High-Performance Communication, August 2014
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Slides from a video-conference on High-Performance Communication with a distributed management team.
Transcript of High-Performance Communication, August 2014
High-performancecommunication
Photo by Andres Rueda [link]
Ed BatistaAugust 4, 2014
Photo:
Seth
Anders
on
Who am I?
Executive coachInstructor @ Stanford GSBwww.edbatista.comHBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
Discussion #1Today’s headlineThe simplest feedback modelFeelingsThe net
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
The headlineFeedback = essential for learningBut also stressfulSo create safetyBy criticizing with skill& expressing more appreciation
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The simplestWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
The simplestWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model
FeelingsDisclosing feelings = vulnerableBut feelings influenceAnd vulnerability closenessComfort with discomfort
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
The netDavid BradfordHow to improve communication?
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
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The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
The netStay on our side of the netFocus on observed behaviorDisclose our responseWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
Discussion #25 levelsHierarchy of needsSafety, trust, intimacySocial threatSCARF model
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
5 levels
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Richard FranciscoIn what ways do we communicate?Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
5 levels1: Ritual2: Extended Ritual3: Content4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
5 levels
5: Feelings About Each Other
HardestRiskiest
Most powerful for feedback
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Abraham MaslowWhat motivates us as human beings?
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Physiological
Safety
Love & belonging
Esteem
Self-actualization
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Parallels in groups & relationships
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability
Learning, self-awareness & change
In groups & relationships…
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
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Safety, trust,intimacySafety = I won’t get hurtTrust = I believe you & you believe meIntimacy = We can make the private public
Safety, trust,intimacyFeedback can create these qualitiesBut there’s a problem…
Can I give you
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
some feedback?
Feedback and
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social threat
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
Physiological
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
Emotional
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
CognitiveDecision-makingProblem-solvingCollaboration
Photo by State Farm [link]
Social threat(Some) social situations ≈ Physical threatsMany times/dayMost common location?
Social threatPhysiological/emotional response plus…Cognitive impairmentDecision-makingProblem-solvingCollaboration
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Social threatResult?Massive communication failureWe give feedback ineffectivelyWe receive it poorly
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model
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David RockWhat social situationstrigger a threatresponse?
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF modelDavid RockWhat social situations trigger a threat response?How can we minimize the risk of social threat?How can we create safety?
SCARF modelStatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
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Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
Use the modelWhen giving feedback…Be mindful of statusMinimize uncertaintyMaximize autonomyBuild the relationship*Play fair*
Use the modelWhen getting feedback…Cultivate in-the-moment awarenessRecognize our threat responseManage our emotionsSlow things down
Discussion #3RelationshipsThe net (again)MindsetSoft start
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
Photo by Harsha KR [link]
Relationships
John GottmanWhat characterizes successful relationships?
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RelationshipsFeeling known by the otherA culture of appreciationResponding to “bids”Mutual influence
The net
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
(again)
The netHow to improve communication?How to minimize defensiveness?How can we play fair?
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
What I knowMe
Myintention
Mybehavi
or
What I don’tYou
Yourrespons
e
What you know
You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
or
What you don’tMe
Myintention
Use the modelStay on our side of the netFocus on observed behaviorDisclose our responseWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
Use the modelIntent ≠ impactMy intention doesn’t guarantee your responseImpact ≠ intentYour response wasn’t necessarily my intention
Use the modelResult?Lower risk of social threatLess chance of defensivenessIncreased sense of fairness
Carol DweckHow do we feel about our abilities?How do we feel about our mistakes?
Mindset
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]
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Talent & intelligence are inherent traits
Mistakes are failures or character flaws
Negative emotional response to mistakes
Talent & intelligence can be developed
Mistakes are learning opportunities
Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more
Fixed Growth
Mindset
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Soft start
Photo by Phil McElhinney [link]
Not like this
Soft start
Photo by OakleyOriginals [link]
Like this
Soft startBegin with positive intent(But don’t bullshit)Emphasize mutual goalsBe mindful of your stress
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To sum upBuild safety, trust & intimacyUse the modelsMinimize social threatLess stressful feedbackMore learning
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
Building a Feedback-Rich CultureHBR Guide to Coaching Your EmployeesMy background & coaching practice:
www.edbatista.com/about.htmlContact me:
www.edbatista.com/contact.html
For more info…
