Identifying Bullying:Identifying Bullying:Kids Being Kids or Something More?Kids Being Kids or Something More?

Harrisonburg City SchoolsHarrisonburg City Schools

January 26, 2012January 26, 2012

StatisticsStatistics

The 2003 National Center for Education Statistics report on The 2003 National Center for Education Statistics report on school violence reported increases in the percentage of school violence reported increases in the percentage of students victimized by bullying in 2001 as compared to students victimized by bullying in 2001 as compared to 1999. While crime at school as a whole has declined in 1999. While crime at school as a whole has declined in recent years, bullying is one of the few problems to recent years, bullying is one of the few problems to increase in prevalence increase in prevalence

A national study found that 29.9% percent of students are A national study found that 29.9% percent of students are involved in bullying either as a bully (13.0%), a victim involved in bullying either as a bully (13.0%), a victim (10.6%) or both a bully and a victim (6.3%) (Nansel, (10.6%) or both a bully and a victim (6.3%) (Nansel, Overpeck, Pilla, Ruan, Simons-Morton, & Scheidt, 2001). Overpeck, Pilla, Ruan, Simons-Morton, & Scheidt, 2001).

The National Institute of Child Health and Human The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development estimated that 1.7 million U.S. children in Development estimated that 1.7 million U.S. children in grades 6 through 10 can be identified as bullies (Nansel et grades 6 through 10 can be identified as bullies (Nansel et al., 2001). al., 2001).

What is Bullying?What is Bullying?

What is Bullying?What is Bullying?

Bullying is when Bullying is when purposefulpurposeful acts of meanness acts of meanness are are repeatedrepeated over time in a situation where over time in a situation where there is an there is an imbalance of powerimbalance of power..

– Bullying is all about power – the essence of bullying Bullying is all about power – the essence of bullying is not in the actions of the bully, but in their is not in the actions of the bully, but in their intentions.intentions.

What is BullyingWhat is BullyingTypes of BullyingTypes of Bullying

Physical: Hitting, shoving, pushing, kicking, etc.Physical: Hitting, shoving, pushing, kicking, etc.

Emotional: Gossiping, embarrassing, threatening, Emotional: Gossiping, embarrassing, threatening, leaving someone out, spreading rumors, leaving someone out, spreading rumors, cyberbullying, etc.cyberbullying, etc.

Property: Stealing, destruction, vandalismProperty: Stealing, destruction, vandalism

Bullying MythsBullying Myths

““It’s a boy thing”It’s a boy thing”

““They’ll grow out of it”They’ll grow out of it”

““Bullying is no big deal”Bullying is no big deal”

Normal Conflict vs. BullyingNormal Conflict vs. Bullying Equal powerEqual power Happens OccasionallyHappens Occasionally AccidentalAccidental Not seriousNot serious Equal emotional reactionEqual emotional reaction Not seeking power or Not seeking power or

attentionattention Not trying to get somethingNot trying to get something Remorse – Take Remorse – Take

responsibilityresponsibility Effort to solve the problemEffort to solve the problem

Imbalance of powerImbalance of power Repeated negative actsRepeated negative acts PurposefulPurposeful Serious – threat of Serious – threat of

physical or emotional harmphysical or emotional harm Reaction from victim onlyReaction from victim only Seeking power & controlSeeking power & control Gain material things or Gain material things or

powerpower No remorse – Blames No remorse – Blames

victimvictim No effort to solve problemNo effort to solve problem

Normal Conflict vs. BullyingNormal Conflict vs. Bullying

Normal Conflict or Bullying -- You DecideNormal Conflict or Bullying -- You Decide

http://youtu.be/iXXKMehgiAk?t=1m12shttp://youtu.be/iXXKMehgiAk?t=1m12s

Normal Conflict vs. BullyingNormal Conflict vs. BullyingHow do you decide?How do you decide?

Look at the issue of power.Look at the issue of power.

Look at willingness to resolve the Look at willingness to resolve the conflict.conflict.

Ask the right questions to put the event Ask the right questions to put the event into context.into context.

Why do Children Bully?Why do Children Bully?

Common Contributing FactorsCommon Contributing Factors– No or inconsistent consequencesNo or inconsistent consequences– Observing bullying behaviorObserving bullying behavior– Victims of bullyingVictims of bullying– Developing negative self conceptDeveloping negative self concept– Negative attention and feedbackNegative attention and feedback– Trying to “fit in”Trying to “fit in”

Is My Child a Bully?Is My Child a Bully?

Watch for warning signsWatch for warning signs Some questions to ask yourself:Some questions to ask yourself:

– Has my child ever been accused of bullying at school or Has my child ever been accused of bullying at school or elsewhere?elsewhere?

– Has my child gotten into trouble for fighting with other Has my child gotten into trouble for fighting with other children?children?

– Does my child become easily frustrated when they do Does my child become easily frustrated when they do not get their way?not get their way?

– Who are my child’s friends? How do they interact with Who are my child’s friends? How do they interact with others?others?

– What does my child do with their spare time?What does my child do with their spare time?– Does my child use negative terms to describe others? Does my child use negative terms to describe others?

Do they show little concern for others in bad situations?Do they show little concern for others in bad situations?

What Can I Do?What Can I Do?

If you suspect your child is bullying others:If you suspect your child is bullying others:– Take it seriously! Take it seriously! – Talk to your child and find out why he/she is Talk to your child and find out why he/she is

bullyingbullying– Apply clear, fair, and significant negative Apply clear, fair, and significant negative

consequencesconsequences– Spend more time with your child and supervise Spend more time with your child and supervise

their activitiestheir activities

What Can I Do?What Can I Do?

Require your child apologize to the victimRequire your child apologize to the victim

Explain why bullying behavior is unacceptable and Explain why bullying behavior is unacceptable and how it affects others.how it affects others.

Teach your child that power can be experienced Teach your child that power can be experienced through doing goodthrough doing good

Share your concerns with your child’s teacher and Share your concerns with your child’s teacher and work with them to change your child’s behaviorwork with them to change your child’s behavior

Prevent BullyingPrevent Bullying

Start at home!Start at home! Teach self-control through disciplineTeach self-control through discipline Teach the “Golden Rule”Teach the “Golden Rule” Teach your child to control his/her angerTeach your child to control his/her anger Communicate zero tolerance for the Communicate zero tolerance for the

mistreatment of othersmistreatment of others Teach your child that mistreatment and Teach your child that mistreatment and

kindness are powerfulkindness are powerful

Prevent BullyingPrevent Bullying

Hold family meetings to teach empathy, Hold family meetings to teach empathy, sensitivity, and valuessensitivity, and values

Teach kids to solve problems without using Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise them when they doviolence and praise them when they do

Discuss models of acceptanceDiscuss models of acceptance Discuss bullying scenes you watch on Discuss bullying scenes you watch on

television or in moviestelevision or in movies Teach your child to say “I’m sorry”, “Please Teach your child to say “I’m sorry”, “Please

forgive me” and then be kind to the personforgive me” and then be kind to the person

Bullying

SourcesSources

Virginia Youth Violence Project - Virginia Youth Violence Project - http://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.eduhttp://youthviolence.edschool.virginia.edu

www.bullyfree.comwww.bullyfree.com National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) – National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) –

www.nasponline.orgwww.nasponline.org

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