Hello and welcome to Gill Library...Title Hello and welcome to Gill Library Author Lisa Mecca User...

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A [Descriptive

Writing Unit] Lisa Mecca

Writing

Grade One

Family Life Academy Charter School

Bronx, NY

Abstract: The objective of this unit is to define writing to describe people. Students learn how adjectives can enrich a writing piece by

making the material more vivid and interesting. In addition, this unit

teaches students that writing serves as a tool to communicate ideas and

share information.

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Table of Contents Table of Contents .......................................................................................................................... 2

Purpose ............................................................................................................................................. 3

Goals and Objectives .................................................................................................................... 4

Modifications/Differentiation ................................................................................................. 6

Learning Standards ...................................................................................................................... 8

Assessment ...................................................................................................................................... 9

Timeline ......................................................................................................................................... 10

Lessons ........................................................................................................................................... 16

Data .................................................................................................................................................. 40

Reflection....................................................................................................................................... 42

Blank Materials ........................................................................................................................... 44

Instructional Resources .......................................................................................................... 47

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Purpose The objective of this unit was to define writing to describe people.

Students learned how adjectives can enrich a writing piece by making

the material more vivid and interesting. Significant details can help

readers paint a picture in their minds of the people or characters they

are reading about. Describing words may tell about the way a person

behaves as well as tell about color, shape, number, size, feeling, smell,

sound, and so forth. In addition, this unit teaches students that writing

serves as a tool to communicate ideas and share information. This unit is

designed for first grade students in a general classroom with a range of

strengths and abilities. The lessons, activities, and resources can be

modified to suit the needs of kindergarten to the upper grades.

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Goals and Objectives The ‘Description of Two People’ project is a unit of study presented

in the Strategies for Writers textbook, which is the writing curriculum

used by the Family Life Academy Charter School. This textbook teaches

students to write using the writing process: Pre-writing, Drafting,

Revising, Editing, and Publishing. I supplemented the lessons in the

textbooks with writing activities, lessons, games, electronic resources,

discussions, read-alouds, and an extension project to strengthen the

students’ ability to develop their descriptive vocabulary.

Preparation Having a concrete understanding of what my students needed to

learn, and what I wanted them to know after the completion of the unit,

helped me develop this unit. When approaching this unit, it was

imperative that I understood which concepts I needed to teach. To

proceed with this task, I needed to ask myself the following questions:

What concepts and skills do I need to teach the students in the

class?

What skills or concepts are necessary in order for students to

write descriptively?

What skills can I build upon?

How do I want to teach descriptive writing skills?

What lessons do I need to teach?

What activities, modifications, and lessons will I need to

incorporate into the unit in order to serve the various needs and

skill sets in the classroom?

What assessments am I going to use?

Will the assessments be differentiated?

What resources can I use to make lessons meaningful?

What do I want to see my students doing after I teach this unit?

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What learning standards do I need to meet?

Essential Questions What is a descriptive paper?

How can you describe a person?

How can you write a descriptive paper that is interesting to a

reader?

What are describing words?

What can you tell about how a person looks?

What can you tell about how a person behaves?

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Modifications/

Differentiation Modifications – How to Describe People The unit in the textbook called for students to use details to convey

how something looks, feels, sounds, tastes, smells, etc. For the purpose of

this unit, lessons were modified to allow students to focus on appearance

and personality rather than describing taste or smell. The teacher

wanted to expose students to a more enriched vocabulary to help

describe people. This modification allowed students to tap into prior

knowledge of character traits when considering the description of real-

life people they know.

Furthermore, students were able to execute writing assignments

using the five senses (smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch) in other

writing lessons prior to this unit. In October of 2010, students wrote a

five senses poem about the season of fall. In December 2010, students

used their senses to describe an item that they wanted in the Friendly

Letter Unit.

Differentiation Class 121 has nine ELL students and a couple of students who

struggle with the writing process. At times, it was necessary to

differentiate the writing assignments to meet their needs.

Students were encouraged to use inventive spelling and apply

their understanding of letter sound combinations when writing.

In some cases, students needed to work with one of the teachers.

Some students were able to articulate their thoughts, but were

unsuccessful recording it. Assignments were differentiated to

meet their needs and, in some cases, it was scaled down.

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Struggling students were able to focus solely on the physical

appearance of the two people instead of both appearance and

personality.

High-achieving students were expected to provide more detail

and adjectives when proceeding with the writing process.

“Pupa” In the Descriptive Writing Unit, the textbook used a character

named Rick. Prior attempts of teaching writing units with the

characters presented in the textbook were unsuccessful as the characters

neglected to resonate with my class. For this unit, I decided to change the

process by incorporating a fictitious character developed by the class

and this character would be executing the same project. I also

discovered, through various teaching methods used this year, that my

class needed something tangible that would be present in the classroom.

The class created a character and named it Pupa. A cutout of the

character was made along with steps detailing the writing process for

the descriptive unit. The cutout climbs the steps as students in the class

mastered the various steps involved in producing a good descriptive

paper. Pupa is used during the length of the writing unit. Writing

problems observed in the class are then presented as Pupa’s challenges.

Examples include the excessive use of the word “and” and beginning

sentences with the word “because.” As students provide advice on how

to help Pupa, they are in turn helping themselves. This modification

made teaching this unit more manageable and meaningful.

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Learning Standards

ELA Standards

2.W.1.0 – Students will read, write, listen, and speak for information and understanding (all lessons)

2.W.1.2 – Identify essential details, with assistance (introductory lessons, and pre-writing lessons)

2.W.1.7 – Produce clear, well-organized, short reports to demonstrate the understanding of a topic (drafting and revising lessons)

2.W. 3.1 – Use prewriting tools, such as semantic webs and concept maps, to organize ideas and information (pre-writing lessons)

2.W. 3.6 – Use effective vocabulary in expository writing, with assistance (pre-writing, drafting, and revising lessons)

2.W. 4.1 - Share the process of writing with peers and adults; for example, write with a partner (editing and publishing lessons)

2.L.2.1 – Identify elements of character, plot, and setting to understand the author’s message, with assistance (read alouds and modeling lessons)

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Assessment Students were assessed informally throughout the unit by using

observations and anecdotal records. Formative assessment

criteria are provided in some of the lessons.

Student-teacher conferences were held at least once during the

unit to ensure students’ understanding of the task and mastery

of the content and objectives. Teacher comments were recorded

on all student drafts.

Checklists were used to make sure that students included all

necessary components during some lessons.

A Descriptive Writing Checklist was used to make the final

assessment of the individual student work.

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Timeline This unit for teaching descriptive writing is structured around 21

days of lesson plans, activities, read alouds, and discussions. Students

will be engaged in a series of activities in an effort to assist their

understanding of how descriptive writing can help the reader see, hear,

smell, feel, and/or taste the things that are being described.

Days 1 – 3: Pre-writing (Why is it important? stage): What is

descriptive writing? How can you describe people? How can we

use describing words to make our paper more interesting?

Students are introduced to the Unit of Descriptive Writing and

learn how to enrich their writing by incorporating descriptive

vocabulary.

The students will compare two stories to assess how describing

words can make a story more interesting.

The teacher will conduct a review of character traits (Franklin

read aloud).

The teacher will conduct a mini review of the five senses.

There will be a class reading, distribution, and a discussion of

the “Descriptive Writing Checklist” found on page 97 of the

student textbook. The teacher will address each element of the

checklist with the class to ensure that they understand the

expectations for good descriptive writing.

Show a sample paper to the class.

Story Comparison Lesson

The purpose of this activity is to show students that details can

make the difference between a great paper and a boring paper. The

students will listen to two different passages. Each passage will include

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two characters, however, one passage will describe the characters to a

greater extend. First, read the passage that does not have sufficient

describing words. Ask the class if they can picture the characters in their

heads; then read the passage with more describing words. Ask the class

if they have a better sense of the characters. Finally, ask students to

identify the adjectives used to describe the characters in the second

passage. (Lesson included in packet)

Days 4 – 7: Pre-writing – Gather ideas (How can we do this?

stage): How can you think of people you wish to describe? In

what ways can you describe people? What are some words we

can use to describe people we know?

This period of the unit will provide the students with activities and

lessons that will help the students identify descriptive writing terms. It

will also serve as a forum to introduce students on ways to use

descriptive language as well as to build on the students’ descriptive

vocabulary.

The teacher will play vocabulary segments from

[Sesamestreet.com] to teach students descriptive words such as

exquisite.

The teacher will have the students act out facial expressions to

show different emotions such as disgruntled and disarming.

The teacher will start each lesson with a read aloud using

different characters such as Franklin, Arthur, and Little Critter.

Ask the students to brainstorm words to describe each

character.

The students will brainstorm different ways they can describe

how someone looks and the way someone behaves.

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The students will brainstorm a list of people that they can

describe for this project.

The class will brainstorm a list of questions that can help them

focus on gathering descriptive terms that tell about people.

Characteristics of a Person Lesson

Students will list and illustrate details to tell how someone looks

and behaves. This activity will allow students to practice telling about

physical descriptions of people they know as well as listing character

traits of people. For example, the physical descriptions may include hair,

eye and skin color as well as height and build of a person. Character

traits may include describing words that speak of someone’s personality,

such as disgruntled, energetic, smart, disarming, etc. Students should use

words that tell about a person and refrain from using words that

describe specific clothing items (lesson included in packet).

Days 8 – 13: Pre-writing (How can we organize this? stage):

How can you draw two people you know? What descriptive

words can you use to describe two people? How can you plan

your writing piece? How can you use your pictures and word

list to make a Venn diagram?

The teacher will show the class how to gather ideas regarding

whom students can describe. Each part of the process will be modeled to

the students. The students will be introduced to the steps leading to a

great descriptive writing paper.

Students will learn from Pupa’s writing experience.

Students will be introduced to the steps leading to a great

descriptive writing paper.

Students will identify two people to describe.

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Students will draw pictures of the two people to help them

gather details about the individuals.

Students will list words to describe those two individuals.

Students will compare words to see what the two individuals

have in common and what is different.

Student will learn how to record data on a Venn diagram.

Pupa’s Experience with the Writing Process Lesson

The teacher will draw the story of Pupa on the board. Pupa is a

first-grade student who had to complete a writing assignment in which

he had to describe two people. His first attempt was unsuccessful,

leaving him feeling sad. He turns to a teacher for help and that teacher

explains that there are steps that good writers follow in order to write a

great paper. Pupa follows those steps and he is then successful. The steps

are placed on chart paper (lesson included in packet).

Days 14 – 16: Drafting (How can we draft our writing piece?

stage): How can you use your Venn diagram to write sentences

telling how the two people are the same? How can you use your

Venn diagram to write sentences to tell how the two people are

different?

Through guided support and modeling, students will form

sentences using the words listed in their Venn diagrams. This stage will

help students organize the information in a neat and organized fashion.

Students will learn to use the words listed on a Venn diagram to

write sentences about what the two people have in common.

Students will write sentences telling what is different about the

first person.

Students will write sentences telling what is different about the

second person.

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The teacher will model each step of this stage by using two

students in the class as the subjects in the paper.

Days 17-18: Revising (How can we make our first draft better?

stage): How can you change or add words to make your paper

better?

Students will work cooperatively to review each others’ work using

the Descriptive Writing Checklist. The teachers will meet with the

students to review their work and provide assistance regarding

individual problem areas.

The students will engage in revising activities.

The teacher will model how to revise a first draft.

Common grammatical problems in the class will be presented as

Pupa’s problems and the class will provide advice on how to

help Pupa.

Days 19 – 21: Editing and rewriting (How can we check our

work? stage): How can you check to see if you have complete

sentences?

The students will engage in the final draft of their projects using

a specific template.

The students will draw their final pictures of the two individuals

they described.

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Days 22: Publishing (How can we share our project? stage):

How can you share your writing with the class?

The students will share their projects with the class.

The students will read their descriptive papers aloud to the class

during a publishing party.

Extension Activity (How can we apply what we learned? stage)

This unit coincided with the birthday celebration of Dr. Seuss. Dr.

Seuss was able to captivate his readers by introducing them to various

characters replete with vivid and distinctive personalities. In this

activity, students were able to mirror Dr. Suess’ effort of developing

characters. Students were then asked to choose one character trait or

adjective that they learned about in the Descriptive Writing Unit and

create their very own character just as Dr. Seuss did with the “Cat in the

Hat.” Their character was to convey the meaning of the character trait or

adjective that they chose. This extension activity allowed students to

apply their knowledge of character traits and descriptive language in a

creative and artistic fashion (see Instructional Highlights for lesson).

Tip

The teacher may want to browse vocabulary books designed for

students in the upper grades for words to use during this activity. Also,

some of the words used above were located in SAT guides.

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Lessons HHooww ccaann yyoouu ddeessccrriibbee ppeeooppllee??

Pre-Writing Stage

Lesson: What are some ways we can describe a person?

Time: 45minutes

Title of Unit: Descriptive Writing: Description of Two People

Activity: Characteristics of a person

Specific Learning Outcome

Students will list and illustrate details to tell how someone looks

and behaves. This activity will allow students to practice telling about

physical descriptions of people they know as well as listing character

traits of people. For example, the physical descriptions may include hair,

eye and skin color as well as height and build of a person. Character

traits may include describing words that speak of someone’s personality,

such as disgruntled, energetic, smart, disarming, etc. Students should use

words that tell about a person and refrain from using words that

describe specific clothing items.

Introduction

Ask the students to describe the teachers in the class. Emphasize

words that tell about appearance and personality.

Procedure

The teacher will conduct a brainstorming session and ask students

to provide words that describe people. Such details include brown eyes,

black hair, tall, smart, nice, etc. The teacher will list the words on chart

paper, one term in one of eight sections of the chart paper. The teacher

will ask the students how one would illustrate such terms. Based on class

discussion, the teacher will then proceed to illustrate the terms.

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Activity

Students will fold a piece of 8½ x 11 white writing paper into eight

sections. In each section, students will list details of a person and then

illustrate those details. Students may list eight terms on one side of the

paper to as many as 16, the total of both sides.

Debriefing

The teacher should start the debriefing section by posing questions

such as: How many ways can you describe a person? What are some

descriptions that you illustrated?

Resources

Chart paper, markers, one sheet of white 8 ½ x 11 paper for each

child in the class, pencils, crayons or colored pencils.

Assessment

Teacher Observation: The teacher should check to see that students

are identifying describing words that tell how people look and behave.

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WWhhaatt ddooeess aa ggrreeaatt ddeessccrriippttiivvee ppaappeerr ssoouunndd lliikkee??

Pre-Writing Stage

Lesson: How can words that describe people make a story

better?

Time: 45 Minutes


Activity: Story comparison


The purpose of this activity is to show students that details can

make the difference between a great paper and a boring paper.

The students will be able to determine which paper tells more

about a person.

Pre-activity

The teacher will write two different passages describing two

characters and record them on chart paper. One passage should include

vague details about the characters and the other passage should include

more specific details about the same characters. The teacher may elect

to use passages from children’s books if he or she feels that it meets their

needs.

Introduction

Play the I Spy game. Describe a few students in the class without

stating their names. Have the students guess which students you

described.

Procedure

The teacher will ask the students to come to the rug. He or she will

explain that they will listen to two passages that are listed on chart

paper. The teacher will read the each passage with the vague details to

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the class. After reading the first passage, ask the class if they can picture

the characters in their heads. The teacher will then read the second

passage with more describing words, and ask the class if they have a

better sense of the characters. Finally, ask students to identify the

adjectives used to describe the characters in the second passage.

Students will be asked to identify which words are describing words. The

teacher will then underline those words. After both passages are read,

the class will count the number of describing words in each passage.

Activity

Students will be asked to reflect on which story did a better job of

describing the characters and tell why they felt that way. Struggling

students may be asked to draw the characters in the story.

Debriefing

The teacher will then ask the class to indicate which passage they

liked more and why. The teacher may want to make index cards listing

those describing words and include the index cards on a word wall.

Resources

Chart paper containing prewritten stories, markers, paper, and

pencils.

Assessment

Teacher Checklist

Was the student able to identify which story did a better job of

describing the characters?

Was the student able to explain why they felt that way?

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu wwrriittee aa ggrreeaatt ddeessccrriippttiivvee ppaappeerr??

Pre-Writing Stage

Lesson: What are the steps are necessary to take in order to

write a good descriptive writing piece?

Time: 40 minutes


Activity: Pupa experience and the steps to a great paper

Level

Introduction of steps in the descriptive writing process


The purpose of this activity is to introduce the students to the

writing steps of the Description of Two People Unit.

Students will be able to explain the writing process.

Students will understand that there are writing habits that make

writing pieces better.

Activity

Students will learn about a fictitious student’s experience with this

unit. This is an ongoing activity that will assist in the students’ ability to

comprehend the learning objectives of the unit.

Introduction

The teacher will introduce the students to Pupa, a first grader in

another school. The teacher will tell the students that Pupa is expected to

write a paper on describing two people and that he may need their help.

Procedure

The teacher will draw the story of Pupa on the board. Pupa is a

first-grade student who had to complete a writing assignment in which

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he had to describe two people. His first attempt was unsuccessful,

leaving him feeling sad. He turns to a teacher for help and that teacher

explains that there are steps that good writers follow in order to write a

great paper. The class will help the teacher arrange the steps on chart

paper. Pupa follows those steps and then he is successful.

Debriefing

Explain that writing a paper can be scary or overwhelming. It is a

lot easier if you follow some simple steps that will lead you to a great

paper as well as help you develop good writing habits. The teacher will

show the students a chart with the writing steps along with a cutout of

Pupa. Pupa then climbs the steps towards a great paper as the students

in the class execute the different lessons included in this unit.

Assessment

Class participation, questions and answers period, observations.

Resources

Chart “Steps Towards a Great Paper,” sentence strips, cutout of

Pupa.

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Chart: Steps Towards a Great Paper

(top of chart)

Read my paper aloud to my classmates.

Check to see if I have complete sentences.

Change or add words to make my paper better.

Write how the people are different.

Write how the people are the same.

List my words to make a Venn diagram.

List words to tell about them.

Draw two people I know.

(bottom of chart)

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu ddeessccrriibbee ttwwoo ppeeooppllee wwhhoo yyoouu kknnooww??

Pre-Writing Stage

Lesson: What are some ways you can describe two people you

know?

Time: 2 days at 40 minutes each day


Activity: Drawing two people that you know


Students will draw a picture of two people they know and then list

words to describe the two people.

Introduction

Have the students brainstorm ideas on the different ways they can

describe people. The teacher may want to refer to a word wall that lists

attributes of people or a synonym/antonym word wall.

Procedure

The teacher should explain to the class that they will be drawing

two people that they know. On the first day, they will draw one person.

On the second day, they will draw another person. The teacher will select

two people known to the class. It could be students or teachers present

in the school. The teacher should ask the students for help in drawing the

first person on day one.

For example, ask how the first person can be drawn. The teacher

will then ask the class to tell the different ways the class was able to

describe the person. Possible answers include hair color, eye color, how

the person behaves in school. The teacher may want to record student

responses and post the list on the board so that the students can refer to

it when completing their assignment. The teacher should also post the

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drawing that was completed during the modeling process. The teacher

will ask the class to draw one of the two people that they know.

On the second day, follow the same process only with the second

person. The teacher should emphasis that it is important to include

physical characteristic as well as show how the people behave. For

example, if a person likes to play sports, show that person playing sports.

Activity

On both days, the students will use a piece of paper to draw a

person that they know. The paper should have a designated space for the

drawing as well as a space for students to list words. The list should

appear at the corner of the paper so that the students can have enough

space for the drawings. One sheet of paper should be used per subject.

Save the drawing as they will be used in the next lesson.

Debriefing


such as: What details did you include in your drawing? Where you able

to show what the person looks like or how the person behaves?

Resources

Chart paper, markers, special paper, pencils.

Assessment

Teacher checklist – This checklist should be used on both days.

Was the student able to draw a person?

Did the student include details that tell what the person looked

like?

Did the student include details that tell how the person behaves?

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu lliisstt ddeessccrriibbiinngg wwoorrddss ((aaddjjeeccttiivveess)) tthhaatt tteellll aabboouutt ttwwoo

ppeeooppllee wwhhoo yyoouu kknnooww??

Pre-Writing Stage

Lesson: How can you list words that describe two people?

Time: One day at 40 minutes


Activity: Listing words that tell of two people that you know


Students will list words that tell of two people that they know using

the drawings that they created.

Introduction




Procedure

The teacher should explain to the class that they will be listing

words that tell about two people that they know. The teacher will model

the process to the class. First the teacher will show the class the drawing

of the first person. The teacher will ask for words that tell about the first

person based on the drawing. The teacher will record the answers on the

same paper as the drawings only in the lower corner. The teacher will

ask the students to take out their drawings and list words that tell about

the first person. The teacher will observe the students as they complete

this process.

Once that is complete, the teacher will repeat the process, this time

with the second person. The teacher should emphasis that it is important

to include physical characteristic as well as show how the people behave.

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For example if a person likes to play sports, list “athletic” as a word that

tells about the person.

Activity

The students will use the same drawings that were completed in

the prior lesson. This time the students will list words that tell about the

people. The teacher will model listing words that tell about the first

person and then the students will list words that tell about their first

person. The teacher will model listing words that tell about the second

person and then the students will list words that tell about their second

person.

Debriefing


such as: What words did you include in your list? Where you able to

describe what the person looks like or how the person behaves?

Resources

Chart paper, markers, paper from prior lesson, pencils.

Assessment

Teacher checklist and observations.

Did the student include words that tell how someone looks

and/or behaves?

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu uussee aa VVeennnn ddiiaaggrraamm ttoo oorrggaanniizzee ddeessccrriibbiinngg wwoorrddss tthhaatt

tteellll aabboouutt ttwwoo ppeeooppllee yyoouu kknnooww??

Drafting Stage

Lesson: How can you use a Venn diagram to organize describing

words that tell about two people you know?

Time: One day at 40 minutes


Activity: Using a Venn diagram to organize words that tell of two

people that you know


Students will use a Venn diagram to organize describing words that

tell of two people that they know.

Introduction




Procedure

The teacher should explain to the class that they will learn how to

use a Venn diagram to organize the words the students’ chose when

describing two people that they know. The teacher will model the

process to the class. First, the teacher will show a picture of a Venn

diagram and explain how it is used to organize information to show what

two things have in common and what makes them different from one

another. The teacher will show the class the list of words generated by

the class during the previous lesson. The teacher will show the students

how to organize the words on the Venn diagram. The students will then

practice this concept.

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Note: The teacher may elect to model grouping the words that both

subjects have in common and then have the students complete that part.

Then the teacher can list the words that make each subject different and

then have the students practice that part.

Activity

The students will use the same lists that were completed in the

prior lesson. This time the students will group the words that tell about

the people. The teacher will model grouping the words that tell about

the first person and then the students will group the words that tell

about their first person.

Debriefing


such as: What did you learn about a Venn diagram? Are you able to

organize information with a Venn diagram?

Resources

Chart paper, markers, paper from prior lesson, Venn diagrams.

Assessment

Completed Venn diagram.

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu uussee aa VVeennnn ddiiaaggrraamm ttoo wwrriittee sseenntteenncceess aabboouutt ttwwoo ppeeooppllee

yyoouu kknnooww??

Drafting Stage

Lesson: How can you use a Venn diagram to write sentences

about two people you know?

Time: Three days at 40 minutes


Activity: Using a Venn diagram to write sentences about two

people


Students will write sentences, using the words listed on their Venn

diagrams, that tell about two people.

Introduction

Explain to the class that they will be using their Venn diagrams to

help them write sentences.

Procedure

The teacher should explain to the class that they will learn how to

use a Venn diagram to help them write sentences describing two people

that they know. The teacher will model the process to the class. The

teacher will use the same Venn diagram used to model the previous

lessons of this unit. On the first day, the teacher will use the Venn

diagram to write sentences using the words that describe both subjects.

The teacher will show the class how to write sentences that describe

similar attributes that tell about the two subjects.

Once the teacher has completed this lesson, the students will then

write sentences using the words they listed as describing both of their

subjects. On the second day, the teacher will model writing sentences

that tell how the first person is different from the second person. The

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students will then write sentences that tell how their first person is

different from the second person. On the third day, the teacher will

model writing sentences that tell how the second person is different

from the first person. The students will write sentences that tell how the

second person is different from the first person.

Activity

The students will use the same Venn diagrams that were completed

in the prior lesson. This time students will write complete sentences that

tell about the two people they are describing.

Debriefing


such as: What did you learn about a Venn diagram? Are you able to write

sentences using your Venn diagram?

Resources

Chart paper, markers, Venn diagrams from prior lesson.

Assessment

Descriptive Unit Checklist

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu mmaakkee yyoouurr ffiirrsstt ddrraafftt bbeetttteerr??

Revising Stage

Lesson: How can you make your first draft better?

Time: Two days at 40 minutes


Activity: Using mini lessons to help students revise their work


The students will be exposed to mini lessons that will help them

revise their writing pieces. Writing problems will be presented as

“Pupa’s” problems and the class will help Pupa during this series of mini-

lessons.

Introduction

Explain that “Pupa” needs help revising this work.

Pre-activity

From the drafting lessons, the teacher should note grammatical

and writing problems exhibited by students in the classroom. These

problems will be presented as Pupa’s problems and the class will help

Pupa develop better writing strategies in a series of revising mini

lessons.

Mini Lesson 1

The teacher noticed that the some students were writing run-

on sentences and over using the word “and” when writing about

people. Begin this lesson reading a page from a book. Try to find a page

that has 10-15 sentences. When reading the page, emphasize the periods.

Explain that there are many sentences on the page and that the author

did not using the word “and” to connect all of the sentences. Then show

the class a sample of Pupa’s work that includes run-on sentences and an

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over use of the word “and.” Ask the students to help Pupa rewrite his

sentences. Have the students look at their drafts to see if they have run-

on sentences or include the word “and” too many times. Students may

work on their own or with a partner to revise their work.

Mini Lesson 2

Some students were beginning many sentences with the word

“because.” Show the class a sample of Pupa’s work that includes

sentences that begin with the word “because.” Ask the students to help

Pupa rewrite his sentences. Have the students look at their drafts to see

if they begin sentences with the word “because.” Students may work on

their own or with a partner to revise their work.

Procedure

On chart paper, the teacher will simulate problems exhibited in the

classroom. With assistance, the students will identify that is wrong with

the writing pieces and will suggest strategies to fix those problems. The

teacher will then demonstrate the correct way of writing complete

sentences that describe people. Distribute “My Revising Steps” handout

to the class.

Activity

The students will participate in revising activities and then revise

their own work.

Debriefing


such as: What did you learn from Pupa’s writing? What are some ways

you can make your writing better?

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Resources

Chart paper, Pupa’s writing samples, students’ first drafts

Assessment

“My Revising Steps Checklist” see below

Note: The teacher should spend this time conferencing with students and

providing them with immediate feedback on ways in which they can

improve their first drafts. If needed, the revising stage can be extended

so that all students have a chance to work with the teacher. It is helpful

for the teacher to record notes on the students’ work as well as in an

anecdotal notebook kept by the teacher.

My Revising Steps

Source: Strategies for Writers Handbook

Step 1: Read my paper out loud or to myself.

Step 2: Look for places where I can tell more about a person. Change or

add words to tell more.

Step 3: Read my paper again. Is it better?

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu eeddiitt yyoouurr ppaappeerr ttoo mmaakkee iitt bbeetttteerr??

Editing and Rewriting Stage

Lesson: How can you edit your paper to make it better?

Time: three days at 40 minutes


Activity: Editing activities


Students will edit and rewrite their work.

Introduction

Explain to the class that they will be using their Venn diagrams to

help them write sentences.

Procedure

The teacher should explain to the class that they will edit and

rewrite their first drafts during this stage of the writing process.

Students will use the feedback that they received as well as the

Descriptive Writing Checklist to edit and rewrite their paper.

Activity

The students rewrite their paper as their final revision. Once that is

completed, students will draw their final pictures of the two people they

wrote about in their project.

Debriefing


such as: What were some things you edited in your paper before you

rewrote it? Did the checklist help you edit your work?

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Resources

Writing paper with a section to draw, pencils, colored pencils.

Assessment

Descriptive Unit Checklist

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu sshhaarree yyoouurr wwrriittiinngg ppiieecceess wwiitthh tthhee ccllaassss??

Publishing Stage

Lesson: How can you share your writing pieces with the class?

Time: One day for one hour


Activity: Publishing party activities


Students will share their work at a publishing party.

Introduction

Explain to the class that they will be reading their projects to the

class.

Procedure

The teacher should have the students sit in a comfortable setting,

preferably facing each other. The teacher will assist the students in

reading their writing pieces in front of the class. The students will also

display their final drawings to the class. If possible, the teacher may want

to include refreshments or prizes for the class.

Activity

The students share their projects.

Debriefing


such as: What did you like about this project? What do you think about

the writing process?

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Resources

Comfortable setting in the classroom, refreshments.

Assessment

Did the students complete the work? Were the students able to

share their work with the class?

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HHooww ccaann yyoouu aappppllyy wwhhaatt yyoouu lleeaarrnneedd??

Post Project

Lesson: How can you apply what you learned?

Time: 2 – 3 days


Activity: Character creations

Extension Activity (How can we apply what we learned? stage)

Transferring of skills is an important aspect of learning. This

project lets students show what they learned in a creative way.

Extension Activity: Creation of Their Very Own Character

1) The teacher will list various character traits and adjectives on

sentence strips.

2) Have students sketch a picture of a character that exhibits the

character trait or adjective selected.

3) Using the drawing, have the students write one to three

paragraphs describing the character. Be sure that the project

conveys the proper meaning of the character trait or adjective.

4) Review the writing with the students.

5) Have the students write the final draft of their paper.

6) Have the students draw their final versions of their characters.

7) Have the students present their projects to the class.

Words included in this lesson:

disgruntled disarming mischievous

sloppy generous messy

exquisite intelligent wise

bossy energetic athletic

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Tip: The teacher may want to browse vocabulary books designed for

students in the upper grades for words to use during this activity. Also,

some of the words used above were located in SAT guides.

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Data Class 121

Teaching Staff 1 Head Teacher

1 Teaching Assistant

Ethnicity Asian 0

African American 7

Hispanics 18

Multi 1

Gender Females 14

Males 12

Language Proficiency ELL 9

Non-ELL 17

IEP 2

Terra Nova (25 students)

Students at Level 1 (Below 65%) 23 students

Students at Level 2 (66% - 79%) 2 students



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Class Average ---► 38.1%

Trophies First Term – (26 students) Students at Level 1 (Below 65%) 2 students




Class Average ---► 87%

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Reflection During the course of this unit, I was pleasantly surprised to see

how much my class enjoyed learning new descriptive words. My

students had a lot of fun learning and using words from the unit.

Through a series of acting activities and exposure to the Sesame Street

website and books, Class 121 learned new vocabulary words to help

them describe people. I think this also helped boost their confidence with

the writing process. They were proud to use words such as disarming,

mischievous, intelligent, etc.

I discovered all of the students in my class had the ability to

improve their descriptive vocabulary and speak with an academic tone.

It did not matter if the student was an ELL student or not. I feel that if a

teacher breaks down a unit enough, he or she can teach anything to first

graders. With regard to this unit, I felt that if my students can describe

someone as angry, then they can learn the word disgruntled. If they can

describe something as beautiful, then they can use the word exquisite.

I was also pleasantly surprised to see that my students were able to

engage in an extension activity that required higher order thinking skills.

Once the students demonstrated an understanding of descriptive

language, I thought it would be fun for the class to develop their own

characters using one of the words that they learned in class. In this

activity, students used the word that they selected along with their

imagination and wrote a description of a character that would convey

the meaning of the word which was selected. In addition, they would

bring their character to life by drawing a picture of the character. I

thought this activity would be a good way to strengthen their

understanding of the new vocabulary words.

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Students in Class 121 were much more engaged in this unit

because it had a creative component.

The students liked Pupa so much so that he has become the 27th

student in my classroom and I suspect that he will be helping my

students with future projects.

Consideration for the future:

During the editing process, students reviewed each other’s

work. I used the checklist from the textbook. I think creating a

kid-friendly rubric or check-off sheet that the students could use

when reviewing each other’s work would have been more

advantageous. I would like to create one for future writing

lessons rather than using a photocopy of the checklist presented

in the textbook.

I would add more cross-curricular connections to the arts. I

would like to have shown the class a piece of artwork and ask

the students to tell me what they see and why. The creative arts

rely on descriptive language and the integration of art into this

unit would have provided another real-life connection. This

would have also served as another opportunity for students to

describe something and practice explaining why they felt that

way.

I would have liked to use more games during this unit.

For the purpose of this unit, I only used a checklist. In the future,

I may want to create a rubric to assess the students.

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Blank Materials

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Name: ___________________ Date: __________

Class: __________________ Grade: __________

Extension Activity Checklist

□ Did I stay on task?

□ Did I convey the meaning of the word I chose in the character

description?

□ Did I draw a picture to match the character description?

□ Did I start my sentences with capital letters?

□ Did I end my sentences with the proper punctuation marks?

Teacher Feedback:

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

______________________

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Name _________________________ Date __________

Descriptive Writing Checklist

Does your paper include descriptive words that tell

how both people look and/or behave?

Does your writing need to have words changed or

added?

Does each sentence start with a capital letter?

Is there a period at the end of each telling sentence?

Does the paper use describing words for shape, size

and color?

Teacher Comment:

___________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________

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Instructional Resources

Websites

Sesamestreet.org

Books

The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss

Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss

It’s Okay to be Different by Todd Parr

Dog Eared by Amanda Harvey

Franklin books by Paulette Bourgeois

Arthur books by Marc Brown

Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer

Games

I Spy

Mime Game

Simon Says with vocabulary words

Applause game – weak words receive weak applauses, rich

vocabulary words receive strong applauses.

Word Walls

Synonymous and antonyms word walls

Descriptive words word wall

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Documents

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