I Do Not Know How Seeing

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I do not know how seeing that the beings which I love are departing

My little cat died


Either I cannot

Either I do not want

My little cat died

I regret having transported her in this clinic

This veterinary clinic on the West of the city

That evening

Because she vacillated on her legs

She was no longer able to cross her cat flapI do not know how seeing that the beings which I love are departing

Either I cannot


I regret not having left my little cat at the bottom of my bedside table

Where buried in her fur with long hair taby

She wanted to sleep peacefully to get rid of this pain which was gnawing her body


Either I cannot


I regret having chased away one last time from my office my little cat

Who came to look for the comfort of snuggling up against me

I regret having transported her in this veterinary clinic on the West of the city at night fallen

For undergoing this unnecessary blood test

And dying on this grey table in this light of vivisection

By exhaling three heartrending groans of pain and agony in a large flow of bile


Either I cannot


It is today only I realize that for several days

When she was lying full length on my thigh legs dangling

She did not purr any moreBecause doubtless she mustered all her strengths to fight against this pain which gnawed at her


Either I cannot


I regret not having left her there snuggled up at the bottom of my night table

And to have transported her

In this veterinary clinic at the end of the city at night fallen

Where on this grey and hard table she pushed these three heartrending groans of pain

Which I continue to listen at night in the depths of my heart

At least I spared her an unnecessary intubation

I do not know how seeing that the beings which I love are departingEither I cannot


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At least I spared her to this little cat whose emaciated body

Floated in her shaggy fur taby

What I realized when I stroked her

This unnecessary intubation

To allow her to rest finally in peace

With as only irreparable sign that she had left

Her eyes which of their very clear blue had turned to the black of the most black nightI do not know how seeing that the beings which I love are departing

Either I cannot


At least I'm doing some gestures which gives them a little pleasure or comfort

Like to buy watermelon to my brother

Or for my little cat all kinds of new foods

Or to wipe his mouth to remove juice that sank down on his chin

Or to present her these new foods in the palm of my hand so that she taste them

Really

Really

I thinkI think


Either I cannot


I Do Not Know How Seeing

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