How a Bully Gets PowerAn invitation to:

Reflect,

Think,

Understand,

&

Make a change

Definitions

Bullying…

1. Is aggressive behavior with intent to harm that involves unwanted, negative actions.2. Involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.3. Involves an imbalance of power or strength.

Examples of Bullying

Physical– Pushing, shoving, fighting, spitting, tripping

Emotional/Social– Excluding – Threats– Spreading lies and false rumors– Recruiting people to “turn” against someone– Cyber-communication -- Texting, Facebook, etc– Repeated teasing while knowing it is hurtful

Bullying is not:

Rude behavior Having a lack of or weak social skills Choosing another peer group (or deciding not to

be friends with someone) Being “annoying” Being in a bad mood Being insensitive Having a dominating personality Conflict or disagreement

Gateway BehaviorsIn the moment, single-event verbal or nonverbalcommunication with an unkind spirit. Some examples:

Teasing Eye-rolling Laughing at another student Whispering about someone Not allowing someone to join an activity or discussion or

lunch table Moving to another lunch table because you don’t like

someone

Invitation for students to think: Why is it important to recognize and stop Gateway Behaviors?

Roles

Target (Victim)

Bully (Aggressor)

Witness (Bystander)

Target/Victim

Not randomly chosen They tend to have a perceived vulnerability

– Not many friends– Glasses– May be overweight (girl/boy)– Not athletic (boy)– Small for their size– Sensitive (Wear their heart on their sleeve)

Target/Victim

In the past, schools would often ask targets of peer aggression to:

“be strong” “ignore it” “try not being so sensitive”

Now, we encourage and teach you to develop the capacity and communication skills to be safe and report aggressive behaviors

Bystander/witness

Two types of bystanders/witnesses

1) Reluctant (fear that aggressor will turn on him/her or that they will lose social power)

2) Strong/”un-teasable” (something about the way he/she carries themselves”)

Invitation to reflect: How can “strong bystanders” help the culture?

Bully

Why? Gain/retain social position, to impress bystanders

Where? Mostly in unstructured settings with little adult supervision

When? When adults are not looking (mostly)

PROFILE – average to above average self esteem, lacking intrapersonal skills, motivated to obtain or lock in social status, may have lots of unsupervised time at home coupled with not much “tender time” with parents.

Myths about students who engage in Bullying behaviors

Bullies suffer from low self-esteem (Not true)

He/she knows exactly what they are doing (A tiny bit true)

Ignoring the behavior will stop a bully (Mostly NOT true)

What about the Social Ladder?

Definition Some kids not tuned into it Some kids highly tuned into it Perception – There is only so much room at the top! “How can I move up or make sure I don’t lose my

spot?” Insecurity or uncertainty (rampant at this age level)

An invitation for students to think: Which kids do you suppose are happier and more secure socially? (Highly aware of S.L. or not?)

Girls ------------ Boys

Different style (typically)

BOYS – physical, verbal, “move on”

GIRLS – emotional, verbal, social, “hold on”

What are Effective Strategies to REDUCE/STOP Bullying?

All staff trained in district policy, addressing gateway, and creating safe & respectful learning environments

Student leaders trained as “strong bystanders” Support from well-informed parents & guardians School-wide program focused on pro-social,

interpersonal skill development Comprehensive reporting system Communication and consequences enforced by

Administration

Prevention Plan at Fowler

o Second Step (6- 8) & Steps to Respect (4/ 5)o All staff are trained to address gateway behaviors in

the moment for all to hear (MARC training)o Student Government – develop leadership capacityo Communication with parents/guardians -- Plan is on

district websiteo A shared and caring culture (kids, parents and

teachers) of “We don’t do that here!”

Intervention Plan at Fowler

Reporting – three ways:o Writteno Verbalo Anonymous - written or verbal (note- no disciplinary action

may be taken based solely on an anonymous report) Investigation takes time Serious consequences Development of Safety Plan in the event of a finding

of Bullying Consequences are confidential

Did you know that…

Massachusetts has some of the toughestanti-bullying laws in the entire country?

Focus is prevention (Steps to Respect & Second Step) Mandatory action – administration Shared accountability Shared commitment & responsibility in community Strong consequences for students (suspension,

possible expulsion)

For students to discuss…

Agree/Disagree/Neutral or No Comment

If one person is hurt by being bullied, we are all hurt. Kids who continue to bully eventually become adults

who struggle with relationships, friendships and in the work place.

There is a difference between snitching/tattling and asking an adult for help

A kid who bullies others has very little insight