JUN

E 1999

ISSUE

: 11V

OL

. 1

OUR STAFF

PUBLISHER..................................................ED BURTON

PRESIDENT..................................................ED BURTON

VICE PRESIDENT..........................................ED BURTON

PHOTOGRAPHY.............................................ED BURTON

REPORTER....................................................ED BURTON

WRITER.......................................................ED BURTON

GRAPHICS....................................................ED BURTON

SECURITY....................................................ED BURTON

ANIMAL TRAINER........................................ED BURTON

SPECIAL EFFECTS.........................................ED BURTON

PROMOTIONS...............................................ED BURTON

KING..........................................................ED BURTON

KEY GRIP....................................................ED BURTON

ASSISTANT TO MR. BURTON..........................ED BURTON

SCOUT.........................................................ED BURTON

MOST LIKELY TO GET SUED...........................ED BURTON

CAPTAIN OF THE USS

ENTERPRISE........................................JAMES T. KIRK

LEADER OF THE

AUTOBOTS..........................................OPTIMUS PRIME

THE PLACE FOR SMILES..............................EAT’n’PARK

Thanks to Aaron Steckleberg who has contributed

many graphics as well as other art over the

weeks. He now lives around the corner from

hookers in another state. Sorry this took so long

to get out. That apology goes to everyone. I've

been slackin’, I'm allowed, so fuck off.

Copyright 1999 The Door From HellAll Rights Reserved.Some photos have been taken fromother places, and are copyrighted bythe places they were stolen from.

TABLE OFCONTENTS

1...........................................People in Charge of Something

2....................................................................Table of Contents

3....................................................................The Shaft Page

4..........................From the “Where are they Now Files?” PART II

5...........................................................Summer Blockbusters

6.............................................................................Why 2k?

7/8.......................................................... ...............Centerfold

9.........................................................................SkyCar

10................................................Letters from those who can read.

11................................................................White Trash

12..........................................................Film Festival

13..........................................................Capo Crunch

14.....................................................The Last Page

HEY!From here on in, if you want to continue getting this fine publication,

you’re gonna have to send me stamps. Send as many stamps for as manyissues you want. So like, if you send 3 stamps, I’ll send you 3 issues.

Thanks. (those that have sent stamps already, I’M KEEPING TRACK!

THE

PAGESean Michaels is the most successfulblack man in porno history, a hardworking stud who has parlayed a tirelessproduction schedule into one of thelongest-running carnal careers of anyAfrican-American performer He's awell-muscled stud with a sly grin thatlets audiencesknow that he'squite aware ofjust how goodhe's got it. Sean'sb o y i s h g o o dl o o k s h a v eproven to beirresistible toporno starlets foralmost a decadenow, and there'sno reason tosuspect that he'splanning to slowdown anytimesoon. Sean was bornAndre Allen inBrooklyn, NewYork. He movedout West in 1989determined tobreak into the porno racket, but littledid he know what an impact he'd endup making. Sean's stellar woodsmanshipgot him noticed almost immediately,while hisabove-average acting skills enabled himto land roles that hadn'tpreviously gone to black actors. He hasrun into racism in the industry, though,with many white actresses refusing towork with him. Sean's also been editedout of several vids by squeamishdirectors who were afraid to unleash

such hardcore interracial on theiraudiences. (There's supposedly a classicSean/Ashlyn Gere tryst lying on someone's editingroom floor, for instance.) Sean moved behind the camera in1993 to helm the "Sean Michaels On

The Road" series,and he showed agreat eye and aknack for bringingthe best out of hisperformers. Sincethen, Sean's effortsas a producer anddirector have kepthim at the forefrontof black-themedand interracialsexvids. His "UpYour Ass" flicksare some of thehottest anal-themedf l i cks on themarket, while hisd i r e c t i n g i nfeatures like "InLoving Color #01" and "Mac'in #01& 02" has lifted the

bar for black-centered productions.The star of over 700 hardcore featuresand one of the most talented directorsin the biz, Sean Michaels is deservedlythe most famous black stud to everappear in porn. He's a member of theAVN Hall of Fame and a two-timewinner of the Fans Of X-RatedEntertainment Male Favorite Award(1996 & 1997).

FROM THE “WHERE ARE THEY NOW?” FILESTIFFANY BRISSETTE (b. 1974)

Former occupation: Robot girl Vicki Lawson on terribly weird 1985-89 sitcom, Small Wonder.

Last seen: Reader b.dunn@pop.netaddress.com reports, " ...[Today] TIFFANY BRISSETTE looks like a younger and pretty LEAH REMINI and wears dark amber sunglasses most of the time ... She horsebacks in the mountains and has a nice ocean-view flat ... She's working for a teaching license in drama and sings at congregations like ROBERT SCHULLER's. She does voices for cartoons and coaches at local playhouses. ... The chick's a real seafood addict and puts away a bucket of shrimp, oysters and scallops at one shot -- and it doesn't show one gram on her fabulous frame." For more robot girl fun, check out Memories of TIFFANY BRISSETTE and The Unofficial Small Wonder Home Page.

BUTCH PATRICK (b. 1953)

Former occupations: Curling up with doll Woof Woof as pointy-eared, pint-sized ghoul Eddie Munster on The Munsters (1964-66); starring as Mark, the boy stranded in the land of hats, on trippy Sid & Marty Krofft kids show, Lidsville (1971-73).

Last seen: Recording the single, "Whatever Happened to Eddie?" (1983); living with his family in St. Petersburg, Florida; keeping The Munsters flame alive, via his official Website.

DANNY PINTAURO (b. 1976)

Former occupation: Playing preppy kid Jonathan Bower on Who’s the Boss?

Last seen: Pintauro, who made tabloid headlines by declaring Ellen-style, "Yup, I'm gay," is a 1998 graduate of Stanford University, where he directed student theater. One production, Shakespeare's Sonnets, is available on video through the Stanford Channel. Do a program search for 1998 Original Winter One Acts. For lots o' Danny info, check out the DANIEL PINTAURO FAQ.

http://members.tripod.com/~former_child_star/index.html

SUMMERMOVIESWith the summercomes a slieu of newblockbuster movies.So here are just a fewof the, no doubt,classics to be, that wehave to look forwardto in the comingmonths.

Left: A scene from the newjAdam Sandler movie, BigDaddy, where Sandler babysits a bunch of rowdy kids,who lead him on a crazyadventure where they runinto some bad guy, and getrescued by a big tow truckdriver named Thor.

Right: Tom Cruise, andNicole Kidman (shown here)are back in the final movieof Stan Kubrick’s career, andlife. Better crank up the AC,because Eyes Wide Shut looksto be one of this summer’sHOTTEST!

Left: And we can’t forgetthe love story. In this latest“chick flick” the maincharacter claims he willnever get married, butfalls hopelessly in lovewith an old flame. TheIdeal Husband opens inJuly.

WHY 2K?Suits in Dispute

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.)estimates that from 65 to 80lawsuits related to Y2K havebeen filed and fears thenation's courts will face a"tidal wave of litigation"next year because ofelectronic disruptionscaused when many softwareprograms using two-digitdate fields read "00" not as2000 but as 1900.

McCain, joined by Sens.Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) andChristopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), is sponsoringlegislation, scheduled fordebate in the Senate today,that would limit class actionlawsuits and punitivedamages in the event Y2Kfailures prevent companiesfrom fulfilling their contractsand providing requiredservices or supplies.

But there appears to be noprecise accounting of howmany class action suits havebeen filed.

Robert Holleyman,

president of the BusinessSoftware Alliance, recentlysaid he knew of onlytwo. Congressional aidesclaim about a third of the 80suits filed are believed to beclass actions.

Only one case has beencertified as a national classaction, however. In May,Sage Software Inc. ofCalifornia agreed to thecertification, which coverspurchasers of an accountingsoftware program sold from1990 through February 1998.

Versions of the softwarecannot process dates afterDec. 31, according to the lawfirms that brought the suit.Sage Software generalcounsel MatthewCavanaugh said thecompany would notcomment on matters underlitigation.

- The Washington Post

Passengers: 4

Cruise Speed/Top Speed

Max Rate ofclimb

Max Range:

Payload w/max fuel

FuelConsumption

OperationalCeiling

Gross Weight

Engine Power(8x120hp)

Dimensions(LxWxH)

Takeoff andlanding area

Noise leveel at500 ft

Vertical takeoffand landing

Usesautomotive gas

Emergencyparachutes

350/390mph

7800fpm

900miles

740lbs

15mpg

30,000ft2400Lbs

960hp

18’x9’x6’

35 ftdia

65dba

yes

yes

yes

Moller has developed, built, and flown atwo passenger prototype model of avolantor. This volantor is a new type ofaircraft that combines the performance ofairplane and the VTOL capability ofhelicopters in a single vehicle without thelimitations. Here’s some stats on the 4passenger model.

• The rotapower engine is multi-fuelcapable. Engines are typically configuredto run on unleaded gasoline. We haverecently demonstrated the engines abilityto run on diesel to the Army and on NaturalGas to another organization.

• A computer does the flying. The pilotneed only move the controls in thedirection he wants to go so that little skillis required. Though it is easy to fly, theoperator will need to have a private pilot'slicense until the ease of operation andsafety are thoroughly demonstrated.

• In limited production (500 units peryear) the M400 Skycar will sell for a pricecomparable to that of a four passengerhigh performance helicopter or airplane,approximately $1 Million. As the volumeof production increases substantially, itsprice can approach that of a luxuryautomobile.

www.moller.com

LETTERS

FROM OUR

READERS

Dear DFH:

What can I say? Your publication makes melaugh, makes me cry, tugs at myheartstrings and slaps me silly.

Maybe yunz wanna southern bureau?

Dr. Serious Savannah, GA

Good to hear from you Dr. S. keep intouch...and sure. you’ve just been elected byyour superiors as the chief of the southernbranch. Your new title isDr. Serious: Yo-Yo In Charge of SouthernThings...’n’at.

Send comments to: doorfromhell@hotmail.com, orthe address on the back.

Garbage Pail Kidof the Month

Name: Nasty Nick

Twin: Evil Eddie

Number: 1a/1b (1st Series)

TheCANS in FILM

FESTIVALHere are this year’s Nominees:

(Send Votes to doorfromhell@hotmail.com)

Jennifer Aniston Jenny McCarthy

Pamela Anderson Lee

Denise Richards

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Elizabeth Hurley

administration: the upper-levelpower structure of an organizedcrime Family, composed of theboss, underboss, and consigliere.

associate: an almost-there;someone who works with andfor wiseguys, but who hasn'tbeen sworn in as a member ofthe Family.

babania: Heroin, as in dealing.Lucrative but risky for mobinsiders because if they're busted,long prison terms might compelthem to cut a deal and squeal.

babbo: A dope, idiot, uselessunderling.

b e e f : a c o m p l a i n t o rdisagreement within theorganization, usually discussedduring a sit-down with higher-ups in the Family.

big earner: someone who makesa lot of money for the Family. ALOT of money.

books, the: euphemism formembership in the Family, sincenothing is ever written down.When there is an availability(when someone dies), the booksare "opened." When no one isbeing "made," the books are"closed."

borgata: a crime Family; brugad.

boss: the head of the crimeFamily; he is the only one whogives permission to "whack" or"make" someone, and he makesm o n e y f ro m a l l F a m i l yoperations; synonyms: don,chairman.

Boss of Bosses; Capo di tutticapi: While no one proclaimshimself the Boss of Bossesanymore, the press awards thistitle to whomever they feel is theboss of the strongest of the fiveFamilies of New York, who is alsosaid to preside over Commissionmeetings.

broken : demoted in rank;"knocked down."brugad: a crime family; borgata.

burn: to murder; synonyms:break an egg, clip, do a piece ofwork, hit, ice, pop, put out acontract on, whack.

button: a "made" member of theMafia; soldier, wiseguy, goodfella,Man of Honor.

c a f o n e : a p h o n y o rembarrassment to himself andothers ; "gavone" ( s langpronunciation)

capo: ranking member of aFamily who heads a crew (orgroup) of soldiers; a skipper, shortfor capodecina.

Capo di tutti capi: see Boss ofBosses

chased: to be banished from theM a f i a a n d b a r re d f ro massociating or doing businesswith any made members. Thepunishment is merciful in thatthe offender isspared death.

cleaning: taking the necessarysteps (driving around, stoppingin various locations) to avoidbeing followed.

clip : to murder; see burn

clock: to keep track of someone'smovements and activities.

comare : a Mafia mistress;"goumada" (slang pronunciation).

come in: To go see the boss whensummoned.

Commission, The: the Mafia"ruling body", typically a panelmade up of the bosses of the fiveNew York Families, Gambino,Genovese, Lucchese, Colombo,and Bonanno sometimes withrepresentatives from other U.S.Families, such as Chicago.

compare: crony, close pal, buddy.Literally, "godfather" in Italian.

consigliere: the counselor in acrime Family; advises boss andhandles disputes within theranks.

contract: a murder assignment.

Cosa Nostra: Italian for "thisthing of ours," a mob family, theMafia.

crew: a group of soldiers thattakes orders from a capo.

cugine: a young toughguylooking to be made.

do a piece of work: to murder;see burn.

earner: someone whose expertiseis making money for the Family.

empty suit: someone withnothing to offer who tries to hangaround with mobsters.

enforcer: a person who threatens,maims, or kills someone whodoesn't cooperate with Familyrules or deals.

fence: someone with worldwideoutlets to liquidate swag.

friend of mine: introduction ofa third person who is not amember of the Family but whocan be vouched for by a Familymember.

friend of ours: introduction ofone made member to another.

gavone: see cafone.

get a place ready: To find a burialsite.

gift: A bribe, sometimes for ajuror.

give a pass: To grant a reprievefrom being whacked.

going: About to be whacked.

going south: stealing, passingmoney under the table, going onthe lam.

goombah, goomba, gumba:Sicilian slang for the Italiancompare; plural: goombata

goumada: see comare.

Talk like a capo (A-G)

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