How Kids DevelopTraining Manual

Developed and produced byChildren,Youth and Families – Family and Consumer Sciences

MICHIGAN STATEU N I V E R S I T Y

EXTENSION

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Building Strong Families:Parenting Young Children –

How Kids Develop

Contents Page No.

Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2

Newborn to 3 MonthsEating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3Bowel Movements. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5Sucking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6Senses and the Need for Stimulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Crying . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8Colic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

4 to 6 MonthsGrasping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10Rolling Over . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11Solid Foods . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12Bottle-feeding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

7 to 12 MonthsTeething . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14Babbling . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15Fears . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16Crawling, Pulling, Climbing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17Feeding . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18Dropping and Throwing Things . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

12 to 24 MonthsToilet Training . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20Walking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21Picky Eaters . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23Independence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24Accidents. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

24 to 36 MonthsToilet Training . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26Thumb Sucking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27Dressing Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28Biting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29Stuttering. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30Bed-wetting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31“Twos”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

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Acknowledgements

This training manual was developed by theFamily and Consumer Sciences Program,

Michigan State University Extension,to accompany the

Building Strong Families:Parenting Young Children

Educational Flipchart

Special thank you to:

Pam Boyce, M.A.Jeanne Brown, Ph.D.

Beverly Schroeder, Ph.D.

For more information about the Building Strong Families program, contact:

Jodi Spicer (Curriculum Sales)Dawn Contreras, Ph.D. (Program Content)

Building Strong FamiliesFamily and Consumer Sciences

Michigan State University Extension240 Agriculture Hall

East Lansing, MI 48824

Telephone: 517-353-9102Fax: 517-353-4846

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The only food a new babyneeds is milk. Babies canbe either breast-fed or

bottle-fed. Most women whobreast-feed can produce enoughmilk for their babies. Breast-feeding has many advantages. It isnature’s original “fast food” and ismore convenient and lessexpensive than formula.The firstfew feedings contain a yellowishfluid called colostrum. Colostrumand early breast milk are high incertain proteins and zinc, whichgive the baby immunity fromvarious bacteria and viruses thatenter the intestine.

It’s in the baby’s interest tosupport the mother in whateverdecision she makes. It is oureducational responsibility toprovide a mother with therelative merits of each type offeeding and help her understandher feelings in this area.

Mothers on medication mustcheck with their doctors to see ifit is advisable to breast-feed whiletaking the medication. Alcohol,amphetamines and other drugsare transferred to the babythrough breast milk. Cocaine isalso passed through breast milk.Any of these drugs can harm thebaby.

If the mother chooses to bottle-feed, have her ask her doctorwhich formula is best for herbaby. Formula can be purchasedat the grocery store. Use formulafor the first year. For the first sixto nine months, the baby shouldnot drink cow’s milk, includingVitamin D milk, skim milk or anyother milk that adults and olderchildren drink. Do not useevaporated milk, even watereddown. Do not use low-fat, skimor 2 percent milk for the firsttwo years of life.

When the formula is mixed,sterilize the bottles and nipples.Keep formula refrigerated after itis mixed. If it is kept at roomtemperature too long, germs andbacteria will grow in it. Neverreuse a bottle without washingand sterilizing it.The baby can getsick from an unclean bottle.

Thrush infection can be causedby an unclean bottle.Thesymptoms of thrush infectioninclude little white sores in thebaby’s mouth and sometimes onhis gums, which may bleed a little.The baby should see a doctor, butin the meantime he could begiven half an ounce of cooled,boiled water.

Newborn to 3 Months:Eating

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Babies usually have severalbowel movements a day.Their bowel movements do

not look like adult bowelmovements. A breast-fed baby’sbowel movement is usually a lightyellow color and may be pasty orrunny like thick cream soup.A bottle-fed baby’s bowelmovement sometimes looks likescrambled eggs.

A baby has diarrhea when hisbowel movements becomefrequent and watery andsometimes greenish. Diarrhea canbe caused by diet or a dirty bottleor bottle nipple.

Diarrhea can also happen whenthere is an infection, so thebaby may have a fever and maybe vomiting. Diarrhea, vomitingand fever can cause the babyto lose body fluids and becomedehydrated.This is dangerousfor a young infant.

If an infant has diarrhea, feed himabout 2 ounces of liquid every hourand get medical assistance. If thebaby is under 6 months of age, takethe baby to the doctor right away. Ifthe baby is under 1 year, call thedoctor the same day. If the baby isunder 3 years of age, call thedoctor within 24 hours.

To tell if an infant is dehydrated,check to see if his mouth is dry andif he is wetting as often and asmuch as usual. If he is wetting lessor his mouth is dry, continue to tryto get him to take liquids.

Newborn to 3 Months:Bowel Movements

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New babies sleep fromfeeding to feeding. Oftenthey cannot tell the

difference between night and day.They spend most of a 24-hour daysleeping, waking up only to eat andto have their diapers changed. Buteach baby is different and sleepsdifferent hours. Because new babiessleep and wake up often, parentshave a hard time getting regularsleep.

Eventually, babies start sleeping allnight.When the baby is about amonth old, he will start sleeping forlonger periods of time.

Most babies sleep through the nightwhen they are three months old orwhen they weigh 12 pounds.

Mothers who are not allowed toget much sleep may get angry andupset easily because they are sotired.They need to take it easy andtry not to do too much.Theirawake time activities should bekept simple. Encourage them totake naps when their babies sleepand to seek help from family orfriends when they are very tired.

Newborn to 3 Months: Sleep

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Sucking is very important tobabies.They will suck anythingthat comes to their lips. Some

babies suck their thumbs beforethey are born; others start afterthey are born. Sucking not onlyhelps babies get food andnourishment but also helps babiesexplore and learn about objects.

Babies and young children may goon sucking their thumbs orpacifiers until their permanentteeth come in at around 6 years ofage. Sucking a pacifier, thumb orfingers is a way that a young infanthas to comfort himself. It will nothurt his thumb or mouth.The needfor sucking usually goes away on itsown, especially if the parent doesnot try to make the child give it up.

Newborn to 3 Months:Sucking

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New babies can do morethings during the first fewmonths than most people

realize. For example, they can see,hear, smell, taste and feel minutesafter birth.They can even hearbefore they are born! These sensesneed to be exercised for them todevelop at a normal rate. Babiescan see about 8 inches from theirfaces right after they are born, butnormal vision takes a while. Babiescan also cry right away, and atabout 1 month, they begin to makeother noises, such as cooing.

Newborn to 3 Months:Senses and the Need

for Stimulation

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Crying is a baby’s way ofasking for help.All babiescry; some cry more than

others. Some take longer tosoothe than others. Crying is anatural way for babies tocommunicate that they areuncomfortable. Any crying is aform of communication, andresponding to these cries helpsbuild a close, trusting relationship.

Because crying indicates a need, itis important to respond rightaway. This will not spoil the baby.At this age, babies are too youngto understand intention andconsequences. If their needs aremet and they are madecomfortable, they will realize thatthey can depend on the parent.

Bell and Ainsworth, tworesearchers on infant crying,found that newborn babies whowere picked up when they criedcried less than babies who werenot picked up, once they were ayear old.These babies at 12months also had a greater varietyof ways to express their needsand tended to have more secureattachments than those babieswho were allowed to cry. Whenthey did cry, it was short burstsrather than loud, long cries.Thus,when babies’ cries are answered,they learn to trust in theircaregivers and the rest of theworld. Answering the early criesdoes not mean they will nevercry, but they will probably cry lessoften.

A baby has different cries thatexpress different feelings andsensations. There are a fewdistinct cries that are common:

“I’m hurting” – When babies arein pain, they cry in anunmistakable way. It usually beginsas a shrill scream, followed by asilent period and a series of shortgasps.Then it is repeated.

“I’m hungry” – This cry startsslowly and builds to a loud,demanding rhythm. Food isusually the first thing thought ofwhen a hunger cry is heard. Evenif the infant just finished nursing,she may still want a snack. If theinfant makes the hunger cry butdoes not want food, she many be“hungering” for the caregiver’sattention and stimulation. Infantsneed attention as well as food atfeeding time.

“I’m upset” – The mild, fussy crymay appear when the infant istired or in a bad mood. If thisfussing is ignored, it becomeslouder. It usually sounds moreforced than the hunger cry.Infants will also cry to showdiscomfort, anger, and otherphysical and emotional states.

Newborn to 3 Months: Crying

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Colic does not affect allinfants. But babies withcolic cry because of pain

in their stomachs.The piercing,prolonged crying occurs aboutthe same time each day, usuallyearly evening. About 20 percentof babies suffer from colic.

Although the exact cause of colicis unknown, there are varioustheories. For example, somebelieve it can be several things: animmature digestive system;assorted allergies, especially tocow’s milk; maternal hormonestransmitted through breast milk;the baby eating too much or toolittle; or tension in the family.Others feel that it is only a labelgiven to any baby who cries a lot.

A colicky baby will cry when sheis held and when she is lyingdown. Usually, colic continuesuntil the infant is three or fourmonths old.

Newborn to 3 Months:Colic

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Babies at this age have avoluntary grasp that isclumsy at first but

gradually improves as they getolder.They can now hold ontothings they want, not just thingsplaced in their hands.Voluntarygrasping gives them greatpleasure. During this time, theywill reach for nearby objects.Toreach and grasp is quite acomplicated process involvingeye-hand coordination.To achieveeye-hand coordination is a majoraccomplishment for an infant. Itnot only enables them to exploreactively but is fundamental tomany other skills that they willneed throughout life.

Now that they can grasp thingsand have begun developing eye-hand coordination, they will putthings in their mouths.This is alsoa way of exploring objects.

Because babies usually putobjects in their mouths, do notgive toys that are sharp, canbreak, come apart or are smallenough to be swallowed. Babieslearn about their world byputting things in their mouths. Itis their way of feeling. Clean, safeobjects over 11⁄2 inches squarecan be given to them to handleand explore.

4 to 6 Months:Grasping

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As the baby’s back,neck and limbsbecome stronger,

he may be able to rollover suddenly. Mostbabies begin rolling overfrom back to stomach ataround 4 or 5 months.At first, they will rock uponto their sides and rollonto their backs. Withmore practice, they canroll over. This abilitygives them better controland opportunities forexploring. They can getin a better position for

examining the environment andcan roll to get closer to thingsthey want to see or handle.

It is important to be careful witha baby this age who may not berolling over yet because he maybegin rolling over at any time.

• Always keep the crib sideslocked and lower the cribmattress at least a notch.

• Strap the baby in an infant seat.Do not place the seat near theedge of a table or counter orany other above-the-floor

surface. If the baby wriggles atall, he could capsize his seat.

• Never leave the baby on araised surface when you leavethe room.

• Never leave the baby alone on acouch, changing table or bed.

• Never leave the baby alone inhis bath.

• Strap him securely in his strollerand car seat.

4 to 6 Months:Rolling Over

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The digestive system ofinfants can better handlesolid foods beginning

around 5 to 6 months of age.They are beginning to drool, andthis helps them to swallow easier.They are becoming able toswallow solids by moving themfrom the front to the rear of themouth with their tongues.Youngbabies under 4 months will gagon solid foods. Gagging is a reflexthey are born with. It helpsprevent them from choking if anobject gets too far back in theirmouths.

They are now old enough toshow the desire to eat by leaningforward and opening theirmouths to take another bite.

The best first solid food is ricecereal mixed with formula orbreast milk. After a few weeks,try finely mashed fruits andvegetables such as peaches,applesauce, peas, sweet potatoesor squash.

Some tips on introducing solidfoods:

• Use a small spoon at first andhold it a little inside the baby’slips so the baby can suck in thefood. If he has trouble with thespoon, he could suck the foodoff his mother’s clean finger thefirst few times.

• For the first meal of the daywhen the baby is exceptionallyhungry, he probably will nottake the spoon with the solidfood. Give milk first to reducehunger, then give solids on aspoon.

• For the first meals with solids,alternate between liquids andsolids. Most of the baby’snutrients still come from milk.

• Because the infant’s salivacauses the food to break down,do not feed him directly from ajar. If he does not finish theentire jar, it will have to bediscarded (his saliva will bepassed to the food on thespoon). It is best to put food ina dish and if any remains in thedish, throw it away.

4 to 6 Months: Solid Foods

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Ababy still needs to beheld during feeding tofeel secure and loved, but

there are other reasons forholding a baby while bottle-feeding.

A baby can choke on the liquid inthe bottle if not watched. If ababy is lying flat, the liquid canrun into the ear tubes and causeear infections that are not onlypainful for the baby but expensiveto have treated.

Too often a bottle containingsweetened liquids is misused as apacifier to comfort the infant orcontrol behavior.This practice canlead to a condition called “bottlemouth” in which the teeth ofinfants and preschoolers aredestroyed by tooth decay.

Bottle mouth is severe toothdecay caused by too much bottlenursing outside of normal feedingtimes. Bottle mouth occurs whena baby nurses too frequently andfor long periods of time, such aswhen the bottle is used as apacifier or when a baby is put tobed with a bottle at night or atnaptime. It can also occur whenthe baby is given sweetenedliquids such as sugar water andsoft drinks, such as pop and Kool-

Aid. Often the tooth decay doesnot show up until months oryears after a baby’s teeth startcoming in.

Decay happens when sugar mixeswith plaque (a sticky, colorlessfilm on the teeth).Together theyform an acid that attacks thetooth enamel. Not only aresweetened drinks possible acidmakers, but even formula, milkand fruit juices contain sugar.Thelonger the liquid stays around thebaby’s teeth, the greater thechance for decay.That is why it isso harmful to use the bottle as apacifier.

4 to 6 Months:Bottle-feeding

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The average infant cutsteeth around 6 1/2months. Cutting teeth is

probably not nearly asuncomfortable for babies as manypeople think. Fussiness andcrankiness during this time arenot necessarily due to cuttingteeth. A baby who is running atemperature, vomits, does not eatand/or rubs his ears is ill. It isimportant that a mother doesnot ignore these symptoms andassume they are due to teething.

If, however, the baby really seemsrestless and irritable when cuttinga tooth and has no symptoms ofillness, then a chewing toy mightrelieve the uncomfortable feeling.Chewing is good for babiesanyway. Some babies like coolthings in their mouths.

Some teething rings have a gelfilling that cools and holds its lowtemperature if placed in therefrigerator beforehand.

It is important that a mother notput ice or rub unwrapped ice onaffected gums. It could camagethe covering of the gum becausethe ice is too cold. Instead, themother could dip her fingers inice-cold water and rub her baby’sgums.

Do not rub teething gel on aninfant’s gums unlessrecommended by a doctor. Someof these gels contain localanesthetics that may harm aninfant. Some have aspirin-likechemicals that could overdosethe baby. Some contain alcohol;others contain sugar.

7 to 12 Months: Teething

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Babies babble at this age.Babbling is an importantmilestone in language

development.The baby makessounds that combine vowels andconsonants such as “bababababa”or “mamamamamama” or“dadadadadada.” Babbling helpsdevelop the muscles of thesound-producing apparatus, andwhen the infant associates certainmovements of the throat, tongueand lips with certain sounds, thenew skill is practiced.There is arelationship between babbling andlater speech.

It is important that a parentresponds to her infant’s vocalsounds. An infant can begin toconnect sounds with meanings ifthe parent responds to thebabbling.This is an important stepto communicating with soundsthat leads to the development oflanguage.

The parent can help by imitatingthe sounds the baby makes andtalking to the baby often. She canplay pat-a-cake and encouragetalking by talking to the baby andpausing to give the baby a chanceto answer. Even if the babyresponds in ways other thanbabbling, like smiling or armwaving, the lesson thatconversations are a “two-waystreet” is learned. Repeatingwords is helpful, such as “look,look” or ending words with an“ee” sound such as “doggie” or“kitty.” It is important to speakclearly so she can hear eachword.

7 to 12 Months:Babbling

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Stranger anxiety andseparation anxiety becomeevident during this age.

Stranger anxiety is the negativeresponse to an unfamiliar adult.Separation anxiety refers tocrying, fretting and otherdistressed behavior expressed byan infant when her parent orother significant person leaves.Stranger and separation anxietyare thought to be a baby’s firstreal negative emotions.The babycan now tell the differencebetween parents and otherpeople.

7 to 12 Months: Fears

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7 to 12 Months:Crawls, Pulls Self Up,Walks Around Things

and Climbs

Babies begin to crawlaround 8 months. Nextthey start pulling

themselves up by hanging ontofurniture. Between 11 and 12months most babies begin to walkwhile holding onto furniture suchas the sofa or other low, sturdyobjects. Some babies can climbbefore they can walk aroundobjects.

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The very beginning of self-feeding occurs during thisperiod. Babies have fairly

good arm and hand skills, andthey show a genuine interest intaking part at mealtimes such asgrabbing for the spoons or tryingto pick up bits of food.Theseattempts should be encouraged.Self-feeding is closely related tothe development of fine motor

skills (being able to use theirfingers).The better an infant cangrasp a small chunk of food, themore likely it is he will get it intohis mouth. First, an infant willgrasp his food using his thumband two or more fingers.Then hecan grasp his smaller bits of foodusing a pincer grasp — that is,using only the thumb and the firstfinger.

Foods that are soft and crumblyare best because infants are lesslikely to choke on them. It is bestto avoid berries, citrus fruits,wheat products, corn, peanutbutter, fish and egg whites at thisage because many babies areallergic to them.

7 to 12 Months:Feeding

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7 to 12 Months:Drops and Throws Things

Babies love to drop andthrow things. Babies needpractice not only holding

objects but releasing them whenand where they want. They canpractice without having to beaccurate. They enjoy practicingthis new releasing ability againand again. After they startthrowing things, they find thatdifferent objects move differentways and make different soundswhen they land. Thus droppingand throwing provides a way tolearn more about an object’sproperties.

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Afew months after the firstbirthday, babies maybecome aware of when a

bowel movement occurs.However, they are not yet readyto become toilet trained. Girlsusually learn toileting around 2 years of age and boys at around2 1/2 years.

Toilet training is morecomplicated than most peoplebelieve.Toddlers must be awarebefore they are about to urinateor have a bowel movement.Theymust be able to communicate theneed to use the toilet, and theymust be able to get their clothesoff.They must also be able to siton the toilet and relax to urinatefreely and have a bowelmovement.

An infant at 12 to 24 monthsgenerally does not have thematurity to control his bladderand bowel movements. It is bestfor the infant and the mother towait until the infant is matureenough.

12 to 24 Months:Toilet Training

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Most babies learn to walkbetween 12 and 15 months. Some start

at 9 months and others at 18 months. Before babies startwalking, they usually have pulledthemselves to standing withsupport of their crib, playpen,furniture or other anchor.Theytake trial excursions aroundfurniture or other items, whichhelp them learn to balance aswell as strengthen their legs.

Babies display a great variety ofindividuality in their early walkingstages. Some take off right awayand are not intimidated by falls.Others are slightly put off by theinevitable mishaps and are slowerin starting. Some take slow anddeliberate steps by lifting theirlegs high into the air and bringingthem down cautiously with longpauses in between. Others takerunning steps and then toppleover.

When a baby learns to walkalone depends on several factors.These factors include how wellshe can get to places by crawlingso she does not need to walk, ifshe has been ill, and/or if she hadbad experiences, such as fallinghard when she first tried to walk.

12 to 24 Months: Walking

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Babies this age do not eat asmuch as they did a fewmonths earlier. A smaller

appetite is typical andunderstandable. If they ate at thesame rate as they did when theywere younger, they wouldbecome overweight.The size ofthe appetite depends on the rateof growth, which slowsdramatically around the firstbirthday. A baby’s birthweighttypically doubles by 4 or 5months of age and then

triples by the end of the first year.Between 12 and 30 months,however, the toddler gains only 6 to 8 pounds. Appetitediminishes because growth isslower.

Emerging independence alsocontributes to being a pickyeater.They are developing theirown likes and dislikes. Also,typical active toddlers get tooimpatient to sit still for a wholemeal.They would rather bewalking and exploring.

Parents are often concerned thattheir child is not getting enoughto eat.They can create some realeating problems by being rigidand insisting that the toddler eateverything they give him.

Self-feeding is messy, but it helps ababy learn. Healthy finger foodsand a cup that has a lid with aspout for milk, juice or water willmake mealtimes more pleasant.

Good finger foods include softpeeled fruits, well-done cookedvegetables, mild cheese, cookedegg yolk, soft round crackers,teething biscuits, pieces of toastor tortilla, and small pieces ofbanana. Do not give babies foodssuch as raw carrots, celery,popcorn, nuts, raisins, cherries, orwhole or cut hot dogs. A babycan easily choke on these foods.

12 to 24 Months:Picky Eaters

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Toward the end of the firstyear, most babies still taketwo naps a day. Between

12 and 18 months of age, theywill probably give up one nap.They usually sleep through thenight at this age, and they need tohave a regular bedtime.

Babies need to be put to bed atabout the same time every night.All babies need a regular time togo to sleep and a good night’ssleep, which means 8 to 11 hoursof uninterrupted sleep.

A regular bedtime routine isimportant for the baby and alsobenefits the parents. Parents needprivacy and time to unwind.Theyneed time to themselves andsimple relief from an activetoddler.

12 to 24 Months: Sleep

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Twelve- to 24-month-oldsare learning to stand upfor themselves and assert

their independence.They aredeveloping a sense of themselvesas people separate from theirparents.This is an important stagefor a young child.They will say“no” often, even when it issomething they want to do. Oftenthey will also say “mine” or “medo it.”

All children need to go throughthis stage of learning to beindependent.Toddlers still needto be hugged and feel loved.Theyare not being obstinate to irritatetheir parents. Parents need to bepatient.Their toddlers are

growing up. Spanking, hitting,shaking or pinching are notnecessary to discipline. Suchpunishment may permanentlyinjure a young child. It alsoteaches the child to be sneaky,aggressive and fearful. It alsoteaches that hurting and hittingothers is OK.

Here are some ideas to helpparent and toddler with this newindependence:

• When your toddler is beinggood, praise him. He will learnhe can get attention when he isgood so he won’t have to bebad to get attention.

• Tell him what he can or shoulddo, not what he can’t orshouldn’t do. Say,“Hold yourkitty this way” NOT “Don’thold your kitty like that!”

• Take toys or special snack treatson trips to prevent hunger,crankiness or boredom.

• Remove things you do not wanthim to touch.

• Be sure he gets enough rest sohe won’t get cranky or fussybecause he is tired.

• Tell him what you want him todo. Don’t ask him what hewants to do if he really doesnot have a choice.

• If he is doing something youdon’t want him to do, give him asubstitute. For example,“Youcan pour water in the sink, butnot on the floor.”

12 to 24 Months:Independence

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12 to 24 Months:Accidents

Now that babies getaround easily, they aremore likely to have

accidents. More children die andmore children are permanentlyinjured from accidents than fromall diseases combined. Babies needprotection from accidents.Theyare too young to protectthemselves.

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Most girls are ready fortoilet training around 2 years, while most boys

are ready around 2 1/2 years.Children usually becomeinterested in learning to use thetoilet on their own. A child-sizedpotty on the floor can help themget started.

Don’t rush toilet training.Thereare various ways to prepare atoddler for toilet training.

• Teach the words to ask to go tothe toilet.When you changediapers, say,“You wet yourdiapers” or “You messed yourdiapers.”

• Show and tell her the words for“toilet” or “potty” or whateverword you want her to use.

• Suggest sitting on the pottyseveral times a day withoutdiapers. Likely times might bewhile you run the bath water,right after a meal, after a nap orany time the child has been dryfor a long period of time.

• Dress the child in loose-fittingclothes and training pants.

• Stay in the bathroom with thechild.

• Don’t give her toys to play withwhile on the potty.

• Don’t make the child sit on thetoilet when she wants to get off,even if she has not doneanything.

• Always praise when the childdoes do something. Forexample,“Wow, look what you did!”

• Remind the child how nice itfeels not to wear dirty diapers.

• Don’t criticize or punishaccidents.

24 to 36 Months:Toilet Training

27

Sucking a thumb, finger orpacifier is a common wayfor toddlers to comfort

themselves. Such sucking reducesthe tension toddlers feel as theygrow up.They have far moreconflicts and pressures to dealwith than they did when theywere younger.

Some professionals believe that achild who is not allowed to suckhis thumb or fingers may haveproblems sleeping or evenwetting the bed.

Thumb sucking usually disappearson its own, especially if a big dealis not made about it. It is best notto pull children’s thumbs andfingers out of their mouths.Parents are concerned thatsucking will ruin their children’steeth, but problems with teethusually occur after the permanentteeth come in around 5 or 6years of age. Even then, casualthumb sucking does not affectteeth.

As the child gets older, themother might distract the child ifhe is sucking his thumb or fingersby giving him something to dowith his hands.

24 to 36 Months:Thumb Sucking

28

Toddlers wish to beindependent and to dothings by themselves.

Dressing themselves is importantto them.They begin to try toundress themselves around 12 to18 months of age. By 24 months,they can take off their clothes bythemselves, but they often gettangled up when they try to puton their clothes. By 36 months,they can put on easy clothes. Butit is not until 4 or 5 years thatthey can handle shoelaces orbuttons.

Parents can get easily frustrateddealing with toddlers who wishto dress themselves. Here aresome pointers:

• Encourage them to do thethings for themselves that theyare capable of doing.

• Let them do what they can andhelp with whatever gives themtrouble.

• Give them a start and let themfinish. For example, pull the sockon partway and let the child pullit on the rest of the way.

• Lay out the piece of clothing theway it should go on so the childcan start the right way.

• Say,“What a big girl (boy)!” if the child does it right.

• Don’t punish or make fun if it’sdone wrong.

24 to 36 Months:Dressing Self

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At about 1 year of age,children will sometimesbite others. Usually they

are teething and it makes theirgums feel better. Sometimesthey bite because they aretired. Around 24 to 30 months,they may bite occasionally evenif they are generally happy andgood-natured. If toddlers biteoften for no apparent reasonand are usually tense orunhappy, there may be aproblem.

Do not bite the child back.Biting or slapping a child forbiting leads the child to believeit is OK to bite or slap.

Some of the reasons toddlersbite:

• They may be bossed or spankedtoo much.

• They may not be accustomed to being around other smallchildren and may be afraid ofthem and see them as moredangerous or powerful.

• They may be jealous of a newbaby or may resent all smallchildren.

Ways to prevent or stop biting:

• Don’t let the child bite you oranyone else. Say firmly,“No,biting hurts.”

• Take the child to a quiet, safeplace, look the child in the eyesand say,“Stay here until you arecalmer. I cannot let you bite.”After a minute or two, ask,“Areyou ready to play again withoutbiting?” If the answer is “yes,” letthe child go back to playing.

• You can also teach better waysof showing anger.Tell the childthat when he’s angry he shouldsay,“Stop that,” “Go away,” or “I don’t like that.”

• When the child substituteswords for hurting, praise thechild with words and hugs.As the child learns to expressfeelings through words, biting(and hitting) will stop.

24 to 36 Months: Biting

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Toddlers are learninglanguage at a fast pace.They learn about 10 to

15 new words a week. Sometimestheir ideas get ahead of theirvocabulary and they find itdifficult to express themselves.When their thoughts or ideas getahead of their words, they startto stutter. This is especially trueif they are excited or upset.

Most stuttering done by a 2- or3-year-old rarely becomes realstuttering. Adults need to acceptthe talk or speech calmly so thatthe child is unaware that it is inany way inadequate. Therefore,the child will not have to thinkabout how things are said.The stuttering will graduallydisappear.

24 to 36 Months:Stuttering

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Most 30- to 36-month-oldchildren stay dry duringthe day but may wet at

night until after their thirdbirthdays. Some children wettheir beds even after they are 5 years old. All children shouldbe given the opportunity tomature into nighttime dryness attheir own pace.

Parents cannot do much aboutnighttime wetting because thechild’s body is not mature enoughto stop it.These toddlers do notwant to wet the bed.They simplycannot hold their urine, wake upand get to the toilet at night.

Some possible suggestions forparents:

• Don’t yell or spank for bed-wetting. It only makes mattersworse. If the child is scared andnervous, the likelihood of bed-wetting increases.

• Use heavy night diapers.

• As the child gets older, usetraining pants covered bywaterproof pants.

• Keep a waterproof mattress padon the bed.

• Make sure the child goes to thetoilet before bed.

• Try to relax and beunderstanding.

• Praise the child for success.And be calm when there is anaccident.

24 to 36 Months:Bed-wetting

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Often this stage is calledthe “Terrible Twos.”However, we are trying

to encourage parents to viewtheir children in a positive way.Therefore, this section is simplycalled “Twos.” Children in this agegroup are trying to learn to beindependent, but if this attempt isthwarted, they become frustratedand have temper tantrums.Temper tantrums are also relatedto maturation changes that areoccurring in the brain at thistime, changes that make a childmore easily frustrated.

Almost all toddlers between 1 and 3 years have tempertantrums once in a while.A temper tantrum once in awhile does not mean anything.However, if it becomes routine,there may be a problem.The childmay have a chronic physicalproblem or may be overly tired.Or perhaps the parent does notknow how to deal with the child’sdeveloping independence andinsists on doing things for thechild when he could do themhimself.

Children this age need theopportunity to do things forthemselves. Of course, the parentneeds to provide a frameworkwithin which the child can work.For example, if the child wants topour his own milk on his cereal,the parent could put the milk in asmall pitcher or glass and let himpour it.

When a tantrum does erupt, thebest way to handle it is for theparent to ignore it and walk away(make sure the child is safe).Don't give in to the child. If itoccurs in a public place, let himcool down. It is unwise for theparent to get angry and losehis/her temper, too. The childprobably has frightened himselfby his loss of self control and willbe even more frightened if theparent also loses self control.

24 to 36 Months: “Twos”

MSU is an affirmative-action, equal-opportunity institution. Michigan State University Extension programs and materials are open to allwithout regard to race, color, national origin, gender, religion, age, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, marital status, or familystatus. • Issued in furtherance of Extension work in agriculture and home economics, acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation withthe U.S. Department of Agriculture. Margaret A. Bethel, Extension director, Michigan State University, E. Lansing, MI 48824. • Thisinformation is for educational purposes only. References to commercial products or trade names do not imply endorsement by MSU

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