1

2

I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in.She said: Cheque books.

3

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new cars.

4

What is the difference between men and pigs?Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

5

Answer : A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer

knows the judge.

What's the difference between a good lawyer

and a great lawyer?

6

“Nurse” A beautiful woman who holds your

hand for one full minute and then expects

your pulse to be

normal.

7

Q: Why is it dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

8

Q: What's the difference between a mother and a wife?

A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

9

Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?

New employee: Yes, sir.

Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

10

What's the difference between a good secretary and a nice secretary?

One says "Good morning, boss". The other says "It's morning, boss."

11

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

12

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed

to tell you why it isn’t.

13

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and

talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them

to sit down and shut-up.

14

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put

“DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

15

A bank is a place that

will lend you money, if you

can prove that you

don’t need it.

16

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

17

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

18

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I

wanted a second opinion. He said,

“Okay, you’re ugly too.”

19

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son,

I’m still paying.”

20

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry

about never happen.

21

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more

than one child.

22

The End

With Metta, Bro. Oh Teik Bin

“Laugh Heartily”

“Live Happily”