Iain Baker - Bunny Eggs

7/27/2019 Iain Baker - Bunny Eggs

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Bunny EggsIain Baker

Published: 2010Categorie(s): Fiction, Fairy Tales, Folk Tales & Mythology, Fantasy,Short Stories, Short StoriesTag(s): Easter Bunny Eggs chocolate rabbit

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This story is dedicated to my sisters, for stealing my Easter eggs when Iwas a child.

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What have chocolate eggs got to do with Jesus on the cross?

It is a common question, that at some point in their lives everyonewith exposure to Christianity asks. Some people will go off on a wild

and dubious association between the colour of the wood and the colourof chocolate. Those more educated people will say it's all down to Paganfestivals being hijacked by Christianity, and point out the stronger link

between eggs and fertility, and will get quite forceful when you argue.The latter just goes to show how a little knowledge can be dangerous,and that even the most educated of people can be wrong.

Erin was a normal kind of girl, or as normal as a seven year old can be.She lived in a semi-detached house in Croydon, liked to wear her hair in

plaited pig-tails and lived with her Mum, Dad, and older brother Jack.On a beautiful mid-summers day Erin was on the way to the park withher mum, when she saw a home-made poster stuck to a lamp post:

Rabbit. Free to a good home.

She became obsessed, in the way only a young child can. The onlything that would make Erin happy now would be a rabbit. Not just anyrabbit, it had to be the rabbit from the poster.

Please mummy, I want the poster rabbit. Can I? Please?

Eventually Erin's mum gave in, and they drove over to the house onthe poster. It was a mid-terrace house with wooden doors painted green,although a lot of the green was flaking off. When they knocked on thedoor, a little old man came to the door, his face lighting up at the sight ofvisitors. He introduced himself as Mr Cadence. Despite his walking stick,hunched back, and clear frailty, Mr Cadence seemed surprisingly agile ashe guided the mother and daughter through the passage to his backyard, where he proudly presented the rabbit to Erin. The rabbit lookedalmost as old as it's owner, but Erin fell in love instantly, and once lovegets involved logic has no hope.

Erin sat on the floor with the grey, patchy, rabbit on her lap happilytwitching it's nose while her mum loaded the hutch into the back of thecar. As mum's go she was a relaxed one, but she could not believe she'd

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been conned into taking a rabbit and hutch. Mr Cadence creaked a littleas he knelt down beside Erin, and stroked behind the rabbits ears.

I'm going to let you into a little secret here kiddo, and you can't tell

anyone except the person you give this rabbit to

But mister I won't EVER give him away, he's mine all mine

Mr Cadence smiled a knowing smile and said This rabbit is very spe-cial. Erin nodded enthusiastically as the old man went on, His name isCuniculus and I have had him since I was about your age. I got him offan old man who told me what I am telling you, and he got it off an oldlady. You are to take very good care of Cuniculus, make sure he's safe

and looked after, because he is a very important little rabbit. The rabbityou are stroking, your new rabbit, is the Easter Bunny.

Erin sat in wide eyed amazement as her mum came back from the car,it was only when the car door shut, and the engine started, that shespoke.

Mummy, this is the Easter Bunny!

As a mother of two young children she had heard much more outland-ish claims, so just smiled at her daughters comment and drove off. OnlyCuniculus noticed the old man standing at his door as they pulled away,giving a sad wave. But that's okay, because it was only meant for him.What no-one noticed was that the old man had started to cry, he hadloved that rabbit since he was a young boy and he was going to misshim.

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Erin wasn't the first person to call Cuniculus their own, this we alreadyknow, and neither was the young Alfred Cadence. Croydon hasn't al-ways been his home either, he has lived all over Europe and one dayhopes to move to the Americas or Australasia. This rabbit has been

around for several thousand years. He was the first born son of a normalrabbit couple on an extraordinary night. It was the Spring Equinox, and a

beautiful clear sky revealed, amongst the stars, two comets streaking inopposite directions seemingly on a collision course. The comets crossedover directly above a young female rabbit in labour, and when thecomets tails formed a perfect X, Cuniculus was born. None of this wasfate, everything was pure coincidence, but it resulted in somethingspecial.

As a young rabbit in Greece, Cuniculus was just like every other littlerabbit-boy, happily hopping around and eating grass. By the time he hitwhat can loosely be termed puberty, however, he noticed just how dif-ferent he was. Around the time of his birthday he started to get painfulcramps, and spent several days in bed wanting it to just stop. When itdid stop he thought he may have preferred the cramps. The cause for thecramps was somewhat unusual for a male rabbit, because they werecaused by quite large eggs.

After laying the eggs, which was something of a surprise in itself, hewas amazed to find that they melted. The years went by, and every yearnear his birthday he got the cramps, laid the eggs, they melted. Any ofthe rabbits that found out made his life a misery, so in the end he hoppedoff to the nearest town and became a pet.

Life as a pet rabbit is good. There are no predators out to hunt you,and you get a human to stroke and love you. The first time he laid hiseggs as a pet rabbit he was really worried about how his human wouldreact, so imagine his surprise when his human nervously ate one of theeggs, then excitedly ran in to the family shouting about something calledchocolate. This was when he realised his eggs were a good thing, andthat every year he could give the humans that looked after him a gift ofthanks for their love and care. For the first time since he started layingeggs he felt good about himself, and about his annual curse. He became arabbit with confidence.

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Jack was quite jealous when Erin came home with a rabbit, he wanted apet too. The reason Jack didn't have a pet was because he wasn't verygood at looking after them. He had tried to teach his hamster to swimand that didn't go to well, then he had a fish that he tried to put it on his

old hamsters wheel which kind of worked for a bit. It's not Jacksfault of course, it's because he's a boy, and all boys are genetically de-signed to play with things until they break. Unfortunately, when an an-imal breaks a bit of glue won't stick it back together again. Mum andDad both reassured Jack that they were sure Erin would share her rabbitwith him. They did this in front of Erin in that way parents do when theyare really saying Erin, share the rabbit with your brother, but want tomake it seem like it's all Erins idea, and isn't she a big grown up girl forthinking of it all by herself?

Erin wasn't a big grown up girl, she was seven. And she didn't want toshare her rabbit, it was her rabbit, and anyway Jack will probably breakhim, and she loves him too much to let Jack hurt him. That is what Erinwas trying to tell her mum and dad when she threw the bag of rabbitfood at jacks head, and stormed off into her room crying, and shouting Iwon't, it's not fair! before slamming her door. But for some reason Jacktook it badly, and her Dad followed her to her room and shouted at her.Seriously, the life of a seven year old is so difficult sometimes.

Don't be so selfish young lady, Jack let's you borrow things of his. Ithink you owe your brother an apology, don't you?

No! Seven year old girls can be quite stubborn. And anyway, hedoesn't let me borrow his stuff, only when it's broke and you or Mummymake him.

She had a point, he had to at least concede that, but in Jacks defence,most of Jack's stuff is broken. But he was a Dad and he wasn't about to

be beaten by his youngest child, so he pulled out his all purpose am-munition and fired back with Don't answer me back Erin, I am the adultin this room and you will respect me. Now go downstairs and say sorryto your brother.

Erin slumped downstairs, walked over to Jack, whispered Sorry andquickly walked away and sat herself on the sofa. When her mum came

back into the room Erin had miraculously turned back into an angel, and

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sweetly asked Mummy, can I hold Cuniculus? I promise Jack can strokehim too!

It was very hard to resist Erin in sweet mode, and whilst trying to sup-

press a slight laugh at the cheek of her daughter, Mum went and got therabbit and placed him gently on Erins lap. It wasn't long before the fightwas forgotten and Erin was happily playing with Jack and Cuniculus.Once Jack was allowed access, it wasn't long before the poor rabbit hadan army man sat on it's back and a small plastic tank trying to run himover. To be honest he didn't mind much. He knew Erin loved him, andwhatever Jack did it probably wouldn't have been as bad as when theRomans were everywhere.

Unfortunately the summer holidays soon came to an end and Erin wasback at school, but she was always thinking of her rabbit. When theteacher welcomed everyone back, and gave them all the task of writingabout what they did in the holidays, Erin spent all her time writingabout how she got the Easter Bunny from an old man, and how she'dspent the holidays playing with him and protecting him from her big

brother. Mrs Heath was very impressed by Erins work, but did ask if shewas definitely sure that her rabbit was the Easter Bunny. Erin was insist-ent, and all her school friends asked lots of questions. The problem was,

everyone wanted to know about the Easter eggs, and Erin hadn't hadhim long enough for there to be any, so people slowly stopped believingher.

I'll show you, at Easter he will have lots of Eggs and you will all wantto be my friend again then!

Mrs Heath tried to explain that rabbits don't lay eggs, they give birthto babies, and it's birds that lay eggs. But she then struggled to explainwhy there was an Easter Bunny, and Easter Eggs, and made them allsing instead.

As the year went past Erin forgot about Cuniculus' secret. She didn'tcare if he was the Easter Bunny or not, she just cared that he was hers.She gave him carrot tops and lettuce, and played with him every day.She even get a harness from the pet shop so she could take him forwalks. Cuniculus loved going for walks. No-one had ever taken him for

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walks before, and it felt good to get out of the hutch and run every nowand again.

Over winter he moved into the house, because it was too cold outside.

He slept in Erins room, in a big cage with lots of hay in it. Every nightbefore bed Erin would tickle him behind his ears, and he would twitchhis nose at her, then they would curl up in their beds and fall asleep. Thelittle old rabbit had become more than just a pet, he was a part of thefamily - and Erins best friend. Any time she was upset she'd hold Cu-niculus and tell him everything that was on her mind. He couldn't an-swer her, but he listened intently and sniffed her face.

When Christmas came around Erin had an extra present this year; a

teddy rabbit in a santa hat, and on the label was just a paw print. In re-turn, Erin had bought Cuniculus a goody bag of treats, and he spentmost of the day happily gnawing on them. When Erin ate her lunch shewas followed to the table by the rabbit, and he sat at her feet the entiretime, occasionally nibbling at her socks, but mostly just being close toher. They had become truly inseparable. Cuniculus even risked a walk inthe snow just to stay close to Erin, but that didn't last very long beforethe cold got too much for him. He was quite relieved, therefore, whenthe weather started to turn and it started to warm up. He was having so

much fun he completely forgot that the warmth brought the cramps.

When the cramps started up Erin got worried. Her best friend washurting and she didn't know what to do. She ran up to her mum, nearlyin tears, and said Help. Come quick. There's something wrong with Cu-niculus. Both parents had been waiting for this day, he was an old rab-

bit after all, but it didn't make it any easier.

Okay sweetheart, I'm coming

Erin's mum looked at the rabbit for a short while, before saying they'dtake him to the vets. Don't worry Erin, the vets will know how to makehim feel all better. Come on.

Erin wouldn't let go of her precious rabbit and carried him to the car,held him on her lap in the waiting room, and practically fought the vetfor him in the examination room.

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Let him go honey, the nice vet lady is here to help him get better

Eventually she gave in, and let the vet look at him. He had his temper-ature taken, and got prodded and poked quite a lot, until the vet was

happy she knew what the problem was.

He's bunged up. Give him some of this medication in his food andit'll sort itself out. I'd recommend he stays outside until he's settled, itfeels like there's quite a lot inside him.

Despite what the Vet said, Erin wanted him where she could look afterhim. Would you make me go outside if I was poorly? It's not fair

When they got home, a victorious Erin carried her rabbit up to herroom and found something waiting for her on her bed. Whilst they had

been at the vets the postman had been, and there was a letter addressedto her. She was very excited to read it.

Dear Erin,You probably don't remember me, but I gave you Cuniculus last summer. I

hope you are getting on well and you're looking after him.

Erin felt a little bit guilty that maybe she hadn't looked after himenough since he'd got poorly, but carried on reading.

This letter is to let you know about something that will soon be happening toyour rabbit. Don't worry, it is nothing bad, it's something very special. As Itold you when I gave him over to you, Cuniculus is not a normal rabbit, he isthe Easter Bunny and that has side effects.

Very soon he will get tummy pains and he will seem very poorly, but don'tworry it happens every year and only lasts a few weeks. The tummy pains arebecause Easter eggs are growing inside him, and soon, just before Easter, he willlay them. There might be a lot and they aren't all for you, so when he has laidthem you need to leave his hutch undone so that he can take them around townat night.

Thank you for giving him a good home. I knew as soon as I saw you he wouldbe happy with you.

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YoursAlfred Cadence.

It took Erin a while to read the letter, and she had to read it a couple of

times to make sure she understood it all, but when she did she was veryexcited. She jumped off her bed and ran up to Cuniculus and gave him agreat big hug. He wiggled his tail, and nibbled her hair, as his way ofsaying I love you too.

Over the next couple of weeks Erin spent every evening and weekendlooking after her rabbit. She made him a nest out of a cardboard box andhay, which he happily spent most his time in. When it came time for himto lay his eggs, Erin was at school. He sat in his nest box all alone, and

one by one, what seemed like hundreds of chocolate eggs got laid. Erin'sroom was full of them.

When school had finished and she got home, Erin ran straight up tocheck on her Easter Bunny, and squealed with excitement when she sawher room with all the eggs. That night she took herself to bed, gave hermum and dad a kiss goodnight, and told them she didn't need tucking inany more.

I'm a big girl now, and big girls don't need tucking in.

Before she went to sleep Erin carefully opened her window, gave Cu-niculus a stroke behind the ear, giggled, then got into bed.

The next morning Erin woke up to find two Easter eggs in her room.One was in a big colourful box with her favourite sweets inside, the oth-er was just an egg. Slightly uneven, no pretty wrapping, but a veryproud rabbit sat beside it. She was the happiest girl in the world thatmorning. She kissed and hugged Cuniculus over and over again, andkept his egg till last. She savoured every mouthful. It was the best Easteregg she had ever had.

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She is still waiting for the right little boy or girl to claim the EasterBunny as their own, so if you're quick his next human might just beyou

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From the same author on Feedbooks

Santa PLC (2010)When the stress of running Christmas single handedly gets too

much, Santa Claus decides it's time to franchise himself.This short story follows Santa through a monumental Christmas.With the help of his wife Barbara and Head Elf, Franklin, Santamakes a big decision. Christmas will never be the same again... orat least it won't in the North Pole.

Head Elf(2010)Everyone knows about Santa Claus, but how much do you knowabout his elves? Isn't it about time the unsung hero's of Christmas

got there side told?Follow the climb of Franklin to become the North Poles Head Elf.This book is a biography of the Head Elf from Santa PLC filling inthe blanks based on reader feedback.

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www.feedbooks.comFood for the mind

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Iain Baker - Bunny Eggs

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