I n t h e b e g i n n i n g : H o w t o w r i t e s h o r t s t o r y o p e n i n g l i n e s t h a t w i l l

h o o k r e a d e r s r i g h t f r o m t h e s t a r t

B Y O R E N S H A F I R

In this presentation: My three main ingredients for compelling opening lines, three examples

from literary masters and seven opening lines from my own flash fiction suspense blog

MY INGREDIENTS FOR YUMMY OPENING L INES

1.Specificity

2.Action

3.Tension

Plus, some fancy Latin literary terms for good measure

(you know you gotta have some fancy Latin literary terms)

I’ll explain what I mean for each ingredient, show you some

great examples from literature, then humbly present seven of

my own openings from my flash fiction suspense blog.

SPECIFICITY

Fancy latin literary term #1, Deixis (which I may or may not be using

correctly):

Deixis refers to words that cannot be fully understood without further

contextual information, for example, a personal pronoun (he, she, etc.)

when you don’t know to whom it refers. This may sound a bit vague, but

it will become clear when we get to the example shortly. Use deixis to:

Suck ‘em in

When you leave out that contextual information, it makes readers

curious and pulls them straight into your fictional world.

ACTION

Fancy Latin literary term #2, In medias res (pretty sure

I’m using this term correctly):

In media res means “in the midst of things.” In other words:

Get off to a flying start

You’re going to build a detailed background and world and

create a vivid setting some of which will appear in your story,

but for now, just leave it all in the back of your head, and --

Jump right into the fire.

TENSION

Fancy literary term #3 Calidis et tædere (definitely using this term

correctly cause I ran out of real Latin literary terms and had to make one

up):

Calidis et tædere means “hot n heavy” (according to Google translate,

anyway)

Introduce your conflict right away

The more tension, the more your audience will feel compelled to read on

in order to find out how it will be resolved. Now let’s look at examples of

these ingredients in the opening lines of three masterful writers.

SPECIFICITY EXAMPLE

“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía

was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover

ice.”

From One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Since we really don’t know where we are now in time, the words, “Many years later.,”

lack context but peak our interest and force us into the story. Of course we wonder

what discovering ice is all about, too. I remember reading this as a teenager and being

totally hooked, thinking, “What? You can start a book like that?”

Now let’s look at an example of the “in medias res” technique from a different genre: a

teleplay.

ACTION EXAMPLE

“EXT. COW PASTURE DAY…

ZOOOM! WHEELS plow right through the shit with a SPLAT.

NEW ANGLE - AN RV is speeding smack-dab through the pasture, no road in sight…”

From Breaking Bad pilot by Vince Gilligan

Okay, I’m cheating a little bit here because it’s not a story opening line per se, but it does

exemplify the “in media res” technique. Boy did this series ever start with a bang . We were

thrust right in the middle of a crazy police chase and were hooked from the start. What’s more,

in this case, amazingly, Vince Gilligan and company kept the action enthralling for five seasons.

This was of course, due to a variety of great ingredients.

But the opening action helped get us there. Now let’s look at my third opening-line ingredient,

tension, using another literary work, which blew the mind of (among others) the author of our

first example, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, to illustrate.

TENSION EXAMPLE

 “As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found

himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect..”

From The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

Say what? A giant insect? How are you going to write your way out of this one,

Franz? (one wonders upon reading the novella for the first time.)

That opening made a lot of people want to find out what the heck happens next, and

it’s a miracle of literature that the story lived up to its opening.

Anyway, that was our third ingredient. Now, at the risk of underwhelming you by

following up the greats with the much less great, here’s some examples from my

own flash fiction suspense blog.

7 FLASH FICTION OPENING LINES

1.A Drop to Drink: “ For the first time, Jason thought that they might just actually

die out there”…MORE

2.Love Letter: “ Dear Celia, If you’re reading this now, then I am dead” …MORE

3.Setting Momma Free: “Momma was bleeding from her head around the left

eyebrow.”… MORE

4.The Golem:  “Heinrich only kept him alive because he amused the men” …MORE

5.The Geek: “They knew I didn’t do it because I was in Phoenix with my Dad that week

and didn’t get back till the day after vacation ended” …MORE

6.Nickie: “`We have to eat the dog,’ said Hans” …MORE

7.All for One: “What kind of person would beat a man to death with his bare hands?”

…MORE

Thanks, Oren ShafirPlease visit my blog:Suspense and horror flash fiction blogAmazon short story collection

Email me if you have feedbackOr add me to your Google+ circles

That was my two-cent’s worth, and I hope you found it useful and interesting.