Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
-
Upload
rachel-lim -
Category
Documents
-
view
213 -
download
0
Transcript of Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
1/48
The Tree of Life. Allen Zaruba. Watercolor. November 2013.
Allen Zaruba (exhibiting as Alzaruba)
Allen Zaruba is a senior Fulbright interdisciplinary visual artist who taught at Sung Kyun Kwan Univer-
sity (03-04), researched early Korean sculpture and its impact on Japan, lectured extensively and took part
in several international art events.
This is the ninth in a series o watercolors, which began in Korea. Inspired by the colors o Gyeong-
bokgung Palace, the ship shapes represent conceptual thresholds or windows shifing through alternate
moments and states o time in the universe. In the center is a small circle showing the Tree o Lie rom
Revelations 22:2. The small boat offers us crossing into His glory.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
2/48
Books Festival.Sarah Chen. Naju.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
3/48
CONTENTS
LETTER . 02 . JAI OK SHIM
FOREWORD . 04 . KATELYN HEMMEKE
WHERE DO I BEGIN? . 06 . HELEN LI
THE BALLADEERS OF JUNGMA . 09 . JOSH WOOD & STUDENTS
08.18.13 . 13 . ANDREW CHENG
ANCESTORS, FAMILY AND THE MEANING OF CHUSEOK . 16 . HOLLEE MCGINNIS
THE GARDENER . 23 . PRESTON NANNEY
THE KOREA QUESTION . 28 . COURTNEY MCLACHLAN
. 34 . KRISTEN BIALIK
WE HAVE LOVE AND THE GOD OUTSIDE . 41 . KALEY CURTIS
THE FULBRIGHT KOREA
VOLUME 7, ISSUE 1INFUSION
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
4/48
STAFFPUBLISHING ADVISER
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
MANAGING EDITORS
DESIGN EDITOR
ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITOR
PHOTO EDITORS
WEB MANAGER
MONITORS
STAFF EDITORS
COVER PHOTO
Jai Ok Shim
Katelyn Hemmeke
Kristen BialikJennifer Law
Ashley Park
Meredith Howard
Andrew ChengNeal Singleton
Rachel Lim
Teresa BaikPhung Nguyen
Mimi Cagaitan
Sarah ChenConnor DearingHector Ramos FloresClara KangJohn KarayannopoulosJosephine ReeceJon RiceChristina SocciSophia Zhang
Beopjusa Morning. Neal Singleton.Beopjusa, Songnisan.
The Fulbright Korea Infusion
E-MAILFULBRIGHT WEB
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM
[email protected]://www.fulbright.or.kr/fulbrightkoreainfusion
fulbrightkoreainfusion
The Fulbright Korea Infusion is published by the Korean-American Educational Commission.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
5/48
Seoul Back Alley. Helen Li. Seoul.
Seoul Back Alley. Helen Li. Seoul.
01
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
6/48
LETTER FROM THEEXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Dear Readers,
It is my distinct honor to present Volume 7, Issue 1 of The
Fulbright Korea Infusion. For the rst time in the history of the
magazine, we are publishing separate winter and spring issues.
We hope this winter issue demonstrates the impressive work our
grantees have already accomplished, and that the spring issue will
reveal even further growth. I would like to extend my thanks to all
the grantees and alumni who have contributed to this issue of In-
fusion, for it could not have happened without their tireless effort.
Since its inception seven years ago, Infusion has grown expo-
nentially in its content and reach. Every year, the magazine builds
upon its former success in presenting a glimpse into the Fulbright
Korea experience. As a compilation of photographs, essays, po-
ems and more, Infusion represents the tremendous diversity of
experiences, perspectives and lives that comprise the Fulbright
Korea community.
With a community of over 5,000 active grantees and alumni,
Fulbright Korea has reached the furthest corners of the country
in education, scholarship and cultural exchanges. Since our earliest
days, Fulbright Korea has sought to improve cross-cultural con-
nections through a diverse array of educational programs. Every
grantee has left his or her mark on this country and commission.
The accomplishments of those grantees are reected within Infu-
sion, a representation of the character of our Fulbright community.
Sincerely,
Jai Ok Shim
Executive Director
Korean-American Educational Commission
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
7/48
03
Gyeongbokgung Palace Guard. Helen Li. Seoul.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
8/48
Katelyn Hemmeke, Editor-in-Chie
As Fulbright grantees, we take on the formidable challenge of
leaving behind home, family and friends to live in a foreign country
for one year (or two or three!). Whether its your rst time in Korea,
your rst time ever abroad, or one trip in a string of many, its a
daunting task to dive into a life that is new and unknown. But when
does the strange, the foreign, the unknown cross the line and become
something familiar? And what does it take for that shift to occur? It
is this contrast between the familiar and the unfamiliar that threads
through this issue of The Fulbright Korea Infusion.
For the rst time, Infusion is releasing two issues within one
grant year: a winter issue and a spring issue. We are so pleased to
expand this outlet for Fulbright Korea grantees English Teach-
ing Assistants and Junior Researchers, past and present to further
share their diverse experiences and talents. And perhaps it is tting
that the theme for our very rst winter issue is the exploration of the
(un)familiar.
FOREWORD
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
9/48
Even in a foreign country where grantees are scattered nation-
wide and no two experiences are alike, there are some things that
strike a familiar chord with us all. ETAs can recognize the vivacious
quirks and personalities of Helen Lis beloved students. The warmth
of a mothers home-cooked food and handmade scarf, so lovingly
described by Josh Woods student Seung Hui Yang, resonates with
anyone living away from home. The immense familial love that drives
Hollee McGinniss piece is echoed in the ties between grantees and
their own families thousands of miles away, as well as in the bonds
they forge with their host families and new communities in Korea.
But familiarity is not always easy or comforting, nor is unfamiliar-
ity always difcult or upsetting. Twists of tragedy, new languages and
cultures, even something as simple as a new blanket of fresh snow
can render a place or person familiar or not into something
completely different. Sometimes this shift creates discord or sorrow;
sometimes it is a delight, causing us to crave more. Our writers and
artists in this issue of Infusion explore the emotions and complexities
that arise within such experiences of the new and known.
My students often ask me whether or not I know something:
Teacher, do you know kimchi? Suneung?1G-Dragon?2As you take in
the written and visual work within these pages, ask yourself: What is
familiar to you? What do you know, and what do you want to know?
Please enjoy Volume 7, Issue 1 of Infusion.
Beokpjusa Stacking Stones. Helen Li. Beopjusa, Songnisan.
05
1. The Korean SAT2. An iconic K-pop star
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
10/48
Helen Li
WHERE DO I BEGIN?
A few months ago, he asked you if you were happy. With
that smile on his face, there was no space for you to say No.
Im in a race against the backspace button. Im afraid one
day Ill win and compose that shameless message to your name.
They say acceptance of your problem is the rst step
to recovery.
But thats for waiting room trifold brochures and post-
ers in clean, bright doctors ofces. The rst step is actually
wanting a recovery because sometimes the dark, shifting hole
youve dug for yourself is the only place you can see the
whole of your history. Stretched out from the moment you
met to the last time you sat side by side. Fragile to the point
that saying the word Recovery means opening your eyes
and watching that timeline vanish. So you lingered in your
dark, shifting hole, replaying old tapes and projecting them
onto the backs of your eyelids.
Then something changed for you. You moved to a place
where surviving meant pretending that you could survive,
and somewhere in the middle of pretending you realized that
you could survive. Slowly, you opened your eyes and found
a world where his silhouette didnt need to be in your pe-
riphery. You stopped turning to chase brown and blue in the
corners of your eyes. You found students who followed the
direction of your gaze so you looked only forward.
You were so thankful. For Geon Yeongs shy smiles
and Do Kyeongs boisterous grins. For the diversity of
insa1, Su Bins 2, Hyo Seons Hello Teacher, Tae
Ohs BROTHER. For Shin Hongs shoe kleptomania and
Seung Chans outrageous lies. For Jeong Hyeon the Mouth
Fighter and Ji Won the General. For Yeon Seobs innite
face contortions and the creases on the edges of Yoon Uis
eyes. For Jong Woos quiet humor and Jeong Woos confused
expressions. For break time so your boys could yell and pre-
tend-ght in the hallways and your girls could buy snacks and
share them with you throughout the day.
Somewhere in between First and Finals Week, between
teaching your impossible 2-43boys and your wild 2-2 girls,
you found happiness. You found it in the little balls of awk-
wardness and enthusiasm that soon became your prescrip-
tion for keeping the walk-ups from turning into mountains
and the fall-downs from turning into cliffs. Repeated in the
cinema on the backs of your eyelids were images of won-
1. Greetings, traditionally in the orm o a bow2. Literally sounded out, Ar- reo-byu (I love you)
3. The moniker or a homeroom class. The irst number represents the grade; the second is the class number. 2-4 is aclass o second grade high school students (the equivalent o U.S. high school juniors).
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
11/48
derful chaos in 2-9 and sweet cooperation in 2-1. Every
laugh, every giggle, every stumbling conversation became a
soundtrack that echoed in your head from rst to last period,
bouncing off the walls in a mind that had been cleared of
self-doubt and lled with a renewed sense of self-assurance.
You can be kind for them. You can be brave for them. You
can be happy for them.
Yesterday, Hwa Jeong asked if you were happy in Korea.
You couldnt give her a convincing answer, so you decided
to write a reection dening happiness. Happiness is not
wondering, Am I happy? Happiness is not being able to
fathom an answer to the question, Are you happy? You
never thought it was up for debate. Happiness is every sec-
ond you spend trying to put more stars in their eyes, win-
dows that show you an achingly beautiful horizon with every
remembered name and promises of a Game. Happiness is
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday,
Sunday. Happiness is walking home and hearing farewells
shouted from the third oor. Happiness is ending class early
for an impromptu snowball war. Happiness is losing
4and buying the winner a 700 won drink from the
vending machine. Happiness is notebook doodles and chalk-
board art. Happiness is 867 brilliantly frustrating, sweet and
courageous individuals that make every day worth the start.
Youre not afraid anymore of writing to him. If he asks
you if youre happy, youll say,
Where do I begin?
Helen Li is a 2013-2014 ETA at Changpyeong High School in
Changpyeong, Jeollanam-do.
4. Rock-paper-scissors
07
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
12/48
Untitled. Judy Her. Seocheon.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
13/48
Hero
Insecure to intend something
That had never been imagined,
Faithless to face something
That had never been fought for,
She was that sort of silent sheep.
One day,
Unintentionally, inevitably,
And irrecoverably,
She saw the salvation in her solitude.
She resisted to retrieve the right,
Eliminating her limits,
Struggling to set a re
Revealing her rebelliousness.
At length, she won a war with herself.
Now,
She is worth a warm welcome
Waiting for her.
Seung Hoo Song
Josh Wood & Students
THE BALLADEERS OF JUNGMA
The following three poems were submitted by individual students for their nal speaking exam at Jungma High
School in Gwangyang, Jeollanam-do. Josh Wood is the ETA at Jungma High.
09
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
14/48
My Winter
The sun sets so early.
Cold air touches my face.
Winter is around the corner,
And everyone is bustling around preparing for winter.
My winter is colder than that of others.
I have no one to hold my hands,
I have no one to hug me,
I have no one to warm my cold cheeks.
My winter is warmer than that of others.
With the handmade food,
The hand warmer worth ve hundred won and,
The scarf my mom made for me.
The sun sets so early.
Cold air touches my face.
Winter is around the corner,
And everyone is bustling around preparing for winter.
Seung Hui Yang
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
15/48
The Tree
When I walked on the street
Saw many fallen leaves
Yellow, orange, brown and charcoal...
Seemed as if they were whispering in my ear
Do not mash me!
Do not stamp me down!
Do not hurt me anymore!
I am sad enough
As I was abandoned from this tree
Looked like just what I was
I was already mashed out
I was already stamped down
I was already hurt by this world
Nevertheless, look at me now!
I am still alive
Getting older, getting taller, getting wiser
Than last year oh!
Want to whisper in the ear of the leaves
You are not abandoned
Because of you
Because you were here
This tree will be here forever
Like I will be in this world forever
Cha Lui Park
11
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
16/48
Surviving. Thomas Owens. Donghae.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
17/48
Dear Tony,
I decided to take a walk tonight and, since I now live quite close,
my feet led me toward the school. Your school. Our school. When
the dormitory came into view from behind the new apartment build-
ings, I realized, to my shock, that it was the rst time that I had been
back since July 12th, the day you died. The day I was supposed to go
home with happy goodbyes and see-you-in-Augusts but instead left
in hurried confusion and sadness. The day youwere supposed to go
home but never did.
The buildings looked exactly the same as they always have: grand,
silent, with brightly-lit windows. It being Sunday evening, most stu-
dents had already returned to their dormitory rooms and were prob-
ably preparing for the start of classes tomorrow.
I thought about what I would say and do when I arrived on cam-
pus in the morning, one silent month of summer vacation behind me.
Ought I to speak openly of the tragedy and let the school community
know that I still cared? Ought I to ask my students personally if they
were coping healthily? I wondered if I should talk about you at all,
even mention your name. I could waltz into class with the same fa-
miliar smile and vigor and begin to teach as if nothing had happened.
As if real life had no bearing on the classroom environment. Its been
difcult to come to grips with your death, Tony. I havent told a single
person about you.
If I did, I would say rst that you were an exceptional student.
That you were almost relentlessly positive, and that the only times you
werent happy were when you were lost in thought and concentrating
very hard on how to formulate a sentence in English properly enough
to make your point understood. You volunteered to speak up in class
every single week and did so purely from self-motivation, because you
were actually paying attention to the discussion and wanted to give
your earnest input, even if it wasnt a popular opinion. Sometimes,
you stayed after class to clean the whiteboards without being asked.
It gave you an opportunity to chat with me as I packed up, not even
because you wanted more English practice but because you simply
wanted to chat with me. Tony, you deserved your Class MVP
award, and although it was just a piece of paper, it meant so much
more than that, at least to me. I actually wish I could impart even
more meaning to it now, to shower you with verbal praise, to do any-
thing in my power to afrm your intrinsic value as a human being.
But its too late.
Do you remember our last conversation? It was over lunch ear-
lier that week. The subject of the Korean education system came up
yet again and I went on my usual rant about how stressful and
unfair it was for a students entire potential to be governed by a few
arbitrary exams. You agreed and added that schools were not doing
their students any good. Prophetically, you became a victim of the
system just a few days later. No one even realized the pressure you
were under, and for that I am so, so sorry.
Tony, Im going to miss you in my classes this semester. I still
dont know what I will do when I have to face your peers, or how it
will feel. Whatever happens, we must all move on, right? But for me,
moving on will not entail forgetting. For you, Im going to strive to
be the best teacher I can be. For you, Im not going to let a minute go
to waste on anyone else. I will let my students talk to me as much as
they want, whenever they want, and encourage them always to speak
their minds. When they do occasionally say something brilliant, it will
remind me of you.
I hope that you are resting in well-deserved and long-awaited peace.
Always,
Andrew
Andrew Cheng is a 2012-2014 high school ETA in Changwon, Gyeongsang-
nam-do.
Andrew Cheng08.18.13
13
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
18/48
Seoraksan Cairn. Neal Singleton. Baekdamsa, Seoraksan.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
19/48
A Walk in the Park. Neal Singleton. Cheonan.
15
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
20/48
I have a family three families in fact. I have my American
family by adoption, my husband and son, and my Korean biologi-
cal family with whom I reunited in 1996. Yet being in Korea during
Chuseok for the rst time lled my heart with sadness. Chuseok is the
traditional Korean harvest festival, a time of thanksgiving, spending
time with family and honoring ones ancestors. However, my Korean
family did not invite me to celebrate this holiday with them.
Despite all the family in my life, I felt like the orphan I once
had been.
My dissertation, supported by Fulbright and the Korean Foun-
dation, explores the experiences of adolescents in adoptive families
and orphanages in Korea and the stigma associated with not being
raised by blood kin. I had thought celebrating Chuseok with my birth
family would give me insight into Korean blood kinship. Instead I
experienced the keen pain of knowing you have blood family, but are
rejected or worse, ignored by them.
I tried to console myself, thinking maybe if I stayed until next
Chuseok, maybe I would be invited and would perform the intimate
family ritual of charye1with my Korean blood family. Maybe I would
be included as part of their family. Maybe then I would feel a part ofa family that I had lost when I was 3.
I especially wanted to perform charye for my haraboji, my bio-
logical paternal grandfather, who had searched for me when I was
15 years old, but who died before I reunited with the family again.
Like the Koreans I read about, I wanted to go to my grandfathers
burial ground, clear it and bow deeply and thank him. For what? For
remembering me. For trying to nd me. For loving me as part of the
family. Despite the fact that I was sent away for adoption, he never
forgot me. He searched for me. Although I will never know, I feel he
may have longed for me as much as my child heart longed for him.
I also wanted to honor my dad, my adoptive father, who died
suddenly ve years ago, six months after the birth of my son. For
what? For his unwavering love and labor that transformed me from
an orphan in a foreign country to his daughter. For always honor-
ing my roots and encouraging me to follow my heart and pursue my
dreams. I had always imagined he would come with me to Korea one
day, but that day was taken away when he died.
The notion of honoring ones ancestors deepened when I visited
Bukchon Hanok Village in Seoul, one of the few areas where tradi-
tional Korean houses still stand in the city. The woman working there
explained the design of the traditional Korean house, or hanok: how
one room was warm in the winter and another cool in the summer.
She said with pride and humility, I think our ancestors were verysmart. And I appreciated two things. First, that she said our, as in me,
my husband (who was also adopted from Korea) and our biological
son. In that simple word, she acknowledged that we too are Korean
Hollee McGinnis
ANCESTORS, FAMILY AND
THE MEANING OF CHUSEOK
1. Charyeis a memorial service that Korean amilies traditionally perorm at Chuseok and the Lunar New Year. Koreanshonor their ancestors by perorming bows, offering ood, ruits and wine, and visiting tombs to trim the grass.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
21/48
and these are our ancestors.
Second, her words made me realize that honoring our ancestors
is also about celebrating all who had lived and created Korean culture
and society. They are our ancestors too. Their presence still endures
in Koreas traditional architecture, dress and food. And by the simple
fact of being of Korean descent, we are also a part of this lineage. So
honoring our ancestors is as much about honoring our direct blood
descendants as it is about revering those who built Korean culture.
Despite this insight, I could not shake my sadness. Instead of
being with my Korean family, I traveled with my son to a party orga-
nized by a group of overseas adoptees residing in Seoul. Was it any
consolation? In my 20s I started an organization for adult overseas
adoptees in New York City, Also-Known-As, Inc., and found a sense
of belonging and connection to the adoptee community. But on this
Chuseok these connections felt empty because they were not my kin.
As I got off the bus holding my sons hand, I was distracted by
a stream of people heading into Jogyesa Buddhist Temple in Insa-
dong, an area known for its traditional Korean goods. I was curi-
ous. I looked up at the temple gates and saw beautiful oating pa-
per lanterns painted with delicate images of gold, red and pink shswimming among lotus blossoms. Beyond them were larger lanterns
shaped like owers that were tagged with Korean inscriptions writ-
ten on gold and red paper. The beautiful white oating paper sh,
suspended on an aqua ribbon of cloth between the earth and the sky,
beckoned me.
I followed the people and oating sh into the crowded temple
grounds. There was a queue of people waiting to buy drinks, and a
stand where tteok2was being handed out. There were people sitting
at shaded tables chatting and drinking. Above the crowd, a school
of paper sh swirled in crescent arcs, swimming to a single point: a
large lotus-shaped lantern near the main temple doors. Smaller gold-
colored sh dangled from the lanterns and ashed in the warm late
September sun.
As I watched the people milling about the grounds and going
into the temple, I felt their energy and I realized they were all gath-
ered on these grounds for Chuseok. My body tingled with excitement
as I realized I could honor my harabojiand my dad, even without my
Korean family, just as these people had gathered on these temple
grounds to do.
I took my sons hand, walked up the stairs into the main temple
hall and found a spot to put down two cushions. I performed deep
kowtow bows, a tradition of Korean Buddhism, my son following
along with me. My body felt light and natural, swinging to the rhythmof the bows.
The monk then began the Buddhist chants with the klok klok
klokof the hollow wooden drum. Not knowing the words to chant,
172. Sweet rice cake
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
22/48
I sat with closed eyes and let the sounds of the drum and voices
wash over me. In my inner darkness, the klok klok klokof the drum
merged with my heart. As the pain of never getting to see my haraboji
or dad again pressed my heart, a tear ran down my cheek. The tear
was followed by another and then another. And as each tear emerged,
the sadness in my heart slowly lifted, until I was left with an over-
whelming feeling of love throughout my being.
I felt my ancestors had gently pushed me this way, to stumble
into the temple at the right time to be with other Koreans who were
there to pay homage to their deceased loved ones. I honored you
today, dad and haraboji. And I felt your incredible love.
After the ceremony, we went into the gift shop on the temple
grounds. I wanted to buy a token to remember this Chuseok day. My
son picked out a bracelet of heart-shaped pale pink quartz stones,
saying, Buy this bracelet because this is how much I love you.
At rst I did not want it because I am not a fan of heart-shaped
jewelry, but then I realized it was the perfect bracelet for the moment
because it reected the tremendous love I had felt in the temple. It was
as if my son knew what I was looking for. After I purchased it, my son
pointed to each stone and said happily, This is love from me, Mom-
my, Daddy, Nana, Grandpa, Poppy, Nene, Uncle Phil, Aunt Karen,
Uncle Tim I smiled and said to my son, There is so much love!
And indeed there was. On this little heart bracelet were all the
hearts all the love from the members of my family: by blood,
heredity and choice.
We are all a part of this human family, each swimming like the
beautiful paper sh in the ethereal air between heaven and earth,
owing in the stream of life from which we all arise and will return.
Those beautiful swimming sh are our ancestors, spirits and
guides. They too swim beneath the surface of the waves of eternity.
They glint and gleam in the sunlight showing us the way. We will
follow you soon. But not today. My heart and mind oat up to you
longingly. My mind can only grasp you in the form it knows, your
beautiful faces lost to me now. But soon we will all be together again,
swimming in the oceans of heaven.
Hollee McGinnis, MSW, is a PhD candidate and 2013-2014 Junior Research-
er afliated with the Graduate School of Social Welfare at Hallym University.
We are all a part o this human amily, eachswimming like the beautiul paper ish in
the ethereal air between heaven and earth,
lowing in the stream o lie, rom which weall arise and will return.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
23/48
Patience. Andrew Cheng. Changwon.
19
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
24/48
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
25/48
21
Gyeongbokgung Garden. Helen Li. Seoul.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
26/48
Jido Smile. Neal Singleton. Jido.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
27/48
A garden is rolling down the street
Plastic bags blossoming from soiled cardboard
Vines of tape and rope incubating
In a seedbed of Styrofoam nuts
The afterbirth of a world she reared,
This gardener behind her pushcart
Like a wind-battered tree she leans
Over her disjointed legs and
Into the rusty tumbrel, the whinnying wheels of which
Drown the click of her steps,
Hide the tick of the seconds and the minutes marked
By this timekeeper behind her pushcart
Her overgrowth of refuse groans to our bus stop
As the timetable tolls for the 705
Its all zippers and snaps and straps and
Commuters bracing, standing raptly at the curb
A specious ovation for
The old lady and her pushcart
Preston NanneyTHE GARDENER
23
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
28/48
With a shriek of axles and brake pads
The bus lurches to a stop behind her
It howls in righteous disdain
For her stoppage in the right lane
To say there is no room in the margin
For this planter and her pushcart
She does not hasten
She does not look back
But somnambulates ahead and
Turns instead to look at me
Among the vesper glow of handheld screens
Under a Plexiglas canopy
Me, herald of the west and young
Sowing an unknown language on her ground
She, sunk-eyed watcher, leather-handed grower
With her tree bark face and harrow gait
The forgotten forebear of this new world
This gardener behind her pushcart
Preston Nanney is a 2013-2014 ETA at Jeonmin Co-ed Middle School in
Daejeon.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
29/48
Autumn at Communal Vision. Judy Her. Seocheon.
25
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
30/48
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
31/48
Working Man. Neal Singleton. Mullae.
27
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
32/48
Why Korea?
A simple, innocuous question that has plagued me for seven years.
If you have a simple answer to this question, I applaud you. No,
really, I do. Because here I am, going on my seventh year of the in-
evitable question and I still dont have a perfect answer. I still cant
quite put into words why it had to be Korean that I took my fresh-
man year of college, why I insisted on continuing it, even though it
meant transferring schools. Theres no simple way to make people
understand all that is Korea.
My challenge stems from the hierarchy that has formed in the
American perception of East Asia.
Theres China. If you study Chinese, most people will assume
youre going into business or the Foreign Service. You might get a
few why China?s here and there, but without too much perplexity.
These days China, Chinese, makes sense.
And then theres Japan, a country that has been the bane of my
Korean Studies existence.
Realistically, neither Korean nor Japanese quite make sense to
study in the way that Chinese does. China is business and politics
and opportunity. But neither Japanese nor Korean magically become
golden tickets to riches in your future, or even to steady employment.
They both garner a puzzled why? from anyone and everyone to
whom you ever confess your major. Choosing either of them will
require explanations for the rest of your life.
But there is one key way in which they differ. Japanese culture
made it big in the U.S. in the 90s; many people know anime, manga,
Sega, Playstation, Nintendo, karate, sushi, ramen, Sony, Toyota - this
list can go on. Why Japan? is usually asked with assumptions in
mind, a list of easily digestible reasons the answerer can pull from.
By contrast, there is very little collective, mainstream perception of
Korea. Korean isnt in.
Freshman year, my Korean class (only one section) had ten stu-
dents. Beginner Japanese had four sections and fty students. There
was kind of an us-versus-them mentality, an air among the Japanese
students that the Korean kids had chosen the wrong language.
, , 1... Suddenly, raucous applause and cheer-
ing ripped through our Korean classroom. My professor jumped, as did
the rest of us, cutting our repetition off into gasps or yelps of surprise.
The source of the cheering was Japanese 103 in their room
across the hall. We sat awkwardly waiting as our professor stomped
over to beg for some silence.
After class, as we all streamed into the hall, I asked my Japanese
class friend what all the ruckus was about.
Oh, we were just watching Princess Mononoke you know,
by Miyazaki.
Another student butted into our conversation: Hes one of the
THE KOREA QUEST IONCourtney McLachlan
1. Basic Korean conjugations o the verb to do
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
33/48
most famous directors in the animation world.
Sorry if we were too loud; our class is just so exciting! You
really should have taken it with me. My friend regarded me with
some mixture of pity and amusement as she spoke. I couldnt help
but roll my eyes.
During club week, among the rows of student organizations
there were an anime club, a manga club, a para-para club and a Ken-
do club. The Japanese class students, all fty of them, swarmed the
tables and soon the sign-ups were lled. Circling the auditorium twice
left me with only one Korean option: the Korean-American Students
Association with six members. Since I am quite obviously not Ko-
rean, I passed on joining.
By second semester, every time the class across the hall erupted
into yelling, cheering and/or applause, I imagined my class kicking
down their door and breaking into some sort of battle (epic Yakuza
vs. Busan Kkangpae2style). It never happened, but that odd inferior-
ity complex stuck with me.
My complex was only made worse by a certain phenomenon
among Westerners in Korea.
Many Westerners aim for Japan and if they dont make it they
choose Korea as though the two countries are somehow inter-
changeable. I noticed this the rst time I visited Korea, as part of a
conference that had a Japanese sister conference.
I actually applied to go to Japan, since it seems to be much cool-
er. One of my fellow American delegates was talking to me about
going to Korea for the rst time. But that conference is so popular
that I got wait-listed. Luckily the deadline for Korea hadnt yet passed,
so I just re-purposed my app and got in.
A chorus of me too!s erupted from seven of the other partici-
pants. The conversation dissolved into a discussion of other ways to
go to Japan after our conference ended - despite the fact that it had
hardly even begun.
This trend is larger than my 25-delegate conference. It has re-
sulted in a special type of visitor (short-term or long-term) to Korea.
They begin many sentences with in Japan. They end others with
would never happen in Japan.
As an ETA, I continued to hear almost daily comparisons of
Korea and Japan, complaints about areas where Korea differed.
Why does all of Korea smell? I never had this problem in Japan.
Korean ramen is seriously weird, where can I nd r eal ramen?
Hashtag Japan does it better!
I thought that this was only my complex, that I was simply too
sensitive about it.
Until I learned from my students that I was far from alone in this
sentiment. Despite the fact that they knew I spoke Korean, many of
them would still ask if I could speak Japanese, which always gave me
29
2. Japanese and Korean maias, respectively
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
34/48
pause until one of my students, Seok In, enlightened me as to why.
3, why is it that foreigners who come to Korea always speak
Japanese and never Korean? He sprung the question on me one day
after class.
What do you mean? I asked, genuinely stumped since I had
never heard of this generalization from a Korean.
Well, most times if you ask a foreigner if they speak Korean
they say, No, but I can speak Japanese! And I always wonder why
they come to Korea if they like Japan a lot. Its embarrassing; why
would they study Japanese but come to Korea?
Well, they probably want to experience Korea too, was my
lame excuse for a phenomenon that even I couldnt quite wrap my
head around.
Well, were impressed with you, . When we mention Korean
history, you know what were talking about; we feel comfortable with
you. Youre the rst foreigner Ive met who cares about Korea. You
must be unique in America.
Unique? Why?
Because everyone else studies Japan.
The shame hit me hard; I was still stunned when Seok In ran off
to his next class. This isnt just a passing curiosity for him. He, along
with the rest of Korea, has had years of history classes to remind him
that the darkest period in Korean history was courtesy of Japan. It
was Japan that colonized Korea for forty years and sought to rewrite
Korean history on its own terms. It was Japan that left Korea in 1945
tasked with redening Korea and Koreanness. It is no wonder that
today Korean nationalism burns as intensely as it does.
Korea has spent years climbing out of the shadows to carve its
own culture into the Wests imagined landscape of East Asia. Nin-
jas have no place there; neither does kung fu, nor communism for
that matter.
And yet, even as Koreans try to splash their unique qualities
(Dynamic Korea!4) across the globe, Westerners continue to ock to
Korea and ask for Japan. They leave disappointed by how boisterous
Koreans are (the Japanese are so orderly), how spicy the food is (Japanese
food is so much healthier), how nationalistic Koreans are (Japan doesnt need
to brag about itself).
And Koreans notice. Even my rural-area students somehow know
that many foreigners see Korea in terms of Japan. They feel the same
inferiority that I myself struggle with but for them, its personal.
Despite leaving Korea, I still have to listen to Korea-Japan com-
parisons at least once a week.
Dude, Korea is hella boring! A week into my new job, a group
of my co-workers had just returned from an Asia trip.
I perked up, despite my newbie status. No it isnt? I replied, won-
dering if this was some sort of running joke. My co-worker rolled his eyes.
Korea isnt the wrong choice. Theres a reason Koreanactors and directors are breaking into Hollywood,
Michelle Obama is making kimchi, and Google is nowhosting Korean pop concerts in the States.
3. A amiliar term or teacher 4. A Korean tourism slogan
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
35/48
Hell yeah it is, they dont have arcades or gambling or anything
worth buying. They dont even have toys; Korean kids just study. Tell
me one thing that Korea makes that I actually want to own? I spent
200,000 yen in Japan. In Korea, I spent like nothing. He had spent all
his money on arcade games, collectibles, DVDs and books things
that Japan is well-known for. The guys he had traveled with nodded
their heads in agreement, eyes on me. Why does anyone even go to
Korea? Whats it good for?
You see, I actually knowingly applied to work in an ofce of
Japanophiles at a streaming-media company that provides almost ex-
clusively Japanese content: anime, manga, Japanese dramas.
The timing worked out just right that they decided to branch
out into Korean media and needed a Korean brand manager at the
exact same time that I was desperately job-hunting for anything, never
expecting to nd a job that would actually allow me to use any of my
Korea-related knowledge.
I am now the Korean brand manager and one-woman Korean
media team. I have to prod the people around me (who mainly focus
on Japan) to help me when they have time. This also means that in
a company of 60 people, I am the only person who focuses solely
on Korea.
As I meet more and more people from the other sideof the ofce,
I have to explain and defend my interest in Korea nearly daily a
side effect of both the company environment and the fact that Im
white and in charge of the Korean brand.
But my answer to the why Korea? question has gradually im-
proved. My responses are no longer wavering and self-deprecating.
Korea isnt the wrong choice. Theres a reason Korean actors
and directors are breaking into Hollywood, Michelle Obama is mak-
ing kimchi, and Google is now hosting Korean pop concerts in the
States. Korea rose out of the Korean War and grew into an economic
and cultural powerhouse, spreading inuence throughout Asia and
the world. Why Korea? Its only a matter of time before Korea
answers thatquestion on its own.
Courtney McLachlan was a 2012-2013 ETA at Naju High School in Naju,
Jeollanam-do. She is now the Korean brand manager at Crunchyroll.
31
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
36/48
The school of my dreams
A light on a dark river
Floats gently away
Andrew Cheng. Jinju.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
37/48
33
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
38/48
1
I saw it with my own eyes
The hunched backs and bowed legs of ajummas,
backs that carry entire families.
The 108 prostrations of a congregation in repentance,
stationary steps on the long path to truth.
The grey hairs of 17-year-old boys who smile with nostalgia
at thoughts of the good old days.
2
to be blind in one eye
One eye to the immediate
One eye to the West
Home rests always in the peripheries
Clouding nows rounded corners
3
to be dizzy
/ Right / Left
/ East / West
/ Moving forward / Looking back
// To be strange // To be familiar
: Constantly calculating the time difference between my past and their future
Feeling disoriented
and yet
feeling wonderfully at home
Kristen Bialik
Note: (pronounced noon) means both snow and eyes in Korean.
EVERYT HING I SAW WAS NE W TO ME
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
39/48
4
with ones eyes shut
/ I am afraid of the eyes of the people
Eyes that stare
Eyes like laser beams
Eyelashes that bat in whispers
Pupils pointing out the obvious:
/ Foreigner
5
with ones eyes open
To lower ones gaze is to lose ones sight
Where tongues fail, eyes connect
Shared gazes in a shared humanity
Look!
Raise your eyes to meet the stares
Smile.
Say hello in local tongue
6
dazzling, glaring, blinding
Glaring: My otherness
Dazzling: The warmth with which Ive been welcomed, in light of blinding otherness
7
snowakes that come riding on the wind
Each new fact, new Korean word, new custom I learn is a snowake
A small crystallization, distinct in form
refracting light in a urry of culture
It is a particle of water, singular in form
but of the same water that spans its ancient history
It melts on my tongue
I cannot hold its shape
Can only wait for it to snow again
35
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
40/48
8
The snow is staying
Words crystallizing on a frozen tongue
Sticking as the ground beneath my feet feels
harder, more stable
/ snow-covered
Language and culture falling
blanketing, like a dazzling mound of snow
9
//
the rst snowfall // love at rst sight
It was warm November when I looked up the road to Halla mountain
And in the distance saw the rst snow-capped peaks
Snow with origins in the sea to my back
And I laughed in delight
/ in the twinkling of an eye
falling in love with this place all over again
10
to be awakened
To know Ill never fully understand
To know I understand more than when I rst arrived
That, in truth, Ive never understood more
about the illusion of difference,
that our eyes have seen the same things:
Visions of pride and pain
Visions of heartache and love
Visions of people lost in a blinding blink of snow
Kristen Bialik is a 2012-2014 ETA at Seogwipo High School in Seogwipo, Jeju-do.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
41/48
Persimmon Season. Judy Her. Jeongeup.
37
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
42/48
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
43/48
Beach. Sarah Chen. Sinan-gun.
39
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
44/48
Little Buddha. Katelyn Hemmeke. Haeinsa Temple, Hapcheon-gun.
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
45/48
Kaley Curtis
WE HAVE LOVE AND
THE GOD OUTSIDE
I live in the small moments. I do not remember the details of
my rst date or that trip to China my family took sometime in high
school. But I can tell you about the exact moment when I was 6 years
old crossing the L.A. River on Pacic Street and my sister said her
rst word (uh-oh) as she heard sirens in the distance. I remember
sitting under a crooked tree in Providence, opening my Fulbright ac-
ceptance packet with a friend. The comfortable familiarity of having
sat together exactly like this countless times before, suddenly inter-
rupted by the realization that my college days of midnight walking
and ninja gardening were coming to a close. Why do people leave
after theyve found providence, when theyve woven scraps of family
into a blanket to fold around them on cold nights?
I came home to L.A. before leaving for Korea. I went to my dads
softball game for the rst time and saw seals and dolphins at Zuma
Beach with my mom too-fast summer memories like fragmentary
glimpses between speeding trains. I remember reading after everyone
was asleep and banging my shins on the furniture in the dark. Think-
ing this is what I get for having twin lives on two coasts, and nding
one answer to that nagging question what is home? A place you can
navigate in the dark.
Korea began sticky and sweaty at a marble university tucked ingreen mountains and rice elds. Orientation like summer camp: dorm
rooms, after-school clubs, excursions out of town. And then one day
camp was over and it was time to start new lives with homes and
families, and this was also Korea. The rst night I asked my host
parents what I should call them. Unsure, they looked at each other
and laughed until my host dad nally suggested, King and queen?
So I put them in my phone as and and called them that
for months. And so my rst semester passed in a blur of resolving
awkwardness with humor, guring out what to call people, when to
bow, how to stumble through Korean, how to teach, how to deal
with crying and bleeding and yelling children, how to be a sister and
daughter and teacher.
Small moments teased from the tumble and tangle of home and
family in Korea: My host siblings asking permission to pull blonde
hairs from my head, running around the house yelling We found
gold! Were rich! The kindergartener who does a full insa2 to each
lunch lady reaching to pat my head and say Merry Christmas. A con-
versation with a rst grader: Does Spiderman really live in Ameri-
ca? Yes. Really? For real? Yes. Having the same conversation
the next two days. Taking a break from New Years cooking to lie
under warm blankets with my host mom and aunts, gossiping about
husbands, food, beauty. Thinking I could learn to love these women,
love this life.
I dont know what you call a place you never expected to call
home, where none of your oatmeal banana chocolate chip pancakefriends can follow you. Leaving home for a country town where time
moves slowly along the riverbank on the way home from school,
pausing for a ower, ice fractaling across a puddle, leaving the nam-
ing country.
1. From the poem The Diverse Causes by Michael Ondaatje2. Greetings, traditionally in the orm o a bow
41
1
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
46/48
Why do people leave afer theyve ound providence,when theyve woven scraps o amily into a blanket to
old around them on cold nights?
Ive written so many letters to friends, trying to explain my life
here. Dear friend, let me prepare a feast for you. To your right is the
soup, usually ocean-derived and salty, reminding me of the California
coast and family I am missing back home. In front is the rice, pre-
cisely measured by my Korean mother based on how hungry I am
that day. She makes the most delicious rice in Korea, a careful blend
of sticky rice, dry rice and red beans. Before you are the side dishes:
radish and cabbage kimchi, dried sh in caramelized peanuts, sesame-
dipped beans, boiled radish leaves, whole poached sh lovingly pre-
pared by our grandmother. We nibble bits and pieces throughout the
meal and I have come to love:
All these twin truths, love spilling from so many countries. These
are the pieces I have of them here tonight, little moments tied to my
wrist with string, pieces of home bobbing across continents.
Kaley Curtis is a 2012-2014 ETA at Cheonan Yong-So Elementary School in
Cheonan, Chuncheongnam-do.
This bird-like way of eating,
kimchi stew, country life,
this Korean family who loves me,
the host mother who carries
happiness like sunshine
my American family
stupidly steep Providence hills
musical pirates, friends sipping
late-night Dark and Stormies
on unsound porches
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
47/48
Headed for Hongseong. Neal Singleton. Cheonan.
43
-
8/12/2019 Infusion Volume 7, Issue 1
48/48