Helpful Tips to Analytical Writing(and Mrs. Dunkle’s expectations)

It’s not personalNever interpret my critique as a personal attack. It isn’t one – it is an effort to teach you how to improve your writing.

If you take it personally you will not improve.

Be Pliable (flexible) English teachers are all different, and

some of you are still warming up to this year’s raised expectations.

This is a lot like building a house. I am going to give you tools to make the kind I think will best suit your needs.

If someone else gave or gives you different tools to build different looking rooms, that’s their right. They’re not wrong. But in here, you will have to build mine.

Keystone RubricMost of your writing will be graded

using the Keystone rubricFocus, Content, Conventions,

Organization, and StyleWill appear on your paper as a F,

C, M, O, S. Some with a + and some with a -.

Other commentsYou will at times see other

comments in your margins. I will try to make them as clear as possible.

If the whole class has read it – I have too

This is not a book report. I already read the story. Refer to its facts as if they are obvious, which is to say gloss over them and hurry to the quote and your analysis.

Do Not Summarize!

I Do Not Need A Summary

Stay in the present tense! When discussing literature, all verbs

should be there.

*this is not the case with other kinds of writing, like with history papers or research papers. The passive voice should be removed by

you. (haha)

Tense Tips Passive construction takes the subject and/or a

modifier and swaps them around, adding extra words (usually “of” or “by”) that clutter up the most direct path to communicating your idea.

In your papers, this manifests itself with sentences like:

As said by Hawthorne, Pearl, the daughter of Hester, freaks out.

Once fixed, it would become:

Hawthorne says that Hester’s daughter, Pearl, freaks out.

*note: I could’ve deleted “Hester’s daughter,” right? After all, isn’t that unnecessary plot

summary?

Remove “I think / I

believe / I feel / I learned”

“I will be showing”

“From this paper, I hope you”

“I am attacking”

I will talk about”

“I have just explained”

“I am defending”

“The point of my paper is”

“In my opinion”

“I think / I believe / I feel / I learned”

“I will be showing”

“From this paper, I hope you”

“I am attacking” I will talk about”

“I have just explained”

“I am defending”

“The point of my paper is”

“In my opinion”

Once you remove these, your writing will go from this: “I think the scarlet letter transformed Hester.”

To this: “The scarlet letter transformed Hester.” The difference is confidence and directness

Eliminate“The next example”

“An example is that”

“A quote from the book is”

“It was stated in the book that”

I know it’s the next example. Don’t tell me what is about to be obvious.

Good Substitutes In the next example, Hawthorne describes Hester as ”

Hawthorne describes Hester as “_____”

“An example is that Hester sees Pearl and says, ”

Hester then says to Pearl, “_____”

“A quote from the book is” or“It was stated in the book that”

But the reader ultimately discovers

BE Careful with transitions

Do not use cutsy transitions like: “well”, “as you can see”, “It’s clear to see that”, “Now”, “So”,

Do not use cliches like: Nowadays, These days, In conclusion, To sum up.

Never talk directly to your audience A clue that you’re doing it include

asking the reader questions, and narrating your paper with personal pronouns: I, you, your, our, we, us, etc.

SUBSITUTIONS: “one” or “the reader”

Never ask direct questions either , especially yes or no ones.

StyleIt’s your thing, but still needs to follow some rules.

Spare me the kiss-up flattery to the book.

I didn’t write it, so I won’t take offense if you hate it, and you don’t

get extra points for liking it (or pretending to). And the author will never read your essay, so save it.

New ¶s = New ideas

Full ¶s = a minimum of 5 rich, full, complex, compound sentences

(although advanced writers can sometimes get away with only 4)

Sentence variety Limit short sentences with commas and

semicolons to make them complex.

THE EFFECT: Then, on occasion, a short, punchy sentence will feel just like that – a quick punch.

The Semi colon

; A complete sentence needs to be on

each side. Use it to join 2 short, choppy, related

sentences that you would have trouble joining with a comma and an “and”.

No contractions.You can’t cannot use them because you

shouldn’t should not use them, so don’t

do not use them or I won’t will not be

happy.For reals— it’s it is not

cool.

Redundancy: Watch out!

You cannot use them because you should not use them, so

do not use them please refrain, or I will not be happy be dissatisfied.

For reals—it is not cool bad form.

Grammatical Tips No one gets an exclamation point unless

they’re yelling. And no one ever gets more than one.

Spell out symbols like @, #, &, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc.

Type out numbers when they are spelled with two words or less, like seven, thirty-seven, five hundred, four thousand, ten trillion, etc.

Possession: S’s vs. s’ If it’s a singular noun ending in “s,” it

gets an ’s on the end. Only plural nouns get an ’ tagged on the end. In John Knowles’s A Separate Peace,

Finny was totally wicked cool. Only a few of the sophomores’

opinions of A Separate Peace were that it was totally wicked cool.

A Note about TitlesBooks and movies get an underline or italics.The Scarlet Letter written like this is

correct.Iron Man 3 written like this is, too.

***Easy way to remember the rest: if it takes you a lonnnnnng time to read it, it gets a lonnnnnng line. If it’s a quick read, it gets “quotes” instead.

MLA Format TipsGood reminders and some other stuff

There should not be any “dead lines” anywhere in the paper: not before or after the title, not before or after paragraphs, and not even after the paper is completed.

In order to fix the “extra space” between paragraphs (and each line in your heading), highlight your whole document, go to the “paragraph” setting, and then set the “after” box to “0”

When formatted correctly, you should have 23 lines of text per page. If you ever have 22, be sure to write at least one more line on the next page to hit the minimum page requirement.

BeforeAfter

The Question of Length When your assignment is to type a

paper between 2 and 3 pages, you know what to do.

if you hand in a paper that is even 1 line short, I will hand it right back to you to complete for late credit.

Quotes Parenthetical Studied text or

research

“In that case, the punctuation goes after the parenthesis” (Eallonardo 56).

author no comma page

Outside the text Introductions or

conclusions Mr. E says, “Start

a non-text quote with a capital letter and put the punctuation at the end inside the quotes.”

Quotes continued: Never alter a

quote even if it seems to break one of the rules.

Quotation marks Make sure that you do not leave an

extra space between the beginning of your quote and your quotation mark (or at the end).

Spaces after periods You can either use 1 space or 2 but you

can not mix; you must be consistent.

Don’t be vague I always ask, “Could this student have written

this paper by reading Sparknotes or watching the movie alone?”

If the answer is “yes,” then you haven’t been specific enough with your descriptive examples from the story.

For example, Saying “Hester helped townspeople and they changed their mind about her” is vague and not very helpful.

Saying “In chapter XIII, Hawthorne describes Hester as sympathizing with the poor people of Boston, and that they grow to look upon her letter as having strong, almost magical power” — that is specific… and I didn’t even directly quote!

Thesis Make sure your evidence supports your

thesis. Ask yourself the following questions:

How does my evidence support my thesis’ How does it prove my point? Does it explain why my opinion is correct

and/or why I took my stance on the topic?

IF IT DOESN’T, IT MUST GO.

Your thesis will be verbatim from the assignment and you will not write about

anything else.

For example, if the prompt says you have to prove that Hester used her punishment to improve herself, each body ¶ should have language in the analysis that describes how she was better off for having had the opportunity to be marked with the letter.

This means that, after a quote (or specific text reference), I should see language to the effect of: “The reader knows that this is a direct result of Hester’s punishment because ___________________” …followed soon by “This improves Hester by _________________.”

EVERY SINGLE BODY PARAGRAPH WOULD NEED THIS.

Directions and prompts If the prompt says, “Show how Hester used her

punishment to improve herself,” don’t tell me about the symbolism of the rose outside the jail, Dimmesdale’s descent into madness, or anything that makes Hester seem to have gotten worse rather than better.

Also, leave Pearl out of this. Pearl was born before the punishment, and Hester’s care for her as a mom would be the same whether she had a scarlet letter on her or not.

Just because she had the letter on her at the time something happened in the book doesn’t mean she used the letter to make it happen. Stick to what you can prove, and do that in every body paragraph.

Once you reach the conclusion, the game is over; don’t try to keep arguing your case with more text quotes.

The Danger of Faulty Logic Which of these is GOOD, and which two are

POOR citations showing Hester used her punishment to make herself a better person? She raises Pearl properly, defending her

rights as a mother against Gov. Bellingham. The shame, sadness, and loneliness she

endures makes her realize that she is strong. She is good at sewing, and she does it with

flare and style.

She raises Pearl properly, defending her rights as a mother against Gov. Bellingham. Are you saying that without the letter,

she was a lousy mom? Wouldn’t all moms fight for their kids, letter or no?

The shame, sadness, and loneliness she endures makes her realize that she is strong. She only felt those things because she was

banished and ostracized. Plus a “realization” by definition is something new that happens.

She is good at sewing, and she does it with flare and style. Right, and Hawthorne establishes in

chapters 2 and 5 that she already was a talented seamstress