SHARING HOPE, PROVIDING HELP, TRANSFORMING LIVES. SPRING 2015 | VOL. 30 | NO. 1

T R A N S F O R M I N G

Families

T R A N S F O R M I N G L I V E S O N E C H I L D A T A T I M E

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The IMPACT Spring 2015, Vol. 30, No. 1

The IMPACT I Editors: N. LAMPEN, A. LISIAK, G. RATERINK I Assistant Editor: DAVE BLAKESLEE I Graphic Design: JAMES FALK I ©2015 Wedgwood Christian Services

Stay Connected with Wedgwood For more information: (616) 942-2110

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Follow us @wedgwoodcs #transforminglives

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Sign up for email updates at http://bit.ly/wedgwoodemail

Board of Directors Rich Antonini IILuis AvilaJudy BarnesJim BoelkinsEllen BruinsmaLori CookTripp CorlJ Lindsey DoodJennifer GreenopDavid IsraelsJohn KuiperMichelle Smith-LoweBobbie MedemaKyle RayGreg SchierbeekScott Smith

Foundation BoardJessica BaldwinSharon DykhouseAndrea KarstenJerry NiewiekBrian HughesEd StuursmaKate TeichmanLynwood Vanden BoschJeff Vander WeeleJane Zwiers

NextGen BoardKen BaumanStefani BoutelierBrad BruinsmaAnnie ButhSean CaseyGuillermo CisnerosStephen DisselkoenJohn DykstraJenn GroendykeAJ HillsBrad LaackmanMatthew McGowanMichael McGrawLiz MoradiStacy RoskamJake SchrockRochelle RoskamCarrie SouleJordan TanisJosh TanisPeter TeWinkleMatt UhlJosh Wall

Advisory CouncilDick AntoniniDennis BergakkerHenry BoumaBob BredewegBen BrinksJoel RahnThomas H. ClausDuke Suwyn

Ed De VriesFrank DoezemaGord ElgersmaDavid HoogendoornPat GillJason GrantJames HavemanBob HavemanNancy HavemanAnnie HawksBob IsraelsMark JansenPhil KoningDoug KoolGreg LambertDr. Marvin L. SappMick McGrawJohn F De VriesDoug NagelJim EngenTom NobelWally OlssonMichael GarrettDave NykampRobert SackStan StekTom StuitBill SwetsSally SwetsCarol Van AndelMark WindemullerRick Zweering

03 Miraculous Changes By Randy Zylstra, President/CEO

04 “I Can’t Imagine a More Worthy Cause” By Vivian TerMaat, Senior Advancement Officer

06 Be Rich Toward God By Gary Raterink, Planned Giving Officer

07 Lunch Buddies By Vivian TerMaat, Senior Advancement Officer

08 Filling in for Family By Andre Benjamin, Riebel Assistant Supervisor

09 Building Self Confidence By Jackie Brewster, Employment Training Program Manager

09 Stop This Traffic By Nikeidra DeBarge, Manasseh Project Program Coordinator

10 Living Out Family By Brenton Dalgliesh, Human Resources Specialist

11 Journey Through Grief By Kris Walhof, Pastor

12 Making Summer Memories By Jahan Webb, Recreation Therapy Supervisor

13 Learning a New Dance By Erin Rowlson, Clinical Supervisor

14 New Intensive Aftercare Program By Anthony Muller, Director of Clinical and Business Development

15 Santa Surprises at Hope Academy By Kacie Westmaas, IES Executive Administrative Assistant

30TH ANNUAL

CHARITY GOLF OUTING

JUNE 1

55TH ANNIVERSARY

CELEBRATION DINNER OCTOBER 15

55 Years ofSave these dates

Visit www.wedgwood.org for more information

The IMPACT 3

This May, 2015 issue of The Impact, situated neatly between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, is dedicated to the theme of family. If you grew up like I did, your concept of family would include many of the

following elements: a place of safety, a place of learning, a place where food and shelter were expected, where fairness and predictability were assumed, a place of trust, a place to give and receive.

Some of our clients at Wedgwood come from wonderful, loving families but a large number do not, nor did their parents. They have no concept of family values or positive role modeling. Consider these words of a 15 year-old boy in residential care:

“They tell me that I look just like my father. Thanks a lot! You mean the one I have not heard from in years, the one in and out of prison, the one who killed my dog, who locked me in the basement all day, who beat my mother. The one whose identity I cannot shake, whose image I hate to see in the mirror because it makes me wonder if I will turn out that way?”

“You ask me what my dad taught me. He taught me never to cry. He told me never to hit a girl (the way he hit my mom). He taught me to fight, and that revenge was how you won respect. He taught me I should never trust, never apologize, never admit being wrong. Take what you can get because life is not fair. He did not really teach me with words very often, but he taught me just the same.”

Did you know that many of our residents do not go home for holidays because they have no one to call family? Did you know that some of them have disrupted multiple foster home placements, adoptive placements, and even residential placements because they feel so disconnected and hopeless

Miraculous Changes BY RANDY ZYLSTRA, PRESIDENT/CEO

RZYLSTRA@WEDGWOOD.ORG

and self-destructive? We try hard to rebuild family relationships wherever even a fraction of a family exists, but there are times when nothing exists to build on.

The techniques for recalibrating traumatized, neglected, and abused children are NOT the same as those our parents used successfully on most of us. It takes a far more sophisticated approach and we have a narrow window of opportunity. Our staff had to learn how to redefine the meaning of family for many of our residents. We have learned how to create safety, security, predictability and trust. We learned how to build hope before expecting motivation, honesty, and “good” behavior. We

have had to learn tremendous patience as that hope and trust are repeatedly tested. We have had to learn how to reinterpret anger as something deeper, something that may be the best response a traumatized and hopeless child can produce. We have had to learn how NOT to accept failure as failure.

We are extremely proud of our staff! This is very difficult work, and they participate in multiple years of training in order to meet the highest standards of therapeutic excellence. But there is one secret tool that is deeply entrenched within Wedgwood culture. It is far more effective than any other. Miraculous changes occur when a child comes to realize that they have unique and unlimited value

in the eyes of their Creator. Our staff grasp that, and seek to become a redefined family for those who have none. They know that change does not come from an intellectual discussion on ethics or behavior or the meaning of life. Nor does it come from threats or lectures. That realization must be experienced, repeatedly, through patience, compassion, forgiveness. It is not intellectualized so much as observed and absorbed. We do our best to verbalize the truths of God, but talk is cheap to someone who cannot trust. St. Francis of Assisi said it well: “Preach the gospel at every opportunity… If necessary, use words.” n

Preach the

gospel at every

opportunity…

If necessary,

use words.

– St. Francis of Assisi

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ADVANCEMENT DEPARTMENT

“I can’t imagine a more worthy cause!” An interview with Mike & Jennifer McGraw

How did you discover Wedgwood?We discovered Wedgwood through my father, Mick McGraw, who served on the Wedgwood Board of Directors.

What is it about Wedgwood that keeps you coming back?I believe fully in the mission. I love the kids that I’ve met and I believe they deserve as much help as we can provide to them. They’re “just kids” and the more time I spend with them, the more I see how much they’re like my own kids. They need to know that there is love for them and that they can do great things! Bottom line is that our family supports Wedgwood because we love the kids.

How do you as a family support Wedgwood? We’re involved in many ways: I serve on the NextGen Board. We attend lunches with the children, and donate goods or presents around birthdays or holidays. We support Wedgwood financially, and we open up our family ranch (Cross Canyon Ranch in Avon, MT) to a group of kids from Wedgwood each summer.

What’s your favorite Wedgwood moment?There are two. First, one of the boys really opened up to Jen and I during a lunch with boys from the Boelkins Home. He shared that his mother

had passed away and got out his photo album to show us pictures of his mom and family. It was so sweet, how open and comfortable he was with us. You could tell that he had unconditional love for his Mom; that was awesome and sad at the same time. He is a loving boy and just wants to be loved, not unlike any other kid.

The second favorite moment: Jen and I loved seeing the joy on the boys faces when they opened their new Lego sets at Christmas. To most kids, a simple Lego set isn’t a big deal. For these boys, having their OWN Lego set was exciting and special. It reminds you just how blessed you are, and how easily you can become a blessing to others.

What has become clear to you through this partnership?The kids Wedgwood serves are good kids at heart. I think many people have a perspective that these kids are “different” in some way from their own kids. In reality, they are not. The kids’ behavioral shortcomings, I believe, are the result of their environments. It has become crystal clear to us that these kids just need positive role models and figures of authority in their lives. The Wedgwood staff is incredibly capable at filling this role, and I also think volunteer involvement with these kids, on a consistent basis, can have a positive impact as they begin

The IMPACT 5

to realize they are loved and capable of great things. It is clear that instilling confidence and self-worth in these kids is one of the key functions of Wedgwood.

What do you say to prospective Wedgwood donors and volunteers?These young people have had their lives turned upside down. Wedgwood gives individuals and families a way to show them that they have value, that their lives matter. We do that for our own children, but these children don’t have those same influences from families, so having the ability and desire to share some of that love, to remind them of their value...that is priceless. It doesn’t take much to make a big change in their lives: just show up, be consistent, and care. That is what makes Wedgwood such an important institution in our community. They’re an extension of the unconditional love of Christ.

What does family mean to you?Family is everything. Family shapes who you are and how you will impact society. Family doesn’t always have to be based on blood ties; it is a group of people who care, who see your value and help you reach your potential. They sing your praises, build you up and proudly recognize your biggest successes. Family supports you during your failures, shortcomings, and struggles. Family is the group of people who loves you unconditionally and is there for you when you need them and even when you don’t quite recognize that you need them.

How has Wedgwood transformed your family?I think it is a great reminder of our need to continue to help others, to reach out to those less fortunate, especially children. It reminds us to teach our own children to appreciate what they have and be generous in sharing those gifts, thereby showing our children that it can be just as rewarding to give as to get (and maybe more so). It’s a great way to show our children that everyone has value, but some need to be shown their value due to the circumstances they have been born into. We can be the ones to help these kids realize that they are amazing, and full of potential!

How do you describe Wedgwood to others?I describe Wedgwood as a very well-run organization full of great people who seek to serve kids (and adults) by showing them the unconditional love of Jesus Christ. I always tell people that these kids are good kids! It has become obvious to me, through my involvement, that they just need some positive role models and to know that they are loved. I can’t imagine a more worthy cause!

How has this experience impacted your faith?I would say that it has been very positive. I am inspired by the way I have seen the great people at Wedgwood serve the kids. The love, guidance, patience and care that they show for each child is clearly a demonstration of God’s love at work.

How many and how old are your kids? Jen and I are the parents of three boys; Noah age 9, Brenden age 7, and Kai age 4

ADVANCEMENT DEPARTMENT

BY VIVIAN TERMAAT SENIOR ADVANCEMENT OFFICERVTERMAAT@WEDGWOOD.ORG

I am inspired by the way I

have seen the great people

at Wedgwood serve the

kids. The love, guidance,

patience and care that

they show for each child is

clearly a demonstration of

God’s love at work.

Thanks so much to Mike, Jen and their three boys for their faithful support of Wedgwood Christian Services. Thanks also to the McGraw Family for making the time to get to know some of the kids who live here at Wedgwood. Their time together is establishing the groundwork for healthy and positive relationships in the lives of these kids who may one day have families of their own. It is a priceless investment in the future of a young life.

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PLANNED GIVING

As we read of new and expanded life expectancies due to medical advances and increased attention to personal wellness, the importance of planning for the needs of our

families becomes clear. Life expectancy for males is 76 years. Females can expect to reach the age of 81 and these ages are increasing for both genders as we go forward.

What do you value most? How would you answer this question? Your answer would most likely include your loved ones as one of your most valuable assets. Preparing the next generation to follow in your footsteps creates a legacy. One important dimension of that preparation is drafting a will or trust that is current and transfers your estate to your family in an efficient manner.

Just as important is that your legacy includes the values that the Lord has instilled in you over a lifetime. Pastor John Ortberg said it this way: “The biggest lesson life has to teach us is the absolute necessity of arranging our life around what matters in light of our mortality and eternity. The object of life, according to Jesus, is to be rich toward God.”

I have always admired the Barnabas Foundation brochure entitled “A Child Named Charity.” The emphasis is to include your favorite Christian charities as part of one’s family. For example, if you have three children to receive the assets from your estate, adding a fourth child named “charity” can be a wonderful legacy and a generous blessing to one or more ministries. The brochure lists two general reasons people have given for doing this: “A belief that all we have is a gift from

God, a gift which we in thankfulness should return, at least in part.” Second,“ a powerful final testimony and reminder to children and grandchildren not to forget to follow in the example we have set for Christian stewardship.”

As members of the Barnabas Foundation, we highly recommend use of their estate planning services. Their services are free to you and confidential. Their Grand Rapids office is located at 600 3 Mile Road, NW; telephone (616) 956-1232. Staffed with the expertise of two attorneys, they can assist you to prepare a plan uniquely for your family.

Charitable Gift Annuities are another way to honor your family. A gift annuity is a contract between you and Wedgwood which exchanges a gift to Wedgwood for an annuity providing guaranteed lifelong income. n

If you would like to learn more about benefitting Wedgwood Christian Services through a gift from your will or trust or through a charitable gift annuity, please call Gary Raterink at (616) 831-5623 or email graterink@wedgwood.org.

Be Rich Toward God

BY GARY RATERINK, CPAPLANNED GIVING OFFICERGRATERINK@WEDGWOOD.ORG

Home is the bottom line of life, the anvil upon which attitudes and convictions are hammered out – the single most influential force in our earthly existence. No price tag can adequately reflect its value.

—Charles R. Swindoll

The IMPACT 7

On Thursday October 15th, 2015 at 7:00 p.m., at the Amway Grand Plaza

Hotel, Darryl Strawberry, a four-time Major League Baseball World Series Champion, National League Rookie of the Year and 8-time All Star, will be sharing his powerful story of transformation as the keynote speaker at Wedgwood Christian Services 55th Anniversary Celebration Dinner. For years, Darryl’s life was surrounded by controversy, both on and off the baseball field, but these days he’s a changed man. “God was calling me and I was either going to answer his call or I was going to die,” said Mr. Strawberry.

Please plan to attend and hear how one man went from a remarkable athlete to the remarkable man who founded the Darryl Strawberry Foundation, which is dedicated to children and adults with autism and the Darryl Strawberry Recovery Center that offers a Christian recovery program led by Christ-centered therapists and staff who provide inspirational Biblical counseling. This year’s Annual Dinner promises to be a memorable and uplifting event.

TRANSFORMING SERVICES

The NextGen members are young professionals who have a heart for the Wedgwood Mission of Extending God’s love to youth and families through professional

counseling and educational services. They make time in their busy schedules, not just for board meetings but also to spend time directly with the kids for a family-style meal, once a month. Residents of the Boelkins Home are 7-12 year old boys, most of whom have been removed from their respective homes due to severe abuse and neglect. Typically, a nine year old child arriving at Boelkins has already been through ten foster homes.

BY VIVIAN TERMAAT SENIOR ADVANCEMENT OFFICERVTERMAAT@WEDGWOOD.ORG

Lunch BuddiesBY VIVIAN TERMAAT

In September 2014, members of the NextGen@Wedgwood Board began monthly visits to the Boelkins Home for a family style meal.

Over the past 15 years researchers have confirmed the importance of sharing a family meal. It is good for the spirit, the brain and the health of all involved. Recent studies link regular family dinners with: lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy and depression, as well as higher grade-point averages and self-esteem. Studies also indicate that dinner conversation is a more potent vocabulary-booster than reading, and the stories told around the table help our children build resilience. Regular family meals also lower the rates of obesity and eating disorders in children and adolescents.*

The Lunch Buddies Program provides the kids with an opportunity to experience a positive and healthy family-style mealtime while meeting and getting to know solid role models. Over fish sticks and burgers, relationships are being established that can begin the road to rebuilding trust for these boys while at the same time deepening the hearts of our NextGen members. n

*Data source: TheFamilyDinnerProject.org

Darryl Strawberry

55th Anniversary Dinner Speaker

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RESIDENTIAL

Family can be defined in a number of ways: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household, a group that is grounded by the same

roots and shared values, people that are continuously present in our lives who offer us safety and security.

Many of the children that come through Wedgwood have suffered from trauma due to abuse and neglect. More often than not, the hurt that these kids carry around was inflicted by the ones they refer to as their family. To them, the word “family” takes on a whole different meaning. The trauma

they experienced creates difficulty in building trust, trouble with maintaining relationships, and often severe reactive behaviors.

The Wedgwood staff play a vital role in helping children work through their trauma, and supporting appropriate

development. When a new kid comes into a residential placement facility, they often look at staff as authoritarian figures, people who are only there to boss them around and make their lives even more miserable. It is up to us to erase that perspective and replace it with one that allows the child to feel safe, cared for, and loved.

Our staff work hard to be consistent and positive role models for the children of Wedgwood. As a parent, our ultimate role is to help our kids discover who they truly are and help them to find peace in their place in the world. As a residential treatment provider, we do that by offering grace and understanding, allowing kids to heal emotionally and instilling hope for what their future holds. In that sense, we create that sense of family in our homes, “family” as the people in their lives who offer support and make them feel important: the people who always treat each other with dignity and respect and love. n

ANDRE BENJAMINRIEBEL ASSISTANT SUPERVISORABENJAMIN@WEDGWOOD.ORG

We warmly invite you to join us as our special guest for breakfast or lunch and a brief tour of Wedgwood’s campus so that you can see first-hand how the services you help make possible, transform lives, one child at a time. These visits are held on Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays at

Wedgwood Christian Services, 3300 36th Street SE, Grand Rapids, from May through October, weather permitting. If you would like to reserve a spot for yourself or for a group from your organization, please contact Alison at advancement@wedgwood.org or (616) 942-2392.

FILLING IN FOR FAMILY BY ANDRE BENJAMIN

TO U R S AT W E D GW O O D

And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

— Matthew 18:5

As a parent, our

ultimate role is to help

our kids discover who

they truly are and help

them to find peace

in their place in the

world.

The IMPACT 9

COMMUNITY

Building Self-Confidence

JACKIE BREWSTERPROGRAM MANAGEREMPLOYMENT TRAINING SUPERVISORJBREWSTER@WEDGWOOD.ORG

One of Wedgwood’s essential transforming services is the Employment Training Program (ETP). We are happy to report that the construction we began in early

August on the ETP building was completed in the fall of 2014. Additional space was built to help support the program’s growth. Each year, the ETP program continues its success

with serving at-risk youth from residential and community settings by providing job training and first job experiences. With the growing lawn care requests, car

detailing requests, and wood shop orders, the program serves more clients and better prepares them for future employment opportunities. The program not only gives these kids work experience, but also a reference and a self-confidence that they never had before. With this, they acquire knowledge on how to continue on the right path, which ultimately will help build stronger families in the future.

We partner with the staff, clinicians, teachers, and case workers to provide a holistic care plan for our residents and community kids. ETP’s role is to provide a realistic job experience so the kids are better prepared to re-enter society. Programs like this are rare among similar residential facilities in our state, yet Wedgwood has been blessed to offer these services to clients and community at-risk students. Job skills play a vital role in their respective success beyond their Wedgwood experience. ETP is able to provide these skills to an average of 80-100 clients a year, with a regular working roster of 25-36 kids year round.

Our employees learn to fill out applications, proper etiquette for job interviews, and acquire work ethic and skills in various fields (lawn care, upholstery, vehicle detailing, and woodshop.)

For information about our services, please call (616) 831-5575.

MANASSEH PROJECT

Stop This TrafficBY NIKEIDRA DEBARGE

Learn more at www.manassehproject.org #StopThisTraffic

ENDING SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF CHILDREN

Wedgwood’s Manasseh Project continues to raise awareness and advocacy levels since its inception three years ago. The Manasseh Project’s mission

is: Ending the sexual exploitation of young women and men in Michigan. Through community education and collaboration and Wedgwood’s Manasseh Project Trauma Recovery Center this ministry provides support and specialized residential treatment services for victims of sex trafficking and empowers the people of west Michigan to end modern day slavery.

R I S K F A C T O R S • Poverty — Poor communities are targeted by traffickers

who offer kids cash, clothing and jewelry in an attempt to sell their lies

• Homelessness – 1 in 3 runaway/throwaway kids will be approached by a trafficker within 48 hours of being homeless

• Substance Abuse – Victims are controlled by traffickers through drugs and alcohol

A C T I O N S T E P S • Learn – Ask a WMP expert to

speak to your group/organization• Mentor – Contact WMP to see

if you would be a good fit for mentorship

• Advocate – Contact your local legislator to encourage support of bills that increase penalties for traffickers and perpetrators

• Donate – Your gift to Wedgwood’s Manasseh Project is a step towards ending modern day slavery

NIKEIDRA DEBARGE MANASSEH PROJECT PROGRAM COORDINATORNDEBARGE@WEDGWOOD.ORG

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VOLUNTEER

To many of these kids, our volunteers end up living out “family” with them through committing to them as either a mentor or tutor.

It is often in these relationships that one of our youths-in-residence has a firsthand encounter with the idea that she or he has value — that someone would willingly spend time with them without any expectation of being repaid. Is this not exactly the life and death that Jesus modeled?

Wedgwood is blessed to have one of the most vibrant and diverse volunteer groups of any organization, and our volunteers consistently demonstrate compassion, commitment and grace when they serve for an hour every week. You’ve

undoubtedly heard the stories of some of these kids, but you haven’t heard their story until you can enter into it.

My prayer is that after reading this, you would give some serious consideration to volunteering here. It’s not always easy, but I would have you count the cost before promising to do this anyway. Please, contact our Human Resources Department with any inquiries. n

Living out “family”BY BRENTON DALGLIESH

BY BRENTON DALGLIESH HUMAN RESOURCE SPECIALIST

MENTOR• Mentor a child, age 8-17, living in a

residential treatment home• Requires listening skills and positive

leadership• Minimum of 1-2 hours/week interaction• Length of service commitment of

6-9 months

CLERICAL ASSISTANCE• Provide support to a variety of

departments (i.e. filing, copying, collating, etc.)

• Regular assistance needed for 2-3 hours per week or

• project assistance during peak periods

ACTIVITY ASSISTANCE• Teach a personal skill to clients (i.e. arts

and crafts, music, etc.)• Length of service commitment depends

on area of interest

TRANSPORTER• Be available on an on-call or regular

basis to transport clients to and/or from school, to their home and also to medical appointments

CHAPLAIN’S ASSISTANT• Work under the direction of the

Chaplaincy Department to lead 1 to 1 or small group bible studies

• Participate in on-campus worship services• Spend a minimum of 1-2 hours per

week on a bi-weekly basis• Opportunities available to serve in

GEMS or Cadets programs

FACILITIES ASSISTANT• Perform general maintenance duties

as needed in and around the facilities (i.e. indoor and outdoor painting, auto maintenance, furniture repair, landscape work, etc.)

• Assist in transporting vehicles for routine maintenance appointments

TUTOR• Assist clients in completing homework

assignments• Work with clients in a small group or

on an individual basis as needed• Meet with clients one time per week

for a minimum of 1 hour

CHURCH FAMILY• Adopt a specific home and take clients from

that home to church services or activities• A minimum of two times per month• Suggested length of commitment of

6-9 months

MANASSEH HOME• Mentor or help facilitate activities in

the Manasseh home• Specific trauma focused trainings

required• Minimum of 1-2 hours a week

interaction• Length of service commitment of

6-9 months

YOUTH ENHANCEMENT PROGRAM• Assist clients in a group setting using

skill-based teaching to reach at risk youth in home based care

• Service commitment of 1 semester from 3:00 - 7:00 p.m. or 4:00 - 6:30 p.m. one night a week

GROUP MENTORING• Small group of individuals assist in

program activities and groups for residential clients

• Collaboration with residential staff members

• Commitment depends on group development

YOUNG LIFE VOLUNTEERS• Assist Young Life Leaders in organizing

activities for clients• Facilitates active participation during

activities• Service commitment of 6-9 months

I’ve had many opportunities to witness firsthand the indelible role that volunteers play in the lives of the many kids we serve who don’t have invested families.

VOLUNTEERING AT WEDGWOOD

A P P L I C AT I O N I N F O R M AT I O N

All volunteers must be at least 18 years of age and meet Wedgwood’s screening requirements. To apply, please visit www.wedgwood.org and fill out our online application. For questions, contact: Marla Cole, mcole@wedgwood.org or call (616) 831-5584 Wedgwood is located at 3300 36th St. SE, Grand Rapids, MI 49512

The IMPACT 11

CHAPLAINCY

As a chaplain, I have been amazed at the incredible resilience of children. Their emotional, psychological and spiritual restorative powers allow them to “roll with

the [devastating] punches” of life. If they mourn well, they can grow into persons of greater depth. As Khalil Gibran writes in his poetic meditation, “On Joy and Sorrow,” “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.... [I]s not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?”

If the child does not mourn well, their healing will be dysfunctional. If a broken bone is not set, but heals in its own way, the limb will become pained or paralyzed. Resetting the bone requires a willingness to endure terrible pain all over again.

No one is strong enough to make this journey alone. Compassionate and wise companions are needed. At its best, this is what Wedgwood is all about. We are an awkward surrogate family of people who care enough to journey with kids through their darkness and to do so with an experienced and kind hand, mind and heart.

Yet love and wisdom are not enough. The world is a dark, broken and cruel place and it is too much for us. But there is One who once said, “Take heart, I have overcome the world”

(John 16.33). For one of our meetings, I had printed out the verse from Revelation 21.4 which says that some day Jesus “will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” God never wanted brokenness and death in the world, and somehow, someday, through the power of Christ’s resurrection, the whole world would be made right.

Upon arriving at the chapel, one of the young men handed me a picture of two angelic figures (representing the boy’s mother and grandmother who had passed away) before the throne of Jesus in heaven, and beneath the picture, a staff person had helped him write this very same verse, Revelation 21.4.

Alongside our compassionate wisdom, we must take our cues from Christ’s Spirit. We journey through a beautiful, broken world as broken, beautiful people, but we do so together and with Christ, the Healer who draws us forward to a renewed world where the only tears will be those of deepest joy. n

Journey Through GriefBY: KRIS WALHOF

KRISTOPHER WALHOFPASTOR KWALHOF@WEDGWOOD.ORG

A few weeks ago, I began a “grief group” for three boys whose mothers had recently passed away. One of the boys brought a piece of artwork which touched my heart.

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TRANSFORMING SERVICES

MAKING SUMMER MEMORIESBY JAHAN WEBB

The sun is shining, the temperature is rising and the days are getting longer. The nicer weather is a sure sign that summer will be here shortly.

The Recreation Therapy Department at Wedgwood Christian Services is gearing up to prepare staff and kids for our summer

programming. We participate in many different summertime activities but one of the biggest things that we do is take clients camping in rustic campgrounds throughout the state of Michigan and beyond. We’ve been camping everywhere from East Jordan and Ludington to Sandusky, Ohio.

For the majority of our clients, who range in age from 7-18, this is their first opportunity to participate in such an outdoor adventure. We fish, team build, hike and prepare meals over the fire. Each of these activities is a new experience that provides an opportunity to learn and grow and perhaps discover a hidden talent. Camping creates an environment where we can build lasting memories and deeper relationships with the kids that we serve. As a group we have to trust each other and learn to function without the comforts of home. Clients learn to overcome fears and become more open in a safe, less structured environment. We start with the goal of expanding our client’s worldview and exposing them to new challenges that help them grow. Camping provides that experience and so much more and is a favorite trip according to our kids.

At the end of a long day on our camping trip we prepare a fire and engage in an informal group called, “How is Your Day Going?” Each child is given the chance to share insights about their day, discuss new things that they have experienced

and learn from one another. This often leads to deeper conversations about life and God that we all have at some point in our lives. These kids have big questions at a much earlier age than most of us due to their difficult circumstances. It takes courage to articulate these questions and great compassion to try to answer them. The starry night sky provides the serene backdrop that allows these kids to be vulnerable enough to open their hearts to the staff who feel called to work in Wellness at Wedgwood Christian Services. A beautiful constellation created by God’s grace. n

JAHAN WEBBRECREATION THERAPY COORDINATORJWEBB@WEDGWOOD.ORG

The IMPACT 13

COMMUNITY

Family dynamics, or family interactions, are the foundational “dance pattern” of every family. These dance steps are created within the structure of the roles

and rules a family has in place. Family dynamics play out across generations, across situations and are ever present.

Individuals interact with others within their family a certain way; they develop patterns of interaction that settle into routines over time. This is often the problem we face when bringing families into counseling: mindsets like “we always argue” or “they’ll never change.” No matter what the topic is, the argument remains the same because the pattern of interaction, or dance steps, hasn’t changed. True change does not occur on the surface level of words people say to one another, but at the deeper processing level of changing this pattern of interaction.

These dance steps have been used and practiced throughout the family usually for years, often for generations. The steps are created by the roles individuals take on within their family. Individuals may be the “peacekeeper,” the “troublemaker,” the “leader,” or the “enforcer.” Each role has a specific function for the family to survive, both together and with the outside world. These roles become predictable and even comforting because this is what is considered normal within the family.

Along with roles, the dance steps are created and reinforced by the rules a family creates over time as well. Rules that are not just spoken, such as bedtime or curfew, but the unspoken rules, such as who is in charge, how do we interact with non-family and how or why we do things as a family. These roles and rules create the structure and framework of the dance pattern created over time.

In counseling, families can identify their dance steps and then begin to pick apart small areas to make changes that can have a huge effect on their relationships. Individuals who have danced a certain way with one another now have to learn new steps to a new dance. They can discuss the roles and rules that created these patterns and whether they are healthy to continue or not. As stated earlier, for true change to occur within family dynamics, individuals have to be willing to learn new steps to new dances; often awkward at first but with practice, dedication and determination, families can create beautiful and healthy new patterns together. n

Learning a New Dance

BY ERIN ROWLSON

What type of dance do you and your family do? Who dances with whom, and why?

ERIN ROWLSONCLINICAL SUPERVISOR IN COMMUNITY PROGRAMSEROWLSON@WEDGWOOD.ORG

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING SERVICES OR TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, CONTACT OUR BOUMA COUNSELING CENTER TODAY AT (616) 942-7294.

14 wedgwood.org

COMMUNITY

Parenting is full of many peaks and valleys but when a child suffers intense emotional and personal pain to the extent of requiring placement in a psychiatric

hospital, it can be one of the most difficult trials a parent will ever experience. It can also be a traumatic period for the entire family involving many new challenges. Providing emotional and spiritual support for the individual child is crucial for the long-term emotional well-being of both the child and the family. In this context, Wedgwood Christian Services has partnered with Priority Health to provide an Intensive Aftercare Program. This program is designed to provide vital support to child and family once that child returns home as this is typically a difficult transition for everyone.

Over the last eight months, Wedgwood Christian Services has worked with over 60 families to support,

New Intensive Aftercare ProgramBY ANTHONY MULLER

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING SERVICES OR TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT, CONTACT OUR BOUMA COUNSELING CENTER TODAY AT (616) 942-7294.

ANTHONY MULLERDIRECTOR OF CLINICAL AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT AMULLER@WEDGWOOD.ORG

encourage and stabilize children and their families after an emotional emergency. Over 55 of these children have been stabilized at home and have not needed to return to the hospital which is a great blessing to families who are eager to move forward in this transitional phase of treatment. Elements of treatment that are utilized are: Intensive Individual and Family Counseling, Psychiatric Evaluations and Medication Reviews, Case Management and Referrals as needed.

Parents give rave reviews for this service. One parent states, “We tried everything, but nothing had worked until this program.” Another parent told us, “My child never talked to the therapist we brought him to until we started working with Wedgwood Christian Services.” Once the child begins to whole-heartedly engage in their own treatment, the whole family often times begins to experience a sense of peace that comes with moving forward with the process.

Priority Health agrees that this new Intensive Aftercare Program has been highly successful, and is currently developing plans with Wedgwood Christian Services to expand this service beyond Kent County to include Ottawa and Muskegon Counties as well. “Giving our members support services is fundamental to improving our goal of improving the health and lives of our members,” said Angela Smith-Hietikko, director of behavioral health for Priority Health. “The Intensive Aftercare Program offered by Wedgewood Christian Services gives families the support and encouragement necessary to return to a stable home environment.” n

ESTIMATES OF U.S. CHILDREN WITH MENTAL DISORDERS

2.2 million

Behavioral or conduct problems

1.8 million

Anxiety4.2 million

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder

1.3 million

1.2 million 1.0 millionDepression

Illicit drug use disorder

Alcohol use disorder

678,000

99,000

691,000

Cigarette Dependence

Autism Spectrum Disorder

Tourette Syndrome

The IMPACT 15

EDUCATION

We decided that gift cards just wouldn’t do. These gifts needed to be personalized and special for each student, and a surprise! So we put the

teachers to work developing a strategy for their classroom to get a Christmas wish list from each child without them knowing what was going on. Most teachers gave the students an assignment such as “What can you buy for $20?” or “What would you ask Santa to bring for Christmas?” and other similar questions. The students responded, the lists were compiled into a master list and the shopping began!

Black Friday was a busy day for our Hope Academy of West Michigan Elf, as well as the next few weeks. The lists were cross-checked, double-checked and re-checked to insure that each student received something from their individual wish list. As the shopping continued, volunteer elves flooded in to help wrap and tag each gift. Then the big day arrived. With help from Lacks Enterprises employees, Santa, Mrs. Claus and Santa’s Elves arrived with smiles on their faces and a glimmer in their eyes on the morning of December 18. Santa’s group started off the morning by visiting each of the elementary classrooms, Pre-School through 4th grade, calling each child’s name to come up and receive their Christmas gift. The students could hardly contain themselves, they were so overjoyed that Santa had remembered them this year.

Adding to all the excitement was the presence of local media personality Maranda. She was on hand in one of the classrooms to capture the spirit of giving on her “Maranda: Where You Live” program, so her viewers could sit in on the fun.

As the day progressed into the afternoon, the Middle School students were assembled in the gym and each student was called up by name to greet Santa and receive their Christmas gift. They were followed by the High School students. The students were amazed that anyone would go to such extreme measures to insure that this holiday season was a special one for them. The message the staff conveyed to each and every student was, “You’re worth it.” n

The holidays can be a stressful time in everyone’s life. This is especially true for those families who struggle to make ends meet throughout the year. We at Hope Academy of West Michigan felt extremely blessed to learn that employees of Lacks Enterprises wanted to donate enough money to insure that all of our 350 students received something special for Christmas.

KACIE WESTMAAS IES EXECUTIVE ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT KWESTMAAS@INTEGRITYEDSERVICES.ORG

Santa Surprises at Hope AcademyBY KACIE WESTMAAS

3300 36th Street SE Grand Rapids, MI 49512-2810

NON-PROFIT ORG.

US POSTAGE

P A I DGRAND RAPIDS, MI

PERMIT NO. 564

GIFTS IN MEMORY

Cyndi BloemGeorge and Jeanne Bloem

R. Charles BoelkinsDave and Margaret BoelkinsJim and Barb Boelkins

Grace BowmanPaula Siegele

Terry ChamberlainRobert BowmanRay Chamberlain

Bud and Ella DeckerKendal and Jane Lovell

Lucille DoornJim and Marian De VriesSusan MillerBill and Pat Waanders

Joan DykhouseMr. and Mrs. Rodney AlderinkRobert and Linda BeukemaHenry and Louise BoersmaGary and Kathryn Bronsink Daryl and Ruth DykhouseNettie Dykhouse Mr. and Mrs. Larry KerstetterMr. and Mrs. Randy KnollBernice MohrHarold and Bonnie Nagelkirk Dennis and Janice OevermanBill and Sara RyskampBruce and Jerri RyskampDoug and Ruth RyskampJim and Laurie SchepersMr. and Mrs. Christian SiebersMark and Becky WaalkesMark and Linda Witte

Richard FullerMr. and Mrs. Jerry Owens

Gary GarehanJean Garehan

David GrantMarilyn GrantElaine Ike

Suzanne GrantMarilyn GrantElaine Ike

Gertrude HelderJudy BrouwerBrent and Nancy Jo BunceFred and Sue ColliganKaren HelderMarvin and Donna HelderCindy HoltropMichael and Yvonne ProwantMr. and Mrs. Henry Ritsema Dr. Barbara Top RegencyJacob and Ann Scheeres

Leah KosLois Williams Jim MorrisWest Side Christian School

Marian MulderGeorge and Rozanne BruinsKenneth and Judith Fletcher Bruce MulderGladys WierengaRuth Wierenga

Orie OppenhuizenTerry and Jan Brummel

Neda RaterinkDavid and Lorraine Becksvoort

Gladys RootRoger and Joan CremerCharlotte GeelhoedJerry and Esther HeyboerPeg KnollMr. and Mrs. Edward MeeuwsenHudson NyenhuisEvelyn OsterbrockEsther RichardsKimberly RootLarry and Sandy RoseAnna Mae RotmanJean StuckeyJohn and Margaret Wiersma

Bob SmitLeonard and Leonora Smit

Marc SnyderDale and Louise Snyder

Al WilsonMr. and Mrs. Larry Bruining

To receive a digital copy of this and future issues of the IMPACT please send an email to advancement@wedgwood.org with Go Digital as the subject line.