To Keep In Mind While Negotiating With Your Teen

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P R E S E N T E D B Y

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Negotiating with your teen is going to happen

more and more often, as they push boundaries and crave independence. It’s important that you come into negotiations

as best prepared as you can be; ready to listen to what they have to say, but

while still holding firm ground.

AS A PARENT YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO INSTILL GOOD VALUES IN YOUR CHILDREN. ARE YOU WORRIED THAT NEGOTIATION WITH YOUR CHILD IS GOING TO BE IMPOSSIBLE? THAT YOU WONT GET THE RESULTS YOU DESPERATELY NEED? IT’S NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK ESPECIALLY IF YOU READ OUR 3 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHILE NEGOTIATING WITH YOUR TEEN.

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If you and your child cannot communicate effectively, then any negotiations will be a waste of time. It is just as important that you listen to your child, as it is for them to listen to you. Your home should be built on a solid foundation of communication, as that is what is really needed to ensure a

happy, healthy home.

1COMMUNICATION is the K E Y.

IN ORDER FOR COMMUNICATION TO BE MOST EFFECTIVE, IMPORTANT CONVERSATIONS SHOULD ONLY BE HELD WHEN ALL PARTIES ARE CLEAR HEADED AND AREN’T HOLDING ANY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS ON BOARD. IF THINGS HEAT UP AND SOMEONE GETS UPSET OR EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED, IT’S A GOOD

IDEA TO POSTPONE CONVERSATIONS UNTIL EVERYONE HAS CALMED DOWN.

CHILDREN, ESPECIALLY DURING THE TEENAGE YEARS, TEND TO HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS BEHIND WHAT THEY SAY BUT OFTEN THINGS COME OUT HARSHLY OR

RUDELY. THIS IS PART OF THEIR DEVELOPMENTAL PROCESS, AS THEY

AGE THEY WILL LEARN MORE ABOUT TACT AND THAT HOW YOU SAY THINGS MATTERS AS MUCH AS WHAT YOU SAY. HOWEVER, FOR THE MEAN TIME YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO REMIND THEM, WHILE FOCUSING ON WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AND NOT SO MUCH HOW THEY ARE SAYING IT.

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If you’re asking to negotiate with your child, it means that

there is either something you do not agree on, or there has been an ongoing problem that you would like a solution for. Either way, you need to isolate what the underlying issues is and what you would like the ultimate result to be. After then, you need to discuss this openly with your child and you will need to take into consideration their opinion on things. Life is all about perspective and taking the time

to understand your child’s perspective might help you understand more where they are coming from.

2Recognize and CLEARLY define the problem.

WHEN EXPLAINING THE PROBLEM AND THE

SOLUTION YOU WOULD IDEALLY WANT, AVOID BEING TOO LONG WINDED. YOU WANT TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE AS CONCISELY AS POSSIBLE, AS TO NOT OVERWHELM, UPSET OR OUTRIGHT FRUSTRATE YOUR CHILD. AS AN ADULT, WITH A WEALTH OF LIFE EXPERIENCES, YOU ARE IN A MUCH BETTER POSITION TO DISCUSS CONCEPTS IN GENERAL.

YOUR CHILD ON THE OTHER HAND IS DEVELOPING RAPIDLY, CHANGING SIGNIFICANTLY AND IS LEARNING HOW TO BE MORE OF AN INDEPENDENT PERSON. BY EXPLAINING THINGS SIMPLY AND NOT OVERWHELMING THEM,

ALL WHILE ADDRESSING THE ISSUE CLEARLY, YOU WILL GET THE BEST RESPONSE POSSIBLE.

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This means if things heat up in the discussion, you

need to walk away. Often children have a lot more to gain from arguing than parents. Children

will frequently use arguments as a way to leverage the parents; to either change their mind or to at least minimize what they have decided. There is little benefit to

arguing with your teen, in fact they generally get all of the benefits.

3Preserve Your RELATIONSHIP…

WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED OUT OR UPSET BY YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOR IT IS EASY TO GET OVERWHELMED AND EMOTIONAL. IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE AS CLEAR HEADED AS POSSIBLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN TRYING TO ENGAGE IN NEGOTIATIONS. IF YOU ARE FEELING THAT IT IS GETTING TO BE TOO MUCH, YOU CAN SIMPLY

EXPLAIN TO YOUR CHILD THAT THIS NEGOTIATION IS VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU, BUT YOU THINK IT’S BEST YOU TAKE A BIT OF SPACE TO COOL OFF BEFORE CONTINUING. RARELY ANY GOOD LONG TERM PROGRESS COMES FROM HEATED ARGUMENTS OR WHEN PEOPLE ARE

EMOTIONALLY CHARGED, SO DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO PRESERVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND AVOID CONFLICT WITH YOUR CHILD.

NEGOTIATION IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF LIFE, WHETHER REFERRING TO RAISING YOUR CHILD OR NEGOTIATING A NEW EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT AT A NEW JOB. IT CAN BE AWKWARD BEING SO UPFRONT WITH OUR NEEDS AND WANTS, BUT IT IS A REALLY IMPORTANT SKILL TO MASTER. BY NEGOTIATING WITH YOUR CHILD YOU ARE NOT ONLY ENSURING THEY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU NEED FROM THEM AT HOME, BUT YOU ARE TEACHING THEM THE IMPORTANT OF GOOD,

CLEAR COMMUNICATION.

Are you ready to negotiate with

your child now?

Click On The Above Logo To Find Out More About How to Negotiate With Your Child.

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A B O U T J A D E

Adolescents Coach. Published Author. Wrote books on Parenting Teens. Devoted 18+ years to make parent teens relationship work.

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