Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw (Recharge! Renew yourself) “It’s ME time!”
IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS … · IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING YOURSELF...
Transcript of IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS … · IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING YOURSELF...
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
Proprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce or
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IT’S ALL ABOUT ME: WHY PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST IS CRITICAL TO LONG-TERM SUCCESS August 15, 2013
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC, Certified Intrinsic Coach®
Health Management Services Manager
Marsh & McLennan Agency
Minneapolis, MN
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RELATIONSHIP OF WORK AND SELF
Outcomes
Part 1 – Work Side
Part 2 – Self Side
Outcomes
Part 1 – Work Side
Part 2 Self Side
Source: Byrum, Ph.D. / Judgment Index™
RELATIONSHIP OF WORK AND SELF
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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SELF FIRST!
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THE CRISIS OF CAPACITY
• Humans are NOT Computers!
– Continuously, at high speeds, for long periods of time,
running multiple programs at the same time.
Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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CAPACITY AND ENERGY
Energy (n).
The capacity to do work.
4 July 26, 2013 Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
10 hours @ 60% Capacity
= 30 hours of work
8 hours @ 80% Capacity
= 32 hours of work
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THE IMPORTANCE OF ENERGY The New Values Exchange
Values
• Physical Health: Quantity of
energy; renewal for sustainability
• Emotional WB: Quality of
energy; how you feel influences
how you perform
– Core emotional need = to feel
valued
• Mental Clarity: Capacity for
focus (myth of multi-tasking)
• Spiritual Significance: Serving a mission/purpose bigger
than yourself
How to Renew Each Value:
• Physical: food, exercise,
sleep, rest
• Emotional: managing triggers,
cultivating positive emotions
• Mental: Flexible focus, quieting
the mind
• Spiritual: connecting to a
purpose (leaders inspiring
others)
Source: Tony Schwartz (The Energy Project, www.theenergyproject.com)
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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LIFE BALANCE ASSESSMENT
• Example:
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LIFE BALANCE REFLECTION
• Notice your overall perceived balance.
• In looking at your LBW, what stands out for you
• What does balance look like for you? How do you know when
you’re balanced?
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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LBW EXAMPLE
• Initial LBW and 3-months later:
8 July 26, 2013
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THE FRAME
See Feel
Get Do
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Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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THE POWER OF CHOICE
10 July 26, 2013
Source: Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D., The Art of the Question
START
What happened? What’s useful here?
What do I want?
Judger Pit
JUDGER • Automatic
Reactions • Blame-Focused • Win-Lose
Relating
LEARNER • Thoughtful
Choices • Solution-Focused • Win-Win Relating
What can I learn? What is the other person
thinking, feeling, needing and wanting? What am I responsible
for?
What’s possible? What are my choices?
What’s best to do now?
Who is to blame?
Why am I such a failure?
Why are they so stupid?
What’s wrong with me?
What’s wrong with them?
Switching Lane
SWITCH Ask Learner ?S to avoid Judger Pit
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RECOGNIZING THE RUTS
• Continuous growth and learning is essential to living powerfully.
• Are you stuck in your ways or in a rut?
– Are your habits/stories/judgments serving you?
– What are you gaining by holding onto your old ways?
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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TOP 20 VS. BOTTOM 80
• Bottom 80s:
- Change nothing
- Change what we do
- Blame (need to be right)
• Top 20s:
- Get Curious
- Change how we SEE it
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Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
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HOW WE SEE THINGS
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Source: Paul Bernabei (www.top20training.com)
Above the Line
Below the Line
• Positive view on life and how we see the world
• Energetic moods and emotions
• Positive attitudes & beliefs • Hopeful and optimistic • Power to control my life
• Negative view on life and how we see the world
• Depressing moods and emotions
• Negative attitudes & beliefs • Hopeless and pessimistic • Powerless victim of life
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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THE SELF-DECEPTION BOX
• How I Start to See
MYSELF:
– Victim
– Hard Working
– Important
– Fair
– Sensitive
• How I Start to See
OTHERS:
– Lazy
– Inconsiderate
– Unappreciative
– Insensitive
– Faker
14 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
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RECOGNIZING WHEN YOU’RE IN THE SELF-DECEPTION BOX
15 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
What Other Person Does Doesn’t complete a project
on time
Alan
What I See Irresponsible Disrespectful
Distracted Lazy
What I Do
Discipline Harshly Criticize
Micro-Manage Stop Giving Projects
Rosie
What Other Person Sees
Dictatorial Disrespectful
Devaluing Nosey
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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SELF-DECEPTION IN ORGANIZATIONS
• Symptoms of Self-Deception:
– Lack of Motivation
– Lack of Commitment
– Stress
– Communication Problems
• *Organizations are severely crippled by these
symptoms but often don’t even know they’re carrying
the “germ” causing them.
16 Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
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GETTING OUT OF YOUR SELF-DECEPTION BOX • Don’t try to be perfect. Do try to be better
• Don’t look for others’ boxes. Do look for your own.
• Don’t’ accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box
yourself.
• Don’t give up on yourself when you discover you’ve been in the box.
Do keep trying.
• Don’t deny that you’ve been in the box when you have been. Do
apologize.
• Don’t focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you
can do right to help.
• Don’t worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you
are helping others.
Source: The Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self Deception (2010)
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
Proprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce or
distribute without permission from Marsh &
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IMPORTANCE OF RESILIENCY
• Characteristics of Resilient People: – Don’t sweat the small stuff.
– Able to be at their best and maintain a sense of balance when faced with “big stuff” or major challenges.
– They are flexible but durable and have a better ability to “go with the flow”
– They come back stronger in the face of adversity.
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WHO’S REALLY RUNNING YOUR LIFE?
CORE:
• My True Self
• Worth from who I am as a human
• My greater purpose
Circumference:
• Busy, multi-tasking
• Reacting to others OPO
OPA
OPE
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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Don’t SHOULD on me!
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BUILDING RESILIENCY
• Put things into perspective.
• Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth.
• Practice acts of gratitude.
• Life in the present moment.
• Pay it forward.
• Stop Settling!
• Give yourself a break.
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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LIVING WITH INTENTION
• YOU must come first!
• “What am I wanting for myself in THIS MOMENT?”
• Make small, incremental changes
• Ask for the support you need
– Proactively offer support for others
• Give yourself credit for even small changes.
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“SHAKING THE TREE” STORY
• When will you know you’ve had enough and what will
it take for you to start living with intention?
• Do you wait for life to happen or do you create it?
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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PERFECTION IS RESERVED FOR FAIRYTALES…
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BALANCE ISN’T STATIC!
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Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
Proprietary & Confidential. Do not reproduce or
distribute without permission from Marsh &
McLennan Agency. © 2013. All Rights Reserved.
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THE GREMLIN EFFECT
• The Gremlin: – The part of us that hates change, that prefers the status
quo, that would just assume keep us small in our lives.
– Acknowledge the Gremlin for what it is and then get clear about what is most important to you.
“The chief cause for failure and unhappiness is trading what we want MOST for what we want NOW.” ~Zig Ziglar
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LESSONS FROM A 2 YEAR-OLD
27 July 26, 2013
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Rosie Ward, Ph.D., MPH, MCHES, BCC Certified Intrinsic Coach®, Certified Valuations Specialist
Health Management Services Manager
Marsh & McLennan Agency
[email protected], (763) 548-8861
www.rjfagencies.com
www.DrRosieWard.com
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