HEALTH & WELL-BEING

Finding peace in mind

CIRCLE OF LIFE: In Tibetan Buddhist teachings, death is not a simple end to life. Rather, it is a process that takes an individual on a journey of multiple stages that may take about seven weeks.

Danish-born Buddhist teacherLama Ole Nydahl is coming toCanberra to speak about asubject many find harder tocontemplate than happiness:death and rebirth.Karen Ingram reports

HE’S ADDICTED to fast motor-bikes, admits to having spentmuch of his youth taking drugsand has spent time in prison, but

when Lama Ole Nydahl speaks to a crowd,the overwhelming impression he leaves isone of peace and wellbeing.

When the Danish-born Buddhist teachervisited Canberra last year to talk aboutfinding happiness in the fast lane, more than200 people had to be turned away.

In 2004, he was commissioned by theAthens Olympics organising committee toprovide international Olympians with asuitable setting in which to meditate duringthe Games.

Nydahl and his wife, Hannah — who isalso a lama but doesn’t teach — discoveredBuddhism together on their 1968 honey-moon in the Himalayas. There, they mettheir first Buddhist teacher, the 16th GyalwaKarmapa, and became two of the firstWesterners fully qualified to teach in theKarma Kagyu tradition, one of the mainschools of Tibetan Buddhism.

Gyalwa Karmapa is the spiritual leader ofthe ancient Karma Kagyu lineage.

In 1972, the 16th Karmapa directedNydahl to found the first European KarmaKagyu centre in Nydahl’s hometown ofCopenhagen, Denmark.

Since then, the 64-year-old has travelledthe world, establishing about 500 meditationand study centres, including MahamudraHouse in Canberra.

He will visit Canberra again next week but

this time Nydahl will speak about a subjectmost Westerners find harder to contemplatethan happiness: death and rebirth.

Many Canberrans are already familiarwith Nydahl’s teachings, through his pre-vious visits and the books he’s written whichexplore different areas of Buddhism.

On this visit, he will be asking listeners tochange some of their ways of thinking aboutdeath, which he regards not as something tofear, but rather a great opportunity to workwith our minds.

‘‘If we were always aware of mind itself,dying would be like changing our clothes,’’Nydahl says. ‘‘The mind’s ability to beaware, and its joy, power and activity wouldnever stop. The radiance of mind itself ismuch richer than the joy most of us strivefor, that is conditional upon our situation inlife.’’

In Tibetan Buddhist teachings, death isnot a simple end to life. Rather, it is a processthat takes an individual on a journey ofmultiple stages that may take about sevenweeks, similar to how Buddhists describe the

stages of a human life. ‘‘Beings experiencelittle but intermediate states throughouttheir lives until they attain the state ofenlightenment, when mind recognises itsown timeless clear light.’’

Waking, sleeping and dreaming are statesof consciousness, or ‘‘bardos’’, and, whilealive, humans and animals move betweenthese three states. But rather than endingwith death, the consciousness lives on whenan individual dies, and three further bardosappear.

‘‘First comes the process of dying itself,the centring of energies in one’s body.Whether death is quick or slow, this is aprofound transformation. After three days ofunconsciousness, a week follows wheremind continues in habitual flow from theprevious life. During the next two weeks, therecognition that one is dead surfaces evermore often.’’

Then, in the last three of the seven weeksof the journey of death, the individualcomes, through rebirth, to one of six realmsof existence.

It’s a process through which a being mustrealise they have died, and come to termswith the shock, before they can embark on anew course of life.

For the uninitiated it sounds complex, butpeople who embrace Buddhism say thereligion’s philosophies of life, death andrebirth help them bring true simplicity intotheir lives.

Much of this philosophy revolves aroundan understanding of karma, which Nydahlsays means cause and effect — not fate, asmany people believe.

‘‘The understanding that each of us isresponsible for our own lives makes itpossible to consciously generate positiveimpressions which bring happiness whileavoiding the causes of future suffering.Positive states of mind may be effectivelystrengthened through the methods of theDiamond Way, while negative impressionswaiting to mature, can be transformed intowisdom.’’

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Little horrors easy to forgive when

KAREN HARDY

Motherload

WHY DO your children make it soeasy to forget past indiscretions?They may have been little horrors

all day and into the night, and when you goto check on them later and they’re sleepinglike angels, you forget so quickly about thehair-pulling fights and the throw myself onthe floor type tantrums.

There’s nothing like a good night’s sleep tochange a child overnight. They wake upchirpy and smiling and eating their bubblebix — as Blossie and The Monster have takento calling the leftover Rice Bubbles from achocolate crackle making session — like

they’ve never tasted anything so delicious,and you forget all about the night before.

Which isn’t an easy thing to do when thenight before has involved a marathon

session of returning The Monster to his bed.For some unknown reason (and I know thereprobably is a reason, he’s had a bit of a cold,he’s changed rooms at day care, it’s been toohot to sleep) he’s decided to become a nightwaker. Much scarier than any night-stalkermemory I have from the 1970s.

It’s not that he’s creating havoc, justwandering through the house to tell you howtired he is, how sorry he is, how this is the‘‘last day, mummy’’ that he’ll do it.

You can’t help but love him for wanting tospend time with his mummy at 3am but he’sstretching the limits of our relationship.

Open to the publicWhat: Beyond Life and Death: TibetanBuddhist Teachings on Death and Rebirth.An evening with Buddhist teacher Lama OleNydahl followed by a panel discussion with:■ Peter Dunn, Emergency ServicesCommissioner.■ Mal McKissock, bereavement counsellor.■ Louise Maher, 666 ABC Canberra.■ Dr Andrew Skeels, Hospice MedicalDirector.When: Monday, February 6.Time: 7-11pm.Where: The hall at the National Museum ofAustralia.Bookings: Ph: 6208 5021. Visit:www.nma.gov.au

SPIRITUAL HEALING: When Lama Ole Nydahl speaks to a crowd, the overwhelming impression heleaves is one of peace and wellbeing.

Karma also determines the body one isborn into, the environment into which oneis born and the motivations that, whenenacted, lead to one’s next existence.

As part of this ongoing cycle, Nydahl saysevery person needs to meditate regularly tobe in touch with their own being.

But given his non-stop international toursto fulfil the demands of a public hungry tohear him speak, he has little time of his ownfor sitting meditation.

‘‘My schedule, which has included a new

town nearly every day for the last 22 years. . . does not permit that. Instead, I leave mymind in its own place and let my legs runaround.’’

And a fast set of wheels is always good fora spot of inner peace.

During a visit to Australia in 2003 Nydahltold a Sydney newspaper that he wouldoften get his motorcycle off the plane andhead out on the open road.

‘‘You have these lovely little curvy roadswith no policemen,’’ he said.

‘‘You’re free in nature. It’s a wonderfulthing and there are no uniforms in sight. Ialso like the German autobahns where thereare no speed limits.’’

He has also professed his love ofskydiving, saying freefall is a very goodmeditation, a ‘‘naked awareness’’. AndNydahl does look more like an adrenalinjunkie than a spiritual teacher — with hischiselled cheekbones, tanned skin and shortsilver hair, he is a vibrantly healthy-lookingman, almost impossibly youthful for his 64years.

Biographical material on the Internetsuggests he has lost friends who used heavydrugs, and that he began using drugshimself in Denmark when he was just out ofhis teens.

For a time, drugs provided the youngNydahl with the higher level of conscious-ness he sought, and he made frequent tripsoverseas to bring back hash to his friends inDenmark.

One such trip ended badly, though, andhe was jailed for six months for trying tobring 10kg of fine hash back into thecountry.

He has spoken openly about drugs with-out condemning them absolutely, and saysthe bardo of dreaming may include mostdrug-induced states.

Nydahl has also spoken passionatelyabout world politics and, on a previous visitto Canberra, he revealed a more conserva-tive world view than one might expect.

Asked what he thought of the worldsituation, he praised the qualities Australiahad shown as America’s ally in Vietnam, andsaid he could understand why, with ourproximity to Indonesia, Australia nurtured afriendship with a big bodyguard such as theUnited States.

He also praised Prime Minister JohnHoward’s handling of illegal immigration,saying it was a huge problem in Europe thatno political leader had been able to contain.

Whether or not one agrees, many ofNydahl’s descriptions of the actions thatdetermine how one is reborn ring very truein today’s world.

For example, a life of jealousy may lead toa rebirth into a life of aggression for peoplewho are deeply disturbed when others enjoymore happiness than they.

Likewise, greed makes not only this lifemiserable, but also the next.

‘‘The more some people have, thestronger their possessions imprison them,’’he says.

But the worst pollutant of the mind ishatred, which can manifest in rebirth asheavy paranoia and pain.

However, he says, we have the control inour hands to influence our own paths, and‘‘by doing what is useful and avoiding harm,one may inspire others to experience, andalso share the best of the impermanenthappiness inherent in mind’’.

The key, he says, is meditation — ‘‘aware-ness independent of anything, beyond birthand death, without coming or going’’.

Meditation is a precious opportunity thatallows the after-death bardo states tobecome gateways to enlightenment. ‘‘Theygive us our best chance to confront mindwith its true nature and to set it free.’’

■ Great Seal Meditation Course, Tuesday,February 7, Mahamudra House, Wattle St,Lyneham (opposite shops). Session times: 10am-1pm, 3pm-6pm, 8pm-11pm. Cost: $80/$60concessions. Ph: 6249 7090. Visit:www.diamondway.org.au

JANE BARRY

Parenting

QI’ve almost eliminated everything frommy diet to see if what I’m eating is

causing our six-week-old baby to be sounsettled. Nothing has helped and I feel likegiving up breastfeeding altogether. Whatelse can I try?

ASome people mistakenly believe thatmaternal diet while breastfeeding has a

direct affect on babies’ behaviour. In reality,there is very little correlation between whatmothers eat and how settled their babiesare. Wakefulness and crying at this age, inthriving babies, is often due to overtiredness,gut discomfort or a general need forsoothing and comfort. The days ofeliminating many foods such as vegetables,fruit, cereals and dairy foods from the dietsof lactating women are fortunately over.Dietary restrictions caused generations ofmothers to become hungry and miserablewith little measurable improvement in theirbabies’ behaviour. We know that breast milkis produced from the nutrients of the foodsmothers eat, rather than directly from thefood itself. However, some babies areparticularly sensitive to strong smelling andtasting foods in their mother’s milk. Garlic,onions and cruciferous vegetables such ascabbage and broccoli have long been blamedfor causing colic, though as long as thesefoods are eaten in moderation and in balancewith a healthy diet, there are generally noproblems. Weaning is no guarantee thatyour baby will become calmer and it’simportant to eliminate other causes for his/her unsettledness.

QOur darling two-year-old girl overheardme swearing and now she’s like a

parrot repeating what I said. We try not toreact, but it sounds so severe to hear her andshe’s saying it in public now. What can stopher?

ATwo-year-olds can’t comprehend themeaning of swearing, though they

quickly learn that they get a response whenthey make those sounds. This is what tendsto perpetuate the swearing cycle — a simplecause and effect. Toddlers love attention andanimation from adults and she’s learnt thatdoing this is a winner. The answer is tocompletely ignore her when she swears anddon’t show any response, not even eyecontact. Distract her, focus on somethingelse and just gloss over those little gemswhich come out of her mouth. Avoidappearing shocked and don’t laugh or giveher reason to think you find it funny, assometimes it can be. Ask others to do as youare, so there’s consistency in your responses.Swearing can be automatic for many of us,but it’s worth remembering that there arelittle people around who will pick up on newwords. The other issue is that many swearwords are one syllable and for children, whoare learning to talk, easily repeated.

Did you know?US researchers have found evidence that intimes of economic or social stress, malefoetuses are less likely to survive in the uterus.It has long been thought that the stresshormone cortisol plays a vital role, as it canhave damaging effects on male foetuses,leaving females reasonably unaffected. Butcurrent research states that during stressfulpregnancies, cortisol is unconsciously producedin an effort to ensure survival of the fittest.Female embryos and foetuses are known to bestronger than males. Research was based onSwedish birth records over 160 years, becauseof its history of extreme weather conditions,wars and economic hardship.

■ Jane Barry is a mother, registered nurse,midwife and child-health nurse. Send questionsto parentingqueries@yahoo.com.au

■ The advice in this column is of a generalnature only. For individual parenting guidance,it is recommended that you speak with yourown health-care provider.

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all is fresh in hazy, crazy morningI counted the other night — 30 times in an

hour and a half. He didn’t even give me timeto sit back down on the lounge before he’dbe opening his door again. A couple of timeson the nights before that he’d scream thehouse down, waking Blossie, the dog andprobably the neighbours, but usually it’s avery sedate affair. It’s just bloody tiring. Up,down, up, down. I should be grateful for thework my quads are getting.

Having been through the fabulous QueenElizabeth II Centre with Blossie, a life-changing and life-saving four days, I’m anold hand at the techniques needed, but how

can you control the crying when there’s nocrying involved. One book I have suggeststying the door closed with a rope, leaving agap big enough for a peak out but nothingmore, but I think that’s going a little too far.So we’ve decided if it’s attention he’s afterhe won’t get it and the returning techniqueinvolves nothing more than accompanyinghim back to his room and pulling up hisblankies. No chat, no eye contact, no givingin to his requests for cuddles or water orteddies.

It’s time for bed. I think he’s getting it.He’s a smart boy.

Because there he was the next morning,probably having noticed that mum wasspending the wee hours on the loungewatching the tennis, whacking a balloonaround the lounge room with a woodenspoon, ‘‘me tennis mummy, me tennis’’ andthere was his sister, practising balancing onone leg with her stuffed dog sitting on herhead and trying to ribbon dance at the sametime.

It’s like waking up in a whole new world,albeit one viewed — by the parents at least— with blurry, sleep-deprived eyes.