Interpersonal Understanding and Comforting
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Transcript of Interpersonal Understanding and Comforting
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InterpersonalInterpersonal
Understanding Understanding and and
ComfortingComforting
Understanding Understanding and and
ComfortingComforting
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Empathy is the Empathy is the process of process of
identifying with the identifying with the feelings of others.feelings of others.
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Approaches to EmpathyApproaches to Empathy
• Empathic Responsiveness
• Perspective Taking
• Sympathetic
Responsiveness
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Empathy – Empathy – identifying with or vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another
Empathic response – Empathic response – an emotional response parallel to another person’s actual or anticipated display of emotion
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Perspective Perspective TakingTaking
Imaging oneself in the place of another
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Sympathetic Sympathetic ResponsivenessResponsiveness
Feeling concern, compassion, or sorrow for another because of the other’s situation or plight
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How do we Empathize?How do we Empathize?• Actively attend to what the person is saying.
• Observe and understand both verbal and nonverbal messages, using paraphrases and perception checking to help you.
• Draw on your experience to understand the situation.
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ParaphrasingParaphrasing
Put your understanding of a message into words to clarify meaning.Content – conveys understanding of
the denotative meaningFeeling – conveys your
understanding of the speaker’s connotative meaning
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EmpathizingEmpathizing• Can be particularly difficult across
cultures.
• Cross-cultural communication requires us to be even more attentive to verbal and non-verbal clues than we normally would.
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Supporting – Supporting – a statement whose goal is to show approval, bolster, encourage, soothe, console, or cheer up
• Recognize others’ good feelings and affirm their right to have them.
• Give comfort when a person has negative feelings.
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Effective Support MessagesEffective Support Messages
• Clearly state the aim to help the other
• Express acceptance, love, and affection for the other
• Demonstrate care, concern, and interest in the other’s situation
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Effective Support Messages (2)Effective Support Messages (2)
• Indicate that the speaker is available to listen and support the other
• State that the speaker is an ally
• Acknowledge the other’s feelings and situation and express sincere sympathy
• Assure the other that feelings are legitimate
• Encourage the other to elaborate
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Ineffective Support MessagesIneffective Support Messages
• Condemn and criticize the other’s feelings and behavior
• Imply that the other’s feelings are not warranted
• Tell the other how to feel
• Focus attention on the speaker
• Intrude by representing a level of concern greater than is appropriate within the relationship
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Supportive Message SkillsSupportive Message SkillsWe can all benefit from training in the six
supportive message skills (identified by Brian Burleson):
• Clarifying supportive intentions• Buffering face threats (negative and positive)• Using Other-centered messages• Framing messages• Giving advice
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Clarifying Supportive IntentionsClarifying Supportive Intentions
• Directly state your intentions by emphasizing your desire to help
• Remind your partner of your commitment to the relationship
• Indicate that helping is your only motive
• Phrase your clarification in a way that reflects helpfulness.
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Buffering Face ThreatsBuffering Face ThreatsPositive Facework messages protect the partner’s need to be respected, liked, and
valued.
• Describe and convey positive feelings about what the other has said and done
• Express your admiration for their courage• Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation• Express your belief that the other has the
qualities and skills needed to endure
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Buffering Face Threats (2)Buffering Face Threats (2)Negative facework messages support the
partner’s need for independence and autonomy.
• Ask for permission before giving advice• Verbally defer to the opinions and
preferences of the other person• Use tentative language to hedge and qualify
opinions and advice
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Using Other-Centered MessagesUsing Other-Centered Messages
• Ask questions that prompt the person to elaborate on what happened
• Emphasize your willingness to listen to an extended story
• Use vocalized encouragement and non-verbal behavior to communicate continued interest
• Affirm, legitimize, and encourage exploration of feelings expressed by partner
• Demonstrate the you understand but avoid changing the focus to you.
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Interpreting (Framing)Interpreting (Framing)
Information andExperiences
Reframes information to help the other understand from a different perspective
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Giving AdviceGiving Advice• Advice giving messages present
relevant suggestions that a person could use to satisfactorily resolve a situation.
• In general, advice messages should not be expressed until our supportive intentions are fully understood.
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