Inner CriticSample Dialogues

PDF

Inner Critic DialogueIn this PDF you'll find three ways you can interact

and dialogue with your Inner Critic. If it sounds crazy

to engage in conversation with a voice inside your

own head, then please do try having an open mind

as you read through and try out the following

techniques.

Essentially the more we resist, argue with and ignore

the Inner Critic voice, the louder and more persistent

it tends to get. These three fairly simple techniques

allow you to reassure your Inner Critic (the part of

you who is scared) and also seek out the wisdom it

contains.

When your Inner Critic feels reassured and heard, it

does quieten down. We never fully eradicate our

Inner Critic, nor would want to, but having a more

harmonious relationship with it is preferable to the

alternative.

Trust me on this, I’ve worked with my Inner Critic for

years!

Being okay with criticism When your Inner Critic is on your case about what

people will think or how people will react to you if you

do something, say something, or behave in a certain way,

rather than try to convince yourself that what the Inner

Critic says will happen, won’t happen, try instead

accepting it as a possibility and finding the place inside

of yourself that knows you’ll survive no matter what

other people say or how they react.

Example dialogue

You want to post something on Social Media that feels

vulnerable and your Inner Critic has something to say

about that.

Inner Critic: “Why would anyone care what you have to

say?” “People are going to think you’re self-absorbed if

you post that?”, “You’ll look stupid if you share that about

yourself!” “People are going to judge you!”

You: “Yep, those things might happen, but that’s okay, I

can live with the judgement of others. As much as what

you say could come true, I’ve thought about it and I’d

rather be true to myself than hide my truth to avoid the

criticisms of others.”

Thanking your Inner Critic When the Inner Critic is doing its best to stop you from

taking a certain course of action, remember that it’s

doing so in a misguided attempt to stop you from failing,

from falling flat on your face, getting hurt or suffering

rejection. So rather than get angry with your Inner Critic

try seeing it’s criticisms as just a clumsy and less than

helpful way of trying to protect you and find it within

yourself to be grateful.

Example dialogue

Inner Critic: “Are you crazy? If you do this, you’re going

to fail” “Don’t you remember what happened the last

time you tried this?” “What makes you think that this time

things will be different?” “What makes you think you can

do this?”

You: “Listen Inner Critic, I know that you have my best

interests at heart here and that you are just trying to stop

me from getting hurt, but I’ve got this. We’ve got this. If I

fail, I’ll try again, I figure it's better to suffer the pain f

failing then to never try at all. But thank you, I appreciate

your concern and we’re all good, I promise!

“Re-Do Please” Technique This is a technique, I learned in my Coach training, from

Life Coach, Kate Swoboda of yourcourageouslife.com.

Next time your Inner Critic is being particularly nasty,

rather than take what it throws at you and cower under

it’s aggressive bullying, you can take a different stance.

You can politely but firmly let your Inner Critic know that

you are totally open to hearing what it has to say but that

you’d like it to re-do what it just said. And this time you’d

like it to be a little more respectful.

When it comes back with more snark, simply and calmly

re-state that you’re totally open to engaging in

communication but that before you’ll take on board any

of your critics suggestions, they must be delivered in a

more objective and respectful way.

Example dialogue

Inner Critic: “Oh my God, you are such a loser, I can’t

believe you failed to stick to your exercise routine again!”

You: "Hey Inner Critic, I see you have something to say

but I don’t really like your tone, can you re-do that please

a little more respectfully?"

Inner Critic: “You want respect? You need to show

yourself some respect! If you keep skipping your

exercise routine, you’re going to end up the size of a

house and who is going to love you then!”

You: “Okay Inner Critic, as I said before I’m not prepared

to engage in this conversation unless you use a more

respectful tone and show a little more objectivity. Re-do

please."

Inner Critic: “So you want objective? Well I’ll give you

objective! Keep skipping your exercise schedule and

you’re going to get fat and you'll die alone!”

You: "That’s not exactly objective Inner Critic, nor is it

respectful. I really do want to hear your concerns but

you’re going to have to deliver it more nicely than that.

Re-do please.”

Inner Critic: “Fine! I’m worried that if you don’t stick to

your plan that you’ll put weight on and there will be

health repercussions and that you won't find the

relationship you’ve been dreaming about.”

You: “There we go, thank you Inner Critic, your concerns

are duly noted and I’ve got it covered, it’s going to be

okay.”

Using the above techniques to engage with your Inner

Critic in a more direct and healthy way can have

profound effects on quietening down it’s noise. We

never fully get rid of the Inner Critic, it was formed to

protect us but strengthening and deepening our

relationship with it, can improve things dramatically.

Book:

Playing Big by Tara Mohr has a whole chapter on the

Inner Critic in it.

Program:

The Courageous Living Program by Kate Swoboda has

a whole section on the Inner Critic and can be found at

www.yourcourageouslife.com/courageous-living-

program/

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