Fall 2018

In the 2006 film Failure to Launch, Matthew

McCaughey plays 35-year-old Tripp—tall, tan,

and… living at home, ‘mooching’ off of his

parents, who are beyond exasperated by his lay

about lifestyle. Many of us are familiar with the

term “Failure to Launch” in the mental health

field, however it is not Trip we are picturing.

The Hollywood version would have us believe

that it only takes a little positive reinforcement

from romantic interests to make one consider

launching we know the real story—it’s often

more nuanced! While this movie is hardly

rooted in any meaningful psychological

research or actual diagnosis, there is

messaging here that is mirrored in the growing

phenomenon we in the behavioral health field

are increasingly seeing: Millennials who live at

home past what is considered a normal age for

entering adulthood and independence face

scrutiny, stigma and are labeled as a failure.

The term “Failure to Launch” incites judgment,

shame, and humiliation. When society blasts

the message that young adults are struggling

with the transition to adulthood, it leads to

a mutual belief that they are incapable of

fostering independence. The implication of this

typecast is that Millennials are viewed as adult

children that are complete letdowns. We all

know that if we are told something repeatedly

over time, we can easily internalize it as

our truth.

If we continue to label Millennials struggling

with the transition to adulthood—whatever

the clinical reason—as walking failures, we

will continue to observe underperformance,

struggle, and dependency. If we continue

to use “Failure to Launch” as terminology

to describe young adults, we will continue

to create ignominy. History demonstrates

repeatedly that in order for change to occur,

we have to begin to challenge biases through

verbiage. Language is incredibly powerful and

can either perpetuate cyclical repression or

create systematic change.

Although this catch phrase is widely

understood and used to describe young adults,

it perpetuates a stereotype that continues to

haunt Millennials each and every day.

How can we change the conversation?

ADVOCATE

ADVOCATE IS THE QUARTERLY NEWSLETTER OF AIM HOUSE

WHERE ACTIONS AND INTENTIONS MERGE

INSIDE

Staff Spotlight:

Kathleen McCarthy pg 5

Parent Workshop at AIM House

pg 7

AIM House Fishing and

Camping Excursion pg 3

CHKIN NUGIT pg 4

Chief Editor:Charlotte Cox

Writers: Writers:

Lily WilkinsonPaulina SiegelEmerson Davis

Stephanie AddissCharlotte Cox

ADVOCATE

Resiliency Training within the Emerging AdultCollaboratively written by Paulina Siegel, MSW, LCSW, CAC II, Lily Wilkinson Edited by Charlotte Cox

Continued on page 6

Fall 2018

Nathan Thomas is a lead mentor at AIM House. He

works one-on-one doing individualized mentorship/

coaching with the participants on his caseload, as well

as spending time in the milieu. In addition to working

with us here in Boulder, Nathan has also been a guide at

a wilderness therapy program in Utah. We’re very lucky

to have diverse and talented staff who can bring their

pervious share their pervious experiences and expertise

with our community!

With summer nearly over and Fall upon us, some

participants took advantage of the nice weather and went

out on a two night camping trip—which quickly turned

fishing trip. A fun time was had by all and it was nice to be

outside and unplugged.

Our journey first took us over Trail Ridge Road, the highest

elevation continuous paved road in the US! We twisted

and winded through forests and high alpine tundra,

through Rocky Mountain National Park eventually making

it from Estes Park to Lake Granby. We saw elk, moose, pikas,

marmots and an Osprey. We scrambled onto rock outcrops

with expansive views of mountain peaks and hanging

glaciers clinging to their sides. After a very scenic lunch,

we headed to lower elevations to try our luck fishing in the

headwaters of the Colorado River. We fished until nightfall

and then headed for camp. We made camp in a quaint

little aspen grove, sitting at an elevation of 9,800 feet in

the mountains, just north of Hot Sulphur Springs, CO. As is

often the case with wilderness program alumni, we chose

to reminisce on the days of sleeping under the stars; most

of us retired to the shelter of tree canopies and allowed the

vast expanse of the Milky Way and the occasional shooting

star to lull us to sleep.

The next morning, participants woke up to the sound of

sausage and eggs sizzling on a hot cast iron skillet and

the thud of a skillfully thrown tomahawk hitting it’s mark!

There was talk of waking up early to fish, but a late night of

laughter around the campfire ensured we got a late start.

We spent the morning target practicing with the tomahawk

and preparing our fishing rods. All of a sudden the distant

sound of cattle became close! Before we knew it we were in

the middle of a cattle drive: close to 80 cattle were headed

for our camp followed by several dogs and ranchers on

horses! We stood in awe of the chaos and the rancher’s skill

at controlling it all.

Later that day we made our way back to the Colorado River

and fished for the remainder of the day, only stopping

for a lunch of steak and potatoes. Most of us caught 10+

trout each. We ended our day soaking in the hot springs

before retiring to camp for another round of s’mores and

conversation around the campfire. The next morning we

woke up to the crisp cool mountain air, which begged us to

stay in our sleeping bags until the light of the sun reached

our little aspen grove. With nothing left to do but drive back

over the mountains to Boulder, we took our time in making

breakfast and breaking camp. We played a few games

around camp before departing for the Front Range.

This trip was a great opportunity for our participants to

build stronger bonds with one another and to see more

of what the state of Colorado has to offer. I could not have

asked for a better group to share this experience with. As

usual, I can’t wait for the next opportunity to share wild

places with our participants!

AIM House Fishing and Camping ExcursionBy Nathan Thomas

Fall 2018

CHKIN NUGITby Emerson Davis

I came to AIM House like a lot of participants do. Wilderness

had drawn to a (much anticipated) closing point, and

the necessity for a transitional living program became

clear. There is a saying: “One cannot heal in the land

that wounded them.” For me to return to the East Coast

would annihilate all of the progress I had managed to

make in those ninety days in Hawaii. It fell to me to make

a redirected call on my next move. I was given a list or

programs, and I picked the bullet on the list that could let

me use my spark—there was no way in hell I could work

on myself without working on the art that saved my life.

AIM House would give me the opportunity to do both.

The initial intent, the motive for why I came to Boulder was

to “make a show.” I wanted to write my play and my story at

AIM House. I saw the black box at Madelife for the first time

within twenty-four hours of stepping off the airplane, and I

felt a tiny piece of hope reconnecting its way back into my

brain. This could happen. I spent time pouring over scripts.

There were multiple thoughts on the table initially: a play

about AI I’d seen performed in New York City already, a

Sarah Kane script which I had always wanted to stage, and

then that surreal, bloody thing I had dug out of my brain

over the past few years. After a week, I bit through the

apprehension, ignored the confines of a small space, and believed in my future actors. I settled on CHKIN NUGIT.

For those who couldn’t be in the audience, CHKIN NUGIT is a play about a world of insects who have staged a coup against

their monarch and, desperate for change, pull a soul at random through an inter-dimensional wormhole to instate as

their new god king. This new leader turns out to be one of those kids we all worry about who fries ants with a magnifying

glass…and old habits die hard.

It is an absolute monster of a script: It is demanding, some parts are nigh impossible to convey in a wholehearted,

believable manner without deeply unsettling the audience. It was probably not the “right” show for a group of people in

treatment to put up in a tiny black box. However, If you choose something difficult, you will always learn something from

the decision.

I learned that hard work pays off. I learned that there are people who believe in each other and will band together no

matter what to make beautiful things happen. I learned that no matter how much is demanded of someone, they have the

ability to rise to the challenge and metaphorically bite the apple.

Everyone should attempt writing a play. Everyone should attempt sharing what they wrote with someone they care about.

Everyone needs the opportunity for someone to look at your heart and see it for the beautiful organ it is. The audience saw

what this incredible group of people built, and I think they liked it. There will be more. Thank you.

Fall 2018

Staff Spotlight: Kathleen McCarthyBy Charlotte Cox

Kathleen McCarthy has been working

at AIM House since 2015. At this

point, she is an established member

of our Lead Mentor team. Kathleen

has many strengths: she is relatable,

intellectually and emotionally intelligent,

compassionate, and has a great sense of

humor. “It’s important to know where

people are coming from (I’ve probably

been there too), maintain empathy and

understanding in any given situation,

and then be able to be light, laugh, and

be silly when you can. Recovery is hard

enough—inserting humor is a clutch

survival tactic,” shared Kathleen.

Kathleen is originally from Cohasset,

MA, a small town on the South Shore

outside of Boston. She lived there until

she went to college at Skidmore in

Saratoga Springs, NY. She later moved

to Maui, where she lived on an organic

farm that also doubled as a yoga and

meditation community. This is where

the big shift happened for her, and

she decided to move to Boulder to

pursue her dream of continuing an

education that could help combine all

of her passions: working with others by

mindfulness and positive relationships

as tools for healing. This is what led

Kathleen to Naropa Universsity and she

has been living in Boulder ever since (8

years now!)

Kathleen studied Sociology in her

undergraduate career, and she ended

up dabbling in a variety of social-work

jobs after college: she worked with

at-risk pre-teens as a mentor in an

organization similar to Big Brother Big

Sister, worked with the homeless, and

also did a bit of work with a transitional

living program for young men coming

out of juvenile hall. This work all brought

Kathleen to discover her interests in

mindfulness and working with others.

“I truly believe that we can only take

people as far as we have gone in our

own personal journeys, and Naropa

really encourages that we use our

own “stuff” as education on how to

do the work. It’s by going through it

ourselves that we are able to be present

with others when they are doing it

themselves,” said Kathleen.

Kathleen is very drawn to working

with young adults (or really people

of all ages) that have hit a road-block

in their own personal evolution. She

enjoys working with people in recovery

(recovery from anything- drugs, alcohol,

depression, anxiety, eating disorders,

etc.) because she shared, “I have been

through a lot of that myself. Recovery

to me, means stopping a behavior that

no longer serves us and uncovering

the reasons why we engaged in that

behavior to begin with, and then

figuring out how to meet those needs

in a way that is constructive and not

destructive.” Kathleen believes that it

takes community support to feel safe

enough to speak up and do things

differently. “The relationships we build at

AIM House are so important; every time

someone shares something vulnerable,

if they are in connection to either a

peer or staff, they give themselves a

greater chance of moving through

that feeling and towards connection

and healthy community.” These two

things are pivotal for change and

growth, and Kathleen does a great job

facilitating these relationships within

our community.

Kathleen’s favorite aspect of being

a Lead Mentor is her opportunity to

connect with others in a non-superficial

way. She shared, “I love working in a

space where honesty is encouraged

and people are challenged to drop

their masks and just be with each

other... I further appreciate working

at a job where self-growth and self-

introspection are required to do a good

job. We can’t ask others to do this if we

are not also doing it ourselves!”

In Kathleen’s free time, she prioritizes

SELF CARE. This includes: meditation,

mindful walks, journaling, and ‘keeping

it real’ with herself. Kathleen also enjoys

cooking a lot, hiking, biking, and lot’s

of yoga; she especially loves practicing

her handstands—Kathleen has taught

yoga for 3 years! She started a yoga class

for the Boulder homeless population

and ran it through the Bridge House

Homeless Resource Center, where she

has worked as a case manager. She

loves Boulder and her community

here— Continued on page 6

Fall 2018

How can we take failure out of the equation? We can start

with language.

Instead of saying “Failure to Launch,” we can utilize the term

“Emerging Adulthood,” which foundationally expresses

optimism and opportunity. Our hope is that when

Millennials hear “Emerging Adulthood,” it will promote

possibility and opportunity and young adults are certainly

worthy of receiving that message. Millennials deserve

to thrive and flourish and feel supported throughout

development. As the saying goes, “Be sure to taste your

words before you spit them out!” As we continue to discuss

the Millennial generation, let’s be mindful of our jargon and

intentionally express kindness, empathy, and love through

our words.

As a program that works with the Millennial population,

AIM House wants to focus on the solution to the struggles

within this population. Ultimately, for a successful launch,

irrespective of any diagnosis or issues that the young adult

faces, the final common pathway is that the individual must

tap into and identify a passion or something that provides

purpose and meaning. We get the opportunity to introduce

new experiences and facilitate the building of resiliency.

We need to experience the joy and the pain that comes

with cultivating those passions. There must be a conscious

effort to cultivate not just the logic of the mind, but also the

desires of the heart. This is what ultimately leads to sense of

balance and satisfaction in life—the ultimate goal.

At AIM House, we do this by mentoring our participants

towards academic and vocational pursuits that peak

interest. We help young people build the life-skills and grit

to not only identify what it is they want to be doing, but

also to follow through on these goals—even when the

going gets tough.

Paulina Siegal is a Licensed Clinical

Social Worker (LCSW), Certified

Addiction Counselor (CAC II), and

master-level trained mindfulness

instructor. Paulina recently launched

Courageous Paths Counseling

in Denver, CO and exclusively

serves 15-38 year olds. She utilizes

a generational approach to

address the unique needs of teens

and Millennials while publicly speaking about the

generational research. courageouspathscounseling.com

Lily Wilkinson has been a part of AIM

House since 2010 but took a new role

with the program in 2018, leading

the Outreach team. Lily studied at

the University of Colorado and was

very involved with the growth of the

CU Collegiate Recovery Program

while working toward her degree.

She is passionate about helping

young people and their families find

the help and support they need.

Resiliency Training within the Emerging Adultcontinued from page 1

Staff Spotlight: Kathleen McCarthycontinued from page 5

including her two pet birds and a growing tank of fish!

Kathleen’s passionate spirit is apparent at AIM House. She takes her personal growth

and self-care seriously, which is why she is such a great mentor; she walks the walk. We

are grateful for what she brings to this community. We are grateful to have Kathleen on

our team at AIM House, and excited to see her continue to inspire participants as well

as staff members in this community.

Fall 2018

Parent Workshop at AIM Houseby Stephanie Addiss

Family Workshop at AIM House is a day-long event in which

families and their participants have the opportunity to

interact with AIM House staff, learn more about philosophy

of our program, and gain some awareness into their

family dynamics.

We hold family workshops three to four times a year,

giving all participants and their families an opportunity

to experience at least one. The workshops are held at the

historical Chautauqua Park, where we rent out indoor space

for groups and lectures. We recommend families stay on-

site at the beautiful Chautauqua property and our founder,

Daniel Conroy, always offers a group hike in the morning to

get things going.

The main value that we strive to achieve from our time

with families is a sense of connection. In this vein, our

hope is to create a feeling of community in which families

can share and relate with one another while gaining a

deeper understanding of themselves and the AIM House

program. We accomplish this through large and small group

processes, the enactment of family sculpts, and experientially

practicing some of the principles of the program such as

intention setting and coping skills.

Additionally, the night before the workshop we offer a meet

and greet for families to come and mingle with other families

and staff, as well as the chance to witness the musical talents

of our participants. We encourage families to also enjoy time

with each other in Boulder. There is so much to see and

experience in this town; amazing restaurants, hiking, football

games, Red Rocks, skiing in the winter, etc. Along with the

emotional work that families attend to while here, we believe

in balancing this with play as it also promotes healing.

Stephanie is the Clinical Director at AIM House.  She

received her BA in Psychology and Social Behavior,

and Management from UC Irvine and holds an MA in

Contemplative Counseling Psychology from Naropa

University. She has also been trained in ‘Brainspotting,’

which is a powerful, focused treatment method that

works by identifying, processing and releasing core

neurophysiologic sources of emotional/body pain,

trauma, dissociation and a variety of other challenging

symptoms. Stephanie has been with AIM House since

2010 and is an extremely valued member of our team

and community!