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for mp tous en moderation

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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882019 Junk Foodie

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for mp tous en moderation

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 747

Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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for mp tous en moderation

882019 Junk Foodie

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

882019 Junk Foodie

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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for mp tous en moderation

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 847

882019 Junk Foodie

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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for mp tous en moderation

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 847

882019 Junk Foodie

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 647

for mp tous en moderation

882019 Junk Foodie

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

882019 Junk Foodie

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882019 Junk Foodie

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

882019 Junk Foodie

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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Text and photos copyright copy 2010 by Emilie Baltz Al l r ights reserved

This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced in anyform without permission from the publisher exceptions are

made for br ie f excerpts used in publ i shed reviews

Publ ished by Adams Media a div is ion of F+W Media Inc 57 Li t t le f ie ld St ree t Avon MA 02322 USA

wwwadamsmediacom

ISBN-10 1-4405-0641-8ISBN-13 978-1-4405-0641-3

eISBN 10 1-4405-1089-XeISBN 13 978-1-4405-1089-2

Pr in ted in the Uni ted Sta tes of Amer ica 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cata log ing- in-Publica t ion Datais available from the publisher

This publ ica t ion i s des igned to provide accura te and author i ta t ive informat ion wi th regard to thesubjec t mat ter covered I t i s so ld wi th the unders tanding tha t the publ i sher i s not engaged in

rendering legal accounting or other professional advice If legal advice or other expertass is tance i s requi red the serv ices of a competent profess ional person should be sought

mdashFrom a Declarat ion of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Associat ion and a Committee of Publ ishers and Associa t ions

Many of the des ignat ions used by manufac turers and se l le rs to d is t inguish the i r product a re c la imedas trademarks Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a

t rademark c la im the des ignat ions have been pr in ted wi th in i t ia l capi ta l le t te rs

This book is avai lable at quanti ty discounts for bulk purchasesFor information please cal l 1-800-289-0963

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

882019 Junk Foodie

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

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1 INTRODUCTION Guilty pleasures

3 EQUIPMENT amp TECHNIQUES What it takes to be a Junk Foodie

19 PETIT BREAKFASTS Kickstartinrsquo sugar highs

Fluffy Grits with Caramel Crumble Pop-Tart Brunch Strudel Triple Berry Compote Parfait Cheese Scone Aztec Coffee Cake Banana Brown Sugar Churro

35 LES LUNCHES Yup You can have your cake and eat it (for lunch) too

Waldorf Salad Tropicale Welsh Rarebit Corn Pop Pancakes with Satay Dipping Sauce

contents

Jelly Belly Saltentildeas French Onion Soup Tom Khaa Ramen Cheddar Relish Ploughman Crispy Potato Plantain Torta Balinese Spring Roll Suzette Sweet rsquonrsquo Salty Tea Sandwiches

61 GRANDS DINNERS Decadence does come in a Dorito

Potato Dauphinoise Three Ways Malaysian Pork Belly Pot Pie

Homemade Mafeacute Veggie Burger Gnocchi agrave la Parisienne Terrine Normande Roti de Porc Algerien avec Fruits Garnis Cheddar Feuilleteacute with Green Apple Relish White Pizza with Potatoes and Anise Caviar Chilean Frito Corn Chowder Three Cheese Chilequiles

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

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10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

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the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

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petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

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89 LES DESSERTS Lilrsquo bites that will leave rsquoem wanting more

Mocha Nougat Fondant Twinkie Napoleon

Truffled Berry Praline Purses Moelleux au Chocolat Ho Ho Buche de Noeumll Banana Praline Paris Brest Very Cherry Berry Jelly Belly Clafoutis Circus Peanut Mound-arons Chocolate Orange Cregraveme Bruleacutee Croquemboucircche agrave lrsquoAmericaine

117 LES AMUSES BOUCHES Mini morsels that pack a punch

Cheddar-Dusted Popcorn Strawberry Blinis Caramelized BBQ Balls Tartlette agrave lrsquoOnion Cheesestraws

Spicy Sasparilla Marinated Pork Bites Lebanese Birdrsquos Nest Boucheacutee Moleacute Crunch Fromage Fondant Cube Crunchy Whole Grain Choco-pops

141 LES COCKTAILS Liquid libations

Old-Fashioned Splash Black Russian Twist Hi Ho Refresher Wildberry Taiwanese Bubble Tea Spritzer

Sangria Smasharita

153 RESOURCES Addicted Herersquos where to stock up

164 ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

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MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

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httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

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INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

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INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

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30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

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[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

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INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1147

This book could not have been made tasty without the support and guidanceof a few select individuals Wendy Simard who thought this idea had moreto it than just junk Mimi Julia Arthur and all the people who have livedwith the crates of shelf stable food for months Kate who encouraged mybad habits Rinat and Johan who taught me true dedication and drive Allanand Core 77 who rst published this wacky idea Tim the brother whowill forever be the king of overeating crap Marie Pierre and Joe for neverallowing me to eat this stuff and making sure I grew up healthy creativeand independent William Clark for the nuts nrsquo bolts Lydia and Meade forintroducing me to a thing called ldquopoprdquo Pierre and Lucie for introducing meto a thing called ldquola grande cuisinerdquo and Jason for everything in between

Bon appetit

acknowledgments

x middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

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882019 Junk Foodie

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882019 Junk Foodie

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

882019 Junk Foodie

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

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Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1347

882019 Junk Foodie

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middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

882019 Junk Foodie

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882019 Junk Foodie

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equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

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4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

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6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

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8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1347

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1447

middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1547

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1647

equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1747

4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1447

middotmiddotmiddot 1

introduction I grew up in a house without junk food My mother was French and preached of everything inmoderation Each meal was incredibly creative but above all healthy We were humans and thatrsquos whathumans ate Good healthy food Snack time at our house meant fruit wedges toast and maybe some juice Maybe The sugar-iest thing my brother and I had was the occasional box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch And if my mom was away from the breakfast table wersquod eat three bowls as fast as we could and then drinkthe milk The last few gulps were so thick with cinnamon and sugar it felt like drinking delicious edible wetsand Junk food to me was what aliens ate And I was jealous of them They lived all over town in housesthat looked and smelled different They had cable TV didnrsquot need to clean their rooms and some of themwere even allowed to say the forbidden words ldquoShut uprdquo In short they were to be admired

To balance this land of heathens wersquod y off to France in the summer and eat things like Fois Gras andTarte Amandine The natives there said words like ldquomercirdquo and ldquosrsquo il vous plaitrdquo It was a far cry from the landof Cinnamon Toast Crunchmdashin this world we used silver forks and knives and supported the importance ofapperitifs and elbows-off-the-table Never ever would you dare ask for a thing called ketchup

That was then This is now Today the French eat Twinkies and the Americans eat Fois Gras Itrsquossomewhere in between that Junk Foodie evolved Some call it fusion I call it revolution rsquoCuz one rainy New York day I sat at my desk dreaming up ways of making tasty distractions from the ofce snacks around me And soon enough an entire regime crystallized And soon enough I left my job to make this stuff Grossdelicious ugly beautiful it was both alien and familiar It was Junk Foodie I make no pretense of this being any good for you at all but I do guarantee to delight inspire andmake everyone giggle Take it with a grain of sugar() and practice moderation Because too much of

anything is no good at all But not enough fun is a crime Dig in

hellipEmilie Baltz 2010

Guilty Pleasures

middotmiddotmiddot 1

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1547

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1647

equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1747

4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

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[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

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12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

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14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1547

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1647

equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1747

4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1647

equipment amp techniquesWhat it takes to be a Junk Foodie

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1747

4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1747

4 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

junk foodie pantry

Yoo-hoo

This sweet chocolate drinkdates from the 1920s andis a great addition to anycocktail beverage or recipethat calls for a liquidy

brown goo

Kool-Aid

Nebraskarsquos ldquoofficial softdrinkrdquo this powder wascreated by inventor EdwinPerkins and his wife Kitty in1927 to reduce the cost of

shipping liquids

Nescafeacute

It took seven years to developNescafeacute for its release inSwitzerland on April 1 1938Guess it takes about thatamount of time to figure outldquojust add water

Fanta

Inspired by Germanimagination (Fantasie)after the Allies placeda trading ban on NaziGermany during WorldWar II Fanta was acreative solution toquenching thirst usingonly ingredients availablein Germany

Kool-Aid Fun Fizz

Soft Drink 20 Fun Fizz letsyou have your Kool Aidmdashandfizzy too Drop it in any JunkFoodie liquid for extra zing

LIQUIDS

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO BE A JUNK FOOD IE

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 5

Coca-Cola

Originally developed in1886 as a nonalcoholicversion of French WineCoca Coke was firstused medicinally to treat

diseases See it is goodfor you

Root Beer

This root-based beverage

is made of more spicesthan there are continentalstates Well maybe notbut it does have a ton offlavor and is the beveragethat was first popularizedin the USA

7UpGet this 7Up was first soldunder the name ldquoBib-LabelLithiated Lemon-Lime Sodardquoand was launched a coupleweeks before the Wall StreetCrash of 1929 It containedmood-enhancing drugs andclaimed to cure hangoversNow therersquos a reason to getldquoUprdquo in the morning

Grape SodaHey Itrsquos purple rsquoNuff said

Ginger Ale

This spicy stuff was the firstUS soft drink originatingin 1866 and modeled afterimported Irish beers Todayitrsquos used for all sorts of

good stuff Motion sicknessremedy included

Nestea

It might not seem like

junk food but given that thesweetness of this bottledbeverage places it in thesame category as softdrinks we thought to add itin for a drop of health

THESE INGREDIENTS CAN BE INTERCHANGED FOR ANY SIMILAR GENERICOR BRAND-NAME PRODUCT IN THE MARKETPLACE THESE CHOICES DO NOTREPRESENT ANY BRAND ALLEGIANCES WE JUST THINK THEY TASTE GOOD

LIQUIDS

These are some ofour faves Mix rsquoemup and enjoy

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 1947

6 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Pork Rinds

OK These might not be sogreat for your figure butcome on you know you loversquoem Plus yoursquoll need somekind of meat-y product in

your pantry (Unless yoursquorea pigThen you shouldnrsquot bereading this Actually youprobably canrsquot read this)

Onion and Garlic Chips

Sure these thingsrsquoll give you

bad breath to the max butthe garlicky salty goodnesthey lend to any dish willget you your friends backWe promise

Potato SticksChip-in-stick-form BrilliantUse rsquoem to get that gourmet julienned look lsquonrsquo feel forthe best of your Junk Foodierecipes

Sour Cream and OnionChips

Potato chips rule You canuse rsquoem for extra crunchor in this case a lilrsquo creamyoniony kick thatrsquos sure to

please

Sun ChipsWersquore all about balancedmeals so we had to throw inthe Sun Chips Yup Theyrsquoregood for you For sure Andtherersquos a heart-shapeddoodad on the package Sothatrsquos proof enough that youcan eat seven packs andfeel great right

SALTY STUFF

From corn to potatoherersquos the stuff chipsare made of

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2047

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 7

Fritos

Hey These are vegan Andthe guy who started thecompany paid $100 forthe original recipe Whatan investment Smash rsquoem

up for some totally cornyingredients

Barbecue-flavoredChips

No one really know whereBBQ came from but it isthought that ldquobarbecuerdquomay derive from the

word ldquobarabicurdquo whichtranslates as ldquosacred firepitrdquo Proving once againthat therersquos more than justspice rsquonrsquo rub in here

Salt lsquon Vinegar Chips

For a bit of a twist add insome of these sour crunchybits to make your recipesthat much more sassy

Cheetos

These puffy guys aremade of corn and waterthen rolled in a variety ofingredients to flavor rsquoemTheyrsquore our favorite productto smash The super-fineorange powdered stuffyoursquore left with is awesomefor coating Not sniffingthough Do not sniff it Ever

Red Hot Chips

This is the stuff that stainsyour fingers red hot so becareful when handlingNo one likes a blushingpinkie finger

SALTY STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2147

8 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Peanuts

Therersquos really nothingbetter than a handful ofsuper-salty roasted peanutsEspecially after swimmingin a chlorinated pool Give

it a try Unless you have apeanut allergy Or a chlorineallergy Then please refrainfrom either Or both

Mayo

Mayonnaise Oh youmake the world go roundThis emulsified goo helpseverything taste just a lilrsquobit better We encourage

you to ask for extra packsnext time yoursquore at thedeli Then stash them in adrawer for your next JunkFoodie meal

Ketchup

Did you know the largestketchup packet weighed1500 pounds and was8x4 feet tall and 9 frac12inches wide These aremuch smaller So get alot of rsquoem Theyrsquore the lifeblood of the Junk Foodie

Cheese Crackers and

Peanut Butter CrackersFrom the makers of the GirlScout Cookie comes theultimate two-in-one JunkFoodie ingredient Offeringboth cheese and peanutfillings along with somebuttery wheaty stuff thepro Junk Foodie will loveto deconstruct to get morebang for your buck

Mustard

This is one ancient condimentIt dates back to Roman timeswhen these old-school cooksmixed unfermented grape juice with mustard seeds Theyliked it a bunch So much thatcenturies later wersquore still using

it Think Julius Caesar wouldlike the squishy pack

Relish

Squeezable pickledcucumber Sounds greathuh

SALTY STUFF

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2247

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 9

Nacho Cheese Doritos

Doritos means ldquolittle bits ofgoldrdquo in Spanish No wonderwe like to hoard massiveamounts of these crispysnacks in our pantry Makesure to invest in a kilo Ahem

Handi-Snacks

The 1980s brought us

Madonna and the FreshPrince but nothing as non-perishable as Handi-Snackscompartmentalized cheesenrsquo crackers Try the Premiumvarietal for a step up fromthose flat breadstuffs

Popcorn An American commoditypopped corn is our oldestmost authentic snack Whatstarted as a gesture offriendship between nativesand immigrants now coversmovie theater floors Howrsquosthat for evolution

Cool Ranch Doritos

Think of these like all thechips combined A medleyof flavors from sour creamand mayo to green onlionand garlic the Ranch Doritohas nuthinrsquo to do withthe cowboy ancestors of Americana but it sure is amelting pot chip-ified

Cheez-Its

Theyrsquore addictive Seventeen

packs disappeared duringthe making of this book Nocheese was harmed in theeating

Ramen A true wonder of modernman Ramen Instant Lunchcups can transform from dryto super soup in a matter ofminutes

SALTY STUFF

Cheesy sp icy gooeyand crunchy flavorshere Use theseingredients to givean extra spice toyour Junk Foodie

feast

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2347

10 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Chocolate Cupcake

The creamy center makesthis one-cup portion of asweet treat the stuff dreamsare made of

Ho Hos

Chocolate Rolled DeliciousThe Ho Horsquos got nothinrsquo todo with Santa Claus butsure does make for a merrytreat Check it out in the HoHo Buche de Noeumll recipeand you wonrsquot need anythingelse for Christmas

Twinkies

The name of this cream-

filled treat was inspired bya 1930s ad for Twinkle-ToeShoes Hmmm stilldoesnrsquot explain why they lastforever

Donettes

Two million of these bite-

sized cake-in-a-ring-thingsare consumed every yearThatrsquos enough to cover lotsof football fields

Pop-Tarts

Introduced in 1964 thePop-Tart name was inspiredby that king of retro artmovements ldquoPop Artrdquo Thesetoaster-ready breakfasttreats were not only hip butadvanced The packagingwas adapted from a processnormally used for dog foodpacking Delicious

SWEET STUFF

The cream and fillingof these tasty treatscan be whipped andmashed to c reatea variety of pastrydelights

junk foodie pantry

Cracker Jacks

This is one old snack It wasfirst whipped up in 1893 bybrothers Fritz and Louis forthe first Chicago Worldrsquos fair

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2447

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 11

Little DebbieStrawberry Shortcake

A pinwheel of strawberryand cream this Little Debbiesnack is a whirly wind ofwonder Or cake It might

just also be cake

Fruit Pies

Available in a variety offlavors and expiration dateschoose your pies wiselyHere are the flavors wesuggest for well-balancedJunk Foodie meals cherrypeach pineapple blueberryand ldquoAll-American Applerdquo

Animal Crackers

Sure kids love rsquoem butcome on who can resistbiting the head off achimpanzee

Little DebbieBanana Twins

Rare are the banana-flavored junk foods so guard theselike potatoes in 1840sIreland

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2547

12 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

WhoppersThe ancestor of the originalmalted milk ball was calledthe Giant Since 1949theyrsquove been known asWhoppers Neither brandshould be confused withfootball teams or fast-foodsandwiches

Fun Dip

Face it This is just sugarSugar in a pouch with asugar spoon And it sureis delicious Use it here fordecorating flavoring andadded energy buzz

Hersheyrsquos KissesOne of the most popular American candies theseKisses of chocolate mostlikely got their name fromthe sound the machinemakes when droppingrsquoem out

Fluff

In the early twentieth centurya man named ArchibaldQuery went door-to-doorselling his sweet spreadablemarshmallow goo inSomerville MA Imagine thatscene The milkman the iceman the marshmallow manTimes have changed butfluff stays just as addictiveand delicious as everThanks Archie

Mounds

We didnrsquot really feel like anut so this pantry only holdsthe coconutdark chocolatesibling of the famous candybar duo Itrsquos perfect forpicking apart and adapting toa variety of far-out recipes

SWEET STUFF

Cookies c andiessugar and f luffiness

junk foodie pantry

Starlight Mint Candies

You can buy these or justcollect them from variousdiners around the country

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2647

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 13

Oreo

This is the best-sellingcookie of the twentiethcentury Strangely enoughits name may come fromthe Greek root ldquoorexinrdquo (forappetizing) or ldquoanorexicrdquo(loss of appetite) The built-inparadox makes perfect sensefor this black lsquonrsquo whitecreamy lsquonrsquo crunchy delight

Vanilla Pudding

In the Middle Ages cooksdiscovered how to bindeggs together to createcreamy fillings Today withthickeners and stabilizersreplace the yolks in thiscreamy junk food

Reese rsquos Peanut Butter CupThese peanut butter chocolatecups date from 1928(originally not presentlyalways check expirationdates) Invented by HarryBurnett Reese in the connesof his basement Reesersquostoday are a staple for anypantry Make sure to share

Chocolate Chip Cookie

Classic junk food You canrsquotget much better than thisGo ahead dip rsquoem in milkpick all the chips out throwthem at your brotherrsquos headKidding Please donrsquot dothat Whatever your cookiepleasure this fundamentalsnack is sure to take you farin the Junk Foodie world

Butterfinger Mini

Coined from the slang termldquoButterfingerrdquo which meansa clumsy person this delicateflaky peanutchocolate treatmight just slip out of yourfingers if yoursquore not carefulWersquore suggesting the minishere so you can keep a tighthold on rsquoem

SnickersThe best-selling candy barof all times Snickers mightsupply more than a sugarrush With nougat andpeanuts itrsquos a great additionto a Junk Foodie pantry

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2747

14 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

Hot Tamales

Chewy cinnamony spiceis a great addition to avariety of exotic JunkFoodie recipes Stock upand dig in

Tootsie Pops

We donrsquot really care howmany licks it takes to getto the center of thesechocolate treatndashfilledconfections Theyrsquore tastyenough to dip lick andcrunch into any meal

Twizzlers

Add a li lrsquo s izzle to your daywith these candyrific ropesof gummyness We love rsquoemas straws for beveragesand they also chop up realnice for added strawberrychewiness

Tootsie RollsThe smaller sibling of theTootsie Pop the TootsieRoll was invented as analternative to traditionalchocolate candy thatmelted all over the place

Dots

These retro gumdrops comesix to a packmdasha perfectserving for fruity garnish ora colorful splash

Fruit Roll-UpsThe late rsquo70s brought usthese pectin-based wondersTheir stretchy texture makesrsquoem the lycra of haute JunkFoodie Theyrsquore perfect forshaping wrapping andtransforming even the mostbasic junk food into flightsof fancy

SWEET STUFFF

We all scream forcandy Herersquos some ofthe most useful kindsout there Oh yeahand a cereal and fruitything thrown in for

good health

junk foodie pantry

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2847

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 15

Jelly Belly Jelly Beans

Itrsquos the bouillon cube of junkfood The Jelly Belly will saveyour tastebuds by offering aplethora of fruit (and funny)flavors that take your JunkFoodie feast to new heights

Candy Buttons

Colored sugar dots gluedonto paper Not much moreto this one

Wonka Puckerooms

Sweet and sour the zingof these jelly gummies isa must-have for any well-rounded palate

Welchrsquos Fruit Snacks

Ostensibly healthy thesefruit-based snacks areas sugar-filled as theneighboring confections onthis pagemdashthey might sendya reelinrsquo into Berries lsquonrsquoCherries overload if you eatfour packages

Corn Pops Cereal

Puffy sweet balls of cornThey float in milk but weprefer to smash rsquoem upand use rsquoem as the gluefor treats that need a littleall-American stick

SWEET STUFF

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 2947

MICROWAVEFor heating and melting

PLASTIC SPORK Double-duty mixing utensil

PLASTIC KNIFEKeeps the slicing safe

MICROWAVE-SAFE BOWLBrings it all together

MEASURING SPOONFor gourmet precision

PAPER PLATESFor perfect plating get the good stuff

16 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

t h i

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3047

the smash middotmiddotmiddot Make nothing out of something Thistechnique is a simple way of pulverizing mostany bagged junk food Simply pierce a tiny holein the top of the bag to let air escape Take careto keep contents away from face and eyes

then enthusiastically smash the contents untillittle to no texture is felt inside the bag Youshould be left with a fine powder that is happilyincorporated into many Junk Foodie recipesmdashbut should never be sniffed

the reservemiddotmiddotmiddot Frosting to filler or using the whole junkReserving is a method by which a trained Junk Foodie can create a variety of ingredient oppor-tunities by carefully deconstructing the called-for junk food into its fundamental components

This is a way to maximize your junk and thinkabout the whole food not just the sticky sweetfrosting Be prepared to focus on minutiaeand be warned Carefully reserving a layer ofcoconut filler may be daunting Itrsquos important tokeep your sporks clean and your paper platesready And if that doesnrsquot work drink some

Mountain Dew

techniques

[ equipment amp techniques ]middotmiddotmiddot 17

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

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Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3147

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3247

petit breakfastsKickstartinrsquo sugar highs

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3347

INGREDIENTS

1 small bag Fritos

1 box Cracker Jacks1 teaspoon Fluff

Pulverize Fritos to a fine powder Smash Cracker Jacks in box Be

careful to keep these objects away from eyes when smashing Combine1 teaspoon of Fluff with enough Fritos powder to create a dense pastePlace in bowl Microwave on high for 15 seconds Top with a puff ofFluff and smashed Cracker Jacks Serve while gooey warm

uffy grits withcaramel crumble

20 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3447

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3547

INGREDIENTS

1 Apple Pie filling

1 Handi-Snacks Cheese Dip1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart crust

Cut top off Apple Pie Scoop out filling and place to side Smear Handi-

Snacks Cheese Dip on one side of reserved Brown Sugar CinnamonPop-Tart crust (see Banana Brown Sugar Churro recipe) Top with applepie filling Cover with other half of Pop-Tart crust Cut edges off to form aneat rectangle shape Serve

pop-tartbrunch strudel

22 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3747

INGREDIENTS

1 Twinkie f illing1 Cherry Pie filling

1 package Berries lsquon Cherries Fruit Snacks

Cut Twinkie in half and reserve cream Put Twinkie cake aside for futureuse (You can refrigerate the Twinkie cake or place it in an airtightcontainer at room temperature Shelf life is nearly eternal) Carefullyremove top from Cherry Pie Scoop out filling Combine Cherry filling withTwinkie cream reserving a tiny bit for garnish Place a layer of Berries lsquonCherries Fruit snack in bottom of a glass Top with creamfilling mixtureGarnish with reserved Twinkie cream and a fruit snack

triple berrycompote parfait

24 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3847

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 3947

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4047

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4147

INGREDIENTS

1 Chips Ahoy cookie 2 Oreo cookies

3 Hot Tamales

Smash Chips Ahoy into crumbly mixture Separate Oreos and reservecream Smash Oreo cookies into fine powder Cut Hot Tamales into smallchunks Combine Oreo powder half of Chips Ahoy mixture and HotTamale chunks Add splash of water Mix to fine paste Place in smallramekin and microwave for 20 seconds Remove and let cool DemoldTop with Oreo cream and remaining Chips Ahoy crumble Add HotTamale garni for an extra sizzle

aztec coffee cake

28 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4247

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4347

30 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4447

[ petit breakfasts ] middotmiddotmiddot 31

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4547

INGREDIENTS

1 package Banana Twins3 Chips Ahoy cookies

1 Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel

Smash Banana Twins together to form a doughy mess Keep kneadingtogether until the dough firms Roll into a long cylinder Smash 3 Chips Ahoy cookies to a fine powder Remove all chocolate chips and reserveCut Brown Sugar Cinnamon Toaster Strudel in half Scrape out fillingMicrowave filling for 5 seconds or until more gooey and spreadableCarefully spread over Banana Twin cylinder Roll churro in Chips Ahoypowder Enjoy warm

banana brownsugar churro

+ +

32 middotmiddotmiddot [ junk foodie ]

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

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882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4647

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom

882019 Junk Foodie

httpslidepdfcomreaderfulljunk-foodie 4747

Purchase Junk Foodie

51 Delicious Recipes for the Lowbrow Gourmand

Emilie Baltz

AdamsmediacomAmazoncom

Barnesandnoblecom

Borderscom