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Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this...
Transcript of Intentional Conversations for Marriage€¦ · for your next intentional conversation during this...
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ForeverByGrace IntentionalByGrace.com
Leigh Ann Dutton Forever By Grace: A Guide to Intentional Conversations with Your Spouse
a FREE ebook IntentionalByGrace.com
© 2014 All rights reserved.
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Table of Contents
Introduction 4
How to Use This Book 5
I Am Thankful For 6
Relationship Evaluation 7
Have a Little Fun 9
Moving Forward 10
Closing Thoughts 11
About the Author 12
Recommended Resources 13
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Introduction
Marriage is our greatest earthly blessing. God desires for our marriages to be representations of Him - Christ and His Church. A marriage like this takes work. Lots of it!
Susan Hunt says in her book, Your Home a Place of Grace:
Our notions about family are usually shaped more by culture than by Scripture, and we live in a culture of individualism, selfism, and materialism — all of which are hostile to cultivating an environment of grace in our homes.
This book was created to facilitate and encourage intentional conversations in our marriages. The following worksheets will help you determine ways in which you can grow not only as an individual, but also as a couple; thus strengthening your marriage and bringing glory to God.
As we surrender it all to Him, may we experience grace in our marriages and in our homes.
It’s all about the journey and what you’re willing to invest in to make the marriage work.
~Intentional By Grace Reader
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How to Use This Book
Set aside a time, at least three to four times a year, to review these worksheets together. My husband and I try to schedule Intentional Conversations quarterly.
Use the worksheets and exercises in this book to guide you through engaging, purposeful, marriage building conversations. You will need to make double copies of pages 6-9: one for yourself and one for your spouse.
If your children aren’t already occupied, then get them set up with an activity, or wait for naptime (or better yet do this on a date night). You want at least an hour (or more) of uninterrupted time together.
Before you begin, pray together. Ask God to fill each of you with the Holy Spirit. Pray for Him to illuminate the sin in your hearts and point out evidences of grace in your marriage. Pray for a heart of humility, as well the ability to speak the truth in love. Pray that He would bond the two of you together and bring glory to His name.
Then, work through the following worksheets:
I Am Thankful For … Relationship Evaluation Part 1 & 2 Have a Little Fun
Afterward, fill out the Moving Forward worksheet together. This is a time to summarize what you’ve worked through, and agree on some action points. Be sure to set a date for your next intentional conversation during this time.
Finally, finish your time together in prayer. Pray through your prayer requests and thank God for the gift of marriage.
When my husband and I take time to talk about our struggles, temptations, and blessings, we feel more connected.
~Intentional By Grace Reader
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I Am Thankful For …
Write in the lines below, at least ten things you are thankful for about your spouse. Then, share with your spouse each answer. Use this as a time to express gratitude and point out areas of God’s grace in each other’s lives.
For example, the husband starts with sharing his first answer. Then, the wife shares her first answer. Talk about why you are thankful for each thing; share examples for each answer.
1. _____________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________________
I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers.
Ephesians 1:16 (ESV)
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Relationship Evaluation (Part 1)
Complete PPaarrtt 11 and PPaarrtt 22 of the RReellaatt iioonnsshhiipp EEvvaalluuaatt iioonn individually. Then, review answers together.
Our relationship at this time is __________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
Our biggest source of conflict at this time is________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It would help our relationship if I would ___________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
Are you inviting intimacy; are you nurturing tenderness and passion? Explain.______
__________________________________________________________________
What are you doing to let your spouse know you prize him/her above all others? ___
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
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Relationship Evaluation (Part 2)
Please circle the number you feel best describes your relationship at this time in the following categories.
1 = needs significant improvement 3 = okay 5 = needs very little improvement
Seeking the Lord Together………………………………………………………1 2 3 4 5
Praying Together.………………………………………………………………...1 2 3 4 5
Praying for One Another………………………………………………………....1 2 3 4 5
Communication……………………………………………………………..……1 2 3 4 5
Priorities (God, Spouse, Children, etc.)…………………………………………1 2 3 4 5
Conflict Resolution………………………………………………..……………...1 2 3 4 5
Sexual Intimacy………………………………………...………………………....1 2 3 4 5
Emotional Intimacy……………………………….……………………………...1 2 3 4 5
Date Nights……………………………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5
Playing Together (i.e., Are you having fun?) …………………………………...1 2 3 4 5
Creating Memories as a Couple………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5
Creating Memories as a Family………………………………………………….1 2 3 4 5
Helping Each Other with Children……………………………………………...1 2 3 4 5
Faithfulness to Encourage One Another………………………………………..1 2 3 4 5
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Have a Little Fun
Playing together as a couple is essential to a fun, lasting marriage. Additionally, to think that we know everything there is to know about our spouse is to starve ourselves of the mystery of marriage. No two days are the same! No two people are the same! There is still much to learn and discover about one another! So start playing and discover a thing or two about the person sitting next to you.
What are 3 things you can do start playing together more often?
1.__________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________
Need help? Check out 42 Date Night Ideas for the Date Night Challenged.
List 5 things you wish you knew about your spouse.
1.__________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________
4.__________________________________________________
5.__________________________________________________
Examples: What are your favorite books of all time? Why do you like skiing so much? Why do you drape your underwear across the hamper instead of putting it in? What is your favorite meal that I make? What is your biggest fear about the future?
It seems as though we’re always looking at each other and saying, “This is how we know God made us for each other.”
~Intentional By Grace Reader
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Moving Forward
Take a moment to sum it all up together.
List 3 areas to work on.
1._________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________
Share prayer requests.
1._________________________________________________________________
2. ________________________________________________________________
3. ________________________________________________________________
Set a date for your next intentional conversation.
__________ _______, _______ (month) (day) (year)
Every couple struggles from time to time. God is faithful. Trust Him, obey Him and you will be secure.
~Intentional By Grace Reader
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Closing Thoughts
You made it! The first time is the hardest, especially if you aren’t accustomed to talking about these topics on a regular basis. Please, be encouraged. With time, it gets easier, and dare I say, much more fun!
My husband and I love working through these exercises together. We always learn so much, and we walk away filled with hope for our marriage. Don’t be discouraged if you didn’t make it through each question, or you ended with more areas of conflict to resolve. Continue being faithful to pursue one another in love, and pray for God to heal any wounds. He is faithful, friends! We’ve only to ask Him.
We’ll close with the words from a loyal reader of Intentional By Grace …
The best is yet to come!
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning
us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
Philippians 3:12-‐14 (The Message)
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About the Author
Leigh Ann Dutton, owner and editor of Intentional By Grace, whose life goal is to create a home that makes it is impossible to not think about God, loves to blog about intentional living in order to make this goal a reality.
She is the wife to the man of her prayers, Mark, and mama to two loveable little boys, Samuel and Timothy. She takes joy in spending her days creating memorable moments with her husband, conducting kitchen experiments, researching every natural alternative known to man, and making her little boys laugh. She does it all by the grace of God.
Intentional By Grace was launched in April of 2011 as an outflow of her passion to share the gospel and inspire other women to steward all that the Lord has richly blessed them with.
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Resources
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Are you faithful to pray daily for your marriage?
Intentional, scripture-led prayer does not come easily to me. But I believe the habit at the heart of every marriage is prayer.
Maybe you struggle to pray faithfully for your marriage, or maybe you are faithful to pray, but want to grow in praying scripture-based prayers for your marriage.
Either way, I would love for you to join me in a 21-day prayer challenge for your marriage!
Click here to learn more!
I am a busy wife, mother to two small boys, homemaker, mentor to several teenage girls, blogger, and youth leader with my husband at our local church. I wear a lot of hats. Just like you! I am often asked, “How do you get it all done?”
There is one word – PLANNING!
For some, it has never occurred to them to sit down and make a plan for their life, to create a plan to Live for Him. Too many let life pass them by, never considering that what they do today can have a profound impact on tomorrow. Or they’re caught in survival mode; in a season of being so overwhelmed they have no idea how to dig their way out.
The good news is it doesn’t have to be this way!
Click here to learn more!