jaante hain apna khayaal rakhiyega

aap jaisa humaare paas dusra nahi hai koi.

1094 Government promised jiske 5 bachche hain oose ghar degi.

Santa ke 3, usne wife se kaha: Padosan ke 2 bhi mere hain,

unko lata hun.

Lane ke baad:

Santa: Apne 3 kaha gaye?

Wife: Jinke the woh le gaye.

1095 Husband to wife: Tum meri zindagi ho aur..

Wife: Aur kya? Tell me aur kya?

Wife shouted tell me aur kya?

Husband: Aur laanat hai aisi zindagi par.

1096 Boy: Yamraj ji, mujhe waqt se pehle kyun utha liya?

Yamraj: Dimag mat chaat, March mein closing hai,

target poora karna hai.

1097 God's love has no limit.

God's grace has no measure.

God's power has no boundaries.

May you and your family

have God's endless blessings forever.

1098 True friends are never forgotten,

they live within our hearts and souls..

forever and always,

dancing on our stage of memories..

1099 Your sms is pace maker of my heart

Your miss call is beat of my heart

Your call is blood circulation of my heart

so keep my heart active..

1100 Miss call kyun maari?

100 me se 99 bewakoof iska jawaab denge aur

ek samajhdaar aage forward karega.

Try on your friends.

1101 When you miss someone, you message them

to let them know that you are thinking of them.

But the truth is you really want them to think of you.

1102 Bina libaas aaye the

hum is jahaan mein,

faqat ik qafan ki khaatir

ye zindagi guzaar di..

1103 Devdas: Babuji ne kaha haveli chod do,

Maa ne kaha paro ko chod do,

ek din aayega jab paro ka bachcha kahega:

"Mamu, zaraa school chod do"!

1104 Greatness of a person

is not measured by his srtength;

it is how he stands tall

every time he gets knocked down.

1105 Think of success and it is within your reach.

Aim for success and you become successful.

Don't just think, Implement.

1106 Mango ki khushbu, water melon ki bahaar,

garmi ka mausam aane ko taiyaar..

thodi si masti, thoda sa pyaar

cotton ke kapde kar lo taiyaar.

Happy Summer Season..

1107 "Laziness is our biggest enemy" - Jawahar Lal Nehru.

"We should love our enemy." - Mahatama Gandhi.

Dasso hun bapu di manniye ya chache di..??

1108 Chithi likhde nu kalam puchan laggi,

tu kehnu dard sunaaun lagga,

koi tainu bhi yaad karda hai,

ke ainwe apna waqt gawaaun lagga.

1109 Care is the sweetest form of love.

When someone says take care

it really means that you will stay

in their heart till it's last beat.

So take care of yourself..

1110 Santa made a call to airpport and asks,

"How long is the journey from Punjab to America?"

Receptionist: One second, Sir.

Santa disconnects the call the says,

"Inhe te peg laaya hoeya ae!"

1111 May be i am not an important person in your life.

But one day when you hear my name you would just smile n say,

"I had a friend in this name."

That's enough for me..

1112 After completing 10+2, baap ne beti se poocha,

"Ab tum kya karna chaahti ho?"

Ladki: BBA

Baap: Ok, per yeh BBA hota kya hai?

Ladki: Boyfriend ki Baahon mein Aish!

1113 Career: Enhance your skills.

A good employee takes effort to do work;

A smart employee uses skill to accomplish his job.

1114 Santa car mein battery lagwaane gaya.

Mechanic ne poocha: Exide ki laga du?

Santa sochne laga, fir bola: Baar-baar kaun aayega,

Dono side ki laga de..

1115 Santa: Dr. main subha 9 baje uth-ta hun to mujhe

saana lene mein taklif hoti hai.

Dr: Beta jaldi utha karo kyonki Saari Oxygen to

Baba Ramdev aur unke chele kheench lete hain..

1116 Santa was filling a slambook.

He didn't knew the meaning of Zodiac sign.

He turned the previous page and

saw that somebody had written Cancer,

so he wrote Gas Problem..

1117 Ek bachcha paida hote hi nurse se bola,

"Light hai kya?"

Nurse bole: No

Bachcha: Oh my God, fir se Bihar mein paida ho gaya..

1118 Agar duniya mein mehnat ki hi Qadar hoti

to Gadha sab se zyaada izzat-daar hota..

1119 Full stop is not end,

because we can write a new sentence after it.

Same in life failure is not the end,

but it can be a real beginning of success.

1120 Dad went to school to get son's report card.

Busy madam: Abhi nahi, aap baad mein aana.

Dad: To fir main kab aaun?

Madam: Mere periods khatam hone ke baad.

1121 Age appears to be best in some things.

Old wood best to burn.

Old books best to read.

Old rice best to eat and

Old friends best to keep..

1122 I am deleting your number from my phone.

As I always send you messages but you never replied.

So good bye forever.

Santa sent this to customer care..

1123 Mouse was going with his kids.

A cat jumped in front of them.

Mouse shouted, "BOW BOW".

Cat runs away.

Mouse: That's the advantage of learning foreign language!

1124 Meri dukh bhari kahani padho.

"ptdj werrbgjh gbhujik jhgf".

mujhe pata tha..

mera dukh koi nahi samajh payega.

1125 Comparison is the best way to judge our progress.

But not with others,

compare your yesterday with your today.

1126 Just a movement is not a life.

But every movement is a turning of your life.

Think slowly, you will get the actual meaning of life.

1127 Funny word combinations

1. Clearly misunderstood

2. Exact estimate

3. Small crowd

4. Act naturally

5. Found missing

6. Fully empty

and

7. HAPPILY MARRIED!!

1128 100 words of an enemy can never give pain

but a true friend's silence can give 1000 of tears.

So, BAK-BAK karte raha karo

tassalli milti hai yaar.

1129 Behosh aadmi ko dekh kar Dr: Yeh mar chuka hai.

Tabhi aadmi bola: Main zinda hun.

Aadmi ki biwi boli: Tum chup raho,

itna bada Dr. kya jhooth bolega.

1130 Why India is not yet developed?

Though population is 100 crore?

Because 7.9 crore are retired,

30 crore in state government jobs,

17 crore in central government jobs

(Both don't work efficiently).

1.1 crore IT professional

(They don't work for India).

25 crore in school,

2 crore under 5 years,

15 crore unemployed,

1.2 crore you can find anytime in hospitals.

Statistics say 79,99,997 people are in jail.

Rest two are you and me.

You are busy with your mobile.

How can i handle India alone..?

1131 Innocent kid: Mummy mujhe sister chaahiye.

Mom: Beta Dad abroad hain, jaise hi woh aayenge

hum baat karenge unse.

Kid: Aap unhe SURPRISE kyon nahi dete?

1132 Sometimes in life we feel so blue,

but someone somewhere is not happy as you.

Somewhere far at the border when a soldier sleeps,

missing his loved ones he silently weeps.

Somewhere a mother painfully sighs because

her new born baby didn't open her eyes.

Somewhere a poor dad silently cries,

when he sees his son begging for a bowl of rice.

Somewhere in an orphanage a little girl is sad,

when she misses her mom and dad.

So at times a reason to smile you may not have any,

say to yourself that you are happier than many.

Because life is beautiful and it's not always blue,

and someone somewhere is not as happy as you.

1133 Never explain yourself to anyone because

the person who likes you doesn't need it and

the person who dislike you wouldn't believe it.

1134 Santa ki beti: Papa kal aapke ghar se ek member kam ho jaaega.

Next day santa ki beti bhaag jaati hai.

Santa: Ladki ne kaam to galat kiya per

thi woh Jyotshi!

1135 Biwian apne pati ko A.G. kyun kehti hain..?

Kyonki Bhartiya biwian sanskaari hoti hain,

sabke saamne 'Abe Gadhe' nahi keh sakti isliye

short form se bulati hain..A.G.!

1136 Always refresh your mind.

Delete your mistakes.

Create your own dream.

Minimise your negative thoughts.

Maximise your target.

Shut down your worries and

Be Happy always..

1137 TV reporter to Santa: Can you tell me

how many jokes are there on you?

Santa: Hardly 2 or max 3,

the rest are all true stories.

1138 Choo le aasmaan zameen ki talaash na kar,

jee le zindagi khushi ki talaash na kar,

taqdeer badal jaaegi apne aap hi ae dost,

muskurana seekh le wajah ki talaash na kar..

1139 It’s a horror story. Read it if you are dare enough.

Once in a rain there was an old man standing

with a book in his hand for sale.

A man came to him and asked for buying.

He sold the book for Rs. 3000/- and said,

“Don’t open last page of the book else

you will face problem".

Man finished all the pages with great fear but

one of his curiosity he opened the last page one day.

He was shocked to see..

MRP: Rs. 30/-

1140 Kisi insaan ki khushi ki wajah bano,

khushi ka hissa nahi aur

kisi bhi insaan ke dukh ka hissa bano,

dukh ki wajah nahi.

1141 Girl to her boyfriend: Can you drive the car with one hand..?

Boyfriend (romantically): Ya sure!

Girl: Taan nak saaf kar le sidla jeha,

kado da vagi jaanda hai.

1142 West Indies ke aadmi ko bana kar God ne kaha:

...

...

Aaila! yeh to jal gaya.

1143 Haathi aur cheenti ki love marriage hui.

Doosre din hi haathi mar gaya.

Cheenti boli: Waah ri mohabbat,

ek din pyaar ke naam kiya aur

saari umar kabr khodne ka kaam diya!

1144 Teacher: Dhritrashtra ke 100 putra the aur

Paandu ke sirf 5, aisa kyun..?

Student: Madam, jinki aankhein hoti hain,

unhe aur bhi kaam hote hain..

1145 We always miss a very special someone in life

only for two reasons:

Either that person was always with you or

you always wanted to be with that person.

1146 Honey means sweet.

Sweet means desire.

Desire means love.

Love means friend.

Friend means You!

1147 Santa: Phone per itni dhimi aawaaz mein

kis-se baat kar rahe ho..?

Banta: Behan hai.

Santa: To fir itni dhimi aawaaz mein kyun..?

Banta: Teri hai.

1148 Girl: Meri skin bahut soft and sensitive hai aur

rang bhi bahut gora hai.

Main sone se pehle kya laga ke soya karoon..?

Doctor: Darwaaze ki Kundi!

1149 Jo jaldi mile woh hai gum.

Jo dair se mile woh hai paisa.

Jo kisi-kisi ko mile woh hai pyaar.

Jo kismat se mile woh hai aap jaisa Dost!

1150 Life mein kabhi humaari dosti ke baare mein

koi doubt ho to Coin uchaalna.

Agar heads aaya to very best friends aur

agar tail aaya to..

coin palat dena yaar!

1151 Prospective husband: Do you have a book called,

"Man, the master of woman"?

Sales girl: The fiction department is

on the other side, Sir.

1152 Ek punjabi ladki shadi karne se pehle pray karti hai:

Rabba, ya te sass changi hove, nahi taa photo tangi hove.

1153 A cute question:

Kid: Mom, kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha..?

Mom: Nahi to.

Kid: To phir paida hone ke baad pehchana kaise..?

1154 Santa underwear lene gaya.

Dukaandaar ne usko Rs. 500 ka underwear dikhaya.

Santa: Roz pehn-ne wala de,

party wear nahi chaahiye.

1155 God to humans:

Tu karta woh hai jo tu chaahta hai,

par hota woh hai jo Main chaahta hun.

Tu woh kar jo Main chaahta hun,

phir woh hoga jo tu chaahta hai.

1156 Pati: Aaj khane mein kya banaogi?

Patni: Jo tum kaho.

Pati: Daal chawal bana lo.

Patni: Abhi kal hi to khaye the.

Pati: To sabji bana lo.

Patni: Bachche nahi khate.

Pati: Fir keema.

Patni: Mujhe elergy hai.

Pati: Parathe?

Patni: Raat ko parathe kaun khata hai?

Pati: Kadhi?

Patni: Dahi nahi hai.

Pati: Fir kya banaogi?

Patni: Jo tum kaho.

1157 Friends woh hote hain jo

marne ke baad Narak mein bhi milte hain aur

waha par bhi kehte hain,

Yaar, Yamraaj ki biwi to item hai!

1158 True friend is like a stapler:

Its easy to attach but

hard to detach and worst is

even when you are able to detach it,

it still leaves mark behind..forever.

1159 The relations which require effort

to be maintained are never true and

if relations are true they never require

any effort to be maintained.

1160 When you win you celebrate but

do the same when you loose..

because you have given a chance for someone to celebrate.

That's Attitude!

1161 New friends are like poems..

but old friends are like alphabets..

Don't forget your old friends because

you always need alphabets to read poems..

1162 Na mom ki maar se,

na dad ke atyachar se,

na dosto ki fatkar se,

na ladki ke inkar se,

na chapplon ki bochaar se,

ladke darte hain to bas

Rakhi ke tyohaar se..

COMING SOON!

1163 Santa plane landing hote hi chillane laga..

Bangalore aaya..Bangalore aaya..balle balle!!

Airhostess: Excuse me sir, please be silent.

Santa: Ok, i am sorry,

Angalore aaya..angalore aaya..alle alle!!

1164 Jab khayal kiya to khayal bhi tera aaya,

jab aankhein band ki to khawab bhi tera aaya,

socha yaad kar lu us khuda ko

magar jab honth khule to naam bhi tera aaya..

1165 Ek aadmi sasural gaya.

Uski saas ne saat din tak subha-sham usko

palak ka saag khilaya.

Aathve din poocha kya khaaoge?

Aadmi bola: Khet dikha do,

main khud hi char aaoonga.

1166 Man in God's shop: Lord, what do you sell?

God: Whatever your heart desires!

Man: I want money, fame and power.

God smiled: Sorry son, I sell seeds not fruits.

1167 Boss: Pichle 6 mahino mein tumne kitni chhutiyan li hain,

kabhi bimari to kabhi honeymoon to kabhi bachche ki bimari.

Ab kya hai?

Employee: Sir, kal meri shaadi hai.

1168 Ek ladki aur santa ko pyaar ho gaya.

Ladki: Aapko meri bilkul parwah nahi hai.

Santa: Oye pagli, pyaar karne waale kisi ki parwah nahi karte!

1169 Santa: Yaar Banta, hum dono mein kya rishta hai?

Banta: Jo Gobar aur Uple mein hai.

Santa: Woh kaise?

Banta: Jab Gobar Santa hai, tabhi to Upla Banta hai.

1170 Nepali Anthem: Shuno gaur se duniya waalo,

chaahe kitne mehal bana lo,

uske aage garden bana lo,

uske aage gate laga lo,

gate ke aage honge hum Nepali..o o o o o shaabji..

1171 Ek ajeeb haqiqat:

100 Rs. ka note bahut zyaada lagta hai

jab kisi gareeb ko dena ho aur

bahut kam lagta hai jab kisi hotel mein baithe hon.

Teen minute bhagwaan ko yaad karna bahut mushkil hai magar

teen ghante ki film dekhna bahut aasaan hai.

Poore din office ke baad gym jaana nahi thakaata magar

jab apne hi maa-baap ke pair dabaane hon to hum thak jaate hain..

1172 Zindagi phool si muskurati rahe,

har khushi aapke daaman mein jagmagati rahe,

khuda se dua hai to bas itni

ki sms ke bahane aapko humaari yaad aati rahe.

1173 Faithful husbands will go straight to heaven!

Rest enjoy heaven here on earth.

1174 Mohabbat ke raaste mein har waqt dard milega..

Mohabbat ke raaste mein har waqt dard milega..

meri maano isi raaste par medical store khol lo

Mast Chalega!

1175 Teacher to a primary student:

Aaj tum late kaise? School to saat baje shuru ho jaata hai.

Kid: Madam, aap meri itni chinta mat kiya karo..

log galaat samjhenge.

1176 PUNJABI

P: Pangebaaz

U: Unbeatable

N: Naughty

J: Joshiley

A: Azaad

B: Bahadur

I: Intelligent

1177 One say friendship and love met.

Love asked why do you exist when i am here.

Friendship answered i am here to leave smile

where you leave tears..

1178 Friendship is not a collection of message

but it is selection of hearts..

All friends are not true,

but true friends are very few

like You!

1179 Indian Airline's slogan:

A warm experience and motherly treatment!

Warm because the ACs doesn't work and

motherly because all air hostesses are above 40..

1180 If you wait for happy moments,

you will wait forever..

But if you start believing that you are happy,

you will be happy forever.

1181 Pati ke marne ke next day wife ne paper mein ad diya:

Antim sanskaar mein shaamil hue sab logo ko thanks,

From: Hema(32), Height-5'2", 36/24/36,

Gora rang, bachche nahi hain.

1182 Ting Tong

Open the Door

Kaun?

Main SMS hun.

Kya chaahiye?

Ek baat kehni hai.

Bolo

Good Night n Sweet Dreams..

1183 2 seater helicopter crashed on a kabristan in Punjab.

Next day's news: Punjab mein hawaai jahaaz gira,

250 laashe dhoond nikali gai hain, aur talaash jaari hai.

1184 Love and fight are part of life.

There should be fight to make your love more deep because

when you fight you come to know

how much you miss each other..

1185 Subha-subha ki pehli sunheri kiran

mere upar aai aur mere kaan mein dhime se bol gai..

Utthh jaa, duniya ko tang karne ka time ho gaya hai..

1186 5 June 2010..

Ek sachchi ghatna.

Jise sun kar insaan ki rooh tak kaanp jaati hai.

Magar zaalimo ke haath tak na kaanpe.

Dehradun mein 17 saal ki ek maasoom bachchi.

Jisne abhi 12th complete kiya tha.

Aur jo din uske enjoy karne ke the.

Uske apne sage baap-bhai ne behla-fusla kar.

Uska engineering ka form bharva diya.

1187 You know why girls ar shorter than boys?

Because when they hug each other

the boy let his head fall on her shoulder and

the girl rests her head on his heart to hear the beat.

1188 Policeman: Sir, how did you come to have this accident?

Motorist: Well, the sign just there says, Stop? Look? Listen. and

while i was doing that

the train hit me.

1189 Inerviewer: What is recession?

Candidate: When 'Wine & Women' get replaced by

'Water & Wife' that critical phase of life is called recession.

1190 Milne ki tamanna lekar aaya yeh sms,

Chehre pe aapki smile dekhne aaya yeh sms,

Bhule nahi hai hum aapko

Yeh yaad dilane aaya yeh sms..

1191 Bharat ka sabse bada pralay ka din kaun sa hoga?

.

.

?

02/08/2012.

.

.

Kyonki is din rakhi aur Friendship Day ek saath hai..

1192 Banana: Why are you crying?

Apple: All of them cut and eat me.

Banana: Poda! You are better than me.

All of them remove my dress & eat me.

1193 Silence is the best answer for all questions.

Smiling is the best reaction in all situations.

Unfortunately

neither of them

helps in interview..

1194 Only a few people can feel the rain,

others just get wet.

Only a few lovers can feel the pain of depart,

others just find another.

1195 Lambi hai manzil, dooor hai kinara,

kyun nahi aata message tumhara,

bhool gaye naam ya number humara,

ya mil gaya koi dost humse bhi pyara..

1196 Khuda kare aapko khushiyan hazaar mile,

mujhse bhi achcha yaar mile,

aapki hi girlfriend aapko rakhi baandhe aur

aapko ek aur behen ka pyaar mile..

1197 Never be proud nor be depressed for what you are and

for the position you hold because

after the game of chess

the king and soldiers go into the same box..

1198 Why smart people always say they are busy?

Think.

?

?

?

I will tell you later,

right now i am busy..

1199 Life mein chaahe kitne bhi dukh mile, ghum mile,

apne aansu beh jaane dena, unhe rokna mat kyonki..

ruke hue paani mein hi Malaria wale machchar ande dete hain.

1200 We often say that

Jo chaahte hain woh aasaani se kyun nahi milta.

But the fact of life is that

Hum chaahte bhi wahi hain jo milna aasaan nahi hota.