Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

UNION BUILDING TO CLOSE ? Southside bargain basement

offered b y College Editorial

T h e possible motives for agreeing to move the student

union facilities to the Southside Halls basement are not

immediately obvious to me. We should all look very closely

at these proposals and decide whether we are really getting

a "g o od deal" , as the College claims.

A t a first impression I don't think we are, although we

should all be willing to listen to arguments to the contrary.

T h e immediate advantages are: firstly, the possibility of

i n c r e a s e d s p a c e (with new fac i l i t ies ) a n d s e c o n d l y ,

improved use of the Union by Southside residents.

But the great danger is that we will end up exchanging the

current Union Building for a converted aircraft hanger (the

main refectory) and a dinghy basement. We would also be

breaking links with the tradition of many years and the

move would certainly result in great changes for those

pieces of the Union Building we retain (and possibly also

alienate former Union members).

T h e r e a r e s e v e r a l q u e s t i o n s w h i c h r e m a i n to be

answered. How can we be certain that the facilities in

Southside would be an improvement on what we have

already? Why is the College willing to spend such large

amounts of money to move us? How will the Union Building

be used and could these things be done elsewhere?

Until all these points and many others can be cleared up

completely it is perhaps unwise to discard the idea out of

h a n d . B u t I feel that we s h o u l d tread very careful ly ,

especially considering the I C U President Nick Morton

thinks it is " a cracking good idea" and may well continue

with these plans without telling us.

S o far he has taken the staggering attitude of "Nanny

knows best'' and has discussed these proposals without any

reference to student opinion. Now that the plans are

known, we should be given all the details and be allowed to

make the decision for ourselves.

A surprise plan to move the Student Union to the basement of

the Southside Halls of Residence was revealed by ICU

President Mr Nick Morton last Friday. The plan would involve

abandoning the current Union Building for use by the College

and could cost in excess of £250,000.

Col lege Secretary M r J o h n S m i t h suggested the idea to the President

in M a r c h a n d it was only last week tht the first plans were completed

by the Estates Department . F o r this reason M r M o r t o n decided not to

inform I C U C o u n c i l unt i l M o n d a y or include the plans in Exec News

for last Tuesday 's A G M .

T h e proposals are, at present, in the very early stages of preparat ion

and w o u l d need to be generally approved before any large amount of

money was commit ted to further investigation. J o h n S m i t h told

F E L I X that there was no intent ion of " p u l l i n g o f fa c o u p " a n d that the

idea had only been revealed to assess the level of support.

M r S m i t h commented that he h a d been concerned w i t h the lack of

use of the lower three levels of Southside, following the closure of most

of the Refectory facilities there. T h i s , he said, had prompted the idea of

m a k i n g Southside a " f o ca l point of student a c t i v i t y " .

B y m o v i n g the U n i o n to the Southside basement there w o u l d be

what he ca l led " t h e added advantage" of h a v i n g space avai lable i n

Beit Q u a d . M r S m i t h suggested three possible uses for the current

U n i o n b u i l d i n g . F irs t ly the top floor cou ld be easily converted for extra

student accommodat ion . Secondly he admit ted that the Col lege has

been under pressure from the L i fe Sciences D i v i s i o n to expand their

f a c i l i t i e s . T h e U n i v e r s i t y G r a n t s C o m m i t t e e ( U G C ) h a v e a lso

instructed the Col lege to increase the L i f e Sciences intake a n d this

Continued on page 3.

Above: the current plan for the ground floor of Southside which now to hue removed for the club area (left) and the refectory and kitchens

contains the empty main refectory which was described by Mr Mooney partitioned for the sports facilities (right). The other main floor is shown

as "an aircraft hanger". The staircase by the main entrance would have on page 3.

Tfo616 Friday, May 281982 Free!

Dear Mark

A s usual, there are a whole

bunch of points in the last

issue of F E L I X which deserve

comment, but the pompous

r a m b l i n g s o f t h a t s e l f -

opinionated ass M o r t o n really

c l inch it. H e obviously appre­

c i a t e s t h a t i n f o r m a t i o n is

p o w e r , a n d a p p e a r s to be

c l i n g i n g t i g h t l y to b o t h -

c o m e o n D a d d y N i c h o l a s ,

what is M o r t o n ' s Mystery?

W i t h his total lack of action,

and his neglecting to inform

us of plans to close the U n i o n

r e f e c t o r y a n d w a s t e m o r e

money on the L o w e r Lounge ,

it's hardly surpris ing there's

such disinterest in the U n i o n .

There is precious little to be

interested in .

O u r illustrious President's

report is chock-a-block wi th

the wonderful things he has

done for us. I would just like

to add that the high-sounding

threeway negotiation over the

games machines involved a

s i n g l e p h o n e - c a l l , w h e n I

carried out the same task for

T i z a r d H a l l two years ago. O f

course it's quite possible that

the U n i o n bureaucracy could

make this twice as c ompl i ­

cated as necessary, as they do

w i t h t h e c l u b t r a n s p o r t

subsidies.

I 'm glad to hear M a r c o had

such a lovely time in Sweden,

and of course an international

viewpoint an d perspective is

i m p o r t a n t a n d u s e f u l to

everyone. Unfortunately , if

the rest of us only get to learn

that there were discussions on

" technica l development wi th

s p e c i f i c r e f e r e n c e t o . . . t h e

effects on society both positive

and negative" , perhaps the

£ 2 0 0 w a s not w e l l - s p e n t .

S o m e spec i f i c i n f o r m a t i o n

wou ld be a better justification

for the tr ip than the news that

M a r c o made a load of pals

and didn ' t want to come back

to L o n d o n .

F i n a l l y , I appreciate that

w i t h t h e p e r i l o f e x a m s

approaching, first years are

incl ined to let their minds

wander to the meaning o f l i le ,

as their past experiences Hash

before their eyes. Next time

some bor ing muddled bttrk

like T i m Larcombe writes a

logically incoherent soapbox

article, I wou ld neverthless be

grateful if you would just Hush

it d o w n t h e a p p r o p r i a t e

receptacle.

Thanks lor a year's interest­

i n g reading.

] 'ours

Jell ' Fowler

Dear Mark

I was fascinated by your

insight into N i c k Morton ' s

depth of knowledge of student

opinions expressed in your

e d i t o r i a l l a s t w e e k . Y o u

omitted to mention his es­

capades invo lv ing residence.

H e h i m s e l f a d m i t s ( in his

annual report) that he has

made himself unpopular on

this subject, a comment which

is more true than many that

he has made. O u r illustrious

President's major folly in this

area has been the affair of the

l inen service. H e started out

wi th a supposedly wonderful

i d e a t h a t he c o u l d s a v e

students a lot of money by

scrapping this useful feature

of H a l l life. H e commissioned

a costing of it, which ind i ­

cated that students pay about

£1 per week to have their

sheets and pillowcases washed,

ironed and delivered to their

room. A h a ! H e could save al l

the poor students about £ 3 0

per year! But what could one

r e p l a c e the s e r v i c e w i t h ?

Another M o r t o n brainstorm

occurs (not unlike a thunder­

storm only much more dan­

gerous) — a 'central ' laundry

facility could be introduced in

the basement ol G a r d e n H a l l ,

equipped with the machines

from all the Ha l l s ' laundries.

N o w G a r d e n H a l l has many

fewer residents than either

Southside or L instead , so I

can only conclude that this is

a new use of the word 'central '

that I had not previously been

aware of.

T h e last I heard, there had

been no costing of the new

laundry , which w i l l certainly

be v e r y e x p e n s i v e , or any

i n d i c a t i o n o f w h e r e t h e

capita l w i l l come from. W h e n

a s k e d a b o u t p a y m e n t o l

r u n n i n g c o s t s ( c u r r e n t l y

subsidised from H a l l funds),

N i c k " p r o p o s e d c h a r g i n g

' ' s e m i - c o m m e r c i a l " rates ,

"sav 50p per w a s h " instead ol

2()p. O n e should also note

that if students have to wash

sheets as wel l , it is l ikely to

take two loads coasting £\;

the savings to students are

beginning to d iminish . O t h e r

supposed advantages of the

proposed scheme include the

w a y t h a t S o u t h s i d e a n d

Linstead residents w i l l have to

walk across the gardens to do

their washing and that there

w i l l be no security, so people

w i l l have to sit and watch

their washing, rather than

returning to their rooms to

work, etc.

Mor ton ' s folly must have

other points to commend it,

like the subtle aroma which

w i l l c o m e f r o m r o o m s o l

students who can't be both­

ered to wash their sheets, and

of course the m i n i m a l amount

ol each student's money easily

outweighs the extra incon­

venience and time wasted;

doesn't it? T h e wi thdrawal of

the l inen service is apparently

dependent upon the provision

of the new laundry; however,

k n o w i n g h o w fast E s t a t e s

work, I very much doubt that

this could be achieved before

the end of September.

The most interesting aspect

of the whole affair is Nick ' s

concern about student opin­

ions. H e was t o t a l l y n o n ­

plussed by a petition from

nearly a third of the residents

of Southside asking for the

present service to be retained,

because M o r t o n knows better

than the students he purports

to serve.

Jeremy Nunns

Dear Mark

We note that from F E L I X

G15 that certain sexual frus­

trations have become appar­

ent in Weeks H a l l . W e also

note with pleasure that you

have reported the speed with

which the U n i o n is rectifying

this situation by provision of

b r o t h e l f a c i l i t i e s i n t h e

Southside Bar.

T h e U n i o n has been active­

ly investigating sex in this

College. Indeed, the H o n o r ­

ary Secretary has only recently

returned from a highly success­

ful fact-f inding tour of Sweden.

T h e success of his research is

clearly demonstrated by his

complete lack of energy since

arr iv ing back in Eng land . W c

w i l l probably ask P W P lo

carry out a further in-depth

analysis ol the affair before we

disband them (bilaterally!) .

C lear ly , we must act quickly

to eradicate sexual deviancy

amongst I C students. This

reached new heights when

activities invo lv ing three post­

graduates, a bunk-bed and an

oversized micrometer led to

the collapse of a floor at 14

Montpe l i e r Street.

F ina l l y , there is no truth in

the r u m o u r that a s p e c i a l

Spor t s D a y m e d a l w i l l be

awarded for sexual prowess at

the A G M to J . M a r t i n T a y l o r

(or was it M a r t i n S. Taylor?) .

Bilaterally yours

N i c k and Christ ine

PS : W e are not against sex in

principle .

Sir

It is with increasing dismay

that I read in your columns

the thoughts of those who

seem to belittle the contr ibu­

tion to College life made by

that most e m i n e n t a m o n g

y o u r c o r r c s p o n d e n t s , D r

F r a n k J a m e s . T h e y sure ly

cannot realise that D r James'

writings are those of the most

consistently perceptive and

informed persons currently in

College.

In my first year D r James

got the new term off to a

splendid start by describing in

F E L I X those i n v o l v e d in

constituent college unions as

" l a t e n t h o m o s e x u a l b e e r -

s w i l l i n g l o u t s " , a c r i t i c i s m

that was at the time whol ly

justified, and which has since

h a d a c o n s i d e r a b l e effect.

This is the man that we are

really here considering, one

who is genuinely more con­

cerned for the welfare of his

chosen College than his own

p o p u l a r i t y o r s a b b a t i c a l

credibi l i ty . In the same year

D r James, in his indisputed

r o l e as t h e c l o s e s t t h i n g

Continued on pa«e 4.

Page 2 FELIX, May 28, 1982

The Southside Plan

u t i

T message i" • J

1

J I 1 Above: the proposed look of the level, above the Southside Bar.

Continued from front page.

would necessitate an expansion of first year laboratory facilities.

F i n a l l y , a n d perhaps most s ignif icantly , he feels that there is a

probable use ol some areas as a "post experience centre ' ' . T h i s facil ity

wou ld consist of a n u m b e r of smal l conference rooms (and fairly

l u x u r i o u s a c c o m m o d a t i o n ) w h i c h w o u l d be h i r e d out to senior

managers in i n d u s t r y a t t e n d i n g short courses to i m p r o v e t h e i r

knowledge a n d use of modern technology.

M r S m i t h assured F E L I X that the present U n i o n B a r a n d L o w e r

L o u n g e w o u l d remain as student areas (and perhaps even some other

parts of the bui ld ing) . W h e n asked about possible sources of finance in

the face of the current economi^ s i tuat ion he felt that a n opt imist ic

approach was needed a n d thought that il the idea was given a p p r o v a l

the Col lege cou ld find the money necessary.

T h e move w o u l d take place over a two year per iod beg inn ing in. J u l y

1983 at the earliest, a n d w o u l d hence need to be inc luded in the

Col lege budget for 1983/4. T h i s w o u l d mean that the student u n i o n

w o u l d have to show considerable interest before next O c to ber a n d l

w o u l d need to a p p r o v e more d e t a i l e d p lans by J a n u a r y 1983.

M o n d a y ' s I C U C o u n c i l instructed the Execut ive to investigate the

matter further and the summer months w i l l undoubtab ly prove v i t a l as

further details emerge.

It seems l ikely that a Co l lege -wide ballot may be ca l led for as a

measure ol" approva l .

Sick Bay takes students to

the cleaners I C U C o u n c i l mandated future U n i o n Executives to "discuss further on

the proposed move to .Southside and report h a c k " (to C o u n c i l ) at a

meeting last M o n d a y .

A l t h o u g h the major i ty of C o u n c i l d i d not share N i c k M o r t o n ' s

enthusiasm lor the proposed move (see front page), they requested

more detai led proposals before m a k i n g a final decision.

S i m i l a r motions were also passed on the future financing of the

H e a l t h Centre sickbay and a central l aundry faci l i ty avai lab le to a l l

students. H o w e v e r , it was pointed out that i n the event of I C students

hav ing to make a compulsory £\0 payment for the s ickbay, R o y a l

Col lege of M u s i c students, who also use the s ickbay, w o u l d be required

to pay also.

T h e meet ing approved the conversion of the U n i o n L o w e r L o u n g e

into a refectory-type area w i t h bar and the conversion should be.

completed d u r i n g the summer. Most of the work w i l l be financed by

Col lege a l though the U n i o n w i l l have to pay for the modi f i cat ion of the

current k i t chen to the Ents R o o m .

M i s s Chr i s t ine T e l l e r was also ratif ied as ac t ing Deputy President

and the add i t i on of her name to the D P H o n o u r s B o a r d a n d Pot

authorised.

T h e meet ing remained quorate u n t i l it was closed, thus a l l o w i n g

matters from as l ong ago as 1980 lo be noted.

3-2-1

Quorum! Q u o r u m was successfully c h a l ­

l e n g e d i m m e d i a t e l y a l t e r the

U n i o n A n n u a l G e n e r a l M e e t i n g

opened last Tuesday.

H o w e v e r the c rowd of over 100

remained to see President N i c k

M o r t o n a w a r d U n i o n G e n e r a l

A w a r d s . These are the highest

awards the U n i o n can make and

are given at the discretion of the

President. U G A s were presented

to M r A r t h u r L o v c d a y (who is

ret i r ing as groundsman at the

H a r l i n g t o n sports ground after

twenty years service), L a w r e n ce

W i n d l e y , M a r c o L e d w o l d , M a r k

S m i t h , C h r i s t i n e T e l l e r a n d N i c k

Nfprton .

Soc ia l a n d A t h l e t i c Co lours

were also awarded alter approva l

hv I C C o u n c i l .

£23.00 £24.00 (4.3%)

23.00 23.00 (0%)

21.00 22.00 (4.8%)

20.00 20.80 (4.0%)

17.00 17.50 (2.9%)

17.50 17.50 (0%)

15.50 16.00 (3.2%)

11.50 12.00 (4.3%)

More rent increases T h e fo l l owing recommendat ions for next year's rent levels w i l l be put

to the Rec to r from Student Residence C o m m i t t e e .

Rooms Currently Weekly Rent Proposed rent for 1982/3

Singles in Weeks, Linstead, Southside

Singles in Montpelier

Singles in New Beit

Singles in O l d Beit, Garden, Evelyn Gdns

Doubles in Linstead

Doubles in Montpelier

Doubles in Beit. Garden, Evelyn Gdns

Triples in Garden, Evelyn Gdns

T h e fo l l owing points should be noted:

1. £13,000 expenditure on b u i l d i n g insurance has been transferred

f rom the Col lege central account to the Student Residence A c c o u n t .

2. R e d e c o r a t i o n a n d r e f u r n i s h m e n t p r o g r a m m e s h a v e b e e n

reinstated after severe cutbacks due to financial problems this year.

3. T h e Wardens entertainments a l lowance is to be reinstated.

4. A l l o w i n g for extra expenditure in points 1-3, the increase in rents

for 1982/3 has been held to a reasonable level . T h i s has been possible

thanks to savings on the l inen service a n d h e a t i n g a n d probable

stabi l isation of interest rates.

A few other matters of interest were discussed at Students Residence

C o m m i t t e e :

A . A l t h o u g h S R C w i l l continue wi th its o w n plans to upgrade

laundry facilities in H a l l s and Houses, the Col lege central ly is l ook ing

into the provis ion of a central c o m m u n a l l aundry lor a l l . T h e U n i o n

President w i l l pursue this matter.

B. A vo luntary l inen hire scheme w i l l be r u n in the H a l l s a n d

Houses next year. F o u r sheets a n d four pillowcases m a y be h ired by

students at a rate of £A per a n n u m w i t h a £\0 deposit.

C . T h e residents of M o n t p e l i e r Street are to he g iven a rebate of one

week's rent for inconvenience caused by work on the dry rot. T h i s work

may cont inue u n t i l m i d - A u g u s t a n d includes exploratory work to

check other t imbers are not infected. T h e p lanned p r o g r a m m e of work

has been agreed w i t h the residents themselves.

D . Rents for H e a d Tenancies for 1982/3 have not been finally

negotiated w i t h the landlords .

E . Negot iat ions for a new H e a d T e n a n c y w i t h 140 places are i n

progress at present.

F . D r D o n M o n r o is re t i r ing a n d is not to be replaced. H e w i l l

r emain C h a i r m a n of the Students Residence C o m m i t t e e lor 1982/3 .

Mick Morton

FELIX, May 28, 1982 Page 3

Continued from page 2.

Imper ia l has got to an arts

student, again la id his reputa-

t i o n o n t h e l i n e l o r t h e

Univers i ty Chal lenge team.

It is ' to be r e g r e t t e d t h a t

c l on ing was not then widely

avai lable lor we would have

been assured of victory.

It is true that in his time at

Imper ia l D r James has rested

u n e a s i l y o n a n u m b e r o f

pol i t ical water l i l l ics, but he

has never been slow to leap

when he fell that his many

talents could liest be employed

elsewhere.

What could motivate me to

write so unashamedly of the

virtues ol D r James? Certa in ly

we once took sherry on the

beach at St L u c a r de B a r r a -

meidos together, but is is not

out of mere personal friend­

ship that I write. N o , since

t h a t t i m e t h e p a t h o f a

humble engineering student

has not included that most

excellent ivory tower that is

the Department ol History of

S c i e n c e a n d T e c h n o l o g y .

Surely this is the key to the

great enigma that surrounds

D r James, that whilst engi­

neering students mav come

a n d go the sp i r i t a n d the

person ol D r Frank James

continue to grace our most

honoured college.

) ours faithfully

N a m e supplied, but withheld

on request.

Dear Sir

W i t h r e f e r e n c e to l a s t

w e e k ' s f r o n t p a g e a r t i c l e

concerning certain activities

that Weeks H a l l residents w i l l

no longer be able to pursue in

j a r i v a t e . I f y o u a n d y o u r

various hirsute cronies would

refrain from pursuing these

self-same activities in publ ic it

would leave both your hands

f ree to c o l l e c t i n t e r e s t i n g

material to supplement the

banal t r iv ia F E L I X normal ly

contains.

1 ours etc

A n d r e w L y a l l

i

Dear Mark

It is far too easy for old

windbags like R . S . Alexander

and M . Foot to rant and rave

about the cost involved in

launch ing the Task Force and

how else the money might

h a v e b e e n s p e n t . B u t the

argument in this issue is moral

a n d not m o n e t a r i s t . I f we

w e r e , as R . S . A l e x a n d e r

s u g g e s t s , t o r e w a r d t h e

A r g e n t i n i a n aggress ion by

h a n d i n g o v e r the I s l a n d s

without a light then where

w i l l it e n d ? W h e r e n e x t :

G ibra l tar ? Belize.

T h e rest of the wor ld is

looking to Br i ta in to set an

example and put the aggres­

s o r f i r m l y i n h i s p l a c e .

A l r i g h t , maybe the Islands

are one of the last embar­

rassing outposts of E m p i r e hid

remember this, these people

are British citizens and we

cannot and must not desert

them in their hour of need.

R . S . Alexander points out the

j u n t a ' s r e c o r d o n h u m a n

rights—surely this is reason

enough for going to the aid of

our people?

T h e r e is no c o m p a r i s o n

between our mil i tary action

and that of Argent ina . W e are

act ing in self-defence and we

have the backing of the U N ,

t h e E E C a n d t h e U S A .

However , since a l l the diplo ­

matic efforts have failed it is

inevitable that lives w i l l be

lost. But then that's war.

W h e n the l ight ing rcallys

starts there w i l l be no room

lor the Bennitcs among us

tel l ing us not to k i l l the Argies

because they certainly won't

be showing us any mercy.

Y o u don't like the sound of it,

do you M r Alexander? W e l l ,

i f you don't like being British

then why don't you bugger oil

to Argent ina and join Leopo ld

in his bunker? Perhaps then

vou ' l l realise that he's not the

nice guy you thought he was.

Tours patriotically

D u n c a n R e i d

Dear Mark

Perusing through F E L I X

last week I i n a d v e r t e n t l y

stumbled across a piece of

moronic diatribe by somebody

called R . S . Alexander . N o w ,

while I don't want to ru in the

poor chap's wonderful article

on the Falk land ' s Cris is , I

should just like to point out to

h i m a few home truths.

First ly the Falklands are

Br i t i sh . Does he know what

that means? It means that

they are of the same blood as

thee and me (and presumably

him). D i d his blood not boil

when he heard that a few

thousand uniformed Gauchos

had stomped rudely into their

life, their thoroughly Brit ish

life, and had ordered them to

get out or act like an Argen ­

tinian? A blatant attempt had

been made by the "pawns in

t h e p o w e r s t r a t e g y o f a

contemptible fascist regime"

(as he put it) to totally convert

the l i f e s t y l e o f the h a r d y

islanders on this anachronistic

r e m n a n t o f bygone B r i t i s h

i m p e r i a l i s m — b o t h phrases

straight from his wel l -worn

c o p y o f the " L i t t l e B o y s

Bedside Book of Bennisms for

Beginners" no doubt.

Secondly our government

are not wasting exaggerated

sums of money on this venture.

There happens to be a con­

siderable amount of what is

called "contingency money"

available which was set aside

lor just this purpose donkey's

years ago.

T h i r d l y I d o n ' t c a l l s ix

weeks of laborious diplomatic-

pursuit of peace " i n t r a n s i ­

g e n c e " . M a y b e o l d R . S .

would have liked to have seen

overwhelming apathy about

the affair. I suppose that way

nobody would be kil led. But,

let's fact it, if the average

Brit ish trooper was told now

t h a t the g o v e r n m e n t was

br ing ing h i m home because it

was c o n c e r n e d a b o u t h is

safety, thanks would be the

last thing he would proffer. I

t h i n k t h a t " e m o t i o n l e s s

zombies" (oh, most pictorial

R . S . . most pictorial) in the

government happen to have

the backbone to realise that

B r i t i s h peop le — a n d i n t e r ­

national law don't forget—

are worth fighting for. Yes,

and dv ing for. It's called guts.

R . S .

F o u r t h l y . I d o n ' t r e a l l y

think anybody can describe

the role of the Task Force as a

mere " n a t i o n a l e x e r c i s e " .

T h e retaking of South Georgia

without loss of life and the

land ing of Brit ish troops on

the Falklands recently were

both deeds of sheer profes­

sionalism; enough to make

any Brit ish chest swell with

pride.

Fi fthly (and I must admit

rather pettily) R . S . is wrong

to say that the government's

course of action "puts them in

a comparable league as the

Argent in ian j u n t a " ; on two

counts . O n e , because he's

wr i t ing tripe again and two,

because one normal ly com­

pares things ' w i t h ' or ' two'

rather than 'as'. M i n d you,

t r a n s l a t i n g B e n n i t e d r i v e l

isn't easy.

Last ly , let me remind him

of that splendid mother who

appeared on T V with a brave

lace just 24 hours alter her son

h a d been k i l l e d o n H M S

Sheflield and urged Br i t ian to

back the Falklanders. Prats

like ' R . S . I can't remember

my department or year A l e x ­

ander' can gripe and w imp

a w a y a l l t h e y l i k e . T h e

Falklanders won't want to

know.

1 'ours sincerely

S i m o n Pettit

Life Sci 1

Mr

In reply to R . S . Alexander 's

a n t i - g o v e r n m e n t , a n t i -

F a l k l a n d Is lands a n d p r o -

Argentine letter ol last week

( F E L I X 6 1 5 ) , I note the

following:

T h e Falklands were invaded

a n d o c c u p i e d about seven

weeks ago. T h e U n i t e d N a ­

tions passed Resolution 502

which told the Argentines to

get out. This was ignored.

A r t i c l e 51 o f the U n i t e d

Nations Char ter allows for

sel f -defence w h e n i n v a d e d ,

which is why the Task Force

was sent.

R . S . Alexander prefers a

"sensible and peaceful solu­

t i o n " probably r u n n ing along

the lines of the Task Force

withdrawing , the Falklands

being ceded to the Argentines

and the wishes of the Islanders

being ignored totally (com­

monly known as sell-out). H e

also suggests that the Islanders

"should be given the chance

of e v a c u a t i o n " w h i c h w i l l

probably end up as lorceable

Page 4 FELIX, May 28, 1982

eviction. I do not know where

R . S . Alexander lives but I a m

sure he w i l l be quite happy to

o b l i g e w h e n the Z a m b i a n

A r m y move in , erect their flag

and have h i m and his family

evacuated wi th the loss of

their home and possessions as

he suggests. A f t e r a l l , the

Zambians are " the rightful

owners" (tribesmen camped

there 3 2 7 B C ) . H e fails to

realise that a sell-out on the

Falklands w i l l give licence to

S p a i n i n v a d i n g G i b r a l t e r

(after the W o r l d C u p ! ) , C u b a

invading the C a y m a n Islands,

Guatemala invading Belize

a n d F r a n c e i n v a d i n g the

Channe l Islands and Isle ol

Wight . A l l of these are under

British soveriegnity and wish

to r e m a i n so, as do t h e

F a l k l a n d Islanders. But then,

the wishes of the residents are

quite irrelevant according to

R . S . Alexander .

I also note several rabid

anti-government paragraphs.

But when the alternatives to

this government arc Foot and

Bcnn — the flower pot men,

or wishy washy Woy Jenkins,

then Margaret Thatcher is

infinitely preferable.

F i n a l l y , most I m p e r i a l

College students are far more

intelligent than R . S . A l e x ­

ander makes out. They pro­

bably saw through a l l the

propaganda in his letter as I

d id .

} ours

P a u l H o l t

Physics 2

P S : S i n c e t h i s l e t t e r was

written about 5,000 troops

from the Task Force have

established a bridgehead on

the F a l k l a n d Islands and are

in the process o f l ibcrat ion . In

the world now there is great

danger of a nasty outbreak ol

respect for Br i ta in .

c

u | f

e c u o u -c

a -

^ 2 r J 1

C

a.

So o

\ o § a

h u > £. — ° J2 S E g " _e O

JC fladio

Hello , good morning and welcome; there, that's got the corny bit over

for this week, now down to business. You 've probably noticed by now,

despite Argentina's best efforts to provide alternative entertainment,

that IC is beset by an annual disease called examitis. It is characterised

by students blowing dust off their textbooks, exhuming problem sheets

and asking one another where the library is. A tonic which can bring

partial relief is available free to residents of Southside and Linstead, and

even some people in Bernard Sunley House: the remarkable properties

of IC Radio include the relaxation of your brain cell(s) and even calming

your stomach after a hastily-consumed moonie (I would say "eaten", but

that would imply that food was imbibed). Y e s , IC Radio continues

through the crisis period with the Breakfast Show every Monday ,

Wednesday and Fr iday , and programmes to make your revision a little

bit easier each weekday evening, starting at 6:00pm; and, of course,

lunchtime programmes to the J C R on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

be

c

a, s

Community

Due to the Bank Holiday, next

meeting will be on Tuesday, June

1, 12:30pm, Rag Committee R m .

Soup Runs as usual. If you need

a change from revision: helpers

are n e e d e d for he lp at A c t o n

Y o u t h C l u b on Saturdays, espe­

cially Saturday, June 5.

PG Group

T h e p a p e r s for the p o s t s of

chairman, treasurer and secretary

of the P G G r o u p go u p t h i s

F r i d a y , M a y 28 , in the U n i o n

Lower Lounge.

The P G G r o u p A G M will be on

Monday , June 14, at 1:00pm in the

U n i o n Senior C o m m o n Room,

w h e r e the e l e c t i o n s for these

posts and those of social secretary

and welfare officer will take place.

D o u g Armstrong

Model Aircraft

T h e M o d e l A i r c r a f t C l u b is

organising a tour of France for ten

days from July 24 to August 2. W e

plan to visit a lot of slope soaring

sites, stun the locals with our

wonderous flying ability, acquire

absurd froggy accents and gener­

ally live off the fat of the land a bit.

There are a couple of vacant

seats in the van so if you like the

s o u n d of t h i s w h e e z e p l e a s e

contact me. I know there are lots

of people in College who fly model

airplaines only during the holidays

a n d there fore have not j o i n e d

I C M A C . If you are one of these

and you would like to come we

could easily join you up. It would

also be an ideal way for a novice to

learn to fly even if you don't have

your own equipment. The club

has just bought a new radio and

we h a v e a s u i t a b l e g l i d e r for

training.

The cost of transport for the

trip will be about £50 each.

If you are interested in this (or

just want to come flying at the

weekend) please contact: N i c k

G r e e n , Botany P G (Rm 406), Int

2 0 3 3 , h o m e 9 6 9 - 2 5 1 1 ; I a n

Shepherd, Comput ing 3, home

868-5391.

Snooker

W o w ! I t ' s a s n o o k e r a r t i c l e ,

remember them? Not a lot has

happened, just the odd item of

mindless vandalism to our lights,

we hope the culprits have multiple

pneumothoraxes. The cue-tipping

situation is not helped by people

m i s t r e a t i n g the c u e s . W e are

losing our best. Apologies to all

decent honest members.

Right, moans over, onto brighter

subjects. G & G will play Simpkin

and Calvert in the doubles final if

they can find them. White won his

first round match in the billiards,

a n d H o l t p r o p o s e d a v o t e of

thanks at the committee handover

meeting, which we all seconded.

Chaplaincy

Barrel O r g a n A i d s Chr is t ian A i d

Every year groups of students

take to the streets in the first week

of M a y to follow the barrel organ

which is stricken with an annual

attack of wanderlust in Chr is t ian

A i d Week. This year our nomadic

friend has been heard in venues

f r o m the N a t i o n a l T h e a t r e to

Portobello M ar k e t , from Chiswick

High Street to Piccadilly C i r c u s ,

and in further widening his (her?)

experience has joined the soup

r u n , t r a v e r s e d the H u n g e r f o r d

Bridge at high speed, and visited

the Leicester Square "Superloo" .

S u c h a V I P is bound to attract

a t t e n t i o n f r o m the p u b l i c ; his

innards were nearly brought up on

t w o o c c a s i o n s b y t h e s a m e

busker; he was offered a recording

contract by a deranged gentleman

from 'Radio Recording Services '

and in the latter part of the week

he was accompanied by a large

g o r i l l a w h o was c o n t r a c t e d to

approach small children with a

c o l l e c t i n g t i n . T h e m a j o r i t y of

children decided it couldn't be a

real gorilla because it was too fat

and had spots. A great deal of fun

was had by all, including I hope,

the people who contributed £860

to Christ ian A i d on the street and

through the envelope collection in

Halls.

Steve Parr

M a r i k a Hanbury Tenison, Robson B o o k s

- Georganne Downes, Otherwise Press

Bookshop News

W e have a limited number of the complete Dover Science

catalogues for anyone interested in their publications. These are

free from the Bookshop Manager.

A slow but steady response from lecturers re Recommended

Reading Lists for next term. Don't forget: If you want a list, ask at

the Bookshop. W e must have the information to stock the books.

New Titles

Magimix Cookery -

£7.95.

Alternative London

£3.50.

Little Big - J o h n Crowley , Gol lancz £5.95.

Even Greater Operatic Disasters - Hugh Vickers , N o r m a n &

M c B h o u s e £3.95.

Letters From A Fainthearted Feminist - Jill Tweedie, Robson

Books £5.95.

The Summer Before The Frost - Jea-Yves Pote l , Pluto Press

£3.95.

British Government and it's Discontents - Smith & Polsby, Basic

Books £7.95.

The Club Secretary's Guide - Hestia Q u i n n , David & Charles

£3.95.

Book of First Aid - Blandford, £1.95.

Book of Riding - Blandford £1.95.

Book of Salads - Blandford £1.95.

Trade Wind - M M Kaye , Penguin £1.95.

Bloomers - Al len & U n w i n £1.50.

London Round the Clock - Cana l Publications £3.50.

Rising Sons - Robert Levine, Fontana £1.95.

The House Names Book - Joyce Miles , Allen & U n w i n £1.50.

The Tigris Expedition - Thor Heyerdahl , Allen & U n w i n £2.95.

Cuisine Gourmande - Michel Guerard , PaperMac £4.95.

Nouvelle Cuisine - J & P Troisgros, PaperMac £4.95.

Cuisine of the Sun - Roger Verge, PaperMac £4.95.

Lead Title

Prisoner Without a Name, Cell without a Number

Timerman, Penguin £1.75.

Jacobo

FELIX, May 28, 1982 Page 5

Missing Cert AA Directed by Costa-Gavras Now showing Empire 2, ABC Fulham Rd.

O n September 16, 1973, at the height of the

military coup which overthrew the government

of D r Salvador Al lende in C h i l e , A m e r i c a n

w r i t e r C h a r l e s H o r m a n ( J o h n S h e a ) d i s -

appaared from his home in Santiago. This is

undisputed fact.

The film traces the events following the

arrival of his father E d m u n d H o r m a n (Jack

L e m m o n ) i n S a n t i a g o t o i n v e s t i g a t e the

disappearnce. It culminates in the revelation

that the A m e r i c a n government was implicated

in the overthrow of the Chi lean government

and the subsequent disappearance of Char les

H o r m a n because he knew too m u c h . This is

presented as fact, but is hotly disputed by the

U S State Department .

E d m u n d H o r m a n sued Henry Kissinger and

numerous other top U S officials but to no

avail.

The film was clandestinely filmed in M e x i c o

C i t y , looking not unlike Santiago, with startling

realism. Ch i l ean troops were shown every bit

as menacing as when this writer had the good

fortune to find himself in Santiago i n more

stable times last year. Th i s , coupled with

L e m m o n ' s brilliant performance a? E d m u n d

H o r m a n , showing h im to be a man of deep

d e t e r m i n a t i o n , a n d a s u p p o r t e r o f t h e

" A m e r i c a n W a y " whose great confidence in

government officials fades rapidly as he begins

to see through their glossy, compassionate

facade, makes Missing one of the best serious

films this year. It was Amer i ca ' s entry to the

C a n n e s F i l m Festival which must be a blow to

the U S S t a t e D e p a r t m e n t , w h o i n t h e i r

determined efforts to find the truth , have

p r o d u c e d a t h r e e page d e n i a l of e v e n t s

portrayed in the film in order that the public

may be correct ly informed.

It is deliberate that I have not said if Char les

H o r m a n was eventually found or not. If you

don't already k n o w the whole story then it is

better to avoid other reviews and to see the

film, as I. d id , experiencing the same sense of

uncertainty that E d m u n d H o r m a n and his

daughter - in - law (Sissy S p a c e k ) must have

gone through in their search for Char les in the

face of total adversity. Th i s , together with the

remarkable real ism, is the backbone of this

excellent film.

S. Marshall (Our Man in Chile.)

B R I T A N N I A HOSPITAL

Britannia Hospital Certificate AA Directed by Lindsay Anderson Starring Leonard Rossiter, Graham Crowden, Malcolm McDowell Now showing ABC Shaftesbury Avenue, Fulham Road.

Britannia Hospital is in trouble. Pickets stop

all but the most urgent admissions and the

Unions halt c ooked breakfasts to the private

w i n g . H o s p i t a l a d m i n i s t r a t o r M r P o t t e r

(Leonard Rossiter) has to prepare for a royal

visitor, under instruction from a dwarf and a

t r a n s v e s t i t e , a n d a m a n i a c a l p r o f e s s o r

prepares to reveal his ultimate creation to the

world .

These are some of the scanty elements

which go to produce Lindsay Anderson 's latest

black comedy, which makes an odd trilogy out

of // and O Lucky Man. Having seen these

f i l m s y o u w o u l d e x p e c t a s t r a n g e a n d

h u m o r o u s l o o k at B r i t i s h l i fe f r o m t h e

ins ide—you certainly won't be disappointed.

A n d e r s o n d r a w s m a n y c h a r a c t e r s (and

actors) from his previous two films including

M i c k Travis (the rebel schoolboy from If and

ambitious coffee salesman from 0 Lucky Man)

played by M a l c o l m M c D o w e l l and Professor

Mil lar ( G r a h a m Crowden) who develops as a

brilliantly funny mam character. The Millar

Centre is due to be opened by " H R H " so the

professor, like a modern Frankenste in , pushes

back the frontiers of science with scant regard

for human feelings to please his royal guest.

The film has many targets: the trade unions,

modern technology, royalty, the police force,

a n d t h e m e d i a — i n f a c t , m o s t B r i t i s h

institutions. It is for this reason that quite a stir

was caused when it was chosen as one of

Britain's entries in the Cannes F i lm Festival .

The sick jokes and dark humour may not

make it popular with the establishment, but it

displays all the qualities of Brit ish humour at its

best: cutting, introspective and well performed.

A l though the film is episodic (which makes it

almost impossible to advertise well) continuity

is just about maintained as it races towards a

moving c l imax.

B y its very nature this is a film which will

divide the audience and the critics. But you

shouldn't really miss the chance to see what is

undoubtably a major Br i t ish comedy.

Mark Smith

*76eatne

Ed (Jack Lemmon) and Beth (Sissy Spacek) look up in a stadium filled with political prisoners and

think they see Charles.

The Execution by Melissa Murray. Presented by Monstrous Regiment and directed by Sue Dunderdale. Institute of Contemporary Arts, The Mall.

The Execution, a play in the style Of a

political, historical epic, follows the true story

of the w o m e n b e h i n d the k i l l i n g of T s a r

A l e x a n d e r II, H o l y F a t h e r of A l l R u s s i a .

A lexander II came to the throne in 1855 and

proclaimed a programme of social reforms,

relaxation of censorship, improvements in the

e d u c a t i o n a l s y s t e m , t r i a l b y j u r y a n d

emancipation of the serfs. But the promised

'revolution from above' failed to materialise.

D u r i n g these times, higher education was

v i r t u a l l y u n o b t a i n a b l e f o r w o m e n i n s i d e

Russia. Those who could afford to, and who

could escape their families, went to universities

in France , G e r m a n y and Switzer land, where

they also gained a grounding in political theory

and philosophy, much of it from the writings of

emigre Russ ian revolutionaries.

The play follows the lives of a small group of

w o m e n f r o m the t ime of a n ed i c t w h i c h

ordered the return of all women students to

Russia on the grounds that they were leading

d i s s o l u t e a n d i m m o r a l l i ves . T h e w o m e n

returned, not merely in obedience to the Tsar ,

but to begin their active political lives. They

began by merging with the c o m m o n folk,

a d o p t i n g p e a s a n t c l o t h e s a n d l i v i n g a n d

working in the countryside. T h e government

interpreted the movement as an attempted

revolution and had most of them arrested.

However they were soon freed and lost no

Page 6

time in persuing more clandestine political

activity. M o r e repressive measures followed

w h i c h a t t e m p t e d to c o n t a i n the g r o w i n g

activity. A feeling of frustration and impatience

led the group to consider taking the life of the

Tsar . The group split over this question but a

section succeeded in 1881 at their eighth

attempt to kill the Tsar . Six of the group were

later executed.

A l though an entertaining piece of narrative

drama, the play's pace is furious. O n e has to

hang onto one's seat very tightly as one is

whisked past the various moral and political

questions of revolutionary activity which the

play purports to examine. One has no time to

reflect on these issues and other interesting

facets of pre-revolution Russia such as the

incongruity of r i ch , intellectual rev. iu'.ionaries

attempting to mingle w ' . l . the peasants, the

squeezing out of "be Russia: ; G o d from the

progressive idv.°r- rtussia's lack of an identity

o r a c o m m o n p e o p l e a n d i t s c u l t u r a l

dependence on the West.

The Execution is a c o n t r i b u t i o n to the

f e m i n i s t " W o m e n L i v e " e v e n t s t h a t are

currently taking place and its subject matter

o b v i o u s l y m a k e s a g o o d c h o i c e w i t h i ts

portrayal of exemplary, determined young

women intent on constructing a more just and

humane society. However this is not the play's

strongest message, and although it is the sort

of play that induces different responses or

impressions in members of the audience, its

lasting impression was of the sad sight of

intelligent and calculating individuals resorting

to d e s p e r a t e a l m o s t m a d efforts t h r o u g h

frustration and impatience in not seeing the

f ru i t s of t h e i r l a b o u r s . R e v o l u t i o n s don ' t

happen overnight and the characters required

of revolutionaries who desire to usher in a

m o r e c i v i l i s e d s o c i e t y a f ter d e c a d e s or

centuries of habit and conditioning is one of

almost super-human patience.

Nick Bedding

IC C h o i r m e m b e r s ' p e r s i s t e n c e in se l l ing

tickets resulted in quite a good audience for

their performance of Bach 's St. J o h n Passion

on M a y 21, but pressure of exams or fear of

Pigotts (a weekend in the country to learn the

work) had reduced the size of the choir itself

considerably from that which performed the

Verdi Requiem before Easter.

Both choir and orchestra made a firm start

on the opening chorus. The altos immediately

made it obvious that they lacked both the clear

tone of the sopranos and the courage of the

tenors who, despite numbering only 10 (less

than half the a l to p o p u l a t i o n ) , s a n g w i t h

conviction and worked hard to balance ihe

larger numbers of sopranos and basses. The

soprano tone did deteriorate somewhat in the

second half when one or two voices, audible

above the rest of the choir, became rather

screeching — notably at the shouts o f 'Cruc i fy

H i m ' . The basses were as reliable as ever but

lacked some weight in the lower register.

In general the choir sang the chorales well

with a controlled balanced sound. The more

v i g o r o u s c h o r u s e s w e r e a t t a c k e d w i t h

competence although those requiring more

agile voices were marred by a great surge of

relief in the closing bars.

The orchestra showed some disagreement

amongst the strings as to which ascending

scale should begin one particular aria but

produced some lovely woodwind solos. A fine

continuo was played on harpsichord cello and

organ.

The most outstanding solo performance was

g iven by P e n e l o p e W a l k e r ( c o n t r a l t o ) in

Tennis

Kings College vs IC

'Chains of Bondage' beautifully accompanied

by an oboe duet. During the bass aria 'Haste

poor souls' it was debatable whether it was the

soloist Will iam Schimmel , or the choir who

was performing at short notice — the choir 's

intermittent ' O h where?' sounding like mass

heavy b r e a t h i n g . U n f o r t u n a t e l y the t e n o r

soloist Lawrence Dale obviously thought that

the conductor Eric Brown knew the answer to

' A h my soul, what end awaiteth thee?' as he

d i r e c t e d the who le of this a r i a (and his

s u b s e q u e n t so los ) t o w a r d s h i m . A c l e a r

expressive recitative was sung by Andrew

King as the Evangelist. Christus was sung by

J o n a t h a n Bes t a n d the s o p r a n o so lo by

Jennifer Adams.

GMR

A c o n c e r t g i r e n by the Imperial College

Symphony Orchestra in the Great Hall,

Imperial College. May 19, 1982.

Y o u r reviewer, after getting back from a

particularly shattering day. was sitting quietly

waiting for the concert to begin when a very

beautiful red headed timpanist bounced up to

ask if I could review the concert for F E L I X ;

never having been known to refuse a lady

anything 1 agreed.

The conceit began with Berlioz 's Roman

Carniva l Overture which is a highly complex

ballet than quick bowl ing , and croquet is not

t h a t e n e r g e t i c . O K , so y o u f l u k e d two

crickets but this was a l imi ted overs game and

you cannot bowl three long hops an over

down the leg side. Y o u blew it. Y o u lost IC

the game. I agree Bussey was also hit al l

a round the park but you must take most ol

the responsibil ity yourself. Don ' t take it to

heart, B i l l o ld man . Croquet can be t h r i l l i n g ,

you k n o w . "

H i m n r r s skulked into a corner where he

found Bussey reflecting on being hit for six

over long-off' and Whi te contemplat ing how

he once enjoyed a game of cricket. But that

piece of orchestration and is well suited to the

ta lents of I C S O w h o gave it a s p l e n d i d

rendering. The piano concerto no. 23 K488 by

Mozar t followed next and illustrates further, if

such illustration was required, the value of

music making in this College as it allows

talented musicians an opportunity to display

their virtuosity which they might not otherwise

have. The musician in this case was Damian

Wisniewski who gave a superb rendering of

the concerto both in delicacy in playing and in

his sensitive interpretation. This latter was in a

very romantic mode and shows that one does

not have to r e t u r n to ' how it must have

sounded to Mozar t ' in order to produce a

beautiful effect. It only requires for it to be

played with sympathy and understanding for

s u c h a n effect to be p r o d u c e d . M y on ly

adverse cr i t i c ism of this piece was that the

w o o d w i n d p l a y e r s s o m e t i m e s let the s ide

down.

Tchaikovsky 's 4th Symphony provided a full

outlet for the energetic conducting style of

Richard Dickins (dressed in a white dinner

jacket). H e controlled the orchestra through

s o m e v e r y d i f f i cu l t p i e ces e s p e c i a l l y the

pizzicato. Special reference must be made to

the b r a s s s e c t i o n a n d the t r u m p e t s in

p a r t i c u l a r w h o p l a y e d e x a c t l y what was

required; can there be higher praise?

Altogether it was a most enjoyable evening

and I left feeling a lot less shattered than when I

arrived.

Frank James

H a v i n g a r r i v e d at E n f i e l d T C , in D a v e

G l a d m a n ' s custom converted excort, the I C

t e a m a n d the S t e v e W i l l i s a p j i r e c i a t i o n

society had to squeeze back inside as their

courts were too wet to play on. There was a

change of venue which obviously disturbed

the I C side. G l a d m a n and M . Shepherd

seemed to regard the first match as a w a r m -

up and lost 6-0, 6-3 whereas W i l l i s and P h i l

(not shot) Shepherd managed to take their

match to three sets, but lost 2-1.

In the s e c o n d m a t c h e s S h e p h e r d a n d

G l a d m a n turned on the form and won 7-6, 4-

6, 6-1. However , the other match was left

unfinished at one set each 6-6. in pour ing

r a i n , h o w l i n g w i n d and darkness at 9:30pm.

Specia l ment ion to M . Shepherd's hairless

but shapely legs which gave h i m extra speed

o w i n g to reduced w i n d resistance.

Cricket

Enfield Chase vs IC H i m n e r s was desperate for advice alter this

match and a wise o ld cricketer offered h i m

the fol lowing:

" W e l l B i l l , i l I were you. I wou ld take up

croquet. I mean they do play that sort of

th ing in Z i m b a b w e where you come from,

don't they? A l t e r watch ing you bowl today, I

really feel it is not wor th your while c a r r y i n g

on. A l t e r a l l . vour bodv is built more lor

was three years ago and he hasn't smiled

since.

Inc idental ly , we were thrashed. A l l the

front l ine batsmen failed again , led by a

stylish golden duck from S i m p k i n . This really

is becoming a habit of his. W e s lumped lo 66

for 6 before M o r t o n (45, and Bussey 21 no

made the score respectable. O u r 40 over*

were completed wi th us on 143 for 8.

A n d then H i m n e r s bowled and you can

guess the rest. K i n g s won by six wickets wi th

many overs to spare. Fol low the advice of-a

wise o ld cricketer. B i l l — take up (roquet!

Rock's Revenge

Athletics O n M a y 19 U L U held an athletics meeting

at M o t s p u r Park . U L men versus R o y a l

N a v y ; A r m y ; K e n t a n d T h a m e s V a l l e y

Harr iers . U L women versus the R o y a l N a v y .

T h e I C contingent was comprised of Roger

F l y n n a n d K a r e n B a r n e t t . B o t h w e r e

spr int ing in the 100m ' B ' string. P r i o r to the

meeting, rumours had been c i r c u l a t i ng that

the N a v y ' s team were for some reason lack ing

i n s t r e n g t h . T h i s c l a i m w a s f u r t h e r

substantiated when K a r e n won the 100m ' B '

and Roger came second in the men's 100m

' B ' , later r u n n i n g a leg i n the men's 400m

medley relay. Inc idental ly , U L U M e n and

women won the meeting.

FELIX. May 28, 1982 Page 7

The Southside Plan The news of Nick Morton's great mystery leaked last Friday after F E L I X had been distributed. I'm a little surprised, not to say annoyed, that Morton should take such a clandestine approach to what is probably the most important decision the Union has had to make since its formation. He made no effort to inform the Union of what he and College Secretary John Smith have been discussing until it was too late. If he had revealed the plans in Exec News last Friday (which he certainly should have) then perhaps we would have had a packed A G M with people who were willing to give their opinions on the scheme. As it is, we have to trust that Nick Morton knows what he's doing and that College won't take advantage of the way he has failed to find out what people think, whilst he personally is all for the idea.

There is no reason for a great panic or over-reaction to what is, after all, only a very tentative idea. But we shouldn't be lulled into trusting the Union or College leadership and everybody should try to make their opinion clear. As soon as more definite plans are available they should be published and some

sort of ballot, perhaps including Union Life Members, should take place.

The whole thing could, of course, fall through if the money is not available, if academic- departments object strongly (for financial reasons) or if students generally disagree with the move. We cannot rely on

either of the former, and the latter is certainly the most important factor to be considered at present.

Airing Dirty Linen Several fairly important matters have been overshadowed by The Southside Plan. It has been decided that the linen service in Halls of Residence is to be dropped. There is some disagreement about the consequences of such a move and the possible savings for students.

The main reasons for agreeing to drop the service was to save money and create a large, central laundry for use by all IC students.

Well I doubt whether it will save much money except if you don't wash the sheets at all. At present it costs about £1 a week to have clean linen delivered to your door. If you w a s h e d y o u r sheets every week an d considered the amount of time, effort and inconvenience this causes, then it would easily be valued at over £1.

Secondly the Hall Wardens are divided over increased laundry facilities. They seem to want a large laundry, but for use by Hall residents only. Some Wardens disagree with the idea completely and the indespensible Senior Warden Don Monro cooked up the whole thing in the first place.

It seems very pointless to me and may be yet another false economy.

FELIX Rally A l l is not dead at Imperial College! The fabulous F E L I X Rally will take place on Sunday, June 20 with clues set by Scara-

mouche and myself about various places in London.

The idea of the rally is to spend a timed period on a treasure hunt around Central L o n d o n with a set of c lues and map references. Teams of up to four may take part and pairs on motorcycles are allowed. Points are collected for items of treasure and clues solved, and the winners will have their names engraved on the FELIX Rally pot. If you are interested in entering please contact the FELIX Office and we'll give you more details.

Credits Thanks to Peter, David, Dave, N . , Nick, Steve, Jez, Paul, all the collators, Maz and Ian.

S u b w a r d e n of W e e k s H a l l

The position of Subwarden of Weeks Hall will be

available from October 1982. The post provides

rent-free accommodation in a small flat in return

for light but cont inuous duties assist ing the

Warden mainly in running some amenities and

act ing as Secre tary to the H a l l C o m m i t t e e .

Weeks Hall is a small Hall by College standards,

housing 50 male and 16 female students all in single

rooms, but as the donation of Vickers Ltd to a high

standard of amenities and opened in 1959. There

are, however, structural problems and special

regulations have to be observed to ensure the

safety of residents.

Applications are invited from responsible post­

graduate students, research assistants, or young

members of academic staff who expect to be able

to serve for either two or three years. It is unusual

for undergraduates to hold subwardenships but

not impossible. Please apply in writing by June 11

1982 to the Warden, Dr D M Munro, giving full

details of qualifications and experience. A short list

of applicants for interview will be prepared on the

basis of these letters of application.

If you take a rectangle divided into unit squares, and tile it with two-square dominoes, most of the grid lines of the rectangle will have one or more dominoes lying across them. If there is a grid line with no dominoes crossing it (so the rectangle can be separated into two smaller rectangles) we say the rectangle has a fault, in the same way that we refer to a geological fault between layers of rock.

The first diagram shows a fault in a 5x6 rectangle, the second shows a fault-free tiling of the same area. For this week's puzzle, I want a fault-free tiling of a 6x8 rectangle.

Solutions, comments, criticisms to me at the

FEUX Office, please. £5 (donated by Mend-a-

Bike) for the best solution received by

Wednesday, 1:00pm.

Last Week's Solution 17 seems to be the minimum number, and of the three who found valid solutions. C .N. Goh, Elec Eng 3, was selected as a winner (again!).

What's On

Friday, May 28 •Soup Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.

Tuesday, June 1 •Wine Tasting society meeting, 6:00pm, Union SCR.

Tasting a variety of interesting wines, this is the last

meeting of the year.

•Dancing club, mixed ability class, 7:30pm, JCR.

•Soup Run, 10:30pm, Falmouth Kitchen.

Thursday, June 3 •Turn It O n Again (last of three programmes), 1:00 and

6:00pm, JCR, Southside TV Lounge, Beit, Linstead,

Weeks and Garden Halls. A browse through the STOIC

archives, featuring material recorded over the last

academic year.

•Summer Singing, 5:45pm, Music Rm, 53 Prince's

Gate. Vivaldi's 'Gloria' and Mendelssohn's 'Elijah' will be

sung purely for fun. Everyone welcome.

W a r d e n

Rayle igh H o u s e

This post is suitable for a married postgraduate

expecting to remain at IC for a further two years.

Application forms from Union Office. Closing

date for applications 5:00pm, June 1.

Further information is available from present

Warden, Mike Hudson, Int 4095, (eves) 589-1329.

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince

Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (589-5111 ext 1048 int 2881) Copyright FELIX 1982. Editor: M A Smith, Advertising Manager: S M Gibtin.

S o c i a l C o l o u r s 1 9 8 1 / 8 2

Executive Nick Morton , I C U President

Marco Ledwold, I C U H o n Secretary

Andy Rushton, President C & G U

General

J im Cross , Estates

Jim Savoy, Estates

Bill Troy, Bookings

Mike MacCormack , B B C Open Door

Val Hi l l , B B C Open Door

Tony Haines, Health Centre

Pat Kilshaw, Health Centre

Bob Schroter, Refec Cttee Chairman

Geoff Chappell , Estates

Hector Cameron-Clark, Estates

Jen Hardy-Smith (RA), Union

Administrator

Pat Baker (RA), Union Typist

Joanna Hewanicka, Union

Receptionist

Roy Hicks , Bookshop Manager

Harry Magray, Southside Bar

Manager

Selina Pelham, Domestic Section

Arthur Loveday, Harlington

Marjory Loveday, Harlington

Sue Jacobs, College Asst Sec

Don Clark , Estates

J . Mart in Taylor, Consoc , E A O

Nick Watmough, Rag Conference

Dave Rowe, A P Editor

Jonqthan Barnett. Welfare

Kevan Reeve, A C C Chairman

Gordon Masterton, Univ Challenge

Alun Griffiths, Univ Challenge

Martin S. Taylor, Univ Challenge

Tim Pigden, Univ Challenge

Zigmunt t o g i n s k i , Univ Challenge

Douglas Armstrong, P G Chairman

Mike Prosser, Pub Board Chairman

Sean Coyle , I C C A G Chairman

Stephen Goulder, S C C Chairman

Christine Teller, S C A B Chairman

Ronan McDona ld , Rag Chairman

Mike Booty, A A O

Nick Pyne, Welfare Officer

Chris Jones, R C C Chairman

Gordon Quartey, O S C Chairman

Nick Lambrou, Open Door, O S C

Tony Smith, Siiwood Pk Chairman

Robyn Morgan, P W P Chairman

Mark Smith, F E L I X Editor

Pete Stevens, Nightline Director

Professor Laithwaite, Wellsoc

Gary Turner, Student Manager, 6

Earls Court Square

R C C

David Marshall , Wine Tasting

M i c k Bul l , H a m Soc

Julian C o o c h , H a m Soc

T i m Clark , Canoe, R C C Vice

Chairman

T i m Panton, Micro Club

Jane Scanlon, Balloon Club

Andy Walker, Balloon Club

John White, Snooker Club

Chris Jennings, Snooker Club

Andy Gunnaway, Snooker Club

Chris Tr ipp, Snooker Club

J o n Marangos, R C C H o n Sec

Scarlette Gray , Wine Tasting

T i m Wright, Chess Club

T i m Knott , Balloon Club

A C C

Lesley Horrocks , Vice Chairman

Gi l l Butler, H o n Sec

Phil Niccolls, Asst H o n Sec

Andre Mitchell , Jun Treasurer

Jane Hillier, Womens Sports Rep

Mary Harrington, Transport Officer

Hugh MacGill ivary

O S C

N K Chung, Chinese Society

Nick Poon, Chinese Society

Audrey Boon , Chinese Society

P K Shiu, Chinese Society

Charles Ng , Chinese Society

Efthimakis Papapostolou, Hellenic

Society

Sakis Prassus, Hellenic Soc

Andreas Demopoulos, Hellenic Soc

Dimitri Papakonstanibinou, Hellenic

Society

S C Kler, India Society

N Mistry, India Society

S C A B

Martin Abraham, I C S O , Chamber

Orchestra

Mary Jolliffe, I C S O , Opsoc

David Burgess (Prof), I C S O Scratch

Col in Cooper, Dramsoc, C N D

Iain Coucher, Dramsoc

Chris Barton, Dramsoc

Matthew Tonks, Dramsoc

Vivienne Cook S C A B , I C S O

Roger Middlebrook, Opsoc

Dermot McLawley, Debsoc

Fiona Sinclair, Opsoc, Dramsoc

Stuart McDonald , Film Soc

I C C A G

Paul Sunderland, Secretary

Brian Cross , Transport Officer

Alan Cook, Treasurer

Rebecca May, Publicity Officer

P G Group

David Wood , Welfare Officer

Bob Rollins, Social Sec

Pub Board

David Childs, S T O I C

Tracy Poole, S T O I C

Michael Harbourne, S T O I C

Nick Bleech, IC Radio

Steve Hartwell, IC Radio

Phil Layton, IC Radio

Nigel Graham, Senior Treasurer

Lawrence Windley, Hon Sec, S T O I C

Chairman

Peter Rodgers, F E L I X

Rag

John McCul l ion , H J T

Terry Everett

Dr Dave Hardwick, Senior Treasurer

Phil Greenstreet, R C S U V P

Gaynor Lewis, R S M V P

S C C

John Hughes, Pimlico Connection

Dr Sinclair Goodlad, Pimlico C o n n

Nigel Rennie, S C C , I C U Christian

Union

Pallab Ghosh , S C C , Wellsoc

Robert Kelsey, W L C , Soc Soc,

C N D , Anti-Apartheid

William Cortazzi , Consoc

Mrs Laura Barnar, S D S

Chris Wilshaw, Industrial Society

Graeme Shaw, W L C , Soc Soc,

C N D , Anti-Apartheid

Irfan Anmad, Islamic Soc

A C Bird, W L C

Jonathan Miller, Jewish Soc

Steve Readings, W L C , S C C , Int

Week of Human Rights

P. Wagle, Catholic Society

Chris Webb, C o n Soc

C o l o u r s C o m m i t t e e r e c o m m e n d e d the a w a r d i n g of H o n o r a r y L i f e Membership to: Pat Baker Tony Haines Pat Kilshaw Carrie Craig

Athlet ics C o l o u r s 1981/82

Association Football

Ful l Colours '

P Niccolls (EO)

S Ward (RA)

K Reeve (RA)

G Rickard (RA)

R Wiggins

D Dean

M Carr

Half Colours

M Curwan (RA)

S Rimmer

A Page

S Dunhill

A Williams

D Elsby

J Lay

D Griffiths

Badminton

Full Colours

I Bull (EO)

G Adamson

P Smith

S Ridd

H K Wong (RA)

B Ions (RA)

Half Colours

L Horrocks (RA)

A La i (RA)

A Mitchell (RA)

N Campbell

C Muffet

S Willis

L Y a p

Basketball

Full Colours

T Kakas (EO)

J Pooley

Half Colours

M Talbut

Boardsailing

Full Colours

A Grimshaw (EO)

N Ajderian

Half Colours

C Liles

Boat

Full Colours

J Urry (EO)

T Joslin

J Park

Half Colours

M Pritchard

T Luker

C r o s s C o u n t r y

Full Colours

P Hoodsworth (EO)

T Asteraides

Half Colours

R Weston

J Frost

A Britton

C Walton

Fencing

Full Colours

P Bird (EO)

M Spottiswoods

J Buckley

G Bartlett

P Baines

Half Colours

Golf

Full Colours

N Windsor (EO)

Half Colours

A Black

M Doddington

Ladies Hockey

Full Colours

C Brown (EO)

Hal) Colours

A Wall

S Malbard

K Barnett

R Mason

Hockey

Full Colours

S Gray (EO)

B Franklin

A Stroomer

J F Clarke (EO)

T A Coastesworth (RA)

Half Colours

C Jones

R Slatter

A Whitehead

T Mitchell

A Rao

G Ayers (RA)

S Bell (RA)

L Hancox

Judo

Full Colours

M P Johnson (EO)

A Kellagher

K Stevenson

Half Colours

G Shields

C Weedon

T Stockings

Karate

Full Colours

S Carey (EO)

Half Colours

K Toary

P Barry

B Walker

Kung Fu

Full Colours C Earle (EO)

Half Colours

C Doyle

G Harris

Rifle and Pistol

Full Colours

D Sleath (EO)

N Lindsay

G Smith

A Jolleys

Half Colours

T Briers (RA)

K Parmar

T Higgs

S Considine

Ladies Rugby

Full Colours

M Harrington (EO)

Rugby

Full Colours

A Warby (EO)

W King

J Austin

G Fazakerley

Half Colours

A Davies

G Pike

S Bell

P Verity

S Thompson

Sailing

Full Colours

G Butler (EO)

G Kennedy

P Mills

Half Colours

M Younghusband (RA)

J Redman (RA)

J Bennet

F, Tostevin

G Dalton

Ski

Full Colours

K Palmer (EO)

Half Colours

W Steen

Sporting Motor Cycle

Full Colours

B Haye (EO)

Squash

Full Colours

J Pelton (EO)

J Spinks

R Jefferies

Half Colours

L Daneshmend

P Robinson

Swimming

Full Colours

B Ashwin (EO)

J Boucher

R Leach

Half Colours

M Casini

C Garton

M Burnett

Table Tennis

Full Colours

C Nicolaides (EO)

Half Colours

N Grimwood

J Blount

P Wilson

Ten Pin Bowling

Full Colours

R C o o k (EO)

A McMil lon (RA)

W Man

M Hamson

Half Colours

M Smith

C Wells

Trampoline

Full Colours

K Hanson (EO)

Volleyball

Full Colours

P Walker (EO)

P Ronge

A Green

Half Colours

P Dias-Lalcaca

M Lam

Weights

Full Colours

P Richards (EO)

J Davies

Yacht

Full Colours

J S Manning (EO)

P Adams (RA)

Half Colours

P Mills

P Caiger-Smith

IMPERIAL C O L L E G E U N I O N PRINCE C O N S O R T R O A D , S O U T H K E N S I N G T O N

L O N D O N SW7 2BB

LIFE M E M B E R S H I P

Y o u are eligible to become a Life Member of the Imperial College Union if:

(a) Y o u have been a Full Member of the Union for at least one complete academic year,

or (b) Y o u have been a research assistant and a member of the Senior C o m m o n Room for at least one

complete academic year,

or (c) Y o u are a member of the academic staff.

or (d) Y o u are a member of the administrative staff and are qualified to degree status (such an

application to be subject to the approval of Council) ,

or (e) Y o u have been a member of the College staff for a period of not less than five years (such an

application to be subject to the approval of Council) .

A Life Member is allowed to use all the facilities and amenities provided by the Union, with the exception

that they shall not participate in the government or representation of the Union in any capacity or to vote in

or take any part in any election of officers or committee members of the Union in any capacity. A Life

Member shall have speaking rights at General Meetings of the Union and, at the discretion of the Chairman

of the Committee, at any other Union Committee.

The facilities are the use of all the student common room areas in the Union, Sherfield Building and

Southside; the Billiards and Snooker and Table Tennis rooms, and to join Union clubs and societies. At no

time shall a Life Member be eligible for any form of subsidy from the Union or its clubs and societies.

The College also allows Life Members to use the Sports Centre and the bars and refectories. It should be

noted that Life Members bringing guests into the Union Bar must sign them in. Such guests shall be

restricted to two per Life Member. The Lyon Playfair Library and departmental libraries may be used for

reference only. Books may be borrowed from the Haldane Library (if living within the Greater London

area).

F E E S

For section (a)

(i) The subscription is £12.00 for ex-students at any time after completion of at least three academic years.

(ii) For those who do not complete three academic years the subscription is £15.00.

For sections (b). (c). (d). and (e) the subscription is £25.00.

J A N U A R Y 1982

FILL IN THIS P A G E IN B L O C K CAPITALS

N A M E IN F U L L

P E R M A N E N T A D D R E S S .

I wish to become a Life Member of Imperial College Union (fill in section a, b, c, d, or e).

* * * • * • * * • * • * * * * * * * * • * * * * * • * • * • * • • * • * * * • * • + *

Present address '

(a)

I was a student from to

in the department of

(b)

I was a research assistant, and a member of the Senior C o m m o n Room .

in the department of

<c)

I am a member of the academic staff, appointed to the post of

in the department of with effect from

(d)

I am a member of the administrative staff, appointed to the post of

with effect from I was a student at

between and

M I am a member of the College staff, appointed to the post of

with effect from

k•+*•**** I enclose a subscription of

S I G N E D

D A T E