How to get out of people pleaser nation
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Transcript of How to get out of people pleaser nation
How to Get Out of
People Pleaser
Nation…
By: Kassandra Bibas
http://www.kassandrabibas.com
What’
s yo
ur
people
ple
asi
ng b
utt
on?
Avo
idin
g
Conflic
t?
Earn
ing
aff
ect
ion?
Fam
ily
Oblig
ati
ons?
Clim
bin
g t
he
corp
ora
te
ladder?
Hid
ing t
he r
eal
you b
ehin
d ‘Ye
s’?
The Problem isn’t
seeking approval
It’s NEEDING it…
The
Diff
ere
nce
…Seeking
I’d like you
to be
interested in
how I’m
pursuing my
dream…”
Needing
I won’t move
forward with
my dream if
you’re not
behind me
on it.”
Living life
on yo
ur o
wn
term
s com
es a
t a
price
…
Pick battles big enough
to matter, small
enough to win.” –
Jonathan Kozel
You’ll
have
to
say
no t
o
oth
ers
…
And y
es
to y
ou…
You’ll have to disappoint users,
disown emotional vampires, &
forget about being the ‘nice’ one…
HINT: Being the ‘nice’ one is overrated…
You’ll
have
to h
old
firm
on y
our
posi
tion…
While
lett
ing g
o o
f th
e n
egati
ve ju
nk…
But beware of 3 traps
to your exit from
people pleaser nation…
BLA
ME…
SH
AM
E…
GU
ILT…
“Nothing other people do is
because of you.
It is because of themselves.”
- Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four
Agreements
5 W
ays to
Sto
p
People
Ple
asin
g
1. Give yourself 24
hours to say
‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to
any request.
2. Do 15 minutes
of a self esteem
building activity
before going
into a “No”
conversation
3. Carve out your
3-4 non-
negotiable
activities and do
those BEFORE
you do favors
for anyone else
4. Do a friendship
inventory & cut
out any ties that
are one sided (if
someone only
calls when they
need something,
change your
number)
5. Know that you
have the right to
say no to
anyone or
anything and
make feeling
guilt about it an
option you don’t
take
At
the e
nd o
f th
e
day,
it’s
up t
o y
ou…
“Find your voice to
ask for what you
want. Everybody has
the right to tell you
no or yes, but you
always have the right
to ask.”
-Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four
Agreements