How to Deal with Anger, Frustration and Resentment

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Gita Yoga Gita Yoga How to Deal with How to Deal with Anger, Frustration Anger, Frustration and Resentment. and Resentment. by by Andre Gray Andre Gray

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Transcript of How to Deal with Anger, Frustration and Resentment

Page 1: How to Deal with Anger, Frustration and Resentment

Gita YogaGita YogaHow to Deal with Anger, How to Deal with Anger,

Frustration and Resentment.Frustration and Resentment.

byby

Andre GrayAndre Gray

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ContentsContentsThe Energy of AngerThe Energy of AngerThe Origin of AngerThe Origin of AngerThe 3 Catalysts of AngerThe 3 Catalysts of AngerThe 4 Possible Responses to AngerThe 4 Possible Responses to AngerAcceptanceAcceptanceIn SummaryIn Summary

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The Energy of AngerThe Energy of Anger

There are 3 Energies of Nature (There are 3 Energies of Nature (PrakritiPrakriti))

SattvaSattva - Preservative - Preservative RajaRaja - Creative - Creative TamaTama - Degenerative - Degenerative

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The Energy of AngerThe Energy of Anger

Anger is born of the 2Anger is born of the 2ndnd energy of energy of nature; nature; RajaRaja, the creative energy., the creative energy.

There is a story in the There is a story in the PuranasPuranas of Vedic India of Vedic India regarding anger, its energy and the effect it had regarding anger, its energy and the effect it had on a particular family. Go to on a particular family. Go to www.GitaYoga.netwww.GitaYoga.net and click on recordings to listen.and click on recordings to listen.

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The Origin of AngerThe Origin of Anger The origin, progression The origin, progression

and effect of anger is and effect of anger is systematically and systematically and methodically described methodically described in the 2in the 2ndnd chapter of the chapter of the Gita.Gita.

This list is taken from This list is taken from that description. I have that description. I have left out the Sanskrit to left out the Sanskrit to allow for brevity and allow for brevity and clarity.clarity.

Contemplation Contemplation AttachmentAttachmentCravingCravingANGERANGERDelusionDelusionLoss of memoryLoss of memoryLoss of judgment and a Loss of judgment and a sense of right and wrongsense of right and wrongRegretRegret

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The Origin of AngerThe Origin of Anger

ContemplationContemplation: To be concerned with : To be concerned with external objects of sensual gratification.external objects of sensual gratification.

AttachmentAttachment: The erroneous belief that : The erroneous belief that said objects of sensual gratification are said objects of sensual gratification are the source of happiness.the source of happiness.

CravingCraving: The will to pursue and achieve : The will to pursue and achieve said objects of sensual gratification.said objects of sensual gratification.

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The Origin of AngerThe Origin of Anger

Anger:Anger: An attachment revealed. An attachment revealed.

Anger reveals the existence of an attachment.Anger reveals the existence of an attachment.

Attachments (erroneous beliefs) steal and Attachments (erroneous beliefs) steal and hamper our ability to experience true spiritual hamper our ability to experience true spiritual happiness (happiness (Brahma-anandaBrahma-ananda).).

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The Three Types of Catalysts that The Three Types of Catalysts that Ignite Our AngerIgnite Our Anger

1) When we cannot achieve the object of our 1) When we cannot achieve the object of our attachment.attachment.

2) When there are unforeseen consequences 2) When there are unforeseen consequences after we have attained the object of our after we have attained the object of our attachment.attachment.

3) When the object of our attachment is 3) When the object of our attachment is threatened or taken away.threatened or taken away.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

1) Repression: “I shouldn’t be angry”.1) Repression: “I shouldn’t be angry”.

- Here we tend to blame ourselves or - Here we tend to blame ourselves or minimize, deny and invalidate our minimize, deny and invalidate our feelings and upset. We then try to feelings and upset. We then try to distract ourselves with TV, food, work distract ourselves with TV, food, work etc. etc.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

2) Suppression: “I shouldn’t show my anger”2) Suppression: “I shouldn’t show my anger”

- This generally happens when friends, - This generally happens when friends, family and loved ones cause us upset. family and loved ones cause us upset. This can also be evident in relationships This can also be evident in relationships with persons in a position of authority over with persons in a position of authority over us. Here we may resort to the same us. Here we may resort to the same distractions as mentioned previously.distractions as mentioned previously.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

3) Aggression: “I should vent my anger.”3) Aggression: “I should vent my anger.”

Aggression manifests in 3 ways:Aggression manifests in 3 ways:

1)1) Active AggressionActive Aggression2)2) Passive AggressionPassive Aggression3)3) Redirected AggressionRedirected Aggression

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

3) Aggression3) Aggression

Active AggressionActive Aggression

This is to lash out verbally and/or physically. It feels good This is to lash out verbally and/or physically. It feels good initially but has long-term, negative consequences. initially but has long-term, negative consequences.

““Speak when you are angry and you will give the best Speak when you are angry and you will give the best speech you will ever regret”.speech you will ever regret”.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

3) Aggression3) Aggression

Passive AggressionPassive Aggression

Here we may be sarcastic, demeaning and insulting to Here we may be sarcastic, demeaning and insulting to others. We may criticize and undermine others in their others. We may criticize and undermine others in their absence. The sinister nature of passive aggression is absence. The sinister nature of passive aggression is that it can appear innocent and/or be easily explained that it can appear innocent and/or be easily explained away.away.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

AggressionAggression

Redirected AggressionRedirected Aggression

Here our anger pours forth onto the innocent. We have a Here our anger pours forth onto the innocent. We have a difficult day at work and we go home and abuse our difficult day at work and we go home and abuse our family. Our luggage goes to Anchorage as we arrive in family. Our luggage goes to Anchorage as we arrive in Bermuda and we give what-for to the hapless airline Bermuda and we give what-for to the hapless airline clerk.clerk.

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The Four Responses to AngerThe Four Responses to Anger

4) Acceptance: “I will acknowledge my 4) Acceptance: “I will acknowledge my anger”.anger”.

- Here we accept, acknowledge and OWN our - Here we accept, acknowledge and OWN our anger. We recognize that we are the source anger. We recognize that we are the source of our anger and are therefore the only ones of our anger and are therefore the only ones with the power to identify it, address it and with the power to identify it, address it and effect a transformation.effect a transformation.

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The Two Parts to AcceptanceThe Two Parts to Acceptance

1)1) The CauseThe Cause

The cause is a particular attachment. This we will The cause is a particular attachment. This we will compare to dynamite.compare to dynamite.

2) The Catalyst2) The Catalyst

The catalyst is the circumstance, event or person. The catalyst is the circumstance, event or person. This we will compare to a match.This we will compare to a match.

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AcceptanceAcceptance Anger is an attachment revealed. We become Anger is an attachment revealed. We become

angry (explode) when a particular angry (explode) when a particular circumstance or person (catalyst) ignites the circumstance or person (catalyst) ignites the dynamite (attachments) we have stored within dynamite (attachments) we have stored within ourselves.ourselves.

Catalysts must of course be dealt with but the Catalysts must of course be dealt with but the key is to deal with the cause (remove the key is to deal with the cause (remove the dynamite). In acceptance we recognize that dynamite). In acceptance we recognize that our attachments are the cause of our anger our attachments are the cause of our anger and resentments.and resentments.

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AcceptanceAcceptance

In acceptance we identify and then root In acceptance we identify and then root out the attachment (the erroneous belief out the attachment (the erroneous belief that happiness is derived from and that happiness is derived from and dependant upon sensual gratification).dependant upon sensual gratification).

To root out these erroneous beliefs we To root out these erroneous beliefs we must attain must attain Brahma-anandaBrahma-ananda (spiritual (spiritual happiness) which is achieved by the happiness) which is achieved by the practice of practice of SadhanaSadhana..

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In SummaryIn Summary

Anger is an attachment revealed.Anger is an attachment revealed.

An attachment is merely a belief, an An attachment is merely a belief, an erroneous belief, that happiness resides erroneous belief, that happiness resides outside of us and in things, people and outside of us and in things, people and circumstances.circumstances.

To deal with anger find the attachment.To deal with anger find the attachment.

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In SummaryIn Summary

When you have identified the attachment you When you have identified the attachment you can try to satisfy it (I do not recommend this can try to satisfy it (I do not recommend this course of action as you will eventually have to course of action as you will eventually have to deal with another attachment later on) or you deal with another attachment later on) or you can cultivate and achieve can cultivate and achieve Brahma-anandaBrahma-ananda and and experience the reservoir of spiritual happiness experience the reservoir of spiritual happiness that resides within each of us.that resides within each of us.

The attainment of The attainment of Brahma-anandaBrahma-ananda is not easily is not easily accomplished and, like all worthy endeavors, accomplished and, like all worthy endeavors, requires consistent and diligent practice.requires consistent and diligent practice.

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