ISSUE 1

INSIDE:HERTFORD MCR TERMSWHY MORE WOMEN SHOULD ROWHOME IS WHERE THE HEART ISAN AFTERNOON AT THE BRITISH MUSEUM

Will Hutton, Principal

Term MT-2014: HT-2015

“Magazines are a bit like parties: just as a good party needs people to turn up, so good maga-zines need people ready to come forward and write, edit – and above all read it.”

HERTFORD MCR MAGAZINE

WHY THE HARTPublications form the core of intelligent commu-nications. Newspapers, magazines, books carry knowledge and information in the most pellucid form. Things that cannot be conveyed through speech or personal conversations can easily make greater impact through publications.

Hetford MCR has started 'The Hart' to convey its own message to the world.

AsAs a student group of diverse backgrounds and disciplines, our MCR has an opportunity to culti-vate multiculturalism, multi-talentship and reap the best benefits. However, MCRs are generally considered only as a place for social interactions. I think with proper encouragement from college, the structure and purpose of MCR can get a new meaning.meaning. Unlike departments or institutes, col-leges have a ready pool of graduates with multi-disciplinary backgrounds. And a purposeful inter-actions among them can have significant impact on intellectual and research outcomes.

Mustak Ibn Ayub,MCR President

THE HARTMAGAZINEISSUE 1 II MT-14, HT-15

EDITORRachel Spratley

PANEL EDITORSGeorgia Melodie HoleMariangela PannielloLeah Taylor KearneyCalla GlCalla Glavin

EXECUTIVE EDITORMustak Ibn Ayub

DESIGN

Guru Graphicshttp://gurugraphics.co.uk/020 8774 7155

CONTENTS

CREATIVE CORNER:

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

FEATURE: AN AFTERNOON AT THE BRITISH MUSEUM

ENTERPRISE: SOLIVAGANTS STATIONERY

EMPOWERMENT: WHY MORE WOMEN SHOULD ROW

BOOK CORNER: ONLINE MARKETING TO INVESTORSHOW TO DEVELOP EFFECTIVE INVESTOR RELATIONS

CHRISTOPHER TYERMAN

ALISON WOOLLARD

WILL HUTTON

MUSTAK IBN AYUB

MEGAN JEFFERIES

GEORGIA M. HOLEGEORGIA M. HOLE

CAITLIN COOK

HOLLY REDFORD JONES

GEORGIA M. HOLE

DAVID HAXELL

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“THE STAGIFESTO”: AN ONGOING DISCOURSE

MESSAGE FROM COLLEGE DEAN

HERTFORD COLLEGE MCR TERMS

PORTER’S LODGE: A LETTER FROM THE PORTER’S LODGE

MESSAGE FROM PRINCIPAL

MESSAGE FROM TUTOR FOR GRADUATES

“SHOES” BY JOE D’AMORE “BRIDGE” BY NAOKO HOSOKAWA “BODILY LOVE” BY MUSTAK IBN AYUB

EDITORIAL

EditorialWhen I rst arrived at Hertford last October I had no idea what to expect - from All Souls entrance exams to e Bullingdon Club, Oxford certainly isn’t short of an urban myth or two. But, and I think I’m speaking for the majori-tty of new postgrad students, any doubts or fears I had dissipated

the moment I stepped into the Hertford MCR. e warmth and spirit of our postgraduate community is something to celebrate: and that’s what this magazine in-tends to do. From highlighting the personal achievements of our members, showing off our creative talent and revelling in the beautiful eccentricities that make Hertford special, this magazine will be rolling out at the end of each term (with an extra dose of Simpkins if you all behave).

We asked for your contributions and you certainly didn’t disappoint so thanks to all of you who showed such great enthusiasm for this project. We’ve got great articles, creative work and a cracking piece about Caitlin Cook’s gorgeous greetings card business Solivagants Stationery, www.soliva-gants.com (‘I squid you not’ is my personal favourite). So, as Hilary Term draws to a close, bask in the comforting glow of alall things Hertfordian. Step away from that peer review piece, grab a cup of tea and enjoy.

Rachel Spratle

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Christopher TyermanTutor for Graduates

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THE HARTThe greatest transformation witnessed by the University of Oxford and Herford College in the last fifty years has been the growth of post-graduate studies and the num-bers reading for higher degrees. MCRs now vie with JCRs for space and attention in ways unimaginable a generation ago. The demand for higher degrees reflects economic change and an increasingly global reach for academic skills that encourages individualsacademic skills that encourages individuals’ transforma-tive ambitions within communities that benefit from their diverse talents. The paradox of post-graduate study sets the solitariness of individual research within sus-taining societies without which personal academic achievement is impossible. The accommodation of this contrast is what universities are for. It is also what college Middle Common Rooms were created to assist. But common rooms can be just that: spaces that func-tion only when inhabited and are otherwise derelict. To provide a permanent sense and reality of shared experi-ence and interests, communal institutions need to be es-tablished. This is where The Hart comes in and why it is to be welcomed not just by the MCR but by the whole college as a forum and focus for graduates to pool ideas, news, research, arguments, feelings and impres-sions. It must be hoped that as The Hart becomes a fa-miliar beast, it will evolve from parish pump to academ-ic showcase. Congratulations on the first edition and greetings to this new partner in our collective scholarly life.

Alison WoollardDean

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THE HARTIt's great to see this new venture for the MCR and I wish you all suc-cess. It has seemed to me over the past couple of years that the MCR is determined to find an independent voice within the College com-munity and this publication will hopefully be an important part of that. I'm not sure you all realize just how important you are to the future success and vitality of academia throughout the world - that global community of scholars to which we all belong in one way or another. I have always said, and will always say, that working with graduate students in my lab is the most rewarding part of my job. It is also the most productive! I love that exciting transition when a student gets into the driving seat of their research, when the lure of new data and creative ideas becomes almost a mania! Excellent graduate work is the cornerstone of any academic career. No one ever asks me which university I was an undergraduate at, but they do ask where I did my PhD, and what it was about. But we live in do ask where I did my PhD, and what it was about. But we live in challenging times for research: funding has never been so difficult, there is global competition, and an all pervading "impact" agenda - no matter what your discipline is. One of the ways to maximise the chances of success in my view is to build community, and then use it. In scholarship, as in any other walk of life, communities provide nourishment, collegiality, resource and creativity; a sandpit for ideas, innovation and new ways of thinking. In Oxford Colleges we ideas, innovation and new ways of thinking. In Oxford Colleges we have that ready-made community, but graduates often feel sidelined because they think their work is too specialised, not of general inter-est. How wrong this is. I challenge any of you to spend half an hour having a proper conversation with another graduate student you have never spoken to before and not find anything of interest or rele-vance to your own academic world. Come together from your labs and libraries and exchange ideas, skills, knowledge, outlook, impact. Simply appreciating and understanding someone else's work will make you a better scholar. If you can apply even a nougat of an idea to your own work then that would have made the conversation price-less. One of the very strong lessons of my career so far is never to turn your back on an opportunity, no matter how busy you think you are. This magazine is one of those opportunities, so start something big!

THE HART

Will Hutton, Principal

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Congratulations to the Hertford MCR for their great initia-tive in launching the Hertford MCR magazine – and espe-cially to those who have given up time to edit and write it, not to mention those who read it ! It should not surprise anyone that as a former editor as well as being the college Principal I very much welcome what you are doing. I think newspapers and magazines, apart from being enormous fun, are part of the social and civic clue whether at national or college level. They pull people together, and give a sense of shared endeavour – and also let people know what is going on. Don't worry about early glitches. If your first edition is like any other I have worked on, you will already be thinking of ways of improving it – commissioning in-triguing pieces and working on the lay out, thinking of illustrations and outside the box items. But the big thing it is happening. I encourage everyone to get involved. Maga-zines are a bit like parties: just as a good party needs people to turn up, so good magazines need people ready to come forward and write, edit – and above all read it. So get in-volved! Very good luck,

My best wishes

Will Hutton

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Hertford College MCR is a vibrant place- full of events and initiatives all the year round. As a diverse community, MCR encourages events with such variety and taste to include anyone and everyone.Our events are spread over three terms- Michaelmas (October-December), Hilary (January- March) and Trinity (April- June). Let’s have a review of our previous terms- what we were involved in beyond our life in the labs,

classrooms and libraries.classrooms and libraries.

Mustak Ibn Ayub,Hertford College MCRPresident

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HERTFORDCOLLEGE MCR TERMS

THINGS WE DO...

...BESIDES RESEARCH, LIBRARY OR EXAMS

Michaelmas is the term when the MCR re-sounds with the excitement of the incoming freshers. Hertford MCR has amassed a reputa-tion for being the most active and supportive MCR during Freshers' Week, which started in Week -1 (23rd September) and extended to +1 week (18th October). The Freshers’ Term was full of events where new students gathered and networked with each other.' We put extra em-phasis on this period as the friendships formed then can build and thrive in the busier times of Oxford life.

This year we organized drinks receptions, pub crawls, a garden party, and most importantly the Matriculation ball on the evening of the Matriculation day.After these Freshers’ Week activities, our regular events continued to be equal-ly fascinating and inclusive. Michaelmas is the term when the nights are long and darkness reigns outside. But in the MCR we used that as an opportunity to enlighten ourselves with readings and music in a ‘whisky, shortbread poetry evening’. We shook off the gloominess with Jazz and cocktails. We also shared our talents with others at the Open Mic Night.December was full of festivity- we organised a Secret Santa and then a sumptu-ous Christmas Dinner. This year we also introduced a Christmas Lecture. Sir Walter Bodmer, former principal of Hertford College and a leader in Cancer re-search delivered a lecture in Hertford college hall.

Matriculation Ball

Christmas Lecture 7

MICHAELMAS TERM 2014

Beyond these ‘serious’ events there are of course bops for the party goers. Hertford bops are now becoming a regular desti-

nation to bop-lovers from many other colleges too.

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Christmas Fun

MCR Secret Santa

Matriculation Ball Survivors

Christmas Jumpers

MCR Quiz Night

HILARY TERM 2015Hilary term repeated some of the popu-lar events from MT-2014 including an-other poetry evening and Open Mic Night. Both of the events gathered a great pool of talented MCR members to share their creative works. The Burn’s night dinner was a great dis-play of celebrating tradition and talents at the same time. The Scottish national poet’s legacies were duly remembered in the College’s Dining Hall and in the Octagon.

MCR hosted an academic soiree with the College’s Principal Will Hutton where he discussed his newly published book- "How Good We Can Be - Ending the Mercenary Society and Building a Great Country”.MoreMore than 100 people attended the event in the The Martin School which was followed by a dinner in the princi-pal’s lodging.

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A group of MCR members visited the British Parliament later this term.

With daffodils starting to bloom, this term is ending with the promise of a great Trinity term- with lot more flow-ers and fragrances.

MCR Welfare Tea

MCR Burn’s Night

MCR Soiree with Will Hutton:How good we can be

MCR Open Mic Night

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WRITTEN BY:Mustak Ibn AyubPHOTOCREDIT:

Mariangela Panniello, Roberto Maffulli

TRINITY TERM - 2015Trinity is the term of gentle breez-es, parks and paths rich in flowers and fragrances, and daylight until late evening! There will be lots of outdoor events including an MCR sports day and an ample amount of punting trips along the river Isis. Isis.

But this term will mainly high-light two very important new ini-tiatives: Graduate Symposium and Graduate Initiatives Fund both will be organised under the umbrella concept of Hertford Graduate School (HGS). Lots more to be excited about- this is Hertford MCR!

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The British Museum is one of London’s top attractions. However, my friend and I had never before visited the famed museum and decided it was high time to take ad-vantage of our proximity to London and experience the museum for ourselves. We booked train tickets on Monday for a Saturday visit, which (with a rail card) came to 12.45GBP. We cycled to the station from the grad centercenter allowing plenty of time to collect our tickets from the machines and purchase coffees for the journey.

With 10 minutes to spare, we stood inside the station to keep warm, while waiting for the train. However, we no-ticed the status board read “Delayed” for our train. Being the patient people that we are, and having no strict sched-ule for the day, we sipped our coffee and kept an eye on the board, which continued to read “Delayed”. At ap-proximately 11:10AM, our train information was removed from the board. We considered that it may have been cancelled, as another London bound train was due to arrive in 20 minutes, but we were uncertain. We ap-proached the information desk, which comprised of 5 at-tendants all chatting amongst themselves behind a count-er. I interrupted their chatter and asked , “Excuse me, was the 11:01 to Paddington cancelled?”, to which they sponded, “No, that was it – it just left…” I’ll summarize what amounted to a very frustrating exchange: if ever you take the train from Oxford station, always ask the infor-mation desk whether or not your particular train is on time, because the status boards are not always accurate and cannot be trusted, especially if your train status reads “Delayed”. Thirty minutes after our intended departure time, we boarded out train to Paddington.

We arrived to the British Museum at 1PM, having taken the underground to Holborn and walked from there. We took a map from the information point in the lobby (“sug-gested” donation 1GBP) and headed into the “Enlighten-ment” room (Room 1, officially “Enlightenment: Discov-ering the world in the eighteenth century”). The room is meant to introduce the visitor to the Museum and give an idea of the collections on offer. The room was originally built to house the library of King George III, however that collection of books has since been moved to a British Li-brary building at St. Pancras. The Enlightenment room still maintains the library tradition by housing a collec-tion of books from the House of Commons throughout the room, where the King’s books were previously cased. This balance of library and museum seems in calculated synchrony with the official theme of the room, “Enlight-enment: Discovering the world in the eighteenth centu-ry”. As I roamed around the rooms, I truly felt as though I was in someone’s private library, peeking at their liter-ary interests and admiring their eclectic collection of ob-jects. Noteworthy items from this collection were brilliantly colored apothecary jars, plates, and dishes from Renaissance Italy, a wooden inner-coffin of a mummy, an impressive coin collection, shoe collection with examples from various cultures, and many scientific instruments.

Though, the room was very inviting with it’s old library vibe, I began to find the collage of artifacts a bit over stimulating. My friend and I required a bit more organiza-tion, so after about 45min, we were ready to head up the East Stairs to start exploring from the top down.

At the top floor, we started with the Sudan, Egypt, and Nubia exhibit (Room 65 in the museum map). Having seen the word Egypt, one might expect to immediately see elaborate mummy displays and hieroglyphs. Howev-er, this room is very interesting in that it reveals Nile Valley cultures you rarely hear about - The Nubians and Kush, ancient cultures of modern day Sudan. One object wewe spent some time admiring was a stela from Meroe (an-cient capital of the Kingdom of Kush) from about 24BC, which is largely indecipherable, because it is one of the few ancient languages that have yet to be understood. However, due to the images at the top of the stela, and the mention of two recognizable names within the text (the names of Amanirenas and Akinidad), one of them (Amanirenas) is thought to have been a Kush ruler during a conflict with the Romans in the year 24 AD. With only one name as their clue, scholars have hypothesized that the stela may have been made to commemorate this con-flict.

The displays in this room show how the Nile Valley cul-tures interacted with each other – be it in conflict or trade. Another interesting piece in the collection was a large plaster fragment dating from about 1400 BC, which de-picts the scene of Nubians presenting piles of gold to the Egyptian court. Gold would have been the most valuable commodity the Nubians had to offer (not too shabby!).

By: Megan Jefferies

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AN AFTERNOON AT THE BRITISH MUSEUMFEATURE:

I was amazed at the number and variety of mummy cases, outer coffins, inner coffins, and death masks on display (all dating anywhere from about 2600 BC until about 395 AD). Equally amazing was the level of intri-cate detail that went into each level of burial –layer upon layer of ornately painted coffins. Several inner coffins were gilded to appear as golden statues with black hair. OneOne case was painted, gilded in parts, and even incorpo-rated actual precious stones as jewelry over the chest and fingers. Interestingly, the museum also had several Ro-man-influenced coffins from the Roman period in Egypt, which showcase at least one way in which the Romans adopted Egyptian tradition. It was around this time that I began to complain of hunger and insisted we stop for a light lunch. We decided to explore the nearby eateries, rather than snack at the museum, which proved to be a mistake.

We walked to a nearby tea house, but as we went to open the door, a sign read “We are completely booked for the day.” Ouch. Ok. On to the next place. A lovely hotel with a fancy restaurant. Seemed a bit over our budgets, so we walked on. We found a café on Bloomsbury Way and stepped in. “Hello, do you have a food menu?”, I asked. “I’m sorry, but we’ve just stopped serving food.” Great. OnOn to the next place. A pub on Bloomsbury Way. We walk in and immediately noticed a string of packaged crisps and nuts hanging from behind the bar. That’s a bad sign… By this time, we decided we ought to forget about a light lunch and finish our tour of the museum before it closed. “Don’t worry,” said my friend, as we walked back to the museum, “I’ve got some nuts in my purse.”

We arrived back to the museum, headed back up to the top floor, and into the “Medieval Europe 1050-1500” ex-hibit (Room 40). As I discretely nibbled on a handful of nuts, we studied the first item on display, which was stun-ning. “The Royal Gold Cup” was given to Charles VI of France in 1391 by his uncle Jean Duc de Berry (John, Duke of Berry). By 1435 it was in the hands of the English royal household. During the reign of King Henry VIII, Tudor roses were added to the stem. It had various owners over the next several hundred years, but in 1883 it appeared on the Paris market! It’s been in the possession of the British Museum since 1892.

From Medieval Europe, we headed into the “Clocks and Watches” exhibit (Rooms 38 and 39). Here, I spotted two clocks that absolutely made my day. The first was a Rim-bault musical table clock dating from 1765. The clock is not only beautifully built and painted, but it has an intri-cate wood working scene with moving parts! Each figure is hammering or sawing away in the wood shop. I couldn’t believe the exquisite condition of this complex piece. On the other side of the room was quite a novel clock. It was a tall floor clock from the 17th century. It wasn’t particularly beautiful, however the Roman numer-als seemed to glow. When I read the description, I saw it was a “long case night clock” with a place to keep a burn-ing oil lamp inside, behind the clock face – what a fire hazard! One really needs to tell time at night in order to take this kind of risk.

The next room we explored was the “Money” exhibit. There were several types of currency on display, old and new, but one of the most interesting pieces was an old British penny coin minted in 1903 and stamped with the phrase, “VOTES FOR WOMEN”. Suffragettes in the UK used this tactic to circulate the message, in small change, among the population. Women in the UK re-ceived the right to vote in 1928. ceived the right to vote in 1928.

With only 45 min to spare, we made our way through the Ancient Greece and Rome rooms on the top floor (Rooms 69-73, though there are many more Ancient Greece and Rome exhibits on the ground floor). We passed items of jewelry, pottery, ritual pieces, and even some glass vessels. At first I was surprised there wasn’t more glass on display throughout the museum. I had seen a a few glass vessels in the Egypt and Sudan exhibit and a few more in the Ancient Greece and Rome rooms (at the end of the day), but I had expected more. The truth is, glass is harder to come by in the archaeological record. I remember being on a dig in the Sangro Valley of Italy in 2012 and learning that glass is a rare find, mostly due to its composition. I contacted my archaeologist friend, who specializesspecializes in Roman pottery, but has worked extensively with Roman glass as well. She attributed the rarity of glass to its fragility and patination (where glass effective-ly dissolves). This would explain why almost all the glass objects we saw at the museum was discovered in tombs, protected from these risks. Though, not every piece of glass on display was in perfect condition. One intriguing piece was a simple shard of glass that had some etching on it, which, according to the information card, was a curse from one man to another, over a legal dispute that had been unresolved! Someone decided to take it to the Gods (I wonder how it all turned out…). The most beau-tiful and impressive glass object I saw was a large clear blue cylindrical box (complete with lid!) from about 50 AD described as being found somewhere near Rome. Ad-ditionally, the information card said it contains ashes inside and was likely used as a cremation urn at some point. If only the person who put the ashes inside realized what an appropriate metaphor this would one day be for the fragility and rarity of life itself (…probably not).

As the gallery assistant started shouting for everyone to leave (at 5:30PM, sharp) we made a decision to have dinner near Covent Garden, which was a 10 minute walk away. I quickly made a table reservation at a French restaurant on my phone and we were all set before we even made it down the stairs. In a flash, our visit to the British Museum was over and we were out the door. Next timetime (and there will certainly be a next time) I plan to arrive earlier and bring more nuts.

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AN AFTERNOON AT THE BRITISH MUSEUM

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SOLIVAGANTSSTATIONERY

ENTERPRISE:

Solivagants Stationery, which is still in its initial stages, basi-cally began several years ago when my brother, who is par-ticularly excellent at puns, started leaving little notes for a lady he was, shall we say, wooing. Because I've always been more artistically-driven and doodling in notebooks since before I can remember, he asked me to draw some accompa-nying pictures for his puns. We started to share ideas more and more, and as I became comfortable in my aesthetic ap-proach to our little cartoonish cards, I began making cards for other occasions. Suddenly, I had a stacks upon stacks of hand-drawn cards and (surprisingly, to me) several handfuls of people asking me where they could purchase them and suggesting I put them online. So, I'm in the process of doing just that at www.solivagants.com, which involves a lot of teaching myself Adobe Illustrator through tedious Youtube tutorials, trying to determine the difference between seem-ingly identical paper types, and converting between not only centimeters and inches but also color modes, pixels counts, and standard paper sizes when, in reality, I really should be working on papers and, you know, probably that degree thing I came here for.

CAITLIN COOK

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You can find Caitlin’s work over at

www.solivagants.com my personal favourite is the squid! [Ed.]

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WHY MORE WOMEN SHOULD ROW

“HERTFORD’S WOMEN ARE OFF TO A FLYING START THIS ACADEMIC YEAR - HAVING ALREADY BEEN CROWNED CHAM-PIONS OF THE ISIS AFTER WINNING AUTUMN FOURS EARLIER THIS TERM, WE HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR THE FUTURE.”Next year is looking to be even more exciting for women’s rowing, as HCBC Women get set to make an even bigger splash. For the first time in the 185-year history of The Boat Race, on 11 April the women’s race will be held concurrently with the ‘traditional’ men’s race on the Championship Course. This historic move has been a long time in the making. Given the chance and encouragement, we begin to see how successful, howhow engaging and how rewarding women’s sport can be – most recently, for example, in the successful coverage of women’s football.

As we celebrate 40 years of co-education at Hertford we are re-minded of just some of the great things Hertford women have gone on to do in only four short decades; we already have our fair share of great sportswomen in our hall of fame - the portrait of world champion rower Steph Cullen hangs impressively in our display in Hall. And there is more than just a token sem-blance of equality - women really are doing better than ever before, not least in terms of higher education, where females outnumber male students. Yet the equality we achieve in educa-tion seems not to translate into the jobs market; women in

boardrooms, in directorships and in representative politics remain a rarity rather than commonplace. Of a total of 170 higher education vice-chancellors, only 35 are women - a statis-tic echoed in the number of female JCR and MCR presidents across the Oxford colleges. Why does the gender gap still exist and how can rowing narrow the gap?

To succeed in rowing you have to push yourself, to take the risk, to be willing to give all. When the cannon goes, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve sat in a boat and perfected your stroke, how many practice sessions you have never missed. On race day, all that counts is how you make the boat move; how fast you can whip the blade through the water, how long you can hold your hand to the flame. Rowing encourages in young womenwomen something absent from other parts of our lives, a com-petitiveness rich in the messages we send to young men but lacking in our words of advice to women. Before discovering rowing at Hertford I had never been asked to give everything I had; so long as you turned up, worked hard and were a reliable team player that was enough. But not in rowing - to really make a boat move it takes more.

Although women are often inherently team players - rowing has the potential to open up a whole new category of female experi-ence and a new female role model, one whose ambition and drive is not politely hidden behind a mask or painted-on face. When Hertford’s women are out on the Isis, I see a bedrock of women driven to success in a way so often frowned on in real life. On the water you can’t be passive, or tentative. Ambition is overt; determination and fervour are keovert; determination and fervour are key.

Encouraging that prerequisite of grit and determination that it takes to row across the board in young women is part of the

HOLLY REDFORD-JONES, WOMEN’S CAPTAIN FOR HERTFORD COLLEGE BOAT CLUB, WRITES ABOUT THE RECENT SUCCESS OF HERTFORD’S FEMALE ROWERS, AND WHY MORE WOMEN SHOULD GET INVOLVED IN ROWING.

EMPOWERMENT:

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WHY MORE WOMEN SHOULD ROW

HOLLYREDFORDJONES

action we must take to address the gender imbalance in the workplace. Women need to be pushing themselves forward: many women rowers are technically expert, just as in the wider world, but when push comes to shove, the crew that pushes themselves to the edge, sets their ambi-tions high and their inhibitions low will emerge victorious, whether or not they are the most technical, diligent or otherwise hard working.

We could do worse than encourage more young women, the directors, vice chancellors and entrepreneurs of the future, to row. It is with that same grit and drive that I hope we will all encourage and support HCBC’s women through to a successful 2015.

CREATIVE CORNER:

“SHOES”depending on which side of her i was onshe smelled like either chicken soup or ciga-rettes;so when we first met, i was relieved not to be tryingfor something on a thursday night.

but you know how these things go.we got drunk and swung aroundtil the room revolved, and everythingwas purple, like wine-stained teeth,and at that point shewas pressing her hips against mineand we were finding each other and we were finding each other mouth-ways.

later that night--it might have beenfriday--i felt the knuckles of her backwhile she puked all over my shoes.she took a bus alone to somewhere--i forget where exactly--and in the morning i had my cerealand in the morning i had my cerealwith water instead of with milk.

a week from then i called her up andsoon after that she took a bus back to mebecause those shoes were getting old anyway.she's here now, and i am too, i think.By : Joseph D'AmoreBy : Joseph D'Amore

“BRIDGE”JOE D’AMORE

As the sun starts to set birds come back all at once

As the cloud turns orangehundreds of birdsform an endless flow

They all come back to one treeThey all come back to one treefrom deep inside the skyas if there were a promise

There, they close their wingsand let the darkness of night pass together, in harmony

As if it had to be that single treeit had to be that single treeand not anywhere else

Everything will rest its wings as it is meant to beand there will be peace

Then, even a cold night will be the time of trustbeing so certain of it the birds fly and cry high into the skythe birds fly and cry high into the sky

When our wings are lit in orangelike the sunset we saw on the bridge

I think of the treeyet to be seen somewhere in this vast landBy : Naoko HosokawaBy : Naoko Hosokawa

By: Naoko Hosokawa

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By Joseph D'Amore

POETRYNOTE:“BODILY LOVE”

If you knewHow my ribcage is filled with breathless-ness from desires of seeing youHow my gut is appetite-less from the feel-ings of missing youHow my heart is beat-less from the ache of not getting you besideAnd how my head is befuddled as it is thinking of you all the time.

If you knewI start my days thinking of youEveryday.My days end thinking of youMy days end thinking of youEveryday.

If you understoodI cannot walk without imagining you beside meI cannot talk without hearing your voice in my earsAnd when I open my eyes it is you who And when I open my eyes it is you who appear into the cloudsAnd when an unknown flower tickles my nostrils I smell you.

This is how bodily love my love is for you! If you knew

By : Mustak Ibn Ayub

By: Mustak Ibn Ayub

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I have undertaken a proj-ect of writing 50 poems that will describe the jour-ney of love: from its in-ception to the resolution. A compilation of those poems will be published as an anthology under the title of “50 Shades of Love”. The purpose of the project is to show the dif-ference between ‘Love’ and ‘Lust’ and to protest against the ongoing trend of selling ‘Lust’ in the name of ‘Love”. The 9th shade is ‘Corporal Spiri-tuality’ and the poem is called ‘Bodily love’.

MUSTAK IBN AYUB

AN ONGOINGDISCOURSE

“THE STAGIFESTO”

A QUERY WAS SENT...

EMAIL SUBJECT: Deer for Hertford CollegeMESSAGE:

Dear Sir/Madam,

As you may be aware, our College has a long standing tradition of a a crest and name being in close relation to As you may be aware, our College has a long standing tradition of a a crest and name being in close relation to deer. As such we are considering purchasing deer to range on our extensive quad. May I enquire about any price quotes for a single or a small herd of your finest deer.Any information would be gratefully received,

Regards,

Georgia HoleMiddle Common RoomHertford CollegeHertford CollegeOxford

...AND THERE CAME A REPLY FROM WOBURN DEER DEPARTMENT...

Hello Georgia,Thank you for your enquiry,We do sell red deer from here at Woburn.We sell hinds at £1000 each and stags start at £1800 each. If you are interested in purchasing deer from us I would though like to know a little more about your extensive quad as to size and suitability for deer. Look forward to hearing from you,Kind regardsXXXXXXXX

...TO BE CONTINUED, FTD (FEAR THE DEER)

22

FROM THEPORTER’S LODGE

A LETTER TO THE HARTDAVID HAXELL

Editorial Notes: Every now and then we receive emails from our porters on variety of topics. Here is one for the HART from David Haxell, the Head porter of Hertford College.

WWell you can imagine my surprise when I was approached by Mustak (who?? I hear you say- el presi-dente) to request a small missive to celebrate the MCR termly magazine. “it need’nt be anything too long” he said, Just as well I thought as my literary prowess is somewhat limited to begging letters to the taxman and “don’t forget to register your bike” although it is true to say I once had a letter published in the Daily Mail ( Yes I know and I’m ashamed to admit it) many years ago on the subject of dogs fouling the footpaths, needless to say it was extremely well received and was directly responsible for the depor-tation of several species of hound hereto unknown in the country (possible overreaction by the Daily Facist ) and made me think that certain members of the current British political gang of thieves should foul the footpath (and not just foul on us) and maybe we could all move on. Talking of moving on(di-gression being the better part of meanderings) I feel I should now get to the point of this literal walk-about. I have thought long hard about what I should write here in which to further greater understanding between the Lodge and the MCR and have decided that I will be brief, loosely base all items on truth and be ambiguous as possible whilst never allowing any facts to cloud either the content or judgement or indeed common sense, in fact just like any Oxford lecture you may have attended or maybe even given in the past. But then I decided who really wants to know about the Lodge and what we do here. The Lodge has often been described” as a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma” but there again perhaps I’ve got that wrong. Contrary to popular belief we are not a bunch of subversive ‘neer do wells’ who laugh at the misfortune of others or plan the downfall of the University and society as a whole. (well(well not this term anyway!!!) or indeed deliberately obstruct the progress of your long and tortuous journey through the unchartered and murky waters of academia, no folks we are in fact a caring group of gentlemen and sometimes a lady who only wish for your stay within the College to be as pleasant and as trouble free as possible allowing you therefore to concentrate on the most important parts of life within Oxford, such wine tasting (cheers Rory), College Bops and top table. The Lodge can be seen as being pedantic, archaic and sometimes obstructive whilst you pursue the Hedonistic pleasure of Catte St,St, but of course nothing could be further from the truth and I am sure you will agree that if your bike is not registered then you can kiss your Dphil goodbye as it just aint’ going to happen. And if you don’t collect your parcel on time it indicates to us all here a total lack of planning and fore thought which obvi-ously was not apparent when you ordered the item late at night with the last dregs of the bottle receding down your oesophagus. Actually as an aside I totally advocate surfing Ebay late at night when the grape has well and truly had that somnambulistic & euphoric (is that possible?) effect and indeed some of my most inspired and creative purchases have been made late at night. A concrete bird bath, a Pirates uni-form (I kid you not) and a book which I bought totally on the strength of the title “Darlings I’ve had a ball” which I have never read but is now propping up that chest of drawers with the dodgy leg which was also a late night purchase. I must admit Postal Russian roulette most exhilarating with that element of surprise and what the hell did I order that for!!!! ever hanging in the air. Ok enough is enough and I expect you all have more important things to do but I feel I must congratulate you on getting this far. I would like to finish with a couple of life quotes that will if remembered hold you in good store whilst struggling with your studies. “Avoid disappointment - aim low”“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”“ A well written thesis will protect you from the vagrancies of life and makes an excellent umbrella” Pekny den

DAVE23

ONLINE MARKETING TO INVESTORS:HOW TO DEVELOP EFFECTIVE INVESTORS RELATIONS

BOOK CORNER:

This book introduces the marketing and disclosure techniques which enable listed corporations to engage effectively with financial markets. It ex-plains online and offline methods of marketing to attract, engage and retain investors.Investor Relations (IR) is the corporate function responsible for advising the senior officers of a listed company on the relationship between the company and the market for corporate stock. Al-though a young discipline, IR is now an essential body of knowledge for aspiring FDs, CEOS and Directors of Communications and this book pro-vides an expert introduction to the key issues and skills.

Since the 1980s IR has rapidly penetrated the highest levels of corporate man-agement as the importance of good relationships with investors and financial in-termediaries has become clear. The marketing of corporate stock is a key part of the value of effective IR, although the highly regulated nature of the world's leading stock markets means that a very specialized form of marketing is re-quired. Digital channels present great but under-utilized potential to contribute to ever more effective investor relations. Online platforms offer fast, comprehensive, economical, flexible and regulation-compliant methods of disclosing corporate information to investors, analysts and other relevant parties in the in-vestment evaluation and decision making process. The book examines both the reasons for the very limited use of online technologies in corporate communica-tions with investors as well as the very sparse academic literature relating to online investor relations. It then describes ways in which digital mechanisms can facilitate publicly listed organizations by building transparent, mutually-beneficial and lasting relationships with investors and financial analysts ('the City') using both established and emerging online platforms and tools.The book concludes by summarizing four key challenges facing online IR in the next decade.For more information, "like" the book page on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/onlinemarketingtoinvestors24

BY DANIEL R. VALENTINEDanielDaniel Valentine was, for many years, a senior Investor Relations Officer. He has degrees from Oxford University, St.Andrews University and King’s College London, and is a recognized expert in investor and corporate marketing. He has spoken at conferences in Europe, the Middle East, Africa and Asia. In addition to conference and consultancy work, Daniel lectures at Regents University London and is a visiting professor of strategic management at Grenoble Ecole de Manage-ment. He can be contacted at daniel@daniel-valentine.com

MAGICAL GASTRONOMY AT HERTFORD COLLEGE HALL

25

YEAR AFTER YEAR AT MCR STAIRCASE

26

The Hart Hall of fame

Editor: Rachel Sprately Magazine concept: Mustak Ibn AyubMagazine name: Goergia Melodie HoleLogo design: Erica LombardIllustIllustration: Guru Graphics Limited