How To Give And Receive Constructive

Criticism

Proverbs 27:6

Introduction• Matthew 7:1-5

• We may need some help to remove that beam.– Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”

– Romans 15:4

– Sometimes it takes courage to warn or instruct a person so that are built up spiritually.

Biblical Instructions

• Proverbs 12:1, 15

• Proverbs 23:12

• Proverbs 13:18

• Proverbs 25:12

• Ephesians 4:15

Biblical Instructions

• All Of Us Are Imperfect– Husbands & wives, parents / children, etc. need

help from each other.

– Proverbs 16:2

• The problem isn’t criticism, but destructive criticism!

• Criticism must build up and

not tear down!

How To Criticize Constructively• Choose your setting carefully – Timing is

everything!– Do so after a meal and not when hungry.

• Esther– Criticize in private – praise in public!– Consider the other’s feelings!

• How do you know when it is ok?• You Ask.

• Don’t share until you are surethe other person is ready!

H.A.L.T.• Never Criticize when the

other is:

–Hungry

–Angry

–Lonely

–Tired

Don’t Give An Overdose

• A common failure is to “pour it on”!

• Overdosing kills the motivation to change

• Suggestion: Only 1 criticism per week.– That ought to be enough. That’s 52 per year.

• Most don’t realize how critical they’ve become– Proverbs 17:9

• CRITICISM FAST!

• Easy Answer?– Ask for criticism occasionally

Couple Criticism With Compliments• Revelation 2:1-4 – Notice 3:1 ratio• “To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, 'These things says He who

holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 "I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 "and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. 4 "Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love”

– “The bitter pill of criticism can be swallowed much easier

if first sugar coated with the medicine of

sincere praise”

– “A spoon full of sugar helps the

medicine go down” - Mary Poppins

Do You Receive Criticism Constructively?

• Recognize the hand of God – Romans 8:28• First Words: Thank You – I Thes 5:18

– Three reasons:• Said to your face• If true - opportunity to change and grow• If not - opportunity to correct misunderstanding

• Always ask: What can I learn?• Take Action If Possible!• Never give same criticism twoweeks in a row

What About Things That Won’t Change?

• I Peter 4:8 “Love will cover a multitude of sins”– Some things you will need to accept!

• Otherwise, anger turns to bitterness & depression

“He who covers a transgression seeks love” – Proverbs 17:9