Guidelines Happy life guide.pdf

7/29/2019 Guidelines Happy life guide.pdf

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The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life

www.terrapinn.com www.essential-education.org

Get Real


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Why happiness?

Everyone wants to be happy and to avoid suering its the basic driver behind

just about everything we think, say and do. Its also one o the hottest topics in the

media, and has spawned a global industry o books and research projects.

For many people, the more they chase ater happiness, the more it seems to elude

them. Why is it that there is so little understanding o what causes us to be happy

and to suer? Despite decades o economic progress, scientic studies show that

there has been no corresponding improvement in our happiness.

The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life Get Realis a call to action,both personally

and in our working lives.

What are the 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life?

The 16 Guidelines are inspired by a set o timeless advice or everyday lie that was introduced into

seventh century Tibet by King Songtsen Gampo. They are suitable or people o any culture or aith

tradition.

I you nd them challenging, remember that Thomas Edison said he invented the light bulb because hed

previously invented 99 things that werent a light bulb. We all have more power and capacity or change

than we realise.

The Guidelines are being brought alive or the 21st century by Universal Compassion and Wisdom or

Peace, an educational charity whose aim is to help people to be kind and wise. A ull scale book is being

launched at the 1st European Conerence on Happiness and its Causesin London in October 2007. They

are also being piloted around the world in the orm o study groups, school programmes, arts projects and

a yoga programme. A parents kit is underway

How can you get involved?

Feedback and suggestions or the uture development o the Guidelines are extremely welcome:

Have they been helpul to you?

Do you have any great stories or interesting links to add? Can you help us to share them with more people?

Contact: [email protected] www.happinessanditscauses.org

Life would be so wonderful

if we only knew what to do with it

(Greta Garbo, USA)


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The 16 Guidelines for a Happy Life

HOW WE THINK

Transorm your mind, transorm your lie

HOW WE FIND MEANINGI everything is changing, anything is possible

HOW WE ACT

Every skilul action makes a better world

4. delight

5. kindness

6. honesty

7. skilful speech

8. generosity

9. respect

10. forgiveness

11. gratitude

12. loyalty

13. principles

14. aspiration

15. love

16. responsibility

1. humility

2. tolerance

3. contentment

HOW WE RELATE TO OTHERSCherish others: Independence is a myth


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How we think transorm your mind: tr

In 1978 the Russian virtuouso pianist Vladimir

Horowitz was invited to play Rachmaninovs

third piano concerto to a select audience at

Carnegie Hall, New York. The concerto was

one o his avourite pieces o music - he had

been playing it or nearly thirty years and the

perormance was phenomenal. The virtuosity

and technical skill o the master pianist let the

audience spellbound. Ater the perormance,

a young piano student nervously came up toask a question. Sir, how long have you taken

to prepare this piece? Horowitz replied I am

still working on it!

Challenge

I never met a man so ignorant that I couldnt

learn something from him

(Galileo Galilei, Italy)

Find out more about Level 5 Leadership a paradoxical blend o erce will and personal humility google

Humility The most beautiul word in the English Language try saying you are right more oten

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Is there an area o your lie where you can integrate excellence and humility?

The Christian priest Thomas Merton said Pride makes us articial: humility makes us real.

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humility

Humility is inseparable fromgratitude


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nsorm your lie

Do you have days when you are really bad tempered, or example

over breakast or in the car, bus or train to work? When you snap at

someone quite unnecessarily and pass on your mood to the next

person as i it was a contagious illness? I snap at the conductor,

who then gets angry with the next passenger and who then upsets

the receptionist as they walk into workit happens every day. We

are so interconnected that its possible that the person who jostles

me on the train tonight could be part o the same chain o anger

that I set in motion when I didnt have the right change or the ticket

machine this morning. Somewhere in our individual and collectivepsyches, we must have been conned into thinking that its ok to

respond to anger with more anger.

2 tolerance

We must learn to live together as brothers,

or perish together as fools.

(Martin Luther King, USA)

Challenge

There are 101 Tools or Toleranceon www.tolerance.org divided into the ve sections:

yoursel, your home, your school, your workplace and your community

Is there anyone you know who really irritates you?

Can you take ve minutes out, in a quiet spot, to think about what it is that gets on your nerves?Is there a quality in that person which you have a hard time accepting within yoursel?

Can you use this insight to bring some space into the situation?

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Tolerance is the gateway to kindness, respectand love.


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How we think transorm your mind: tr

In the early 1980s the bestselling author Robert Kayosaki

helped high level executives explore how addiction to

excitement and drama isnt always the key to business

success. He created a ring toss game in which each

team was paid 1 dollar or getting the ring over a peg

just 3 eet away, graduating up to 20 dollars or scoring

a hit at 20 eet. The bigger the risk, the bigger the

potential payback. It took the winning team nearly 20

minutes to work out their strategy: or one o the team

to repeatedly score at a modest 3 eet, while everybodyelse physically kept her rom alling over. The message

was that being too greedy, and stretching too ar, can be

the biggest saboteur o business success. Sometimes

we need to do less, not more.

Challenge

Take a look at In Praise o Slowness (Carl Honore) i youve got a strong stomach,

watch Supersize Me

3

When Mick Jagger sang I cant get no satisaction,

he struck a chord with our modern addiction to more: speed, activity, possessions and reputation.When do restlessness and dissatisaction set in or you? Where do they lead?

Is there anything you can do to shit your response?

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contentment

Contentment with what you have yourself will enable you to takedelightin the good fortune of others

There is more to life than

increasing its speed.

(Mahatma Gandhi, India)


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nsorm your lie

Whenever something good happens to someone we know, we

have a choice: either to eel envious, or to take delight. The latest

discoveries o neuroscience suggest that through exercising that

choice, we are actually wiring our brains or the uture. Proessor

Richard Davidson rom the University o Madison, Wisconsin, has

spent the last ew years measuring the high-requency brain activity

o people who are meditating on compassion. His ndings are that

activity in the let prerontal cortex, the seat o positive emotions

such as happiness, can swamp any activity in the right prerontal

the site o negative emotions and anxiety. Just as aerobics sculpt

the muscles, what you do with your mind is sculpting the very abric

o your brain.

4 delight

All animals except man know that the

ultimate of life is to enjoy it.

(Samuel Butler, UK)

Challenge

www.charityocus.org oers daily bulletins with inspiring good news stories

When a colleague gets a pay rise or a promotion, whats your rst response?

Can you turn the coldness o envy into the warmth o delight, through sincerely celebrating their success?

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Delight is a form oflove wishing happiness for someone else


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How we act every skilul action make

Do you ever eel a thrill when you see someone act

with kindness or courage? In his book The Happiness

Hypothesis, Proessor Jonathan Haidt rom the

University o Virginia calls this elevation the

emotional response triggered by pure or virtuous

behaviour. His experiments indicate that the most

common response to seeing someone do something

good is to want to be with, love and help other people

yoursel. It is like a mental reset button that replaces

cynicism with hope and inspiration. In contrast, seeing

an act that triggers the negative emotion o disgustwill strengthen your ego boundaries and deences.

The implications are enormous.

Challenge

Watch a lm like Groundhog Day, Its a Wonderul Lieor Lie is Beautiulto remind yoursel

o the 360 degree benets that kindness will bring www.payitorwardoundation.org encourages

people to do a avour or someone else with no expectation o reward

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The Dalai Lama says: I you can, help others. I you cant, at least try not to harm them.

Can you try to put this into practice or a whole day, both at work and at home?

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kindness

Kindness is the short cut to every other Guideline

The basic attribute of mankind

is to look after each other.

(Fred Hollows, New Zealand/Australia)


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a better world

Muhammad Yunus won the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize or a scheme that

started with a simple loan o USD 27. As a trained economist, Yunus

was puzzled about why the people o Bangladesh were still so poor

despite decades o grants and oreign investment. The solution that

he ound was to lend money to the poorest o people, usually women,

without asking or any guarantee or collateral. More than 7 million

people have now beneted rom the Grameen Bank that he ounded,

which is entirely based on honesty and trust. His eorts to transorm

the vicious circle o low-income, low saving and low investment into

a virtuous circle o low income, injection o credit, investment, moreincome, more savings, more investment, more income have resulted in

even beggars being able to borrow money rom the bank that he set up.

His model is now being used all around the world.

6 honesty

Challenge

See www.muhammadyunus.org or more ino on the Grameen Bankget hold o a DVD o the lm The Corporation ...

join the Oxam campaign www.maketradeair.com

Is there an area o your lie where youre not as honest as youd like to be?

What are you invested in that traps you in that ongoing discomort?What do you need to make the shit and can you do it?

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Lack of honesty is often the result of lack ofcontentment- the feelingthat what we already have is never enough

Money doesnt talk:

it swears.

(Bob Dylan, USA)


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How we act every skilul action make

DO YOU EVER RECEIVE A MEMO WHERE IT FEELS

THAT THE OTHER PERSON IS YELLING AT YOU?

A Christmas letter that gives you more inormation

about babies, pets or holiday adventures - than

you ever cared to know? An email that orders you to

orward a message o love to ten people or else? The

irony is that i we want to communicate eectively,

or help someone to change, quiet and gentle usually

works best. The people with the most power are oten

those who take up the least airspace.

Challenge

Speak Peace in a World o Confictby Marshall Rosenberg and his website www.cnvc.org oer

practical tools on the art o peaceul and creative communication

how much do you know about netiquette?...

go to www.nomuzak.co.uk to support a campaign or more quiet in public places

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Mark Twain said: Noise proves nothing. Oten a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as i she

had laid an asteroid. What can you do to improve the quality o listening and speaking in your oce?

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skilful speech

How you speak is a direct expression of how you think about others whetheryou feel respectorgratitude, or want to showkindness orlove. Your colleagues,

friends and family probably pick up more of the meaning behind your

words than you realise.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will

make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours.

(Eric Idle, UK)


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a better world

In 1994, when the ootwear manuacturer Timberland was losing

money and acing a liquidity crisis, the investors ordered its CEO Je

Schwarz to curtail its long-established Path o Service programme.

None o this painting ences and hugging trees: it stops was the

message. At that time, every Timberland employee was entitled to

20 hours o community service. The same aternoon, Je changed

that to 40 hours. In a time o diculty, his priority was to strengthen

the culture and commitment o the company. Timberland now makes

around USD 1.5 billion revenue per year, with earnings per share at

about 19%. For the past ve years its been on the Forbes MagazinePlatinum Index and voted one o the best companies to work or in the

USA. Looking back at the turnaround, Je said: It was all about asking

or the greatness in people.

8 generosity

Challenge

Look up git economyon Wikipedia

the lm Babettes Feastshows how generosity can take unexpectedly creative orms

google volunteering and nd one thing that you can do

Is generosity simply about giving away something that we dont really want or need, or is it more than that?

Can you nd a way o sharing your time, skills or resources that would be a stretch or you?

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Generosity and responsibility reinforce each other.

You make a living by what you get.

You make a life by what you give.

(Winston Churchill, UK)


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How we relate to others cherish othe

A man walked into an interview in the City o London, or a

job that he particularly wanted to get. There was a fipchart

in one corner o the room and, without saying anything, he

stuck a photo o a amous artist up on it. He was the outside

candidate, so it was a tough interview. Not surprisingly, the

rst question was: Who is that photograph, and why did you

put it there? He replied that all his lie hed been inspired

by this particular artist, because o his genius and creativity,

and that the photo was a reminder that he was committed to

developing the same qualities in himsel. When the interview

panel came to make a decision, it was easy to remember thecandidate with the photo. His personal vision and capacity to

respect the qualities o others got him the job.

Challenge

Check out the term ubuntu

get inspired at www.speaktruth.org

get thinking on www.rolemodel.net.

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Take an honest look at the last ve years o your lie.

What people have you admired and copied?Are they taking you where you want to go?

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respect

Developing principles andaspiration will enable us tochoose effective role models.

Let every man be respected as an individual

and no man idolised.

(Albert Einstein, Germany/Switzerland)


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s: independence is a myth

When the young academic Fred Luskin was just starting out

on what was to become the Stanord Forgiveness Project,

he needed some people to participate in a research study.

He didnt have any success in recruiting students rom the

university campus, so he turned to the local newspaper

or help. The editor gave him a fat no this isnt o

interest, and it wont sell my paper. Fred asked i he would

be prepared to take 5 minutes, and ask the sta in the

newspaper oce whether any o them elt they carried a

grudge. Hal an hour later the editor rang him back, oering

to take the advertisement. Its incredible! They all said theycarried a grudge!

10 forgiveness

Challenge

Visit www.theorgivenessproject.org

or inspiring real-lie stories o orgiveness nd out more on the work o

Bishop Desmond Tutu and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Arica.

What grudges do you carry at the moment?

How does this aect your health and well-being?What do you need to do to regain your peace o mind?

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Forgiveness is only possible when we have thehumility to appreciatethat were not always right.

To forgive is not just to be altruistic.

It is the best form of self-interest.

(Desmond Tutu, South Africa)


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How we relate to others cherish othe

In Torontos nancial district, a man recently threw his rst-

ever Nice Party, a glitzy gig to celebrate all the people in his

lie who he said were the key to his success. As a partner

in a nationwide lumber supply company, he had noticed a

relationship between the rise in his corporate clout and the

act that people were being nicer to him. So he decided to

honour those who were nice to him or no reason who

had nothing obvious to gain. The invitation list included the

doorman rom his condo unit, the manager at his avourite

restaurant, and some o his oldest riends and close amily.Nice is underrated read the invitation. And because you

deserve to be celebrated, this invitation goes out to the

nicest people we know.

Challenge

www.grateulness.org provides resources or living in the gentle power o grateulness

www.appreciative-inquiry.org outlines a model or meetings and appraisals based on

what is positive rather than on what is lacking in a person or a situation.

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Is there someone who has changed your lie or the better, but may not be aware o it?

Can you nd an appropriate way to say thank you?

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gratitude

Gratitude is intrinsically linked to thehumilitywhich realises that from themoment we were conceived, we havent achieved anything on our own.

The highest appreciation is not to utter words,

but to live by them.

(John F Kennedy, USA)


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s: independence is a myth

At the Special Olympics in Seattle, nine

contestants, all physically or mentally disabled,

assembled at the starting line or the 100-yard

dash. At the gun, one little boy stumbled on

the asphalt, tumbled over, and started to cry.

The other eight heard the boy cry. They slowed

down and looked back. Then they all turned

around and went backevery one o them. One

girl with Down Syndrome bent down and kissed

him, saying This will make it better. Then allnine linked arms and walked together to the

nish line. They got a standing ovation. Loyalty

is remembered long ater a race is won.

12 loyalty

Challenge

Working with Emotional Intelligenceby Daniel Goleman

proposes that EQ skills such as loyalty and teamwork can matter more than IQ.

What does loyalty mean to you?

Is it a orce or good in your lie and relationships?

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Loyalty is part of taking responsibility for the welfare of others.With close friends and family, it often demandsforgiveness.

Its the friends you can call up

at 4am that matter.

(Marlene Dietrich, Germany)


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How we fnd meaning in lie I everyt

Do you ever get your goals and principles mixed up? A

amous experiment was conducted at Princeton University

in 1973, in which a group o theology students was asked

to walk across campus to deliver a sermon on the topic

o the Good Samaritan. As part o the research, some o

the students were told that they were late and needed to

hurry. Along the route, the researchers Darley and Batson

had placed an actor, who was lying on the ground in pain

and in need o help. In their haste to give a sermon on

compassion, 90% o the late students rom PrincetonTheology Seminary completely ignored the needs o the

suering person. Some o them literally stepped over him.

Challenge

Read The Triple Bottom Line(ed. Henriques & Richardson) on how businesses can simultaneously

deliver nancial, social and environmental benetslook up www.ethicalconsumer.org and

www.ethicaltraveller.org ... buy Change the World 9-5rom www.wearewhatwedo.org, a non-prot that

inspires people to use their everyday actions to change the world.

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In 2002, the Industrial Society (UK) ound that 65% o businesses would change their policies i pushed by

their employees. What can you do to ensure that your workplace aligns more closely with your principles?Change starts with the power o one.

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principles

Your principles are the bedrock for youraspirations.

An uneasy conscience is a

hair in the mouth

(Mark Twain, USA)


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ing is changing, anything is possible

In 1982, a major USA company created a

sta contest to nd energy-saving projects

with a high Return On Investment (ROI).

In the 1st year there were 27 winners, whose

projects led to capital investments o USD 1.7 million and

generated an average ROI o 173%. However the most

surprising aspect o the scheme was that instead o tailing

o ater the initial enthusiasm, it went rom strength to

strength. Ten years on, their employees are continuing to

generate imaginative energy-saving products and the ROIhas risen to an extraordinary 300%.

14 aspiration

Challenge

Look at The Business Guide to Sustainabilityby Darcy Hitchcok and Marsha Willard

or more stories and advice on energy-savingwww.wellgoal.com oers personal tools

or developing ocus and aspirationhave you heard about www.spiraldynamics.net - a stimulating

thesis about human and social development

Peter F Drucker saysUnless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.

Is there something that youd love to see happen which is so big that it would take more than one lietime?Are you willing to start it now?

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Aspiration is the fuel for how we think, act and relate to others.

Ive often said, the only thing standing between

me and greatness is myself.

(Woody Allen, USA)


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How we fnd meaning in lie I everyt

Only the paranoid survive is a requent comment in

business. However in 1999 Helena Cronin surprised

the heads o industry who were meeting at Davos with

her proposal that the survival o the ttest is not about

paranoia but about pronoia: loving and supporting each

other. Ater more than twenty years o study the London

School o Economics proessor has come up with a radical

re-interpretation o Darwinism, based on his lesser-known

studies o how mammals can give up their time, ood,

mate and even lie or the sake o others.

Challenge

www.unlimitedloveinstitute.org is dedicated to the exploration and promotion o love or humanity,

bringing together both spiritual and scientic viewpointsresearch love your neighbour as yoursel,

the golden rule behind all religions look at The Art o Happiness at Work Dr Howard Cutler

in dialogue with The Dalai Lama

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I you cant eed a hundred people, then eed just one was Mother Teresas advice.

Can you do just one thing, in the next week, that demonstrates love?Choose someone who you dont easily relate to.

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love

Its love that lubricates all the rest of the Guidelines.It leads effortlessly to tolerance, kindness, gentle speech, loyalty andforgiveness.

If you havent any charity in your heart, you have

the worst kind of heart trouble.

(Bob Hope, USA)


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ing is changing, anything is possible

In 2000, the employees o Epson in Portland,

Oregon, succeeded in reducing to zero their

waste to landll. They purchased a compactor to

compress their packaging, which is now passed on

as recycled input to another manuacturer. Excess

ink is sent away to be re-used as pigment or

paints. The nal 10% waste, which cant be re-used

or re-cycled in any way, goes to a acility where it is

burned to generate electricity. In the process they

saved USD 300,000.

16 responsibility

Challenge

www.zerowaste.org or the Zero Waste Alliance www.lowcarbonlie.net on carbon dieting

take Nelson Mandelas The Road to Freedom on holiday with you this summerand buyYouCan Save the Planet

(Buster Books 2007) or your kids

Charles Dunstone, CEO o Carphone Warehouse, recently said

Climate change isnt someone elses problem. We all have to play our part. Its time or us all to go on a carbon diet.Are you doing anything about this?

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Being responsible starts with being honestwith ourselves as well as with others.

There is no passion to be found in playing small in settling for

a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

(Nelson Mandela, South Africa)


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Love the turtle

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Universal Compassion and Wisdom for Peace is a

non-prot organisation whose aim is to create a more

peaceul world by helping people everywhere to be

kind and wise. It provides resources, training and

support or a network o over 1000 people worldwide

working in schools, amily camps, health and social

care, prisons and the workplace.

Universal Compassion and Wisdom or Peace is

grateul to Terrapinn. or their generous support and

collaboration.

Nearly everyone involved with Universal Compassion

and Wisdom or Peace is contributing their time and

skills as volunteers. We are grateul to Honorary

President Lama Zopa, the inspiration behind the

16 Guidelines for a Happy Life, and to the many

people around the world who have supported their

development. Special thanks go to: Venerable Connie

Miller, Federica Cardelli, Anna Cherry, Anna Colao,

Jane Morton and Dekyi-Lee Oldershaw.

Universal Compassion and Wisdom or Peace

April 2007

ino@essential-education org

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