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W o r djuxtapoz

PATRICK CHAN

Word Juxtapoz: An amazing collection of classic word puzzles

(fourth edition)

Copyright © 2006 Patrick Chan

Design & Layout by Word Juxtapoz®

http://www.wordjuxtapoz.com

Word Juxtapoz is a registered trademark of Patrick Chan

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8

General

The leading two recipes for success are building a better mousetrap and finding a bigger loophole.

Edgar H. Schoaff

9

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If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. X is work, Y is play, Z is keep your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein

10

General

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.

Lily Tomlin

11

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The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.

Proverb

12

General

Loneliness is knowing the television schedules by heart.

Bill Vaughan

13

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Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter

Jack Benny

14

General

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Tom Stoppard

15

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Never try to make people like yourself - you know and God knows, that one of you is enough.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

16

General

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Will Rogers

17

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I can’t think why mothers love them. All babies do is leak at both ends.

Douglas Feaver

18

General

About the time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Herbert Hoover

19

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Perhaps the world’s second-worst crime is boredom; the first being a bore.

Cecil Beaton

20

General

As you go through life you are going to have many opportunities to keep your mouth shut.Take advantage of all of them.

James Dent

21

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Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times - they had nobody to talk about.

Agnes Repplier

22

General

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction - especially on Mondays.

Paul Sweetney

23

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The problem with putting the armour on is that, while it protects you from your pain,it also protects you from pleasure.

Celeste Holm

24

General

Be nice to the people on the way up, because you’ll meet them on your way down.

Wilson Misner

25

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The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence.

Art Linkletter

26

General

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Agatha Christie

27

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.

H.L. Mencken

28

General

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing.

Anonymous

29

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The difference between a hero and a coward is one step sideways.

Gene Hackman

30

General

An optimist is a man who starts a crossword puzzle with a fountain pen.

Anonymous

31

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One good turn gets most of the blanket.

Anonymous

32

General

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet!

Anonymous

33

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Education ... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.

G.M. Trevelyan

34

General

To keep your marriage brimmingWith love in the marriage cup,

Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Ogden Nash

35

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You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

36

General

Conscience is that still, small voice that is sometimes too loud for comfort.

Bert Murray

37

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If you steal from one another, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research.

Wilson Mizner

38

General

Man does not live by bread alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

Adlai Stevenson

39

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Behind every successful man, there stands an amazed woman.

Anonymous

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42

Business

There are some men who, in a fifty-fifty proposition, insist on getting the hyphen also.

Lawrence J. Peter

43

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Boss (to Departmental Head) : How many people work in your office?DEPARTMENTAL HEAD : About half of them, sir.

Gyles Brandreth

44

Business

Committee : a group that keeps minutes but squanders hours.

Anonymous

45

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To get something done a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.

Robert Copeland

46

Business

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application.

Stanley J. Randall

47

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Business is the art of extracting money from another man’s pocket without resorting to violence.

Max Amsterdam

48

Business

Money does make all the difference. If you have two jobs and you’re rich, you have diversified interests.If you have two jobs and you’re poor, you’re moonlighting.

Anonymous

49

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By working eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

Robert Frost

50

Business

Nothing is more inevitable than death than taxes.

Benjamin Franklin

51

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The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

Williams Rogers

52

Business

Bulls make money and bears make money, but pigs seldom do.

Wall Street maxim

53

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Put all your eggs in one basket and - watch that basket.

Andrew Carnegie

54

Business

Buy old masters. They fetch a much better price than old mistresses.

Lord Beaverbrook

55

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Gentlemen prefer bonds.

Andrew Mellon

56

Business

Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, SR

57

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In God we trust. All others pay cach.

Anonymous

58

Business

An accountant is man hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Anonymous

59

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A banker is a man who lends an umbrella when the weather is fair,and takes it away from you when it rains.

Anonymous

60

Business

I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

Anonymous

61

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Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.

Herman Wouk

62

Business

Marketing is simply sales with a college degree.

John Freund

63

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Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you’re doing,but nobody else does.

Steward Henderson Britt

64

Business

The meek shall inherit the world, but they’ll never increase market share.

William G. McGowan

65

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The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase: ‘And now a word from oursponsor.’

Hal Eaton

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68

Law & Politics

Laws are spider webs through which the big flies pass and the little ones get caught.

Honore de Balzac

69

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If there are no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

Charles Dickens

70

Law & Politics

Contract : an agreement that is binding only on the weaker party.

Frederick Sawyer

71

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Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Lord Acton

72

Law & Politics

Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocketand give your coat to your creditors.

Joey Adams

73

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A jury consistes of twelve persons chosen to decide who have the better lawyer.

Robert Frost

74

Law & Politics

Lawyers are the only person in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.

George Savile

75

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If the laws could speak for themselves they would complain of lawyers in the first place.

Jeremy Bentham

76

Law & Politics

A lawyer’s opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.

Enligh Proverb

77

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[Rape] is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused.

Freda Adler

78

Law & Politics

Murder is always a mistake ... One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after.

Oscar Wilde

79

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The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert Humphrey

80

Law & Politics

Political ability is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month andnext year. And to have the ability afterward to explain why it didn’t happen.

Winston Churchill

81

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Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even when there’s no river.

Nikita Krushchev

82

Law & Politics

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Charles De Gaulle

83

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Communism might be likened to a race in which all competitors come in first with no prizes.

Lord Inchape

84

Law & Politics

Communism is like Prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work.

William Rogers

85

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The monarchy is so extraordinarily useful. When Britian wins a battle she shouts,“God saved the Queen”; when she loses she votes down the prime minister.

Winston Churchill

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88

Science

Science is wonderfully equipped to answer the question “How?” but gets terribly confused when youask the question “Why?”.

Erwin Chargaff

89

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Science will never be able to reduce the value of a sunset to arithmetic. Nor can it reduce friendshipor statesmanship to a formula.

Dr. Louis Orr

90

Science

We manipulate nature as if we were stuffing an Alsatian goose. We create new forms of energy; we makenew elements; we will crops; we wash brains. I can hear them in the dark sharpening their lasers.

Erwin Chargaff

91

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In Genesis, seeing the world filled with violence, God decided to drown all mankind except Noah’s family.But because that family carried the same genes as those who had drowned violence continued unabated.

Robert Gorham Davis

92

Science

Humans can learn to like anything, that’s why we are such a successful species.

Jeannette Desor

93

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Atoms for peace. Man is still the greatest miracle and the greatest problem on this earth.

David Sarnoff

94

Science

Research is four things: brains with which to think, eyes with which to see,machines with which to measure and fourth, money.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

95

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Technology .. is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the backwith the other.

C. P. Snow

96

Science

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn’t him, we’d be watching television by candlelight.

Milton Berie

97

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When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove fora minute - and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.

Albert Einstein

98

Science

Two in every one people in this country are schizophrenic.

Graffito

99

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I read in the Reader’s Digest that cigarettes are bad for you. So I had to give up reading the Reader’s Digest.

Anonymous

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102

Sports

Sport must be amateur or it is not sport. Sports played professionally are entertainment.

David Bristol

103

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Sport is the toy department of the human life.

Howard Hale Brown

104

Sports

Winning isn’t everyting, it’s the only thing.

Vince Lombardi

105

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I’m not the greatest; I’m the double greatest. Not only do I knock ‘em out, I pick the round.

Muhammad Ali

106

Sports

Cricket ... You have two sides: one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s ingoes out and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.

Anonymous

107

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Sweat is the cologne of accomplishment.

Heywood Hale Broun

108

Sports

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Bob Hope

109

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There is no dilemma compared with that of the deep-sea diver who hears the message from the shipabove, “Come up at once. We are sinking.”

Robert Cooper

110

Sports

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Jack Lemmon

111

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If you ever get belted and see three fighters through a haze, go after the one in the middle. That’swhat ruined me - I went after the two guys on the end.

Max Baer

112

Sports

In boxing the right to cross-counter is distinctly one of those things: it is more blessed to give than to receive.

P. G. Wodehouse

113

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I went skiing last week and broke a leg. Fortunately, it wasn’t mine.

Anonymous

114

Sports

Look, if you’re in the penalty area and aren’t quite sure what to do with the ball, just stick it in the netand we’ll discuss all your options afterwards.

Bill Shank ly

115

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Some people think football is a matter of life and eeath ... I can assure youit is much more serious than that.

Bill Shankly

116

Sports

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

Vernon Law

117

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I was nervous, so I read the New Testament. I read the verse about have no fear, and I felt relaxed.Then I jumpd farther than I ever jumped before in my life.

Willye White

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120

Leisure

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known,then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

Fred Allen

121

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The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

Henry A. Kissinger

122

Leisure

Fun is like insurance. The older you get, the more it costs.

Kin Hubbard

123

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The mirror tells you the facts, never the poetry.

May Sarton

124

Leisure

The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more.

Max Kauffmann

125

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One wonderful thing about a vacation is that it makes you feel good enough to go back to work andpoor enough so that you have to.

James A. Nix

126

Leisure

An after-dinner speech should be like a woman’s dress: long enough to cover the subject and shortenough to be interesting.

Anonymous

127

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Every novel should have a beginning, a muddle and an end.

Peter De Vries

128

Leisure

In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

Shelley Winters

129

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The kids today are quite right about the music their parents listened to: most of it was trash. Theparents are quite right about what their young listen to: most of it is trash too.

Gene Lees

130

Leisure

I’ve found a great way to start the day - I go back straight to bed.

Anonymous

131

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I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor; rich is better.

Sophia Tucker

132

Leisure

Love ... the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering thatshe looks like a haddock.

John Barrymore

133

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Love is like a war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

H. L. Mencken

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136

Religion

Be ye angry and sin not; let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

Ephesians 4:26

137

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The Devil can quote scriptures for his purpose.

Shakespeare

138

Religion

Atheism is the result of ignorance and pride; of strong sense and feeble reasons; of good eating andill-living. It is the plague of society, the corrupter of manners, and the underminer of property.

Jeremy Collier

139

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By night an atheist half believes in God.

Young

140

Religion

The Scriptures teach us the best way of living, the noblest way of sufferings,and the most comfortable way of dying.

Flavel

141

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Within that awful volume liesThe mystery of mysteries.

Scott

142

Religion

A glory gilds the sacred page,Majestic like the sun,

It gives a light to every age;It gives, but borrows none.

Cowper

143

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Charity shall cover a multitude of sins.

I Peter 4:8

144

Religion

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Hebrews 13:8

145

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The best of manThat ever wore earth about Him was a sufferer,A soft, meek, patient, humble, tranquil spirit,The first true gentleman that ever breathed.

Decker

146

Religion

A Christian in this world is but gold in the ore; at death the pure gold is melted out and separatedand the dross cast away and consumed.

Flavel

147

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