BACHELORthe

April 14, 2006 • Volume 119 • Issue 11 • 765-361-6213 • bachelor.wabash.edu • bachelor@wabash.edu

the student voice of Wabash since 1908

Horace Turner Retired, RememberedNelson Barreeditor in chief

A 35 year career at WabashCollege has not officiallyended, but the torch has beenpassed. On Saturday, the Mal-colm X Institute celebrated theretirement of long time mentorand director Horace Turner.

Turner was brought to thecampus at the same time as theconstruction and beginnings ofthe Malcolm X Institute. Hehas been the face of the Insti-tute throughout its existence.His experiences and role onthe Wabash campus has alwaysbeen one asking for the utmostrespect and always receiving itbecause of his long-standingposition.

“I was told they neededsomeone to come out and men-tor students,” Turner said. “Ionly expected to be here a yearor two.”

Lovingly called “HT” bymembers of the Institute andnon-members alike, Turner hasbecome a paternal figure,friend and example to all menwho find their way to the Mal-colm X Institute.

“There was a great desirefrom the administration andstaff concerning the task ofmentoring the young men whocame to the Institute,” Turnersaid. “Most of my achieve-ments were from the adminis-

tration’s tremendous help.During President Andy Ford’sera, we have added three blackprofessors to tenure track posi-tions, whereas before thatthere had only been about 12to 14.”

The celebration offeredspeakers recounting the histo-ry and heritage of the MalcolmX Institute along with themany memories of HoraceTurner. The various speechesand recollections by manyWabash community membersspread the word of Horace’simpact on the Wabash commu-nity. He has spent more time atWabash College than almostany other faculty or communi-ty member. To stop and think

Horace Turner shows a portrait given as a gift at his retirement dinner on Saturday.

JIM AMIDON

See Turner, Page 2

“I’m very happyand grateful tohave been at

Wabash for solong. Wabash hasalways helped me

and my familywith whatever

I needed.”Horace Turner

Lilly Scolarship Competition Brings Finalists to CampusRoyce V. Gregersonstuff editor

A long admissions cyclecame one step closer to a closelast weekend when the Admis-sions Department brought 30finalists to campus for theannual Lilly ScholarshipWeekend. Coming from ninedifferent states, the finalistscompeted throughout the

weekend for approximately sixfull-tuition, room, and boardscholarships.

“For many reasons, LillyScholar Weekend is myfavorite event of the admis-sions year,” Dean of Admis-sions Steve Klein told thefinalists. “We get to know youthis weekend, and you reallyget to know us – the students,the faculty, and the alumni,

along with the admissionsstaff.” Klein addressed thefinalists at the beginning of thedinner Thursday night thatbegan the competition. Fol-lowing the dinner, Dean Ray-mond Williams introducedProfessor Bill Placher ’70,who spoke on adverbs. Plach-er described the adverbs of theWabash mission statement.

“God loveth adverbs; and

cares not how good, but howwell,” Placher told finalists,quoting Joseph Hall. “AtWabash, we love adverbs.”The speech gave finalists,

many of whom have not yetcommitted to attendingWabash, a further idea of what

See Lilly, Page 2

“We get to know you this weekend, and you really get to know us.”

Steve Klein

NEWSPAGE 2 • THE BACHELOR APRIL 14, 2006

the student voice of Wabashsince 1908

editor in chiefNelson Barre

barren@wabash.edu

news editorAshely Stephen

stephena@wabash.edu

opinion editorAdam Hawkins

hawkinsa@wabash.edu

sports editorAaron Parrish

parrisha@wabash.edu

stuff editorRoyce V. Gregerson

gregersr@wabash.edu

photo editorSteve Abbott

abbotts@wabash.edu

cartoon editorDick Page

pager@wabash.edu

layoutAllen Chatt, Adam Hawkins,

Steve Crockett

copy editorAshley Stephen, Royce Gregerson

BOP advisorsHoward Hewitt, Jim Amidon &

Steve Charles

The Bachelor301 W. Wabash Ave.

Crawfordsville, IN 47933© Wabash College 2005 - 2006

The purpose of The Bachelor is to serve theschool audience, including but not limited toadministrators, faculty and staff, parents, alum-ni, community members and most importantly,the students. Because this is a school paper, thecontent and character within will cater to the stu-dent body’s interests, ideas and issues. Further,this publication will serve as a medium andforum for student opinions and ideas.

Although an individual newspaper, theBoard of Publications publishes The Bachelor.The Bachelor and BOP receive funding from theWabash College Student Senate, which derivesits funds from the Wabash College student body.

Letters (e-mails) to the editor are welcomedand encouraged. They will only be published ifthey include name, phone, or e-mail, and are notlonger than 350 words. The Bachelor reservesthe right to edit letters for content, typographicalerrors, and length. All letters received becomeproperty of this publication for the purposes ofreprinting and/or redistribution.

Profanity may appear in the publication, butonly in cases of direct quote or if profanity isnecessary to the content of the story. Please donot confuse profanity with obscenity. No articleor picture of an obscene nature will appear inthis publication.

The Bachelor is printed every Thursday atthe Journal Review in Crawfordsville. It is deliv-ered freely to all students, faculty, and staff atWabash College. To receive a year’s subscrip-tion, send a $30 check (mail) or $10 (e-mail) toThe Bachelor.

All advertising published in The Bachelor issubject to the applicable rate card. The Bache-lor reserves the right to deny requests for publi-cation of advertisements. Student organizationsof Wabash College may purchase advertisementsat half the listed rate.

The Bachelor is a member of the HoosierState and Indiana Collegiate Press Associations(HSPA and ICPA).

about that puts things into per-spective. It makes you appre-ciate Horace for he has seenover three decades of a chang-ing Wabash community. Theimpact that he has had as amentor and friend exceedslimitation.

The retirement dinner heldSaturday evening may havemarked the end of Turner’sterm as director for the Insti-tute, but he will continue to bearound the College. Turnerwill be an assistant Track &Field coach with long-timefriend Rob Johnson. He wouldhave it no other way than to

stay at Wabash.“I’ll be around here a

while,” Turner said. “I’ll behelping Coach Johnson withTrack, trying to bring out moreparticipants. I’m very happyand grateful to have been atWabash for so long. Wabashhas always helped me and myfamily with whatever I needed,from finding a house when Ifirst arrived to helping my kidsget through school.”

Turner was always there tosupport equal rights for allmembers of the many diversegroups of students and evenfaculty. He has been the stal-wart supporter for 35 yearsand leaves behind him a greatlegacy and model to follow forhis successor, Prof. Tim Lake.

TurnerFrom Page 1

Horace turner "passes the torch of leadership" of the MXI to Tim Lake.

it means to be a Wabash man.It also gave current studentspresent an opportunity toreflect on their own lives atWabash. All students invitedto the dinner and other LillyWeekend events were past

Lilly Scholar Finalists andLilly Scholars.

The finalists were judgedfor the scholarship based on aninterview with members of theLilly Award Selection Com-mittee and discussion of aselected text. Interviews tookplace Friday and discussionstook place on Saturday. Fridaynight, finalists went to dinnerat Bucca di Beppo in Indi-anapolis with

current students who wereLilly Finalists.

“The weekend was a suc-cess, both in bringing talentedstudents to campus and withvisitation programming,” NickCollins, Assistant Director ofAdmissions, said. “It is amaz-ing to see and hear how power-ful these young people are intheir community and withintheir schools.” Collins andRachelle Merkel, Associate

Director of Admissions, coor-dinated the weekend.

“It’s great to finally seeyour faces,” Merkel told thefinalists. “I feel like I knoweverything about all of youfrom making countless copiesof your applications.”

The Admissions office willnotify winners soon. Then, thewinners have until May 1 toenroll and accept their scholar-ships.

LillyFrom Page 1

JIM AMIDON

Beta Theta Pi (Elliott Vice)0 pledges/3 students = 0%

Delta Tau Delta (Aaron Hollowell)0 pledges/16 students = 0%

Kappa Sigma (Raul Gonzalez)0 pledge/13 students = 0%

Lambda Chi Alpha (Patrick Banks,Cory Shafer, Kyle Coffey)

0 pledges/22 students = 0%

Phi Delta Theta (Joe Seger)11 pledges/11 students = 100%

Phi Gamma Delta (Mark Server)0 pledges/16 students = 0%

Phi Kappa Psi (Chris Bly)13 pledges/13 students = 100%

Sigma Chi (Chip Habegger, ChrisOgden)

0 pledges/20 students = 0%

Tau Kappa Epsilon (Aaron Cook)0 pledges/6 students = 0%

Theta Delta Chi (Justin Wesley)0 pledge/2 students = 0%

Independents (Justin VanderIest, DonaldClaxon, Ali Ahmed)

0 pledges/75 students = 0%

TOTAL Class of 200624 pledges/194 seniors = 12%

SENIOR GIFT CAMPAIGN: Class of 2006(information as of April 4, 2006)

Bungalow RestaurantLocally Owned for 30 years

Steak, Seafood and italian Cuisine Plus the House of Blues Bar Open Sunday 2-10

First Beer is Free with Wabash ID and Free Chili on Sundays210 E. Pike St. 362-2596

NEWSAPRIL 14, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 3

Montgomery County Red Cross

http://chapters.redcross.org/in/montgomery

Information on Health & Safety Classes

This Week in Wabash History

Duke Ellington, Kingsmen, Hawaiian luau, to highlight Pan weekend festivitiesMay 7, 1965

Pan-Hel festivities this year will include virtually round-the-clock entertainment. Starting off tonightat 9 will be Duke Ellington and his band playing for the first night formal dance. Tomorrow will be theSaga Food Service Hawaiian Luau at Turkey Run State Park featuring the Tahuna Polynesian Dancers.Saturday night will top off the weekend’s organized activities with the Kingsmen performing from 9p.m. to 1 a.m. for the semi-formal dance.

Duke Ellington, noted world-wide for his contributions and innovations in the jazz world, will be fea-turing his own arrangements and those of Billy Strayhorn in a four hour performance. Included in theorchestra will be many of the most highly respected sidemen in jazz including Jimmy Hamilton, HarryCarney, and Paul Gonsalves (reeds), Sam Woodyard (drums), and Cootie Williams and “Cat” Anderson(trumpets).

The Kingsmen, still reverberating from the shock of their hits “Louie Louie” and “The Jolly GreenGiant,” will perform Saturday. On alto sax and lead vocals will be Lynn Easton. Dick Peterson will playthe drums, Mike Mitchell, guitar; Barry Curtis, Hammond Organ; and Norm Sundholm, bass.

That afternoon and evening from 1 to 10 p.m. Saga Food service will sponsor a Hawaiian Luau atTurkey Run State Park. Activities will commence with the presentation of a lei to each ticket holderaccompanied with a traditional kiss. This lei will serve as a means of identification of those attendingthe luau and also serve as a ticket for the events to follow.

In the early afternoon will be a variety of things to do. From 1 to 3 will be free horseback riding formembers of the party on a first come first serve basis. From 2 to 4 tandem bicycles have also been leasedfor members of the party and may be ridden on a first come first serve basis. At 2 there will also be nat-uralist tours guided by park Rangers. A hayride will start from the shelter area and pass by the placewhere pigs wrapped in Ti leaves (flown in from Hawaii) will be raised from holes in the ground wherethey will have been roasting for eight hours.

The feast itself will begin at 4:30 (having been moved up from the time marked on the tickets) andwill include: the Kalua pig, Lomi Lomi Salmon, Fried Rice, Haupia, Passion Fruit Punch, fruit and rel-ish bowls. The food will be served by Hawaiian students from Purdue University who also will help inits preparation.

At 5:30 the Tahuna Polynesian Dancers will perform. Featuring authentic island dancing (includingwalking on hot coals) this group has performed at many luaus, on television, and at some of the coun-try’s top night clubs and hotels.

Russ Wright, head of the Campus Center and director of the luau, says the festivities will be held atTurkey Run even in the face of threatening weather (making use of shelters and/ or a tent, if need be),but in case of a bad rainstorm will be moved to the Cave in the basement of the Campus center. In anyevent, he reminds students that alcoholic beverages are not permitted on the park grounds.

Tickets to the luau are still available in the Scarlet Inn and will be sold at the park tomorrow if anyremain.

THE BACHELOR’S OPINION

OPINIONPAGE 4 • THE BACHELOR APRIL 14, 2006

the voice of Wabash since 1908

EDITORIALS

Steve Crockett layout editor

Aaron Parrishsports editor

Nelson Barreeditor in chief

Ashley Stephennews editor

Adam Hawkinsopinion editor

Royce V. Gregersonstuff editor

Goodbye, Columbus?Philip Roth

roared onto theAmerican liter-ary scene withhis novella,“ G o o d b y e ,Columbus.” Itwas a sensitivesocioeconomic

coming-of-age story set in 1950sNew Jersey. It also cemented hisplace in the American literarypantheon. Even Herman Wouk(no mean author himself) paro-died Roth, affectionately-enough, in his novel Inside, Out-side, with the author “PeterQuat.”

One of the turning points ofthe book comes when the protag-onist listens to the college retro-spective album of the brother ofhis lover. He understands, to mymind, the idea that people eitherchange or spend their lives pin-ing for what they had. He, then,chooses to change and progress.Wabash is facing such a moment,a moment of progress, to put itanother way.

On July 1, Patrick White willbecome president of WabashCollege. Given the proximity tothat change, I think that it is timeto reflect on President Ford’slegacy. Few college presidentsleave indelible stamps on their

institutions. Within Indiana, onlythe late Herman B. Wells can besaid to have fundamentallychanged an institution. IndianaUniversity, especially theBloomington campus, wouldlook very different if not forWells’ inspired leadership.

Of course, Wabash wouldlook very different if not forFord. Let’s be a little gauche andtalk about money and the like.Under Ford’s tenure, Hays andTrippet halls were built.Goodrich and Yandes / Detchonwere renovated to the point ofbeing practically new buildings.The college’s endowment hasgrown substantially, surpassingmany major research universitiesin terms of per-student money.Most of the fraternities havebeen renovated, with the rest fol-lowing shortly behind.

The student-to-professor ratiohas remained small, allowingstudents to interact and learnwith – as well as from – theirinstructors, under Ford. Withmodernity and George W. Bush’sstandardization of educationturning institutions of higherlearning into third-rate diplomamills, it is both refreshing andimportant that Wabash remains aplace for education in the realsense. The Cultures and Tradi-tions cycle has flourished, intro-

ducing students to a widerpanorama of experiences andthought – something of whichthere is a tragic dearth elsewhere.

I suppose, unfortunate that itis, that any discussion of Wabashmust touch upon (if not centeraround) both the Gentleman’sRule and the same-sex status ofWabash. President Ford tookcoeducation off the table whenhe assumed office, and it hasremained out-of-bounds, so tospeak, ever since. Under Ford,too, the Gentleman’s Rule hasremained the only rule of the stu-dent body and each student has –more or less – been allowed todecide for himself what that rulemeans. In an era when evenschools like Rose-Hulman wentco-ed, Wabash has remained trueto her roots.

The construction andfundraising undertaken duringPresident Ford’s tenure have fur-thered that end to no smallextent. Wabash is not beholdento either the Indiana or the Unit-ed States governments for fund-ing or other support; therefore,Wabash can keep that fragilethread of real tradition alive andwell – without the meddling ofbureaucrats and legislatures. Thefacilities at Wabash attract stu-

Patrick Smithsmithp@wabash.edu

See Ford, Page 9

Sterling Cartercarters@wabash.edu

Pan-Hel. As an Independent in my third year, I am once again left ask-ing, “What the hell?” Why this Wabash “holiday”? Are we preserving “tra-dition”? Is this promoting “brotherhood”? Am I using enough “quotes”?

The past week, Wabash was once again treated to the self-gratifying (yes,a synonym for masturbatory), inane, “unifier” of campus life. Nevermindthe fact that nearly forty percent of the student body cannot classify itself asfalling under the Pan-Hellenic qualifier. I don’t write this article because Iam an Independent, nor do I write it out of a deep-seated envy of fraternitylife. Unlike some former pieces of satire published in these hallowed pagesover the past few months, I have a sharp, incisive wit. I’m not looking toanger anyone, but if you find offense, I’ll provide this caveat: “It’s just ajoke guys. Geez, calm down.” Ahh…all the subtlety of blunt force trau-ma to the head.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. Pan-Hel. Is this truly a campus uni-fier? Yes because we are all drunk together! Wait. Well, the professorsdon’t come to class drunk, and I’m not sure how many appreciate the smellof whiskey in the morning. This is Wabash College. Do we need one solidweek of drinking in class? Is the sheer joy of drinking in class the idea thatthis is done at no other point of the year? That we’re violating some kindof rule? Certainly no one would dissuade a gentleman from his afternoonport, nor could one find it ungentlemanly to enjoy the occasional whiskeysour in moderation. As Patrick Smith would say, “Deny me my mint julep?HERESY!”

My qualm honestly is not with drinking in class. I could care less. How-ever, the idea of these games as necessary in their own right is interesting.Atug of war and a free-for-all gauntlet of stupidity on the mall? Whoopee!Are we having fun yet? No? Well hell. How about we just start fires!

This orgiastic spring bacchanal, (ooh…never thought of paganism inyour little Greek games did you? Pagans, Greeks? Gasp!) does nothing toserve our college. In fact, I would argue the mall’s newest scorched earthpolicy will hardly impress scores of alumni, trustees, or student familymembers expected to descend upon our campus in one month’s time forgraduation.

Does the admissions department appreciate the prospective ad cam-paign? Wabash College: where boys become men, men that drink with thematurity of high school boys. Ooh…we could do an entire ad campaignabout the fun side effects of cirrhosis!

Do students visit campus during Pan-Hel? One of the most worryingthoughts that enters the mind is that of a prospective on campus with Mom,Dad, and younger brothers Dick and Todd. (Note: the names have beenchanged to protect the identity of someone who will never return to Wabashacademia.) To cut a story short, imagine two forty-ounce bottles, a cooler,and the whole family analyzing the quality of the average, everyday Wabashacademic environment! Is this the right environment for our son to growinto a man? Well if he receives a Lilly scholarship, why not?!

I’m finished moralizing Wabash. This has been my rant, and it is over.Make your own conclusions in regard to Pan-Hel. The administration has-n’t taken it away yet, although we can always hope personal responsibilitywins out in the end. Hey, your liver will thank you.

Now For SomethingCompletely Different

OPINIONAPRIL 14, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 5

Dear Editor:I am writing to address some concerns raised in Mr. Smith’s editorial of last week about the moti-

vation and reasoning behind bringing back the Senior Council of Wabash College. I served as amember of the Student Life Committee while it was discussing the proposal and would like to clearup some of the confusions and conspiracy theories that I heard discussed on campus last week andin the editorial.

The main issue I want to address, and one which thoroughly confuses me, is the notion that theSenior Council is some kind of attempt to remove the independent voice from student government.What amazes me is that the Senior Council proposal was created in precisely the opposite spirit- aspirit of bringing a more balanced focus of student leaders into our student government and onewhich was supported on the Student Life Committee by leaders in both the organized and unorgan-ized men. It’s a shame that you’ve never been to an SLC meeting this semester Mr. Smith, for if youhad, you would have seen a series of positive discussions that have done more to assuage the frater-nity-independent divide than probably anything else this semester. On this committee, we are notfraternity or independent men, we are students each working in our own ways with the administra-tion and our peers to make student life better. Many of these people do not participate in StudentSenate, and so it’s no wonder that the Senate cannot make any headway on its constitutional powersto protect tradition and work with the administration on matters of mutual concern.

With that being said, the Senior Council has been established, and we should begin to look at waysthat it can best benefit students. The first step is to choose the right organizations to form the basisof the council. These organizations should be ones that have a history of promoting student life oncampus and have a history of elected leaders in the upper classes or organizations that have a pur-pose which enhances student life but needs to be strengthened internally. Think about what councilmembership could do for a club like Alpha Phi Omega, for example. If the Senior Council organi-zations rely on APO for aid and promotion of campus-wide philanthropy projects, then outside pres-sure should force that club to strengthen itself. Is a strong APO good for the campus? Well I don’tknow, do you think philanthropy is a good thing?

Once the council is formed, it should begin addressing issues in every facet of student life andbegin opening discussions with the administration about these issues. A new President and Dean nextyear will be eager to learn as much as possible about how Wabash runs; who better to teach themthan the students? An institution as valuable as the Gentlemen’s Rule, for example, has a much high-er probability of being protected if students show they are concerned about upholding it. The SeniorCouncil, properly composed, is the right body to do that in prior absence to anything effective at all.Do you think Dr. White would gain much from sitting in on a Senate debate where 33 people discusshow many Red Books to order or whether to give the German Club X amount of dollars? Better yet,would Dr. White gain much from sitting in on past Senates which adjourned on average after lessthan 10 minutes?

The last piece of the puzzle, and one that is very important to members of the Student Life Com-mittee who supported the proposal, is getting future Wabash freshmen started out on the right foot.Jeremy Burton, in his Baldwin Oratorical-winning speech, made the valid point that oftentimesWabash men seem isolated from each other in their living units during most of their time at the col-lege. There are only 800 guys here, so what’s the problem? It has been nearly 40 years now sincefreshmen shared a common experience upon coming to Wabash. True, the common experienceinvolved being tackled on the mall by upperclassmen for the coveted “cherry” that dotted each fresh-man pot, or trying to recover a green flag from atop a greased flagpole, but the main point is thatevery freshman, regardless of living unit or fraternity/independent status, participated in it. The onlypiece of these old traditions that remains today is Chapel Sing, but truly it has lost its way too sincethe fraternities still group together, with freshmen separated from their fellow freshmen. That’s nottruly a common experience in the sense that it used to be.

The Senior Council needs to work with its student organizations and with the administration toremold freshmen orientation- not with hazing, but with constructive activities for freshmen as a classso that bonds can be formed outside of the living units that will carry through four years at Wabash.A proper program will leave Wabash four years from now as a tighter community where the frater-nity and independent wars of today will be seen as utterly petty.

As a final note, I hope students such as Mr. Smith will take an interest in what the Senior Coun-cil will do and continue to contribute their ideas and/or complaints. We all should be working tomake Wabash a better place. The amendment ratified by the student body last week, I can assureyou, was crafted in the spirit of making this a better place- just ask the RA’s, fraternity presidents,Senate leaders, and major club leaders who supported it. Whose voice was shunned in the process?That’s the question I leave you with.

Best Regards,

Ross Dillard ‘07

Josh Chase Alan Harrisharrisj@wabash.edu

In this not-so-recent deba-cle involving the IMA minutesand The Wabash Commen-tary’s reporting one must real-ize that whether or not Presi-dent White or the Dean candi-date actually read the trashyminutes is irrelevant.

All things considered, asSecretary Coates so eloquentlyput in his letter, it was (tohighly understate it) “silly”(which was written four timesthroughout the letter to theeditor last week) of him towrite such disgusting, debas-ing, unprofessional, ungentle-manly minutes, while themembers of the IMA sat idleand let it continue. And then,in a letter to the editor, shovethe whole disgusting ordealunder the metaphorical rug of“tradition.” Habitualungentlemanliness, friends, isnot a tradition, do not presumeto call it so.

Colin Rudnik was quick tocome to the IMA and SecretaryCoates’s defense. He said TheWabash Commentary’s “opin-ion” on the article was a “newcrusade” and that SecretaryCoates was “the first casual-ty.” Although highly drama-tized, I suppose that givingstudents’ opinion on ungentle-manly writing gets that type ofpublicity.

As for the issue that Mr.Rudnik so ineloquently put, “Ihave committed worse thingsthan this, and with confidenceI can say the Commentary staffhas done so as well.” You areright in fact, Mr. Rudnik. Thedifference is, that when TheWabash Commentary did thesethings some years ago, theywere punished by the removalof their Senate funding. Onecould only be so lucky for theIMA and their blatant disre-gard for civility of action andthought. I’m sure the IMAPresident’s mother would not

be too pleased to hear that shewas referred to as a “whore” inthe IMA’s minutes. State-ments like that make the situa-tion everyone’s business, notjust an in-house issue.

The fact of this manner isthat my money, as a student, ispoured into the IMA’s coffers.Even if I’m not independent, Istill have a say on how theyshould govern themselvesbecause in the larger sense,I’m a stockholder and, let’sface it, I’m not happy.

It’s blatantly obvious thatthis was a habitual act, and itwas only brought into lightbecause the hand was caughtin the cookie jar. Now, withtails between legs, membersretreat and then point a fingerat The Wabash Commentarybecause they called out the sit-uation. Secretary Coates andthe IMA didn’t have “guilt”until President White walkedin the door and they werecaught in flagrante delicto.

This guilt was furtherdemonstrated by the attempt tosnatch up all the minutes,rather unsuccessfully I mustsay, before they were read. Asfor the practice of “crude jok-ing” being “habitual,” I canassure you that as an officer inanother campus club, thatnothing of this sort would everbe put into our official docu-mentation.

I think that Mr. Rudnikmissed the purpose of signingthe article “The Wabash Com-mentary Staff.” This is notbecause the staff members arehiding. If they were hiding,their names would not beprinted at the beginning ofeach issue in the table of con-tents, their names and e-mailson individual articles, and a“Love Us? Hate us? Write us!”advertisement in the issue.How cowardly of them. Thiswas to show that the staff, as agroup of 30 students that shov-

Failed Deflection

Even if I’m not independent, I still havea say on how they should govern

themselves because in the larger sense,I’m a stockholder and, let’s face it,

I’m not happy.

See IMA, Page 9

PAGE 6 • THE BACHELOR APRIL 14, 2006

STUFF

Happenings Around WabashPhotos by Kevin Shaw

APRIL 14, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 7

STUFF

CAVEMAN TO GENTLEMANSteve Eganegans@wabash.edu

With the holiday weekendmany of us will be travelinghome. Some will travel toother’s homes. While awayyou may want to keep a fewthings in mind to keep your-self from stinking in less thanthree days.

Don’t be like the cableman. Once you have madeplans to be a guest at some-one’s home, set a time whenyou will arrive and when youwill depart. If you’re a terri-ble guest, then this will givesomething for your host tolook forward to. This alsogives all parties involved achance to see what additionalplans need to be made (likeextra meals). Arriving whenyou say you will is important,as you don’t want anyone

waiting around for you allday.

Tell ‘em you don’t eat nuts.As a guest, you want tointrude on your hosts as littleas possible, but this doesn’tmean that you need to sacri-fice any of your own com-forts. If you have a foodallergy, let your host knowwell before arrival. This willmake it possible for your hostto prepare accordingly. If youplan to stay for several days,offer to take your host out todinner or even prepare a mealyourself. Never hesitate tooffer help when a host ispreparing a meal. Not step-ping on your host’s toes isimportant, but that doesn’tmean you should be miserableyour entire stay.

You’re not that interesting.Nobody wants to hang aroundanybody else for more than a

couple of hours. Don’t hesi-tate to do your own thingwhile a guest. If your host iswatching television it’s notrude to go into the next roomto read a book. Bring some-thing for yourself to do thatwill allow you to give you andyour host a break. Going outon your own is a good way torefresh yourself, but also tryto sticking to your host’sschedule. By sleeping whenyour host does, you can maxi-mize the time you havetogether. You don’t necessar-ily have to follow their entireroutine, but sticking to similarschedules makes planningactivities together much easi-er.

Empty hands are a badthing. If you’re staying some-where that isn’t family, a giftis always a good idea. Itdoesn’t have to be anything

big or extravagant, just a littlesomething to thank your hostfor opening their home. Abottle of wine is always asurefire backup. The gift isoften given upon your arrival,but saving it until the end ofstay can sweeten your depar-ture. A gift is a wonderfulway to say thanks, but if your

wallet can’t handle it, a shortnote sent shortly after yourstay will do fine. Showingyour appreciation is key.

As long as you keep yourhosts in mind during yourstay, you’ll be fine. Enjoyyourself and be sure your hostenjoys having you.

“Tell ‘em you don’t eat nuts. As a guest,you want to intrude on your hosts as

little as possible, but this doesn’t meanthat you need to sacrifice any of your

own comforts. If you have a food allergy, let your host know well

before arrival.”

STUFFPAGE 8 • THE BACHELOR APRIL 14, 2006

Austin Crowdercrowdera@wabash.edu

Cave Story is a great exam-ple of good gameplay tri-umphing over graphical mus-cle.

Technically speaking, thegame is woefully underpow-ered in a land of fully three-dimensional worlds andorchestrated game sound-tracks, choosing instead to usepixel art for its graphics andcheap midi synth for itsmusic.

Despite this, the game fea-tures great style and strongaction-adventure elementssimilar to the 16-bit SuperMetroid for free. You heardme right: this game is free-ware.

In Cave Story, you play asmall robot with amnesia whoawakens in the middle ofnowhere. After collectingyour first weapon, the gamelaunches you into the struggleof the Minigma inhabitants.

This leads to a mostly linearromp through different pixi-lated worlds, from a dragonegg hatchery to the outsidewall of a floating island.

Graphics, while pixilated,carry a consistent charm andstyle that isn’t often seen infreeware games.

What really makes the CaveStory game worth playing,though, is the weapon system.Throughout the game you col-lect some interesting and funnew weaponry. Each weaponworks in drastically differentways; the fireball gun, forexample, hugs the groundwhile the bubbler encases theplayer in a swirling shield ofelectrified bubbles that can befired all at once.

Each weapon has three lev-els; as you take damage,weapons can level down andlose useful abilities. This canget to be a real challenge inthe game when bosses knock afew levels off your favoritegun and force you to rethink

your strategy.Cave Story has

a pretty high diffi-culty level. Old-school shooterfans rejoice – thegame’s bossesthrow some nastycurve balls. (Ifyou’re in for abigger challenge,try refusing themachine gun earlyon.) Repeatedplays are awardedwith multiple end-ings, dependingon choices youmake in the pro-gression of thegame.

I highly recom-mend a gamepadfor this one – itwill make yourlife a lot easier.

If you’re a contra fan,you’ll like this game. Ifyou’re a Metroid fan, you’lllike this game.

Still not convinced? Thisgame is so good that VariantSoftware bought the rights tore-release it as a PSP game.Yes. It’s that good.

If you’re interested, down-load the translated game from:h t t p : / / w w w . a c i d -p l a y. c o m / d o w n l o a d / c a v e -story

Top 10 Summer Movie PreviewRobert Fenogliofenoglir@wabash.edu

This summer is going to be acrazy summer for movies. Thebox office has had a slump thepast year, and since Inside Man,the box office numbers have beengoing up. This will be the “makeor break” summer for movie stu-dios. I have chosen my Top 10Must-See Films for Summer, inorder, and given predictions. Thissummer has vast potential, thanksto the lack of sequels and comicbook movies.

1. X-Men: The Last Stand –May 26

This is definitely going to beone of the best movies this sum-mer. I expect great things from thisfilm. It has the best plot of the tril-ogy (a cure for mutants) and hasall of the best characters. The pre-views look amazing and the actingwill be amazing, as in the first two.Just a note: no other wide releasesare thinking about this weekend,which is a great sign. I expect abox office return somewhere

between $250-280 million.

2. Mission: Impossible III –May 5

Tom Cruise has put out somefantastic movies lately and with JJAbrams (LOST) directing thisfilm, I am kind of biased. I knowthis will kick off the summer sea-son and will be a preview of excel-lent things to come. Plus, it willhave explosions and kick-assstunts. I expect a box office returnsomewhere between $215-255million.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean:Dead Man’s Chest – July 7

Keira Knightley and KeiraKnightley. Johnny Depp is thecoolest actor around and OrlandoBloom has some time to redeemhimself for Elizabethtown. I havea feeling it will be better than thefirst and will feature a lot moreaction and more quick quips fromCaptain Jack Sparrow. I expect abox office return somewherebetween $300-350 million.

3. The Break Up – June 2

Vince Vaughn has had a stringof hits under his belt the past fewfilms, and the publicity surround-ing this film (him and JenniferAniston dating) only helps. Jen-nifer Aniston has proved she canact and will showcase her comedicside and try to find a niche for her-self. This could very well be thego-to-comedy of the summer. Iexpect a box office return some-where between $165-200 million.

5. The Da Vinci Code – May19

This movie is going to be bigand will cause quite a competitionat the box office. All of the fans ofthe book are going to flock to thisfilm and help it become a phe-nomenon. I smell another culturalphenomenon the magnitude ofHarry Potter. Tom Hanks is a fan-tastic actor and he will draw innon-readers. I expect a box-officereturn somewhere between $265-300 million.

6. Cars – June 9Pixar will score again, as

always, with its animation. None

of Pixar’s films ever disappointand this one will probably followthis tradition. The animation willbe exquisite along with the heart-ening story at the center. I expect abox office return somewherebetween $245-275 million.

7. Poseidon – May 5 This movie will either be really

awful or really good. There is nomiddle ground. The special effectslook amazing, but will the moviesink in its own spectacles?Richard Dreyfus, from the origi-nal, has a role, so it must be at leastslightly good. There was just a TVmovie on NBC a couple ofmonths back, so will movie goersrush out to see this? I expect a boxoffice return somewhere between$130-160 million.

8. Superman Returns – June 30I am not a very big “Man of

Steel” fan, but this film, if it fol-lows the same path that BatmanBegins did, could be a very goodfilm. The special effects will beamazing, but will the story? Iexpect a box office return some-

where between $185-225 million.

9. The Omen – June 6The original, from 1976, was a

huge hit and scared me as a child.It had more of the creepiness thanblood and guts. It was a psycho-logical thriller and the preview forthis film, featuring the antichrist,Damien, swinging on a swingwith a scary-as-hell smirk isenough to scare me to want to seethis. Plus, the genius marketing ofhaving its release date 6-6-(0)6 isbrilliant on its own. I expect a boxoffice return between $90-125million.

10. Strangers with Candy –June 30

I am a big fan of the cult seriesthat had three seasons on ComedyCentral in the late ‘90s and early‘00s. The comedy is dry and wittywith awkward silences compara-ble to that of The Office. I havebig expectations for this film. Itwas also independently produced,which is a good sign. I expect abox office return somewherebetween $20-40 million.

CAVE STORY: AMAZING WEAPONS, TERRIBLE GRAPHICS

OPINIONAPRIL 14, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 9

dents. The close interaction withfaculty attracts students. In otherwords, in the America of 8th andOcean and American Idol, it issupremely difficult to maintain ahigh standard of liberal arts edu-cation without money. Sorry,campers, but – as Peter Shaffer’sJoseph II would say – there it is.

Under Ford, Wabash hasflourished. I am not sure that onecould logically disagree. Themilieu of higher education dur-ing the last decade or so is notpretty. However, the storms thathave rocked other institutionshave bypassed Wabash. Ourmost recent all-campus crisiswas unacceptable rudeness (or,to be charitable, bad manners)masquerading as “old-timey”masculinity. Unlike the massive,repressive response that a similarproblem would have provoked atother schools, we had a paneldiscussion. That sounds morelike Dwight Eisenhower’s Amer-ica than 2005. That example,hyperbole or not, should tell the

intelligent observer how wellFord has managed the college.

Wabash, thanks in most partto Andy Ford, is a happy throw-back to the liberal arts traditionof fifty or even one hundredyears ago. Under his manage-ment, the college has prospered,making such welcome anachro-nism possible. He has left a deepand clear mark on Wabash, and –in the final account – it is for thebest. It might be a little prema-ture, but I think it’s safe to assertthat Wabash has had three greatleaders in the post-war era:Frank H. Sparks, Byron K. Trip-pet, and Andrew T. Ford.

Am I worried about Wabash?My title and long-winded intro-duction might suggest that I amperturbed by change. Not really,though I do not like change if Ican help it. However, I wonder ifanyone could follow Andy Fordwith the same level of success. Iam sure that there will bechanges, but I am equally surethat the policy machinery estab-lished by Ford will last for a longtime. Moreover, for the foresee-able future, when one looks atWabash, he’ll be seeing AndyFord’s Wabash.

FordFrom Page 4

Tim Rickardrickardt@wabash.edu

The most fervent topic in thenation concerns the country’spolicy on the strengthening ofthe southern border and the con-flict over the fate of illegalimmigrants living and workingin the United States. As a citi-zen of this melting pot calledAmerica, my convictions callfor immediate action with ille-gal immigrants through massregistration, not blanketamnesty. The support for blan-ket amnesty given to illegalimmigrants has two majorflaws. The first falls on the U.S.citizens, and the second on theillegal immigrants themselves.

As U.S. citizens, we paytaxes, social security, andMedicare for benefits likehealthcare, public schools, andpublic protection (with fire andpolice departments) in hopesthat someday when we needthese services they will beavailable for ourselves and ourchildren. Illegal immigrantsliving in the U.S. do not pay anyof these, yet they are awardedthe same benefits as any U.S.citizen (excluding the right tovote). Their children are sent topublic schools where, if the ille-gal immigrant populationincreases, become overpopulat-ed and subsequently underfunded.

Then there is the languagebarrier that exists between stu-dents and teachers and studentsand students, which is not fairfor anybody. Teachers want toconduct efficient classes whereeveryone can understand them,students want to be able to com-municate to each other, andimmigrant children wish tounderstand what their beingtaught. Education should not berefused, yet special demands forimmigrant children to learnEnglish seems to do so.

Registration would allow thegovernment to take a moreaccurate census of each state sothat effective programs forteaching essential life-skills,like the English as a SecondLanguage Program, are betterfunded.

Public schools are not theonly casualty in illegal immi-grants’ shirking of their fiscalresponsibilities; the revenuethat they earn is not taxed by thegovernment. Programs likesocial security, Medicare, andunemployment do not receivethe funding they would if illegalimmigrants were registered.

The revenue from 3.3 millionimmigrants would boost oureconomy, if in fact they were allpaying taxes and putting moneyin the pot from which they draw.The economy might be badwithout immigrants, but itwould be better with them legal.

The legal remedies of regis-tration, not blanket amnesty,would provide benefits for bothcitizens and future citizens.

First, immigrants would beable to vote, one of the mosttreasured rights of an Americancitizen. As illegal immigrantsthey cannot vote, and should notbe able to vote for obvious rea-sons; it would set a precedentthat would allow Germans (forexample) to make a trip to theU.S. during election time andvote for a leader that would ben-efit their country.

Second, immigrant laborwould not be ruthlessly exploit-ed as it is now, because, as U.S.citizens, their entitlement to atleast minimum wage wouldmake employers accountablefor the labor they employ.

Finally, immigrant tax dol-lars would be able to pay for theeducation of their children.

I am not advocating that weshould deny any illegal immi-grant healthcare, because ashuman beings they deserve it.

I believe that the minute theyget out of the hospital, they bedetained until they commencethe paperwork and register to bea citizen. This would both

ensure their human rights, andplace them in a position tobecome an American citizen.This is one of the possible grad-ual solutions to the illegalimmigrant problem. Anothersuggestion is to award citizen-ship after successful completionof four years in the armedforces.

The problems I have withblanket amnesty for illegalimmigrants are first, that blan-ket amnesty may become a reg-ular policy, which depreciatesthe time and effort that otherformer immigrants have putforth to become citizens of thiscountry.

Second, the endowed U.S.citizenship rights of legal resi-dents will take a backseat toperceived citizen-like rights ofillegal immigrants, whichreflects poorly on representativedemocracy if the governmentsupports non-citizens over legalcitizens. The governmentwould then be able to representpeople in other countries withno thought of its true con-stituents.

Finally the U.S. should notaccept everybody that comes inthis country. If a person has acriminal record in one country,they shouldn’t be allowed inthis one. We have our owncriminals to feed and house.Blanket amnesty is the easysolution, but in no way is it thecorrect one. The results wouldbe dangerous and undemocratic.

The greater interests of thecountry are at stake, as are theinterests of the individuals thatare here illegally. This issue is acomplicated one, and cannot besolved in a single Bachelor arti-cle, but my goal is to inspireeveryone to voice their opinionsover these issues as I have withletters to my Congressmen.

Immigration Issues cometo the National Spotlight

el money at the IMA, do notagree with this act, and werewilling to tell them about it.In his article, Mr. Rudnik stat-ed that, “It is by no means inthe purview of the Commen-tary to pass judgment on peo-ple with whom it has no con-nection.” Once again, basedon monetary contribution tothe organization, because staffmembers are students of thiscollege and contribute to theStudent Senate Fund, they dohave a connection, and a verystrong one at that. These staffmembers, independent orGreek, as fellow students,

hold the checkbook for theIMA. By writing articles suchas these dealing with the vio-lations of the Gentleman’sRule, (because of their capaci-ty as members of the studentbody) they are holding theirpeers to a higher accountabili-ty, rather than excuses andaccusations shrouded in theform of exposés coming alltoo quick to defend the actionsof ungentlemanly behavior.

I’m reminded of what LadyBird Johnson told her daugh-ters upon her husband’s inau-guration: “Never say anythingyou wouldn’t want printed onthe front of the Times.” Per-haps Mr. Coates and membersof the IMA should learn to liveby this advice. Unfortunately,they had to learn the hard way.

IMAFrom Page 5

Illegal immigrants living in the U.S.do not pay any of these, yet they are

awarded the same benefits as any U.S. citizen

(excluding the right to vote).

Support Wabash TheaterThe Braggart Soldier

April 19-228 pm, Ball Theater

SPORTSPAGE 10 • THE BACHELOR APRIL 14, 2006

Aaron Parrishsports editor

The NCAC West Division ishaving a showdown of thetitans this weekend, featuringtwo teams that are essentiallytied: Ohio Wesleyan andWabash. In conference play,Ohio Wesleyan sits in first dueonly to the virtue of havingplayed more games.

With the Bishops at 9-3 andthe Little Giants at 6-2, theteams have both won three-quarters of their games. Withfour games coming up thisweekend, both teams have achance to earn a little separa-tion with only a few gamesleft. In Ohio Wesleyan’s finalnine games, only the four thisweekend are in the NCACWest. Wabash has four gameswith a Denison team that hasgone 3-9 in conference play inaddition to the date with theBishops.

Both teams also have verycomparable overall records:Wabash at 16-12 and OhioWesleyan at 17-10. Ohio Wes-leyan is coming into the gameson a hot streak, winning four oftheir last five games, including21-2 and 11-2 wins over Deni-son last Sunday. The LittleGiants are also coming in on aroll, winning seven of their lastten. Two of those losses wereto Wittenberg last Saturday,but were quickly avenged withtwo wins on Sunday.

Both Wabash and Ohio Wes-leyan are looking up to Woost-er in the NCAC East. Woosterhas gone 25-4 overall, andowns an 11-1 record in theconference. The FightingScots have only Hiram left ontheir conference schedule.Hiram has gone 8-17 overall,and only 3-5 in the conference.Wooster will also host theNCAC championships thisyear in Springfield, OH. If theScots win the conference titlethis year, it would make theirfourth in five years.

The games this weekend forthe Little Giants will be todayand tomorrow, both starting atnoon. Both double-headerswill have seven inning games.The Bishops swept Wabashlast year, but Wabash hasproved to be a much more con-sistent and all-aroundimproved team this year. Witha few wins this weekend,Wabash baseball will put itselfin excellent position to captureits first NCAC title outside offootball.

BaseballLooks toPull Aheadin NCACLeft: Chris Schmaltz improved to 5-1 on the season with a four-hit wictory over Wittenberg.

Below: Rookie second baseman Mike Nowak turns a doubleplay in Sunday’s 3-1 win over Wittenberg. This was one of twoWabash double plays in Sunday’s game.

PHOTOS BY JIM AMIDON

SPORTSAPRIL 14, 2006 THE BACHELOR • PAGE 11

WThe Indianapolis Association of Wabash Men

WABASH ALWAYS FIGHTS!

Says

Good luck to track at Millikin

Good luck Tennis against Ohio Wesleyan

Good luck to golf at Wooster

Good luck to baseball at Ohio Wesleyan

Ashley Stephennews editor

“An awesome race.” That’show Assistant Coach JamieLemmond characterized the4x400-meter relay, in whichthe team of sophomore BartBanach, junior Nathan Bates,and sophomores Mike Russelland Geoff Lambert outrantheir competition. Their timeof 3:18.93 was 1.05 secondsfaster than that of the second-place team.

“Those four guys each hadto run really smart and reallyhard,” Coach Lemmond said.“The time was good, the com-petition was good, and theywon as Wabash men.”

“The three guys before meran great legs and I just wantedto make sure I gave them thesame effort,” anchor-leg run-ner Geoff Lambert said. “MikeRussell gave me the baton inthe lead and I didn’t want to letthe guys down.”

The Little Giants scored 36points on their way to 9thplace overall in the IndianaIntercollegiate Track and FieldChampionships this past week-end. Indianapolis won themeet, scoring 126 points, fol-lowed by Anderson with 90points and Vincennes with 87.

The Little State meetincludes participants fromnearly every college in thestate which does not have aDivision I basketball program.

Geoff Lambert entered themeet as the defending champi-on in the 800-meter run. And,after facing down a few chal-lenges and running a well-planned race, Lambert left themeet as a two-time defendingchampion in that race.

When asked about his per-formance in the 800, GeoffLambert was more interestedin complimenting his team-mates. “I might have won apersonal championship todaybut other people on the team

had better performances,” hesaid. “Sam Compton-Craigand Hugh Jackson might nothave won their events but theydefinitely stepped up and hadgreat races.”

Nonetheless, in honor of hisperformance, Lambert wasnamed the NCAC Middle-Dis-tance/Distance Runner of theWeek. His time of 1:54.37 wasmore than 2 seconds fasterthan the next finisher.

“You hate to take a kid likeGeoff for granted,” CoachLemmond said. “He was anindividual champion at proba-bly our toughest meet, and yetthere was no one there to pushhim.”

On Friday night, juniorDennis Frazee scored pointsfor the Little Giants. He ran hisway to a fifth-place finish inthe 10,000-meter run in a timeof 32:24.12. Junior DustinBeck finished 15th.

Also on Friday, in the 3000-meter steeplechase, freshman

Sam Compton-Craig ran hisway to a PR time of 9:48.08and an eighth-place finish.Senior Ethan Paul also ran aPR of 9:59.92 on his way tofinishing 14th.

In the 4x100-meter relay,the team of Bart Banach,Nathan Bates, Mike Russell,and freshman Ja’Michael Hillfinished third. The team ran aseason-best time of 42.76.

“The handoffs [in the4x100] were a bit shaky butonce we put the technical partinto it, we should fly,” CoachLemmond said.

In the 1500-meter run,freshman Hugh Jackson ran anamazing race finishing in a PRtime of 4:05.77. Finishing10th, he missed the scoringpositions by 0.53 seconds.

In the 400-meter dash,Nathan Bates took fourthplace, finishing in a time of49.33. Running the finals inlane seven, Bates managed tochase down a few competitors

in the last 100 meters.“[Bates] ran a hard first 200

and then a hard last 110,”Coach Lemmond said. “Hislast 50 meters was fun towatch because of how much hewanted it.”

Coach Jamie Lemmond waspleased with the team’s per-formances but was hoping formore. “We did ok,” he said.“There were only a few reallybig moments. Richard Roomes[in the 200-meter dash] andHugh Jackson [in the 1500-meter run] both had goodraces.”

The track team competesthis Saturday in the MillikinUniversity Classic at Decatur,Illinois, before returning homefor the Wabash Invitational,which will serve as the team’sfinal tune-up before the con-ference meet. The NCACChampionships will be May 4and 5 at Ohio Wesleyan.

Little State at IUPUI

Robert Fenogliofenoglir@wabash.edu

The Wabash Golf Team hashad a great season and somenote-worthy performancesfrom its golfers. This pastweekend’s performance wasnot their strongest, but theymanaged to get some finescores.

Wabash finished with ascore of 334 as a team on Sat-urday at the Siena HeightsUniversity Spring Golf Invita-tional at Lenawee CountryClub, located in Adrian,Michigan.

One of the key players,freshmen Jordan Vice, tied for11th with a one-round total of80. Senior Elliot Vice finishedin a four-way tie for 16th witha total of 81. Senior AaronSelby shot an 85, giving him atie for a 32nd place finish.Junior Devin Bennett, with afinal score of 88, was tied for

39th place. Freshman BryanArnold, who completed theevent with a score of 90 for theround, was firmly set in 45thplace. There were 52 partici-pants in the invitational.

“Our season has gotten offto a great start,” Elliot Vicesaid. “This past weekend wasnot our best performance. Weare capable of much betterscores as a team, and will workto improve to reach our goalsin the upcoming weeks. Welook to improve on our per-formance this past weekend asthe most important part of ourseason approaches. Look forimproved scores in the remain-ing four events from the entireteam.”

The Little Giants will playin the Wooster Invitational atthe Wooster Country Club inWooster, Ohio this Friday andSaturday.

Little Giants SwingTheir Way to 8th Place

Track Meets Expectations

THE BACHELOR • PAGE 12 • APRIL 14, 2006SPORTS

Little State at IUPUI, once again proved to be a stage forstrong individual performances for Wabash track. ManyWabash runners posted personal bests and Wabash’s relayteams ran outstandingly. See Page 11 for full coverage.

Left: Dennis Frazee competes in the 5,000m run on Saturday at Little State.

Below: The winning 4x400 team poses after their victory over the competition (Left-Right:Geoff Lambert, Mike Russell, Nathan Bates and Bart Banach).