Illuminating Ideas

Shereen Lisa Dudar,

Opinions Editor

[email protected]

Sierra Patheal,

Campus Editor

[email protected]

Michael Wood,

Music Editor

[email protected]

Roque Renteria,

Entertainment Editor

[email protected]

Alyssa Keyne,

Literature Editor

[email protected]

Chrissy Bastian,

Athletics Editor

[email protected]

Contributors:

Paula Tena, Linda Nygård, Alexis Jacob, Geno Mehalik, Soohee Han, Sophia Zarders, Wes Young, Kevin Tran, Helen Ames, Michelle Slieff, Delon Villanueva, Bianca Lemus, Vivian Valencia, Eric Herschler, Aaron Mason, Hazuki Onaga.

Questions? Comments? Coco Marx?

-AIL��"ELLmOWER�"LVD��3TE��Long Beach, CA 90815.0HONE��E-mail: [email protected]

Issue 74.6

LBUnion.com

Rose and the Sasquatch We

Treated Badly

Disclaimer and Publication Information:

The Union Weekly is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of the Union Weekly, not ASI or CSULB. All students ARE�WELCOME�AND�ENCOURAGED�TO�BE�A�PART�OF�THE�Union Weekly�STAFF��!LL�LETTERS�TO�THE�EDITOR�WILL�BE�CONSIDERED�FOR�PUBLICATION��(OWEVER��#35,"�STUDENTS�WILL�HAVE�PRECEDENCE��0LEASE�INCLUDE�NAME�AND�MAJOR�FOR�ALL�SUBMISSIONS��4HEY�ARE�SUBJECT�TO�EDITING�AND�WILL�NOT�BE�RETURNED��,ETTERS�MAY�OR�may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. The Union Weekly�WILL�PUBLISH�anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustration, but must have your name and information ATTACHED� FOR� OUR� RECORDS�� ,ETTERS� TO� THE�EDITOR� SHOULD�BE�NO� LONGER� THAN��WORDS�� 4HE Union Weekly assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures ARE�AVAILABLE�IN�THE�!SSOCIATED�3TUDENTS�BUSINESS�OFlCE�

Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

“Sorry, I’m not lactating anymore.”Alfred Pallarca, Culture Editor

Rose Feduk, Editor-in-Chief

Marco Beltran, Managing Editor

Connor O’Brien, Managing Editor

Eric Garcia, Advertising Exec

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

Assistant Editor:

Sam Winchester

There’s no feature this week, and I’m

going to tell you why. You see, last week

when we went into the deep drawer next to

my desk labeled “FEATURES,” all I found

were some ketchup packets and cobwebs.

Usually, when I look in this drawer,

there’s a tiny Sasquatch with a typewriter

hunched in an uncomfortable position,

with sweat dripping from his furry brow

as he clacks away on the feature for the

week. He conducts all the interviews,

transcribes all the audio, and does hours

of fact checking and copy-editing while

we hoot and holler and bang on the desk

while watching reality shows on Hulu

Plus. As it turns out, he left a few days ago,

leaving just a note that cited “unsuitable

working conditions,” “unequal pay,” and

“too much loud” as his reasons for leaving.

We’ve tried to contact his landlord and

members of his family to prod him back

into working with us, promising a 20%

increase of twigs and berries for his wages,

but we’ve had no luck. Sasquatch has

¼\d[�aUR�P\\]��AUb`��dR�Na�aUR�Union are

temporarily without a feature and have

learned a valuable lesson in labor rights.

If you’re not buying that story, I have

an alternative: we just have too much

good content that we wanted to show

you this week, and we couldn’t squeeze

in a three-page feature. In addition, we

have also brought back our Athletics

page, headed by our new editor, Chrissy

Bastian. Give her a private round of

applause and send her reviews of games

on campus, sports news, analysis, and

anything related to doing the opposite of

what I do most of the time (which is just

sitting around).

Speaking of writing articles, here are a

few more ideas you can ponder while you

peruse through this issue: A tour through

the most expensive music videos ever

made (Michael Jackson’s “Scream” was not

worth every penny,) an article documenting

the worst movies Paul Giamatti has ever

made, or a photo tour of art made with

food. Those are just casual suggestions of

course. I’m sure you’ve thought of more

inspired ones at three in the morning. Now,

go forth and write! And if you know why

that music video cost so much, please email

me at [email protected].

6

&OLLOW�US�@UnionWeekly

Alfred Pallarca,

Culture Editor

[email protected]

Molly Shannon,

Food Editor

[email protected]

Connor O’Brien,

Art Director

[email protected]

Truc Nguyen,

Web Manager

WEB LBUNION�COM

God Warrior,

Grunion Editor

[email protected]

OPEN MEETINGS EVERY TUESDAY AT 5:30PM

MEET US AT OUR OFFICE IN THE BOTTOM FLOOR OF THE USU.

EMAIL [email protected] FOR MORE DETAILS.

3C

amp

us

Words cannot begin to describe how invaluable my Alternative Spring Break Program experience in 2013 was, but I will give it a shot. First and foremost, I credit the coordinator of this program, Dr. Beverly Booker, for her collaborative leadership approach, which brought the very best out of me and my fellow travelers. I am certain that one of the factors that made this experience so crucial to my personal and professional development was that each individual who participated was included in the planning and implementation of the entire service learning project. Absolutely everyone involved was V[QV`]R[`NOYR� a\� \b_� RÞ\_a`�� =R_`\[NYYf�� 6�was given the opportunity to teach dance to Ghanaian children, something I would have never fathomed when I began my journey as a dancer. Additionally, we held workshops for our service learning sites, which covered the topics of ethnic identity, storytelling, public

speaking, and career goals. Each workshop was facilitated by an emerging leader in the discipline, which provided us all with the opportunity to explore how we could creatively transfer our skill sets to serve a population with cultural nuances that were relatively new to us.

On a personal note, the experience of being an African-American on the continent of Africa felt incredibly healing to me. I have participated in a few campus presentations on our group’s experience this past year, and I consistently speak to the theme of “connection,” which was pervasive throughout this journey. I recall sitting in \[R�\S�\b_�»_à�]_R�QR]N_ab_R�ZRRaV[T`��dVaU�everyone in our group going round robin stating their intentions and expectations for the trip. At the time, I stated that my intention was to learn to love and appreciate Zf`RYS�� @]RPV»PNYYf�� 6� dN[aRQ� a\� OR� Z\_R�

comfortable embracing the African side of my label as African-American. Growing up in a culture in which there are very few accurate and positive representations of Black people, it was important that I seek out my heritage beyond the US narrative of slavery. Being in an environment in which I saw myself _R¼RPaRQ� \[� OVYYO\N_Q`�� V[� NQcR_aV`RZR[a`��in the faces of university professors, in the beauty of an African rainforest, and in the eyes of the most humble and appreciative children I have ever encountered left me walking tall with the healthiest sense of pride N[Q�P\[»QR[PR�6�UNcR�RcR_�X[\d[�

This is not to say this experience did not bring to the forefront the harsh realities of the aftermath of centuries of enslavement and colonialism. But through these realities, I was able to recognize my privilege as an American, as well as my responsibility as a descendent of Africans to honor the

legacy of those who came before me. This recognition was probably most salient as I stood at the “Door of No Return” at the Cape Coast Dungeons. This was a location where Africans who had been captured and enslaved were taken prior to making the journey to the Americas. As the door opened, I looked out and could visibly see the toll that hundreds of years of oppression had taken on Africa and its people, and I was NdN_R� aUNa� aUR`R� RÞRPa`� ReaR[QRQ� a\� aUR�entire diaspora. However, a warm feeling of hope and promise came over me as I walked through the door and looked back to read the inscription on the opposite side, which read “Door of Return.” In that brief instance, it occurred to me that I, and every other descendant who could comprehend that message, represented a people coming full circle and stepping back into their place as an equal and vital part of humanity.

It’s easy to forget how long it takes to rebuild after a disaster. When that disaster was initially approached in a manner as uncoordinated and V[RÞRPaVcR� N`� dVaU� 5b__VPN[R� 8Na_V[N�� aUNa�reconstruction takes even longer. Perhaps one of the longest-lasting realizations I gained from participating in CSULB’s Alternative Spring Break program in New Orleans a few years ago was that disasters are far from over when they stop showing up on prime-time AC�� N[Q� V[QVcVQbNY� RÞ\_a`� PN[� àVYY� ZNXR� N�QVÞR_R[PR� Z\[aU`�� fRN_`�� N[Q� RcR[� QRPNQR`�after the destruction.

The Alternative Spring Break program is part of a full, three-unit class, a capstone that meets General Education requirements for both Human Diversity and the D2 category. Participants learn about the history and culture of New Orleans, the circumstances surrounding 5b__VPN[R� 8Na_V[N�� N[Q� aUR� RSSRPa`� \S� aUR�storm. Then, finally, when other students are jetting off to spend Spring Break on

their couches or in Cabo, the Alternative Spring Break class flies out to New Orleans and spends the week volunteering with Habitat for Humanity and building houses in some of the neighborhoods that were hit the hardest by the storm.

While one week of service doesn’t make NYY� aUR� QVÞR_R[PR� V[� aUR� d\_YQ�� P\[aV[bRQ�RÞ\_a`�Q\��N[Q�0@B9/´`�.YaR_[NaVcR�@]_V[T�Break has been facilitating student aid in New Orleans annually since the initial disaster. Long Beach continually makes an RÞ\_a� a\� Ù\d�aUNa� aUR�RÞRPa`�\S� aUR�à\_Z�have not been forgotten.

This spring will be the ninth anniversary \S� 5b__VPN[R� 8Na_V[N�� N[Q� `\ZR� \S� aUR�hardest-hit quarters of the city, like the economically depressed Ninth Ward, are àVYY� [RN_Yf� N`� ONQYf� \Þ� N`� aURf� dR_R� `\\[�after the storm. Consider signing up to swing a hammer or fasten down a roof next `]_V[T(� f\b� [RcR_� X[\d� aUR� QVÞR_R[PR� f\b�can make.

It was probably the best $800 I spent during last the winter break. I decided to take Winter @R``V\[� S\_� aUR� »_à� aVZR� Na� 0@B9/� N[Q�took POSC 450, or “Comparative Political Movements,” to meet both a General Education and a major requirement. The class was intense, as a whole semester would be compressed into a mere two weeks.

DR�QVQ�aUR�b`bNY�YRPab_R�àbÞ��Oba�]R_UN]`�the most rewarding part of the class was the community service we had to do. We dR_R� _R^bV_RQ� a\� c\Yb[aRR_� S\_� N� [\[�]_\»a�organization for the class to witness how a social movement starts and progresses, as dRYY� N`� a\� NPabNYYf� P_RNaR� N� QVÞR_R[PR�dVaUV[�the neighborhood. Students attending class during a regular semester would need to do 20 hours of community service of their choice; seeing our class only lasted for two weeks, we only had to do 10 hours.

Conveniently, the professor handed us N� YVà� \S� `RcR_NY� [\[�]_\»a� \_TN[VgNaV\[`�around LA and Orange County that we could

dedicate our time to. A few representatives from the organizations also visited the class to tell us the opportunities that await us. Some of the standouts within my class were Tree People, Shoestring City Ranch, and Thomas House.

I decided to do my 10 hours at the Thomas House, since volunteering to mentor children has always been a passion of mine. Thomas House is an organization that helps families who are either homeless or on the brink of U\ZRYR``[R``� ORP\ZR� `RYS�`bßPVR[a�� AURf�\ÞR_� N[� NSaR_�`PU\\Y� aba\_V[T� N[Q� `\PVNY�program for children and teenagers.

Although it is not mandatory for students to continue serving for our chosen organization after the 10 hours are completed, I drop by at least every other week to volunteer. Helping those children out is truly satisfying. ;\a�\[Yf�QVQ�6�]N``�aUR�PYN``�dVaU�¼fV[T�P\Y\_`�and feel productive during the winter break, I also felt a sense of satisfaction for spending some of my time helping people out.

Enacting our Educations

Aaron Mason ContributorAcross the ocean: Ghana, Africa

Have you ever wished you could swing a hammer instead of lugging around your textbook? Do you dream about traveling to the African diaspora instead of listening to lectures about the continent in your Geography classroom? Do you wish you could give back to your community in addition to living and learning in it? If so, CSULB’s service learning classes might be the perfect choice for you. Here, students report their worldwide volunteer experiences!and the outcome is unanimous: Do it. Make a difference through your coursework; you won’t regret it.Alternative Spring Break coursework is only offered in the spring, but service learning offerings can be seen at http://www.csulb.edu/divisions/aa/personnel/cce/students/courses/.

Across the country: New Orleans, Louisiana

Across the street: Thomas House, Garden GroveSierra Patheal Campus Editor Alfred Pallarca Culture Editor

Jumping on the levy above the Ninth Ward Donut-eating contest at the Thomas HouseGroup picture with Ghanaian students

4

I quit. Despite the negative connotation of the word “quit,” I can assure you that there N_R� aVZR`� dUR[� ^bVaaV[T� V`� Wb`aV»RQ� N[Q�doing so will make you feel better than if you had stayed. Ever since childhood, it’s been ingrained into our heads that quitting is for failures and that we should keep at it, but if you’re bad at something, don’t enjoy it, or no longer care—walk away. I understand that that’s easier said than done.

Some people, including myself, will stay at a job long after they know they want to leave because too much time has already been invested. We have friends who make the job tolerable and we get paid, so there shouldn’t be anything to complain about, but we just can’t shake that feeling that this place ultimately sucks, which causes us to roll our eyes every time our boss leaves the room and doing work we know is subpar.

When this vicious cycle is reached, it’s better to just stop. Going to work is a waste of time—your friends will continue to contact you if they care to and the money can be found elsewhere. Stop thinking in terms of time spent and start thinking in terms of happiness lost.

Now you’re ready to quit. There’s supposed to be a process involving a two weeks’ notice and a resignation letter, both of which are ingrained in your head even though you never learned them anywhere. All we’re ever taught is how to get a job. At some point, someone told you how to write and format your résumé, what to wear for an interview, and what sort of answers you should have, but no one ever said, “This is how you quit.” The focus is on getting the job, even if it’s shitty.

DUR[� 6� ^bVa�� 6� QR»[VaRYf� QVQ� Va� d_\[T��Oba�6�Wb`aV»RQ�Va�Of�aRYYV[T�Zf`RYS�aUNa�Va�dN`�an unpaid job through the school, therefore I had no obligation to dress up and meet in person. I played with the phrase “I quit” for a couple of days and ultimately decided to avoid those actual words and opt for, “I have

decided to let go of…” and, “It’s time for me to give my attention to new things.” The only problem, and the only reason I remember these phrases verbatim, is I told my boss all this over text.

I can continue to claim that it was a weekend and our work schedule goes full swing Monday through Wednesday, so I was just trying to leave before then, but I know deep down that I did it because I was scared. No matter how good your relationship with your boss is or how charismatic of a person you are, it’s difficult to be confident when you’re quitting. Because of the mentality ingrained in our heads as children, being a “quitter” will be difficult and feel bad.

If I had quit in person, or even called, I know I wouldn’t have said everything with as much poise as I did over text. I would have stumbled over my words, felt anxious, and probably changed my mind halfway through and decided not to quit. My boss called me a couple hours later, and I paced back and forth listening to him say how much I would be missed while interjecting to assure him that I only left to pursue other goals and did not have any pent-up animosity, but even then, it was nerve-wracking. I quit, I was sure of it, and there was no going back. I felt extremely relieved and free, and then I wanted to cry and felt like my insides were going to collapse; aUR[��»[NYYf��6�SRYa�\XNf�NTNV[�

I overthought the whole process, and leaving felt like I was losing a part of myself, but that’s simply not true in retrospect. I got everything I wanted from that job and it was great while it lasted. It’s important to remember that the only way to advance is to leave old things behind.

This isn’t a manifesto encouraging you to quit your job, but rather to push you to rethink where you are and whether you can do better. No, happiness won’t pay the bills, but if the time you’re spending at your job feels wasted, consider walking away.

Op

inio

ns

Throwing in the Towel

Shereen Lisa Dudar Opinions Editor

Why quitting can be a good thing

Illustration by Rose Feduk Editor-in-Chief

I’m not really an expert when it comes to Instagram. I had one for less than a month and even though it wasn’t for me, I was able to understand what Instagram was all about and stopped being a massive hater.

Instagram is actually pretty neat, because it’s the only popular app that allows people to post their boring daily lives through pictures. People like it because it’s a fun way to capture the monotony of life. The people who complain about their feed being littered with pictures of white girls’ vanilla lattes just don’t get it. Instagram isn’t supposed to be some life-changing photographic revelation. It’s a fucking social network app that lets you share pictures of your day with your friends. What more do you want?

The main reason people hate on Instagram has to do with the filters. Professional photographers frown upon Instagram users because they think the quick filters are an insult to the time it takes to create and develop a real photograph. Many photographers claim that Instagram will never take over real photography, to which I reply, “No shit.” Instagram doesn’t need to take over photography. Comparing Instagram to photography is like comparing vinyl records to mp3s. Both play music, but they are completely different beasts. Instagram is an easy way to test your artistic waters before you commit to real photography. Even if you’re not interested in photography, it’s still interesting to see how your friends lead

their daily lives.Kevin Tran complained last week about

how Instagram showcases how boring people’s lives are. That’s the point. People like Instagram because it shows that people lead pretty average lives. I’m a total Facebook addict, but I understand that it’s nothing more than a highlight reel. Most ]R\]YR� Wbà� ÙN_R� àbÞ� \[� Va� aUNa� ZNXR`�them look good. The same can’t be said for Instagram, and that’s why most people prefer it. So take a picture of that pretty sunset or misspelled Starbucks name, and realize that you’re just as average as everyone else.

Filtered Fun

Eric Herschler Contributor

“Instagram isn’t supposed to be some life-changing photographic revelation.”

5O

pin

ion

s

In defense

of Instagram

On Friday afternoon, I competed in the CSULB Student Research Competition. My category was Creative Arts & Design, and I had a wonderful time presenting my thesis project to a couple of knowledgeable, engaged faculty members from the Graphic Design and Architecture departments on campus.

I was also the only competitor in my category. While the experience of presenting was wonderful practice for possible conference involvement in the future, and while I rarely turn down the opportunity to ramble on about my current ]_\WRPa`�� aUR� »_à�]YNPR� PR_aV»PNaR� Na� aUR�R[Q�\S� aUR�PR_RZ\[f�SRYY�N� YVaaYR�¼Na�� 6�ORNa�myself! Congratulations, self!

As strange as that felt, it also made me realize how surprisingly uncompetitive some of the opportunities on our campus are. There are chances to excel all over this univeristy, and in our overworked, overstressed lives, most of us simply overlook them, convincing ourselves we wouldn’t have a chance if we entered anyway. We forget the fact that most of us are doing pretty awesome things with our lives, and if we just took a moment to frame them properly, there are organizations

on campus that would love to reward us for those them. And so for whatever reason—fear, embarrassment, or a simple acknowledgement of thirty-three things to do on the due date—we let opportunities pass us by, never realizing just how accessible those awards and recognitions may be.

Now, I should mention that Creative Arts & Design was not the only category V[� aUR� RcR[a�� N[Q� P\Z]RaVaV\[� dN`� àVÞ�in some of the sections. My respect and congratulations go out to winners in the Behavioral & Social Sciences and the Health, Nutrition, & Clinical Sciences sections in particular—those were competitive. But my section wasn’t the only category with only one presenter, and some of the categories had no entrants at all.

Don’t tell me there’s no one on this campus doing research in Biology or Agriculture. If one student in those divisions had decided to submit a project synopsis, that lucky student would have walked away from the ten-minute presentation (and beautiful, catered awards dinner) with a check for $100 in the mail and an opportunity to represent CSULB at Cal State East Bay in May. Seems like a weighty reward for the effort of

summarizing some research and giving a brief presentation.

That’s the thing about awards, competitions, and scholarships—you never know who’s going to enter. Sure, it might seem overwhelming when you look Na� aUR� \ßPVNY� _RTVà_NaV\[� S\_Z�� Oba� dU\�knows? You might be the only person in that category. Or you might be one in a thousand, and your project still might be the best. You’ll never know until you give it a chance.

So, next time you see an award or competition advertised on campus, pause for a moment and think about it. Do you UNcR�`\ZRaUV[T�aUNa�P\bYQ�»a,�0\bYQ�f\b�]ba�something together in time? If the answer to those two questions is unequivocally “no,” then alright—it would make no sense to try to track down every opportunity in Long Beach, and you’d run yourself ragged trying to. But if you can answer those questions Nß_ZNaVcRYf�� aUR[� aUR_R� V`[á� ZbPU� \S� N�reason not to give it a try. Sure, it might be scary, and maybe it’s something you think you can never win—but just imagine how wonderful you’ll feel if you do!

Competing Against Myself

Sierra Patheal Campus Editor

If you don’t try,

you’ll never

succeed

VOTER INFORMATION!e Associated Students, Incorporated (ASI) has requested that the

university’s Student Fee Advisory Committee conduct a referendum to provide additional support for ASI programs and services by increasing the Associated Students fee. !e amount of the requested fee increase is $16 per semester ($12 in the summer) e"ective fall 2014. Additionally, to address in#ationary concerns, the ASI is requesting the ASI fee be subject to adjustment every three years from the date of the referendum’s passage by an amount not to exceed the corresponding increase or decrease in the Consumer Price Index for the Los Angeles-Riverside-Orange County area. All such adjustments would be subject to authorization by the Student Fee Advisory Committee, with the $rst adjustment being implemented in fall 2017. !e fee referendum will be conducted as an online election on Wednesday, February 26 and !ursday, February 27, 2014.

BACKGROUND!e Associated Students fee has not been increased since fall 2000.

In the years since then, the cost of operating ASI’s various programs and services has increased by over 44% with no corresponding increase in the fee amount. In order to keep o"ering programs and services, ASI has had to freeze employee wages, refrain from replacing outdated property and equipment, postpone the maintenance and upgrade of ASI-operated facilities such as the Isabel Patterson Child Development Center and the Soroptimist House, and hold o" on establishing any new programs or services that students have been requesting, such as a 24-hour study center, major concerts and large-scale entertainment programs, and additional scholarships.

With the upcoming increase in the California minimum wage and the need to address the deteriorating condition of ASI facilities, ASI is faced with the possibility of having to decrease the amount of funds awarded to student clubs and organizations, discontinue the funding of scholarships, and possibly eliminate certain programs or services.

Due to these challenging $nancial circumstances, the Associated Students, Incorporated is proposing that the Student Fee Advisory Committee conduct this referendum, allowing students to vote on increasing the Associated Students fee.

Argument for a Fee Increase

•With a $16 fee increase, CSULB will still be among the lowest in ASI fees of any public, four-year institution in the State of California.•!e $16 fee increase will allow ASI to provide new programs and services such as a 24-hour study center, a major concert, other large-scale entertainment programs, study abroad grants, and/or research grants. •ASI has delayed many projects due to a 36% loss of buying power since 2001 and thirteen years of in#ation. !is fee will allow ASI to fund many badly needed projects.•!e fee will be adjusted to the Consumer Price Index (CPI) every three years, e"ective 2017 giving ASI consistent buying power in spite of in#ation. •!e $16 fee increase will prevent further cuts in ASI programs and services, such as student organization grants, student travel funds, club sports funding, scholarships, childcare services, and recycling services.

Argument against a Fee Increase

•!e $16 per semester fee increase is in addition to other fee increases such as the recent increase in the Student Excellence fee.•Every three years, subject to the approval of the Student Fee Advisory Committee, the fee will be adjusted to match the CPI without a vote of the student body. •!e $16 per semester fee increase will be especially felt by students who are not on $nancial aid or scholarship programs.•Some students may not take advantage of the new programs and services.

General INFORMATION

8

Fo

od

So you just broke up with your boyfriend. Maybe your cat died. Or you completely bombed a midterm for which you studied f\b_�N``�\Þ��6a�Q\R`[á�ZNaaR_�dUNa´`�O_V[TV[T�f\b�Q\d[� Na� aUR�Z\ZR[a°f\b´_R� _RNPUV[T�for the family-sized tub of ice cream. Well, 5.;1@�<33� A52� ?<08F� ?<.1�� 6[àRNQ�\S� Q_\d[V[T� f\b_� `\__\d`� V[� aUR� Z\_R�traditional comfort food, take yourself out \[�N�U\a�QNaR� a\�5NZO\[R´`�//>��.SaR_� NYY��what better way to pump up your spirits than UNcV[T�±`\bY�S\\Q,²�

This homestyle eatery located on .Y\[Q_N�V[�/RYY¼\dR_�\ÞR_`�ZbYaV]YR�R[a_RR`�to beef up your heart, from pulled pork and brisket barbeque to baby-back ribs and, of P\b_`R�� aURV_� SNZ\b`� ]\Ó\f� `N[QdVPUR`��9Nà� 3_VQNf� [VTUa�� 6� T_NOORQ� N� SRd� ]NY`� N[Q�made the drive up the 605 North. Despite N__VcV[T� V[� aUR�ZVQQYR� \S� aURV_� QV[[R_� _bÙ��6� ZV_NPbY\b`Yf� ZN[NTRQ� a\� àRNY� N� ]N_XV[T�`]NPR� V[� aURV_� aV[f� Y\a�� DUR[� dR� »[NYYf�walked into this establishment, we were Ù\PXRQ� a\� »[Q� N[� \cR_dURYZV[T� NZ\b[a�\S� Ub[T_f� Pbà\ZR_`� U\cR_V[T� N_\b[Q� aUR�P\b[aR_��DR�`^bRRgRQ�aU_\bTU�N�SRd�]R\]YR�a\�_RNPU�S\_�̀ \ZR�ZR[b`�N[Q�ORTN[�N[NYfgV[T�aUR�PU\VPR`��<_QR_V[T�NURNQ�]_\ONOYf�d\bYQ�have helped.

FR`�� aUR_R� dN`� N� T\\Q�`VgRQ� P_\dQ� Na�RVTUa� \´PY\PX� Na� [VTUa�� N[Q� aUR_RS\_R� aUR_R�dN`�N�T\\Q�PUb[X�\S�dNVaV[T�NSaR_�\_QR_V[T��Oba� aUR� Z\ZR[a� RNPU� \S� b`� a\\X� \b_� »_à�OVaR`°RcR_faUV[T� PUN[TRQ�� 6a� dN`� YVXR� aUR�TNaR`�\S�5RNcR[�UNQ�\]R[RQ�� N[Q�4\Q�dN`�aUR�ONOf�ONPX�_VO�dN_ZYf�T_RRaV[T�Zf�aNàR�buds. The barbeque sauce that blanketed aUR� ]\_X� _VO`� dN`� `dRRa�� aN[Tf�� _VPU�� N[Q�Wbà� N� aNQ� `]VPf�� 9bPXVYf� 6� UNQ� \_QR_RQ� aUR�±3NZ\b`�@dNZ]�DNaR_�²��.8.�aUR�̀ dRRaRà�sweet-tea you will ever come across), just in PN`R�aUV[T`�ORPNZR�N�OVa�a\\�URNaRQ��6�]NV_RQ�the ribs with coleslaw, which was covered dVaU� N� TR[R_\b`� NZ\b[a� \S� Q_R``V[T°Wbà�U\d�6�YVXR�Va�

AU\`R�aUNa�W\V[RQ�ZR�\[�Zf�R[YVTUaR[V[T�food-venture included Alyssa, our Literature Editor, Alfred, our Culture Editor, and our Swedish friend Helen. Alyssa tried 5NZO\[R´`� ±@\bY�/\dY�²�dUVPU�]NPX`�ONXRQ�

macaroni & cheese, black-eyed peas, and ZRNa��RVaUR_�PUVPXR[��]bYYRQ�]\_X��\_�O_V`XRa��V[a\� N� ]RaVaR� Pb]�� T_RNa� N`� N�ZVQ�`VgRQ�ZRNY��@V[PR�.Yf``N� V`� N� cRTRaN_VN[�� ÙR� `bOàVabaRQ�aUR�ZRNa� S\_�P\YYN_Q�T_RR[`��dUVPU�UNQ�ORR[�boiled to perfection. Alyssa and her family have made soul food dishes like baked ZNPN_\[V�N[Q�P\YYN_Q�T_RR[`�S\_�fRN_`��`\�S\_�UR_�a\�`Nf�5NZO\[R´`�ZRNY`�N_R�P\Z]N_NOYR�a\�UR_�Z\aUR_´`�_RPV]R`�V`�̂ bVaR�N�P\Z]YVZR[a��

Alfred chose the chicken and shrimp tacos, which were decorated with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and salsa. He described aURZ� N`� ±QVÞR_R[a�� Oba� V[� N� T\\Q� dNf�²�9VXR�.Yf``N��UR�dR[a� S\_� aUR� P\YYN_Q�T_RR[`��and like me, he also went for the coleslaw. 5\dRcR_�� UR� QR»[VaRYf� P\[`VQR_RQ� aUR�P\YYN_Q� T_RR[`� UV`� SNc\_VaR�� 6a� dN`� UV`� »_à�aVZR�a_fV[T� aUR`R�QRYVTUa`��N[Q�aURf�QN[PRQ�N_\b[Q�V[�UV`�Z\baU�YVXR�aURf�dR_R�]N_afV[´�in the club.

Finally, Helen ordered the barbeque pulled pork sandwich with a side of sweet ]\aNa\�S_VR`��DR�à_NaRTVPNYYf�QRPVQRQ�a\�RNPU�ÙN_R� \b_�ZRNY`�� N[Q� aUb`�� 6� dN`� S\_ab[NaR�

R[\bTU� a\� QRc\b_� UNYS� \S� aUR� QRYRPaNOYR�`N[QdVPU�� N[Q�Z\_R� VZ]\_aN[aYf�� aUR�/2@A�`dRRa� ]\aNa\� S_VR`� 6� � UNcR� 2C2?� UNQ�� FR`��6� UNcR� UNQ� ]YR[af� \S� `dRRa� ]\aNa\� S_VR`� V[�my lifetime, but without a doubt, these trumped all the rest. The perfect balance of `bTN_�N[Q�`NYa�`]_V[XYRQ�aUR`R�`Nc\_f��aUV[T`��Oba� 6� SRRY� aUR�±Va� SNPa\_²� aUNa�ZNQR�aUR� S_VR`�Z\à�ZRZ\_NOYR�dN`�aUR�`dRRa�U\[Rf�TYNgR�Q_VggYRQ�\[�a\]��6�aUV[X�6�ZVTUa�P_f�Wbà�S_\Z��aUV[XV[T�NO\ba�aURZ�

@\bY� S\\Q� V[� TR[R_NY� aNXR`� N� 5B42�NZ\b[a�\S�RÞ\_a�a\�]bYY�\Þ��AVZR��QRQVPNaV\[��N[Q�]NaVR[PR�V`�dUNa�T\R`�V[a\�P\\XV[T�aUR`R�QVÙR`�� AUR� P\YYN_Q� T_RR[`�� aUR� ONXRQ� ZNP�and cheese, the sweet potatoes, the ribs; they are not easy to make. This is even more of a _RN`\[� dUf� 5NZO\[R´`� QR`R_cR`� N� OVTTR_�S\YY\dV[T�aUN[�Va�NY_RNQf�UN`�P\YYRPaRQ��FŃYY�NEED to check out this place. Alfred wanted me to mention that he spotted Dominic from Big Brother 13� Na�5NZO\[R´`� aUR�[VTUa�dR� dR[a�� @RR,� 2cR[� _RNYVaf� AC� àN_`� N_R�URNQV[T�\cR_�a\�aUV`�T\Q`R[Q��:f�R[aV_R�PN`R�is validated.

Words and Photos byMolly Shannon Food Editor

Soul Food“It was like the gates of Heaven

had opened, and God was the

baby-back rib warmly greeting my

taste buds..”

Hambone’s BBQ should be on every

foodie’s bucket list

2cR_f� QNf� 6� aNXR� \[R� \S� aUR� Ob`R`� a\� Zf�N]N_aZR[a�[RN_�1\d[a\d[�9\[T�/RNPU��N[Q�S\_�dRRX`�[\d�6�UNcR�ORR[�RfRV[T�N�O_VTUaYf��colored food shack called Seoulmate. Trust ZR� dUR[� 6� `Nf� ±O_VTUa� P\Y\_RQ'²� Va`� _\\S� V`�YVaR_NYYf�N�=R]a\�/V`Z\Y�P\Y\_�N[Q�V`�S_NZRQ�Of� QN_X� T_Rf� dNYY`�� <U�� 6� d\[á� S\_TRa� a\�ZR[aV\[°dUR[� 6� `Nf� ±ÙNPX�²� 6� ZRN[� N�house that was converted to a business. As a 8\_RN[�S\\Q�Y\cR_�6�V[àN[aYf�X[Rd�aUNa�aUR�d\_Q� ±@R\bY²� V[� @R\bYZNaR� _RSR_`� a\� @\baU�8\_RN´`�ZRa_\]\YVaN[�PN]Va\Y��N[Q�aUR_RS\_R�meant some type of Korean food heaven had just opened near my place, which meant no Z\_R�Q_VcV[T�a\�0R__Va\`�S\_�Zf�8\_RN[�S\\Q�»e�� .SaR_� dRRX`� \S� d\[QR_V[T� N[Q� P_NcV[T�dUNa�ZVTUa� OR� dNVaV[T� S\_�ZR� V[� aUV`� [R\[�

U\b`R�� 6� »[NYYf� ZNQR� aUR� à\]� aUV`� ]Nà�3_VQNf�� ;\a� \[Yf� QVQ� 6� UNcR� aUR� PUN[PR� a\�aNàR� aUR� S\\Q�� Oba� 6� NY`\� UNQ� aUR� U\[\_� \S�V[aR_cVRdV[T�Va`�\d[R_��7N`\[�8N[T��

DUR[�6�ZRa�7N`\[��6�dN`�`b_]_V`RQ�a\�`RR�aUNa�UR�N]]RN_RQ�a\�OR�f\b[T��YVXR�UR�P\bYQ�OR�a classmate in one of my journalism classes. 5V`� YNVQ�ONPX� ONOf�OYbR� aRR�� Y\[T� Ù\_a`��OYNPX�S_NZRQ� TYN``R`�� N[Q� P\Z]YRaRYf� `YVZ�]Uf`V^bR�aU_Rd�ZR�\Þ��6�TbR``�6�Re]RPaRQ�a\�meet a heavy-set businessman in his 50s or #�`�dVaU�N�T\YQ�dNaPU��A\�OR�U\[Rà��Va�dN`�N�O_RNaU�\S�S_RÙ�NV_�a\�̀ RR�̀ \ZR\[R�YVXR�7N`\[��N�_RNß_ZNaV\[�aUNa�N[f\[R�Na�N[f�NTR�PN[�aNXR�\[�N�T_RNa�aN`X�`bPU�N`�\d[V[T�N�Ob`V[R``��

� 7N`\[� V`� N� 8\_RN[�.ZR_VPN[� � \_VTV[NYYf�S_\Z�;Rd�F\_X��5R�Z\cRQ�a\�9\[T�/RNPU�V[�

��&�N[Q�dN`�`b_]_V`RQ�a\�»[Q�\ba�aUNa�aUR_R�was only one Korean restaurant in the entire PVaf�� dUVPU� UR� S\b[Q� à_N[TR� ORPNb`R� 9\[T�/RNPU� a\� UVZ� V`� YVXR� N� ±ZV[V� � 9\`� .[TRYR`�²�7N`\[� `Nf`� aUV`� V`� \[R� \S� aUR� aUV[T`� aUNa�VT[VaRQ� UV`� VQRN� a\� \]R[� UV`� 8\_RN[� Sb`V\[�_RàNb_N[a� V[� 9\[T� /RNPU�� `V[PR� aUR_R� dN`�±[\a�N�dU\YR�Y\a�\S�P\Z]RaVaV\[�²�

7N`\[´`� ]N``V\[� a\� \]R[� N� _RàNb_N[a�dN`� `]N_XRQ� dUR[� UR� UNQ� UV`� »_à� W\O� Na�DR[Qf´`� N[Q� `\\[� NSaR_� T\a� UV_RQ� Na� N[�<baONPX�@aRNXU\b`R��5V`�Re]R_VR[PR�V[�O\aU�places allowed him to see what he says were ±��`XRaPUf�aUV[T`'�O\``R`�ORV[T�QRZRN[V[T�a\�RZ]Y\fRR`��AUNa´`�dUf�6�\]R[RQ�@R\bYZNaR��`\� 6� d\bYQ[á� Q\� aU\`R� aUV[T`� UR_R�� AUR_R�V`� [\� RePb`R�� aU\`R� aUV[T`� Ù\bYQ� [RcR_�UN]]R[�²�7N`\[�`Nf`�aUNa�VS�UR�UNQ�a\�PU\\`R�ORadRR[�]NfV[T�UV`�RZ]Y\fRR`�YR``�\_�PY\`V[T�Seoulmate, he would rather close down.

Seoulmate is a very intimate and mellow ]YNPR� aUNa� `RRZ`� a\� OR� NaaRZ]aV[T� a\� O_V[T�N�]\`VaVcR� cVOR� a\�9\[T�/RNPU�� aU_\bTU�O\aU�S\\Q� N[Q� àN[QN_Q`�� 6a´`� ORR[� \[Yf� S\b_�Z\[aU`�`V[PR�Va`�\]R[V[T��Oba�aUR_R�NY_RNQf�V`�N[�\cR_¼\d�\[�3_VQNf`�N[Q�@Nab_QNf`�Qb_V[T�Yb[PU� N[Q� QV[[R_�� 7N`\[� P\ZZR[aRQ� NO\ba�@R\bYZNaR´`�T_\daU��±DR�N_R�Wbà�aNXV[T�Va�QNf�Of�QNf��2cR_faUV[T�UR_R�V`�`ZNYY�N[Q�V[aVZNaR��NYZ\à�YVXR�N�]R_ZN[R[a�S\\Q�a_bPX�²�5V`�VQRN�for Seoulmate derives from fusion food trucks YVXR�8\TV��±6�U\]R�aUNa�Va�dVYY�OR�N�T\\Q�R[\bTU�ÙNPX�aUNa�]R\]YR�dVYY�a_NcRY�a\�TRa�UR_R�²�5R�`Nf`�aUNa�UR´`�[\a�NTNV[à�S_N[PUV`V[T�Oba�aUNa�_R]YVPNaV[T� @R\bYZNaR� d\bYQ� OR� QVßPbYa'��»[QV[T�N[\aUR_�Y\PNaV\[�N[Q�P\]fV[T�N�U\b`R�aUNa´`� ]V[X°aUR� ]R_`\[NY� a\bPU� d\bYQ� OR�a\bTU�a\�ZNaPU��

DUR[� aNYXV[T� NO\ba� aUR� S\\Q� Na�@R\bYZNaR�� 7N`\[� `NVQ�� ±DR� UNcR� PYN``VP�Korean staples, but we also have our fusion VaRZ`� a\� »a� N� ZbYaVPbYab_NY� PVaf� YVXR� 9\[T�/RNPU�²� 6� N`XRQ�UVZ�U\d�URNYaUf� aURf�dR_R�N[Q� 7N`\[� Ù\dRQ� ZR� aUNa� aURf� _RNYYf� N_R�conscious about what they cook, especially because their entire kitchen is surrounded by a clear window so anyone and everyone can see how they make and prepare the S\\Q�� ±DR�Q\[á� S_f� N[faUV[T�� [\� \VY`��Z\à�\S�\b_�dNàR�V`�Q_f�dNàR�²�.]N_a��S_\Z�ORV[T�

conscious about the food at his restaurant, he also spoke about his customers. At @R\bYZNaR�� 7N`\[� \ÞR_`� `R]N_NaR� QV`P\b[a`�a\�DVY`\[� N[Q� 0@B9/� àbQR[a`�� 5R� `Nf`� Va�V`�ORPNb`R�±DVY`\[�àbQR[a`�N_R�Zf�[bZOR_�ad\� Pbà\ZR_`�� N[Q� 6� d\bYQ� `Nf� 0NY� @aNaR�9\[T�/RNPU�àbQR[a`�N_R�Zf�[bZOR_�aU_RR�²��5V`�[bZOR_�\[R�Pbà\ZR_`��UR�̀ Nf`��N_R�±P\\Y�f\b[T�]_\SR``V\[NY`�V[�aUR�[RVTUO\_U\\Q�²

� 4NgV[T� Na� aUR� ZR[b�� 6� `Nd� Va� UNQ�cRTRaN_VN[��ZRNa�Y\cR_��N[Q�RcR[�±Zb[PUVR²�\]aV\[`��6�P\bYQ[á�URY]�Oba�aUV[X�aUNa�7N`\[�V`�̀ VZ]Yf�N�Tbf�dU\�dN[a`�a\�]YRN`R�RcR_f\[R��and who opened Seoulmate not for his own TNV[�Oba�S\_�aUR�P\ZZb[Vaf�UR�YVcR`�V[��@\��6�totally recommend you not only stop by and a_f� @R\bYZNaR� Oba� `Nf� URYY\� a\� 7N`\[°URÝY�most likely be the friendly black-framed eye-TYN``RQ� 8\_RN[�.ZR_VPN[� `R_cV[T� f\b� f\b_�S\\Q�aU_\bTU�aUR�\_QR_�dV[Q\d�

“I guess I expected to meet a

heavy-set businessman in his 50s

or 60s with a gold watch.”Words and Photos by Bianca Lemus Staffer

9F

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Seoul FoodA one-on-one with the owner of

Seoulmate on 7th Street

The Darkness of My Happiness

Vivian Valencia Contributor

10

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lture

Sweet Dreams, or a Beautiful Nightmare

Shereen Lisa Dudar Opinions Editor

In the top drawer of my desk are two pill bottles: Quetiapine Fumarate (Seroquel) and Fluoxetine HCL (Prozac). I take them out every so often when I’m feeling anxious or when I have been awake in bed for hours, but I haven’t opened them and actually had a pill since last summer.

I started attending therapy and taking medication three years ago. After days with minimal sleep and food, I began hallucinating and decided enough was enough. I told my parents and they took me to a psychologist who had me go to a teen anxiety group. It wasn’t long before I had a psychiatrist put me on meds. For a while, the dosage kept going up and the appointments for blood work seemed never-ending. I was taking my medications during the day and floating from class to class in a zombie-like state.

When I was instructed to move my medicating time to an hour before bedtime, the zombie state transferred to my sleep.

I could practically feel the mood relaxers wash over me like a wave as I was rendered motionless and transported to Dream Land. It was fantastic.

It was too fantastic. Catching up on all the sleep I had been deprived of for so long was addicting. I loved those magical little pills that made me feel normal.

For the first time in a long time, I was having dreams. With these dreams came a new kind of insanity. The dreams involved people in my life and were so realistic that I became unaware whether things were happening in real life or just in my head.

Popping the pills was becoming routine and I couldn’t have imagined my life without them, which was definitely problematic. I didn’t want to need these little tablets and capsules. Yes, they were helpful in solving a problem, but they weren’t the only solution.

On my own, I decided that I was done taking pills. My sleep anxiety, depression,

and mania would have to be something I dealt with naturally. I had stopped going to therapy long before that, so I didn’t feel it necessary to run it by a doctor. I called the doctor about a month after I stopped taking the pills and they were cool with it and told me to come back if I ever felt suicidal.

I don’t really dream anymore and I sometimes have to wait until 2am before I SRRY�_RZ\aRYf�aV_RQ��Oba�aUR�a_NQR�\Þ�V`�d\_aU�it. I’m happy I got help when I needed it and overcame the stigma of taking medication. I am open about everything I’ve been through and I know that if I ever need to go back to taking medication, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Anxiety doesn’t just go away and I know I sometimes overreact when little things happen, but I’m not going to turn to my medication just because things get a little tough to handle. I have learned to turn anxiety into a positive experience.

6�dNaPURQ�N`�Zf�QNQ�P_VRQ� S\_� aUR�cR_f�»_`a�time in my life, as he was dropping me \Þ� Na� aUR� U\`]VaNY�� 6� dN`� UNcV[T� \[R� \S�Zf�worst episodes thus far. Nothing felt real, in fact none of the emotions I felt then are describable to me now.

I was diagnosed with bipolarism when I was 13. I would go through episodes of being sick. My emotions would fluctuate from some months of me being excited, having an abundance of energy, and confidence to think the impossible to having no emotions at all and feeling utterly depressed. I would feel as if I was a star, one of those famous celebrities in the movies, who had it all. In a blink of an eye, everything would change. My happiness high would quickly fade away like smoke would into thin air. Numbness would quickly start circulating my body, and all the positive energy would turn into negativity. I would go for days crying,

nights without sleep, and I felt like disappearing into darkness.

Looking back at those episodes, only images of those days come to mind. I feel [bZO� _R¼RPaV[T� \[� Va�� 6� NZ� `PN_RQ� \S� aUR�possibility of them happening again, and thinking about the future. Sometimes, it is hard for me to open up to people for fear of being judged. I realized that this is who I am, but at the same time, it doesn’t fully QR»[R�Zf�ReV`aR[PR��

Currently, I am in the dormant stage \S� Zf� NàVPaV\[�� 6� NZ� YVcV[T� YVSR� QNf� a\� QNf�and appreciating my health. I am taking my medication and focusing on things that make me happy. I decided to stop attending college as I realized it is not something that arouses my creativity. I am pursuing my passion in fashion and art outside of the college environment. Because of my episodes, I learned to appreciate my family and those who are close to me on a much deeper level.

Though one might think my disorder could possibly make my family fragile, it actually brings us closer together and stronger.

One day 10 years from now, I hope to have a so-called ‘normal’ life with a career that I have always wanted, a happy family, and the typical white picket fence around my house. Ideally, I would want work with children dealing with this syndrome N[Q�URY]� aURZ�»[Q� N� `\YbaV\[� a\� a_RNa� N[Q�improve their lives

Being bipolar does make me feel somewhat vulnerable, but having this NàVPaV\[�UN`�ZNQR�ZR� _RNYVgR� 6� PN[�UN[QYR�more than a regular person could. In a way, I like to see that me having this illness makes me a stronger person. It might not be over any time soon!maybe it will never be!but 6� X[\d� 6� NZ� N� QVÞR_R[a�!perhaps even a better person!every time I come out of it.

Illustration by Hazuki Onaga Contributor

About 50 million American adults are diagnosed with a mental

disorder and one in four are suffering from a diagnosable disorder

every year. Living with a mental condition can be challenging and

DIFlCULT�TO�MANAGE��NOT�INCLUDING�ALL�THE�SOCIAL�STIGMAS�THAT�GO�ALONG�WITH�HAVING�CERTAIN�AFmICTIONS��4HE�FOLLOWING�ARTICLES�ARE�WRITTEN�BY�students who deal with having a mental disorder and their daily

OBSTACLES��#ERTAINLY��THEY�ARE�lGHTING�A�GOOD�lGHT�AND�NOT�AN�EASY�ONE��(OWEVER��THEY�ARE�SHEDDING�LIGHT�TO�THE�TOPIC�AND�GIVING�A�VOICE�for those who are in the dark about their situation.

You may have wondered about that group

of people hanging out on the lawn near the

bookstore with hula-hoops, balls, clubs,

and other knick-knacks scattered around.

Some are tossing things around, while

others are just chilling. Personally, as I

walked by them to class each day, I would

be curious about who they were and what

they were all about. I guessed that they

were some sort of group of friends, just

hanging out and having fun.

DUR[� 6� »[NYYf� UNQ� aVZR� a\� à\]� Of� N[Q�N`X�� 6� dN`� `b_]_V`RQ� a\� »[Q� \ba� aURf� N_R� N�legitimate club. If you’ve heard the rumors

about how nice the Jugglers’ Club is, I can

tell you they are all true. From the second

you step onto the lawn, they are instantly

accepting and eager for new members. They

always have signs saying, “We teach!” and I

assumed that they were just being courteous,

but they are actually excited to tell you their

stories and show you how their tricks are

done. Obviously, one cannot learn the ways of

WbTTYV[T�\[�aUR�»_à�a_f��Oba�aUR�dU\YR�]\V[a�V`�to get you out there and engaged: attempting

new things while challenging yourself and

broadening your skills.

From what I saw, the Jugglers’ Club is

the perfect environment to feel safe and

comfortable to try out stunts. Everyone

there is learning new skills and pushing to

get better. It is not a competition, but a place

for experiences and friendship. So when you

have free time or a few minutes in between

classes, I suggest you stop by and try some

juggling out.

We met with Vice President Nestor

Ramirez and Secretary Christina Nguyen to

get the inside scoop on what the Beach Balls

Jugglers’ Club is all about.

UW: What made you guys join the

jugglers’ club? Did you see everybody

out here practicing and did that excite

you, or how did that come about?

CN: Yeah, that’s exactly what happened. I

just sat down on the grass one day and saw a

bunch of people juggling. I asked what they

were about, and they said that they were the

juggling club!

UW: So, when did you join?

CN:� 6� W\V[RQ� Zf� »_à� `RZRàR_� UR_R�� N[Q�I’m a junior now, so I’ve been here for three

N[Q�N�UNYS�fRN_`��AURf�dR_R�NPabNYYf�aUR�»_à�friends I made here, and I’ve met a lot of new

people along the way. It’s been pretty fun.

NR: And I joined just last semester. I was

_RYbPaN[a� a\� W\V[� Na� »_à(� 6� `Nd� ]R\]YR� UR_R�juggling, and I was kind of intimidated. It

took probably about two weeks for me to

come over here and join... But they were

really friendly people. I just came here, and I

was just accepted.

UW: How many hours a week would you

say you two are out here?

CN: It kind of depends. I would say we’ve all

improved on our skills here, because we’re

like, “Okay, we just want to play.” I’m here

sometimes for two hours, sometimes half an

hour [each day]… I try to come out here on

my breaks, whenever I’m done with class or

don’t have anything to do… You don’t even

have to really practice, if you don’t want to.

F\b�PN[�Wbà�Y\\X�N[Q�PUVYY��aUNa�XV[Q�\S�àbÞ��Still, usually everybody practices, so it’s fun.

UW: What’s your favorite thing—

juggling? Hula-hooping? Something else?

CN: DUR[�6�»_à�àN_aRQ�UR_R�� 6�QVQ�[\a�X[\d�how to juggle whatsoever. I actually learned

how to juggle last semester at the end, so it

took me a while, but I started out hula-hooping.

I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know

how to do any tricks, but then a bunch of hula-

hoopers kept on coming, and I watched and

asked questions, and now I think I’m pretty

decent. [Laughs] I’ve learned a lot of new tricks

and met a lot of new friends because of it. And

aUR[�WbTTYV[T��a\\°6ćR�»[NYYf�T\a�aUNa�Z\aV\[�going.

NR:� 6�QVQ[á�X[\d�U\d� a\� WbTTYR�dUR[� 6�»_à�started. They began teaching me, and I learned

]_Raaf�^bVPXYf©�6a´`�QR»[VaRYf�RN`VR_�a\� WbTTYR�balls, but I’m trying to get these [clubs] down.

UW: And how was Beach Balls founded?

CN: It was founded in the 1990s by a bunch of

math professors. They started with anything,

like those Rubix cubes—anything that you

could use, they juggled it. People are so

creative here. After the professors started it,

all of a sudden a bunch of people came by and

started juggling too, and then it was founded.

UW: Is there still a lot of professorial

involvement in the club?

CN: Not a lot, but I see them sometimes!

They’ll pop over with their clubs hidden in

their pockets, or something, and then they

bust them out… They’re really talented—

aURf�PN[�Q\�YVXR�»cR�Na�N�aVZR��

UW: So then, it took a while for it to

ORP\ZR�N[�NPabNY��\§PVNY�PYbO�CN: Yeah. This—a lot of people getting to

know it—started happening about a year

ago, maybe. When I first started, there

was nobody. We tried adding new things,

playing music, buying new equipment,

putting it on Facebook, putting up signs,

things like that. One of our former club

presidents, Walter, did an amazing job [of

making us more well-known].

UW: Would you say that you’re seeing

more people, now that you’ve branched

out a bit?

CN: Yeah! People are more open about it, I

think, and less afraid, hesitant, or reluctant.

Everything’s here—you just have to get

up and try it! The club here’s so nice, and

everybody’s so different, but everybody

gets along.

An inside look into the CSULB Beach Balls Jugglers’ Club

Juggle Them Balls Chrissy Bastian Athletics Editor

11A

thletics

Beach Balls meets on the lawn by the Bookstore Monday through Thursday from 11-3pm.

Facebook: Search for “Beach Balls: CSULB’s Juggling Club”

Email: [email protected]

Photos by Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

No list of African-American directors would be complete without the controversial and brilliant Spike Lee. Born and raised in New York, Lee comes from a rich tradition of New York University alumni. In 1986, he made his debut with the independently »[N[PRQ�She’s Gotta Have It. Made for about ��$"�� aUR� »YZ� TNcR� 9RR� UV`� »_à� P_RQVa�as actor, director, producer, and writer. She’s Gotta Have It was met with critical N[Q�P\ZZR_PVNY� `bPPR``�� `Xf_\PXRaV[T�9RR�into the Hollywood circuit. His exposure to ZNV[à_RNZ�NbQVR[PR`� YRQ� a\�UV`� P_\d[V[T�PV[RZNaVP� NPUVRcRZR[a�� aUR� �&%&� »YZ� Do

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Info & Tickets:www.calrep.org | (562) 985-5526

At the ROYAL THEATER aboard the Queen MaryFEBRUARY 21st - MARCH 8th, 2014

The Goat or, Who is Sylvia?

Edward Albee’s

Directed by James Martin

TABOO. TRAGEDY.

ABSURDITY.

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The series follows Steven Universe, a chubby kid who wears sandals, and his adventures as UR�aNT`�NY\[T�dVaU�aUR�0_fàNY�4RZ`��4N_[Ra��.ZRaUfà�� N[Q�=RN_Y��dU\� N_R� PUN_TRQ�dVaU�aUR�aN`X�\S�]_\aRPaV[T�UbZN[Vaf��AUR_R�UN`[á�ORR[� `bPU�N� `R_V\b`� a_V\�\S� N``�XVPXV[T�TV_Y`�\[� 0N_a\\[� ;Rad\_X� `V[PR� AUR� =\dR_]bÜ�Girls��N[Q�Va´`�T\\Q�a\�`RR�`bPU�T_\daU�S_\Z�aUR�[Rad\_X�V[�aR_Z`�\S�]_R`R[aV[T�N�cN_VRaf�of female character types, as demonstrated in this show and with most of Adventure

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I feel like I was put on this Earth to watch Rick

and Morty. Yes, I understand those are very Y\d� N`]V_NaV\[`� S\_� N� ]R_`\[� NaaR[QV[T� N[�V[àVabaV\[� \S� UVTUR_� YRN_[V[T� dVaU� U\]R`� \S�R[aR_V[T�aUR�NQbYa�d\_YQ�V[�`\ZR�]_\SR``V\[NY�PN]NPVaf��Oba�RcR_faUV[T�NO\ba�aUV`�̀ U\d�PNaR_`�a\� aUR� ]bY`NaV[T� OY\O� \S� _N[Q\Z� SNPa`� 6ćR�ORP\ZR�dVaU�NTR��3_\Z�aUR�YNfR_V[T�\S�`bOaYR�and not-so-subtle allusions to pop culture and ’80s movies, to the already fully-crafted b[VcR_`R�aUNa�T_\d`��YN_TR_�dVaU�RcR_f�R]V`\QR��Rick and Morty has slowly become my life.

The show follows the skewed iterations of the main characters from Back to the Future in ?VPX�� N[�NYP\U\YVP�ZNQ�`PVR[aVà� aUNa� YVcR`� V[�UV`� QNbTUaR_´`� ON`RZR[a�� N[Q� UV`� T_N[Q`\[��Morty, as they try cope with puberty and aUR� ]_\OYRZ`�\S� P_RNaV[T� N� SbYYf�Sb[PaV\[V[T�microscopic theme park inside the body of a homeless person. Watch it if you’re a fan of Dan Harmon, creator of Community, and 7bàV[� ?\VYN[Q�� aUR� c\VPR� \S� 9RZ\[T_NO� \[�Adventure Time. @aN_a� dVaU� ±9Nd[Z\dR_�1\T�²�AUNa�\[R´`�PY\`R�a\�Zf�URN_a�

Steven Universe Rick and Morty

Strummin’ their

Stuff

Union Weekly: How did it feel to win Lovely

Jams?

Robert Turner: It was an incredible

experience. We came in with this mentality

that the odds were going to be stacked

against us because we were the only rock

band. We were the only ones with drums!

everyone else was acoustic and softer. I had

P\[»QR[PR��Oba�Zf�ON[Q�dN`�`NfV[T�aUNa�aUR�\QQ`�dR_R�NTNV[à�b`��N[Q�aUR_R�dN`�N�Y\a�\S�]R``VZVàVP� R[R_Tf� T\V[T� N_\b[Q�� `\� dUR[�dR�d\[��Va�dN`�Wbà�V[P_RQVOYR��UW: You mentioned that you were the only

rock act amongst mostly indie acts; did you

feel out of place at the show at all?

RT:� DRYY�� \S� P\b_`R� f\b� SRRY� \ba� \S� ]YNPR�ORPNb`R� f\b� àN[Q� \ba�� Oba� 6� SRYa� YVXR� 6�ORY\[TRQ� aUR_R�� 6´Z� N� Zb`VPVN[�� 6� UNcR� aUR�_VTUa�a\�]YNf�aUR_R��̀ \�6�QVQ[á�SRRY�\ba�\S�]YNPR�in that sense.

UW'� 9Ra´`� aNYX� NO\ba� f\b_� `\[T�� ±/b_VRQ�in Stones.” Was it written about anyone in

particular?

RT: Marvin wrote that song after he broke

b]�dVaU� UV`� TV_YS_VR[Q�� N[Q� UR�dN`� NO\ba� a\�pursue another girl. Then she kind of left him

in the dark before saying no. So his whole

thing was that he left something that was

good for something that he thought could

OR� ORaaR_�� Oba� N`� Va� ab_[`� \ba�� UR� R[QRQ� b]�

with nobody. So the whole song was about

having to deal with that kind of heartbreak

but moving on from it. We wanted to avoid

the typical love song with the happy ending.

We wanted to show the reality of it.

UW: What did you feel was the strong point

of your band’s performance?

RT: I felt like it was the drums. I had

personally cracked down on Andrew’s

performance over the last couple of months

ORPNb`R� Va� UNQ� ORTb[� a\� QRPYV[R�� N[Q� UR�really showed me at that show that his

performance was clean.

UW: Who was your favorite act?

RT:�5N[[NU�:\_\g��UN[Q`�Q\d[��@UR�UNQ�N�beautiful voice. We all agreed that she was

our main competition and we thought that

VS�dR�QVQ[á�dV[��Va�dN`�]_\ONOYf�T\V[T�a\�OR�her.

UW: Do you have any shows or news about

@V[TYR� /N__RY� @Ve� aUNa� f\b´Q� YVXR� a\� ÙN_R�with us?

RT:�DRYY��dR´_R�T\V[T�a\�OR�_RP\_QV[T�`\\[��so we’ll have a more professional quality

demo out by next month!April at the latest.

Which will be great because for people who

have been following us since the beginning;

they know the quality of our demos have

never been the greatest. It’s going to be really

exciting knowing that we could have radi0

caliber tracks coming out soon.

Union Weekly: So the title of your

`bOZV``V\[� dN`� ±;VP� 0NTRZNaPU�²� N[Q� 6�UNcR�a\�N`X��dUf�aUNa�aVaYR�S\_�aUR�`\[T,Adam Vargas:� @\�� Va� àN_aRQ� \ba� N`� Wbà� N�Sb[[f� ]b[�� Oba� N`� 6� àN_aRQ�d\_XV[T� \[� aUR�`\[T�N�YVaaYR�OVa��Va�Wbà�`RRZRQ�aUNa�;VP�0NTR�was his own best and worst actor. He does

aUR`R� T_RNa� »YZ`� N[Q� UR� Q\R`� aUR`R� NdSbY�U\__R[Q\b`� \[R`�� @\�� V[� N� ;VP� 0NTRZNaPU��UR´`� UV`� \d[� d\_à� R[RZf�� N[Q� aUV`� `\[T�V`� NO\ba� Y\[T�QVàN[PR� Y\cR�� `\� V[� aU\`R�`VabNaV\[`��f\b�àN_a�ORNaV[T�f\b_`RYS�b]��N[Q�

you become your own worst enemy.

UW: You really surprised a lot of people

when you decided to perform your set

without microphones. What motivated that

decision?

AV:�=N_aYf�aUR� YRcRY`��N[Q�]N_aYf�ZR�N[Q�aUR�\aUR_� ON[QZNaR� 0N_Y\� dR_R� Z\_R� b`RQ� a\�]YNfV[T�TN_NTR�Ù\d`��Z\_R�Y\�»�TVT`��@\��dR�Wbà�dN[aRQ�a\�OR�NPaVcR�N[Q�Z\cV[T�N_\b[Q�and mics would’ve restrained a lot of that.

UW: How long have you two been

performing together?

AV:� DRćR� ORR[� V[� ON[Q`� \[� N[Q� \Þ� `V[PR�S_RÙZN[� fRN_� \S� UVTU� `PU\\Y�� `\� NO\ba� `Ve�or so years. We hadn’t actually stuck with

anything though until recently when we

started working on Amateur Hour.

UW: When did Amateur Hour start?

AV: It started getting more serious last

`bZZR_��`\�N_\b[Q�aUR[��UW:�DUNa� V`� aUR� OVTTRà� V[¼bR[PR� \[� f\b_�sound?

AV: A lot of what we’ve been listening to

YNaRYf�V`�5\]�.Y\[T��dR´_R�OVT�SN[`�\S�7\fPR�:N[\_�� aUV[T`� YVXR� aUNa�� @\�� Va´`� _RNYYf� Wbà�a culmination of things that we like from

those bands that we mix into our style.

UW: My favorite part of your performance

was the enthusiasm and the energy of it all.

1\R`� aUNa� P\ZR�[Nab_NYYf� a\� f\b��\_�Q\R`� Va�take some practice?

AV:�6a�Wbà�P\ZR`�S_\Z�ORV[T�YVcR��SRRQV[T�\Þ�

the energy of the crowd. Shows are supposed

a\� OR� Sb[�� `\� � WbZ]V[T� N_\b[Q� N[Q� ORV[T�active is really freeing in a way.

UW: What’s next for Amateur Hour? Are you

d_VaV[T�Z\_R�Zb`VP��]YNfV[T�Ù\d`��N[faUV[T�like that?

AV: This song competition was actually the

Z\aVcNaV\[� dR� [RRQRQ� a\� »[VÙ� N[Q� d_VaR�`\ZRaUV[T�� `\� aUNa´`� QR»[VaRYf� T\V[T� a\�]bÙ� b`� a\dN_Q`� »[VÙV[T� aUR� \aUR_� `\[T`�we’ve been working on and doing some

recordings. We can probably get an EP out

`\\[��]_\ONOYf�[Rea�Z\[aU��/f�`]_V[T�O_RNX�we should have something.

1st Place: Single

Barrel Six

3rd Place:

Amateur Hour

We spoke with the winners of our second annual songwriting contest

Union Weekly:� ±A_VcVNY²� SRRY`� YVXR� N�deeply personal song. Was it written about

N� ]N_aVPbYN_� ]R_`\[� \_� dN`� Va� Wbà� NO\ba�romance in general?

HM: It is written about a particular

person and they know about it!it’s cute

\_� dUNaRcR_�� 6S� Va� SRRY`� cR_f� ]R_`\[NY�� Va´`�because it is. A lot of my songs are about

`]RPV»P�V[àN[PR`�\_�`]RPV»P�]R\]YR��Oba�6�a_f�to keep them applicable to the rest of life too.

So I hope it applies broadly.

UW: What did you think was the strongest

point of your performance at Lovely Jams?

HM: I don’t know. I felt really bad because I

was kind of sick and my voice doesn’t recover

cR_f�SNà�dUR[�6�TRa�`VPX��6�W\V[RQ�\[�N�dUVZ�N[Q�aUR[�6�T\a�`VPX��`\�6�dN`�NS_NVQ��6�aUV[X�Va�went over much better than I thought it did.

6�T\a�N�T_RNa�_R`]\[`R�S_\Z�RcR_f\[R��`\�aUNa�was really cool.

UW: Your vocals really stood out during your

performance and on your recordings. What

XV[Q�\S�YR``\[`�\_�a_NV[V[T�UNcR�f\b�UNQ��VS�N[f,HM'�DRYY�� 6ćR� ORR[� aNXV[T� c\VPR� YR``\[`� S\_�S\b_�fRN_`�[\d��6a�XV[Q�\S�URY]`�Zf�\d[�̀ V[TV[T��but I’m taking the lessons to sound more

PYN``VPNY�\_�`V[T�V[�N�Zb`VPNY�aURNaR_�àfYR��Wbà�because that’s not what I’m naturally inclined

a\� Q\�� `\� 6� Wbà� dN[a� a\� YRN_[� Va�� 6a� QR»[VaRYf�helps though.

UW: When did you start performing and how

long have you been performing?

HM: ;\a� cR_f� Y\[T�� 6� UNcR[á� ORR[� Q\V[T�Zb`VP� cR_f� Y\[T��[\d� aUNa� 6� aUV[X�NO\ba� Va�� 6�ZNQR� N� F\babOR� PUN[[RY�� Oba� 6� QVQ[á� X[\d�what I was going to do with the Youtube

PUN[[RY�̀ \�6�dN`�YVXR��±DRYY��6�UNcR�N�TbVaN_��̀ \�6�ZVTUa�N`�dRYY�a_f�`V[TV[T�àbÞ²!N[Q�aUNa�Wbà�XV[QN�R`PNYNaRQ��3\_�aUR�Y\[TRà�aVZR��6�QVQ[á�_RNYYf�P\[`VQR_�Zf`RYS�N�Zb`VPVN[��N[Q�6�QVQ[á�want to talk to anyone else about my music.

6´Z� Wbà� [\d� O_RNXV[T� \ba� \S� aUNa�� 6� aUV[X� 6�QVQ�Zf�»_à�\]R[�ZVP�YNà�fRN_�Na�`\ZR�]\V[a��I have not been doing this for very long; I’m

barely branching out.

UW: So what’s next for you as a musician? Are

you writing new material? Playing shows?

HM: /RPNb`R� 6´Z� \[� F\babOR�� 6´Z� XV[QN�V[c\YcRQ� V[� aUR� dU\YR� TRRX� P\ZZb[Vaf�� N[Q�there’s this whole genre of music called Wizard

Rock!6�YNbTU�RcR_f�aVZR�6�`Nf�Va��Oba�6�Y\cR�Va��6a�dN �̀Wbà�]R\]YR�d_VaV[T�̀ \[T �̀NO\ba�Harry Potter

and then it branched out into people who write

songs about Sherlock��Doctor Who��3V_R»f��Star

Trek!whatever you can think of. People write

`\[T �̀ NO\ba� NYY� aUNa� àbÞ�N[Q� 6�UNcR�d_VaaR[�N�P\b]YR� `\[T �̀ NO\ba� aUNa� àbÞ�� `\� 6� QRPVQRQ� a\�Wbà�T\�NURNQ�N[Q�d_VaR�N[�R[aV_R�NYObZ�YVXR�aUNa��6�Q\[á�X[\d��Va�Wbà�SRRY �̀YVXR�̀ abÞ�6�UNQ�a\�TRa�\ba�\S�ZR��6a´ �̀aUR�»_à�aVZR�6ćR�Wbà�QRPVQRQ�a\�d_VaR�an entire album deliberately. It’s going to be

called Something for Everyone, N[Q�6�Wbà�dN[a�a\�a\bPU�\[�NYY�aUR�OVT�[R_Q�a\]VP �̀�/ba�fRNU��aUNa´`�the next thing I’m recording.

2nd Place:

Hannah Moroz

14

Mu

sic

Interviews by Michael Wood Music Editor

Her hands were cracked like oak trees, and she typed in all caps because she was 90. She had a reason to misspell and add random characters. She was Grandma Olive, and she had a Facebook, and that was enough.

6�URY]RQ�UR_�b]Y\NQ�N�]U\a\�a\�UR_�]_\»YR��She wanted one where you could see her smile parting the skin on her face. I chose a photo of her with her round, red glasses on, sitting at her desk. When Grandpa was alive, he took the photo with shaking hands just as oaky as his wife’s. It didn’t make her sad when she remembered that Grandpa had taken the photo.

She told me that by the time she was 40, ÙR�UNQ�NO\ba�»cR� S_VR[Q`�QVR�RNPU�fRN_��/f�the time she was 70, it was 10 friends. When her best friend died, it was worse than them

all, but expected.She never stopped trying to make

friends, and she’d go to great lengths to communicate in ways that were easier for them, like adding them on Facebook. I think she made it a challenge to see how many people she could love and how many people would relent and start to love her back.

She had a self-deprecating sense of humor where she would sometimes apologize for being so blind, for misspelling words, or posting statuses too late at night. She would reply to people who liked her posts, like: HI OLIVIA ITS NICE TO SEE YOUR FACE ON MY NOTIFICATIONS. Other times she would critique TV shows, saying, WHY DO THEY HAVE TO CUT THE SCENES SO FAST?

She grew up when things were slow as mud, and it took a week to get a letter from her loved ones. She didn’t mind the pace of mud, but she liked getting quick responses via email, and she liked cell phones with big enough screens to see.

She had a crush on Ryan Seacrest after seeing him host a parade and loved sharing details about it because she knew it’d make people giggle, or at least smile. RYAN SEACREST HAS A NICE SMILE AND VOICE. I COULD WATCH HIM ALL DAY.

She loved smiles where the teeth revealed outnumbered the ones hidden in the mouth. She had a smile like that, a long, toothy smile that was slow like mud to spread across her face and as pretty as the petals on a daisy.

I always wondered if he was ever going to talk a\�ZR��2cR_f�aVZR�6´Q� Y\\X�Na�UVZ��6´Q�»[Q�UV`�TNgR�� AUR� »_à� aUV[T� 6� [\aVPRQ� dN`� aUR� aV[f�Australia-shaped mole under his jaw and how when he laughed it looked like a really weird smile upside down. His hand always found a way back to his neck, as though he had done something embarrassing. Nobody ever introduced us, but we always exchanged smiles or waves when we saw each other in class. Alex, UR´`�PNYYRQ��<[R�QNf��dR�»[NYYf�aNYXRQ�

“So, you’re coming to Liam’s thing—R__�� aUR� XVPXONPX�� N[Q� àbÞ,²� AUR_R� UR�dN`�again with his hand. This time he looked at aUR�¼\\_�»_à�� aUR[�Na�ZR(�NYY�dUVYR� _bOOV[T�his neck foolishly. I hadn’t noticed he had a Penrose triangle tattoo on his left forearm.

±6´Z� ]_Raaf� `b_R�²� 6� `NVQ�� DR� dR_R�awkward even when we had company, but I secretly enjoyed every second. Every sigh. Every whistle. Every glance.

±;VPR�aNaa\\�²±<U�� aUV`,� 5RU�� fRNU� Va´`°aUN[X`�²� 5R�

put his hands in his pockets, and we waited in silence at the bus stop. The bus came and I went in, turned around, and waved goodbye. My stomach hurt for the rest of the day.

I took a hot shower and waited for my hair to dry. While I decided what I wanted to wear, Alex’s laugh still resonated in my head. After a while I headed out to my friend’s house.

The noise was not too bad. There was no sign of Alex. I was getting bored, so I went out for a smoke. It was cold and I regretted not bringing a sweater while I rubbed my arms in the hope of making them warm.

±5R_R�� UNcR� Zf� WNPXRa�²� 5V`� c\VPR�sounded tired.

±5Rf�� AUN[X`�²� 6� `ZVYRQ� NdXdN_QYf� Na�him and tried to hide my cigarette.

±5\d�V`�Va�T\V[T,²±=_Raaf�dRYY��6�Q\[á�YVXR�]N_aVR`��aU\bTU�²�

He rubbed the back of his neck.±<U��AUR[�dUf�N_R�f\b�UR_R,²�6�`NVQ�dVaU�

an awful, high pitched voice.±6�XV[QN�dN[aRQ�a\�`RR©�F\b�²I looked at him speechless. Shivering.

Was it getting colder? My stomachache was back again. Alex leaned forward and kissed me. I don’t know how, but suddenly I was running out of my friend’s house. God knows how I got home, but there I was, unable to come back to reality. Hours passed and so did the weekend. There were a few unanswered texts on my phone. Suddenly, it was Monday again.

±DUNa� UN]]R[RQ� a\� f\b� \[� 3_VQNf,²�Emily asked.

“Sorry I had to leave so soon. My stomach Ub_a�ONQYf�²�6�N[`dR_RQ�

I still had his jacket, and it smelled like him.

‘I Could Watch Him All Day’

‘Sorry I Had to Leave So Soon’

‘I Fall in Love too Quickly’

Janna Jesson Staffer

Sam Winchester Assistant Editor

Camille Hove Staffer

15Lit

era

tu

re

Heard on

Campus

7E�CHALLENGED�WRITERS�TO�PRODUCE�lCTIONAL�BACKSTORIES�FOR�THE�MOST�COMPELLING�SNIPPETS�OF�CONVERSATION�THEY�VE�OVERHEARD�ON�CAMPUS��&ROM�THE�ABSURD�TO�THE�EVERYDAY��THESE�stories remind us of the humanity in students we pass on our way to class.

She was transient. She was orange, red and fRYY\d�Na�aUR�`NZR�aVZR��6S�»_R�P\bYQ�RZO\Qf�a soul, it would be hers. I watched as her amber cat eyes danced behind the bottle of champagne and held my breath. Then I spoke.

±DUNa´`� f\b_� UNZN_aVN,²� 6� Y\\XRQ� Q\d[�as soon as my tongue stopped working. Her voice came up to me, like a thin cloud of pearly smoke. The kind that isn’t dangerous. I looked at her, and her face was open, curious.

±DRYY�� 6� Q\[á� X[\d� VS� aUNa� »a`� dVaU� aUR�theme of the party, but I like it. You can call me b[P\[cR[aV\[NY�²�5R_�YV]`�adVaPURQ�YVXR�N�_\`R�with a bee hiding inside. I wanted to pluck her petals, one by one.

“All right unconventional. My hamartia is Zf�b[]_RQVPaNOVYVaf��DUNa´`�f\b_`,²

“Mine is being reckless with people. I fall

V[�Y\cR�a\\�^bVPXYf�²“That’s not always a bad thing. It might

P\ZR�V[�UN[Qf�`\ZRaVZR�²±DUNa´`�f\b_�YNaRà�NPa�\S�b[]_RQVPaNOVYVaf,²“Hmmm. Probably over Christmas when I

¼Rd�a\�;Rd�F\_X�dVaU�N�à_N[TR_�²The beat of a hip hop song came on and she

grabbed my arm. She turned toward the dance ¼\\_��dUVPU�dN`�]VaPUV[T�ONPX�N[Q�S\_aU�YVXR�N�ship on an unbalanced sea. Then she tugged, and my skin followed her, as she veered outside into the backyard.

“John’s mom has the best roses. You have a\�`ZRYY�aURZ�²

I nodded. I was too surprised to answer. I took a sip of my drink while she gulped the last of her champagne before throwing the glass into the pool. She wiggled her eyebrows

at me and jumped in after it. I looked back inside the house, but no one

UNQ� [\aVPRQ�� @\� 6� `YV]]RQ� \Þ� Zf� Ù\R`� N[Q�dived in after her.

“Okay, miss unpredictable, where are aU\`R� _\`R`,²� 6� a\bPURQ� UR_� SRRa� b[QR_dNaR_��Her skin was like liquid silk. I wanted to make a quilt out of her.

±<cR_�UR_R��b[P\[cR[aV\[NY�²�@UR�̀ ]YNÙRQ�me before diving down.

I followed her into the aqueous light, keeping my eyes on her hair that spiraled ORUV[Q�UR_�YVXR�N�`PU\\Y�\S�»Ù��@UR�`Na�Na�aUR�bottom of the pool and held a basket that was anchored there by stones.

She picked up a rose and held it out to me. 6S� aUV`� TV_Y� dN`� »_R�� ÙR� dN`� Ob_[V[T��

because no water could put her out.

Illustration by

Kris Schweitzer #ONTRIBUTOR

Illustration by

Claire DeWilde Staffer

Illustration by

Juan Cruz #ONTRIBUTOR

Focus on your cheese. Mmm, yes my children. It is I, the great Goudini, with your weekly regimen of soul-cleansing practices. This past weekend, I took a trip to the grocery store with the intention to, you guessed it, “Focus on my cheese.” Yes,

I think with all of the hatred and wars and bad juju going on in the cosmos, we must think back to something as simple and sweet as a block of sharp cheddar. I mean, that’s what I read in a magazine once. But going back to the cheese—I arrived at the Trader Joe’s on First and Broadway, and after picking up some spray cheese to brush my teeth, I came upon the place where I would reach true nirvana. I looked to my left and looked to my right, and, once I found that I could be alone with the cheese display, I took off my sandals

and stepped inside. My toes slipped into a package of fresh mozzarella and I seated myself on a cushy round of brie. I thought back to a time when I was watching the Grammy’s on primetime television and a Babybel cheese commercial appeared before my eyes. That laughing cow was so full of joy that I felt like I needed to change my life, quit my job at the Starbucks down the street, and adopted a mantra to teach to millions everywhere. Focus on your cheese. Focus on your cheese. Focus on your cheese. Asiago.

Hey y’all, Dijonay Jones here trying to take a second swing at life. It’s been a while since you’ve heard about any action from me, unless you’re talkin’ ’bout the action I bring on the FLO’, HAYYY!!! Anyway, that

peanut from our last movie was probably the last “spread” I’ve gotten, unless you’re talkin’ about spreadin’ them LEGS, HAYYY!!! And so I’m back now to reveal some juicy Hollywood secrets for y’all!

If y’all wondering what I’ve been doing with my time these days, well I’ve been busy perfecting my music career, dabbling in some reality shows, and starring in a few movies. Perhaps you noticed me on the last Saw movie as the voice for the saw they used to chop up that girl.

Other than that, I’ve been living

bicuriously during my spare time. That’s right, you heard me, bicurious. I’ve been swimming in the lady pond every now and then since the Gross sisters rubbed me the right way while they were stealing my lunch money. Actually, I saw it more as foreplay, if ya catch my drift, HAYYY!!! Bring ’em out, bring ’em out! It’s hard to talk when it’s all in yo’ mouth.

I forgot I was supposed to be spilling some green and chai tea with y’alls. Well, Penny is knocked up, again! It’ll be her fourth baby with Ron Stoppable! Don’t ask me how that happened. Mhhhmm! Girl, it’s a mess with Kim and that lil’ rat. Suga Mama’s trying to get on that Real Housewives show. If you ask me I would’ve married Kate and Ashley. That dumb bitch Zoe is now Miley Cyrus. Ever since she owned that dance competition, she twerkin’ up a storm. And of course, LaCienega is a part of the 405 freeway.

It has come to the attention of the Grunion Weekly that papers have been taken en masse from newsstands across campus. Entire piles of paper, 20 and 30 copies at a time, have been snatched away! And yet, while the obvious explanation is that

they’ve been stolen by an evil overlord for the nefarious purpose of enslaving humanity via paper-chain handcuffs, we at the Grunion Weekly investigated more deeply than that. We laid undercover in bushes for three long nights, watching paper stands around campus, before we caught them.

We followed the adage of keeping in pairs and decided to split up to follow the individual groups of hooligans. There

was a surprising amount of them, too. We almost lost them in a roundabout but eventually caught up. We discovered that our pages were split up by categories as well as personal preference among a highly literate group of hobos. They used the papers for two purposes: one, for the obvious warmth that one requires on these foggy, cold nights in LB, and two, for bedtime stories during the terrible 2am insomnia crisis. The pants article last week was a high topic of discussion and argumentation among the hobos, but eventually they were able to come to terms with the fact that they could stuff their own pants with the pants article, so everything worked out.

Then we followed three of the other hooligans, who still had piles of our paper, all the way to a dark alley. They

eventually led us to a large mountain of various pieces of garbage strategically stitched together to form a fort of some kind. Continuing to dash after them, we were almost close enough to touch, until they crawled into a the small, tunnel-like entrance. We tried our best to keep up, DQG�ÀQDOO\�ZH�DOO�PDGH�RXU�ZD\�LQVLGH�WKH�belly of the Garbage Mountain. Expecting it to look like a big ol’ treehouse/cave, we were shocked when we encountered quite the contrary. This tunnel had transformed into a high-tech futuristic universe of worker bee-like people, darting back and forth on bear-sized centipedes. Large computer screens occupied the barriers, and goobers stood in front of them, furiously typing away gobs of smack. Carmen Sandiego ran around the room yelling orders at all of her minions. The

snozzberries tasted like snozzberries! It all kind of reminded me of the episode of The Fairly Oddparents when Timmy has a remote control that lets him walk into the TV. Anyway, we grabbed the tail of the a giant centipede that they had jumped on, lassoed the hooligans with God Warrior’s “lasso of truth,” and got our papers back. We didn’t ask what all the computer-fairy-shit was all about, and we didn’t care.

So that concludes the tales of our escapades with the escaped papers of yesterweek. And for all you hooligans, hobos, and homie-hoppers, don’t even think about stealing our papers again this week! We will be waiting. We will mess \RX� XS�� :H� ZLOO� WDNH� RXU� FOHQFKHG� ÀVWV�and thrust them upward into the sky, and ZH�ZLOO�EUHDN�WKH�VN\�ZLWK�RXU�ÀVWV�DQG�WKH�whole sky will break into pieces.

Volume 74 Issue 6 Monday, February 24, 2014 LBUNION.COM

DISCLAIMER:Hey, God Warrior Here. My God’s not dead. He’s surely alive. He’s living on the inside. Roaring like a lion. Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silence. Send manifestos to 1212 Bell!ower Blvd Suite 239, Long Beach, CA 90815. "is page is satire/parody and does not represent ASI nor the CSULB campus. In God Warrior name, I pray, and no one listens. Submit your

Platonic dialogues via email to [email protected].

LOCAL DOUCHEBAGGIES SPOTTED STEALING PAPERS

INSIDE

by Vivacious Vee

CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER SAYS A MEAN THING; IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZES

AMERICAN COUGAR COMMUNITY SETS SIGHTS ON LOCAL BABY MINORITY

BRANDI RECEIVES BELATED NOTICE OF WHITNEY HOUSTON’S DEATH

“SEXIEST BABY ALIVE”: BABY MARRIES LIFETIME GIRLFRIEND AFTER EXITING MOTHER’S WOMB

FOCUS ON YOUR CHEESE

by Great Goudini by Dijonay Y’All

RESPONDING TO YOUR DIJON Q’S WITH A’S

Illuminating Ideas

Documents

Transcript of Illuminating Ideas