INTERPERSONAL

PROCESSES

Interpersonal Attraction

• Proximity– We need to meet someone before we can

become attracted to them

• Interpersonal rewards– Social exchange theory

• I receive more from a relationship than I give

Interpersonal Attraction

• Similarity– We are attracted to those like ourselves– Social economic station in life

• Physical Attractiveness– Matching hypothesis states that we tend to mate

with those similar to ourselves in measures of attractiveness

Love

• Passionate love– High emotional state

– Intense physiological arousal

– Absorption in another person

• Companionate Love– Deep affection

– Friendship

– Emotional intimacy

– Develops over time

Triangular Theory of Love

• Intimacy– Feelings of closeness

• Passion– Sensual arousal

• Commitment– Dedication to the other person and to the

relationship

Evolutionary Perspective

• Feelings and behaviors we associate with love serve to lead to reproductive success

• Romantic love is an adaptation that fosters successful passing on of our genetic code

Sexual Strategies

• Men can maximize their reproductive success by having as many partners as possible, thus passing his genetic code to a number of children– Short term sexual partner

– Long term romantic mate

• Women maximize their reproductive success by being very selective and finding mates with ample resources to support their offspring– Short term and long term is the same partner

Romantic Love

• Attachment theory suggests romantic love serves to bond us to one special other person

• Sense of security with this special someone

Maintaining Relationships

• We tend to weigh the costs of maintaining versus ending a relationship– If more pleasure than pain we remain

• We consider the options of forming a new relationship

Maintaining Relationships

• Those in successful long term relationships tend to:

• Learn how to fight fairly

• Give benefit of the doubt to their partner

• Learn to let go of the negative stuff

• Reframe other’s faults

• Idealize partner (positive illusions)

Dark Side of Relationships

• Those we love the most can cause us the deepest pain

• Ostracism– Silent treatment by partner or others we love

Altruism

• Altruism – Involves behaviors that help other people with

no apparent gain, or with potential cost, to oneself

• No pain, however slight, then not altruistic?

• Ethical Hedonism– All behavior, no matter how apparently

altruistic, is-and should be-designed to increase one’s own pleasure or reduce one’s own pain

Altruistic or Ethical Hedonism

• Helping another study for an exam

• Donating to a charity

• Giving change to a street beggar

• Friend, potential dating partner, team member, stranger

• Charity addresses a family illness

• Giving to the poor one of your faith’s central tenants

Evolutionary Perspective on Altruism

• Focus on reproductive success

• All behavior revolves around preserving our genetic code through reproductive success

• We act in altruistic fashion for our own kin but not towards strangers

Bystander Intervention

• Multistage model for helping a stranger in distress includes:– Notice an emergency– Interpret event as an emergency– Assume personal responsibility to intervene– Decide how to intervene– Actually intervene

• Kitty Genovese (1964) & her 38 neighbors

Bystander Intervention

• Diffusion of responsibility

– The presence of others leads us not to intervene

– Let someone else do it

– We don’t want to get exposed to harm

– We don’t want to become embarrassed

Aggression

• Aggression– Verbal or physical behavior aimed at harming

another person or living being

• Hostile Aggression– Aggression elicited by anger

• Instrumental Aggression– Aggression designed to serve a purpose or goal

Violence and Culture

• Aggression varies across cultures - USA on top

• Culture of honor– Small disputes grow into violence because participants

want to save face and status

• Men are more likely to exhibit physical violence

• Women are more likely to exhibit verbal violence

Roots of Violence

• Instincts– Aggression is inborn and triggered by threat,

frustration, or anger

• Evolution– Violence serves goals of survival and reproduction

• Biological– Excess testosterone & low levels of serotonin

Roots of Violence

• Cognitive theory – Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis suggests that

violence is forthcoming when we become frustrated

• Cognitive–Social Perspective– Activation of aggression is triggered when we perceive

social rewards for being aggressive

– We are not violent when we perceive the cost of being so is to great

General Aggression Model

• Individual dispositions interact with situational variables to determine whether aggressive behavior will be forthcoming

• Capacity for aggression appears to be innate

• Activation of aggression depends on culture and learning

Social Influence

• Social Influence– The effects of the presence of others on the way people

think, feel and behave

• Self-Fulfilling Prophecies– Tendency of individuals to alter their efforts in order to

fulfill their own or others expectations

• Obedience– Compliance with authority

Conformity

• Conformity– Altering attitudes or behavior to accommodate

the standards of peers or groups– It is very difficult to be a lone voice in a crowd– Most of us would rather conform than be alone

• Culture and Conformity– Collective societies such as Japan elicit more

conformity than individualist societies such as the USA

Group Processes

• Group– A collection of people whose actions affect the other

group members

• Norms– Standards of behavior– “We” don’t smoke

• Roles– Norm specific behavior for those in role– Role of a judge in a trial

Group Processes

• Task Leaders– Responsible for ensuring that the group completes its

tasks

• Social-emotional leaders– Try to keep the group working cohesively and with

minimal conflict

• Social facilitation– Influence of groups on individual performance– We tend to play harder on winning teams than losing

teams

Leadership

• Leadership– Involves exerting greater influence than other members

of the group

– Leaders may be task oriented or relationship oriented

– The mix of task and relationship focus is contingent upon the organization

• Task- Production plant

• Relationship- Professional setting

Everyday Social Influence

• Principle of reciprocity

– We do for (to) others what they have done, or failed to do, for us

– If someone has done a lot for us then we are much more likely to do something for them, whether we actually want to or not

Door-in-face technique– We ask someone for something that we know they will

reject

– They reject first request

– We then come back with a much smaller request

– Target more likely to comply with second request

• Son to parent- Will you buy me a new car?• Parent-No• Son- Ok how about a pizza for dinner?• Parent- Ok

Low Balling

• Offer a very low price

• Customer accepts

• Then start to add on “extras”

Principle of Liking

• We tend to conform to requests from people we like

• Basis of Mary Kay Cosmetics phenomena– You are asked to buy cosmetics from a friend

that you have invited into your home