Ashlee Johnson Interpersonal Communication Fall 2009 Social Exchange Theory, in the context of Interpersonal Communication, refers to

relationships and the fact that humans are motivated by costs and rewards when assessing their

satisfaction in any given relationship. The satisfaction felt in a relationship can be at varying

degrees, and the two people in that relationship can certainly feel different levels of satisfaction

at different stages. The general equation to determine one’s satisfaction through Social Exchange

Theory is the Rewards minus the Costs will equal the current level of Satisfaction (R-C=S). I

have decided to analyze the level of satisfaction in the relationship between my current boyfriend

Ryan and I using Social Exchange Theory.

Ryan and I have been together for about two and a half months, and we met where we

both work, at Target. I would personally say that my level of satisfaction in our relationship is

very high right now and pretty much has been since we got together in late July, and based off of

Ryan’s words and actions when we’re together, I would contend that he too is very satisfied with

our relationship. For the most part, we are a pretty equal partnership in terms of money and

power. He is more traditional and conservative than I am, so sometimes it’s hard for him to let

me help pay for things or for him to let me take care of him, but in the end he benefits from my

help and understands more why I want things to be fairly equal between us. That being said,

ultimately I am a typical girly-girl and like to be taken care of, so we are also both usually

satisfied when he takes control and assumes a more dominant role. We both benefit through our

mostly equal sharing of money and power in our relationship.

Furthermore, our physical connection is very strong as well. We are very attracted to each

other, and my level of satisfaction physically is quite high with Ryan. Again, based off of his

actions and words when we engage in physical contact, I would bet that he too is very satisfied

with our exchange of intimacy. We both enjoy talking a lot and often have long conversations

both in person and on the phone, sometimes getting into heated but respectful debates about our

differences, which usually include a lot of self-disclosures as well. Because of our equal amount

of self-disclosures, we have a high level of intimacy, both physical and emotional, which is

extremely satisfying for both of us.

Just because thus far we have a high level of satisfaction in our relationship, that’s not to

say that we are perfect and won’t have our big blow-up arguments, which I’m sure is something

we have to look forward to in the future! Social Exchange Theory can also predict conflict in

relationships from many aspects. If the costs someone incurs are higher than the rewards in a

certain relationship, they will almost surely experience conflict while either trying to balance out

the costs and rewards, or giving up on trying. Also, conflict can occur when there is inequality or

unfairness in the relationship, when one partner believes they are not being treated fairly or when

one or both partners are not getting the rewards they believe they should be. Lastly, conflict can

take place when someone compares their own relationship status with that of someone else in a

similar situation, because they will almost always feel as though their relationship is inadequate

if the other person’s relationship is going well and they are very satisfied. Like I said before,

although Ryan and I luckily haven’t really experienced any major conflicts yet in our time

together, thanks to this class I am now more aware of how easily conflict can arise because of

Social Exchange Theory, and I can hopefully do more to avoid or make constructive any conflict

we might encounter. Overall, Social Exchange Theory is very intriguing to apply to any

relationship one is a part of, and it’s interesting to me to see how strongly it connects to people’s

satisfaction levels and how it can change so much over time, especially in my own life.