how

Kimberly McCartha August 2, 2013

Being how do you

feel

Table of Contents

Hope Care Partners

Supportive/Purpose

Closeness Education Acceptance Logic Oneself

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual

People• How you should be

Your Feelings• Right• Legitimate

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual

Dementia Experience• No one signs up

Care Partner PWD

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual Choices

Choices• GO on Journey or NOT

No set time Unknown things to come Alongside PWD Huge personal cost

Respected & Supported Not for everyone

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual

Choices• Overwhelming

Despair Anxiety Fear

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual

Choices• HOPE

Good times together Inner peace For support Exceptional care QOL

Hold onto hope – each journey is individual

Become care partners to weather the storm

‘I do not want to be mothered’

Become care partners to weather the storm

Instinct• Look after• Show care

Risk of removing rights Independency Control

Become care partners to weather the storm

Care Partners• Negotiate together• Harder than carer

• Looking after someone• Not for everyone

Being supportive involves deciding on your purpose together

Supporting PWD• Starts with PWD

Journey We join them Their shoes Empathy Choices Enabling to live

Being supportive involves deciding on your purpose together

• Common purpose• Express needs

PWD Partner

• Third Person Dementia

Include Postive

Being supportive involves deciding on your purpose together

• Common purpose• Express needs

PWD Partner

• Third Person Dementia

Include Postive

Closeness is what countsSensitive to lossesValue self esteem

Need reassurance of love/careCloseness needed

HeightenedTrust feeling rather

than factsCommunicate now

Learn about dementia –collect strategies

• EDUCATE• Ready for feeling• You expert of your

experience Publications a plus

• Person Centerd Represents rights Needs of care partner

Learn about dementia –collect strategies

• Focus on Person not disease Everything has meaning Connected to feelings

Accept someone as they are-embrace their reality

• Accept• PWD reality• Difficult• Learn their language

Language is feelings not facts

• Can’t fix them• Reality is real

Using logic and reason generally won’t work

“Thanks very much, that’s a great help. That will keep the bedding nice and clean”

Using logic and reason generally won’t work

= Feelings

= Thinking

= Action

Our Brains

Using logic and reason generally won’t work

= Feelings

= Action

PWD Brains

Using logic and reason generally won’t work

I feel and then I act

PWD Brains

Using logic and reason generally won’t work

Correcting• Highten mistake• Humiliate• Damage self

esteem

PWD Brains

Live in their world

Being person centered withoneself is important

People who are good at being a partner, being caring, being loving, are often not very goodat being careful to take care of themselves.

Being person centered withoneself is important

• Need time & space• Watch for stress• Receive support

Believe your well being matters too!

Start with being heartfelt as a person centered worker

Being person centered is about how you are with people. It is not just what you do