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HABIT 5#:SEEK FIRST T0 UNDERSTAND,

THEN TO BE UNDERSTOODBased on Stephen Coveys7 Habits of Highly Effective People

ListeniBy Jasyanthri Nadaraja

Knowledge Sharing_28092012

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Ineffective: I listen with the intent to replyEffective: I listen with the intent to

understand

Principle#: To communicateeffectively, we must firstunderstand each other

Behaviour:1. Diagnose Before

Prescribe2. Listen Empathically3. Seek to be understood

from the othersperspective

Results:1. Greater influence with

others2. Solutions to complex

problems3. Clarity on real issues4. Faster problem solving

Key to effective interperso

nalcommunication

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Autobiographical Listening

Levels of Listening:

(1) IGNORING / SPACING OUT

(2) PRETEND LISTENING

(3) SELECTIVE LISTENING

(4) ATTENTIVE LISTENING

Mind wandering / daydreaming

Not paying attention butpretending to Hearing only what you want to

hear Listening with intent to reply

v 5TH Level The Highest Form ofListening

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Filtering what others sayTypical Responses:

AutobiographicalResponses

i. Advisingii. Probing

iii. Interpreting

iv. Evaluating

- Counsel & OfferSolutions- Asking from our referenceframe- Explaining based onexperience- Judging

e.g. Experiences; Stories; Prejudices/ Biases;and Values

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Wanting to listen and wanting tounderstand the other person

Through Empathic Listening

Definition: EmpathyWHAT:(i) Putting yourself in another persons

situation

HOW:(ii) Reflecting what the other person feelsand say it in your own words

Effective Listening

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* Discern when not necessary or appropriate

Empathic ListeningEMPATHIC LISTENING RESPONSES

(1) Repeat what was just said

(2) Rephrase content Repeat in your ownwords

(3) Reflect feelings - Express what you think the

other feels.(4) Rephrase and reflect feelings (combine 2 &3)

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Listening As ACommunication

Tool

Empathic listening is about usingALL these aspects of communication

at the same time.

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Reading the SignsOur body language, tone of voice, and feelings communicate more loudly

than the words we use.

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Listening with your eyes

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Judge content, not delivery The Poor Listener: Tunes out if delivery is poor The Good Listener: Judges content, skips over

delivery errors.

Keep your mind open The Poor Listener: Reacts to emotional words The Good Listener: Interprets emotional words;

does not get hung up on them

Listen for ideas The Poor Listener: Listen for facts The Good Listener: Listen for central theme

Keys to Effective Listening

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Resist distractions The Poor Listener: Is distracted easily The Good Listener: Fights or avoids distractions;

tolerates bad habits in others; knows how to

concentrate.

Hold your fire The Poor Listener: Tends to enter into argument

The Good Listener: Doesnt judge untilcomprehension is complete

Thought is faster than speech; Use it

The Poor Listener: Tends to daydream with slow

ContKeys to EffectiveListening

THE END

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THANK YOU

FORLISTENING!

Q&A???