In the Gloaming Episode 3 December 2009- The Night Whisperers

8/14/2019 In the Gloaming Episode 3 December 2009- The Night Whisperers

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IN THE GLOAMING EPISODE 3 December 2009: The NightWhisperers

By

Nathaniel Tapley


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Cast of Characters

Melmoth Darkleigh: Nathaniel Tapley

Laura: Emma Powell

Gary: John Voce

Sheila: Sally Chattaway

Andrea: Lizzie Roper

Brian: Darren Strange

Daphne: Zoe S Battley

Roy: Nathaniel Tapley

Ghost: Ruth Bratt


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IN THE GLOAMING EPISODE 3 DECEMBER 2009: THE NIGHTWHISPERERS

Scene 1: Melmoths castle

(MELMOTHS CASTLE - THE WIND HOWLS, AND THERE

ARE MOANS AND CRIES IN THE BACKGROUND.)

SOUND: A HAMMERING SOUND, AS IF MELMOTH IS PUTTING UPDECORATIONS.

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHDeck the halls with boughs of chicken, fa la la lala, la la la la. Tis the season to be sick in, fa lala la la, la la la la. Don we now our gay apparel, fala la la la la la la la.

SOUND: THE HAMMERING GETS A LITTLE MORE FERVENT.

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHSealing guests inside a barrel. Fa la la la la, la lala la.

SOUND: THERE ARE MUFFLED SHOUTS AS THE FINAL NAIL ISPOUNDED IN.

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHWell hello! Come in! Come in! Come in and warmyourselves.

SOUND: AN OPEN FIRE CRACKLES AND POPS

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHIn this increasingly commercial age its all too easyto lose sight of the true story of Christmas: whereGod rapes an underaged girl, forces her to bear hischild, ensures that she gives birth in an unsanitaryshed, makes her - and the husband who resents bothher and the child that isnt his - leave theirfriends and families and go into hiding for yearswhilst ensuring all of the babies and toddlers inIsrael are put to death. It never fails to warm mycynical, old heart. So, in the true Christmas spirit,

this months tale is: The Night Whisperers.

SOUND: HE POKES THE FIRE

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHMmmm... Theres nothing I like more than the smell ofchestnuts roasting over an open fire.

SOUND: THERE ARE SCREAMS IN THE FIRE SOUNDS.

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHChess nuts, Monopoly nuts, fans of any board game,really...


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2.

Scene 2: A BEDROOM. NIGHT

(GARY AND LAURA ARE ASLEEP, GENTLY SNORING)

SOUND: A BABY MONITOR CRACKLES INTO LIFE, AND WE HEAR ABABY CRYING.

SOUND: THE BABY CONTINUES CRYING.

LAURAGary.

SOUND: PAUSE, THE CRYING GOES ON.

LAURAGary.

SOUND: NO RESPONSE.

LAURAGary!

GARY(SUDDENLY AWAKE)Im doing the thing! Im in the middle of the thing.Im doing it. What?

LAURAIts your turn.

GARY

What time is it?

LAURA3:42

GARYI just did one at 3!

LAURAAnd I did one at 3:15. Its your turn.

SOUND: PAUSE.

GARYBloody hell.

SOUND: GARY GETTING OUT OF BED, AND LEAVING THE ROOM.

GARY(HEARD THROUGH THE MONITOR)All right, Boofles, all right. Whos Daddys smellygirl? Yes, whos Daddys smelly girl? Shall we takeyour nappy off? Shall we? Whos Daddys- Oh God! OhGod! What did you eat? Why is it green. And moving.And- No! Its pouring out! Hang on! Dont startweeing as well. Dont wee on my hands. Dont wee on

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 3.

GARY (contd)your hands! Dont put your wee-covered hands in yourmouth! Now, Ive dropped the- Theres human poo onthe floor. Theres no need for human poo to be on thefloor. Have you finished? Good. You liar! You saidyoud finished...

SCENE 3: A BEDROOM. NIGHT

(WE FADE IN AS GARY RE-ENTERS, MUTTERING)

SOUND: GARY FLUMPS BACK DOWN ONTO THE BED.

GARYShe hates me.

LAURAGary.

GARYShe saves it up because she hates me.

LAURAGary.

GARYWhat?

LAURAI love you.

SOUND: BEAT.

SOUND: THE MONITOR GOES OFF, AND THE BABY IS CRYING AGAIN.

LAURAI think this is technically still part of yourturn...

SOUND: GARY GETTING UP AGAIN.

GARYShe hates me.

SCENE 4: INT. KITCHEN. MORNING

(THERE ARE VARIOUS EARLY MORNING SOUNDS. THEKETTLE IS BOILING)

SOUND: LAURA YAWNS.

SOUND: GARY SHUFFLES IN.

LAURAIs she asleep?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 4.

GARYI dont know. She might just be preparing an ambush.

LAURAOh, stop. Do you want anything?

GARYFor the cold, clammy hand of death to come quicklyand take me to the rest and silence of the grave.

LAURAWith sugar?

GARYTwo, please.

SOUND: LAURA MAKES A CUP OF TEA.

GARY What time do the baying hordes arrive?

LAURAMy parents will be here at three. Yours will be herelate afternoon.

GARYWhy did we agree to a big family Christmas again?

LAURAIm not sure we did.

GARYWe could take advantage of her being down, and no onegetting here for a few hours...

LAURAWhat are you suggesting?

GARYWell, I thought we could go upstairs...

LAURAYes?

GARYAnd take off all of our clothes...

LAURAPyjamas, but yes?

GARYAnd then we could have a good, hard nap.

LAURAMmmm...

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 5.

GARYMultiple snoregasms.

LAURAThat sounds lovely.

GARYHappy Christmas Eve.

SOUND: THEY CUDDLE.

SOUND: A VERY LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR.

SOUND: BOTH GARY & LAURA SIGH.

SOUND: MORE BANGING.

SOUND: THE BABY BEGINS CRYING FROM UPSTAIRS.

SCENE 5: INT. FRONT HALL.CONTINUOUS.

(THE BANGING CONTINUES, AND THE CRYING CONTINUESUPSTAIRS)

SOUND: THE DOOR IS OPENED.

GARYHello, Sheila-

SHEILA

Gary. Sorry were early. Couldnt be avoided. Carrythese would you. This is Andrea. Say hello, Andrea.

ANDREAHello.

SHEILADont slouch, Andrea, weve nothing to be ashamed of.Were coming in, Gary. get those bags up to our room,would you?

SOUND: THEY PUSH IN PAST GARY.

GARYWhy dont you-

SHEILA(OFF)Gary, where do you keep the herbal teas?

GARYMake yourselves at home.


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SCENE 6: THE KITCHEN

(SHEILA AND ANDREA ARE CLATTERING ABOUT THEKITCHEN)

SHEILA

Andrea, will you pass me that teapot. No, the bigone, Andrea, the big one, dont be such a clot!Sometimes I wonder what youve got between your ears.

ANDREA(FEELING HER HEAD)At the back its mainly hair. The front has a varietyof facial features. Do you want me to go through allof them?

SOUND: LAURA COMES IN WITH A CRYING BABY

LAURASh-sh-sh-sh. Mum, what are you doing here so early?

SHEILADarling, the traffic was awful and you really shoulddo something about these cupboards. Is that the baby?It looks lovely.

SOUND: THE BABY WAILS.

SHEILAGive it to Andrea, she used to be a midwife. Wheresthat husband of yours got to?

LAURAHes taking your things upstairs. Wheres Dad?

ANDREABaby needs sausage.

LAURAWhat?

SHEILAListen to Andrea, darling, she trained in the 70s,

when it meant something. Have you got a sausage forthe baby?

LAURANo!

ANDREAThats a sausage cry.

SHEILAAndrea says thats a sausage cry.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 7.

ANDREAHow much sausage is Baby on at the moment?

LAURANone!

ANDREABaby should be on at least four chipolatas or a longlink of Cumberland by this age.

LAURAMum, who is this woman? And wheres Dad?

SOUND: A SCREECH OF CAR BRAKES ON GRAVEL OUTSIDE.

SHEILAIgnore him, Laura. Ignore whatever he says.

SOUND: A CAR DOOR SLAMS, AND FOOTSTEPS RUN TOWARDS THEHOUSE.

LAURAWhat is this, Mum?

SHEILAHow do you open this window?

SOUND: WINDOW BEING OPENED, AND SHEILA LEANING OUT.

SHEILAGo away! Youre not wanted here!

LAURAYes, he is!

BRIAN(OUTSIDE THE WINDOW)Sheila! Dont do this to me, Sheila! Think of all thegood times we had, Sheila. Think of all the bridge weplayed!

SHEILAGo away, Brian!

BRIANI cant live without you Sheila. I cant live withoutyou, I cant eat without you. Im not sure how thecooker works!

SHEILAIts all very well-

BRIANIs it in Fahrenheit or Celcius? It doesnt say. Whatdoes fan-assisted mean? Do I have to fan it? Pleasecome back to me, Sheila!

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 8.

SHEILABrian, Im with Andrea now.

ANDREAStay strong, Sheila.

BRIANIs she in there? Ill get you, you home-wrecker!

SOUND: BRIAN TRYING TO CLIMB IN THROUGH THE WINDOW.

BRIANYou wrecked a home with your tongue and stubble-freekissing!

LAURADad! Come in through the front door.

SHEILAGo home, Brian!

BRIANI should have known. She even looks like a man. Shesgot a wide, mans face!

ANDREAIt just looks wide from the front!

BRIANWhat do you see in her? What do you do together?

SHEILAShe pays attention to me, Brian. Shes interested inme.

BRIANI see. And what do you two do together?

SHEILAWe talk. We listen to the Archers. We play onlinegolf games.

BRIAN

And dildoes? Are there a lot of dildoes involved?

ANDREAYes. Weve both got them in our arms.

SOUND: BEAT.

SHEILAThose are elbows, Andrea, you stay out of this.

SOUND: GARY COMES IN

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 9.

GARYWhats all the noise?

SHEILAAndrea and I are lesbians.

LAURASince when?

SHEILAIts been about an hour and a half now.

SOUND: KNOCKING ON THE KITCHEN DOOR

DAPHNEKnock knock! Only us. Sorry were early, but we knowhow treacherous that road is so we left nine hours toget here. Is that tea? Can I smell tea? Lets have

some tea. Roy, theyve got the tea on.

ROYOh yeah?

DAPHNETea, Roy. This must be the baby. Hello, you. Needsmore sausage. Sluggish. Right. Whos who? JesusChrist! Excuse my French but you have got one verywide face. Dont she, Roy? I said: Dont she have awide face? Wide, Roy, isnt her face wide? Eh? Eh?

ROY

Oh yeah. Very wide.

GARYIll get everyone some tea.

SCENE 7: INT. A BEDROOM. DAY

(LAURA IS GENTLY COOING TO THE BABY)

SOUND: THE DOOR OPENS.

GARY

Ah, there you are.

LAURAWere just getting ready to have some food, arentwe, Boofles?

GARYIve put a camp bed up for your dad in the livingroom. He keeps looking at our DVDs to see if wevegot any about lesbians; your mum and Andrea arearranging the herbal teas by season; and my parentsare rifling through the booze. And you knowsomething?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 10.

LAURAWhat?

GARYYou look beau-

SOUND: THE WHINE AND SPLASH OF AN EXPRESSING MACHINE.

LAURASorry. I cant hear you over the sound of theexpressing machine.

GARYI was saying how beautiful you-

LAURANo, the sound of my breasts being electronicallyelongated and compressed to squeeze fluid out of themis making it very difficult to hear you.

GARYI love you!

LAURAYeah. Black, no sugar!

GARYRight. Bye.

SOUND: GARY GOES OUT

LAURAYou know what I wish, Boofles? I wish theyd all justleave us alone...

SCENE 8: THE DINING ROOM

(EVERYONE IS EATING OVER AN UNCOMFORTABLESILENCE.)

ANDREASo, Baby hasnt taken to the breast?

LAURA

No, not really.

ANDREAWell, in these situations, Laura, sometimes theproblem isnt with Baby. Sometimes the problem iswith the breast.

LAURAPardon?

ANDREAI could show you how to get her to latch on if you

want. If you take the breast like this, and squeezedown hard with a twisting motion-

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 11.

LAURAOw!

ANDREAThe nipple should present quite cleanly.

LAURAIm bleeding!

ANDREAAh, the red milk! Thats the sign of a good feed.

ROY(TO HIS WIFE)So, the one with the wide face, is he the dad?

DAPHNENo, thats the mothers girlfriend. Theyre lesbians.

ROYSay again.

DAPHNETheyre lesbians.

ROYSay again.

DAPHNELesbians.

ROYDidnt catch it.

DAPHNELesbians.

ROYAnd again.

DAPHNELesbians.

ROYEh?

DAPHNELesbians.

ROYOh, I know. From the Lebanon.

SHEILAYou really should let Andrea help, darling. Itsperfectly obvious that that baby has a butterdeficiency. It should be on an all-butter diet.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 12.

GARYShes not an it, shes a she.

BRIANWhat I dont understand is, if youre going to havevibrators, why not just stick with men?

ANDREAIf you mash some gin and spam up into a paste, itworks wonders for colic.

SHEILAThis quiche is really very adequate, darling.

SOUND: ROY BEGINS COUGHING VIGOROUSLY.

ROYOh dear.

DAPHNEOh dear.

ROYOh no.

DAPHNEOh no.

ROYI cant eat that.

DAPHNEHe cant eat that.

ROYTheres something in that.

DAPHNETheres something in that.

ROYThats got something in. Smell that.

DAPHNEUrgh. There is. There is something in that.

LAURATheres onion in it.

DAPHNEOh no!

SOUND: ROY RETCHES

DAPHNEOnions? Well I never did.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 13.

ROYThat turns my stomach that does.

SOUND: THERE IS THE SOUND OF CRYING OVER THE MONITOR.

DAPHNE

Revolting.

LAURAShhh!

DAPHNEHell need some water.

LAURAIm going to have to go to her.

GARY

Just leave her. Shes got to learn to put herselfback to sleep. Right. Ill get you a glass of water,Dad.

SOUND: ROY GAGS AGAIN.

ROYThank you.

SOUND: GARY LEAVES.

DAPHNEOnions! Cheese! This whole things a disast-

LAURAShhhh!

SOUND: WE HEAR A SHUSHING OVER THE MONITOR, AND THE BABYIS SOOTHED.

SOUND: PAUSE.

DAPHNERude. Roy could have choked, you know.

SOUND: GARY COMES BACK IN, AND PUTS A GLASS DOWN IN FRONTOF ROY.

GARYThere you go.

LAURAThank you.

GARYWhat for?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 14.

LAURAFor going in to her.

GARYI didnt.

LAURAWe heard you shushing her. Over the monitor.

GARYYou heard the tap running maybe. I was getting Dadsome water.

LAURAThats not funny, Gary. Thats really not funny!

SOUND: LAURA GETS UP AND LEAVES THE TABLE.

SOUND: GARY SIGHS AND GOES AFTER HER.

DAPHNEYou know who is funny? Joe Pasquale.

SCENE 9: INT. THE KITCHEN.CONTINUOUS

(GENTLE SNORING CAN BE HEARD THROUGH THE BABYMONITOR. THE PARENTS CAN BE HARD TALKING ANDLAUGHING THROUGH THE WALL.)

SOUND: GARY COMES IN

GARYWhats the matter?

LAURANothings the matter, Im just listening to her. Ifshe stops breathing well never hear with all thatracket in there.

SOUND: THE BABY SNUFFLES AND MURMURS

LAURA

Shes stirring. Its too loud.

GARYShell be fine.

SOUND: GARY COMES UP BEHIND HER AND PUTS HIS ARMS AROUNDHER.

LAURAYou didnt go in to her?

GARYNo, she put herself back to sleep.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 15.

SOUND: SOMEONE COOING GENTLY TO THE BABY, SHUSHING ANDSAYING COMFORTING THINGS.

GARYSee, someone even heard her then and went to see.Its not too loud. It will all be all right.

SOUND: SOMEONE HUMMING SILENT NIGHT

SOUND: GARY KISSES THE BACK OF LAURAS NECK.

GARYCome on, lets go back in.

SCENE 10. INT. THE DINING ROOM.CONTINUOUS

(WINE GLASSES ARE GETTING KNOCKED, AND CUTLERY

DEALT WITH MORE HEAVILY. BOOZE IS FLOWING)

BRIANIs it the fingering? Is it because there hasnt beenenough fingering recently.

SHEILAIts not the fingering.

BRIANSince the Millennium I just havent felt up to it.But, dont forget, I fingered you for almost 72 hourssolid during the Guildford Folk Festival 1974. I

couldnt write for a week after that. My fingers werethe texture of lemon drizzle cake.

ANDREAI love lemon drizzle cake.

BRIANIts a good cake. Rubbish at holding a pen, though.

SOUND: GARY AND LAURA COME BACK IN, WITH THE MONITOR. THESINGING IS STILL GOING ON.

GARYIs that Mum up there with Boofle, then?

ROYHang on, mouth full, chewing, chewing, with you anysecond.

SOUND: HE SWALLOWS EXTRAVAGANTLY.

ROYNo.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 16.

SHEILAShes under the table. She had Deal Or No Dealdownloaded, and wanted to catch up while she wasntmissing anything up here.

DAPHNE

(FROM UNDER THE TABLE)No deal, Noel!

SOUND: THE HUMMING IS STILL COMING FROM THE MONITOR.

GARYOh no.

SOUND: GARY AND LAURA RUN OUT OF THE DOOR.

DAPHNEWell, under normal curcumstances he shouldnt have

dealt. Got lucky, Noel. He got very lucky.

SCENE 11: INT. THE NURSERY.CONTINUOUS

(THE BABY IS SNORING SLIGHTLY)

SOUND: THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN, AND GARY AND LAURA FALL INTOTHE ROOM.

LAURABut there was someone here! I heard her!

GARYI heard her, too. I heard her... I think I heard her.

SOUND: LAURA IS OPENING CUPBOARDS, AND LOOKING UNDER THECOT.

GARYMaybe it was just coming through from next door.

LAURAWhy would the Jewish family next door be playingSilent Night?

GARYBecause they like the tune? Maybe it was picking upnoise from the street.

LAURAIt was a woman, Gary, I heard her. You heard her.

GARYI thought I heard her.

SOUND: THE BABY BEGINS TO CRY.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 17.

LAURANow look what youve done.

GARYWhat Ive done?

LAURAJust go and look after everyone, would you?

GARYFine. Fine.

SOUND: GARY LEAVES.

SOUND: LAURA STARTS SHUSHING AND ROCKING THE BABY.

SCENE 12: INT. THE DINING ROOM.CONTINUOUS.

(THE PARENTS ARE ALL QUITE MERRY NOW.)

SHEILAIts a fact. Children are too mollycoddled thesedays. It stunts their brains. Just look at all of thethings that used to be good for babies.

ANDREASpam.

SHEILASpam.

ANDREAFirework displays. The cold. All healthy things.

DAPHNECigarette smoke. Our ones loved cigarette smoke,didnt they, Roy? Couldnt get enough of it.

ANDREAYouve got to show a baby whos boss. Sometimesgetting a hat with Im the boss written on ithelps.

SOUND: GARY COMES BACK IN.

GARYLook, Lauras coming back in a minute, lets talkabout something else.

SHEILASee? Swimming in the canal. And they all survived.All except Derek Forbes. he drowned. The point was,whatever didnt kill you made you stronger.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 18.

BRIANApart from polio. That could leave you really badlycrippled.

SHEILAYes, but it was healthy crippled in those days. There

werent ramps and wheelchairs. You got on with it.

GARYMaybe Ill go and get her.

SOUND: GARY LEAVING

DAPHNEThere werent as many blacks back then, either.

SCENE 13: INT A BEDROOM.CONTINUOUS

(LAURA IS LISTENING TO THE MONITOR AGAIN,BREATHING NERVOUSLY)

GARYThere you are! What are you doing in the bedroom inthe dark?

LAURAListening.

GARYIt was just a noise.

SOUND: THROUGH THE MONITOR THE MOBILE STARTS TO PLAY.

LAURAWhats that?

GARYIts the mobile, its probably in a draught.

LAURAThats it. Im bringing her in here.

GARYDont bring her in here. Shes got to get used to herown room.

LAURAIm going-

GARYDont!

SOUND: HE GRABS HER.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 19.

LAURAGary, will you let go of my arm?

GARYFine. But Im not sleeping in here if she is.

LAURAThen I guess youre not sleeping in here.

SOUND: SHE LEAVES.

GARYThis is ridiculous.

SOUND: HE STAMPS OUT.

SOUND: OVER THE MONITOR WE HEAR A CHUCKLE.

SOUND: OVER THE MONITOR WE HEAR THE NURSERY DOOR OPEN, ANDLAURA SAYING HELLO, BABY...

SCENE 14: INT. THE DINING ROOM.CONTINUOUS.

(THEY ARE ALMOST SCREECHING NOW)

SHEILAPrecisely. If hes a black and hes a bastard, itsnot racist to call him a black bastard is it. Itsjust a statement of fact.

SOUND: GARY STORMS IN.

GARYRight. Bedtime. Dinners over. Time for bed.

DAPHNEHes sending us to bed, Roy! Our own son, is sendingus to bed. Why, the cheek of it! The nerve of it! WhyIve a good mind to give him a damn good thrashing.

ROYOh yeah.

GARYThe quicker you get to bed, the quicker you can openyour presents in the morning.

DAPHNEThat is true. Come on, Roy, lets get to bed.

ROYOh yeah, is it?

SOUND: DAPHNE & ROY LEAVE

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 20.

ANDREASorry, where do we hang our stockings?

GARYIm afraid, Andrea, that no one knew you were coming,so-

ANDREAYou dont think Father Christmas will be able to findme. I knew this would happen! He cant find me anyyear!

SHEILACome on, lets see if we cant write him a note.

ANDREAIts not fair!

SOUND: ANDREA & SHEILA LEAVE

SOUND: GARY STARTS MOVING FURNITURE AND MAKING BEDS.

BRIANSo. Just us men, eh Gary? Time to crack open thesingle malt and talk about the ladies until dawn.

GARYBrian, Im going to be sleeping on the sofa, so Idappreciate if you kept quiet.

SOUND: GARY PUTTING OUT PILLOWS AND DUVETS AND GETTING

UNDRESSED

BRIANRight you are. Straight off to bed. No messing about.No messing about in bed like the lesbians do. So,what do you think about Sheila becoming a lezzer,then, Gary? Whats it like to have a muff-diver for amother-in-law.

GARYIm turning off the light, Brian.

SOUND: LIGHT SWITCH.

BRIANOoh, dark. Very dark.

SOUND: PAUSE.

BRIANDark enough to get up to some really lesbian stuff, Ireckon. Probably having a go at the old soixante-neufas we speak. Tentative at first, shes new to this,but she warms quickly to the soft touch of anotherwoman,as her tongue-

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 21.

GARYRight, Im going to sleep in the shed!

SOUND: GARY LEAVES.

SCENE 15: A BEDROOM. NIGHT

(LAURA IS ROCKING BOOFLES, WHO IS GURGLINGHAPPILY)

LAURAShhh, my boofle baby, shhhh... Thats it. Thats it.Only a few more minutes until your first Christmas.Thats right. Christmas Day. I just wish we couldspend it alone.

SOUND: THE WINDOWS BEGIN TO RATTLE.

LAURAWhats that? Why are the windows shaking? Its just aplane going over or something.

SOUND: THE WINDOWS SHAKE LOUDER

LAURAWhats going on? Whats going on?

SOUND: A THROATY CHUCKLE IS AUDIBLE AS THE WINDOWS ANDFURNITURE RATTLES.

LAURA

Who is it? What is it?

GHOSTIm coming! Im coming!

SOUND: THE RATTLING GROWS LOUDER.

SOUND: LAURA SCREAMS.

SOUND: THE BABY CRIES.

SOUND: THE RATTLING BECOMES DEAFENING.

SCENE 16. A BEDROOM. NIGHT

(THERE IS DEAFENING SNORING. DAPHNE AND ROY AREBOTH SNORING VERY LOUDLY.)

SOUND: THE CHUCKLE BEGINS.

GHOST(WHISPERED)Death... Death...

SOUND: ROY WAKES

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 22.

ROYEh? Whassat?

GHOSTDeath... Death...

SOUND: BEAT.

ROYSay again?

GHOSTDeath...

ROYAnd again?

GHOST

Your death...

ROYCome again.

GHOST(DROPPING OUT OF A WHISPER)Oh, for Christs sake! Your death! Im talking aboutyour death!

ROYOh yeah, I know. Yeah. Very good.

DAPHNE(WAKING)What is it Roy?

ROYIts a wossname.

GHOSTA ghost.

ROYOh yeah.

GHOSTIm a ghost. Ive come to haunt you with a vision ofChristmas past.

DAPHNESorry, what was your name again? I havent got myglasses on.

GHOSTIm a phantasm, what does it matter what my name is?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 23.

DAPHNEMy names Daphne, this is Roy, whats your name?

GHOSTI- It doesnt- Fine. Amelia. My name is Amelia. Happynow?

DAPHNEThats not a very good name for a ghost.

GHOSTThis is why I didnt want us to get bogged down innames.

DAPHNEI can see why. That is a rubbish name.

GHOST

Just hush.

SOUND: THERE IS A WHOOSHING SOUND.

SCENE 17: EXT. A PUB. NIGHT.

(THE WIND HOWLS, AND RAIN FALLS.)

DAPHNEWhy are we here? In the rain? Oh, thats our old pub!Hello, our old pub!

GHOST

Look! Here comes a young man, carrying a big pack onhis back, desperate to get out of the rain.

SOUND: BANGING ON AN OLD DOOR. WE CAN HEAR ALL OF THESOUND EFFECTS BEHIND THE STORY.

GHOSTAnd here you are inviting him in.

DAPHNENow, that was a nice blouse. I liked that blouse.

GHOSTAnd, in order to repay you for your kindness, hesoffering to make you some soup.

DAPHNEYou like soup, dont you, Roy?

ROYOh yeah.

GHOSTAnd here you are tasting the soup.

SOUND: A SLURPING NOISE.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 24.

SOUND: OH NO. OH GOD NO. THERES SOMETHING IN THAT.

SOUND: A SCUFFLE.

GHOSTBut you didnt like the soup. In fact you disliked it

so much you...

SOUND: THERE IS A CLUBBING SOUND.

GHOSTYou beat the young man to death.

ROYThere was something in that soup.

DAPHNEIt was disgusting.

SOUND: A GRINDING NOISE.

GHOSTAnd you minced up his body to use in your publasagne. But, whats this?

SOUND: A BABY CRYING.

GHOSTIn the mans pack there was a baby. And you cantmince up a baby, can you? But you could keep him tosell him. Only trouble is, you never find a buyer.

DAPHNENo, they didnt like the look of him. Ugly littlebleeder. Waste of time that was.

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 18: INT. THE KITCHEN. NIGHT

(THERE IS A HISSING SOUND. THE GAS IS ON.)

DAPHNE

Now what are we doing in Gary and Lauras kitchen?

GHOSTTheres a nice surprise for you at the back of theoven.

DAPHNEWhat is it?

GHOSTWhy dont you lean in and take a look?

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 25.

DAPHNEAll right. I will.(HER HEAD IN THE OVEN)No, I cant see anything, but I can smell something,I can smell gas.

SOUND: THE GHOST BEGINS TO CHUCKLE

DAPHNENo Let me go. Shes pushing me in, Roy, shes pushingme in! Get her off me, Roy?

ROYOh dear.

SOUND: ROY GRABS AN IMPLEMENT. DAPHNE CONTINUESSTRUGGLING, CLANGING AGAINST THE SIDES OF THE OVEN.

GHOSTWhats that, Roy? Are you going to some at me withthe electric carving knife? Are you?

ROYUm. Yeah.

GHOSTBut what would happen if the knife didnt want youto, Roy? What would happen if the cord decided towrap itself around your neck, Roy?

SOUND: A FWIP, AND ROY STARTS GURGLING

GHOSTAnd then it attached itself to the light fitting,Roy, so you were hanging up like a Christmasdecoration. How long do you reckon youd live, Roy?How long? Longer than Daphne?

SOUND: ROY AND DAPHNE GURGLE AND DIE.

GHOSTHm. About the same.

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 19: INT. ANDREAS FLAT.NIGHT

(THERE IS A FAINT MEOWING SOUND)

SOUND: WHOOSH

ANDREAWhy am I back in my flat? Im not done with being alesbian!

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 26.

GHOSTBut you arent a lesbian, are you, Andrea?

ANDREAI am! I love lezzing off and golf!

GHOSTNo, Andrea, youre just a very lonely lady who ranoff so quickly she forgot to leave food for her cats.

ANDREAOh, my babies!

SOUND: MORE FAINT MEOWING

GHOSTTheyre not looking very well, are they, Andrea? Thatone looks all right. Fat, even. But didnt you used

to have another one, a little one?

ANDREAWhat is this?

GHOSTThis is now. This is Christmas Present.

SOUND: BEAT.

ANDREASorry. To be clear, does that mean youre going togive me a present?

GHOSTNo. But I can help you get back to your cats.

ANDREAOh, please yes!

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 20: EXT. A BUSY ROAD. NIGHT

(CARS RUSH PAST AT GREAT SPEED)

GHOSTLook, you can hail a cab. Just answer me one thing.When did you intend to kill her?

ANDREAKill who?

GHOSTSheila. Shes got lots of money you know.

ANDREAI know.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 27.

GHOSTIs that why you put rat poison in her quiche?

ANDREAYes.

GHOSTThanks. Off you go.

SOUND: A LOUD SQUEAL OF BRAKES, ANDREA SCREAMS, THERE IS ACRASH.

GHOSTThis is a very treacherous stretch of road.

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 21: EXT. A GRAVEYARD.

NIGHT.

(THERE IS THE SOUND OF A FUNERAL IN PROGRESS.)

SOUND: WHOOSH

BRIANWhat am I doing here? Who are you?

SHEILAAnd whys he-

GHOST

Right. Short version. Im a ghost. This is ChristmasFuture.

SHEILAAnd whats your name?

GHOSTWhat difference does it make?

SHEILAI shall want to know who Im complaining about ifthis vision isnt up to scratch. I saw a fortune

teller in Worthing last year. Rubbish visions. I needto know-

GHOSTFine. My name is Amelia.

BRIANThats a rubbish name for a ghost.

GHOSTI know!

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 28.

BRIANSo, whose funeral is this? There are two coffins?

SHEILAA big one and a little one.

GHOSTCar crash. Theyd left Gary at home, and were comingto see the two of you. Of course, you now lived indifferent houses, so the had to drive between them,and the road was slippery, and the other driver wason his way back from the office Christmas party.

SOUND: SOIL BEING THROWN ONTO COFFIN LIDS.

BRIANShes down there. Shes down there in that box.

SHEILAWhat do we have to do to stop this?

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 22: EXT. THE ROOF. NIGHT

(THE WIND BLOWS AND OWLS HOOT)

SOUND: WHOOSH

SHEILAWhy are we up on the roof. What is it you want us to

do?

BRIANDont you see? If they were driving between ourhouses then we should get back together, so theywouldnt have to!

GHOSTNo. You should kill yourselves.

BRIANBut getting back together would have the same effect.

GHOSTTechnically yes, but the point of the visions is to-

BRIANHow about it, Sheila, will you take me back to saveour childs life?

SHEILAIm sorry, Brian, its over.

BRIANBut if we dont, then...

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 29.

GHOSTThen youll have to kill yourselves. Chop chop.

BRIANCouldnt we just live in the same house, so theywouldnt have to-

SHEILAIm afraid not, Brian. Cant be done.

BRIANRight, then. Ill go first. I just have to know onething before I die.

GHOSTWhats that?

BRIAN

Did you do any lezzing last night before you went tosleep.

SHEILABrian, we were both very tired.

BRIANOh.

SOUND: PAUSE.

SHEILAAll right, then, we did a little bit.

BRIANThank youuuuuuuuuu.

SOUND: BRIANS BODY HITTING THE GROUND FAR BELOW.

GHOSTAnd now its your turn, Sheila.

SHEILANo, but I dont have to if he has, do I? Then thereare no two separate houses! Ha! Look! Look, its

changing, I changed it!

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 23: INT. THE DINING ROOM.DAY

(THERE IS A FAMILY MEAL WITH A CHILD HAPPENING.THERE IS LAUGHTER AND THE PULLING OF CRACKERS)

SOUND: WHOOSH

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 30.

SHEILASee, I told you! Its happy now! Theyre all alive!And look at that Christmas dinner!

GHOSTIt looks very good.

SHEILAHa ha!

SOUND: SHEILA BEGINS STUFFING HER MOUTH.

SHEILAIt tastes of victory. The stuffing tastes of neverhaving to see Brian again.

SOUND: SHE IS GULPING DOWN AS MUCH AS SHE CAN.

SHEILAThe plum pudding tastes of having them all to myself.The bread sauce-

SOUND: SHEILA CHOKES.

SOUND: WHOOSH

SCENE 24: INT. A BEDROOM. NIGHT.

(SILENCE)

SOUND: WHOOSH

SOUND: SHEILA IS STILL CHOKING

GHOSTIts a shame you didnt remember that it was just avision. Yes, those things all looked very good toeat, but what have you actually been eating?

SOUND: SHEILA IS GASPING FOR BREATH.

GHOSTOh, theyre your sleeping pills, and you were

stuffing them down so enthusiastically. I should callan ambulance. Except Im a ghost, and we dont havephones.

SOUND: SHEILA DIES.

SOUND: THE GHOST CACKLES AND LAUGHS OUT LOUD, UNTIL ITRATTLES THE WINDOWS.


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31.

SCENE 25: INT. A BEDROOM. MORNING

(BIRDS TWEET, IT IS A BRAND NEW MORNING. A BABYGURGLES HAPPILY)

SOUND: GARY SHUFFLES INTO THE BEDROOM.

SOUND: LAURA YAWNS AND STRETCHES.

LAURADid you sleep well?

GARYI used a garden hose as a pillow. No, I did not sleepwell.

LAURAWe did. Your daughter slept through for the very

first time!

GARYAnd she waited until I wasnt here to do it. Shehates me.

LAURAOh hush.

GARYMerry Christmas. Where is everyone? Is no one elseup? Ill go and put coffee on. I have to doabsolutely everything in this house. Its all right.

You two lie in bed, Ill go.

SOUND: GARY GETS UP TO GO.

LAURAIs Daddy being a grumpy old grumpus?

GARYJust find out what your mother and her girlfriend andher husband want for breakfast, all right?

SOUND: GARY STAMPS OUT.

LAURAAll right. Idiot. Sometimes, Boofles, I really wishit were just the two of us.

SOUND: THE WINDOWS RATTLE.

SOUND: GARY SHOUTS, AND WE HEAR HIM FALL DOWN THE STAIRS.

LAURAGary? Gary? Oh God, Gary!

SOUND: SHE RUNS OUT OF THE BEDROOM, AND DOWN THE STAIRS.

(CONTINUED)


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CONTINUED: 32.

LAURAGary? Gary? Say something, Gary. Gary! Gary! Please,Gary! Please dont leave me!

SOUND: THE BABY BEGINS CRYING.

SOUND: LAURA COMES BACK UP THE STAIRS AND BACK INTO THEBEDROOM. SHE IS BREATHING HEAVILY.

LAURAIts all right, Boofles, its all right. Dont cry,Mummy will look after you. Dont cry, Amelia, pleasedont cry...

SOUND: AMELIA CRIES.

SCENE 26: MELMOTHS CASTLE

(HOWLS, ETC)

MELMOTH DARKLEIGHSo there you have it...

In the Gloaming Episode 3 December 2009- The Night Whisperers

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Transcript of In the Gloaming Episode 3 December 2009- The Night Whisperers