Hospice NewsFA L L 2 0 1 4

Denying Death The Cultural Shift of a Natural Process

Dealing with Mental IllnessNo Shame in Seeking Help

CryingThe Healing Power of Tears

Novemberis

NationalHospiceMonth

Brookings Health System Hospice would like to acknowledge with appreciation the following donations (received through 9/30/14):

Donation from Chapter of the order of Eastern Star

Donation from Gloria Meyers

Donation from Delores Bertsch and Michael Serlet

In Memory of Joy Moore Michael Moore

In Memory of Dale Nelson Jane Nelson

In Memory of Carol Roach Kathryn and James Berreth

In Memory of Estelle Felt Felt Family

In Memory of John Unruh John Unruh Family

In Memory of Clara Hegg Dorothy Sayre

In Memory of Genevieve Hegerfeld H.E. Hegerfeld

brookingshealth.org2

V O L U N T E E R S P O T L I G H T : Carrie HagbergFor the past year Carrie Hagberg has been a hospice volunteer. She is no stranger to the health care field. Carrie was a Certified Nurse Practitioner (CNP) with Dr.Holm for 17 years prior to her retirement. She had worked in health care since high school when she helped feed patients at her local hospital in Freeman, SD.

Carrie is married and has three grown children, all of whom live out of state, as well as three grandchildren. Because her family does not live near-by, she finds she has time to be available to help others.

Not being able to just walk away from the health care field and having spent much time working with hospice as a CNP, Carrie felt devoting time to hospice clients would be a good fit for her.

In the past year she has had four clients, one whom she continues to visit weekly or more often. She enjoys interacting with them

individually as well as interacting with their families. She finds it

important to help families to relax and perhaps be able to have a brief respite from care giving. Having the freedom to volunteer for hospice also means having the time to

slow down to really be with clients and take the time to meet their needs however they may present themselves on a given day.

Carrie is very active and enjoys biking, walking, working out with weights and fishing with her husband. She enjoys travel to visit her children and grandchildren. Her volunteer activities also include being a deacon at her church and involvement in her church’s discernment and development team to explore and plan for their church’s future. Carrie also finds pleasure working in her garden.

“The blessings I receive from volunteering for hospice are greater than those I might give to clients,” she says. It’s known that Carrie brings joy and warm companionship to those she serves in hospice. We appreciate her joining the hospice team as a volunteer.

3fall 2014

Mavis GehantHospice Social Worker

It’s been long held that laughing is “good medicine.” Laughing helps us feel better. A good belly laugh massages our insides. Sometimes we laugh so hard our sides hurt and we want it all to stop but we enjoy it anyway even though we can hardly catch our breath. We laugh at jokes, at the cute things children say and do, at a story in the news that seemed amusing, at a comedian who surprises us with the unexpected. Laughing feels good. It lightens our life. It does something pleasurable to our brain.

Crying on the other hand feels like something altogether different. There are tears of joy certainly. But the tears shed by those who have lost a loved one come from a deep well of grief and maybe even despair.

As a side note, our tears vary in composition depending on the reason they are shed. Tears of grief are different in their composition than tears shed while peeling an onion or those that continually moisten our eyes but which we don’t even notice. The tears that always flow and keep junk out of our eyes are basal tears and besides salt water contain antibiotics and oils which protect and lubricate our eyes. The tears that flow while cutting onions or encountering other chemicals are reflex tears and have antibiotics and enzymes to break down the irritating chemicals. Tears from emotions, called psychogenic tears, include proteins that increase when we are under stress. Those proteins can be damaging but are flushed out when crying. Hmmm, maybe crying when distressed is not a bad thing.

However, culturally we tend to suppress tears of sadness even though many of us have experienced relief after a

“good cry.” There seem to be cultural restrictions placed especially on men when it comes to crying, particularly in front of others. This may be changing and a more open expression of sadness with tears is becoming more accepted.

There are reasons why we may unwittingly put a halt to our own or even other’s tears. Judy Tatelbaum in her

book, The Courage to Grieve, talks about this. She says we may put the brakes on someone else’s tears because of possible underlying feelings and thoughts about crying. These may be:

If you cry, I might cry.

If you cry, I might know I, too, am in pain.

If you cry, I might feel self-conscious about my own difficulty in crying.

If you cry, I might have to face the unpleasantness in my/your life.

If you cry, I might not be able to maintain my pose of strength (or dignity, or composure, or whatever).

If you cry, I might cry for all the pain in my own life and never stop crying.

Therefore, if you cry, I will have to run away or shut you up to save myself.

So not surprisingly, we may find there are few friends or family members with whom we feel it is okay to cry. Perhaps, however, we can also be more forgiving of those who don’t want us to shed tears.

We may need to own some of what Tatlebaum says and realize that we, too, are afraid of our own tears. We feel we may never stop, or we will lose our dignity or our self- image of strength, or feel others will think less of us (the latter is probably a projection on our part of what we think we may feel about ourselves if we cry).

It can be a challenge to not stop the flow of tears and to have the strength, courage and faith to allow tears to flow, to express our sadness, our grief, our despair. Sometimes it is necessary to find a comfortable and safe place to cry. For one woman it was in the shower so others in the family could not see or hear her. Crying is natural and can be healing. Crying can bring some relief. So, cry when you have to.

“Cry when you have to. Laugh when you can.” This has become a favorite slogan of

participants in the grief education classes over the past three years. It seems to

speak to what they feel and need.

Crying: Halt it or Let It Heal?

brookingshealth.org4

Richard P. HolmMD

I have no problem with telling you that in my lifetime I have had a fractured clavicle, childhood asthma, pneumonia, adolescent acne, inguinal hernias, and eye trouble. For each of these I found medical and/or surgical help. Yet why am I so reluctant to admit that during my college years I struggled with some depression, or even that many years ago my grandfather died in a mental institution?

Every one of us can speak to our life’s experience with physical problems, but we would hardly admit to having some encounter with emotional troubles. In our society psychiatric illnesses and psychological struggles have unfortunately and unfairly been tagged with guilt or shame. And this goes doubly true for the male of the species.

I would submit that we all are thrown off-balance by one kind of psychological challenge or another as we struggle through the normal encounters of daily living. Who hasn’t been stressed out by a new job or

There is no shame when people have to deal with a physical illness, so why are

folks so reluctant to face mental illness when it occurs in themselves or

in their family?

profoundly depressed by the loss of a job? How does anyone handle the severe illness in a child or a spouse? Who faces divorce without anger and disappointment? How do we live through financial loss without fear and anxiety? Life is often very difficult. Every individual copes in a different way, and sometimes it isn’t pretty.

But mental illness doesn’t have to follow a stressful situation. It often occurs without any rhyme or reason. Like adolescent acne or acute appendicitis, schizophrenia, for example, happens spontaneously without warning in the best of families. There should be no blame or guilt, and yet an unjustified disgrace of having mental illness often prevents timely and effective treatment.

Bottom line, every one of us deals with sometimes minor, sometimes major physical and/or mental illness throughout our lifetime. We should realize that it is smart to seek help not only for physical but also for emotional challenges each and every one of us have to face.

There is no shame.

No Shame

5fall 2014

Gregg TeBeestChaplain

When I was young I enjoyed visits to my grandparent’s house in Castlewood. It was

an old house with nooks and crannies to explore. The attic was a favorite hangout

for me and my siblings.

Living in a Death Denying Culture

It was hot and a little creepy but there were hidden treasures in the attic. Once in a while we would find a strange looking antique for my grandparents to identify. The attic was full of mystery and intrigue.

As interesting as the attic was, there was another room in the house that intrigued me even more. It wasn’t creepy, just strange in my thinking. I think we kids called it the “middle room.” My grandparents called it “the parlor.” The parlor didn’t seem to serve much purpose in my thinking. We ate meals in there once in awhile but most of the time the parlor sat dark and empty. I remember wondering what the two huge pocket doors were about. It wasn’t until I was older that I discovered the real purpose for the pocket doors.

In my grandparent’s day most people died in their homes (80% in the late 1800s and early 1900s). Consequently, dying was a family affair as loved ones were cared for by family members. The family washed the body and in many cases built the coffin and prepared the burial site. Even young children were involved and learned about death from firsthand experience. Because funeral homes were nearly non-existent, many homes had parlors which

served as the place of visitation. Hence, the pocket doors which served as a passage way for the casket!

By the 1970s death and dying were nearly entirely handed over by families to the professionals. As medical technology advanced, the hospital room became the place where nearly all Americans died. After death, the funeral home became the place where the body was prepared and kept for burial. Because of these and other shifts in our culture, death was no longer accepted as a natural part of life but something to be avoided, even denied. Today our society is now completely immersed in the worship and preservation of youth. In 2011 Americans spent $38 billion on “age defying” cosmetics.

The truth of the matter is that we are mortal. None of us are getting out of this alive. And no amount of death denial can prevent it. But should this be of concern to us? Is death not a part of the grand design? “There is a time for every event under heaven,” says the writer of Ecclesiastes. “There is a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to give birth, and a time to die.” Yes, there is a time to die. Norman Cousins said, “Death is not the enemy; living in constant fear of it is.” Angus Tuck, a leading character in the children’s novel Tuck Everlasting said, “Don’t be afraid of death, but rather the unlived life.” Life, and inevitably death, is not to be feared but rather enjoyed as a gift from God.

Because life is very short, we must redeem the time. We must take advantage of every opportunity to reflect on the good things in life and enjoy them to the fullest. Reflect, for example, on the simple things in life: the fragrance of a rose; the design of a snowflake; the perfectly formed fingers of a newborn baby. Reflect on your life – the good things you have done and meaningful relationships you enjoy. And finally, reflect on your death. God was present when you came into this world and God will be there when you go out.

brookingshealth.org

Hospice gives you more. Be it more joy, more love, or more quality of life in general, the goal of hospice is to o�er patients the ability to enjoy the time they have remaining, and create meaningful memories for their families. Hospice o�ers more moments of life.

The vast majority of Americans say what they want at the end of life is to die in their own homes, as comfortable and pain-free as possible. The hospice philosophy is about making sure that a patient’s death experience reflects their wishes. Here are five ways that hospice helps to deliver this:

Hospice gives you comfort. Hospices are experts at managing life-limiting illness. The hospice team ensures that medication, therapies and treatments all support a care plan that is centered on the patient’s goals. And hospice services can be o�ered wherever the patient calls home, allowing friends and family to visit freely—something they might not be able to do in a hospital ICU setting.

Hospice gives you peace. Beyond physical relief, hospice strives to help patients and families find emotional and spiritual comfort during what is often a very traumatic time. Hospice organizations are able to provide families with counselors, therapists, spiritual care advisors and bereavement professionals who can best support their struggles with death and grieving. These services are part of the hospice benefit, covered by Medicare, Medicaid or most private insurances.

Hospice gives you something extra. Hospice is not only about compassionate medical care and control of pain. Art and music therapists inspire joy; pet therapy and massages are o�ered at many programs as well.

Hospice gives caregivers guidance. Most families are not prepared to face the death of a loved one. In addition to caring for patients, hospice also o�ers services for families and loved ones that provide emotional support and advice to help family members become confident caregivers and adjust to the future with grief support for up to a year.

Learn more at www.MomentsofLife.org

Brought to you by:

The vast majority of Americans say what they want at the end

of life is to die in their own homes, as comfortable and painfree

as possible. The hospice philosophy is about making sure that

a patient’s death experience reflects their wishes. Here are five

ways that hospice helps to deliver this:

hospIce gIves you comFort. Hospices are experts at managing lifelimiting illness. The hospice team ensures that medication, therapies and treatments all support a care plan that is centered on the patient’s goals. And hospice services can be oered wherever the patient calls home, allowing friends and family to visit freely—something they might not be able to do in a hospital ICU setting.

hospIce gIves you peace. Beyond physical relief, hospice strives to helppatients and families find emotional and spiritual comfort during whatis often a very traumatic time. Hospice organizations are able to provide families with counselors, therapists, spiritual care advisors and bereavement professionals who can best support their struggles with death and grieving. These services are part of the hospice benefit, covered by Medicare, Medicaid or most private insurances.

hospIce gIves you somethIng extra. Hospice is not only about compassionate medical care and control of pain. Art and music therapists inspire joy; pet therapy and massages are oered at many programs as well.

hospIce gIves caregIvers guIdance. Most families are not prepared to face the death of a loved one. In addition to caring for patients, hospice also offers services for families and loved ones that provide emotional support and advice to help family members become confident caregivers and adjust to the future with grief support for up to a year.

hospIce gIves you more. Be it more joy, more love, or more quality of life in general, the goal of hospice is to oer patients the ability to enjoy the time they have remaining, and create meaningful memories for their families. Hospice offers more moments of life.

Learn more at www.MomentsofLife.org

fall 2014

Come to the Rescue!Brookings Health System Foundation is calling on YOU to...

Come to the Rescue!For those considering

the tax advantages of year-end giving, Brookings Health

System Foundation is a 501c3 and welcomes

donations to the ambulance campaign

received by December 31, 2014.

Team Isaac founders Jason and Amber Hemmestad and Amanda Larson present check to Barb Anderson and Mary Schwaegerl of Brookings Health System

The Team Isaac golf tournament held Saturday, July 26 at the Meadow Creek Golf Course in Volga raised over $10,300 to benefit the Team Isaac “Safe to Sleep Gift Pack” project.

Team Isaac gift packs will be provided to the family of every baby born at Brookings Health System. Each pack will contain a HALO SleepSack swaddle, a Charlie's Kids Sleep Baby Safe and Snug board book and other information about the risk of SIDS.

More information about Team Isaac can be found on their Facebook page www.facebook.com/TeamIsaacScot.

brookIngs health system FoundatIon’s community-wide campaign to raise money for a new ambulance recently exceeded $46,000, including a $2,500 gift from White Ambulance Service.

“Brookings Ambulance is an Advanced Life Support (ALS) service while the White Ambulance is a Basic Life Support (BLS) service,” said White Ambulance President Russ Larson. “Brookings Ambulance is always available to assist us when ALS is needed for things like heart situations, multi-injury accidents, or medication administration. Our donation shows our appreciation for their assistance.”

According to Brookings Health System Ambulance Director Gordon Dekkenga, the health system needs a new Type III ambulance to replace an older Type III vehicle. At a cost of $175,000, the new ambulance will be built and stocked as an ALS unit. It will serve as the primary 911 response unit in the five-vehicle fleet.

“We are honored to work with the White Ambulance and other BLS teams in the area,” said Dekkenga. “We can’t thank them enough for their donation to our campaign.”

Brookings Health System Foundation Development Officer Barb Anderson points out that Brookings Health System has operated the self-supported ambulance service for 40 years.

“Giving to the ambulance campaign is a genuine investment for businesses and individuals who understand the impact this service has on quality of life for our community,” said Anderson.

According to Anderson, in many communities, ambulances are funded by city budgets. When they need a new ambulance, they often use tax revenue.

“Having this service available to the Brookings area without using tax revenue is pretty amazing when you consider taxpayers in Watertown recently paid for a new ambulance by enacting a second penny tax,” said Anderson. “

The community may contribute to the ambulance campaign online at www.brookingshealth.org/foundation, or mail to 300 Twenty-Second Avenue.

For more information about Brookings Health System Foundation, please contact Foundation Officer Barb Anderson at (605) 696-8855 or foundation@brookingshealth.org.

White Ambulance President

and EMT Russ Larson

together with White

Ambulance Secretary/

Treasurer and EMT Tammy

Byers present a check for

the ambulance fund to

Brookings Health System

Ambulance Director

Gordon Dekkenga.

This is arecyclable product.

Hospice News is published by Brookings Health System. This publication in no way seeks to serve as substitute for professional medical care. Consult your physician before undertaking any form of medical treatment or adopting any exercise program or dietary guidelines.

300 Twenty-Second AvenueBrookings, SD 57006

ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED

We Extend Sympathy to the families of patients lost through September 2014:

Robert Anderson 5/16/23–9/17/14

Barry Brooks 1/22/48–8/24/14

Stanley Corlett 6/17/28–9/6/14

William Crull 4/4/31–8/2/14

Burnerd Cuperus 3/24/31–8/2/14

Estelle Felt 4/14/20–7/12/14

Eva Hendrickson 9/1/24–8/16/14

Margery Hicks 2/6/23–7/18/14

Betty Hochstetter 12/20/36–9/16/14

Richard Lucas 5/14/43–9/5/14

Merle Lutterman 6/30/23–7/18/14

Neva Luze 8/26/24–8/11/14

Joyce Moore 3/14/30–7/8/14

James Olson 6/28/42–8/17/14

Marjorie Quam 12/22/30–7/25/14

Louis Quinones 3/31/31–9/17/14

Diane Royer 10/30/49–8/5/14

Roy Sundberg 1/19/43–7/30/14