HEAVENMAGAZINE

SPRING2012

james / beauty seeker

And though I have the gift of prophecy,and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,

and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

C :

SPRING 2012dipped my hand in the cold stream waterand felt quite sure i would never die

Itwas the nineties, or possibly the eighties. I was running from something (”fleeing” is probably more appropriate) and there was a girl with me, my partner in crime. We were in an arcade, and lanky white boys and anorexic blondes were chewing bubble gum and wearing flannelflannel shirts, and some were rolling around in roller skates. Wait, I recognize this place - out of the window I catch sight of the nondescript brick of the parking garage, the one in Georgetown by the waterfront - but the decade has changed (without my noticing) and the girl is wearing an oriental scarf and she’s girl is wearing an oriental scarf and she’s seated on a lavish amoire, picking up a marble-accent phone (the kind with the holes that you stick your finger in and spin). It’s dark in the room and the wallpaper is kind of shiny, but it’s dark blue, and the molding is gold, and there is a fine red rug in the center of everything. I’m pretty sure she’s wearing pearl earrings.

Anyways,Anyways, I figured I’d record that just for the sake of documenting it. So, you know, I can look back on my life at a later time and laugh at all the crazies that I went through.

When I look back on my life, I hope it all makes sense. I think I need to believe that in the end, it will all make sense. I need to remember who I am and why I was put on this earth. I need to remember this because I feel like I knew this once, only I’ve forgotten, and that makes me feel very empty.

Sushi on my mind

Woomi Garden

A hidden sushi gem in Wheaton, Maryland, the perfect cure for your impulsive sushi cravings...

photograph by james pan

Rice dessert and ice cream (opposite page)

young COLORS!

the season of new beginnings

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters.” -Audrey Hepburn

It is grey and raining. I am sitting in my car in an empty parking lot. The rain is like short staccato droplets on the roof of my car. I am listening to the radio, and I hear that it’s supposed to rain like this all day.

I was walking along the sidewalk thinking about Josie and salt and vinegar chips and board games when I glanced up at the sky and caught sight of a shooting star. The thing lasted mere milliseconds - gone in a flash - but it was truly magnificent.

OnOn the other side, there are people wearing bell bottoms and flower print skirts dancing around a fire. There is a sitar player, and nobody wants to go home. Rain drops are falling from the sky now, but somehow, the fire stays lit. They call it the Grey Wind, when the rain sweeps in from the mountains. ThereThere is no grass in the meadow, though, de-spite the fertile Earth.

A man and a woman enter my taxi. The man smells like the sleaze of the streets. The woman is decorated in the vapid attire of late-night she-nanigans. Her face is too round. The man croaks a street and a number. It happens to be quite far. I drive, I drive, and as I drive, the city slips below my rear-view mirror, and soon the square grid of buildingsbuildings is replaced by silence and the glow of the periodic street lamps. I am driving to a place from my past, I think, but it’s been so long I almost can’t remember. There used to be a sunflower field, and in the summer, I would see burly men stooped over with their sickles glistening in the sun. Once, I ran to the house on the corner of the farm to sit and watch the workers work, but the dogs chased me away. I never had the guts to sneak into the field at night, but there used to be a girl and I thoughtthought if I could just get one of these flowers for her, she’d let me take her to the dance. Somehow, those flowers reminded me of her.

HEAVEN Magazine

www.heaventhemag.comheaventhemag.tumblr.com

Copyright 2012

www.heaventhemag.com

heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heheaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine heaven magazine