Founded in 1949 The Newspaper of Imperial College Union

E

Terror has been instilled into the hearts of the poor,

down-trodden employees of the Summer Accommodat ion

C e n t r e ( S A C ) . T h e y r isk l o s i n g t h e i r j obs i f they grass.

F E L I X investigates why.

Not unconnected with this regime of fear are the rumours

and half-truths circulating concerning the state of the R C S

windows. T h e y were dirty — boy, oh boy, were they dirty. A n d

now they are clean — read on, a mesh of interwoven intrigue

follows.

Trophies Stolen T H R E E weeks ago, IC U n i o n suffered the loss of twenty-six

trophies. The silverware, worth about £5,000, was stolen from the

Trophy Cabinet in the Union Office. The thieves left only three

silver cups, several bulky shields and the pewterware; but nothing

else was taken.

O The Castaways Cup, the most valuable item stolen.

Bv B.B. Wolffe

Our Ace Reporter who exposes

where no other Ace Reporter

dare expose

Continued on page three

AT the b e g i n n i n g o f A u g u s t it

w a s l e a r n t t h a t a h u n d r e d

A m e r i c a n t o u r i s t s w h o h a d b e e n

p r e v i o u s l y b o o k e d w i t h S A C ( S u m ­

m e r A c c o m m o d a t i o n C e n t r e ) for a

t h r e e - d a y p e r i o d w e r e n o w s t a y i n g

at t h e P e n t a H o t e l i n C r o m w e l l

R o a d . T h e off icial l ine is that " s u c h

o v e r b o o k i n g is q u i t e n o r m a l a n d

n o t h i n g to d o w i t h S A C i n c o m p e t e n c e

d u e to t h e m n o t r e a l i s i n g t h a t

K e o g h a n d S e l k i r k H a l l s w o u l d not

b e o p e r a t i o n a l b e c a u s e o f t h e

r e p l a c e m e n t o f r a d i a t o r s " . H o w e v e r ,

C a p t a i n L i n d l e y h a d a d m i t t e d to

F E L I X that this d i d not o c c u r last

y e a r ( A - h a ! ) . W e refuse to be l ieve

the of f icial l ine o f this m a t t e r a n d

p r o p o s e that the r e a l r e a s o n ( d e n i e d

to the hi lt by S A C ) is d u e to the

filthy state o f the R C $ w i n d o w s .

T h e R C S O f f i c e is n e x t d o o r t o

S A C a n d is b e l i e v e d to a c t u a l l y be

t h e S A C O f f i c e b y s o m e t o u r i s t s

f r o m T h i r d W o r l d c o u n t r i e s .

W e b e l i e v e t h a t t h e A m e r i c a n

v i s t o r s u p o n a r r i v a l at t h e S A C

O f f i c e w e r e so ut ter ly d isgusted at

the state o f the R C S w i n d o w s that

t h e y as a p a r t y d e c i d e d to*, t a k e

a d v a n t a g e o f t h e P e n t a H o t e l ' s

c o m p e t i t i v e rates a n d m u c h c l e a r e r

w i n d o w s .

It is u n d i s p u t e d F A C T that after

m y i n i t i a l t e l e p h o n e c a l l to C a p t a i n

L i n d l e y c o n d i t i o n s i n t h e S A C

O f f i c e took a t u r n for the worse.

Threats

T h e S A C e m p l o y e e s w e r e a d v i s e d :

a) n o t t o s a y a w o r d a b o u t

a n y t h i n g to a n y o n e .

b) i f t h e y d i d s a y a w o r d to

m a k e sure they d i d n ' t m e n t i o n

' that business ' .

c) i f t h e y d i d m e n t i o n ' t h a t

business ' not to say it i n the b a r .

d) i f they d i d say it i n the b a r ,

not to say it i f I was a r o u n d .

e) not to let a n y o n e w h o d i d

not w o r k for S A C i n t o the office.

f) i f they d i d let a n y o n e i n the

office to m a k e sure it was not

someone w i t h a c o n n e c t i o n to

F E L I X .

Breakfast Tickets

O f e v e n m o r e interest is the fact

that C a p t a i n L i n d l e y himself c a m e

o v e r to the S A C O f f i c e a n d o r d e r e d

a S E N I O R R E C E P T I O N I S T t o

i m m e d i a t e l y take b u c k e t i n h a n d

a n d c l e a n the R C S w i n d o w s . Is this

a j o b for a p e r s o n w h o is u s e d to

h a n d l i n g millions of pounds w o r t h o f

M o o n e y breakfast a n d l u n c h tickets

(sometimes as m a n y as 50!) to be

exposed to? W e at F E L I X b e l i e v e

some pret ty h i g h leve l t h i n k i n g w e n t

in t o this d e c i s i o n a n d realise t h a t

C o l l e g e w o u l d n e v e r s u b m i t a

S e n i o r R e c e p t i o n i s t to such a m e n i a l

task w i t h o u t g o o d reason .

It is little w o n d e r that the state o f

the R C S w i n d o w s has c a u s e d s u c h

h i g h level c o n c e r n . W h y o n l y t h e

o t h e r week a S p a n i s h tourist s a i d to^

Continued on

back page

No. 559 Friday, August 22,1980 Free!

Page 2 Felix, August 22,1980

S i r

I w o u l d l ike to be the first to

c o m p l a i n a b o u t y o u r first a t t e m p t at

p r o d u c i n g a P H A L L I X . E v e n

t h o u g h I h a v e n ' t seen a n y o f it yet,

I ' m sure it w i l l be p a c k e d w i t h the

same w e a l t h of d e g r a d i n g m a t e r i a l

w h i c h f o r m e d one of y o u r previous

p u b l i c a t i o n s (you k n o w , that one).

Besides i n f l i c t i n g y o u r o w n insidious

r a m b l i n g s o n a n i n n o c e n t postgrad

c o m m u n i t y y o u w i l l , n o d o u b t , be

i n c l u d i n g l e t t e r s * f u l l of u s e l e s s

r u b b i s h , l ike this one. I t h i n k it's

pitiful. W e al l k n o w that fees are too

h i g h , grants are too low, L i b e r a l

C l u b s h o u l d n ' t be a l l o w e d to d o

what they d o a n d J u s t i n N e w l a n d

d o e s n ' t e v e n e x i s t ! W e ' r e n o t

interested in e t e r n a l crossfire f r o m

o p p o s i n g c a m p s c o n c e r n i n g m a i n l y

m o r a l m e a n d e r i n g . L e t ' s h a v e letters

f r o m p e o p l e w h o w a n t to c o n t r i b u t e

a bit of news y o u m a y h a v e missed ;

n e w s o f p a s t m e m b e r s o f I C f o r

instance o r tips o n u p c o m i n g events

outside C o l l e g e .

I also t h i n k this is a lousy w a y o f

g e t t i n g m e to fill y o u r letters p a g e .

Y o u r s in a n t i c i p a t i o n o f a n e d i t o r i a l

c o m m e n t ,

Mark Smith (if in full)

G.M. Tarkin (if letter is cut)

D e a r Sweet ie ,

T o m y h o r r o r , I h a v e recent ly

d i s c o v e r e d that most of m y present

i n c o m e is b e i n g ' n i c k e d ' b y m y

b a n k u n d e r t h e g u i s e o f ' b a n k

charges ' . W h i l s t I see the p o i n t o f

' r i p p i n g o i F the ' f i l thy r i c h ' , I see

this as a gross injustice .

I m e a n , how c a n a p o o r g r a d u a t e ,

u n e m p l o y e d , possibly keep u p w i t h

i t ! It a p p e a r s to m e t h a t t h e

students, w i t h their grossly e n l a r g e d

g r a n t s , s h o u l d k e e p p e o p l e l i k e

m y s e l f free f r o m the c lutches o f the

nasty banks .

It o c c u r r e d to m e that w r i t i n g m y

c h e q u e s o n fish m i g h t r e d u c e m y

b i l l , but , r e g a r d i n g the p r i c e o f c o d

at t h e m o m e n t , t h i s n o t i o n w a s

i m m e d i a t e l y s truck f r o m m y m i n d .

I u r g e y o u to p e r s u a d e T o m

C o t t r e l i et al to give us p o o r buggers

a c h a n c e .

Y o u r s , less t h a n pleased

Simon Middleboe

I a m not one to write reams o f

meaningless d r i v e l just to get m y

n a m e in F E L I X b u t , this t ime I feel

I real ly must m a k e a n e x c e p t i o n

a n d p u t p e n to p a p e r . Ser io us ly , in

al l m y t ime at I C I h a v e never been

so s h o c k e d , n o r so a n n o y e d by what

is g o i n g o n .

I t h o u g h t that there must be some

integrity left i n the students o f t o d a y

but a p p a r e n t l y there is not so m u c h

as one g r a i n of c o m m o n sense o r

d e c e n c y in a n y one o f t h e m .

It is a far c r y f r o m m y first d a y s

at univers i ty w h e n students were

l o o k e d u p o n as r e s p o n s i b l e , u p ­

s t a n d i n g ci t izens w h o , i f at times a

l i t t l e b o i s t e r o u s , w e r e at l e a s t ,

g e n u i n e l y t r u s t w o r t h y people .

N o t so t o d a y ! It was o n l y recent ly

that the true d e p r a v i t y to w h i c h

s t u d e n t s a t I C h a v e f a l l e n w a s

b r o u g h t h o m e to m e i n a fashion

w h i c h l e f t m e s p e e c h l e s s w i t h

disgust . T h e r e f o r e I a m i m p e l l e d to

w r i t e this letter in the h o p e that

p e r h a p s some o f y o u r readers w i l l

p u l l their socks u p .

Y o u r s s incerely ,

C. Alucard

Real name and address supplied.

S i r ,

I must say that I w h o l e h e a r t e d l y

c o m m i s e r a t e w i t h y o u o n the m a t t e r

o f c o p y d e a d l i n e s . T w o m o n t h s

seems a perfectly a d e q u a t e a m o u n t

o f t i m e to w r i t e any a r t i c l e — I

d o n ' t t h i n k y o u ' v e ever g i v e n m e

m o r e t h a n t w o d a y s to write a n y t h i n g .

H o w e v e r , y o u a l r e a d y k n o w this. I

w r i t e this m o r e as a p l e a d i n g letter

to those p e o p l e out there w h o h a v e

m a t e r i a l for F E L I X . Please get it in

o n t i m e ; t h e r e is n o t h i n g i n t h e

w o r l d m o r e i r r i t a t i n g t h a n t r y i n g to

d o a quiet evenings w o r k in the

o f f i c e p a s t i n g - u p t h e R a g M a g

whilst a r a m p a g i n g F E L I X E d i t o r is

s t a l k i n g b a c k a n d forth in a foul

m o o d , s c r e a m i n g coarse invect ive

at a n y o n e in his w a y a n d s h o u t i n g

d o w n curses o n p e o p l e w h o h a v e n ' t

d e l i v e r e d c o p y . Instead o f get t ing o n

w i t h it I find m y s e l f fo rce d ( i f I

e v e r w a n t to get a n y w o r k d o n e a l

all) to w r i t e letters l ike this to fill i n

t h e h o l e s t h a t y o u p e o p l e l e a v e .

H o n e s t l y , he rea l ly is mean. Please

h e l p m e .

Y o u r s s incerely ,

Dave Jago

D e a r S t e p h e n ,

I h e a r y o u are s t a y i n g o n at that

n i c e I m p e r i a l s c h o o l f o r a n o t h e r

year . I ' m a f r a i d y o u r father is a bit

upset as he feels y o u s h o u l d be out

e a r n i n g a l i v i n g , but t h e n his b o i l

m a y n e e d l a n c i n g . B e s i d e s y o u

a l w a y s were s u c h a n i n s u l a r c h i l d

a n d a n o t h e r y e a r o f q u i e t secur i ty

c o u l d m a t u r e y o u so m u c h . W h a t ' s

this a b o u t y o u g r o w i n g some b r e a d ?

I ' m a f r a i d y o u r last letter was q u i t e

e l i g i b l e a n d I c o u l d n ' t u n d e r s t a n d a

w o r d o f it.

I h o p e y o u r cat gets better.

Your loving mother,

r

Gj

W e l l , here it is, the first highly exciting " P G T i p s " c o l u m n of the

new regime, packed lull of exciting facts a n d useful hints towards

leading a full a n d active life.

First though, the committee:

C h a i r t h i n g y : me (John Whitehouse), C h e m 4162

Secretary: J o h n H a b e r s h o n , D S E S 4272

Social Sec: D o u g A r m s t r o n g , C h e m 4147

Treasurer : G r a h a m Greene, C h e m 4117

Welfare Officer: M a r c u s Karo lewski , C h e m E n g 3774

T h i s year I intend to continue the scheme, started last year,

encouraging departmental groups to set u p a n d get busy organising

events, both with their own departments a n d on a wider scale, as in

inter-departmental football matches — the carrot being the offer o f

cash or equipment .

Last year there was a m i n o r hassle, as an open oiler was made to

all departments and we had no idea what was h a p p e n i n g until the

bills arr ived, some of which h a d to be settled out of this year's cash,

which sent G r a h a m into a right tizzy. T h i s year then, tell us

what y o u i n t e n d d o i n g first a n d things s h o u l d r u n a lot more

smoothly. T h e best way to get your share is to coopt some member

of your department as a rep a n d send them along to our meetings.

Also if np one comes u p with any exciting ideas, we'll be stuck with

the usual forty-five bar nights and the odd ploughmans.

A n o t h e r a m b i t i o n of mine is to actually hold a quorate general

meeting at least once d u r i n g the year.

M y job is e s s e n t i a l l y r e p r e s e n t i n g y o u o n C o u n c i l a n d the

G r a d u a t e Studies C o m m i t t e e . N o w it's all right me rant ing and

r a v i n g about the inadequate a n d expensive refectory service over

summer, the fact that Stan's Bar prices are also up , the cricket

pitches at H a r i i n g t o n were r ipped up at the beginning of summer ,

P h D students average four and a hal f years to finish and are lucky if

they see their supervisors more than twice a year, but il no one

other than myself has voiced any opinion on these matters, I 'm

not going to be able to fight with m u c h convict ion. Last year's

questionnaire, for instance, received about 10% response, a n d most

of them P h D s . It has been suggested that this year's reps should go

r o u nd physically visiting as many as possible, would you reply then?

A n o t h e r thing that bugs me is that P G G r o u p receives only £ 5 6 0

f r o m the U n i o n , t h o u g h a d m i t t e d l y , in the past t h e y ' v e h a d

difficulty spending this m u c h , but 30p return from the £ 3 9 you're

putt ing in doesn't strike me as very generous. O f course a lew P G s

d o take advantage o f the full range o f U n i o n facilities, especially

sports, but do you think you're getting a fair share? Please let me

know.

John Whitehouse

P G C h a i r m a n , 1980/1

o f p r o p e r t y a n d o p e n l a n d is m a d e

to the students; there are massive

areas o f grass, that we, espec ia l ly , miss

o u t o n b y l i v i n g i n L o n d o n —

this makes C a m b r i d g e a n a t t r a c t i v e

city to be in d u r i n g s u m m e r s w h e n

the s u n shines r e g u l a r l y .

A t teat ime the c a u t i o u s d r i n k e r s

c e a s e d t h e i r p e r e g r i n a t i o n s a n d

s t o p p e d b y a g a i n a t t h e C o r n

E x c h a n g e w h e r e the b e e r festival

was a c c o m m o d a t e d ; the range o f

beers put o n was modest but wel l

b e y o n d the c a p a c i t y o f a n y n o r m a l

p e r s o n i n a s i n g l e d a y . C h e a p

wholsesome foods — b r o w n b r e a d ,

cheese, pickles , pies a n d m o r e —

w e r e also l a i d o n in the same a r e a .

D u r i n g the steady d r i v e t h r o u g h

the g r e y - b l u e flatness o f the East

C o u n t r y twi l ight , the loneliness o f

the j o u r n e y h o m e was eased by the

gentle s o u n d o f the voices o f the

back-seat c h o i r .

G r a h a m Greene

Cambridge trip ( A review for those w h o missed it)

A t t e n o ' c l o c k o n F r i d a y t h e

m e t e o r o l o g i c a l signs l o o k e d f a v o u r ­

able a n d there were a n u m b e r o f

students o n the d u s t - d r y p a v e m e n t

w h o were r e l u c t a n t to c l i m b in t o

the coaches . T h e d r i v e to C a m b r i d g e

was a bit w a r m but passed fairly

q u i c k l y a n d we a r r i v e d at n o o n . A

few g r o u p s went straight across to

the beer festival a n d w h e n they left

to get some l u n c h d e v e l o p e d b l i n d i n g

h e a d a c h e s , a c o n s e q u e n c e o f t h e

strength o f the beer a n d the p a r c h i n g

h e a t . D o w n o n t h e r i v e r s o m e

students e n g a g e d i n h o r s e - p l a y o n

h i r e d p u n t s ; those w h o g r i p p e d the

q u a n t s too l o n g s l id off the e n d -

p l a t i b r m in t o the w e l c o m i n g c u s h i o n

o f the C a m .

W a l k i n g a r o u n d the c i ty was h a r d

a n d thirsty w o r k b u t it was i n t e r e s t i n g

to see just h o w generous a p r o v i s i o n

Felix, August 22,1980 Pafe 3

Continued from front page

Trophies Stolen A m o n g the c u p s a n c k b o w l s stolen

that n i g h t were the T y r i a n T r o p h y

C r o s s - C o u n t r y C h a m p i o n s h i p C u p

a n d t h e C a s t a w a y s C u p f o r t h e

U L U S a i l i n g C h a m p i o n s h i p . T h i s

his tor ic s i lver t r o p h y was wel l o v e r

o n e h u n d r e d y e a r s o l d a n d w a s

u n d o u b t e d l y the most v a l u a b l e i tem

t a k e n . O t h e r c l u b s hit h a r d by the

theft were A t h l e t i c s a n d G o l f .

M a n y o f the trophies b e l o n g e d to

the U n i v e r s i t y o f L o n d o n U n i o n ;

i n d e e d some s h o u l d not e v e n h a v e

b e e n at I C . E a r l i e r this y e a r , U L U

were i n f o r m e d that several o f t h e i r

trophies b e i n g h e l d by I C h a d not

b e e n c o m p e t e d for in recent years

a n d w e r e o f f e r e d t h e i r r e t u r n .

H o w e v e r , this p r o d u c e d n o response

a n d m e a n t that the cups r e m a i n e d

i n the U n i o n O f f i c e .

b a c k o f the U n i o n B u i l d i n g , o p p o s i t e

the A l b e r t H a l l . It is a p p a r e n t f r o m

the w a y the theft was c a r r i e d out ,

t h a t t h o s e r e s p o n s i b l e k n e w t h e

l a y o u t o f the U n i o n O f f i c e a n d h a d

a g o o d idea o f the securi ty a r r a n g e ­

ments .

t

e

A n u n f o r t u n a t e aspect o f the loss

is that it s h o u l d never h a v e o c c u r r e d .

A t the start o f the session, several

U n i o n officers, w o r r i e d a b o u t the

Another "hot" cup

C o n v e r s e l y , a large p r o p o r t i o n o f

I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e s i l v e r w a r e was i n

the R o y a l S c h o o l o f M i n e s at the

t i m e o f t h e t h e f t . It h a d b e e n

b o r r o w e d by M i n e s U n i o n for their

A G M a n d D i n n e r , a n d , t h r o u g h a

fortunate overs ight , h a d not b e e n

r e t u r n e d .

n

T h e theft took p l a c e in the e a r l y

m o r n i n g o f T u e s d a y , 2 9 t h J u l y ,

b e t w e e n t w o o ' c l o c k , w h e n B e i t

security m a d e their p a t r o l a n d the

t ime the c leaners o p e n e d the office.

T h e i n t r u d e r s m a d e their e n t r y b y

b r e a k i n g a w i n d o w in the H o n o r a r y

S e c r e t a r y ' s O N i c e , w h i c h is at the

r e a r o f t h e b u i l d i n g ; t h e y t h e n

farced the r a t h e r i n a d e q u a t e locks

o n the T r o p h y C a b i n e t . T o c a r r y

a w a y the s izeable h a u l , a s m a l l v a n

o r c a r must h a v e been p a r k e d at the

s t a n d a r d o f security in the U n i o n

O f f i c e a n d p a r t i c u l a r l y the T r o p h y

C a b i n e t , i n v e s t i g a t e d m e a n s of

i m p r o v i n g m a t t e r s . T h e D e p u t y

P r e s i d e n t , M a l c o l m B r a i n , w r o t e to

the C o l l e g e Estates S e c t i o n o n 31st

O c t o b e r a n d 3 r d D e c e m b e r , 1979,

r e q u e s t i n g a n e s t i m a t e f o r b e t t e r

locks, a n a l a r m for the t r o p h i e s a n d

a n e x t e n s i o n o f t h e r a p e a l a r m .

R a c h e l S n e e , t h i s y e a r ' s D e p u t y

Pres ident r e c e i v e d the r e p l y o n 9 t h

J u l y , 1980 — a d d r e s s e d to M a l c o l m

B r a i n . A n d the est imate was not

e v e n i t e m i s e d !

P o l i c e i n v e s t i g a t i o n s a r e b e i n g

dealt w i t h by G e r a l d R o a d P o l i c e

S t a t i o n , a l t h o u g h n o sign has b e e n

seen o f t h e m since the d a y of the

theft. A n y o n e w i t h a n y i n f o r m a t i o n

s h o u l d c o n t a c t e i ther the P o l i c e , M r

B u r r o u g h s in the C o l l e g e S e c u r i t y

O f f i c e o r the U n i o n O f f i c e . Y o u r

h e l p w o u l d be a p p r e c i a t e d .

Top Man thwarts thief At 4:00p.m. yesterday M r . J o h n S m i t h , the College Secretary

a n d f o r m e r G o v e r n e r o f the G i l b e r t & E l l i c e I s l a n d s ,

arrested a thief i n his office.

The Thief, whose name is uncertain at the time of going to press,

was described earlier as 'Malaysian-looking with dark hair' when he

was reported to College Security at 2:00p.m. as a suspicious

character.

M r . Smith observed the thief leaving his office at 3:45p.m. His

suspicions aroused, he discovered that his wallet had been stolen.

Upon challenging the thief he noticed his wallet sticking out of the

gentleman's trousers—a struggle ensued, a window was broken and

the thief overpowered.

The police arrived shortly afterwards but did not allow a full

search of the thief in the College which means a delay in compiling

a full list of the other items stolen from Sherfield.

London Student to fold ? London Student ( f o r m e r l y Sennet) a p p e a r s to b e r u n n i n g i n t o f i n a n c i a l

diff iculties . T h e i r u s u a l p r i n t e r , Bai leys of D u r s l e y , G l o s , has been d r o p p e d

a n d a n e w p r i n t e r sought . T h i s looks l ikely to be F e b e d g e ' s o f H a c k e n e y — a

test p r i n t r u n w i l l take p l a c e at the e n d o f A u g u s t to see if the new p r i n t e r

c a n b o t h c o p e w i t h t h e h e c t i c s c h e d u l e i n h e r e n t in p r i n t i n g a w e e k l y

n e w s p a p e r a n d c o m e u p to the q u a l i t y p r e v i o u s l y o b t a i n e d by B a i l e y s . W i t h

the c h a n g e of p r i n t e r s c o m e s a c h a n g e i n process; f r o m letterpress to offset

l i tho . W e at F E L I X look f o r w a r d to seeing the n e w - l o o k n e w s p a p e r as we

c h a n g e d f r o m B a i l e y ' s letterpress to offset- l itho o n U n i o n premises i n 1974.

W h e n it a p p e a r s the n e w s p a p e r w i l l be s l ightly s m a l l e r t h a n u s u a l w i t h a

freshly d e s i g n e d header . (Incidentally, hope you like our new header - Ed.)

H o w e v e r , a c h a n g e o f pr inters w i l l not rel ieve London Student's financial

diff iculties . N e x t y e a r o n l y 22 issues w i t h a n eight p a g e m a x i m u m w i l l be

p r o d u c e d . A l s o , s tudent u n i o n s h a v e for the first t i m e been asked to p a y a

s u b s c r i p t i o n for the n e w s p a p e r o f 2 1 / 2 p p e r c o p y . I C w i l l be t a k i n g 300

c o p i e s . S u b s c r i p t i o n s at p r e s e n t s t a n d at 6 ,700 . A b o u t s e v e n t h o u s a n d

subscr ipt ions are n e e d e d at present to b r e a k e v e n (in 1974, Sennet b o a s t e d

100,000 c i r c u l a t i o n ) . If sufficient s u b s c r i p t i o n s o r a d v e r t i s i n g r e v e n u e is not

f o r t h c o m i n g , it seems l ike ly that London Student w i l l fold after C h r i s t m a s thus

g i v i n g F E L I X the largest c i r c u l a t i o n o f a n y L o n d o n student n e w s p a p e r .

A day at Buck House O n Thursday, 17th July, a few College notables were invited to

attend a garden party to honour the Queen Mother, who is the

patron of the University of London.

The mode of transport was the College motorised mascots to add

authenticity to the occasion. With Miss Jo Armitage dressed in pink

hat and hastily made summer frock in Bo and Messrs Fox and

O'Boyle, dressed in Moss Bros morning attire, accompanied by the

Wheales in Jez, they set ofF in a light summer rain to the palace

With the passengers dropped ofi" at the door, the transportation

took up their allotted positions in the Mall , ready to collect their

charges.

The participants, however, felt rather out of their depth, and, with

the exception of Miss Armitage, who engaged two old ladies in brief

converstion no-one did very much, though, I understand, M r .

O'Boyle was very much on the look-out for any 'spare' aristocracy.

A venture to see the Queen and assorted Royals was foiled by the

huge queues of people with the same purpose in mind and the

ambition to do something, in the Beatles mode, in the Royal loos

did not materialise.

As one can guess, the party, if that's what it was, dragged on a

bit, and all were quite ready to leave at the appointed time; I think

the weather had a hand in this, though.

The motors were summoned over the loudspeaker system, "the

car for Miss Jo Armitage", etc, from the Mall and the 'party goers'

were duly picked up. Alas, Jez was not allowed to pass through the

Inner Gates by a Palace Official, so her charges had to walk.

It is understood from the few participants that I spoke to that the

best piece of the afternoon was coming and going, with the hawks

trying to guess who these strangely attired people, with as many as

three chauffers each, were. A good time was had by all!

Simon Middleboe

Pa£e 4 Felix, August 22,1980

Linstead Extension Ceilings

Security Chief

M r . Geoffrey R e e v e s took o v e r the

post o f C h i e f S e c u r i t y O f f i c e r two

weeks ago, f o l l o w i n g the d e a t h o f

A r t h u r D a w s o n last t e r m .

M r . Reeves is a former S c o t l a n d

Y a r d C h i e f S u p e r i n t e n d e n t w i t h 32

years service b e h i n d h i m . T h e latter

six years were spent i n the O r g a n ­

isat ional M e t h o d s D e p a r t m e n t .

D u e to e c o n o m i c c u t b a c k s in the

last y e a r t h e n u m b e r o f s e c u r i t y

g u a r d s have been r e d u c e d f r o m 58

to 48, i.e. 24 per shift. H o w e v e r , M r

Reeves , whose son s tudied i n G u i l d s

seems a b l y q u a l i f i e d to m a k e best

use o f his a v a i l a b l e m a n p o w e r .

D u r i n g the c o m i n g year , a r o v i n g

p a t r o l f o r t h e h a l l s a s a r a p e

deterrent is l ikely to be f o r m e d a n d

out o f hours access to some C o l l e g e

b u i l d i n g s w i l l b e m o r e s t r i c t l y

c o n t r o l l e d . A k e y - c a r d a c c e s s

m e t h o d m a y be used for H u x l e y

a n d R S M .

RSC Drama

T h e R o y a l S h a k e s p e a r e C o m p a n y

u s e d t h e G r e a t H a l l r e c e n t l y to

rehearse the present p r o d u c t i o n o f

Henry IV. T h e dress rehearsa l took

p l a c e b e t w e e n the 27th J u l y a n d the

5 t h A u g u s t p r e c e e d i n g the R S C ' s

c u r r e n t tour .

Van Trouble

T h e trials a n d t r i b u l a t i o n s o f I C U

T r a n s p o r t go o n . O n l y weeks after

b r e a k i n g d o w n i n B r i s t o l a n d

l e a v i n g t h e C r i c k e t C l u b t o u r

t e m p o r a r i l y s t r a n d e d , the b lue v a n

( G G P ) , o n its w a y to N e w c a s t l e , got

a s f a r a s K i l b u r n b e f o r e t h e

a l t e r n a t o r fell off. F o r t u n a t e l y the

h i r e r s w e r e a b l e to use t h e n e w

o r a n g e c r e w b u s ( R G O ) f o r t h e

r e m a i n d e r o f the j o u r n e y . It was

la ter d i s c o v e r e d that P e a c o c k ' s o f

B a l h a m h a d j u s t r e p l a c e d t h e

a l t e r n a t o r a n d since it was h i g h l y

l ikely that they h a d not b o l t e d it

b a c k o n p r o p e r l y they a g r e e d to

m a k e g o o d a l l the d a m a g e .

Day Nursery

There is the possibility that ICU

may acquire some space in the

Royal College of Art Day Nursery

from October for one year only.

The scheme will only work if we

can guarantee to fill the extra

places and the RCA must know

by Tuesday. The fees for the

Nursery are not yet fixed but will

be similar to or slightly less than

those charged in the IC Nursery.

If any student or member of

staff with children is interested

please contact J Passmore, ICU

Office (int 3915) as soon as

possible.

E v e n the new T r a n s i t ( R G O ) has

not been w i t h o u t t r o u b l e . W h e n it

was o n l y a m o n t h o l d , the suppl iers ,

Peacocks a g a i n , fitted a new gear ­

b o x — as p a r t o f t h e f irst s e r v i c e !

Railcard

N e x t s e s s i o n , t h e B r i t i s h R a i l

S t u d e n t R a i l c a r d w i l l cost £10 a n d

is v a l i d f r o m 1st S e p t e m b e r , 1980 to

30th S e p t e m b e r , 1981. It entitles

the h o l d e r to 50% off the f o l l o w i n g

s e c o n d c l a s s r a i l f a r e s : o r d i n a r y

s ingle , o r d i n a r y r e t u r n a n d a w a y d a y

r e t u r n , l i m i t e d o n l y by a m i n i m u m

student fare o f £2 O r d i n a r y S i n g l e

o r A w a y d a y R e t u r n a n d £ \ O r d i n a r y

R e t u r n . T h e r e is no m i n i m u m fare

o n S a t u r d a y s , S u n d a y s a n d B a n k

H o l i d a y s , a n y d a y d u r i n g J u l y a n d

A u g u s t o r , for the first t ime this

year , after 1800 hours o n M o n d a y

to F r i d a y .

H o l d e r s o f S t u d e n t R a i l c a r d s c a n

a l s o o b t a i n h a l f - p r i c e t r a v e l o n

S e a l i n k s e r v i c e s t o t h e C h a n n e l

Islands a n d I r e l a n d , a n d t h r o u g h

r a i l / s h i p j o u r n e y s t o t h e I s l e

o f W i g h t .

" T h e S t u d e n t R a i l c a r d ' s success is

p l a i n l y d u e to the fact that it offers

g r e a t v a l u e f o r m o n e y t r a v e l to

y o u n g p e o p l e w h o w o u l d not o t h e r ­

wise be a b l e to t r a v e l so m u c h " ,

s a i d M r . D a v i d R a y n e r , B R ' s

Passenger Sales M a n a g e r (Wow! -

Ed). B R S t u d e n t R a i l c a r d s m a y be

o b t a i n e d f r o m the L S T O f f i c e n e a r

the J C R w h e n it reopens in late

S e p t e m b e r .

Retirement

M r . J o h n S a m w o r t h , the B o o k s h o p

M a n a g e r , has n o w r e t i r e d after six

years as M a n a g e r . A p a r t y was h e l d

i n his h o n o u r i n the B o o k s h o p o n

3 0 t h J u l y . M r S a m w o r t h , a k e e n

artist , was presented w i t h a n easel

f o r h i m t o e n j o y d u r i n g h i s

r e t i r e m e n t . W e at F E L I X w i s h h i m

w e l l a n d a l l the best for the future .

T h e r e w i l l not be a new M a n a g e r

i n the B o o k s h o p in the n e a r future ;

it is h o p e d that it c a n r u n itself,

w i t h the a i d o f a s m a l l c o m p u t e r .

Share-a-Fare

With fares rising once again I

shall try once more to resusitate

the above scheme. Please send

details of whether you want or

can offer a lift on a postcard to

Room 6M19 Huxley Building

and when I have enough partici­

pants I will make a list and send

out copies. I know people dislike

being tied down, but if you can

only offer a lift two or three days

a week it all helps you and your

environment! Don't forget to

include an internal phone number

or other contact point.

J Crawley, int 4595

T h e L i n s t e a d e x t e n s i o n is n o w

c o m p l e t e after m a n y , m a n y m o n t h s

o f b u i l d i n g . A t present the r o o m s

are b e i n g b r o k e n i n by h o a r d e s o f

tourists, w h o , it is h o p e d , w i l l take

t h e a w f u l s m e l l o f p o l y u r e t h a n e

a w a y w i t h t h e m o n their clothes.

T h e extens ion c a n a c c o m m o d a t e

74 p e o p l e ; 4 4 i n d o u b l e r o o m s .

T h e r e are four floors l a b e l l e d f r o m

A to D ; A b e i n g the lowest floor,

a b o v e t h e b e a u t i f u l v i e w o f t h e

b o i l e r h o u s e o n g r o u n d l e v e l .

O l d L i n s t e a d l inks w i t h the extension

o n levels A a n d D a n d w i l l be the base

for a l l the amenit ies .

T h e r e * a r e n o l i f t s , j u s t s t a i r s

at e a c h e n d . T h e system o f the floors

w i t h te lephones o n e a c h level is s i m i l a r

to W e e k s H a l l ; h o w e v e r , the 'new-

style a n g l i n g o f the w i n d o w s , w h i c h

is a p p a r e n t l y i n t e n d e d to a t t r a c t

s u n l i g h t for a greater d u r a t i o n o f

t h e d a y , f a i l s d i s m a l l y . T h e s e

p e c u l i a r w i n d o w d e s i g n s h a v e

resulted in p r o d u c i n g s o m e e q u a l l y

p e c u l i a r s h a p e d r o o m s i n w h i c h

t h e r e s i d e n t h a s t h e c h o i c e o f

w o r k i n g in n o r m a l d a y l i g h t n e a r

the w i n d o w s o r r e l a x i n g in s o o t h i n g

darkness i n the b a c k t w o - t h i r d s of

the r o o m ; w h e t h e r this is d e s i r a b l e is

q u e s t i o n a b l e . A new feature o f these

r o o m s is t h e w i n d o w b o x w h i c h

s h o u l d p r o v i d e a pleasant facade for

t h e e x t e n s i o n a s s u m i n g e v e r y o n e

t a k e s a d v a n t a g e o f t h e i r w i n d o w

boxes. U n f o r t u n a t e l y , in w i n t e r a

f a c a d e o f m i l k c a r t o n s , c h e e s e

packets a n d egg boxes m i g h t not

look so a p p e a l i n g . M a y b e the h a l l

c o u l d organise a 'Best W i n d o w B o x '

c o m p e t i t i o n to e n c o u r a g e this.

Hall Bursars!

R e c e n t w e e k s h a v e s e e n s o m e

c o m i n g s a n d g o i n g s a m o n g s t t h e

housekeepers i n the halls o f residence.

I s a b e l H a m i l t o n , h o u s e k e e p e r o f

G a r d e n a n d W e e k s H a l l s , has left us

for fairer c l i m e s — she has m o v e d to

a s i m i l a r j o b at C h e l s e a C o l l e g e .

T h e n e w housekeeper starts w o r k

this T u e s d a y .

A n o t h e r n e w a r r i v a l , D e b b i e

R o w e l l , h a s a l r e a d y s t a r t e d i n

L i n s t e a d H a l l . W i t h the o p e n i n g o f

t h e n e w e x t e n s i o n , it h a s b e e n

d e c i d e d to p r o v i d e the h a l l w i t h its

o w n h o u s e k e e p e r (to date L i n s t e a d

has b e e n the r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f G i l l

F o o t e r , w h o also has S e l k i r k a n d

T i z a r d to look after).

F i n a l l y , c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s to G i l l

F o o t e r , w h o isn't a n y m o r e . A s o f

several weeks ago , she is M r s . G i l l

T h a l l o n .

I n recent weeks a s izeable a m o u n t

o f s t r u c t u r a l d a m a g e has o c c u r r e d

in G a r d e n H a l l .

F o l l o w i n g the c o l l a p s e o f a c e i l i n g

o n level 3 o f the b u i l d i n g , c a u s e d b y

a l e a k i n g sink u n i t , a large a m o u n t

o f h e a v y p l a s t e r w a s r e m o v e d .

T h e c e i l i n g c o l l a p s e d d u r i n g a

l u n c h t i m e a n d s o m e o n e c o u l d h a v e

b e e n seriously i n j u r e d . A student

w a s i n f a c t h a v i n g a b a t h i n

t h e v i c i n i t y a t t h e t i m e a n d t h e

c l e a n e r h a d o n l y just left.

S u b s e q u e n t l y f u r t h e r i n c i d e n t s

h a v e o c c u r r e d . F l o o d i n g was c a u s e d

i n H o u s e 10 o f G a r d e n H a l l b y

a n o v e r f l o w f r o m b l o c k e d showers

o n S u n d a y , 11th A u g u s t . O n the

s a m e d a y a c r a c k e d c e i l i n g d r i p p e d

w a t e r w h e n a student h a d a shower

o n level 4 i n H o u s e 11.

S e v e r a l c e i l i n g s s e e m to b e i n

a q u e s t i o n a b l e s t a t e o f r e p a i r .

M r . J e r e m y T u r k , the W a r d e n , has

a s k e d f o r a l l t h e c e i l i n g s to be

inspected .

F u r t h e r d e f e c t s i n c l u d e t h e

c o n t i n u e d fai lure o f the E n t r y p h o n e

S y s t e m , w h i c h h a s b e e n o u t o f

a c t i o n for some t ime .

Southside Bar

M o d i f i c a t i o n s to the b a r b e n e a t h

S o u t h s i d e are present ly in progress.

I m p r o v e m e n t s i n c l u d e the i n t r o ­

d u c t i o n o f n e w s e a t i n g , h e a v y

w o o d e n t o p p e d tables a n d hessian

w a l l cover ings . D e c o r a t i o n s w i l l be

a d d e d to the walls a n d spot l i g h t i n g

w i l l r e p l a c e the present fluorescent

l a m p s . B y the use o f part i t ions a

s e r i e s o f s m a l l a l c o v e s w i l l b e

f o r m e d .

T h e e s t i m a t e d cost o f the invest ­

m e n t is £17,000 a n d the b a r s h o u l d

be o p e n before the w i n t e r t e r m .

Hot News

Insta l la t ion o f a new r a d i a t o r system

is n e a r i n g c o m p l e t i o n in K e o g h a n d

S e l k i r k H a l l s . T h e w o r k has taken

the w h o l e o f the s u m m e r v a c a t i o n to

d a t e , a n d has m e a n t that the halls

h a v e b e e n u n a v a i l a b l e for use in the

S A C s c h e m e . T h e n e w r a d i a t o r s are

b o t h m o r e e f f i c i e n t a n d m o r e

a t t r a c t i v e l o o k i n g t h a n the o l d , a n d

it is e x p e c t e d that F a l m o u t h a n d

T i z a r d w i l l e v e n t u a l l y fol low suit.

T h e w o r k is d u e for c o m p l e t i o n in

the first week o f S e p t e m b e r .

Felix, Auyust 22,1980 Paf}e 5

s

Cinema

"ifs show time..?

S i n c e the last F E L I X few w o r t h w h i l e

films h a v e sur faced .

C l i n t E a s t w o o d stars i n the title

r o l e o f Bronco Billy, a n u n u s u a l

c o m e d y i n w h i c h E a s t w o o d h i m s e l f

is as m a g n e t i c as ever . B i l l y is the

m a n a g e r o f a m o d e r n d a y wi ld -west

s h o w w h o , t h r o u g h v a r i o u s m i s ­

a d v e n t u r e s , s t i c k s to t h e u p r i g h t

m o r a l s o f his c o w b o y heroes. T h e

f i l m is q u i t e a m u s i n g a n d w e l l

p l a y e d , a l t h o u g h I d o u b t w h e t h e r it

w i l l a p p e a l to m a n y o f y o u .

U n r i v a l l e d i n its a p p a l l i n g d r e a r i ­

ness is the o v e r - h y p e d Can't Stop The

Music, s t a r r i n g the V i l l a g e P e o p l e

a n d assorted idiots . T h e m u s i c is

p r o b a b l y c a t c h y (but t h e n a g a i n so

w a s b u b o n i c p l a g u e ) , b u t o u t ­

rageous ly b a d a c t i n g is s u p p o r t e d by

a m a z i n g l y u n i m a g i n a t i v e p h o t o ­

g r a p h y . B i l l i n g this w i t h Kremmen

The Movie is a c r i m e . ' N u f T said?

I a lmost forgot Dynasty, the first 3-

D R u n g F u m o v i e . F r a n k l y f m not

s u r p r i s e d .

O f a far m o r e p a l a t a b l e n a t u r e is

Caddyshack, a n e w g o l f i n g c o m e d y .

H o w e v e r , despite the g o o d intent ions

a n d u n u s u a l subject m a t t e r , it falls

wel l b e l o w p a r .

B r e a k i n g G l a s s

T h e two most interest ing releases to

recent weeks b o t h o p e n e d yesterday

a n d b o t h c o n c e r n m u s i c .

Breaking Glass ( A A , B r i a n G i b s o n )

is a B r i t i s h p r o d u c t i o n s t a r r i n g

H a z e l O ' C o n n o r as K a t e , a r i s i n g

n e w w a v e s t a r w h o c a n n o t c o p e

w i t h her e v e n t u a l success. S h e is

m a n a g e d b y D a n n y ( P h i l D a n i e l s )

w h o , t h r o u g h his c o r r u p t d e a l i n g s

w i t h the r e c o r d i n d u s t r y , sparks off

the success o f K a t e a n d h e r b a n d .

T h e film d e f e a t s a f a i r l y t h i n

s tory l ine w i t h w e l l - s t a g e d set-pieces

a n d m a n y l ight m o m e n t s — w a t c h

out for J o n a t h a n P r y c e as K e n , a

d e a f s a x p l a y e r . M i s s O ' C o n n o r

p e r f o r m s h e r m u s i c a l h i s t r i o n i c s

w i t h style, a l t h o u g h her n u m b e r s

l e n d themselves too easily to c o m ­

p a r i s o n w i t h L e n e L o v i c h . T h e y

a r e , n o n e t h e l e s s , v e r y e n j o y a b l e ,

e s p e c i a l l y t h e i n t e r p r e t a t i o n o f

'Eighth Day', h e r p r e s e n t s i n g l e .

R e c o m m e n d e d .

A l l T h a t Jazz

R o y S c h e i d e r stars as J o e G i d e o n

in All That Jazz ( X , B o b Fosse) , a

s e m i - a u t o b i o g r a p h i c a l f i l m f r o m

m u s i c a l d i r e c t o r B o b Fosse.

G i d e o n , l ike Fosse is a successful

B r o a d w a y d i r e c t o r w h o , t h r o u g h

s m o k i n g , speed, o v e r w o r k a n d sex

e v e n t u a l l y has a heart attack. T h e

f inal m o n t h s o f his life are t o l d i n

f lashback by G i d e o n h i m s e l f as he

c o n f r o n t s h i s f i n a l l a d y l o v e —

d e a t h i t s e l f ( p o r t r a y e d h e r e b y

Jess ica L a n g e as a s h o w g i r l in full

b r i d a l g o w n ) .

S c h e i d e r gives a s m o o t h p o r t r a y a l

o f the c h e a t i n g , l o v e a b l e l i a r w h o is

n e v e r rea l ly c e r t a i n w h a t he real ly

w a n t s . H i s o b s e s s i o n w i t h " s h o w ­

t i m e ' runs to the v e r y e n d ; as he

u n d e r g o e s o p e n h e a r t s u r g e r y h e

directs his o w n d e a t h i n a series o f

g l a m o r o u s m u s i c a l scenes. P a r t i c ­

u l a r l y b r i l l i a n t , in- m y o w n o p i n i o n ,

was a f a n - d a n c e a r o u n d his o w n

h o s p i t a l b e d to 'Who's Sorry Now?\

T h e prospect o f his d e a t h isn't just

g l a n c e d at; he analyses his mot ives

a n d looks at v a r i o u s aspects o f his

life a n d loves.

T h e w h o l e f i l m centres o n d e a t h ,

a s u b j e c t w h i c h is o b v i o u s l y o f

q u e s t i o n a b l e t a s t e . I p e r s o n a l l y

t h o u g h t it was q u i t e wel l h a n d l e d

a n d kept r o u g h l y to the t e n u o u s

a r e a o f ' b l a c k c o m e d y ' .

F o s s e h i m s e l f h a s s u r v i v e d a

recent heart attact a n d the film is

O Hazel O'Connor performs 'Eighth day'

o b v i o u s l y full o f his o w n e x p e r i e n c e s

a n d o p i n i o n s . T h e d a n c e scenes are

w e l l s h o t ( w i t h s o m e e x c e l l e n t

edit ing) w h i c h a d d s to the c r e d i b i l i t y

o f the w h o l e subject . V e r y e n j o y a b l e

i n d e e d .

B r u b a k e r

Brubaker is a n e n t e r t a i n i n g n e w f i l m

s t a r r i n g R o b e r t R e d f o r d a n d the

e v e r - i m p r o v i n g Y a p h e t K o t t o . It

c o n c e r n s the efforts o f a n e w p r i s o n

g o v e r n o r ( R e d f o r d ) to r e f o r m a f a r m

p r i s o n , based o n the a c t u a l e x p e r i ­

ences o f o n e T h o m a s M u r t o n . H e

meets resistance at e v e r y q u a r t e r ,

e s p e c i a l l y f r o m t h e ' t r u s t e e '

pr isoners w h o starve a n d t o r t u r e the

o t h e r i n m a t e s for t h e i r o w n g a i n .

D e s p i t e great p e r s o n a l risk, B r u b a k e r

sticks to his m o r a l s a n d e v e n t u a l l y .

. . G o o d h e a v e n s ! W h a t a c l i f f

h a n g e r . A n y w a y , it's a n i n t e r e s t i n g ,

wel l m a d e f i l m (if a l itt le s o m b r e )

a n d wel l w o r t h v i e w i n g . It o p e n s o n

1 1 t h S e p t e m b e r at t h e L e i c e s t e r

S q u a r e T h e a t r e .

Mark Smith

Theatre

Anarchy Rules, OK? A n a n a r c h i s t , whilst b e i n g ' i n t e r ­

v i e w e d ' by the I t a l i a n p o l i c e , falls to

h i s d e a t h f r o m a s e v e n t h f l o o r

w i n d o w . T h e c o u r t o f i n q u i r y finds

t h e d e a t h to be a c c i d e n t a l . T w o

weeks later the g o v e r n m e n t c h a n g e s

its m i n d a n d decides to set u p a

s e c o n d invest igat ion . A l l v e r y j o l l y ,

y o u m i g h t t h i n k — a n d it is. T h i s is

t h e b a c k g r o u n d t o o n e o f t h e

funniest p l a y s c u r r e n t l y in the W e s t

E n d . The Accidental Death of an

Anarchist, by D a r i o F o (of We Can't

Pay - We won't Pay! fame) m a n a g e s

to c a r r y its m e s s a g e a n d r e m a i n

s u p e r b l y e n t e r t a i n i n g at the same

t ime .

T h e p r i n c i p a l p r o t a g o n i s t , p l a y e d

by G a v i n R i c h a r d s is a n a l l e g e d

l u n a t i c , p i c k e d u p by the p o l i c e for

v a g r a n c y . W h i l s t i n p o l i c e h e a d ­

q u a r t e r s , he hears o f the i m p e n d i n g

a r r i v a l o f the J u d i c i a l Invest igator .

B e i n g a m a s t e r o f d i s g u i s e , h e

i m p e r s o n a t e s the j u d g e a n d p r o c e e d s

to q u e s t i o n t h e t w o p o l i c e m e n

responsible for the a n a r c h i s t ' s d e a t h .

H e soon discovers that they were ,

in fact, to b l a m e . W h i l s t p r e t e n d i n g

to be s y m p a t h e t i c he reduces t h e m

t o h o p e l e s s c o n f u s i o n w i t h h i s

" h e l p f u l " s u g g e s t i o n . T h e p l o t

thickens w i t h the a r r i v a l o f the ace

r e p o r t e r , a b l y p l a y e d b y J e n i

B a r n e t t . T h e e n d i n g s ( t h e r e a r e

two!) n ice ly b r i n g o v e r the p o i n t o f

the p l a y .

T h e p l a y is r e m a r k a b l e in that

it neat ly c o m b i n e s several types o f

h u m o u r . T h e jokes , for e x a m p l e ,

r a n g e f r o m the a p p a l l i n g l y o b v i o u s

to the e x t r e m e l y subt le . I n a d d i t i o n

to the d i a l o g u e , w h i c h m a i n t a i n s a

h i g h s t a n d a r d o f wit t h r o u g h o u t ,

there are some excel lent a n d b e a u t i ­

fully t i m e d v i s u a l jokes . T h e h u m o u r

g o e s d e e p e r , h o w e v e r , a n d t h e

a c t u a l p lot , a n d e v e n the p r e s e n t a t i o n

o f the p l a y itself is v e r y a m u s i n g .

G a v i n R i c h a r d s does a n excel lent

job b o t h as a c t o r a n d d i r e c t o r . H e

k e e p s t h e p l a y n i c e l y b a l a n c e d

b e t w e e n f a r c e a n d d r a m a , a n d

b e t w e e n c o m e d y a n d p o l i t i c a l

c o m m e n t . S u c h a w e l l - r o u n d e d p l a y

s h o u l d not go u n s e e n .

Dave Jago

Pa£e 6 Felix, August 22.1980

Record

Boys Don't Cry

(Fiction Records)

This album is an imported compila­

tion of early Cure. It features all

the pre "17-seconds" singles and

the s m o o t h e r parts of " T h r e e

Imaginary Boys" .

It opens with the anti-fashion

s o n g 'Jumping Someone Else's

Train', follows with 'Boys Don't

Cry' the tragica l ly u n d e r r a t e d

debut single (I'll never understand

why this song wasn't a hit), then

the slightly uncomfortable 'Plastic

Passion'. The rest of the first side

is off "Three Imaginary Boys" , and

includes '10.15 Saturday Night' and

'Subway Song', the latter being an

amazing track in which a walking

bass line, an echoing guitar and

isolated harmonica wails combine

to produce a superb atmosphere of

t e n s i o n .

Side two features two tracks not

from "Three Imaginary Boys", to

wit 'Killing An Arab' and 'World

War'.

This makes an excellent intro­

duction to the music of the Cure , a

s o r t of e d i t e d h i g h l i g h t s , a n d

t h o u g h it omits ' S o What' my

favourite Cure song, all the other

obvious tracks are featured.

The Return Of

The Durutti Column

(Factory Records)

I got hold of this album " o n the off

chance" , and I've totally fallen head

o v e r heels for it. T h e D u r u t t i

C o l u m n is basically V i n i Reilly,

guitarist, writer, recluse and classic

ailing artist stereotype. H e has

p r o d u c e d a n a l b u m of m o o d y

e v o c a t i v e i n s t r u m e n t a l p i e c e s

ranging from the infectious bubblie-

n e s s of 'Jazz' to the w i s t f u l ,

s o m e h o w unsatisfying 'Requiem

For A Dead Father'. He plays with­

out recourse to cheap tricks, or

massed batteries of effects, and the

music gains from this, achieving an

intimacy that puts most solo guitar

work to shame. Martin Hannet's

production is clear and sympathetic

and the bass and percussion fit easily

into the background.

It's the ideal album for playing

while sitting ona balcony soaking

up the sun, for going to sleep to,

for waking up to, or for holding a

conversation over. I love it.

Lenny Bruce At

Carnegie Hall

(3 record set)

This is not a new release, but it's

currently selling at Virgin for only

£3, making it the best buy of the

moment. It appears to be a straight

end to end recording of his act.

T h e e s s e n c e of L e n n y B r u c e

comedy is in the timing; he slows,

sets the b a c k g r o u n d , spots his

target and races suddenly in to the

p u n c h l i n e . T h e laughter is not

d i s p e r s e d i m m e d i a t e l y , for he

nearly always jumps straight back

in building up a wall of comedy

(sometimes reaching almost lunacy)

before smashing the whole to with

the punchline and usually leaving

y o u t h i n k i n g at the e n d . T h e

subject matter leaps from place to

place: r a c i s m , sex, a h e c k l e r ,

always s p a r k e d off from chance

remarks.

O n e of the m o s t i n t e r e s t i n g

features of the album is the way

B r u c e d e a l s w i t h h e c k l e r s by

setting them up as a target for the

laughter of the rest of the audience.

This almost ruthlessness being a

m a r k e d o p p o s i t e to his n o r m a l

self less p h i l o s o p h y . T h e a l b u m

gives at least a hint of the enigmas

involved in the life of this remarkable

comedian. In additon to which it's a

damn good laugh.

Eric Jarvis

Although in the States, so my

American friends tell me, books by

Edward Gorey are just "falling off

the shelves", they tend to be

extremely rare and hard to get

hold of in this country. It's nice,

therefore, to find a Gorey double

feature easily available in most

bookshops, at a reasonable price.

The only real way to find out

what Gorey does is to find a copy

of the book somewhere and flick

through it, but perhaps a word or

two of explanation might be useful.

Gorey draws in a very full, detailed

way, giving his drawings a strong

'Victorian' look. His subject matter

manages to attain the same kind of

period flavour. Dancing Cats is a

series of drawings, as the title page

says: " in which cats are shown

engaged, for reasons known only

to themselves, in a wide variety of

unlikely pursuits, many of them

being of a rather mysterious

nature." That just about sums it

up. The pictures are quite sweet,

which is rather unusual for Gorey;

his stories are usually either bleak

and tragic or display a really evil

sense of humour.

The second collection, Neglected

Murderesses, is more typically

Goreyesque, and consists of a

series of drawings with a caption to

each. Typical is: "Nurse J. Rose-

beetle tilted her employer out of a

wheelchair and over a cliff at

Sludgemouth in 1898." The accom­

panying illustration shows the

nurse standing at the top of the

cliff with an empty wheelchair.

Both sequences in the book are

worth looking at, although Neglected

Murderesses appeal more to my

macabre sense of humour (some of

them will be in this year's Rag

Mag, so watch out!). The book

makes a nice addition to any

collection, being the sort of thing

you can keep for years without it

losing its appeal, and is worth £1.50

of anybody's money.

Dave Jago

f Gordon Blurr Presents.... J

Kangeroo Tail Soup

A s the dirty, slimy little U G s who couldn ' t even boil an egg are

away we thought we would treat you more distinguished members

ol the U n i o n to a little 'haute cuisine' , know what I mean squire.

So, this week for your delectation we present Kangaroo T a i l

S o u p . M a n y o f y o u w i l l n a t u r a l l y be e x c i t e d by the i d e a o f

kangaroo tail soup — but please try to resist the temptation of the

tinned varieties, you just can't beat the taste of home-made .

The Recipe

1 tail

3 oz. d r i p p i n g

3 qt. water

3 carrots

3 onions

2 s m a l l turnips

2-3 sprigs of parsley

1 bay leaf

Salt and pepper

l ' / 2 oz. f lour

1 gil l M a d e i r a

W a s h the tail a n d divide it at the joints. Heat the d r i p p i n g in a

stewpan, seer the tail until well browned. Strain ofF the d r i p p i n g

a n d put aside until required. A d d the water a n d b r i n g to the boil .

A l l o w to cool a n d skim well . Put in the prepared sliced vegetables,

parsley, bay leal a n d a good seasoning of salt a n d pepper, cover

closely, a n d s immer gently for four hours. S tra in ; if convenient let

the l iquor stand unti l quite cold , and remove every particle of fat

from the surface. Re-heat the d r i p p i n g used for frying, stir in the

flour, a n d cook for two minutes. A d d the stock, gradual ly b r i n g to

the boil , put in a few pieces of the tail a n d the wine. Season to taste

a n d serve.

8—10 helpings

Ripped off from yer actual Mrs. Beeton's Cookbook.

Books

Dancing Cats

& Neglected Murderesses

Felix, August 22 ,1980 Pa£e 7

f \

Sports News

< ) by T i m Hillyer

s

T h e S p o r t s C e n t r e is c losed u n t i l

2 n d S e p t e m b e r for staff h o l i d a y s ,

repairs a n d p a i n t i n g . T h e s w i m m i n g

p o o l was c losed for a l o n g e r p e r i o d

t h a n u s u a l d u e t o t h e e x p e c t e d

d e l i v e r y o f c h l o r i n e n o t a r r i v i n g .

D u r i n g the t i m e the s w i m m i n g p o o l

w a s c l o s e d f o r t h i s r e a s o n , t h e

M u l t i g y m r e m a i n e d o p e n a l t h o u g h

s o m e p e o p l e f o u n d it d i f f i c u l t to

p e r s u a d e t h e a t t e n d a n t to a l l o w

t h e m i n to use it. H o p e f u l l y , the

s q u a s h c o u r t s w i l l be b a c k i n use

s h o r t l y a f t e r t h e S p o r t s C e n t r e

reopens i n S e p t e m b e r .

New Games Hall T h e p r e p a r a t i o n o f the n e w G a m e s

H a l l i n the o l d C h e m i s t r y B l o c k is

p r o g r e s s i n g w e l l a n d it w i l l c e r t a i n l y

b e r e a d y f o r use b y t h e s t a r t o f

t e r m . N i c k M o r t o n ( A C C C h a i r m a n )

is c u r r e n t l y l o o k i n g f o r t h e m o s t

s u i t a b l e e q u i p m e n t f o r t h e h a l l .

A n y b o d y w i t h suggestions o r c o m ­

p l a i n t s a b o u t s p o r t s f a c i l i t i e s a t

C o l l e g e s h o u l d c o n t a c t N i c k v i a the

U n i o n O f f i c e .

Yacht Sale

A t t h e e n d o f j a n u a r y , m a n y

m o n l h s a g o , a n A C C G e n e r a l

M e e t i n g d e c i d e d to sell the U n i o n

y a c h t , Impetus . T h e m a i n reason

w a s t h a t d u e t o f a u l t s i n t h e

c o n s t r u c t i o n of the boat ; it h a d been

a constant d r a i n o n U n i o n f inances

a n d c o n s e q u e n t l y h a d b e e n o f little

use to Y a c h t C l u b m e m b e r s .

T h e boat , b o u g h t in 1977, has

s u f f e r e d f r o m s e v e r e p r o b l e m s ,

a r i s i n g f r o m faults in the m a n u f a c t u r e

o f the h u l l . T h i s has m e a n t that

expens ive w o r k needs to be d o n e to

m a k e I m p e t u s safe a n d s e a w o r t h y .

T h e p r o b l e m a r i s e s o v e r w h o is

responsible for the cost of r e p a i r ;

M i c h a e l A r t h u r is at the m o m e n t

n e g o t i a t i n g w i t h C o r a l M a r i n e , the

suppl iers o f the y a c h t , their solicitors ,

a n d t h e i n s u r e r s , b u t u n t i l t h e

m a t t e r is f i n a l l y sett led, the y a c h t

c a n not be s o l d .

T h i s m e a n s that w h i l e the y a c h t

is u n u s e a b l e , a w a i t i n g s a l e , t h e

U n i o n is still s p e n d i n g large s u m s '

o n essential m a i n t e n a n c e , i n s u r a n c e

a n d m o o r i n g fees. H o w e v e r , m e m b e r s

o f the Y a c h t C l u b are n o w a b l e to

enjoy their s a i l i n g o n c e m o r e ; the

C l u b n o w c h a r t e r s y a c h t s f o r

w e e k e n d s a n d d u r i n g the v a c a t i o n s .

T h i s has p r o v e d a far m o r e sui table

a r r a n g e m e n t .

ByB.B.Wolffe

B w t q U t t k e q o i t

T w o weeks ago, a mews resident

a p p r o a c h e d a S o u t h s i d e s e c u r i t y

g u a r d to c o m p l a i n a b o u t the noise

o f knives a n d forks f r o m the S o u t h s i d e

M a i n R e f e c t o r y a n d asked h i m to

c l o s e t h e w i n d o w s . A s it w a s a n

e x t r e m e l y h o t d a y , h e r e f u s e d ,

w h e r e u p o n t h e m e w s r e s i d e n t

a t t e m p t e d to c l o s e t h e m h i m s e l f .

W h e n asked to leave by the security

g u a r d h e r e s i s t e d a n d b e c a m e

violent a n d thus e n d e d u p w i t h a

p u n c h i n the g o b , y o u r h o n o u r .

A pom w Urn c ^ L c e

A l l p r a i s e for t h o s e c h a p p i e s i n

E s t a t e s . W i t h i n 36 h o u r s o f t h e

U n i o n O f f i c e b e i n g b r o k e n int o they

were a r o u n d to fix the w i n d o w in

L i z L i n d s a y ' s office, despite the twenty

year wailing list. H o w e v e r , they d i d

o m i t to b r i n g a n y tools w i t h t h e m .

(I knew it was too good to last - Ed).

L a t e r the same d a y they r e t u r n e d

a n d as far as we c a n d i s c e r n they

must be v e r y keen to fix w i n d o w s .

In fact, they l ike fixing w i n d o w s so

m u c h , that they s m a s h e d one that

w a s n ' t b r o k e n j u s t so t h a t t h e y

c o u l d h a v e twice as m u c h f u n .

T h e S u m m e r A c c o m m o d a t i o n

C e n t r e ( S A C ) offers b e d a n d breakfast

to tourists for j£9 .40 a n i g h t . O f this,

M r . M o o n e y a p p a r e n t l y p r o v i d e s

£ 2 . 5 5 w o r t h o f b r e a k f a s t p e r

t o u r i s t p e r d a y .

In i t ia l ly , one w o u l d t h i n k that

M r . M o o n e y c o u l d n o t p o s s i b l y

h a v e the a u d a c i t y to Offer tourists

the same " f o o d " that he passes off

as e d i b l e to p o o r u n s u s p e c t i n g

students at these prices . Y e t o n l y

last week a tourist c o m p l a i n e d o f

r e c e i v i n g a m o u l d y c h i c k e n a t

l u n c h t i m e . It w a s i m m e d i a t e l y

r e p l a c e d — w i t h a n o t h e r m o u l d y

c h i c k e n !

O n e o f t h e f i r s t c a s t i n g s o f t h e

G P O ' s n e w 1980 " K " p i l l a r b o x

w a s o f f i c i a l l y o p e n e d i n P r i n c e

C o n s o r t R o a d n e a r t h e A l b e r t

H a l l s t e p s o n T h u r s d a y , 3 1 s t

J u l y . A g r o u p o f t h i r t y w e l l - d r e s s e d

l a d i e s a n d g e n t l e m e n w e r e s e e n

d r i n k i n g a n d s m o k i n g cigars w h i l e

v i e w i n g the postbox for a b o u t three

hours . T h i s is u n d o u b t e d l y because

this r e v o l u t i o n a r y box is, to q u o t e

the G P O : " . . . s m a l l e r t h a n its

p r e d e c e s s o r y e t c a n h o l d j u s t as

m a n y l e t t e r s . It h a s a n e w - l o o k

c o l l e c t i o n plate — set at a n a n g l e

a n d u s i n g e a s y - t o - r e a d le t ter ing to

h e l p the c u s t o m e r — a n d i n c o r p o r a t e s

features g i v i n g greater securi ty a n d

safety " . T h e Post O f f i c e c l a i m s that

t h e o l d p o s t b o x e s h a v e t o b e

r e p l a c e d e v e r y t w e n t y - f i v e y e a r s ,

a n d yet the o ld -s ty le one across the

r o a d has " V . R . " e m b l a z o n e d u p o n

it.

T h e a d v a n t a g e of the new boxes

are that they are easier to m a k e a n d

the doors o n the n e w boxes c a n be

r e p l a c e d if d a m a g e d , w h e r e a s

p r e v i o u s l y the entire box h a d to be

c h a n g e d . T h e 40,000 exis t ing boxes

w i l l o n l y be r e p l a c e d as n e e d e d , not

i m m e d i a t e l y — o l d b o x e s w i l l

r e m a i n in spots w h e r e it is " e n v i r o n ­

m e n t a l l y d e s i r a b l e " .

It is interest ing to note that o n l y

six days after its off icial o p e n i n g , the

n e w b o x h a d a t t r a c t e d its first p iece

o f graffiti .

A l t } C o l e m a n ' s Vamckm

T h e O i l y D o w s o n m e m o r i a l p r i z e

for m i s l e a d i n g h e a d l i n e s was t o d a y

presented to M r . S . J . M a r s h a l l .

A c t G o d ?

O n S a t u r d a y m o r n i n g , 26th J u l y ,

l i g h t e n i n g i n d u c e d a large v o l t a g e

into I C R a d i o ' s cables in tunnels

u n d e r C o l l e g e . T h i s d e s t r o y e d most

o f the d i s t r i b u t i o n a n d line r e c e i v i n g

ampl i f iers w h i c h in t u r n d e s t r o y e d

the p o w e r s u p p l y . It took a week to

trace a l l the d a m a g e a n d I C R a d i o

is n o w b a c k o n the a i r 2-3 t imes a

w e e k b e t w e e n 6 : 0 0 — 1 1 : 0 0 p m o n

W e d n e s d a y s , F r i d a y s a n d M o n d a y s

if y o u ' r e l u c k y (?' - Ed).

C o l u t P a r W i

T h e night o f 30th J u n e a n d m o r n m g

1st J u l y m a r k e d the start o f the new

a c a d e m i c year . A g r o u p o f F E L I X

hacks c e l e b r a t e d the e n d o f C o l i n

P a l m e r ' s d e b a c l e a n d the onset o f

n e w h o p e f o r t h e n e w s p a p e r b y

e n g a g i n g in a massive p a p e r fight in

t h e F E L I X O f f i c e i n w h i c h 6 0

r e a m s o f M r . P a l m e r ' s undistributed

F E L I C E S were a c t u a l l y d i s t r i b u t e d ,

if o n l y int o the a ir . F o l l o w i n g this, a

p h o t o g r a p h o f M r . P a l m e r w a s

r i t u a l l y b u r n e d w i t h f l a m i n g issues;

this lead to a t o r c h l i g h t p r o c e s s i o n

a r o u n d the Q u a d at m i d n i g h t . S o as

not to waste the c r u m p l e d F E L I C E S

w h i c h lay w o u n d e d i n the office,

they were b u r n e d in the c e n t r e o f

t h e Q u a d ( d a r k n e s s p r e v e n t e d

l o c a t i o n o f the b a r b e q u e a r e a ) , thus

s i n g e i n g R o d e r i c k H i l l .

3i2d9

W h a t a silly n u m b e r i n g system has

b e e n u s e d f o r t h e n e w s t a i r c a s e

t e l e p h o n e s y s t e m i n S o u t h s i d e !

R a t h e r t h a n a s i m p l e t w o d i g i t

n u m b e r to signify the staircase a n d

level as for the r o o m s , (e.g. 32 for

staircase 2 level 3), the c o m p a n y

w h o i n s t a l l e d t h e s y s t e m w e r e

a l l o w e d to use s e q u e n t i a l n u m b e r s

( e . g . 3 2 i n t h e l o g i c a l s y s t e m

becomes 19). T h i s not o n l y m e a n s

that y o u c a n n o t i m m e d i a t e l y d e d u c e

the correct n u m b e r for the level a n d

staircase y o u w i s h to c o n t a c t , b u t

a l s o c a l l s f o r t h e d r a f t i n g o f y e t

a n o t h e r t e l e p h o n e list w h i c h w i l l

i n e v i t a b l y b e t o r n d o w n b y t h e

residents.

P e r h a p s a l l t h e r o o m n u m b e r s

c o u l d be c h a n g e d to d r a w t h e m i n t o

l ine w i t h the w o n d e r f u l n e w tele­

phones — that 's progress folks!

A u d cfaw&i

W h i l e o n level 32 S o u t h s i d e l o o k i n g

at the t e l e p h o n e , it was n o t i c e d that

someone h a d d r o p p e d a r e a l h u m ­

d i n g e r . T h e fire b e l l a b o v e the fire

d o o r is c o n v e n i e n t l y p o s i t i o n e d so

that w h e n the fire door is opened it

will wedge beneath the fire b e l l . W h a t

if a n a c t u a l fire s h o u l d b r e a k out?

W e c o u l d w a r n the residents o f 32

by p h o n i n g 19 o f c o u r s e !

J o i t t t t e i q t t t

Y o u m a y h a v e n o t i c e d t h a t t h e

c o m m i t t e e r o o m s o n the f o u r t h floor

o f the U n i o n B u i l d i n g h a v e n o w

been l a b e l l e d w i t h g o l d l e t t e r i n g to

a v o i d c o n f u s i o n . T o the d i s c e r n i n g

eye, h o w e v e r , the w o r d i n g looks a

l i t t l e o n t h e l o w s i d e , a s d o o r

le t ter ing is u s u a l l y at eye leve l . I n

fact, the artist , Steve T y s o n (4ft 2 in)

agrees w i t h m e but says it looks

o k a y to h i m .

l U o n a i l o l E . . .

It is p l e a s i n g to see that at last we

h a v e g o t a R e f e c t o r y C o m m i t t e e

C h a i r m a n w i t h a little sense. D r .

B o b S c h r o t e r ( a f o r m e r G u i l d s '

President) was o b s e r v e d e a t i n g at

the R o y a l C o l l e g e o f A r t o n the

14th of A u g u s t a l o n g w i t h the rest

o f I C . A q u i c k p h o n e c a l l to the

S o u t h s i d e M a i n R e f e c t o r y c o n f i r m e d

that it was, in fact, o p e n .

If y o u h a v e a n y i n t e r e s t i n g bits o f

gossip, s c a n d a l o r m e r e c o n t r o v e r s i a l

c o m m e n t , but w i s h to preserve y o u r

a n o n y m i t y , then d o n ' t w r i t e to the

l e t t e r s p a g e , w r i t e t o mc*f'*B:JJ.

W o l f e , a n d I ' l l g l a d l y take c r e d i t for

y o u r s h o c k i n g exposes.

U n d e r N e w M a n a g e m e n t

W e l c o m e to issue 559 a n d m y first attempt at p r o d u c i n g F E L I X .

Y o u wil l certainly find this issue full of news as it is the first one for

two m o n t h s a n d is somewhat of a review of those months for

those of y o u that don ' t keep your ear to the ground . T h i s is m y

first a n d last P G issue due to the fact that the ownersh ip

of the P r i n t U n i t has just been transferred to the

U n i o n f rom the Co l l ege , a n d we were f o r ced to buy our o w n

mater ia ls . A s Co l l ege generally pay t h r o u g h the nose for most

things , this necessitated the search for new suppl iers . T h i s took

four w e e k s negotiat ion, together wi th v iewing n u m e r o u s folding

m a c h i n e s (we n o w have a Fa l t ex folder, a n absolute masterpiece

of engineering!)

Y o u wil l see that I have in t roduced one o r two new features; I

have l a u n c h e d ' F i s h y Tales & T a s t y M o r s e l s ' — an article w h i c h

gathers together little snippets of news , goss ip , together with a little

subject ive c y n i c i s m has been lack ing for some t ime.

SAC

T h e less sa id the better. C a p t a i n L i n d l e y (Domest i c Secretary) and

the people w h o w o r k in the S A C office are m a k i n g complete a n d

utter dongos of themselves by the w a y they are overreact ing to

o u r perfect ly s tra ight forward invest igation of rumoured malpract ice

within S A C (we have pr inted only fact, no r u m o u r s ) . T h e sooner

L ind ley a n d S A C stop act ing as if they were the cast of a disaster

movie , the sooner this whole r id i cu lous affair will be sor ted out .

I must apologise to any P G ' s w h o are myst i f ied by o u r lead

story — w h y don ' t y o u phone up C a p t a i n L i n d l e y (int. 2216) a n d

ask h i m what it 's all about . Bes t of B r i t i s h luck !

N e x t Issue

T h e next issue wi l l be o n M O N D A Y , S e p t e m b e r 29 — the

freshers ' issue. A l l c lubs a n d societies s h o u l d get their c opy in by

S e p t e m b e r 7 ( same for F r e s h e r s ' F a i r posters) o therwise insert ion

cannot be guaranteed — I want a brief ho l iday as wel l , y o u sods!

T h e n o r m a l c o p y deadl ine for F r i d a y F E L I C E S wil l be 5:30p.m.

o n the M o n d a y before. T h i s deadl ine wil l be str ic t ly enforced.

I b id y o u farewell for now,

T h a n k s . . .

Steve Marshall

T o M a r k , T i m , S i m o n (2), D a v e (2), E r i c , M a z , Ian, S i d , D . G . ,

B . B . , a n d a n y o n e not c o m i n g instantly to m i n d .

Continued from front page

m e : " N u n c a l i m p i a n este l u g a r ? "

H i s G e r m a n fr iend b a c k e d h i m u p

b y s a y i n g : " J a , verdect ist es h i e r . "

O n e o f o u r I t a l i a n friends was a

little m o r e sarcastic : " Q u e s t o n o n

sara m i c a o d o r e d i c l ient i m o r t i ? "

T h e s e tourists s tayed a n d suffered

the consequences , but n a t u r a l l y it

w a s a l i t t l e t o o m u c h f o r t h e

A m e r i c a n p a r t y w h i c h was p a r t l y

c o m p r i s e d o f i m p r e s s i o n a b l e y o u n g ­

sters, m a n y o f w h o m were u n d e r the

age o f 16.

I a t t e m p t e d to p r o b e d e e p e r u n t i l

that m a g i c phrase : " N o c o m m e n t "

left a f o u l a f t e r - v i b r a t i o n i n m y

c o c h l e a . I posed as a n a p p l i c a n t for

the post o f a S o u t h s i d e c l e a n e r i n

the h o p e o f g a i n i n g entry to the

s h r o u d o f m y s t e r i o u s s i l e n c e t h a t

h a d e n g u l f e d t h e S A C O f f i c e .

U n t b r t u n a t e l y , I was recognised a n d

h e n c e w a s u n a b l e to g l e a n a n y

i n f o r m a t i o n c o n c e r n i n g t h e R C S

w i n d o w s ; h o w e v e r , as I t u r n e d to

leave , a s h a r p s t r o n g ref lect ion o f

the s u n p e n e t r a t e d m y r e t i n a — my

oh my, how clean the RCS windows

looked! I m m e d i a t e l y I sensed a c l e a n ­

u p o p e r a t i o n h a d been in progress

since m y i n i t i a l t e l e p h o n e c a l l to

C a p t a i n L i n d l e y . O n e o f the S A C

e m p l o y e e s later t o l d m e i n the b a r :

" F o r C h r i s t ' s sake, h o w c a n I tell

y o u a n y t h i n g w h i l e I a m s t i l l

w o r k i n g t h e r e . " S / h e w i s h e d to

r e m a i n a n o n y m o u s f o r obvious

reasons but d i d i n t i m a t e that s / h e

w o u l d be r e v e a l i n g the full story

after h i s / h e r t e r m o f e m p l o y m e n t

h a d e n d e d . ( W a t c h this space!)

IT is q u i t e c l e a r that a great d e a l

o f u n n e c e s s a r y p r e s s u r e h a s

b e e n b r o u g h t to b e a r o n t h e s e

t o r m e n t e d s o u l s i n S A C ' f r o m

a b o v e ' . It is also o f interest to note

t h a t C a p t a i n L i n d l e y a s s u r e s m e

t h a t e v e r y t h i n g is s h i p s h a p e a n d

B r i s t o l - f a s h i o n i n S A C . 0.

Fees & Grants Roundup

I n l ine w i t h G o v e r n m e n t p o l i c y , the C o l l e g e sessional fees for next session,

198071,.! w i l l be as follows:

(i) H o m e students , a n d those overseas students w h o b e g a n courses

before 1st S e p t e m b e r , 1980:

U G s — h o m e , £ 7 4 0

— overseas, £ 1 , 1 6 5

P G s — h o m e £ 1 , 1 0 5

— overseas £ 1 , 5 2 5

(ii) O v e r s e a s students (bo t h u n d e r g r a d u a t e a n d p o s t g r a d u a t e ) n e w l y

a d m i t t e d to courses i n the C o l l e g e after 1st S e p t e m b e r , 1980:

M a t h e m a t i c s — £ 2 , 0 0 0

A l l o t h e r c o u r s e s — £ 3 , 0 0 0

I n a d d i t i o n , a s tudents ' u n i o n s u b s c r i p t i o n o f £ 3 9 w i l l be l e v i e d o n e a c h

f u l l - t i m e registered s tudent for the c o m i n g session.

T h e bas ic s tudent grants for the u p c o m i n g session are :

Undergrad Postgraduate

79/80 80/81 79/80 80/81

L i v i n g a w a y f r o m h o m e / L o n d o n 1,485 1,695 2,250 2,570

L i v i n g a w a y f r o m h o m e / o u t s i d e L o n d o n 1,245 1,430 1,820 2,090

L i v i n g at h o m e 985 1,125 1,370 1,565

r

Linstead Subwardenship

All applications must be in by Wednesday, 27th

August, to Dr. M. D. Carabine, Warden, Linstead

Hall.

A further subwarden for the Hall is sought due to the

opening of the new extension. This contains 74 places,

bringing the total number of residents to 190, of which

24 will be women.

The responsibility of the person appointed will be, in

conjunction with the two continuing subwardens, to

assist the Warden in the running of the social and

financial aspects of the Hall. A rent-free flat is prouided,

suitable for a single person or married couple.

Applicants should be postgraduate students or

members of the academic or research staff. The post is

for one year initially and is renewable. People able to

offer more than one year will be especially welcome.

J

FELIX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London,

SW7 2BB. (589 5111 ext. 1048/int. 2881) Copyright FELIX 1980. Editor: S.J. Marshall, Advertising Manager: M.A. Smith. Registered at the GPO as a newspaper.