w w w. t h e we e k l y b e a n . c a

(306) 463-6383 or e-mail:thebean@sasktel.net

January 12, 2015

MAN DRESSED AS SANTA SHOOTS 2 AT DETROIT GAS STATION

DETROIT (WWJ) – A man dressed as Santa shot two people at a gas station Sunday morning in Detroit. Detroit police officials confirmed that the two victims — both 29-year-old men — were recovering from gunshot wounds following the incident at the Speedway on East Jefferson Ave. and I-375. The festively dressed gunman, who is now in custody, told officers that he felt threat-ened after arguing with the pair and shot both men. “An individual who was dressed as Santa and two other individuals got into some kind of confrontation,” said Detroit Police Officer Adam Madera. “Two of the individuals went to their vehicle; they believe that Santa felt maybe that they were going to get a weapon. He then shot these individuals.” Madera said that two off-duty officers in the area engaged in a short foot chase with the suspect and directed him to an on-duty officer who made the arrest. One of the victims was listed in critical condition, while the other had non life-threatening injuries, according to police.

MONKEY TASERED IN FRANCE AFTER CHOCOLATE-FUELLED

BENDER

French police had to use a stun gun to take down an aggressive monkey that was running amok in a Marseilles neighbourhood, its rampage fuelled in part by chocolate given to it by children, according to a report from a French newspaper. Police say the animal was being fed Kinder chocolates by local children. (La Provence) The North African macaque was the subject of more than a dozen calls to police in the Castellanne neighbourhood — including one report that it scratched children at a local elementary school — over the last few weeks, according to La Provence. Police say the animal was being fed Kinder chocolates by local children. Authorities say it was likely abandoned recently after being kept illegally. The animal may have been abused and an investigation to locate its previous owner has been opened, one report says. The monkey’s rampage ended Monday after police used the stun gun to subdue it.

Town Office Hours: 8:30 am - 4:30 pmMonday to FridayBox 1269 ~ 106-5th Ave E. Kindersley, SK S0L 1S0 (306) 463-2675 www.kindersley.ca

WhatThe TowenhancinKindersleCentre.

Beginningmust:

1. Cscup

2. Rbepafeth

All visbe dis

These newill ensurKinderslethe Saska

The additstaff in min this loc

Loraas wThe 2015www.kind

is changn of Kinders

ng its serviceey Waste an

g in 2015, vi

Check in at thcale securitypon entering

Report the maeing disposeay related di

ees prior to ahe landfill.

sitors will alssposed.

ew measuresre that unacey Waste anatchewan M

F

tion of fencinmaintaining thcation.

waste and rec5 schedule adersley.ca/g

ging at tsley is es at the d Recycle

isitors

he weigh y trailer g the site. aterialsed of and isposalaccessing

so be directe

s provide adcepted mated Recycle C

Ministry of En

For a list of uvisit ww

ng and survehe area and

cycle cart coand map of carbage-and-

the Was

ed by staff to

dded securityerials are noCentre and lanvironment.

naccepted www.kindersle

eillance campreventing n

ollection is ncollection zo-recycling.

ste and R

o the approp

y and safetyt being deliv

andfill are fu

waste materey.ca/garbag

meras to the non-biodegr

ow entering nes is availa

Recycle

priate locatio

y at the Wastvered onto thlly complian

rials and dispge-and-recyc

compost areradable mate

its third weeable online a

Centre?

ns where lar

te and Recyhe property. t with regula

posal fees, cling.

ea is also exerials from b

ek of operatat

?

rger items a

ycle Centre aOperations

ations as set

xpected to asbeing dispos

ion in Kinde

re to

andat the

t by

ssist ed of

rsley.

@TownKindersley

SIGNS FROM BUSINESSES

Seen on a garbage truck: “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back”

Seen at a cemetery: “DRIVE CAREFULLY- WE CAN WAIT!”

Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA

“Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!”

Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges

Outside a photographer’s studio: Out to lunch: If not back by five, out for dinner also

Sign on an elevator: In case of fire do not use elevator, use water.

A sign featuring an illustration of a police car with lights flashing:

“If you drink and drive, we’ll provide the chasers.”

B VITAMINS may be helpful in decreasing

symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.

Cody Anderson, Dylan Anderson, Karmyn Belitski, Mackenzie Chernoff, Rhett Dimitroff, Rowyn Dimitroff, Jayla Ekencrantz, Beau

Jeffries, Leo Jewitt, Cole Kandraczynski, Braecyn Krentz, Hailey Lothammer, Cole Parfitt, Ava Pennington, Oliver Perkind, Geneva Strutt, Sydni Ternes, Emma Torrens, Noah Wurz, JR Andreas, Rhett

Boisjoli, Abby Brewer, Rhys Busby, Ashton Carberry, Ava Feader, Cherish Rae Fournier, Ricky Fuhr, Taryn Green, Brooklyn Hagan, Leah Julseth, Kenneth Kleinsasser, Hunter Lothammer, Rhiannon

Lynch, Emma Nagel, Chloe Peterson, Adam Ranger, Maggie Rudolph, Hunter Smith, Hayden Swan, AidanTorry, Sophia White,

Serenity Wollstencroft

Co-op Kid’s Club Birthdays of the Week

NEW PODUCTS» SUPER BERRIES

FRUIT MIX» ANDROGRAPHIS

RESPIRATORY HEALTH» MOTHER’S MILK

TEA

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?I’m stuck on you

What is black and white and pink all over? An embarrassed zebra

What bird steals from the rich to give to the poor? Robin Hood

What did the toilet say to the other toilet?

You look a little flushed

What do you call a scared dinosaur? A nervous Rex

TRUCK AND CAR ACCESSORIES AND PERFORMANCE PARTS

Some thoughts for the New Year...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend

more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more

experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too

seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but

have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not

better things.Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes

from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts

in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Community Calendar

CHEER & TUMBLE - Affordable Gymnastics Classes, ages 2-18, next session starts in April, now accepting applications! - Competitive Cheer Team, ages 5-14 - Birthday Parties Available!Check us out on Facebook Kerrobert Cheer & Tumble. Or Call Tajia @ 306-834-4364GROOVYDOS ART STUDIO, Kerrobert 306-834-4300For more info visit: www.groovydos.ca or www.pinterest.com/elaineunruhPAINT-YOUR-OWN-POTTERY Mon- Fri: 1-6pm / Thurs: 4-9pmFun for all ages! Big selection for Adults, Teens, Kids & even Dad!Private parties & Group Evening bookings also availableADULT ART CLASSES W/ INSTRUCTION $48 for 5 classes – Thurs 6-9pmIncludes Paint, Brushes, Patterns, Instruction, Glaze & firing (if doing ceramics)Pottery, Canvas & Wood projects available forpurchase or bring your own project.

Birth Matters Heartland offers:Birth Matters Heart-land, Birth Group Third Friday of every month. No-vember’s topic is Belly Binding for pre and postnatal. Find us on Facebook for details.PRAIRIE CROCUS QUILT GUILD meet 2nd Tues.of each month.iKids Club is every Thursday night at 6pm-8PM We follow the school calendar, so if there is a break at school, there is a break at iKids! iKids is $5 per child, there is a special rate for families! We also do birthday parties! Contact Becky for more info! Follow the fun at www.ikidsclub.ca and on facebook at iKids Club or email Becky becky@ikidsclub.caWALKING WITH PATHWAY TO WELLNESS Monday & Thursday - 9:30 a.m. - 11:30 a.m. Walking Track at the West Central Events Center(indoor shoes required) (wheelchair accessible/elevator)MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP meeting every Wednesday at 7:00 p.m. at the Provincial Building 113 2nd Ave East Board Room. For people whose lives are affected by mental health issues. Everyone Welcome. For more information call Barb 306-463-4754.KCS BAND FRUIT SALE Oranges and Grapefruits. To order call:463-3771 (days) Or Dawn 463-3456 (evenings) Nicole 463-3515 (evenings) Deadline for orders: January 20thJANUARY 12TH TO 16TH, 2015 is Crisis Centre Week. Thursday January 15, 2015 will be a full day open house. Please join us at 116 -1st Avenue West for free food and refreshments that will be served throughout the day. Come and explore all the FREE services available in our Community

The Great Calendar Of Events

KINDERSLEY TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) Chap-ter #1136:Anybody interested in joining or checking out the group are welcome to attend meetings any Monday at 7:00p.m., Kindersley Senior Centre, 115 3rd Ave. E.A.A. - Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall. Tues 8PM Brock The Vesper Club, Tues. 8PM Leader United Church. Wed. 8PM Eston United Church, Thurs. 8PM Kindersley New Life Church, Fri. 8PM Kindersley Lutheran Church.AL-ANON Mon. 8PM at the Legion Hall Call 306-463-6654 or 965-2659.THE OIL WIVES CLUB OF KINDERSLEY, LADIES, If your spouse or significant other, works in the oil patch, you are invited to join the Oil Wives Club of Kinders-ley in a once a month, fun night of “Fostering Friend-ship.” contact Mary Ann at 306-463-6164 or 306-463-9352.KINDER KOLLEGE, the newest child care Centre, is looking to hire a full time person who enjoys interacting with children on a daily basis. Contact Jodi @ 306-463-5435. Cook position availableJanuary 1, 2015.KDAC PRESENTS “Winter Bites the Blues” Double concert featuring Megan Nash from Moose Jaw and Blackberry Wine for Eatonia on Sat. Jan. 24 at the Norman Ritchie Centre. Doors open at 6:30Pm. Tick-ets $45 each and available at Labelle Boutique, Lela’s Music or Garden Gallery.PARKINSON’S SUPPORT GROUP is held the 2nd Wednesday of every month at 2 p.m. in the Fischer Lounge of the Kindersley Hospital. For more information contact Nancy @ 306-463-4514.KINDERSLEY FRIDAY NIGHT DANCE – Feb. 6th at the Elk’s Hall 8:00 – 11:30 pm. Music by “Leon Ochs” Everyone Welcome. Lunch served.THE GLIDDEN REC BOARD IS HAVING A FUNDRAISER ~ DINE WITH BLACKBERRY WINEFebruary 14, Doors open 5:30 Fully served 5 course dinner. Advanced tickets only, 463-3576.

Hi Neighbours:There is an impending labour shortage for municipalities. In the 1970s, more than 40% of college and university students in the US were willing to work for a level of government. Today, that number is less than 15%. Coupled with this challenge is the aging of the “baby boomers” generation; they are starting to retire and replacing them is proving difficult. Here in Kindersley, it has been difficult to recruit some staff with the technical expertise that is needed and the personality to work with a broad range of people. As a result, some jobs are going unfilled and salaries are increasing in an attempt to stimulate recruitment. There are numerous municipal positions available throughout Canada that are empty because of the lack of qualified personnel, the salaries paid in the private sector, and the working conditions. What I mean by working conditions is that many of our employees are not treated with respect by some user group representatives and residents.What is the Town’s greatest asset? Is it the Haubrich Water Plant? The landfill? The waste water lagoon? The WCEC? Our programming and events? In my opinion, none of these goods and services are the most valuable asset. The Town’s most valuable asset is its employees. It is due to the employees that we have the services, programs, and facilities that we have – a safe water treatment and waste water disposal system, waste man-agement, public works, programming, and much more.Our employees work in the public eye and are often under a lot of scrutiny from citizens and provincial and federal regulators. The public scrutinizes the services they use while the regulators govern virtually everything a municipality does, including the certification required by employees to carry out their scope of work.The municipal labour shortage is expected to be acute in 10 – 15 years. Council’s responsibility, as we look down the road, is to develop the policies and culture necessary to ensure that Kindersley is able to recruit and retain quality staff, and foster Kindersley’s ongoing success. Council needs to nurture a culture in which working for the Town of Kindersley is desirable. This type of change takes time, patience, and persistence, and is accomplished over the course of three or four Council terms.As we work together, we can build a culture that creates a thriving and dynamic community that is attractive for both new and longtime residents regardless of their occupations.Please write or phone if you would like me to discuss a particular topic. If you have any questions or com-ments, drop me a line at the town office or email me at mayorenns-wind@kindersley.ca. You can also check out my blog at http://mayorjohn.blogspot.ca/. I appreciate your feedback.

POLITICALLY CORRECT APPEARANCES:4 She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE

She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.4 She is not a BAD COOK

She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.4 She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY.She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

4 She is not SELF CENTEREDShe is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

4 She does not want to be MARRIED She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

4 She does not GAIN WEIGHT She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.4 She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE

She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.4 She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS

She is ATHLETICALLY UNAWARE.

One of my husband’s colleagues at General Electric was taking Lamaze classes with his wife in preparation for the birth of their

baby. The first evening, couples were asked to introduce themselves and state their occupations. A banker, a lawyer and a

psychologist spoke up, and our factory-worker friend began to feel intimidated.

Finally his turn came. Rising to his feet, he said, “Hi! I’m Bill.” Looking down at his pregnant wife,

he quipped,

“I work at GE, and I bring good things to life!”-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Our three small children and I met my husband, a mail carrier, on his route for lunch at a fast-food restaurant. As we waited in line, he put our nine-month-old daughter in his mail bag. She stood up in the pouch and giggled, to the delight of some watching patrons. Carrying our tray to a table, my husband turned to one onlooker

and said, “And all this time you thought the stork delivered them!”

Works in below-freezing temperatures Maintains a water line 24/7 throughout the winter Tested to -42 C Drinking water safe

Highway 7 East, Kindersley www.boychuksales.com

Ph 306-463-6511 * 1-877-433-3337

1. In 1949, Johnny Carson graduated from college. Which midwestern U.S. university, known as the Cornhuskers, did Carson attend?A) Kansas B) PurdueC) Iowa D) Nebraska2. From 1957 to 1962, Johnny Carson worked on the game show “Who Do You Trust?”, where he met his announcer and sidekick Ed McMahon. Which television network aired “Who Do You Trust”?A) NBC B) ABCC) CBS D) Fox3. In 1962, Johnny Carson began his long run as host of “The Tonight Show.” Which legendary talk show host did Carson replace?A) Hugh Downs B) Jack PaarC) Steve Allen D) Groucho Marx

4. Johnny Carson began most episodes of “The Tonight Show” with a humorous monologue about news stories and celebrity gossip of the day. When the monologue was not funny, which tune did his orchestra usually play?A) Alley Cat B) Singin’ In the RainC) Hello! Dolly!D) Tea for Two5. On “The Tonight Show” Johnny Carson frequently played a fast-talking, smooth-sounding host of “The Tea Time Movie” who tried to con his listeners into buying shoddy merchandise. What was this character’s name?A) Floyd R. Turbo B) Art FernC) Aunt Blabby D) El Mouldo

1.D, 2.B, 3.B, 4.D, 5.B

w In India, red is the symbol for a soldier.w In South Africa, red is the color of mourning.w It’s considered good luck to tie a red bow on a new car.w In ancient Rome, public servants wore blue. Today, police and other public servants wear blue.w In Iran, blue is the color of mourning.w Leonardo da Vinci believed that the power of meditation increases 10 times when done in a purple light, as in the purple light of stained glass.w Purple in a child’s room is said to help develop the imagination according to color theory.w In the Middle Ages, actors portraying the dead in a play wore yellow.

“One call does it all”306-463-6105

Your

dealer in Kindersley

See our beautiful Showroomfeaturing light fixtures, fireplaces, home decor, faucets, tools and much more!

Chemicalsand Supplies

in stock

LARRY’S PROVERBS

A day without sunshine is like night. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

You Know You Are From A Small Town If...

Your teachers call you by your older sibling’s names.Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.

You can’t help but date a friend’s ex-girlfriend.Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

You ever went to parties at a Quonset, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.

You can name everyone you graduated with.You give directions using “the” stop light as a reference.

The Perfect Husband

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone sitting on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up and the followingconversation ensues:“Honey, it’s me, are you at the club?”“Yes.”“Great! I’m at the mall two blocks from where you are and I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”“What’s the price?”“Only $1500.”“Well, OK go get it if you like it that much.”“Oh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2001s. I really liked one, and the salesmen said he’d give me a good price.”“How much are they asking?”“Only $60,000.”“Well, o.k., but for that price I want it with all the bells and whistles.”“Great! But before we hang up, I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent, and remember that cute English beachfront property we looked at last year? It’s on sale, and you have enough in your bank account to buy it.”“Well honey, if you think it’s a good deal, then go ahead and buy it too.”“Thank you so much sweetie! I’ll see you later!”The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

My father used to tell me the story about a friend who was a fanatical curler.

After having played in a bonspiel, the fellow put his curling gear in his car then returned to the club lounge for the post-games socializing. After a couple of hours, he left the club to make

his way home. A few minutes later, in a very agitated state, he rushed back in. He went immediately to the public phone and dialed the police. The other curlers within earshot heard the following:

“Yes, I want to report the theft of my curling broom! It’s a blue rink-rat with my initials engraved into it!”

“When did it go missing?” asked the police.

“Well, sometime within the last two hours.”

“Anything else we should know about this?” asked the police.

“Well, it was in my car, and that’s missing too!”

My father used to tell me the story about a friend who was a fanatical curler.

After having played in a bonspiel, the fellow put his curling gear in his car then returned to the club lounge for the post-games socializing. After a couple of hours, he left the club to make

his way home. A few minutes later, in a very agitated state, he rushed back in. He went immediately to the public phone and dialed the police. The other curlers within earshot heard the following:

“Yes, I want to report the theft of my curling broom! It’s a blue rink-rat with my initials engraved into it!”

“When did it go missing?” asked the police.

“Well, sometime within the last two hours.”

“Anything else we should know about this?” asked the police.

“Well, it was in my car, and that’s missing too!”

The

3

West C

30t

Da

P

Di

To:

Centra

Invit

th Aate: Tu

Place: E

Dinner,

RSV

: crisis@

al Crisi

tes you

Anuesday,

Elks Ha

Time

Guest s

Silen

Ticket

VP by J

@saskte

s & Fa

u to celeb

nniv, Janua

all, Kin

e: 6:00p

speaker

nt Aucti

ts : $20

January

el.net or

amily S

brate o

versary 13th

ndersley

pm

r Jeff Y

tion

0.00

ry 6, 2

r 306.46

Suppor

our

rsaryh, 2015

y, SK

Yalden

2015

63.6655

rt Cent

ry 5

n

5

tre

TOUGHEST TIME OF MY LIFE

I had the toughest time of my life.

First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis.

Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis,

double pneumonia and phthisis.

Then they gave me hypodermics.

Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy.

These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.

I completely lost my memory for a while.

I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion,

besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.

I don’t know how I pulled through it.

It was the hardest spelling test I’ve ever had!

YOU KNOW YOU NEED A NEW LAWYER WHEN...

When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

He tells you that his last good case was a “Budweiser.”

He picks the jury by playing “duck-duck-goose.

During the trial you catch him playing a game on his phone.

He asks a hostile witness to “pull my finger.”

Every couple of minutes he yells, “I call Jack Daniels to the stand!” and proceeds to drink a shot.

He places a large”No Refunds” sign on the defense table.