7/23/2019 I It Attitude

1/2

This is well illustrated in the 'you-I' and the 'i-it' attitude discussed in the book. The 'you-I' attitude

involves active listening, listening with empathy and great communication and is the cornerstone of

any effective relationship in the workplace.

On the other hand 'I-it' relationship indicates a detachment, yet according to the author it has its

own place in the workplace.

Where can 'I-it' relationship are used effectively in the workplace? Discuss

I-itAttitude

Whenever we take an 'objective' attitude toward a person, whenever we view him as part of the

world and caught in its causal chain, we are in an 'I-It' relationship, even though the object happens

to be a person. The 'I-It' relationship is characterized by the fact that it is not a genuine relationship

because it does not take place between the Iand the It.

I-It relationship is maintained with only part of ourselves in it. There is always a part of us that

remains outside the relationship and views it from some vantage point.

In the I-It situation the part of the self that remains outside the relationship cannot be injured by the

other party because he cannot reach it.

In an I-Itrelationship we interact with people in their social roles. Our conversations are superficial

and impersonal. This is the way we normally communicate with salespeople, servers in restaurants,

and clerical staff. Students on large campuses may also feel they are treated as its, and not as

persons. Most of our relationships start at the I-it level, and develop from there. Closer

relationships must move to the second level, I-You.

I-You Attitude

I-Youcommunication accounts for most of our interactions. In this type of communication, people

interact with one another as more than objects. For example, you may start talking to one of your

classmates by saying something like "Boy that was a tough exam, eh?" The other person might

respond with, "You can say that again, I studied all night and I still think I failed." And the

conversation goes on from there. In this interaction, you and the student treat each other as more

than "its." Interaction is still guided by your social role as student. Teachers and students often talk

personally, yet stay within their social roles and keep their private selves hidden. We communicate

with less depth with most people in our social circles than with those we love most. Casual friends,

work associates, and interactions with distant family members typically involve I-You communication

When we are in I-Itmode we treat other people as means to an end. In the I-Youmode,

our relationship with them becomes an end in itself.

TheI-Itattitude underlies an individualist, me-first mode, one which sees others in terms of

what you can do for me. Such a perspective starkly limits empathy to instrumentality,

attuning only enough to understand how to get what one wants.

The I-Yourelationship is total involvement of self and other in intimacy, sharing, empathy,

caring, openness, and trust.

7/23/2019 I It Attitude

2/2

The I-Itrelationship consists of self-viewing other in abstract terms, resulting in possession,

exploitation, and distrust.