GUIDE

HOW TO USE THIS TOOLBOX, WITH YOUR GUIDES JOHN HARRIES AND SIOBHAN MAGGEE

• Thistoolboxconsistsofaseriesofcards.

• Oneachcardthereisatask,whichinvitesyoutoexploretheeverydaylifeoftheplaceinwhichyoufindyourself.

• Pickacardatrandomanddothetask.Ifthetaskdoesnotseemdoableintheplacewhereyoufindyourself,pickanothercard.

• Afteryoudothetask,composeashortreflectiononthisexperiencethatyoucansharewithothers.Readmoreaboutsharingyourreflectionsbelow.

• Youcanrepeatthesametaskseveraltimes,ordrawanothercardanddoanothertask.

• THAT’SIT.ITCOULDN’TBESIMPLER!(….butmaybeitisnotthatsimple…?)

BEING THERE

Someofthepeoplewhohavebeeninvolvedinputtingthisboxtogethercallthemselvesanthropologists.Anthropologistsareinterestedinhowpeoplelivetheirlives,howtheygetonwitheachother,andhowtheyorganisetheiractivitiesintopatternsofassociation,whichwesometimescallsociety.Theyarealsointerestedinhowpeoplethinkandfeelabouttheirlivesandabouttheworldaroundthem.Wesometimescallthesepractices,thoughts,feelings,andideasculture.

Anthropologistsmostlyagreethatthebestwaytocometoknowthelivesofotherpeopleisbysharingintheirlives.Youdon’tknowpeople(orforthatmattertigersorsparrows)bystaringatthemthroughthewindowoftourbus,asonewouldgawkatabigcatinazooorabirdincage.Youdon’tknowthemmuch(thoughyoudoalittle)byorderingfoodattouristrestaurantorbrowsingracksofpostcardsinasouvenirshop.

Youonlytrulycometoknowthelivesofothersby“beingthere”andbybeingtherewedon’tsimplymeanbeingphysicallythere,inPrague,KathmanduorTwillingate(lookitup,it’saniceplace).Wemeanbeingthereasakindofintimatedwellingthroughwhichyoucometofeelandknowsomethingoflifeasitislivedbeyondthelifetowhichyouarefamiliar.Thisinvolvesbeingwith:beingwithstrangersandsharingabitoftheirlives.

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Aslongaswearrivewiththeintentionofleaving,wecannot“gonative”.Whatsetslocalpeopleapartmorethananycustom,habitofdressorthought,istheirrelationshipwiththatlocality.Thisiswheretheymaketheirlife.We,incontrast,arepassingthrough.Wemaybelingeringforlongerthananormaltourist.Butwearevisitors.Muchofourlifelieselsewhere.Weknowit.Localpeopleknowittoo.Soevenasyoufamiliariseyourselfandbecomefamiliartoothers,youwillalwaysbeastrangerofsorts.Beingtheredoesmean,however,lettinggoofsomebitofthelifeweknew“backthere”intheplaceweleftbehind,andallowingourselvestobetakenbythecurrentsoflifeintheplacewefindourselves.

Thesecurrentsconsistofthosemyriadandmodesttransactionscalled“everydaylife”.Asvisitors,wemayfindourselvesdrawntothepeculiaranddramatic,toornatebuildingsandcolourfulfestivals,thelikesofwhicharelistedinguidebookswrittenforthosewhostayinaplaceaweekortwo.Theseplacesarewellworthseeing.Butinbeingthereandbecomingfamiliarwithalifethatisnotourown,weshouldparticularlyattendtotheordinary,tothatoftenpasseswithoutnotice,butinwhichsomuchofhowweinhabitandknowtheworldisrevealed.

EXPLORING EVERYDAY LIFE

Considerthesecardsasinvitationstoundertakeavoyageofdiscoveryinthecompanyoflocalpeople.ItisonethingtoleanonabarandwatchtheMontrealCanadiansandBostonBruinsplayicehockeyonthetelevision.Itisquiteanotherthingtoturn

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toapersonnexttoyouandaskthemwhotheyaresupportingand,ifyoudon’tknowthenuancesoficehockey,toexplainafewthingstoyou.Hereyouarenotjustcomingtoknowaplace,butcomingtoknowaplaceasitisinhabitedbythinking,feelingpeople.Allplacesarecomposedbythewaysthatpeoplerendertheirlivesmeaningful.Thesecardsencourageyoutoworktofindouthowlocalpeoplecomposetheirlivesthroughsmallgesturesandeverydayroutines.Onceyougettalkingandgettoknowpeople,whoknowswhereyourexplorationswilltakeyou?Oftentheywilltakeyounowhere.YoumaychatwithanelderlywomanaboutthebeautyofsunrisewhilecrossingtheBospheros,aconversationofsmilesandgesturesandmutuallyintelligiblewords,shespeakingnoEnglishandyouspeakingnoTurkish,andthatwillbethat,yousharedamomentoftogethernessandthengoyourseparateways.Othertimes,however,onethingmayleadtoanother.Youfindaparkwherelocalpeopleplaychess.Youaskifyoucanplayafewgames.Youhaveagoodtime.Winafew,loseafew.Theybuyyouacoffee.Youbuythemacoffee.Andmaybethisbecomessomethingofaroutineforyouandsoonyouareabsorbedintoasmallbitofcitylifethatmostvisitorswouldpassbywithoutaglance.

MAKINGASTORY

Youmight,wesuggest,keepadiaryoftheseadventures.Youmaywishtotakephotographsorevenshortbitsoffilm.Youmaywishtocapturethesoundsofplaceorcollectsmallsouvenirs:astained

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beermat,atake-awaymenuorastonefromabeach.Someofthecardshavespecificinstructionsastohowbestmakearecordofyouradventure.Somedonot.Butalwaysendeavourtomakearecordofsomekind.

Thisrecordisthestoryofyourexplorationsofeverydaylife.Itwillbeamessystory,disjointed,broken-up,athingofbitsandpieces,strangediversions,anddeviations.Thatisok.Infactthatisbetter.Everydaylifeismessy.Yourencounterwiththeeverydaylifebeyondthefamiliarwillbemessy.Intellingstorieswearetemptedtotidythingsup,tofillintheblanks,toexplainthings,butreallyyourstoryshouldbeastrueaspossibletotheexperienceofbeingthere,andsoshouldallowforandreflectthenonlinearnatureofthatexperience.

Inthefirstinstanceyouwillbewritingastoryforyourselfbutwewouldalsoencourageyoutowriteastoryforothers.Youmaywishtosharethesewithothersexplorersofeverydaylifeandforthisreasonweareprovidingawebsitewhichwillallowyoutoshareyourstorieswitheachother.Youmayevenwishtosharethesestorieswithpeopleyoumeetduringyourexplorations.IfyoumeetawomaninateahouseinNepalwhotakesthetimetoshowyouhowtomakemomos,littlesteameddumplingfilledwithmeatandshreddedvegetables,andyoutakeherphotographthensometimelateryoucookmomosyourself,followingherinstructions,andservethesetoyourfriends,perhapsconsideremailingorwritingalettertothiswomangivingheracopyofthephotographandtellingherofhowyoutriedtocookfromherrecipeandthankingherforspendingsometimewithyou.Thesestoriesareimportantbecausetheybindpeopletogetherandallowthosewhoknownothingoftheplaceyouhavebeenandthepeopleyouhavemettolearnalittlesomethingofsomewhereandsomeoneelse.Butmorethananythingelsethesestoriesareimportantbecauseintellingthemyoubegintoreflectonyourexperiencesand,inreflecting,gainsomeunderstanding

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ofotherpeopleandotherplaces.

Thisunderstandingshouldnotassumeabstraction.Intellingthesestoriesyoushouldnotseektotransformthespecificexperienceofyourexplorationsintogeneralisationsconcerninganother“culture”or“society”.Theriskisthatwegeneralisetooquicklyandeasilyandsoproducestereotypeswhenreally,ideally,weshouldbetryingtogobeyondstereotypesandimmerseourselvesinthedense,messyeverydaybeingofaplace.

Sointhefirstinstancetellthestoryofeverydayencounters,ofsounds,sights,smellsandtastes,ofrealwordsspokenbyrealpeople.Andremember:youarepartofthisstory.Thisisthestoryofyourexperience,youradventuresandhow,intheseadventures,youcultivateagrowingawarenessofthelifeoftheplaceyouhavechosentoexplore.Tellthatstoryinwhateverwayseemrightandworksforyouandistruetothatexperience.

MINDFUL REFLEXIVITY (OR REFLEXIVE MINDFULNESS)

InundertakingtheseexplorationsbyfollowingtheinstructionsonthesecardsyouwillbecultivatinganattitudeofMINDFULREFLEXIVITY(ormaybeREFLEXIVEMINDFULNESS).

Whileundertakingyourexplorationsofeverydaylifeyoushouldbewide-awaketothepresent.Thismayseemobvious,butweareusuallyoblivioustomostofwhatitgoingonaroundus.This

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is,inpart,becausewhatisgoingaroundusisfamiliarandsowedon’tneedtopayitmuchheed.Thisisalsobecauseweareoftenpassingthroughthepresenttowardsthefutureandsoevenasweinhabittherehereandnowwearethinkingtowardswherewearegoingnext.

Sayyoustopatashoptobuyasoftdrinkandbagofcrisps.Usuallyyouwillnotthinktoomuchaboutthisfleetingtransaction.Youwillnotthinkabouthowthecrispsarearrayedonshelves,orhowthewomanatthecashregisterhandlesmoney,orthesmallgesturesandwordsofpolitenessthataccompanytheexchangeofcoinsforsaltysnacks.Youwillbethinkaboutgettingyoursnacksandmovingon.AMINDFULexploreroftheeveryday,however,isalerttotheseverygesturesthatusuallywouldpasswithoutnotice.Theyarenotjustthinkingaboutwheretheyareheadingnext.Theyarethinkingaboutwheretheyarenowand,insodoing,awholedensityofdetailcomesintoview.

Beingmindfulisnoteasy.Butwhenyoupulloutoneofthesecardsthatinviteyoutoundertakeanadventureintotheeveryday,wesuggestthatyouadoptthisattitude.Howdoyoudothis?Well,onethingyoucandoisSLOWDOWN.Usuallywerushbythings,hurrytowardswhatevercomesnext.Ifyouslowdownthenyouwillfindyourselfseeingandhearingmore.Thismeansliterallyslowingdown.Walkmoreslowly.Sitonabenchandwatchtheworldgoby.Takeyourtimewithpeople.AnotherthingyoucandoistoELIMINATEDISTRACTION.Wecarrystuffwithustofacilitatedistraction:mobilephones,tablets,newspapers,andnovels.Thatisfine,butwhenundertakingyourexplorationsoftheeverydaygetridofallthesedistractions.Don’tbetexting,surfingtheinternet,updatingtwitteroranyofthatstuff.Bewhollyalerttothegoingsoninyoursurroundings.

TheotherwordisREFLEXIVITY.Bythiswesimplymeanthatyoushouldcreateaspacewhereyoucanreflectonyourmindful

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experiencesofbeingamongstandtalkingwithotherpeople.Thismeanscreatingaspacewhereyoucanactuallydoabitofquietandfocussedthinkingaboutyouradventures.Again,thiscanoftenquiteliterallybeamatteroffindingaspacetodothis.Fashioningsomekindofnarrativefromyourexperiencesisoneofthebestwaysofmakingsuchaspace.Bywritingthingsdown,bydrawingamap,bylookingthroughphotographs,bypullingasouvenirfromyourpocket,youbeingtothinkaboutwhathappened,aboutwhatyoulearned,aboutwhatitmaymean,abouthowothersrelatetoyouandhowyourelatetoothers.Maybeitisonlytenminutes,maybeyouwillwanttowriteforanhour,butifyougiveyourselfabitoftimetothinkaboutwhathashappenedthenyouwillfindthatyoubegintolearnfromthatexperience.

Inasensethisattitudeofmindfulreflexivityiseasiertoadoptwhenyouarevisitingafarawayplacewhereeverything,eventheslightesteverydaytransaction,isbewildering.Withoutanyfamiliaritywenaturallyadoptamindfulattitudeifonlybecausewewanttofigureouthowthingsworkandhowtogetalong(andinsodoingmakethingsfamiliar).However,onethemagicalthingsaboutadoptingatechniqueofMINDFULREFLECTIVITY(orREFLEXIVEMINDFULNESS)isthatyoucanexploretheeverydayeveninfamiliarplaces.Sayyouwalkdownthesamestreeteverydayfromwhereyoulivetowhereyouworkandstudy.Usuallywehurryonpastshopsandthepeoplewhofallbehindusaswerushtowardswhereverwearegoing.Buttryslowingyourselfdown,orientingyourselftowardsthepresent,eliminatinganydistractionsandthenfindingthetimetoreflectonyourexperiencesandyouwillmaybebeamazedhowstrangeandwonderfulthefamiliarcanbe.

Themoralisthatyoudonothavetogofartobeanexplorerofeverydaylife.Thewonderfulstrangenessofthemundaneisallaroundyou.Youjustneedtofindit.

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GETTING ON WITH PEOPLE AND STAYING SAFE (SOME RULES OF ENGAGEMENT)

Whenusingthesecardsweneedtothinkaboutafewrulesthatshouldensure,asmuchaspossible,thatthisisasafeandhappyexperience.

Someofthesemayseemalittlecontradictory,butthenmuchoftheworkofgettingtoknowthelivesofothersisaboutwalkingathinlinebetweenbeingforward(ifyoudidn’tpushyourselfforwardyouwouldneverlearnanything)andbeingrespectfulofotherpeople’sboundaries.

1. Attendtolocalcodesofpolitenessandtrytoadoptthemasmuchaspossible.Bemindfulandobservantofthemannersthatseemtogovernsocialconduct.Conformtothisetiquetteasmuchaspossible,butunderstandthatpeopleare(usually)forgivingofstrangersbecausetheyrealizethattheymaybeignorantoflocalhabits.Ifyoumakeagrosserrorofetiquettedon’tfreakout–apologise,learn,andmoveon.

2. Learnasmuchofthelocallanguageasyoucananduseit.Askpeopletoteachyouwordsandphrases(itisoftenaneasywayofstartingaconversation).Usethatlanguage,especiallygreetingsandwordsofpoliteness.Don’tbeworriedifyoumakemistakesandpeoplepointoutthesemistakestoyou(maybewhilelaughing).Nooneexpectsastrangertobefluentintheirlanguage,anditismuchbetterthatyoushowawillingnesstotry

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thantosimplyassumethatalltransactionsshouldbeginandendinyourlanguage.

3. Givecompliments.Thishelpsyougetonwithpeopleandalsoinvitesconversation.Don’tgiveexceptionallypersonalcompliments.Totellastrangerthatyouparticularlyadmirethegracewithwhichtheywalkmaybetruebutwilllikelybetakenasoverfamiliar.Butifyouareservedamealandyoufinditdeliciousthensaythateffusively.Itmayfeelstrange,butitwillalmostalwaysbeappreciatedandpeoplemaywellwarmtoyouthatlittlebitmore.

4. Reciprocityisimportant.Sociallifeiscomposedofreciprocalgestures.Ifsomeonesayshellotoyouinthestreetyoushouldsayhelloback.Todootherwisewouldberude.Thisishowreciprocityworks.Culturalcodesofreciprocitycanbecomplexandyoushouldbeattentivetothese,whileexpectingtomakemistakes.Generally,however,ifsomeoneshowsyouasmallkindnessthinkaboutawayyoucanrepaythatsmallkindnessinsuchawaythatitdoesnotseemtobeapayment(thisisadifferentkindoftransaction).Similarly,bereadytoreceivesmallkindnesseswithgraceandthankfulnessand,conversely,begenerousinperformingsmallactsofkindness.

5. Becheerfullyopentoconversationandspendingtimewithpeople.Thisenquiryintotheeverydayonlyworksifyouarewillingtotalkwithpeopleandtotalkwithpeoplemorethanyoumaybenormallywould.Inoureverydaylifewemayseeacatcurledupinbasketinalocalcafeandsaytoourselves,“whatacutecat”,andorderacoffeeandmoveon.Anexplorerofeverydaylifewouldspeaktothemanworkinginthecafeandasksay“whatalovelycat,doesitbelongtoyou?”andifhesaysyes,thenaskmorequestions(“whatishisname?”,“howoldishe?”etc.).Thisactuallyrequiressomebravery.Notallofusarecomfortableinitiatingconversationswithstrangers,butyouwill

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needtoovercomethisinhibitionandcreatesomeconversations.Butinsodoing...

6. Respectpeople’sboundaries(privatestuffisprivate).Thisvariesfromculturetoculture,butgenerallyspeakingthereisstuffthatisprivateandthatpeopledonotwishtosharewithpeoplethattheydonotknowwell.Generallyspeaking,thisprivatestuffincludesissuesconcerningthecomplexandintimateaffairsofclosefamily,detailsaboutmoneyandpropertyanddeepandcomplexfeelingsaboutlifeandlove.Certainlyitalsoincludesanyactivitiesthatanyonemaybeengagedinthatcouldbeconsidered“illegal”or“immoral”.thisstuffisnoneofyourbusinessand,untilyougettoknowsomeonewellandtheyinviteyouintoconversationaboutmoreprivatethings,youshouldnotinquireintotheseareas.Ifyoudoinquireintoanaspectofsomeone’slifeandtheyindicatetheyarenotcomfortablewiththatlineofenquiry,moveontoanother,safer,topic.

7. Seriousstuffisseriousandshouldbetalkedaboutseriously.Againthisvariesfromplacetoplaceand,aspartoflearningcodesofpoliteness,youshouldbecomesensitivetowhatissuesaretakenseriouslybylocalpeople.Generally,however,localpoliticsareaseriousbusiness,deeplyheldreligiousconvictionisaseriousbusiness,mattersofnationalprideareaseriousbusiness,sometimesevenfootballcanbeaseriousbusiness.Ifyouinviteorfindyourselfdrawnintoconversationaboutthesemattersthendiscussthesethoughtfullyandseriously.Listencarefully.Donotmakegliborjudgementalstatements.Ifpeopleaskforyourthoughtsoropinionsonthesemattersthenbetruetoyourthoughtsandopinions.DonotpretendtobelieveinGodifyouareanatheist,evenifyouarespeakingtoabeliever.Butbegentle,considerateandmoderateinstatingyourthoughtsandopinions.

8. Beopenaboutyourself(but,again,privatestuffisprivate).

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Insharingtimewithpeopleandcomingtoknowalittlebitoftheirlivesyoushouldbereadytobeopenaboutyourselfandyourownthoughtsandfeelings.Thisispartofreciprocity.Thefactofthematteristhatpeoplearelikelytobeinterestedinyou,justasyouareinterestedinotherpeopleandifthisistobearealandhumanencounterthenyoushouldbepresentasarealhumanbeing.However,justastheprivatebusinessofotherpeopleisprivate,soyoushouldnotfeelthatyouneedtobeforthcomingaboutthoseaspectsofyourlifetheyyoudonotwishtosharewithanybutthosewhoknowyoubest.Ifsomeoneenquiresaboutthemoreintimatedetailsofyourlifethen,again,youshoulddiscretelymovetheconversationontoeasiertopics.

9. Ifthingsdon’tseemright,leave(andmakesureyouhaveanexitstrategy).Peoplearegenerallygoodandconsiderateandwishnoharmonothers,butveryrarelyyoumayfindyourselffeelinguncomfortableandabitthreatenedbyasituation.Listentothosefeelingsandthengetoutofthatsituation.Ifatallpossibledosodiscretelyandgentlyandamicably.Youmay,ofcourse,beentirelywrong,butbettersafethansorry,andanywaytheseexplorationsareforfunandenlightenmentandthereisnopointcarryingonifyouaregettingupsetorfearful.Finally,morethananythingenjoyyourself.Otherpeoplearewonderful,mysterious,andsometimesfrustrating.Youcandiscovertherichnessoflifeinthesimplestofencountersifyouentertheseencountersmindfullyandarewillingtoreflect.Getoutthere.Leavethebeatentrack,evenifthisleavingisjustamatterofslowingyourstepandlookingaround.Stopandtalkwithpeople.Discoverthehumofbeingaroundyou.Itisgoodfun.

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THIS TOOLKIT WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY...

JohannaHoltan,EUSAGlobal|InstituteforAcademicDevelopmentJohnHarries,SocialAnthropology

LorenaGeorgiadou,Counselling&PsychotherapyAretiManataki,Informatics

AletteWillis,Counselling&PsychotherapySiobhanMagee,SocialAnthropology

DesignedbyDavidMcNaughton,www.davidmcnaughton.net

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