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quoteQuotes About Funny

Quotes tagged as "funny" (showing 181-210 of 3,000)Jess C. ScottThose sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.

Good things come to those who wait. Jess C. Scott, The Interntags: desire, funny, honesty, humor, humour, love, lust, passion, relationships, romance, sex, truth, wisdom, young, young-adult, young-adults, youth 930 likes LikeWilliam GoldmanI am your Prince and you will marry me," Humperdinck said.Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse.""I am you Prince and you cannot refuse.""I am your loyal servant and I just did.""Refusal means death.""Kill me then. William Goldman, The Princess Bridetags: funny, humor, marriage 555 likes LikeGena ShowalterTo answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome. Gena Showalter, Heart of Darknesstags: funny, humor 537 likes LikeJarod KintzI want to scream sometimes, because I hate when people refer to a dead person as the late so and so. Im sorry to break that bad news, but that person isnt just latetheyre not even coming! Jarod Kintz, I Want Two apply for a job at our country's largest funeral home, and then wear a suit and noose to the job interview.tags: bad-news, dead, death, funny, hate, late, scream 496 likes LikeJerry LewisI've had great success being a total idiot. Jerry Lewistags: funny, humor, idiot, jerry, lewis, success 484 likes LikeDenis LearyAll men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER. Denis Learytags: beer, funny, men 460 likes LikeJarod KintzWhen I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream, I saw the future. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: clone, funny, future, humor, love, lust, naked 423 likes LikeJohn GreenHarry Potter isnt real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I dont know who you are or what your name is or where youre from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potters real and youre not. John Greentags: funny, harry-potter, reality 417 likes LikeJarod KintzI hate fake people. You know what Im talking about. Mannequins. Jarod Kintz, This is the story my great-grandfather told my father, who then told my grandfather, who then told me about how The Mythical Mr. Boo, Charles Manseur Fizzlebush Grissham III, better known as Mr. Fizzlebush, and Orafoura are all in fact me...tags: fake-people, funny, mannequins 416 likes LikeJarod KintzI want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: funny, future, sleep, time-machine 393 likes LikeJarod KintzWe cant be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since youre a lady, and Im a gentleman, Ill shave mine off. Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.tags: absurd, funny, gentleman, humor, love, lovers, mustache 384 likes LikeJarod KintzMy girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I dont get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: animals, birthday, dog, dogs, funny, girlfriend, love, pet, pets, relationships, walk 378 likes LikeJeaniene FrostJuan gave Bones the most admiring look hed bestowed on him yet. You talked her into going without panties all these years? Madre de Dios, now thats impressive. I could learn a great deal from you, amigo. Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Gravetags: funny 378 likes LikeJarod KintzThe truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt. Jarod Kintztags: funny, nipple, simile, truth 373 likes LikeJarod KintzLove is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: absurd, bicycle, breakfast, exercise, funny, humor, love, pancakes 348 likes LikeCharlaine HarrisVampires. They wrote the book on possessive. Charlaine Harris, Dead to the Worldtags: funny, sookie-eric 332 likes LikeJess C. ScottMy headll explode if I continue with this escapism. Jess C. Scott, EyeLeash: A Blog Noveltags: body, books, cool, culture, desire, emotion, friendship, funny, girl, honesty, humor, humour, imagination, individuality, life, love, music, novel, passion, reality, relationships, romance, self, sex, technology, truth, wisdom, young, youth 322 likes LikeJarod KintzSome people try to change the world one life at a time. Others try to change the world one death at a time. And I try to change the world one bucket full of dirt at a time. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: change, death, funny, hope, humor, life, strange 316 likes LikeJennifer L. ArmentroutOh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes! Dee shrieked. My eyes! Jennifer L. Armentrout, Opaltags: funny, humor 314 likes LikeJarod KintzToo bad Americans cant export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic. Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.tags: american, americans, attic, awesome, export, funny, humor 307 likes LikeJarod KintzHere's a haiku/palindrome I wrote called, "Obsession."

Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob,Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob Jarod Kintz, A Letter to Andre Breton, Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Ink-dipped Carrottags: bob, funny, haiku, obsession, palindrome, poetry, writing 306 likes LikeRick RiordanTantalus made a wild grab, but the marshmallow committed suicide, diving into the flames. Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsterstags: curse, funny 301 likes LikeSherrilyn KenyonWell, someone slap my butt and give me a hero cookie. (Nick) Sherrilyn Kenyon, Infinitytags: funny, hero, sarcasm 299 likes LikeJennifer L. ArmentroutI have the feeling we just made a deal with the devil, and he's going to come back and want our first-born child or something."

Daemon waggled his brows. "You want kids? Because you know, practice makes--"

"Shut up." I shook my head and started walking. Jennifer L. Armentrout, Opaltags: daemon, funny, katy 297 likes LikeJ.K. RowlingWhich way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me.""Say 'please.'""Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?""Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice."All right- PLEASE.""NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonetags: filch, funny, harry-potter, humor, peeves, please 283 likes LikeJarod KintzThe only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasnt around to propose to her. Jarod Kintz, $3.33tags: christian-bale, funny, humor, marriage, wife 254 likes LikeJarod KintzI am a slave to your love. Well, more like indentured servant. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: funny, indentured-servant, love, slave 239 likes LikeJarod KintzDont shave my head to make your wig of selfishness. Shave it because you care. Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Saletags: care, funny, selfish, wig 236 likes LikeThe last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him.The last time somebody pointed out that cowboys ride horses, not tricycles, I shot him. Of course, I waited until another gunslinger gunned him down, but nevertheless, I still shot him. Jarod Kintz, Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Lifetags: absurd, clever, cowboy, cowboys, creative, creativity, design, fire, funny, gun, gunned, horse, horses, humor, kill, murder, photoshop, picture, picture-and-words, shoot, shot, text, tricycles 210 likes LikeJarod KintzOne thing I often get carried away with is piggyback rides. Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.tags: carried-away, funny, humor, piggyback, piggyback-rides 194 likes Like previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 99 100 next All Quotes | My Quotes | Add A Quote

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