Jamie Smart - The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence

The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous InfluenceBy Jamie Smart

The Top 10 Secrets ofEthically Outrageous Influence

By Jamie Smart

Limits of Liability / Disclaimer of Warranty:The author and publisher of this book and the accompanying materials have used their best efforts in preparing this program. The author and publisher make no

representation or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this program. They disclaim any warranties

(expressed or implied), merchantability, or fitness for any purpose. The author and publisher shall not be held liable for any loss or other damages, including but not limited to incidental, consequential, or other damages. The author and publisher

make no claims for any medical benefits of this program. The advice of a competent medical professional should always be sought in the case of health matters.

Copyright in this document belong to the author. The author also asserts the right to be identified as such and to object to any misuse.

©2006 Jamie Smart www.saladltd.co.ukAll Rights Reserved

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Table of Contents

Read This First.............................................................................3Who is this e-book for?.................................................................4Introduction................................................................................ 4What is NLP?...............................................................................5Why Learn NLP?...........................................................................7#1 – The Neediness Detector........................................................ 8#2 – Discover What People Really Want........................................ 10#3 – Benefits Galore.................................................................. 12#4 – The Ultimate Influence Tool................................................. 14#5 – Your Most Powerful Influence Tool........................................ 16#6 – The Magic of Reasons .........................................................18#7 – Use Embedded Commands ..................................................21#8 – Eliminate Objections Before They Arise..................................23#9 – Use the Power of Negation...................................................26#10 – Keep Developing Your Language Skills.................................28More Information....................................................................... 30Free Stuff..................................................................................33About the Author........................................................................34Acknowledgements.....................................................................34


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Read This First

Welcome to The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence. My name’s Jamie Smart. I’m an NLP trainer, author, and creator of NLP Coaching Cards TM , Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards TM , and Irresistible Influence Cards TM , the world’s leading resources for learning the language of NLP, Hypnosis and Influence. I’d like to say “thank-you” to you for reading this e-book. I’d also like to ask you to please send this e-book to your friends and colleagues, because it will help them, it will help me to reach more people, and because it will make you feel good too! If you’ve been sent this e-book by someone else, then make sure that you sign up for the FREE NLP newsletter that accompanies it, here: http://www.saladltd.co.uk/Influence_course_free_signup_.htm

Once you do, you will be sent new issues on a regular basis to learn from. It will only take a minute or two to read, but you’ll be amazed at the skills you start developing quickly.

This book complements our NLP Coaching Cards TM , Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards TM , and Irresistible Influence Cards TM . I’ll be referring to the cards later, but when you buy the cards and get the patterns now, you can unlock the massive potential this book reveals immediately.

If you want to really accelerate your learning, go to the Salad website and order all three decks of SALAD NLP CARDS at a special discounted rate (http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/pages-productinfo/category-1/product-34/nlp-neuro-linguistic-programming-3-card-deck-bundle.html).

These cards are quite simply the fastest way there is to develop your skills in using the language of NLP, Hypnosis and Influence. The insights you’ll be getting from the newsletter complement the patterns on the cards, so when you have both, it will really turbo-charge your learning. For more information about how you can learn fast just by playing cards, go to http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/pages-productinfo/category-1/product-34/nlp-neuro-linguistic-programming-3-card-deck-bundle.html


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Who is this e-book for?

This e-book is for people who are interested in helping themselves to become far more effective at influencing other people ethically. It will also be of great value to people who want to massively increase their ability to communicate effectively. It will be of particular interest to executive coaches, life coaches, therapists, hypnotists, trainers, managers, salespeople, consultants, networkers, students of NLP, health-workers, doctors and other healers.

Introduction

When I first started learning NLP, Persuasion & Influence, I dreamed of being able to do the magic that I had heard about. Getting into rapport at a moment’s notice, wonders of sensory acuity, extraordinary leaps of intuition, wildly persuasive language patterns. I wanted all of it, and I wanted it fast!

I scrabbled about, buying books, going on training courses and practicing. I was like a man possessed! But when I look back on that time, I realise now that many of the things which made the biggest difference were actually quite simple, and sometimes counter-intuitive.

I’ve met lots of people who have been trained in NLP, have been on countless influence courses, but still aren’t getting the sorts of results that they want. And I’ve met others who are just starting out, and are overwhelmed by the amount of information. I’ve met yet others who are doing well, and are always on the lookout for a new tool, technique, or way of thinking which will get them even better results. This is for all of you.

As you read this you'll start to see ways that you can fine-tune and improve your abilities right away. Read on and I'll show you ways you can accelerate your learning later.


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What is NLP?

NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) is the most powerful approach I’ve found for communications, change, and excellent performance. It has been widely applied, with often astonishing results, in fields as diverse as:

Business Coaching Sales & Influence Psychology Sports Healthcare Negotiation Education The list goes on…

These days, most books on personal development will include at least some NLP techniques, and it has been incorporated into most persuasion & influence trainings on at least some level. Some of the most dramatic accomplishments of the field include:

A fast (one session) phobia cure A learnable model of the skills of exquisite communicators A spelling strategy to transform the abilities of poor spellers A functional model of the skills of great visionaries

One of the most profound ideas of NLP is that, if one person can do something, it should be possible to find out what they’re doing and replicate it. NLP modelling is a unique approach for identifying and replicating the unconscious skills of excellent performers (Eg. the ‘naturally talented’) then teaching them to others.

The nameThe name of the field refers to (Neuro) the human nervous system, including the brain and the five senses, (Linguistic) the verbal & non-verbal languages with which we communicate and (Programming) the ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve desired results.

HistoryNeuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used, and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and have continued to develop.)


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The fundamentalsThe fundamentals of NLP are straightforward:

1. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction)

One of the key NLP questions is ‘What do you want?’. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking, and you tend to get what you focus on. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life.

2. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport)

"The map is not the territory." You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the ‘Present State’.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind.

3. Know whether you’re getting what you want (Sensory Acuity)

Once you know where you want to go, you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise.)

4. Adjust what you’re doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility)

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." When you notice that you are not getting what you want, you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result. "Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it."


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Why Learn NLP?

By learning NLP you can:

Learn to control your own state of mind Develop powerfully persuasive communication skills Overcome obstacles in business & in your personal life Help others to get the results they want Have more of the experiences you want Have more success, happiness, joy and fulfillment in your life Learn the tools of freedom

Is it Ethical?

The skills you will learn are neither ethical nor unethical – they are, however, very powerful. We suggest, therefore, that you follow these principles when you use them…

Best interests

Ensure that you have your own best interests and the best interests of the person you are persuading at heart. If you know that what you want them to do is going to be good for them and make them happy / healthy / wealthy then go for it. If in doubt, don’t! While it is possible to get people to do things against their best interests, they won’t make the same mistake twice, and they’ll tell lots of other people not to either.

Believe in your product / service / idea

Whether you are persuading someone of the value of your ideas, services or physical products, one thing is fairly certain: if you do not believe in it, neither will they. So make sure that you believe in whatever you want others to believe in. If you don’t, then either change your belief or change your product.

Believe in yourself

It is an old adage that ‘people buy people’, and the quickest way to get others to believe in you is to believe in yourself. There are many excellent resources available for developing your self-belief – we suggest you use them.

Believe in the universeYou can think of the mind as having two parts: a thinker and a prover. The thinker can think almost anything – the prover proves what the thinker thinks by filtering out information that doesn’t agree with it. For this reason, we suggest that you choose beliefs that support and help you, giving you a happy and fulfilling life. Einstein once said that the main question facing humanity was “Is the universe a friendly place?” We suggest that you decide to believe it is. It has been shown again and again that optimists live longer, happier more fulfilling lives than pessimists. Choose to be an optimist. Choose to believe that you can have more happiness, fun, excitement, adventure, money, pleasure and fulfilment in your life than you ever thought possible. This choice never disappoints!


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Ethically Outrageous Secret

#1 – The Neediness Detector

I recently saw two young children, the eldest of whom had just made some fresh fruit juice. She wanted the younger child to try some of the delicious juice she'd made. She said no. The older girl tried various ways to convince her to try the juice, but the more she wanted her to try it, the less the little one wanted to. I suddenly realised that I was seeing a demonstration of one of the most powerful but little known secrets of influence; she had triggered the youngster’s 'opposition response'.

The fact that you're reading this article means that you are a) alive and b) can read. And this means that you've come from a long line of ancestors who were a big success from an evolutionary perspective - they managed to survive and replicate. Over the countless generations, we have developed 'rules of thumb' that help us to keep safe and survive.

The opposition responseOne of these rules of thumb is the opposition response. It goes like this: "If someone else wants me to do something, it may not be in my best interest."

Think about it. Imagine for a moment that you're a caveman or cavewoman, with some ability to communicate. You're with a group of people gathered around the mouth of a cave. In the cave is a creature, but you don't know what it is. It could be a large beast that will feed your tribe for weeks to come, helping you to avoid starvation. Or it could be the nasty tiger that's been terrorising you. You need to find out, so you choose one of the weedier members of the tribe and tell him it's a really good idea for him to go into the cave to find out. He goes in, and gets eaten by a tiger. And doesn't have any more children.

If your ancestors didn't have an opposition response, they would have been first into the cave, and you wouldn't be here today. If you didn't have an opposition response, all someone would have to do to sell you something would be to say "Buy our products" and you'd do it.

But you do have an opposition response, and that raises another issue; If someone else wants me to do something, it may not be in my best interest, but on the other hand, it could be. How do you know when the thing someone's advising you to do is actually in your best interests? Fortunately, you don't only have an opposition response; you also have a 'neediness detector'.

The amazing neediness detectorOne of the tools we all have is a 'neediness detector'. We can sense (intuitively) the difference between someone who wants us to do something because they have our best interests at heart, and someone who wants us to do something because they need us to. And here's how it works:

The more they need us to, the less we want to do it (or the higher our price gets).

This is true in every walk of life: The more you don't need a partner, the more people are attracted to you The more you don't need to close this deal, the easier it is


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The more you don't need the money, the more money comes to you

There is perhaps nowhere that this is more powerful than in the areas of sales, and of sexual attraction. Women have incredibly sensitive 'neediness detectors' when it comes to men. Potential clients have incredibly sensitive neediness detectors when it comes to salespeople.

But it's true in every influence situation; even when you're trying to convince your sibling to drink some juice.

So what can you do about this?

1) Think of a situation where you want someone else to do something that they haven't done yet. This could be a client, a family member, a friend, a potential partner - anyone.

2) On a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 is 'genuinely not bothered one way or another' and 10 is 'This absolutely has to happen or I cannot continue to function'), assign a score of how much you want / need them to do the thing.

What was your score? If you've got a low score, it probably will be fairly easy to influence the other person to do the thing, if they perceive some benefit in it. If you got a high score, you may be triggering their neediness detectors, and making the influence job more difficult for yourself.

If you want to reduce your neediness score, you can do the following:

3) Allow yourself to become ok with the idea of them not doing what you want them to do.

I know you may be protesting, and saying that I don't understand, but here's the thing. The more you allow yourself to get comfortable with the possibility of them not doing what you want them to do, the more your body will relax. When you are in a state of relaxed alertness, you have more of your resources available to you to act. As it happens, one of the key attributes of the most successful persuaders & influencers is that they put people at ease, & the quickest way to help someone else to relax is to be relaxed yourself. As you do this, you'll stop telegraphing neediness.

Of course, this is just one of the rules of thumb that our neurology uses to decide which people you'll allow yourself to be influenced by.


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#2 – Discover What People Really Want

A few months ago, I was doing a talk to a group of influence professionals, and I made a bold claim. I said "There's something that everyone wants, and once you know how to zero in on it, you can influence anyone". They looked at me skeptically, but I continued. I said "People only want one thing, and you probably won't agree with me at first, but it's true, and I can prove it. The one thing everybody wants is feelings. I said "Think about it. Everything you've ever bought in your life, you've bought because of the feelings you thought it would give you."

As expected, there were murmurs of "Rubbish" and ""Bollocks", so I asked one of the skeptics if they would be willing to take part in a demonstration. I asked him to think of something he had purchased recently, and he indicated a beautiful new watch on his wrist. Here's how it went:

Me: That's a nice watch. What does that watch give you that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Him: It looks good.

Me: Cool, it does look good. And what does wearing a watch that looks good give you that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Him: My appearance is important to me - it gives people the right impression.

Me: Yes, appearance is important. And what does taking care of your appearance and giving people the right impression give you that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Him: I feel good about myself.

My personal policy is always to go at least one step further than I think I should, so I asked him...

Me: You feel good about yourself. And what does feeling good about yourself give you that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Him: I feel in control of where I'm going and know that everything's OK in my life.

People want feelingsAs you can imagine, by this point people were nodding and smiling. I pointed out that while he had thought he was buying a watch, what had really motivated him to buy was the feelings and associations he felt the watch would give him.

Feelings move people to take action. In fact, they're the only thing that does. Until someone feels something, they won't take action.

This is what influences people, whether you're trying to get someone to go on a date with you, to tidy their room, or to buy a new jet airplane. People don't want things


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and experiences so much as they want the feelings they think those things and experiences will give them (and to avoid the 'bad' feelings they don't want).

1) Ask yourself what you want to get from reading this tip.

You may want to be more influential, or to close more deals, or to understand more about people. Whatever answer you come up with, ask yourself "What would that give me that I wouldn't otherwise have?" Whatever answer comes up, ask the question again of that answer. Keep going until you can't go any further. This is the core state that motivates you.

In most cases, people end up at some kind of core feeling. This is what people really want.

While it's good to know this, asking someone "What would that give you that you wouldn't otherwise have" over and over again isn't usually appropriate in an influence situation.

I'm in the process of selling my house, and I had a potential buyer looking around the other day. I asked her "What are you looking for in a house?" and she said "Space and light".

"Space and light?" I said. "Why is that important?" This is a great question for eliciting the core feelings that motivate people.

2) Repeat exercise one, but using the question "Why is that important?" Notice any differences in the way you respond.

Criteria elicitationThis is part of a process called "Criteria Elicitation" which is an incredibly powerful way of finding out what the feelings are that drive people to make good decisions. Criteria Elicitation is at the heart of successful persuasion and influence.

The flip side of this is the 'bad' feelings people want to avoid. An old consulting trick is to identify the painful feelings associated with not solving a particular problem, then amplifying those feelings until the potential client is so uncomfortable they'll do almost anything to change the way they feel. I think people spend enough time feeling bad as it is, so I'm not a big fan of that approach unless someone's in total denial about their situation, but it is effective.

As you remember the core feeling you felt when you did the first exercise, you probably recognise that this tip reveals one of a number of powerful keys to increase your influence power and increase your own levels of success and fulfilment. . If you'd like to find more ways to do that, check out Ethical Influence with NLP , a recording of a three-day training, where you’ll discover the rest of the secrets of influence in an entertaining, engaging and practical fashion.


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#3 – Benefits Galore

People don't want things and experiences so much as the feelings they think those things and experiences will give them. So what can you do with those feelings once you've uncovered them. There is only one reason why anyone refuses to do what you want them to do, and that reason is... 'benefits'.

Just like people don't want things and experiences so much as the feelings they think those things and experiences will give them, people don't buy products and services so much as the benefits they perceive those products and services as offering them.

Take (for example) Salad's Irresistible Influence Cards

I could tell you that our cards: Use the most powerful Ericksonian language patterns for persuasion & influence Are printed on casino-quality playing cards can be used to play games

Features – no-one cares!These are features. But guess what? NO-ONE CARES! What people care about is how these things benefit them, how they connect with the core feelings that matter to you!

Whenever you set out to influence someone, they are internally asking the question "What's in it for me?" What's in it for them is "benefits".

What’s in it for me?Notice how different it is when I tell you that our cards:

Make it so you can effortlessly get people to want to do what you want them to do, leading to greater success, more money, better relationships and more fulfilling experiences.

Are fun, so you'll have a great time learning new skills quickly, easily and automatically, so you spend less time stressed out and more time feeling good with the people who matter to you, and feeling excited about how you'll be able to use what you've learned automatically.

While this seems simplistic and obvious, the reality is that the majority of would-be influencers focus on the features (what matters to them) rather than the benefits (what matters to the person or people they're setting out to influence).

1) Identify something you'd like to influence someone to do (whether it's buy something, tidy their room, take you to dinner etc). Then ask yourself "What will that do for them? What's in it for them?

Until you get to something that's really important to them, they probably aren't going to do the thing.


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Of course, the most powerful benefits are the ones that connect with core feelings (remember last week's tip?)

2) Identify the features of something you want to influence people to buy / do / etc. Then for each feature, ask yourself "What will that do for them / give them?" or "Why would that be important to them?" Keep asking the question until you get to something you think will genuinely motivate them.

You are probably already aware that this tip reveals one of several powerful keys to increase your influence power and increase your own levels of success and fulfilment. If you'd like to find more ways to do that, check out Ethical Influence with NLP , a recording of a three-day training, where you’ll discover the rest of the secrets of influence in an entertaining, engaging and practical fashion.


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#4 – The Ultimate Influence Tool

So far in this ebook, we’ve looked at a number of the secrets of influence: Eliminating neediness, finding out what the other person wants, and stacking up the benefits until they’re drooling with desire. As you practice these, you’ll find yourself becoming more and more influential. However, there’s a simple technique that you can use throughout this process to build rapport, establish credibility, melt resistance, and generally get the person to want to do what you want them to do. In fact, this is probably the one thing that all great influencers do that gets them results that are many times greater than their colleagues. The greatest influencers are masters of telling stories.

Oral traditionYou see, stories have a very special place in human neurology. While language has been around for between 30,000 and 100,000 years, the printing press has been around for less than 600 years. Until very recently (the last 100 years or so), most people in the West couldn’t read or write. The only way information got passed around was orally, via stories.

Think about it. Stories were the form by which all the key information about survival, tribal customs, rules and roles got passed on. As human beings, we are designed to pay close attention to stories, and to make sense of them (all the people who didn’t pay attention to stories struck up friendships with big bad wolves & gingerbread-housed witches and were subsequently eaten).

And how do we make sense of stories? By finding references from our own experience. For example…

I remember the first personal development audio I ever bought was a set of Richard Bandler tapes. I was doing my Practitioner training at the time, and I kept thinking about how I wanted to keep on learning this amazing stuff long after the course had finished. This was exacerbated by the trainers doing all sorts of ambiguous embedded commands, saying “By our products” & “By now” and the like. I spotted the tapes on the first day of the training (along with the £100 pricetag), and I wrestled with the decision each day. It seemed like a big investment, but I really wanted it. Finally, after waivering for days, I said to myself “This is an investment in yourself. You’re worth it, so make a decision.” I bit the bullet and bought the recordings. When I look back at that decision, nearly 10 years later, having listened to the tapes literally hundreds of times, I’m able to see that it was a sound one. That investment has repaid itself many times over, and is part of what formed the bedrock of what I do for a living today (though I had no way of knowing that then).

Now, as you read the little story above, you’ll have gone inside your own experience to make meaning of the words, phrases and ideas it contains.

Have you ever noticed how when you tell someone a story about something that happened to you, they’ll often tell you something similar that happened to them? This is because they’ve activated all those memories and ideas in order to make sense of your story.


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So how can this be useful for influence?

Well, in a number of ways, but lets just focus on one of them… taking off armour.

Get them to take their armour offWhen you’re setting out to influence someone, they often have their ‘armour’ on. You can’t just say “Take off your armour and listen to what I’m saying” because…that’s the whole point of armour!

But when you start telling a story, something amazing happens. People go into what I call the ‘milk & cookies’ state.

Stories are a reminder of childhood, and listening to stories unconsciously takes you back to those early days, when you were more open to possibility.

People let their guard down and go “It’s OK – he’s just telling us a story.” As they listen to you tell the story, they relax, and their unconscious mind absorbs the patterns and suggestions that the story contains.

For instance, in the story above, I embedded the commands “Buy our products” and “Buy now”, but because it was in the context of a story, your conscious mind probably didn’t object to it. Cool huh!

I’ll be talking more about stories in the weeks ahead, but in the meantime, make a decision to become a master story-teller. It’s the most powerful influence skill you can get!

Of course, there are many more powerful things you can do with stories (and much more subtle embedded commands than the obvious “Buy now” variety). The fastest way to learn embedded commands for influence is by using our Irresistible Influence Cards – check ‘em out!


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#5 – Your Most Powerful Influence Tool

I was having a chat with someone recently who had an incredibly deep & resonant voice. The things he was saying to me were all the more persuasive because his voice felt good to listen to. Now, I was coaching him, so it didn’t actually suit me to be persuaded by what he was saying at that moment. As soon as I realised what was happening (about 30 seconds in… I think!) I snapped out of it and started listening to him in a different way. But I was struck once again by just how powerful your voice is as a tool for persuasion.

Your most powerful toolYour voice is probably your most powerful tool as a persuader. Your ability to speak with flexibility and control can have dramatic results. You can practice learning to control & vary your…

Tone Pitch Rate Rhythm Volume Timbre

and many other vocal qualities.

1. Choose a vocal quality (eg. rate of speech) and vary it. Go to the extremes (eg. see how fast you can talk, how slow you can talk etc.) Do this for each of the vocal qualities in the list above.

As you start to listen more closely to other people, you will begin to recognise the differences in the ways they speak. Matching their voice characteristics can be powerful for building rapport, and is usually outside a person’s conscious awareness.

2. Once you have established that you can vary a particular vocal characteristic, practice using it the next time you are on the phone with someone to get rapport.


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Command tone downThe pitch & tone of voice you use toward the end of a sentence determines at a deep unconscious level what ‘kind’ of sentence it is:

Rising pitch () gets processed as a question. Level pitch () gets processed as a statement. Descending pitch () gets processed as a command.

Which do you think is most useful to use when making suggestions to the people you wish to influence?

3. Practice saying a sentence (Eg. “Have you got any questions?”) with a rising pitch, then a level pitch, then a descending pitch.

The descending pitch opens up the ‘command module’ in someone’s brain. People are more likely to do what you want them to do if the request is made with a descending pitch, because their brain will process it as a command.

4. Identify the things that you want others to do in persuasion situations, then check what pitch you’re using. Practice making those requests using ‘command tone’ then notice what a difference it makes.

I was running a one-day session on NLP for a branding agency last year, and I told them about command tone. One of the participants was from Australia, and asked what effect the characteristic antipodean ‘question tone’ would have. I replied “It won’t have any effect at all?” with a rising voice tone, and she got the point. If you want people to follow your instructions, command tone down will make it more likely to happen.

More advancedPractice using ‘command tone’ on every word within a sentence, so the overall effect is like a series of waterfalls. The impact on the listener is significant. Start having fun expanding your repertoire of voice tones, pitches, rates (mimicking cartoon character voices is a great source of inspiration.) And remember… practice, practice, practice… (repeat with descending voice tone.) You can hear this demonstrated on Ethical Influence with NLP , with other powerful vocal techniques.


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#6 – The Magic of Reasons

In the 1970s, a researcher carried out a revealing experiment. They approached people who were queuing to use a photocopier, and said the following:

“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the machine because I am in a rush?”

More than 90% of the time, the person they asked let them go in front. They did another experiment saying the following:

“Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the machine?”

This time, only 60% of the people they asked let the go in front of them. At first the researcher thought that it was the “because I am in a rush” that made the difference. But then they experimented with other ‘reasons’ (even as seemingly nonsensical as “because I have to make some copies”) and they still were let in front more than 90% of the time.

Just by adding the magic word “because” to their request, they increased the chance of it being granted by over 50%. Isn’t that amazing?!? And why is it like this? Because people love to have reasons for things.

It works because people want a reasonPeople love to have reasons for things, because it makes them feel secure. We live in a chaotic world, and part of the magic of the human nervous system is that it superimposes a grid of certainty & security on this chaotic world. When you give someone a reason for something, their brain goes “Oh good, as long as there’s a reason”. The astonishing thing is, it doesn’t even really matter what the reason is, because the critical faculty of the brain is not quite as critical as you might expect.

You can use this incredibly easily to increase the likelihood of someone complying with a request. For instance, if a person is interested in becoming more influential, I might say

“Our Irresistible Influence Cards will make you hypnotically persuasive”

Compare that with the following:

“Our Irresistible Influence Cards will make you hypnotically persuasive, because they’ve been modeled on the patterns of influence professionals who earn millions of pounds.”

Which is more powerful?

1) Think of a request you would like to make to someone, whether they be a client, friend, family member or stranger. Write out the request in a single sentence.


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When you think about it, we all make requests every single day, because that’s a part of communicating with our fellow human beings.

Examples requests include:

- Would you like to go to the cinema with me- I’d like you to take the dog for a walk- Purchase this product today- Will you cook me dinner- Please give me a back rub

2) Brainstorm some reasons why the person should comply with your request, and then join them to your request with the magic word “because”.

- Would you like to come to the cinema to me, because there’s a movie I think you’ll really enjoy.

- I’d like you to take the dog for a walk, because he needs some exercise.

- Purchase this product today, because you’ll experience the benefits immediately.

- Will you cook me dinner, because I’m really hungry.

- Please give me a back rub, because they feel really good.

People love reasons, so give them one!

Imagine. Just by adding the ‘because’, you increase the likelihood of your request being followed by over 50%, because people love to have reasons for things. Reasons also make statements more plausible, because the same principles apply. (If you doubt this, just re-read the last two sentences)

NB. If the likelihood of someone complying with a request is approaching zero, then increasing it by 50% still leaves it at zero. For instance, I have long let it be known that I’m willing to give Uma Thurman one of my patented almond oil massages at no charge, because they’re very relaxing, but I still haven’t heard from her (Uma, if you’re reading this, the offer’s still good).

Nevertheless, in any situation where there is a reasonable expectation that your request will be followed, you can massively increase the likelihood just by tagging on a “because” reason (this is referred to by hypnotists as a cause-effect pattern). Our Irresistible Influence Cards include multiple variations on this cause-effect pattern, so that you can weave them seamlessly into your language. This means that you don’t have to say ‘because’ all the time, and can instead incorporate patterns to make your requests sound even more natural and easy to agree with.


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Business EssentialsGiving people reasons for things is always a good idea, because it’s part of how human beings are wired up. Whether you’re writing marketing material, internal communications, selling people on your ideas or getting them to buy your services, the fact that you are communicating with human beings means that using the principles of influence is essential (at least if you want them to take certain actions). If something is worth asking someone to do, it’s worth giving them a reason to do it, because it increases the likelihood of them doing it by more than 50%.

Imagine if the likelihood of people complying with every request you made was increased by 50%. What would that do for your business? Why not find out, because you have nothing to lose & everything to gain!


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#7 – Use Embedded Commands

I once heard a story about the famous D-Day invasion in World War II. It related to the French Resistance, the secret network of brave individuals who (among other things) made life difficult for the Nazis and helped British forces who had been stranded in France by smuggling them out of the country and safely home.

As you can imagine, this was extremely dangerous work, and the network needed all the information they could get. Unfortunately, all radios were banned (people created home-made radios, but were shot if found with them), and the Nazis monitored all incoming radio messages rigorously. The solution to this problem was the BBC, who loaded particular radio broadcasts with secret messages, innocuous to the casual listener, but filled with vital information to those individuals who knew what to listen out for. These secret messages were how the French Resistance were informed of the date and plans for the D-Day landings.

I loved the idea of these seemingly innocuous messages carrying vital, hidden information, and it’s one of the things that I still find amazing about NLP. When Bandler and Grinder modelled Milton Erickson (world’s greatest hypnotherapist) they found that he embedded messages in ordinary speech that wasn’t ‘heard’ by the conscious mind, but was heard by the unconscious. In NLP, these messages are referred to as ‘embedded commands’, and they are one of the coolest techniques I’ve ever seen for communicating with someone’s unconscious mind.

Erickson evolved his approach so he could deliver positive messages to his clients, messages they might resist if they were to hear them consciously. I’m sure you can think of many situations where, no matter how positive your intention, a person will resist your message if they are conscious of it. These are situations where you can learn to use embedded messages.

There are many examples of embedded commands, so let’s have a look at a few:


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QuotesThis is one of my favourites. When Bandler said “Learn to use quotes” he wasn’t joking, because when you’re quoting someone else, the person you’re speaking to tends to treat it almost as a story. Your unconscious, of course, will tend to process it as a direct instruction.

NegationWhen you negate something, the person is less likely to resist. “Don’t focus only on the benefits of my product, because it’s important to take a balanced view.” If I wanted you to practice using this pattern, but I thought you might resist, I could say “Don’t practice this pattern too much.” In so doing, I’ve managed to deliver the ‘practice this pattern’ message, say I’m not telling you to do it, and presuppose that you will be practicing it to some extent. If you’re the resistant sort, you might even go “I’ll practice it as much as I want, and you can’t stop me!”

What happens… Another personal favourite. “What happens when you imagine becoming really good at this?” I’ve just asked you a question, but to answer it, you have to imagine becoming really good at this! Cool, eh? What happens when you imagine the benefits our products will give you? By the time you’ve finished the sentence, the process has already started.

How does this work?There are a number of factors at play with this. If I say “Don’t think of a purple zebra”, you have to think of one just to understand what I’ve said to you. Your unconscious is responsible for translating each word into a set of representations which have meaning. So when I say “What happens when you imagine becoming highly skilled at this?”, your unconscious has typically done it by the time you’ve ‘understood’ the sentence.

Add to this the fact that your unconscious processes statements directly (ie. Without regard to context), and that your unconscious can track all the little signals (body language, voice tone etc) and make connections between everything that’s going on and hey presto! You’ve got embedded commands. The conscious mind tends to get ‘hypnotised’ by content. This leaves you free to interact directly with the unconscious mind. Using our Irresistible Influence Cards, you can wire in the ability to use embedded commands by playing cards.


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#8 – Eliminate Objections Before They Arise

In the Steve Martin comedy, “The Man With Two Brains”, an evil serial killer is at large, murdering prostitutes by injecting them with window cleaner (I swear it’s a comedy!) At one point, the killer lures a devastatingly attractive woman to his hotel room, where he proceeds to tell her, in darkly menacing tones, about the horror he plans to commit. In the most screechy, scratchy, high-pitched, whining tone of voice you can imagine, she replies “I don’t mind.” When I saw this film at the cinema, the audience collapsed with laughter. Her whining voice tone was at such odds with her beauty that the result was hilarious. One of the most powerful tools for persuasion and influence we each have is our own voice. A person’s voice can be extremely expressive, and changes in voice tone, pace and pitch can convey an enormous amount of information that is not contained in the content (ie. The actual words someone is saying). For this reason, NLP Practitioners are taught how to use their voices to generate positive responses in other people. But fewer people learn the power of whining. ObjectionsLet me explain. Everyone who has set out to persuade another person, whether professionally or otherwise has run into objections. Objections are a person’s reason not to do what you’re endeavoring to persuade them to do. Dealing with objections is a natural part of the persuasion process, and you have a choice about when to deal with them. They tell you about what your influence subject is thinking, & can give you information about their needs. You can deal with objections…

before they arise, or… after they arise

Dealing with objections before they ariseThe great advantage of dealing with objections before they arise is…they don’t arise! Here’s how you do it:

Predict the objection or objections that your influencee is most likely to have, then…

State the objection in an unpleasant tonality (whining, for instance), eg. “Some people say ‘eeeehhhh that’s so much money’ but I know that you’ll appreciate the great value that you’re going to get from this.”

(Throughout this tip, when you see something in normal italics, hear it in a whining tone of voice).

It’s as simple as that. Unconsciously, no-one wants to associate themselves with the whiny voice, so they disassociate themselves from their objection. I’ve taught this method to a number of people, and some of them say – “I can’t imagine myself using that silly tone of voice when I talk to my clients”, but I know that you can already appreciate just how powerful this is going to be for you. NB – This is one


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place where bad tonality is really important – this method of inoculating against objections relies on it.

Some people like to state the objection in a silly or funny tone of voice, and that will have a certain amount of impact. But the real power comes when you allow yourself to make the tonality painful. You know those people who have a voice like a dental drill? This is the ultimate tonality to use for whiny voiced inoculation.

1) Identify an objection that you have had from someone, or that you regularly get. Then state it in a painfully whiny voice.

Any objection will do:

“It’s too expensive” “I haven’t done that before” “It’s not a good time right now” “I’m too busy” “It’s too risky” When people buy our products, I recommend that they practice the new techniques and approaches they learn on a daily basis, because practice is the foundation of a high level of skill. Before I even mention it, though, I say “When I tell people I want them to practice, some of them say ‘Oh no, practicing is hard’, but I know that all of you will recognise the benefit when you build an exquisite level of skill.”

2) Find a way to put the objection in the middle of a longer sentence, only whining on the ‘objectionable’ bit.

Examples might include:

Some people say “It’s too expensive”, but I know that you can appreciate what a valuable investment in your future this is.

More timid people say “I haven’t done that before”, but I know that you have a passion for adventure.

Some people say “It’s not a good time right now”, but I know that you can see just how important it is to get this done promptly.

Disorganised people often say “I’m too busy”, but I know that you recognise the value of taking time for the important things.

There’s always someone who says “It’s too risky”, but I know that you recognise you have to speculate to accumulate.


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3) Brainstorm a list of the objections you get most frequently (most front line salespeople get the same 5 or 6 again & again). Then practice using whiny-voiced inoculation to eliminate them.

Experience shows that you can actually be quite outrageous with this stuff, so find a friend to practice with until it becomes natural for you. The, try it out in some bona fide influence situations.

If you want to find out how to deal with objections after they arise, it’s one of the subjects covered in our CD set, Ethical Influence with NLP This is a complete recording of a 3-day training we ran last year, and it covers lots of the areas that are too advanced to include in the tips. Just go to Ethical Influence with NLP to get more information and place your order now.

Business EssentialsBusiness contexts are where I use this technique most frequently. Some people say to me “I can’t believe you use this with business people”, but you’d be stunned at what you can do when you are congruent & believe in what you’re offering.


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#9 – Use the Power of Negation

Don’t think of a purple rhinoceros. Don’t imagine it wearing a top hat and tap-dancing on a tightrope. While wearing a tutu.

Difficult isn’t it. That’s because negatives (the “don’t” in this case) are processed differently in language than they are neurologically. This is because the unconscious mind turns words into internal experiences (images, sounds, smells, tastes & feelings) in order to make sense of them. When I say “Don’t think of a purple rhinoceros”, you need to think of one just to understand what I’m telling you not to think of. (There is one situation where I can say “Don’t think of a purple rhinoceros” and you won’t – I’ll tell you at the end of this tip.)

The great news is, you can use this to great effect for persuasion & influence.

I’m not going to tell you how to get a big discount…As human beings, we’re alert to people trying to impose their will on us. We have a natural resistance to being persuaded. One of the most powerful things about negation is that it can allow someone to relax their resistance. If I’m negotiating with someone, and I say “I’m not going to tell you to give me a big discount, because that would be rude”, a couple of interesting things happen: first of all, the “not” lets them relax – I’m not going to tell them, so they don’t have to resist. Secondly, I plant the idea of them giving me a big discount in their mind. This is one of the quickest and easiest ways of using negation in you favour. A few more examples:

I’m not going to tell you to come on our trainings, because that’s a decision you have to make for yourself.

I’m not going to tell you to buy our products, because you can make your own mind up.

I’m not going to tell you to have a lot of fun with this pattern!

This next section may not be relevant to youWhen I say something may not be relevant to a person, it makes them pay extra attention so they can see whether it’s relevant or not. They may even polarity respond and go “Oh yeah! I’ll be the judge of what is & isn’t relevant to me” and pay extra special close attention.

Examples:

This may not be relevant to you, but a telesales company used one of the patterns on our influence cards to double an agent’s success rate.

This may not be relevant to you, but our products have helped other companies just like yours to hit their targets.

This may not be relevant to you, but many people have had a lot of fun becoming more influential by using this pattern!


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Business EssentialsThe language of influence is absolutely key in business, whether a person is in a frontline sales role, leading and managing others, or looking to improve relationships with their colleagues.

The examples in this week’s tip have been taken from our Irresistible Influence Cards.

Oh, and the situation where you say “Don’t think of a purple rhinoceros” and the person doesn’t? That’s what happens if they don’t know what a rhinoceros is, of course!


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#10 – Keep Developing Your Language Skills

As you may already be aware, our Irresistible Influence Cards have been making quite a splash. In fact as you sit reading this, our valiant admin team are packaging up card decks and mailing them all over the world (well it’s happening as I sit writing this, anyway!) Some people have already received their cards, and I’ve had emails saying all sorts of nice things, so to say thank-you to all our fans, I thought I’d send out some additional tips on how you can use hypnotic influence language more fluently. So I present my top tips for using hypnotic language, whether you’re doing formal hypnosis, sales, influence, or just helping someone to feel good about themselves:

1) Get into rapport

Hypnotic influence language works at an unconscious level, so it’s a good idea to get someone’s unconscious mind to pay attention before you start. One way to get that attention is to get into rapport with them. You can mirror their posture, match their voice pace, or any other observable behaviour. If you want them to go into a trance, you can even talk on their out-breath (this is an incredibly powerful way to get someone into an altered state, so only do it under safe conditions).

Human beings are more likely to follow an instruction from someone they trust. If someone is able to get into rapport with me, I’m much more likely to respond to suggestions they make.

2) Relax and let go

Relax. When you’re in rapport with someone, they’re more likely to pick up on how you’re feeling. When you feel relaxed, then you’re able to be intentional about the states you go into. One of the most paradoxical ways of becoming more influential is to let go of the need for what you’re doing to actually work. This is sometimes called detaching from result. When you detach from result, you become more attractive to other people, which means they become more likely to follow your suggestions.

4) Practice, practice, practice

Practice is the mother of all skill. When you practice, you give your unconscious the chance to learn to do something automatically. Once it’s automatic, then the results you get increase exponentially, because your conscious mind is no longer getting in the way. The ways I’ve found to practice include:

Write out examples of language patterns

Transcribe audio recordings of people using language patterns (nb. the more subtle the person is, the closer you need to listen)

Analyse audio recordings, transcripts or written material using hypnotic language.


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Play games (Eg. by using Irresistible Influence Cards)

Use the patterns in your interactions, and notice what results you get

5) Cultivate a slow head nod

Believe it or not, if you’re in rapport with someone and you nod your head, the other person is likely to do the same thing. Every time the person nods their head, it send an unconscious yes signal through their nervous system. This will continue to develop the process of building agreement. If you want to really crank it up, you could add a tag question, couldn’t you? (Tag questions are those little mini-phrases like ‘isn’t it’, ‘can’t you’ etc that are very tricky to disagree with, aren’t they?)

6) Have fun

The fact is, people learn more when they’re having fun. The more you can create a sense of fun and possibility for yourself around learning, the more quickly you can develop a deep level of skill. That’s why we created Irresistible Influence Cards in the first place: because we know that when you’re having a good time, you learn five times as fast. On our NLP Practitioner training, we use games and other forms of Superlearning to ensure that people have a great time while learning more than you ever thought possible. So find ways to have a great time while you’re learning, and your skill level will go through the roof!

So, those are my tips, in no particular order. Now I wonder how much fun you can have putting them all into practice?

Business EssentialsDo you know what the number one method for communication in modern business is? Language. Face to face, on the phone, via email, letter, or even videoconference. Regardless of the medium, language (both verbal and non-verbal) is still the number one way we can convey our thoughts, needs, and desires to other people.

Yet very few people in business choose to focus on how they use language. The fact that language is the single most prevalent communication method means that a small investment in your language skill can yield a massive result. And the fact that so few people are actually alive to the power of language means that this can give you an extraordinary advantage. So my number one business essential? Develop your language skills.


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More Information


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About the Author

Jamie is author of The NLP Tip, an e-zine which goes to thousands of people around the world each week (available from www.saladltd.co.uk), as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis CardsTM and many other products.

He lives in Leicestershire (UK). When he isn’t helping other people get what they want, he likes going for long walks in the woods, listening to music and reading.

Acknowledgements

I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and other innovative thinkers and teachers. Thanks to anyone whose efforts have made their way into this work.

Specific thanks to…

• Richard Bandler• John Grinder• Joseph Riggio• Eric Robbie• Jo Cooper• Peter Seal• Timothy Leary• Marianne Williamson• Michael Breen• Sháá Wasmund

• Robert Dilts• Sid Jacobson• Jonathan Altfeld• Robert Anton Wilson• Ian Watson• Michael Neill• John La Valle• Paul McKenna• Christina Hall


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Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad Seminars Ltd, as well as the principal trainer. He spent much of the nineties leading large, mission-critical business projects and change programmes. In the process, he found that individual change is the key to collective change, and became fascinated with helping people achieve the results they want. This fascination led him to NLP, and he has spent from 1996 to the present day learning from the finest teachers and materials, and applying what he’s learned. Jamie is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).



Jamie Smart - The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence

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