High-Performance Communication, August 2014

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Slides from a video-conference on High-Performance Communication with a distributed management team.

Transcript of High-Performance Communication, August 2014

  • High-performance communication Photo by Andres Rueda [link] Ed Batista August 4, 2014
  • Photo:SethAnderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
  • Discussion #1 Todays headline The simplest feedback model Feelings The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • The headline Feedback = essential for learning But also stressful So create safety By criticizing with skill & expressing more appreciation Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
  • The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
  • The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model
  • Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings influence And vulnerability closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
  • The net David Bradford How to improve communication? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Read More
  • The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  • The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  • Discussion #2 5 levels Hierarchy of needs Safety, trust, intimacy Social threat SCARF model Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • 5 levels Photo by Rita Willaert [link] Richard Francisco In what ways do we communicate? Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
  • 5 levels1: Ritual 2: Extended Ritual 3: Content 4: Feelings About Content 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  • 5 levels 5: Feelings About Each Other Hardest Riskiest Most powerful for feedback Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
  • Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings?
  • Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Physiological Safety Love & belonging Esteem Self-actualization
  • Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Parallels in groups & relationships
  • Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Psychological safety, trust & intimacy Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability Learning, self- awareness & change In groups & relationships
  • Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy Read More
  • Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I wont get hurt Trust = I believe you & you believe me Intimacy = We can make the private public
  • Safety, trust, intimacy Feedback can create these qualities But theres a problem
  • Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
  • Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
  • Threat response aka Fight, flight or freeze Physiological Photo by State Farm [link]
  • Threat response aka Fight, flight or freeze Emotional Photo by State Farm [link]
  • Threat response aka Fight, flight or freeze Cognitive Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by State Farm [link]
  • Social threat (Some) social situations Physical threats Many times/day Most common location?
  • Social threat Physiological/emotional response plus Cognitive impairment Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  • Social threat Result? Massive communication failure We give feedback ineffectively We receive it poorly Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
  • Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model Read More David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response?
  • Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? How can we minimize the risk of social threat? How can we create safety?
  • SCARF model Status Certainty Autonomy Relatedness Fairness Read More
  • Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Use the model When giving feedback Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair*
  • Use the model When getting feedback Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Slow things down
  • Discussion #3 Relationships The net (again) Mindset Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
  • Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More
  • Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to bids Mutual influence
  • The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] (again)
  • The net How to improve communication? How to minimize defensiveness? How can we play fair? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
  • The net Me You Your response My behavior My intention
  • What I know Me My intention My behavior
  • What I dont You Your response
  • What you know You Your response My behavior
  • What you dont Me My intention
  • Use the model Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
  • Use the model Intent impact My intention doesnt guarantee your response Impact intent Your response wasnt necessarily my intention
  • Use the model Result? Lower risk of social threat Less chance of defensiveness Increased sense of fairness
  • Carol Dweck How do we feel about our abilities? How do we feel about our mistakes? Mindset Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] Read More
  • Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Fixed Growth Mindset Read More
  • Soft start Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
  • Soft start Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
  • Soft start Begin with positive intent (But dont bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
  • To sum up Build safety, trust & intimacy Use the models Minimize social threat Less stressful feedback More learning Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
  • Challenge yourself Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
  • Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Thank you!
  • Building a Feedback-Rich Culture HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees My background & coaching practice: www.edbatista.com/about.html Contact me: www.edbatista.com/contact.html For more info