July—August issue 2013

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July/August 2013 Love and Be Loved Family And Be Part of a Honoring Molly Holt To

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• The Woman With Miraculous Tears • Holt President Emeritus Dr. David Kim shares some of his favorite memories of working alongside Molly Holt in Korea in the 1950s and ‘60s. • Holt adoptee and former Holt board member Steven Stirling reflects on Molly Holt’s many years of service to children. • Through play therapy, a Holt adoptive mom helps her daughter overcome anxious attachment. • How Molly Holt impacted the lives of two boys while in her care at the Ilsan Center in Korea.

Transcript of July—August issue 2013

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Loveand Be Loved

FamilyAnd Be Part of a

Honoring Molly Holt

To

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July-August 2013 vol. 55 no. 3

Our VisionA world where every child has a loving and secure home.

In 1955 Harry and Bertha Holt responded to the conviction that God had called them to help children left homeless by the Korean War. Though it took an act of the U.S. Congress, the Holts adopted eight of those children. But they were moved by the desperate plight of other orphaned children in Korea and other countries as well, so they founded Holt International Children’s Services in order to unite homeless children with families who would love them as their own. Today Holt International serves children and families in Cambodia, China, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (North Korea), Ethiopia, Haiti, India, Nepal, the Philippines, the Republic of Korea (South Korea), Thailand, Mongolia, Uganda, the United States and Vietnam.

President & CEOPhillip A. LittletonVice-President of International Programs Dan LauerVice-President of Finance & Administration Kevin SweeneyVice-President of Adoption Services Lisa VertulfoVice-President of Development Jack WharfieldVice-President of Policy & External Affairs Susan Soonkeum CoxVice President, Asia ProgramsDavid LimVice President, China ProgramsJian Chen

Holt International magazine is published by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., a nonprofit, Christian, child welfare organization. While Holt International is responsible for the content of Holt International magazine, the viewpoints expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the organization.

Creative Services Director Brian CampbellCreative Services Manager Laura Mathews Managing Editor Robin MunroWriter/Editor Ashli KeyserWriter/Editor Billie Loewen

Subscription Orders/Inquiries & Address ChangesSend all editorial correspondence and changes of address to Holt International magazine, Holt International, P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402. We ask for an annual donation of $20 to cover the cost of publication and mailing inside the United States and $40 outside the United States. Holt welcomes the contribution of letters and articles for publication, but assumes no responsibility for return of letters, manuscripts or photos.

Reprint InformationPermission from Holt International is required prior to reprinting any portion of Holt International magazine. Please direct reprint requests to editor Brian Campbell at 541/687.2202 or [email protected].

Copyright ©2013 by Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. ISSN 1047-7640

in this issue

FRONT COVER: Molly Holt with children in care at the Ilsan Center in Korea, 1973. Today, at 77, Molly continues to help care for Ilsan’s more than 300 resi-dents — all of them with mental or physical special needs.

P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175

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Dear Readers

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In this issue of Holt International magazine, we pay special tribute to Molly Holt – daugh-

ter of Harry and Bertha Holt, and board chairperson for Holt Children’s Services of Korea.

For nearly 57 years, Molly has lovingly cared for homeless children in Korea, primarily

at the Ilsan Center for children and adults with special medical and physical needs. In that

time, Molly has served as foster mother, nurse and champion to literally thousands of chil-

dren – many of them now adult adoptees like former Holt board member Steven Stirling,

whose story appears on page 11.

Although Steve was adopted in 1966, many of his friends have grown to adulthood at

Ilsan, where they have had the opportunity to receive rehabilitative therapy, special educa-

tion and vocational training to help them live as independently as possible. It is programs

like these that make the Ilsan Center a world-class model of care for people with disabilities.

And it is through the efforts of Molly Holt – who holds a Master’s degree in rehabilitation

counseling and special education – that Ilsan came to implement many of them.

It is not uncommon to hear Molly referred to as the Mother Teresa of Korea, nor is it an

overstatement. But among the residents of Ilsan, Molly is known simply as “Unee,” or big

sister. To them, Molly is family. And she would have it no other way.

Although I have written many stories for the Holt magazine over the past three years, this

is the first issue for which I have served as managing editor. In this role, I feel a tremendous

responsibility to advocate as best I can for orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children.

And it seems fitting that the first magazine I produce would highlight the extraordinary

contributions of a woman who serves as a role model to all who seek a more compassionate

world for children. Molly Holt is truly an inspiration – to me, and to all of us at Holt.

I hope you enjoy the stories featured in this issue, starting with a wonderful piece by

Holt President Emeritus Dr. David H. Kim. David was the first employee Harry Holt hired in

Korea, and for many years he worked side-by-side with Molly caring for children in Korea.

I hope, as you read, that you also feel inspired to stand alongside us in advocating for

orphaned and abandoned children and children with special needs – for Molly’s children.

Robin Munro | Managing Editor

4 The Woman With Miraculous TearsHolt President Emeritus Dr. David Kim shares

some of his favorite memories of working along-

side Molly Holt in Korea in the 1950s and ‘60s.

11 Adoptees TodayHolt adoptee and former Holt board member Ste-

ven Stirling reflects on Molly Holt’s many years

of service to children.

12 Post AdoptionThrough play therapy, a Holt adoptive mom helps

her daughter overcome anxious attachment.

16 From the FamilyHow Molly Holt impacted the lives of two boys

while in her care at the Ilsan Center in Korea.

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P.O. Box 2880 (1195 City View) Eugene, OR 97402 Ph: 541/687.2202 Fax: 541/683.6175

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In October 1956, Harry and Bertha Holt’s 20-year-old daughter

Molly arrived for the first time in Korea – fresh out of nursing

school, and ready to help her parents care for the children left

orphaned and abandoned in the wake of the Korean War.

While in Korea, Molly had a vision for her future. As she once

said, “I felt that this was where the Lord would have me be for the

rest of my life.” Nearly 57 years have passed since Molly first came

to the country where her parents founded Holt International. In

those years, Holt has grown and changed in countless ways –

building on our roots in Korea to become the largest international

adoption and child welfare organization serving children and

families in countries around the world.

Through it all, and because of her belief in God’s calling, Molly

has remained in Korea, caring for homeless and disabled children

at the Ilsan Center. Here, Molly has not only carried on the legacy

of her parents; she has helped to realize their vision of a nurtur-

ing, long and short-term care home for

children with special needs.

I first met Molly on a Christmas

trip to Korea in 2004, when I was

a new staff member at Holt. I will

never forget how excited she was

to show me around Ilsan and

to introduce me to the children in care. I will also never forget

Molly’s smile – a smile in which you can truly see the love of Jesus.

Throughout her life, Molly has worked tirelessly to advocate for

children with mental and physical disabilities. Because of Molly,

many of these children have received the specialized care they

need to join loving families of their own. Today, hundreds of fami-

lies adopt children with special needs every year from countries

around the world. But long before it was common, Molly actively

sought families for the children who others considered “unadopt-

able.” Like her parents before her, Molly helped change the culture

of adoption by showing that every child is equally worthy of love

and acceptance. That every child can love, and be loved, and be

part of a family.

Molly has taught me to put my faith into action. She shows such

love, compassion and respect to every resident of Ilsan – from the

children who pass briefly through her care before joining adoptive

families, to the long-term residents who live out their lives at this

world-renowned facility for the disabled that Molly helped create.

We hope the heartwarming stories shared in this issue of the

magazine help to show our love and appreciation for Molly. But

perhaps the best way to truly honor Molly is not with praise or

recognition. Molly has always believed that she is merely doing

the work she has been called to do. Perhaps the best way to honor

Molly is by continually seeking new and innovative ways to serve

orphaned and vulnerable children, especially those so close to her

heart – the children with special needs.

Although many more children joining adoptive families today

have special medical or developmental needs, many others con-

tinue to wait – and not all of them in homes as nurturing as the

Ilsan Center. And not just children with moderate to severe needs

wait for families. In Korea, recent changes to the adoption process

have made it increasingly difficult to find families for children

with even the most minor needs.

In honor of Molly, please pray for children with special needs.

If you are considering adopting, read about the children featured

in the Waiting Child section of this magazine – or the many more

children on Holt’s online photolisting. And if you are uncertain

about adopting from Korea during this time of change, I ask you

to consider that many children in Korea still need loving families

– and still come home to families every year.

Finally, please pray for Molly, who has been seriously ill. It is an

honor to serve alongside Molly in pursuit of a world where every

child has a loving and secure home.

Phillip Littleton | President & CEO

In Honor of Molly HoltPaying tribute to the woman who taught us that every child can love, and be loved, and be part of a family.

Since the Ilsan Center was founded in 1961, Molly Holt has lovingly cared for children and adults residents of the care center.

Give to the

Molly Holt Fund

for Children With

Special Needs!

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In 1957, we were in dire need of our own childcare center, as the

majority of our children came from other orphanages scattered all

around the city. Because of the distance between the orphanages

and our office, it was very difficult for us to prepare children for

adoption processing. With inadequate public transportation, we

wasted a great deal of time commuting back and forth to these

orphanages. We were all very happy when Mr. Holt completed

our new childcare center for incoming babies and children at

Hyo-chang Park, and we were no longer dependent on the other

orphanages for their care.

As the days passed, more children were admitted to the new

facility – many from orphanages, and others directly from the

birth mothers or relatives of the children. This influx at our newly

built childcare center necessitated additional staff to care for the

children, as well as to handle the continually increasing workload

at the office. The most pressing need was to have someone knowl-

edgeable to prepare accurate child reports in English, as well as to

assist with the care of the children. We had enjoyed the assistance

of a few volunteers from the United States, including a registered

nurse. But she contracted hepatitis and had to return home.

Fortunately, Molly Holt traveled to Korea to join us in the sum-

mer of 1957. She had just graduated from nursing school, and it

was a wonderful relief and welcome news to all of us. Molly was

immediately immersed in the daily chores of the children’s care

Miraculous Tears In March 1956, Harry Holt hired a young Korean man named David Kim to help him build a child care and adoption program in Korea. The following October, Harry’s daughter Molly joined her parents in Korea – where, for many years, she worked alongside David caring for orphaned and abandoned children. Here, David Kim shares some of his favorite memories from the early years in Korea working with his wonderful colleague and friend, Molly Holt.

The WOMAN with

As Holt has grown and expanded through

the years, Molly has provided guidance to

our staff and partners as they developed

programs for children in countries around

the world. But since she first arrived in 1956,

her heart and home has always been — and

always will be — with orphaned, abandoned

and vulnerable children in Korea.

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Miraculous Tears

at the center, and her nursing and other skills were invalu-

able. I was very happy not only to have her assistance, but

also her friendship. We worked together well – readying

the children for adoption – and a strong bond soon devel-

oped between us. Molly has been a wonderful friend and

colleague, as we have served homeless children together

during these past 57 years.

During those early years in Korea, there were many

unforgettable events we experienced together and of

which I have fond memories. I remember that Molly was

not only busy with her responsibilities as a nurse, but also

served as a midwife for the mothers who delivered their babies at

Hyo-chang Park. She was a great help when meeting and talking

with the mothers and relatives who brought their babies or chil-

dren to us for adoption.

When Mr. Holt was back in Oregon, Molly was the only person

who could drive our station wagon – transporting sick babies to

the hospital, or purchasing groceries for the children at the care

center. During the Korean War, many American soldiers fathered

children out of wedlock with single Korean women. Fatherless

and born of mixed race, these children always faced the greatest

prejudice in Korean society. I remember driving around the coun-

try with Molly as we looked for mixed-race children near the mili-

tary camps, visiting homes, and other orphanages

to bring the children back with us to our center.

When these children came into our care, we did

all we could to place them in loving homes.

Molly and I also travelled by train. We fre-

quently rode together on the all-night train from

Busan to Seoul, transporting as many as a dozen

babies at a time. Periodically, Mrs. Hwang at the

Isabella orphanage in Busan called to ask us to

take babies who had been admitted to her orphan-

age during the past week or two. Some of these

abandoned babies were weak and sick, due most

of the time to long exposure to the elements at her

orphanage gate, severe malnutrition, or illness.

She was happy to have these babies adopted into

new homes in the United States, where they would

have a much better chance at life.

RIGHT: Molly in 1959, placing a baby in her adoptive mother’s arms after a long journey

from Korea to the U.S.

RIGHT CENTER: Through the years, Molly has helped make the Ilsan Center in Korea a

world-class model of care for children and adults with disabilities.

BOTTOM RIGHT: The Holt staff in Seoul,

Korea in 1957. Molly sits in the center, beside her father. David Kim sits in the same row,

second to the end on the far right.

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We usually purchased an upper and lower berth, to lay five or

six babies on each bed. Molly and I each stood on either end of

the berth, watching the babies all night. The train would depart

Busan at 8 or 9 in the evening, arriving in Seoul early the next

morning. It was almost a 10-hour trip, but we had to stay awake

to prevent the babies from falling from their beds at sudden

stops or departures. The babies would usually sleep during the

trip, due to the rocking motions of the train, but sometimes they

would wake up crying of hunger, or because of a soiled diaper or

other discomfort. When one baby cried, the other babies would

also wake up and cry at the same time. The crescendo of a dozen

babies crying in unison would fill the car, deafening our ears,

as well as waking the other passengers. We felt sorry for them,

but by and large the other passengers were very sympathetic

toward the babies, especially when they learned that they were

orphans bound for overseas adoption.

Molly and I traveled to any place at any time, wherever there

were babies who needed a family.

Our travels together during those early years were not lim-

ited to the ground. Molly was a great addition and comfort for

me when we escorted children on charter flights to the United

States, and she flew on most of them. We needed a medical

doctor or several nurses on each of our charter flights to look

after the sick babies during the long trip across the ocean. I

could not imagine flying with more than 80-100 babies and older

children on each 28 to 40-hour flight to the United States with-

out nurses or a doctor. The majority of our babies and children

were weak and sick to begin with. Often, the sudden changes

in environment and cabin temperature, as well as the drinking

ABOVE: Reconnecting with Molly, a child adopted from Ilsan shares photos of her life in the U.S. during a 2004 donor team trip to Korea.

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water, induced diarrhea. The cold draft in the airplane cabin and

inadequate heating systems on some of the planes caused the

babies to catch colds, or even pneumonia. We needed someone

knowledgeable about how to treat these conditions.

Each escort was responsible for eight to ten babies and older

children during the flight, feeding them and changing their soiled

diapers. Molly and I were most often responsible for additional

babies and children when any of the other escorts became airsick

or incapacitated during the flights. At each refueling stop – in

places such as Wake Island, Hawaii, or Semiya in the Aleutian

Islands – Molly and I would be busy cleaning the used bottles, and

preparing new ones for the next leg of the flight. These chores,

physical labor, and fatigue we could happily endure. More difficult

for us both was the emotional stress of constantly worrying about

the babies and children’s health and wellbeing. The vast major-

ity of the children arrived safely into the arms of their waiting

adoptive parents. Not all did. One of the most heartbreaking and

indelible memories that Molly and I shared was the death of a

baby during one of the flights.

She was very weak and often sick at the center before the flight,

but we thought the best possible solution for her survival would be

to unite her with her new parents at the earliest day possible. We

were very happy when she was cleared for air travel. Tragically,

during the flight she contracted pneumonia. Molly was holding

this baby on her lap and I was incessantly pumping oxygen to

her mouth from a manual oxygen bottle, but it was to no avail.

Despite our efforts, she succumbed to her illness. Our inability to

save a little baby crushed our hearts. It is an aching that remains

with us both to this day.

My fondest memory of Molly however, is not of her nursing skill,

or her compassion, or her tireless work, but of her propensity to

cry, and of the time those tears brought us a miracle. Behind all

the changes, growth and development at Holt came a new expe-

rience of growing pains. It would be unimaginable to operate a

childcare center with more than 200 children and 70 staff without

an effective communication system. However, that was our situ-

ation when we moved into our new Nokbundong facility. We had

successfully brought in electricity, found a water source, and cre-

ated plenty of space for the children while they awaited departure

to the United States. But the lack of a telephone created inconve-

niences beyond description. It was like working in the dark ages,

shipping goods by oxcart. Since the new center was located at the

outskirts of town, we had to walk a couple miles to even use a

public telephone. One of our staff members had to practically be

Although through the years Molly has taken on leadership positions at the Ilsan Center in

Korea, she has always kept a hands-on role with the children and adult residents at the center

— providing a nurturing touch and constant reminder that every child is wanted and loved.

Page 8: July—August issue 2013

a liaison person between our office and the public telephone. We

did not realize the absence of a phone would create such havoc.

We contacted the telephone company to transfer our former

phone service from the Hyochang Park Center, but they said it

could not be done because no telephone lines had been installed

in our area. The nearest telephone line was at the quail farm,

several blocks from us. I made several trips to the telephone com-

pany, begging for a line to be installed to our center. I told them of

our dire need for a telephone. We not only had a childcare center

with hundreds of children, but also operated a clinic and a hospi-

tal. We needed the phone for emergency situations. They reiter-

ated that their hands were tied. It was beyond their control, they

said. They were unable to install any new telephone lines because

they were already operating at maximum capacity.

A telephone was the most critical item for us next to electricity

and water. Somehow, we had to bring in telephone service to our

new facility. Of course, this was not the first time we encountered

a seemingly unsolvable predicament. God had always delivered

us in the past. I knew, somehow, there would be an answer to our

efforts and prayers.

I decided to pay a visit to the Ministry of Communications to

appeal our case, as telephone and communication matters were

under their jurisdiction. Molly and I went together. As a foreigner,

it was easier for her to get an appointment with a high ranking

official, especially as the daughter of Mr. Harry Holt. We first went

to see the director general of a bureau that oversees installation

UPPER: Molly surrounded by her siblings and extended family at Holt’s 50th anniversary celebration in Eugene, Oregon.

LOWER: Molly at Holt’s 50th anniversary with Lata Joshi, former executive director of BSSK, one of Holt’s legacy partners in India.

Page 9: July—August issue 2013

I kept telling Molly that the tears at Minister Lee’s office were some of the most precious and timely tears she’d ever shed. They

were the tears that saved the lives of hundreds of children.

of telephone lines, but they weren’t able to help us. They gave the

identical answer we heard earlier from the local people. We then

made a formal request to meet with the minister himself, but our

request was not granted – not immediately. First we had to talk

with others below him. They all assured us it would be useless to

meet with the minister. He would be unable to do anything about

the basic shortage of telephone lines in the country. But we per-

sisted, and we managed to see him at last!

The minister was a retired army lieutenant general named Lee,

Eung-joon. He was a kindly old gentleman who seemed happy to

see us. I explained our unusual circumstances and the predica-

ment we were in. I pointed out to him that the quail farm just a

few blocks away was blessed with telephone service, but a charity

organization caring for hundreds of war orphans had to go with-

out. While I was pleading with Minister Lee, Molly sat next to me

wiping her tears. At times, the minister’s attention was directed

more toward Molly’s tears than my pleas. He kept looking at Molly

each time she wiped her cheeks. He had never seen an American

woman crying before him and he seemed quite concerned. He had

heard about the millionaire lumberman from Oregon who came

to Korea to help our war orphans. It was a wonderful humanitar-

ian service. He summoned his secretary to his office and ordered

him to install a new telephone line to our center!

Molly and I were ecstatic at the sudden windfall of good fortune.

I had begun to believe it was an impossible mountain to move. We

kept saying, “Thank you, Minister Lee. Thank you very much,

Minister Lee.” Molly’s tears were streaming down her cheeks. Her

voice of gratitude cracked with obvious emotion.

Minister Lee told us they were releasing one of the phone lines

reserved for emergency use. On our way home, Molly and I offered

our thanks to the Lord for delivering us again from an impossible

situation. On several occasions, I noticed Molly cried easily. I was

always concerned, thinking I might have done something wrong

or hurt her feelings. But I found out she cried for no particular

reason — tears for all occasions. I kept telling Molly that the

tears at Minister Lee’s office were some of the most precious and

timely tears she’d ever shed. They were the tears that saved the

lives of hundreds of children. The next day, crews from the local

telephone office came to our center and installed a new telephone

line, temporarily using the electrical poles until a permanent

facility was installed in the area.

Dr. David H. Kim | Holt President Emeritus

RIGHT: Molly’s house at Ilsan is the last remaining structure that Harry Holt

built in the 1960’s. Today, it serves not only as Molly’s

home, but in many ways as the heart of the center.

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adoptees today

When I was asked to write

about Molly Holt, I felt hon-

ored. Molly is a special woman

who has dedicated her life to

the Ilsan Center in Korea –

helping to improve the lives of

those who have mental and/or

physical disabilities, and hope-

fully, placing them with adop-

tive families. She has changed

the lives of so many children

through the years.

Molly has had a big influence on my life as well.

At Ilsan, I was fortunate to be one of those children cared for by

Molly Holt. I came into care when I was about 4 years old, after I

was found wandering the streets alone. I was placed in the “Love

Home,” where Molly was my housemother. She cared for me for

the next 6 months, bridging the gap between my birth mother

and my parents.

Although too young to remember much from my time in Molly’s

care, our paths would cross again when I started working at Holt

International. While visiting from Korea, Molly came into the

office one afternoon about five years ago. Seeing me, the first

words out of her mouth were, "Gosh, you’re short." Having dwarf-

ism and only standing three feet tall, I’ve heard that statement a

lot – but was still a little shocked that Molly started the conversa-

tion that way. Taken aback, I replied, "Why yes, I guess I am." She

went on to say that she was my housemother and she distinctly

remembered me from Ilsan. When asked how she remembered

me out of all the children she had cared for – especially since 16

years had passed since we last saw each other – she bluntly said,

"Well, there aren't many people that short who come into the

orphanage."

Even though I was caught off guard by Molly's first comments, I

look back on it with great fondness. I think it really shows Molly's

character. She doesn't hide behind what’s politically correct, but

addresses those unique differences and then warms your heart

because she sees them as a special quality about you. I was really

struck by how she remembered me out of all the children who

had come through Ilsan. That conversation was one of the first

times I had ever thought about my time in Korea. It brought up

some emotions, as Molly gave me a couple of pieces to my early

life in Korea.

I don't think I fully knew the impact Molly had on my life and

the lives of so many children until I traveled to Korea on a heri-

tage tour in December 2011 – my first trip back since my adoption

in 1990. Throughout the week, I saw bits and pieces of my time at

the orphanage. I visited with my physical therapist, my doctor and

my teachers. To reconnect with these amazing people made me

realize what a blessing it was that I stayed at Ilsan.

During the tour, I got to see the remarkable facilities for the

residents at Ilsan. I also got to observe Molly in action. Molly knew

every single child and treated them with so much love. During

the visit, I watched and listened as she would ask how this or that

child was doing, and then shift gears to tell us about another child

who had a major medical condition she was praying would be

cured. As I listened to Molly talk about these children, I could eas-

ily put myself in their place – because I was exactly in their place

22 years ago. You could really see that these children – children

who are outcasts in their society – are Molly's life and passion.

Like me, these children are often referred to as "special needs"

children. But I don't think Molly sees any "need" in the children

at Ilsan. I think all she sees is the special part of every child.

So what does Molly Holt mean to me?

I think everyone knows what a special woman Molly Holt is,

and how she has dedicated her life to the mission her parents

began over 57 years ago when they founded Holt International.

But I want to tell you what this wonderful human being means to

me. Molly Holt will always be the woman who gave me love when

I was at my weakest. She provided me with nurturing care while I

waited for my forever family. I truly believe there are not enough

kind words to express how sincere and special Molly Holt is.

As thousands of children who have passed through – and still

remain – at Ilsan can attest, Molly provided unyielding love to all

of us. But it goes beyond just children in the care of Molly Holt.

All parents of children at Ilsan – by both adoption and birth – owe

Molly Holt a huge thank you. She was their children’s mother

during the time they were in her care. Molly could have chosen

an easier path to follow, but she let her heart guide her. The heart

of Molly Holt has blessed thousands upon thousands of the most

at-risk children in Korea.

She has etched herself in my heart, in my life, and I will be

eternally grateful for the love of Molly Holt.

Jordan Love | Eugene, Oregon

The Woman Who Blessed a Thousand Children

Before he joined his adoptive family in the U.S., Holt adoptee Jordan Love stayed for a time in Molly Holt’s care at the Ilsan Center in Korea – a time for which he will always be grateful.

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adoptees todayThe Woman Who Serves in FaithHolt adoptee and former Holt board member Steven Stirling reflects on Molly Holt’s many years of service to children. Steven lived at the Ilsan Center in Korea before he was adopted in 1966, at the age of 11.

Molly Holt is the perfect example of a faithful servant of our

Lord. My first memory of Molly is from her mother’s book about

Holt’s beginnings, Seed from the East. Molly was in nursing school

in 1956 when her parents, Harry and Bertha Holt, began the Holt

adoption program in Korea. At the time, she could not help care

for the orphans, but I recall from the book that Molly told her

parents as soon as she finished nursing school, she would work

to help orphaned, abandoned and vulnerable children in Korea.

Molly was true to her words. More than 56 years after she made

this commitment, she continues to serve “the least of these” – the

disabled children in care at Ilsan.

I didn't have the chance to spend much time with Molly until

her mom, Grandma Holt, passed in 2000, and my wife and I trav-

eled to Ilsan for Grandma's life celebration.

Here at Ilsan, I remember that Molly shared her room with

several disabled women, who she cared for. Many current and

former residents have stayed at Molly’s house. She often cares

for residents who are sick, or nearing the end of their life, as well

as those who are profoundly disabled. And just about every child

who enters care at Ilsan will first stay at her house before moving

to another residence. During our visit, Molly’s house was always

bustling with activity, as many residents gathered to talk and

share stories. True to character, Molly graciously welcomed every-

one who stopped for a visit. They are her family.

During our time together, Molly’s heart was very heavy. Her

mom was tremendously well respected in Korea, and local officials

treated her as though she were a head of state. The celebration of

her life came with much fanfare. Numerous political personnel

attended, including the first lady of Korea. Molly wanted to keep

to her mom's wishes to give the glory to our Lord Jesus for what

He had accomplished through the Holts – and not to give the glory

to her mom. But naturally, in Korea, Bertha Holt is an iconic fig-

ure! The planned services would definitely glorify Grandma Holt.

Molly’s heart was heavy, as she struggled with how to observe her

mom’s wishes. At the end, she gracefully and diplomatically asked

several of her mom’s old friends to speak. They spoke of our Lord's

faithfulness through Bertha. And when it came time for her to

speak, Molly – clothed in humility – gave the glory to Jesus Christ

our Lord and what He did through her parents.

My final reflection about Molly continues to this day. My wife

and I have had the opportunity to travel to Ilsan five to six times

since 2000, when we celebrated Bertha's homecoming. One of the

things I always look forward to when traveling to Ilsan is visiting

with my childhood friends in Molly's residence. It feels almost

like I’m coming home during these visits, when we sit surrounded

by volunteers who quietly provide lunch and feed the residents

who are unable to feed themselves. While I have forgotten how to

speak Korean, Molly speaks both Korean and English and is com-

fortable going between languages. In these moments of sharing

stories and old memories, we often turn to the faithfulness of our

Lord Jesus and what He has done for us.

For me, Molly is the perfect example of a “faithful servant.” As

it says in Isaiah 43: 5-7, “Fear not: for I am with thee: I will bring

thy seed from the east, and gather thee from the west; I will say

to the north, Give up; and to the south, Keep not back: bring my

sons from far, and my daughters from the ends of the earth; Even

every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my

glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.” These are our

Lord's words. Harry and Bertha Holt and their daughter Molly are

faithful servants. Today, Molly continues to serve our Lord and

glorify Him who made all this possible. It is a blessing for me to

be called His child – and a friend of Molly Holt.

Steven Stirling | Richmond, Virginia

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No matter how your children come into your life, you never

forget the day you are able touch them for the first time. October

15, 2004 was the day I first met my daughter BaiYu. She definitely

did NOT want me to touch her!

Then 26 months old, BaiYu’s “special need” was albinism – a

genetic condition in which the body does not create the expected

amount of pigment. This lack of pigment also causes low vision

and nystagmus, an involuntary movement of the eyes. Instead of

the typical Chinese features – tan skin, dark eyes and black hair –

BaiYu had pale skin, beautiful hazel eyes that swung slowly back

and forth, and short strawberry blond hair. I always laugh when

I look at the picture on our adoption decree – me with a look of

blissful love, and BaiYu, beet red and screaming open-mouthed at

the top of her lungs!

As we spent more time together in China, I began to understand

why BaiYu looked so sad in all the pictures I received of her prior

to traveling. Miserable was BaiYu’s standard state of existence.

She was frightened of absolutely everything – elevators, dolls,

stuffed animals, the stroller, cars, banana bread, crowds, closed-

in places, and anyone wearing lab coats. Everything was met with

that now famous, opened-mouth scream of hers. Only later would

I learn why BaiYu lived in such constant fear.

Once home in the U.S., BaiYu had to deal with sharing Mama

with her older brother, Talen, age 7 at the time, and her sister, Mya,

only 4 months older than BaiYu. She still didn’t like me at that

point, but she didn’t want to share me either. She would scream

and cry every day when I left for work, be fine while I was gone, and

then scream and cry for hours after I returned – just to let me know

how she felt about my leaving. BaiYu also came home with a lot of

orphanage behaviors such as biting, punching, and food-grabbing/

hoarding. These behaviors took a good long time to overcome.

Poor Mya bore the brunt of BaiYu’s abuse. Thankfully, Mya has

always been wise and understanding beyond her years. Don’t get

me wrong, the girls would often have a good time together, but

you were never quite sure what would set BaiYu off. It started to

feel like she enjoyed negative attention more than she did posi-

tive. It was almost like BaiYu simply

didn’t care who she hurt or what

she had to do to get what she

wanted. BaiYu was extremely

manipulative of any situation,

always wanting to have the

last word or make everything

about her. She would copy her

sister’s ideas and try to destroy

her siblings’ things because she

couldn’t have them. It got to

the point where BaiYu was

spending more time in

trouble than she was

playing and living life.

At the suggestion

of a dear friend of

mine – who is also

a school counselor

and fellow adoptive

mom – we started

play therapy right

before BaiYu turned

4 years old. She had

lived through simi-

lar behaviors with

her daughter, who she

Playing From The HeartAfter a two-year struggle with anxious attachment, Holt adoptive mom Lisa Fisher began play therapy with her daughter BaiYu – helping them both learn coping skills, and bringing out the fantastic, caring daughter and sister BaiYu is today.

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adopted as a 4-year-old from Russia. Through play therapy, her

daughter made great strides in her behavior – even before she had

developed much of her English skills. By chance, we happened

to find a counselor well-versed in play therapy and attachment

in adopted children, who was also originally from Hong Kong.

Play therapy helped illustrate how anxiously attached BaiYu

was to me. She would constantly draw pictures of and about me,

and talk about me during the play sessions like I wasn’t quite

real – as though I might disappear at any time. She saw her sister

and brother as threats and didn’t understand why they were still

nice to her when she was mean to them on purpose. Through

these sessions, I also discovered why some things caused her such

extreme fear. Many of these things reminded her of abuse she

endured early in life – prior to my becoming her mother.

At home, we worked a lot on positive reinforcement of good

behaviors; we encouraged her to be kind all of the time. The

toughest thing we had to do was not react when she misbehaved.

I would quietly remove her from the situation, tell her why she

was being moved, make her sit by herself so she could see us, and

go about our playing/business calmly while she raised the roof

screaming. When she was quiet, she could come back and join

us. As we would play or act out something, we would talk about

how certain parts of it would make us feel. As time went on, the

tantrums happened less frequently. We would laugh more, and

cry less.

Through it all, BaiYu was able to understand she was stuck

with us forever. She saw that I kept her and her siblings safe and

that I loved them all no matter what. BaiYu discovered everyone

was happier, including herself, when she was kind to her siblings

instead of trying to compete with them for everything. Her sib-

lings, understandably, took a little while to decide if this was the

“real” BaiYu or not. But eventually, they came to realize that this

BaiYu was here to stay.

I knew it was time to discontinue play therapy when BaiYu took

a little boy in her preschool under her wing and used the same

techniques that she learned in her therapy sessions to keep him

calm during class. She would engage him in play and help him

work out his frustrations. BaiYu always had an uncanny ability to

know when he was about to tantrum and figured out how to keep

it from escalating – so much so that his mother requested they be

put in the same classroom from then on! They met in preschool.

They are now in 5th grade. He says he will marry her some day,

but BaiYu says, “Absolutely NOT!”

Sometimes, when my daughters are laughing hysterically

together or are coming up with these crazy rhymes in the back-

seat about what great sisters they are, I pinch myself. I think back

to those tough early days and marvel at the close relationship

they have now. They couldn’t be more different – Mya, the shy/

serious one, and BaiYu, the loud/goofy one – yet they love each

other so fiercely now. At age 10-and-a-half, BaiYu is a fantastic

student, an accomplished pianist, and an elite athlete. There is

nothing physical she cannot master at an accelerated rate. She is

a power tumbler, skipped three levels in gymnastics in 2 years,

and switched to dance during the last school year so she could

get more of a challenge. Above all else, she is a fantastic, caring

person who adores her family with all of her heart. And we adore

her just the same.

Lisa Fisher | Des Moines, Iowa

LEFT: In her first two years home, BaiYu did not want to share her mom with her older brother, Talen, and sister, Mya. Today, Mya, 11, and BaiYu, 10, create rhymes about what great sisters they are.

BELOW: BaiYu at age 3. When she first came home, BaiYu was always miserable, says Lisa. Today, she is such a happy girl, she is always smiling!

Page 14: July—August issue 2013

from the field

“What happens to the children who are not matched?”

In my six years at Holt, this is one of the most thought-provok-

ing and haunting questions I ever received.

Not until recently – on a trip to the Philippines – did I find an

answer.

Six months ago, I transitioned from Holt’s waiting child pro-

gram to the S.E. Asia adoption program, which includes the

Philippines. This May, I finally had the opportunity to visit the

Philippines.

Here, the answer to that haunting question had been waiting

for me all along.

I knew of Holt’s Independent Living and Educational Assistance

(ILEA) program long before visiting. Seeing it in person, though, is

something altogether different. It affects you to the core, and you

think about it long after you return.

Here, I saw the genuine hopefulness of the young adults in the

program. They never joined adoptive families of their own. But

through ILEA, they have a makeshift family to support them.

The ILEA program is managed by Kaisahang Buhay Foundation

(KBF), Holt’s partner agency in the Philippines. Holt helped to

found KBF in the 1970s. In the years since, KBF has developed

an impressive array of Holt-supported services for children and

families, including family and community outreach, sponsor-

ship, a single mothers’ home, day care, nutritional support,

foster care, and ILEA. KBF thinks of the child every step of

the way – from the womb to adulthood – always striving

toward the goal of helping the child remain in or find a

permanent family. The ILEA program is a natural exten-

sion of that thought. KBF devel-

oped this program for children

who never do find permanent,

loving families, providing for

them an informal family of

other teens in the same situa-

tion and of the KBF staff them-

selves. Through KBF and Holt,

the scholars receive support for

everything from tuition and

A Family of ScholarsWhile visiting Holt’s ILEA program in the Philippines, Holt’s director of adoption services for Southeast Asia finds a hopeful answer to the question: what happens to children who don’t find families?

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from the field

school supplies to food, medical care,

transportation and job search assis-

tance. Currently, the ILEA program is

composed of 19 “scholars” – age 16-22

– many of whom are in college. They do

not have house parents or someone to

buy groceries and do their laundry. This

is truly an independent living program,

in which they are accountable primarily

to each other.

Listening to the KBF staff talk about for-

mer ILEA scholars -- now ILEA graduates --

and their successes in life, you would have

thought they were speaking of their own

children or grandchildren. ILEA scholars go

on to get advanced degrees, get married and

have children. And they often stay in touch

with their KBF family.

While in the program, some of the schol-

ars stay at the KBF office, closer to their college, so they get the

chance to interact with the staff on a more frequent and informal

basis. Those interested in business or nonprofit work also get to

see how an office runs. One of these scholars couldn’t help but

sneak over to ask me questions as I was eating my dinner one

night at the office. “Where are you from?” he asked. “Do you like

basketball? Who is your favorite NBA team?” To his dismay, the

Lakers had recently been knocked out of the playoffs.

This young man is ready for his last year of college, where he

is studying community development. He is spending his sum-

mer volunteering at some of KBF’s other programs. One day,

he could be working at KBF -- a thought that has crossed his

mind. In fact, during my visit, I was surprised to learn that an

ILEA graduate had been in my midst the whole time! He now

works as KBF’s IT specialist.

During ILEA’s second anniversary at their current location,

I was able to see all the scholars sing, dance and share their

dreams for the future. I also met a benefactor of sorts. She owns

the building where the scholars live, which she provides rent-free.

She also visits the scholars every Saturday for a Bible study. As we

were discussing what a wonderful program we support, she asked

me how many similar programs Holt has in the other countries

where we work. I knew the answer immediately, but I racked my

brain for a few seconds just in case. Then, I confidently answered,

“None.” Although Holt does have programs in

other countries to provide vocational training and other

services for children who come of age in care – such as those at

the extraordinary Ilsan Center in Korea – the ILEA program is

truly a unique and model program for children who were never

placed in a family. Finally, they have a non-traditional family of

their own.

Jessica Palmer | Director of Adoption Services, Southeast Asia

LEFT: ILEA scholars live together in independent group housing while working toward high school diplomas or college degrees.

RIGHT: Although they've never been placed in adoptive families of their own, the 19 ILEA scholars are like family to each other. They share household chores, meals and often perform songs and dances together as a group.

Page 16: July—August issue 2013

from the family

I journeyed to South Korea in August of 2006 to pick up our

3-year-old son, AntonYong, and in May of 2008 for our 2-year-old

son, AndrewTae. What do our two sons have in common? They

both lived with Molly Holt for their first month at Ilsan, Holt’s

care center in Korea, before moving into one of the care homes.

On each of my trips to Korea to pick up our boys, I was able

to stay at Ilsan. What a great experience. The highlight of each

stay was being able to visit with Molly Holt. Eating breakfast with

her every morning, sometimes lunch and dinner, was a great way

to start the day. During our visits Molly would tell many stories

about her childhood growing up with her family, as well as memo-

ries of her time in Korea, living at Ilsan, and caring for all the

residents there.

Both of my sons arrived at Ilsan with many special needs.

AntonYong was hypotonic -- a condition characterized by

decreased muscle tone. He was also mentally delayed, did not

speak, had abnormal chromosomes, and needed assistance to

complete everyday tasks. AndrewTae was mentally delayed,

lacked speech, and was not eating food due to severe gagging and

vomiting. Even though my boys had all these needs, Molly never

hesitated to take them into her home and care for them for about

six weeks. After two weeks, she had AndrewTae eating solid food.

Both boys received special services at Ilsan such as physical, occu-

pational and speech therapy. Caregivers even took AndrewTae

to the Gymboree play center one day a week for extra physical

therapy and to help improve his coordination.

While staying at Ilsan, I witnessed Molly and her work. Molly

has residents who actually live permanently in her home and

seeing the outstanding care and love she gives them is truly

heartwarming. Molly is caring, loving, kind and dedicated to her

work caring for the residents

at Ilsan. You can truly see how

much she loves her work.

The transition from Ilsan to

coming home with my boys

went very well. Their attach-

ment to our family and adjust-

ment into our home was very

smooth, which we attribute to

the preparation Molly and the Ilsan caregivers provided the boys

before they came home to us.

Well before the boys left Korea, Molly and the boys’ house-

mothers explained what was going to happen. They showed them

the picture books we made for each son featuring photos of our

family, home and the bedroom they would be sleeping in. To help

them grow comfortable with me, Molly and the housemothers

also allowed me to spend as much time with the boys as possible

while still at Ilsan. I joined them at meal times. I took them out for

one-on-one time, gave them baths, brushed their teeth, got them

dressed, and tucked them into bed. This helped ease their attach-

ment with me before we began our journey home.

Before we left, the staff at Ilsan – including Molly – threw a

going away party for each of the boys.

Today, AntonYong and AndrewTae have made many strides

and have overcome many of their special needs. AntonYong is

now 9 years old and attending a fourth grade class for cogni-

tively impaired children. He has gotten much stronger physically,

has made good progress with his speech, and is even reading!

AntonYong plays baseball and loves doing puzzles. His future

is still unknown as far as his delays go, but for now, he is doing

great!

AndrewTae is now 7 years old and attending a language learn-

ing disabled class in the first grade and has excelled rapidly. He

has more than caught up with his delay in speech, as he never

stops talking and he is a great eater! AndrewTae plays baseball

and his favorite thing to do is play with his Beyblades and Star

Wars toys.

I will be forever grateful for Molly Holt giving my sons the best

care at Ilsan. Her dedication to her work is outstanding. I am

honored to know her.

by Kristine Piu | Beachwood, New Jersey

A Month With MollyHolt adoptive mom Kristine Piu has adopted two boys with special needs from the Ilsan Center in Korea. Both are now thriving. Both began their journey at Molly’s House.

TOP: Molly Holt in 2005, when AntonYong Piu was still in care at Ilsan.

LEFT: The Piu Family: Kristine and Sal with children AdamJae, 13, AidanMin, 10, AvaChae, 8, AntonYong, 10, and AndrewTae, 7 (all adopted from South Korea).

Page 17: July—August issue 2013

FridgeFridgeFridge

[1] Alexis Rockefeller, 5 (Korea)—Honolulu, HI

[2] Braxton and Jinky with children Zechariah, 8,

and Roann Kieft, 3 (Philippines)—Palatine, IL

[3] Owen Hazzard, 2 (Ethiopia)—Omaha, NE

[4] Sarah, 15, with sisters Deanna “Tanuja,” 8,

and Hannah “Sweety” Chapman, 9 (both from

India)—Grover Beach, CA

[5] Cole Helsel, 2 (Korea)—Rockaway, NJ

[6] Jarod, 10, and Bethany Zaleski, 5 (China)—

Mildenhall AFB, England

Mail original color prints to:

Holt International magazine

P.O. Box 2880, Eugene, OR 97402

or upload digital photos at

holtinternational.org/submissions

[1]

[3]

[2]

[4]

[5]

[6]

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Holt Family PicnicsJoin Holt staff, families and friends at upcoming picnics across the U.S.! Holt family picnics are a great opportunity to connect – or reconnect – with other adoptive families and adoptees. If you are considering adoption, Holt picnics are also a great way to meet and ask questions of experienced adoptive families in a casual, fun atmosphere. They are also just a fun way to spend an afternoon with your kids! Check out the dates and locations on the neighborhood calendar below, and register online at http://www.holtinternational.org/picnics/.

Karyn Williams to Appear at New Jersey GalaThis year’s New Jersey Gala and Dinner Auction will take place on September 28th in Princeton, New Jersey. All proceeds will benefit the Special Needs Adoption Fund, which helps families overcome the financial barriers that often come with adopting a child with special needs. As a special treat, Christian music artist Karyn Williams and her husband, composer Brian White, will perform at the event! Visit karynwilliams.com/adoption/ to learn more about Karyn’s connection to adoption and to Holt.

Join Holt’s Vision Trip to India!Are you a Holt child sponsor? Adoptive family or adult adoptee? A Holt donor, or just someone who is interested in Holt's work and wants to learn more? Then this trip is for you! Holt created vision trips to give our supporters the opportunity to travel with us, see our programs, and meet the children and families we serve overseas.

Join us for our next vision trip – to India – in November 2013!

The deadline to sign up is Labor Day, September 2nd. But hurry to secure your spot, as the trip may fill up much sooner. For more information:

http://www.holtinternational.org/tours/india/vision.

updates

CALIFORNIAJuly 28-August 1, 2013, Camp Rockin U—Holt Adoptee Camp

for adoptees 9-16 years old (day camp is July 31)IOWASeptember 22, Eldridge—Holt Family Picnic at Scott County

Park, 11 AM – 3 PM

GEORGIAJuly 21-25, 2013, Calvin Center—Holt Adoptee Camp for adoptees 9-16 years old

October 20, Metro Atlanta-Marietta—Holt Family Picnic at Lutheran Church of the Resurrection, 3 PM – 6 PMNEBRASKA

July 13, Omaha—Holt Family Picnic at Cooper Memorial Farm, 11 AM – 3 PM

NEW JERSEY August 4-9, 2013, Camp Louemma—Holt Adoptee Camp for

adoptees 9-16 years old (day camp is August 8)September 28, 2013, Princeton—Gala Dinner and Auction to benefit the Special Needs Adoption Fund. Westin Princeton at Forrestal Village, 5:30 PM

OREGONAugust 3, Eugene—Holt Family Picnic at Camp Harlow, 11 AM – 3 PM

November 9, Portland—Gala Dinner and Auction benefit-ting children in Holt’s care in Korea. Portland Marriott Downtown Waterfront, 5:30 PM

Get the Info:For Holt Adoptee Camp and Family Picnic information, contact:

Pame Chow at [email protected] Events information, contact: Shonna Wells at [email protected] Holt Heritage and Adult Adoptee Tour information, con-tact: Sara Higgins for China tours: [email protected] Paul Kim for Korea tours: [email protected] Courtney Young for adult adoptee tours: [email protected] Vision Trip information, contact: Sally Dougherty at [email protected]

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Jaylen Born 10.8.11, N.E. Asia

Jaylen is an adorable boy who was born at 37 weeks. During Jaylen’s January well-baby examination, it was apparent that he was uncomfortable moving his lef t hand. An MRI revealed Jaylen has Rt. Pachygyria, caus-ing him dif ficulty keeping his balance when he walks quickly. He has weaker power in his lef t hand, but it doesn’t keep him from picking up toys and playing. Jaylen receives physical therapy twice a week. He can walk alone, grasp objects between his thumb and fingers, put blocks in cups and remove his socks with his right hand. Jaylen welcomes his foster family with a bow and opens his arms when they return home. Jaylen is in need of a family that can provide him with any medical care he may need.

Nathan Born 3.4.02, S.E. Asia

Nathan is a handsome boy with an infectious smile who is in need of a family. He came into care as an infant and is currently thriving in his foster family. His foster parents are American, so Nathan is gaining exposure to English. He has a history of pneumonia, TB and respiratory failure, which required multiple hospital stays when he was younger. Nathan requires the use of an inhaler daily. Otherwise, he is a healthy boy and his fine and gross motor skills are well devel-oped. Although somewhat behind academically, he is an independent child who can complete tasks without help. Since living with his foster family, he has become more self-confident, though he is sensitive and can get upset when teased. The right family for Nathan will have experience in parenting, access to medical services, and the patience to help him transition to a new life.

Elizabeth Born 12.5.09, N.E. Asia

Elizabeth was born at about 32 weeks and at less than 4 pounds. She is currently in a positive institutional environment, though she was in foster care until March 2011. She is doing well developmentally, and she loves playing with other children and with toys. Elizabeth was under incubator treatment for about two months af ter birth. During hospitalization, she developed a mass on her cheek due to a congenital infection, which may require plastic surgery in the future. This little girl also has been noted to have gingival hyperplasia, partial syndactyly and polydactyly of her right foot, f lexion of thumbs, a sacral dimple, and a small Atrial Septal Defect. Elizabeth receives regular therapy focused on sensory training and hand function, and has made great improvements. She is attending preschool and is able to walk and run. Elizabeth is also improving in her speech development. She is described as a bright and charming child who has developed good relationships with both her caregivers and other children. She is in need of a family that has access to the medical resources she needs and is comfortable with a potential genetic syndrome.

Sam, Percy and PennBorn 2004, 2006 & 2008, S.E. Asia

These three siblings are waiting for a family that is prepared to adopt an older sibling group. The middle brother was the first to come into care in 2008, with high fever, poor development, malnourishment and tuberculosis, and was provided medication, stimulation and a nutrition program. He has made great strides in school. He has good social skills and likes all kinds of games and activities. The older sister and youngest brother came into care in 2011 in similar physical condi-tion to their brother, and were placed in a group home near their brother’s foster home. The youngest can do a 9-piece jigsaw puzzle, dress himself, and play well with friends. The older sister is described as a healthy, happy child who loves to study and read library books. Because of their dif ficult start in life, these children will thrive in a family open to unknowns, prepared for extended grief and loss, and experienced with adoption/foster care and parenting past age nine. The ideal family will also have a good understanding of issues related to older child and sibling adoption.

waiting childrenThese and other children need

adoptive families

For more information on adopting these and

other waiting children, contact Erin Anderson

at [email protected]

w w w.holtinternational.org/waiting-

child/photolisting

Sam, Percy & Penn

Elizabeth

Nathan

Jaylen

Page 20: July—August issue 2013

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